Promise I'm getting to some light and fun stuff next chapter. Let me know what you think!


"I'm really sorry about this," Erin said quietly when Piper went to wash her hands before the pizza, "You finally have a night to yourself and I just ruined it because I can't seem to handle anything by myself."

"I'd rather spend my evening with you guys than by myself," Jay replied, raw honesty evident in his voice, "I didn't come because you couldn't handle it, Er. I came because I wanted to help." He smiled softly, "You don't always have to try to handle everything by yourself, you know. You have back up for a reason."

A smile played on her lips as well. "I uh, I really appreciate it. You coming when I needed you." She exhaled, "You always come through for me, Jay."

He brushed some of the hair off her face tenderly, "You've been there for me too."

"Not when it counted," she scoffed, meeting his gaze with watery eyes, "I um, I haven't stopped thinking about what Will said. About how bad it was for you."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about everything my brother so casually dropped in conversation," Jay said, stroking her cheek with his thumb, "Maybe after she falls asleep tonight?"

Erin nodded and closed her eyes when Jay pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Her cheeks darkened when her stomach grumbled loudly. "I'm so hungry," she managed with a chuckle when Jay smiled, "I was so nervous I don't think I ate today."

"I will never understand how you just forget to eat," Jay shook his head and dropped his hand from her cheek, "Let's get some food in both of you." He turned to Piper as she emerged from the bathroom, "You hungry, Pipes?"

Piper shrugged and sat down at the table. "My stomach just growled really loudly," Erin informed her, hoping to get a smile out of her little sister, "I'm surprised you didn't hear it."

Erin could have cried tears of joy when the ends of Piper's lips quirked upwards. "I like your pizza order," Piper said shyly, "I think the pepperoni is really good."

She beamed, "It's my favorite. I know Jay likes the veggie pizza, but I personally believe there is no place for vegetables on pizza."

"I stand by the veggie pizza," Jay replied teasingly, "Gotta get the greens in one way or another, and I figure they might as well be soaked in cheese."

Erin made a face and Piper giggled. Immediately it felt like a storm cloud was lifted. That giggle was magical.


Jay claimed to need to make a phone call after dinner, hoping that if he could stay out of the way a little bit, Erin would have a chance to talk to Piper and tuck her into bed. His heart ached at the thought of not giving the little girl a kiss goodnight and telling her a bedtime story, but he knew that it was important for Erin to get more confident in her ability to raise Piper. Raising kids from trauma was hard, there was no question about it. Jay had delved into research and books and online courses – and everything about it said the process was going to be long, exhausting and tough, but so, so worth it.

He also knew that Erin was fighting an uphill battle to get Piper to trust her. Jay had been the first person to make Piper feel safe, and he knew that because of that, his relationship with Piper came easier. Erin had the challenge of trying to show the little girl that other people, beyond Jay, could be trusted, a task which all his research said would be incredibly difficult.

Jay admired just how much Erin cared, and wanted to try again. It killed him that she was beating herself up for the two steps forward, one step back relationship with Piper, but it wasn't her fault. His little friend had been through unimaginable trauma, and as much as she wanted to trust her big sister, her brain had been wired to be skeptical – and rightfully so.

While Erin took the lead on nighttime duties, Jay did his best to not snoop around Erin's rented bedroom. It was Erin-messy, as expected, and he busied himself by tidying. He wiped off the surfaces and folded clothes that stuck out haphazardly from her suitcases. Jay made the bed and fluffed the pillows, and even lined up her shoes.

"You couldn't help yourself, huh?"

Jay turned to see Erin standing in the doorway, teasing smile on her lips. "Honestly, Halstead, you can be such a neat freak."

He chuckled and tossed the pillow he was fluffing back on the bed to rest against the seven others. "Some things never change."

"Apparently," she sighed, dramatically flopping back on the freshly made bed. Erin propped herself up on her elbows to meet his curious gaze. "She's sleeping now. Thanks, uh, for letting me take it."

"I had a phone call," he insisted, unable to keep the smile off his face when Erin rolled her eyes.

"Please, Jay. I was your partner, and I know you. You think I don't notice that you disappear every time we hang out with Piper to give me a chance to get to know her better?" She smirked when he didn't deny it. "You aren't the only detective here, you know."

"Don't I know it," he replied after clearing his throat. He eased himself down onto the bed and laid down on the other side. "So she did okay?"

Erin nodded and sighed again. "Yeah. I apologized again. Told her we're still here for a bit, and that my priority is keeping her safe." She paused, "I just feel like I really fucked up."

"It's going to happen," Jay assured her, "You don't even want to know the amount of times I've said the wrong thing. It's all trial and error."

