Sebastian unlocked the front door and stepped in far enough to turn the small foyer light on. Kurt followed him in and closed the door behind him. He looked around. It was smaller than he had anticipated, but Sebastian had said that it was just a regular house, but he figured 'regular' meant something different to Sebastian.

Sebastian moved further into the living room and turned on more lights. The floor was gray terrazzo with aqua, cream, and charcoal navy flecks in it. The furniture was navy with silver accents around the room. The wood pieces in the room were stained a distressed gray.

Kurt noticed the coat closet. "Why does the coat closet have a deadbolt on it?"

"Oh, my mom added that so that we can leave some stuff here and not bring it every time, like umbrellas, our lightweight raincoats, our swimming stuff, and sandals. She put a narrow pantry shelf in there where she moved the non-perishable food we didn't eat so that anyone who rents the place won't just eat it."

"That makes sense."

"The place was furnished when she bought it. She made a few updates and changed a few things, but things like the books in the study don't matter to us personally since they came with the house and if someone steals one, it's not a big deal." He walked over to the study and peeked inside to see the sliding barn door. "Okay, so a mini tour before we go to bed, so if you wake up and need something you'll know where it is. He moved to stand next to Kurt who was still standing in the small foyer. "To your immediate right, is obviously the closet we just discussed. To your left is a half-bath."

They both stepped forward.

"Living room, obviously." He pointed to his right. "Study, office, library, whatever." He pointed to the next room going towards the back of the house. "Kitchen. Through the opening you can see the dining room. And past that is a sun room. There's a grill out there and some chaises. Both of those rooms have patio doors that lead into the lanai."

"Got it."

"The hallway you can see to the left leads to the three bedrooms. Each one has it's own bathroom, but just the master bath has a tub. At one point in time, the two other bedrooms shared a bathroom, but when people wanted to rent it or have guests, someone put in two smaller bathrooms, which ate into the floor space of the rooms a bit, but it's not like people on vacation spend that much time in their bedroom."

"True." Kurt walked through the living room, pulled the curtain aside and looked out back. "Nice pool."

"It is. With the house being shaped like a U, it made creating the lanai easy with only one end to enclose and then the cover over the top."

Kurt let the curtain fall back closed. "So, a shower and bed, so we can get up with the sun?"

"That might be a bit early, but sure."

"6:30 isn't that early," Kurt teased.

"It's not, but I might have wanted extra snuggles since you don't have to run off to class for the first time."

"Surely there's a 2-person chaise out there. We could snuggle and watch the sun come up."

"Consensus reached. Now that I think about it, let's unlock the closet and move the food to the kitchen. We can at least eat cereal bars and drink coffee until we're ready to go out and get some groceries."

While Sebastian put the food in the cabinet, Kurt wandered through the dining room and the sun room. He came back in and wrapped his arms around Sebastian from the back and pressed his cheek to Sebastian's shoulder. "How about a moonlight swim?"

He turned in Kurt's arms. "That sounds really nice." He ran his fingers through Kurt's hair. "I like your hair cut. I liked it the other way too, but this looks easier to deal with in the summer. He kissed Kurt and wrapped his arms around him. He tilted his head down just a bit and nuzzled into Kurt's neck and held him close.

"Bas?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Perfect." He inhaled deeply. "It still feels a bit surreal. When I was here, I thought about you a lot. I wanted this so badly, but honestly the most I'd let myself hope for was that you'd come with me as my friend and we'd have a lot of fun. When you asked me to be you boyfriend, I was thrilled. I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but I'm so glad you did."

"Me too. I really like spending time with you and I like you, a lot."

"I would hope so since you're my boyfriend," he teased.

"I just wanted you to hear me actually say it. Santana was right."

"About what?"

"About you putting up with me when I was being tetchy."

"You had a good reason. It's not like you were being irascible or just plain mean. You were hurting. There's a big difference. And you apologized every time. I'm a patient man. I don't have some deluded belief that there are couples that are 100% compatible in every aspect of their lives. No two people like the exact same everything, not even identical twins. I'm not expecting you to suddenly develop an interest in physics, but I hope that you'll be interested enough to be excited for me if I prove something or discover something."

"Of course I would be."

"Let's go change and talk while we swim."

Kurt kissed him under his ear and stepped back. Sebastian double-checked the lock on the front door. Kurt followed Sebastian to the bedroom at the end of the hallway. They opened their suitcases and emptied them quickly.

"I'm going to jump in the shower and wash out the product I have in my hair before I get in the pool." Kurt took his swim trunks into the bathroom with him and showered quickly. When he came out Sebastian was sitting on the bed waiting for him. "Do I need to bring a towel?"

"No, there's a stack of beach towels out in the sun room. When we were here, my mom ordered ten that are identical except the color. She didn't like us dragging the new ones from the bathrooms out to the pool. She said it would make them all fade differently and not match anymore."

