Part 14 of 15 – DI Poole of The Met In Pursuit

Beach shack, visit #2

Ah, hovel sweet hovel. I'm still not going to lie down on that mattress! There's absolutely no telling who or what has been on it! But I'm so tired I could sleep standing up! Well, I can start by giving the place a damn good scrubbing! I wonder if there is any food under this roof that isn't crusted to a plate? Do I have time to call a taxi and get some groc…

A noise! I've got an intruder! I hope it's human and not something slithery and poisonous! A weapon! I need a weapon! This place may be a tip but it's MY tip and no one waltzes in here without my perm…

Ooooo, SHE'S pretty! Things are starting to look up around here! OK, Poole, just stay cool and everything will be OK. Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm, cor, what a pretty little chatterbox. The first friendly voice I've heard today! Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm, I could listen to her talk all night and… Oh no! Not the female waterworks! Why do women cry so much? Why can't they just suppress it and get ulcers like the rest of us? Well, that's the last of the tissues and I've only got the one handkerchief so I… gosh, she smells nice, not at all 'Eau du Compost', more like sunshine and night flowers and…

What?! She's MY cleaner?! MINE? Mine as in… mine? Well, yeah, I've got something you can tidy up… oh, stop it, Poole, you sound like Doug Anderson, the swine, and that's never a good thing. Come on, don't let the jet lag get to you. Someone this beautiful and sweet isn't for you. This is no time for daydreams! She's a distraction and immaterial to the case. Send her on her way and get back on track!

Oooo, what a lovely little chassis! I wouldn't mind going once or twice around the block with that! And the little scooter is nice too… OH, stop it! Get a grip, man! Wrench your mind out of the gutter and back onto the case where it belongs. Better yet, get some sleep before you fall over in a dead faint.

But… maybe after… after the case is solved and before I go home? Maybe I could ask her out for drinks? Do they do drinks down here? Probably not and there's no way I'm pounding down bootleg rum, lighting a fire, and dancing naked on the beach… although… mmmmmmmm… NO! What am I thinking? No, no, no, no, not going to happen! I will solve this case and leave! No time for… for… anything else.

I'm seeing things. There is NO way I just had a face-to-face with a reptile and there is absolutely no way it was trying to speak to me! I'm exhausted and I'm going to bed now, dirty linens or no dirty linens. Surely I can wash up and find some half-clean towels to lie on top of? Wait, what's this smell? I recognize this stink! Oh, ho! Seems I'm not done with you YET, yer ladyship! I now have a date with YOU tomorrow… and you're not going to enjoy it! Not one little bit!

Next morning, the Station

Well, Dwayne is proving useful. I guess he's my 'ears to the ground' officer. And I like puzzles but three bags of shards? Who needs such a huge vase? And why? Oh, who cares, here's a REAL puzzle for me to piece together. Do they sell glue here?

The estate again

OK, now I'm getting somewhere! A cheating wife. A cuckolding Chief of Police investigating the husband. Nasty but not unexpected. And the BOOK was in the safe! Aha! I knew the book was important even if everyone else sniffed at the idea. The Poole instincts are as sharp as ever!

And now I know no one heard the shot that killed Charlie. It was a louder gun that has conveniently gone missing. Oh, yeah, this case is heating up, throwing up all these little inconsequential clues that I love to weave together. Lily is trying to wrap it all up with a pretty bow but I've got my own ideas. I'm on the scent now and I refuse to be distracted.

Beach shack, visit #3

I guess I wasn't hallucinating last night, there goes that reptile again. Was it looking at me? Weird. And why is Lily suddenly being so nice? She's smiling, she's talking, she wants to go for a stroll. A stroll? On the beach? Well, why not, my shoes are full of Salcombe sand so I might as well add some of my own.

Oh! She wants to hear about London? Do I tell her how much I miss it? How much it hurts to be here instead of there? Ah, my snug… what happy memories… the snow, the cold, the fire, that first sip...

Alone? She wants to know if I'm ALONE? Well… yes… of course I'm alone… because… well… because I have absolutely no one to share it with! Oh, thank you so very much for pointing that out, Lily! AND she's still smiling. Grinning, really. I think she did that on purpose! OK, I'm done here. I'll send her on her way and I'll go back to my place and be…

… alone… alone… why am I always so alone? Maybe I could call up that cute little cleaner and… no, best not, I won't be here long enough to convince her to go to drinks with me. Besides, I have a big chore to do tonight... plus I never got her name or number… damn.

Next day, the key

Charlie, you tosser, who hides a key in the shower head? Every copper knows you hide it in the soap. But, of course, even with the removal of the key, the water pressure is still in the minus range. I'd get cleaner faster if I just stood out in the rain! God, wouldn't THAT look great on my Performance Review?

And here it is! A safety deposit box full of incriminating evidence! I've hit the mother lode! I should have this wrapped by tonight and be on the first plane home tomorrow. Ah, England, your siren call beckons. Nothing will distract me from returning to you. Nothing!

End – Part 14