She snorted, "I guess. You're just such a natural dad. I mean, I never realized it til Piper but you are literally the daddiest dad I ever met."

"I am not," Jay shot back, "You're just equating cleanliness with parenthood, Er. I'm learning, just like you are."

"You're the one who always kept a spare pair of socks in the glove compartment, and never once let me throw out any uneaten food." Erin narrowed her eyes, "And you laugh at every stupid dad joke too."

Jay feigned offense. "Okay, one, nobody likes wet socks," he refuted, "Two, I just happen to not like to let food go to waste and three, that's called humor, Erin."

She shook her head, eyes sparkling, "Is that why you also kept a spare pair of my socks in the glove compartment?"

"And didn't you appreciate it when you stepped in that puddle?" Jay grinned cheekily when Erin recalled her unfortunate run in with a deep puddle that resulted in soaking wet socks, "You didn't freeze your toes off, did you?"

"Fine," she laughed, "I give up. I like your little methods." Her voice lowered, "I missed them."

Jay was quiet for a moment. "I missed you too," he said slowly, "I um, didn't even really realize how much I did, til I saw you again. I tried not to think about it."

"I'm never going to stop being sorry," Erin whispered, "For not being there for you when you needed it."

"I'm never going to stop being sorry for leaving in the first place," he replied, and rolled onto his side and extended his hand to stroke her cheek, "I did think about that, every day."

"I just…" Erin choked out, "When Will said that he thought you were going to die yesterday…I haven't been able to get it out of my head. How bad it was for you. I-I just keep thinking about the nightmares I had in New York because I thought I could feel you hurting." Tears trickled down her cheeks before she could stop them, "I thought you were going to die too. I thought I was going to get a call, and it would be Hank, telling me bluntly, just like he did with Al. And I knew that it would be the call that killed me."

"I had nightmares about you too," Jay murmured, carefully wiping a tear on his partner's cheek away with his thumb, "I um, I convinced myself it was better that you were in New York and not…" He trailed off, unable to complete the sentence, but they both knew what he was going to say. It was better Erin was alive in New York than dead on her feet in Chicago. Neither of them wanted to relive the experience they had after Nadia.

She sniffed, "I wanted to come back, so many times. And I tried to stand on my own two feet but now that I'm home I can't, I feel like I'm drowning and suffocating but the worst part is that I'm probably happier than I've been in a long time." Erin put her hand on top of Jay's wrist, "And I'm just really scared."

"Me too," he replied, slowly closing the gap between them, "Finding Piper…she's incredible, Er. And having you back here, it's been some of the best weeks of my life. I was okay, I was getting better, but the two of you being here…I feel whole for the first time. I mean, I know I still have my demons but last time I was tryin' to keep them all inside. And I'm scared to lose that."

Erin nodded. "I-I know we always said we'd be honest with each other but-"

"Maybe we both had a little bit of growing up to do," Jay supplied, stroking her cheek again, "I mean, you've always been a badass, but now you're a professional badass."

She let out a chuckle, "I do like the job. I guess I'm good at it. I mean, it's not Chicago but I feel like I'm making a little bit of a difference."

"That doesn't surprise me at all. That you're good at your job." He smiled sadly, "I don't want you to give that up."

"I would do anything for Piper," Erin swallowed, "I like the job, but she's my sister. And right now, she's gotta be the most important thing. She deserves that."

Jay nodded in agreement. "We're always going to put her first. When it comes to everything." He let out a small exhale, "I uh, I made a few calls about getting her into St. James for when school starts so she gets back into the swing of things, even while you're still in court."

"Really?" Erin's heart ached. Jay was such an incredible partner. She hadn't even thought about school in New York.

"Mm-hm. I know a guy." He smiled when Erin rolled her eyes, "It'll be a totally new place, so hopefully better than whatever school experience she had before. And they've got some kind of support system for kids who are getting up to speed or need a little extra help." Jay swallowed, "We're working on reading and stuff and she's definitely getting there, but with like math and science and all that other crap like whatever the heck phonics is, I don't want her to struggle alone."

"You're amazing," she whispered, "For looking out for her. Thinking about all this stuff, I…I don't know how you do it."

"I learned a thing or two about empathy from a partner I had a few years back," he teased, smiling wider when Erin's lips lifted.

"We were really great partners," Erin mused, "I missed you, every part of you, but um, I missed that relationship the most."

"We're kind of partners again," he said carefully. He knew that he had to tread lightly when it came to Erin. "Both doin' our best with Piper. With the occasional uh…"

She smiled, "Yeah. We are partners. Always will be." Erin stroked his fingers as she listened to Jay's soft inhales and exhales. There was something about the cadence of his breath that never ceased to ground her.