"Makes sense." He hung the towel back up in the bathroom. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

The both grabbed towels on their way out to the pool.

"No one can get in here, right?" Kurt asked as he stepped out the patio door.

"Nope." He turned the lights on in the pool.

"Oh, that's makes it a lot nicer." He put his towel on a chair and sat along the edge of the pool and put his feet in.

Sebastian put his towel next to Kurt's and walked down the steps into the pool. He pushed through the water and stood in front of Kurt.

"How deep does it get?"

"This part is about four feet. The deepest part is on the other end and it's six feet."

"Okay." He slipped down into the water. He pushed off and swam towards the other side of the pool through the shallow area and back to Sebastian. "Aren't you going to swim?"

"What? Oh, sorry. I was busy watching you swim."

Kurt splashed him. Sebastian grabbed for him, but Kurt had taken off swimming away from him the instant he had splashed him. Sebastian swam after him, but Kurt stopped halfway down the pool and double-backed. When Sebastian stopped swimming and looked around for Kurt, he saw that he was on the opposite end of the pool.

He narrowed his eyes and a huge smile broke out on his face. "Slick. Very tricky." He swam back towards Kurt, but did a modified breast stroke so he could keep his head out of the water and watch Kurt.

Kurt watched as Sebastian stood up, water beading down his body, and he shivered from just how attracted he was Sebastian. Why am I holding myself back? Why can't I let myself have what I want?

"Kurt?"

Kurt was still thinking about how afraid he was that he wouldn't be enough for Sebastian. "Hmm?"

"You zoned out for a second there."

"You're very distracting."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You're so attractive. I was trying to talk myself into doing what I really want."

Sebastian took the opportunity to break the tension. "So, tell me what you want. What you really, really want," he sang, doing his best Spice Girls impression.

"You."

"You already have me. I don't understand."

Kurt stepped closer and kissed him. "Let's swim a little more. We can talk after I get my thoughts a little less jumbled."

"Okay." He pecked Kurt on the lips, and then pushed off to swim to the deep end of the pool.

They swam laps back and forth several times. Finding a rhythm to the movement of his arms and legs, the motions became automatic and Kurt began to relax. He had had a long day and after several laps, he was pretty tired. He climbed out of the pool and grabbed his towel and dried off. Even though it was nearly 11pm, it was still warm enough to be comfortable in just the swim trunks. He sat down on chaise, leaned back, closed his eyes, and relaxed.

When Sebastian got to the end of the pool and saw that Kurt had gotten out, he got out and dried off too. He moved one of the other chaises next to Kurt's, adjusted it to match, and sat down next to him.

When Kurt no longer heard any movement, he reached out and turned his hand over to offer it to Sebastian, who took it. They intertwined their fingers and lay there in silence for a few minutes.

Kurt eventually broke the silence. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm afraid to let myself have what I want."

"Which is me."

"Yes."

"Okay."

"It may be irrational from the outside looking in, but from the inside looking out, it makes perfect sense."

"Alright."

"This goes back quite a ways. Whenever there was something I really wanted and it was within reach and seemed to be within my grasp, it was either yanked away or I got it and then something terrible happened."

Sebastian ran his thumb along Kurt's index finger in a comforting way, but remained quiet, letting Kurt get his thoughts out.

"I'll just mention a few from the last few years. Sophomore year, Mr. Schue suggested "Defying Gravity" for Sectionals and gave it to Rachel." He told him the story. "I blew the high note on purpose because I didn't want my dad to get harassed more for me singing a woman's song in a competition open to the public. And in the end, he didn't use the song. I lost to her on purpose, but didn't say anything at the time. She held that over my head for years."

Sebastian sighed.

Kurt went on. "Junior year had been such a disaster that I didn't really do anything to add to my CV for college applications, so senior year I had virtually nothing to put on my applications. I decided to run for Senior Class President." He explained the ballot box stuffing issue. "I won by 192 votes. I asked her last fall how many extra ballots she put in the year before and she said 100. So, technically I won, but I didn't. And before you say 'That's not fair,' don't bother. McKinley wasn't known for fairness."

"It still sucks."

"Yeah. So, I've told you about Blaine getting Tony. It was my senior year and it was the first year we had done a musical that could actually be staged by high school students in Lima. Sophomore year, Mr. Ryerson chose Cabaret."

Sebastian laughed.

"Exactly. He had cast Rachel as Sally Bowles and that was it."

"Well, to be fair, I can't imagine anyone parents being willing to let their underage children play the roles of prostitutes and performers in a night club."

"Right. Junior year, Mr. Schuester chose The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Not one bit. So, obviously, we didn't get to perform that for anyone. So, I was thrilled when West Side Story was chosen."

