A/N: This one also goes along with "High Society" and the premise that Deeks and Eric have been making up names/fake terms of endearment for each other for a while.
"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you something, Deeks," Callen said a few days later as the team cleared up after an impromptu basketball game.
"Ask away. My significant detective and lawyerly skills are at your disposal," Deeks said grandly. He didn't need to look to know Kensi was rolling her eyes at him.
"Yeah, I don't really need those. I'm more interested in why you called Eric your 'gentle lover'." Callen smirked at him as Kensi said,
"You what now?"
"Oh you heard that, did you?" Deeks asked with a slightly embarrassed chuckle. He didn't notice Eric frantically waving his arms while he shook his head.
"I knew it! You did call Deeks a Viking Prince!" Nell shouted, lightly smacking Eric on the arm. Sam chuckled and held up a hand.
"Wait a second, I'm gonna need a recap here. Why are Deeks and Beale calling each other pet names?"
"They're not pet names," Eric answered tightly. "And it's just a joke."
"I want to know more about this 'gentle lover' business," Kensi said, waggling her eyebrows ridiculously. Deeks pursed his lips and sighed.
"Ahem, yes I did call Eric my gentle lover and he did call me a Viking Prince," he confirmed, quickly raising a finger to add, "but there's a perfectly valid explanation for it."
"Oh do tell," Sam said quietly, looking mildly amused.
"Some weeks ago-"
"Five, to be exact," Eric inserted, apparently more concerned with the details being accurate than his desire to keep it a secret.
"Five weeks ago," Deeks started again, clearing his throat as he looked pointedly at Eric. "Eric gave me, shall we say, a nickname."
"What was said nickname?" Callen asked with a delighted smirk.
"Doesn't matter. The point is, since then it's sort of been a competition to see who can come with the most creative name."
"Um, I'm pretty sure you started it," Eric said with a frown.
"I distinctly recall you throwing out the first name. And I happen to have an excellent memory," Deeks countered, folding his arms.
"And I have it on video." Eric folded his arms similarly, his expression stubborn.
"I'm going to need to see that video feed," Kensi said with a wide grin.
"Um, me too." Nell raised her hand eagerly.
"You know what, that was a lie. I don't actually have any video," Eric said quickly, sharing a worried glance with Deeks. Kensi leaned against Deeks' side, stroking his hair.
"Oh, come on, Deeks, just tell me one little nickname," she pleaded. He gingerly plucked her fingers off his head, unmoved by her attempts at a puppy dog expression.
"Not happening."
"I bet I can guess," Callen said. "Golden Surfer."
"Not even close."
"Sexy Surfer?" Nell suggested.
"That sounds like a stripper name," Sam commented. Deeks quickly glanced down at Kensi who was biting her lip to keep herself from saying anything. She patted his arm sympathetically, but couldn't quite keep the smile off her face.
"Ooh, what about the Nerd Beneath my Wings?"
"G, that's terrible. And it doesn't make any sense."
"I like it," Nell decided, looking consideringly at Eric.
"And I think that's our cue to leave," Deeks said, shouldering his workout bag. Eric hurried to catch up with him.
"Eric-"
"Delete the audio. Way ahead of you," he muttered, looking furtively behind them.
"We'll figure it out one way or another," Callen called after them. As they disappeared from view, Kensi said,
"Don't worry, I have a, ahem, secret weapon." She stuck out her chest and raised her eyebrows suggestively.
"Sexpionage, I like it," Nell said appreciatively.
"You know, this is suddenly less fun than it was a minute ago," Callen commented, shaking his head at Kensi.
"But let us know what you find out," Sam added.
"Will do," Kensi agreed.
A/N: I know sexpionage isn't quite the right word, but it was the best I could come up with.