"I um, was going to ask you to marry me. The day you left." He couldn't let it go unspoken between them for any longer, especially not after Will had dropped the bomb.

Erin felt her heart stop. "That day?"

Jay nodded slowly, "I uh, had the ring in my pocket."

"We…we weren't even together then," she whispered, "And you were still gonna?"

He nodded again. "You were my partner first, and you were still my partner but um, I knew it had to wait. Til I knew you could say yes."

Tears filled Erin's eyes again. He wanted to wait. He never really gave up on them. "Part of me wishes you asked anyway," she managed, "But-"

"But you still wouldn't have been able to stay," he finished for her, "I know. I saw it, in your eyes. I didn't know it then, that you were leaving, but I knew you weren't ready. And truth be told, I wasn't. I-I was just thinking about how much I loved you and I knew it was too special to ask more than once."

"Maybe one day," Erin whispered, finally scooting close enough to Jay on the bed to feel his breath on her forehead, "When we have better timing."

He leaned down to press a kiss on top of her head, "Maybe one day."

She lifted her gaze to meet his. "I know I don't really have a right to ask but um, I'm here now. We're both here, raising Piper, spending all this time together like when we were first partners. And we've got at least another month so uh, maybe we can see where this goes? Take some time to think about everything, and take it slow?"

Jay grinned, "I can take it slow. Took it slow for a few years back there til you finally gave it up when you saw that poster of a motorcycle in my bedroom."

"Please," Erin rolled her eyes again, "It was the pantsuit for you, Halstead."

"I am a sucker for a pantsuit," he replied cheekily, "But I uh, I'm down. To see where this goes. But we'll put Piper first."

"Piper first," Erin confirmed. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, grateful she and Jay were on the same page.


"Erin? Erin?"

The small voice roused her from sleep as Erin fought to distinguish what was real and what was a dream. She was in bed, atop the covers but fully draped across Jay's chest as he laid flat on his back, also on top of the covers. He was snoring slightly, deeply sleeping. That was real life. She scrambled in realization that Piper was supposed to be asleep. "Didn't mean to fall asleep," Jay mumbled, "Everything okay?"

"She's awake," Erin hissed, glancing nervously to her bedroom door, "What do I do?"

"You got it," Jay gave a small smile of encouragement, "Trust yourself, Er. She doesn't know I'm still here, and she doesn't need to."

Erin managed a nod and hurried across the apartment, heart in her chest. She pushed the bedroom door open slightly. "Hi Noodle," she greeted softly when she caught sight of her little sister sitting up in bed, "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"N-nothing," Piper said quickly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," Erin shook her head as she took a step forward, "Did you have a bad dream?"

Her heart ached when Piper gave a small nod. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"You can always, always wake me up if you need anything," Erin assured her. She was grateful that Piper hadn't sought her out in her bedroom to find her wrapped around Jay, though. That would have been a tough conversation to work her way out of. "Can I come sit with you for a bit?"

Piper nodded again and didn't stiffen when Erin perched on the edge of the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The little girl was quiet for a moment. "I keep getting worried about Bunny coming to get you again," she whispered, "When she came to Sergeant Voight's house."

Erin nodded slowly in understanding. "I'm so sorry she did that," she said in an exhale, "But she can't hurt us."

"I'm not worried about her getting me, 'cause she doesn't know me," Piper whispered, "I'm worried about her getting you." She met Erin's gaze, "She got you real good before. And she kept getting you."

She swallowed. Piper knew that their mother knew just how to exploit her weakest points. "I'm not going to let her get to me this time," Erin promised, placing a hand on Piper's blanketed knee, "And I'm going to fight so hard to make sure she doesn't get to you either."

Piper nodded. "I know." She paused, "I-I just don't want to ruin your life."

Erin felt like she took a knife to the gut. "No, sweetheart," she choked out, "You are not ruining my life, not one bit." She gave a watery smile, "You're making it better. A thousand percent better. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Mrs. Davis said I ruined her life," Piper whispered, "Bunny didn't want me to ruin her life, either, that's how come I got sent around to all the places in the first place. I-I don't want to do that to you."

Erin shook her head furiously, "I am so sorry someone said that to you," she whispered, "That is horrible and it breaks my heart because you are doing the opposite." Erin let the tears slip down her cheeks, "You brought me here. Home. Chicago. Before I met you, I didn't really have a family. But you're my sister, Noodle. I'm so, so glad I have the chance to get to know you and love you."

At that, Piper shed the covers and scrambled into Erin's arms. "I'm sorry," she whispered yet again, "For-for being mad at you." She sniffed, "I-I don't want you to hate me."