"And you didn't get Tony despite everyone having agreed that it should go to a senior, specifically you."

"Exactly. Then in the spring, Madame Tibideaux praised my audition. Rachel choked. She got in and I didn't."

"That's ridiculous."

"It is. So, it appeared that I would get what I wanted and it was yanked away. I went to New York a little past the middle of September. I managed to get my internship at Vogue a week later. It was thrilling. Anyway, a week later, Blaine came to New York."

"So you got great job followed by Blaine breaking your heart. What an ass."

"I know. Then I was given the chance to audition on the spot at the Winter Showcase with no warm-up or anything. I got into NYADA. My dad came to visit. He took me out to see my first Broadway show and told me he had cancer."

"So, you got what you wanted, and then found out something bad again."

"Finn and I had finally gotten to a point where we were good."

"And then he died."

Kurt sighed. "And I've lost Carole in a way too."

"And most of the people you've been on friendly terms with."

"That too."

Sebastian squeezed his hand gently. "You're afraid that if we get any closer, you'll lose me somehow or that something else catastrophic will happen to someone you care about."

"I know it's irrational."

"I get it. And I can't guarantee something bad won't happen, but this time what will be different is that I'll be there with and for you, just like I was with Finn's death. I couldn't change what had happened, but I did what I could to be there for you without actually being able to be in New York all the time."

Kurt squeezed his hand. "And it made a big difference. I got to know you."

"All I can say to that we have to enjoy the time we have to our fullest. Holding back won't make each day we have together better in any way. And if one of us isn't going to be around for a long time, the other won't feel better knowing that we held back."

"I know you're right. I do. How about we go inside and shower and keep talking in bed where we can snuggle?"

"Sure."

X-X-X-X-X

Kurt was already in bed when Sebastian came out of the bathroom with just his towel wrapped around him. "I forgot my pajamas." He crossed the dark room to get a pair out of the dresser.

"Skip the shirt."

Sebastian was taken aback by Kurt's statement, but grabbed the pants and went back into the bathroom. He came back out a minute later. "Do you want me to leave the light on in the bathroom?"

"The moon is pretty full. I think we can see okay."

He went around and got in bed, matching Kurt's position on his back and took his hand again.

Just tell him. Why am I dragging my feet? "I think part of the strangeness of all of this is that you look at me like I'm filet mignon and I'm used to being looked at like I'm a soda cracker."

Sebastian laughed. "You are no soda cracker."

"You're missing the point. I didn't mean the way I dress. You look at me like you want me."

"I do want you. You aren't misinterpreting anything."

"I've never been wanted."

"While I'm sure that's not true, it may very well be that no one else has let you know how much they wanted you. It took all of my willpower to keep my eye-fucking to a minimum every time we were within ten feet of each other."

"Bas!"

"What, babe? True is true. You're hot. I have eyes and a teenage libido."

"You're serious."

"I care about you too much to do what my libido tells me to do. How's that for truth time?"

"What does your libido say?"

"To kiss you, make out with you until we're both worked up, and then to follow through."

"You want to have sex with me?"

"Yes? Of course? I'm gay. You're gorgeous. I'm attracted to you. We're dating." I'm in love with you. "I'm not sure what's so hard to understand about that."

"Just the fact that you actually really want me."

"Do you want a demonstration or something? What is going to convince you? I can show you here and now, if you'd like." He let go of Kurt's hand and placed Kurt's hand palm down on the bed and picked it up. "I'm fine with this, but I don't want to do something against your will."

"You want me to touch you?"

"Very much so."

Kurt let Sebastian guide his hand.

"And that's after me relieving myself in the shower in hopes of not poking you in the back when we snuggle."

"Oh."

"Pretty much every shower at home ends cold at home in an attempt to not make you uncomfortable with my body reacting to you when we're so close."

Kurt moved his hand away and pulled it up and slid it up and propped up on his elbow to face Sebastian. He used his other hand to guide Sebastian's face towards him and kissed him. "I told you that I thought you were just joking to keep me off-center and on edge as a way to tease me. I'm sorry, Bas. I'm so sorry. That had to be really frustrating for me to rebuff all of your flirtatious behavior." He kissed him breathless.

Sebastian was breathing hard, but said, "Apology accepted. More kissing?"

Kurt smiled and kissed him again. He pulled back and ran his hand down Sebastian's cheek. He took a deep breath and let it out.

"What's got you so tense?"

"All of this is just amazingly complicated. I feel like I shouldn't feel the way I do."

"I'm sure once you tell me, I'll understand better, but I'm lost right now."

Do it. Say it. Tell him. He took another deep breath and kissed Sebastian gently once before speaking. "I know we've been dating for not quite two and a half weeks, but it feels like so much longer. Like nearly ever since I move into the apartment. I wasn't in love in Blaine anymore when I slept with him after the reception. And it felt good, of course, but it was different. I learned that I don't enjoy one-night stands. And I also became keenly aware of the fact that while I still loved Blaine, I wasn't in love with him anymore. I'm not really sure how to quit loving him. I still love Rachel as awful as she has been. But it's been since before Thanksgiving since I felt anything romantic or like I still wanted to be in a relationship with him. So, when I gave the ring back, I wasn't broken hearted like I was in October. I was really going to get back together with him because I just couldn't seem to envision a future where everyone in my life didn't point me back to him, like every future path had the two of us reuniting along it somewhere. But you made me see that I was Kurt Hummel, not Blaine's future partner. I had stood up for myself for years before Blaine came along." He mind flashed back to Whitney week. "I wasn't going to be nothing without him. I was still going to be me. You letting me live in your apartment free from the influence of others allowed me to see future paths that didn't involve me turning back into a doormat."

"You, Kurt Hummel, are no doormat or saltine. Not a chance." Sebastian pulled Kurt down a bit and kissed him.

"Thank you." He refocused. "Where was I? Staying in the apartment. That first weekend in April when you came to stay with. It felt like we were dating in a way. You took me to Central Park to watch the sunrise and you took me to the waterfalls. You made me dinner and we watched Downton Abbey. The next morning, you went to the flea market with me. If felt like a weekend of dates. You texted me all the time. You gave up the last of the time you had at Dalton with your friends to come to New York to spend time with me. You told me that you liked me, but I didn't know how to process that and instead of repeating it and flirting, you dialed the verbal part back and turned up the 'showing not telling'. Your actions showed how much you cared when my mind wouldn't allow me to accept your words."

Sebastian reached up and put his hand over the top of Kurt's and continued to listen.

"And as odd as it may sound, when you moved all of your stuff into my room this afternoon, it was like this final little nudge that you want to be part of my world, part of my life. Everyone else has wanted me to mold and change and fit into their world. You're not asking me to be someone else or change any part of myself. You merged our things together. It was this very slow revelation that been in the back of my mind, but I only just let myself believe today."

"What did you let yourself believe?"

"That despite the fact that we've officially only been together for a little over two weeks, I've been falling for you for months."

"Falling for me?" he asked quietly.

"I'm in love with you."

Sebastian lifted his head and kissed Kurt. "That is the best sentence I have ever heard."

Kurt smiled. "I'll understand if you don't feel the same. I know I fall hard and fast. I'm a passionate person. I don't do anything halfway. That was part of the hesitation I was trying to explain. I put my all into everything, and so when it doesn't work out, I get hurt more intensely."

"I know. Your passion is one of your very attractive traits. Along with your kindness and how forgiving you are, not that I would abuse either of those. And you were right about me wanting to be part of your life and wanting our lives to be intertwined. I'm not going to hold you back or keep you from having your own life. But at the end of the day, I've loved you coming home and just being together, even when we're doing different things."

"Me too. It's been really nice to have someone who cares about my life too. Over the last year, I've spent quite a bit of time living like my life was irrelevant. I became the sidekick whose life had no relevance to the main characters who were always the focus. But you don't do that." Kurt pressed several gentle kisses along Sebastian's jaw and then his lips. "You always make me feel important."

"That's because you are important to me. As for falling hard and fast, the day we shook hands in the Lima Bean," he chuckled. "I didn't want to let go of your hand. I wanted to you to be single. I wanted to somehow make you mine, but instead I acted out and behaved like a child." He sighed. "I had stop being a petty teenager, to grow up and become a person worthy of being in a relationship with a good man. I honestly didn't think I'd ever get a chance with you. I told you that I've never been good at opening up to people, but this spring I pushed through that so I could be close to you. I guess that's just a lot of nervous words to say that I'm in love with you too."

Kurt pushed up opened the blinds above the bed just a bit to let more of the moonlight in, and then rearranged himself so that he was straddling Sebastian's thighs. He reached for his hands and pulled him to sitting. He slipped his hand into Sebastian's hair, above his hairline in the back and cupped his face with the other. Still leaving some space between their chests, he pressed a soft kiss to Sebastian's lips. "I wanted to be able to see you better. I don't want to remember this in a foggy darkness that will make it feel not quite real."

Sebastian pulled Kurt nearly flush once he could. He let his hands rest on Kurt's lower back, not pushing past what Kurt had said he was comfortable with. He tipped his head back a bit so they were looking eye to eye. "I love you."

"And I love you." He used his leverage to push Sebastian back down on his back, which started him a bit. "Is this okay?" he asked as he leaned down to kiss Sebastian.

"More than okay, so much more."

Kurt slipped his hands under Sebastian's shoulders and put his weight on his elbows and began kissing Sebastian again.