Erin bit her lip to keep the tears at bay. "I could never hate you," she replied fiercely, "Never, okay? No matter what. We're sisters, and sometimes sisters get upset at each other. But that's just normal."

Piper nodded against Erin's shoulder. "I didn't mean it. When I said I wish I hadn't met you." She held closer, "I'm so glad I did. And that I have a sister."

"Me too," Erin mused, pressing a kiss on top of Piper's head. She continued to hold her closely but could feel the little girl fighting sleep. "You want to lie back down, try to go back to sleep?"

"C-can you stay for a bit?" Piper asked sleepily, still clutching Erin's t shirt in her fists, "I-I like when I know you're there."

"Of course," Erin breathed, grateful that after the day they had Piper still wanted her close. "Let's get you tucked in, and I'll stay right down there til you fall asleep."

Piper laid down but looked at the pillow on the other side of the bed. "C-can you stay closer?"

"I can," she replied quickly and laid her head down beside her little sister before reaching out a hand to stroke her hair, "I'm going to be right here."


Erin opened her eyes and did a double take. She wasn't in her bed in New York, nor was she in her bed in Chicago. She was in the guest bed – Piper's bed – in Chicago, and her little sister was adorably cuddled in her arms, replacing the third and fourth pillow she usually slept with. Piper was fast asleep, tiny lips parted as she breathed softly.

The clock on the nightstand showed that it was just half past eight, and Erin immediately relaxed. Jenna O'Donnell wasn't due to pick up Piper for another ninety minutes, and the little girl could sleep if she needed to. Erin didn't want to vacate the bed, because despite the fact that she was on top of the covers, Piper was keeping her warm. She wondered if Jay ended up leaving throughout the night. He'd encouraged her to handle Piper's nightmare herself, but had been fully asleep in her bed before. She smiled at the thought of Jay getting a good night's rest, because she knew how badly he needed it.

When she heard the door close lightly, Erin realized what had woken her up. Jay had spent the night in her bed, but was leaving before Piper woke up to make sure that she could finish off the visit with her sister. Her heart leapt as the conversation they had the night before drifted back. They were going to take things slow. He'd never fully closed the door on them, and neither had she.

And they both agreed to prioritize Piper.

Jay was such a good guy. Probably the best she'd ever known.

"You stayed all night," Piper murmured, glancing shyly up at Erin, "That's how come I slept so good."

Erin smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of her sister's head. "I slept really good too, Noodle." She pulled back slightly, "Are you hungry for some breakfast? I got some ingredients to make French toast."

Piper gave an excited nod, "The one from Wisconsin?"

"Mm-hm," Erin confirmed, "I'll make sure not to burn myself this time though."

Erin couldn't believe the difference a good night sleep made. Her little sister was giggly and inquisitive when it came to making breakfast, and made sure to remind Erin to watch herself when using the stove. It was a far cry from the distraught and timid little girl who was huddled in the bedroom the night before, and for that Erin was incredibly grateful.

"It's so good," Piper said seriously, taking another bite of the second piece of French toast Erin slid onto her plate.

"I'm glad you like it," Erin beamed, unable to keep the smile off her face. Piper was eating, and not just picking at her food, but eating with excitement. "The strawberries aren't too much?"

Piper shook her head, "They make it better," she insisted, flashing a smile, "Super good."

"We still gotta have that taste test against Jay's pancakes," Erin reminded her, "See which ones are better, right?"

"Yeah!" Piper exclaimed, "We gotta try both still to see which one is the best." She dropped her voice, "But I think it's this one."

"We won't tell Jay," Erin winked, "We can let him think that he's got the lead." She smiled again when Piper nodded in agreement.

"Are you gonna come over for dinner?" Piper asked, "Like normal?"

"I think so," she replied, realizing she hadn't yet responded to Jay's text message. He'd sent one after creeping out of the apartment, and included that he didn't want to wake them because they were sleeping so sweetly. "I'll text Jay back in a bit and see if there's anything he wants me to pick up. I've got to go into my office later today, and there's a good market right next to it."

Piper nodded. "I really like it when you get to come over to Jay's."

"I do too," Erin said in agreement, "He's a good cook, huh?"

She smiled, "I like listening to you guys talk."


So there are still a few things coming up - fun stuff, Will and Jay, some drama etc but to respond to some comments, a lot of this is moving slow, though it's for a reason. I want to make sure I recognize the experience that kids like Piper have, because it's not always a quick change. These things can take a lot of time and energy and work, so I hope I'm conveying that and it clears up why it can be so hard for Piper to trust Erin consistently.

Yay okay sorry for the longer note but wanted to address it. Hope you're excited for the next couple - still soooooo much to unpack!