HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
This chapter is dedicated to BusGrunts & EmeraldElephant! I really appreciate everyone's reviews and questions - and thank you all so much for reading and following my stories! Have a VERY happy New Year!
Once again, this really isn't a bashing fic, I promise!
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. I will take advice and suggestions from my readers' reviews!
Thinking
Biju, etc. speaking
Biju, etc. thinking
Emphasis
Sai thought about Uzumaki's use of nicknames as he sat in his room. Pinkie and Bastard were very appropriate, indeed. Was having a nickname a sign of friendship or camaraderie? If so, he would like one of his own… However, one couldn't be sure if he was correct in his assumptions. He headed to the shinobi library to see if more information was available on the subject.
In the forest, an entirely different scene was taking place. "Uzumaki, I need to speak with you." Sasuke turned, expecting that she would follow. The idiot was just sitting there, looking confused. "Now. Come with me." Naruto stood up, wondering what the Bastard's problem was now. She never would have guessed what he would actually say, or what would happen next.
Kakashi carried his kohai over his shoulder into the Hokage's office for the scheduled Jonin meeting that was to take place in an hour. He jumped in through the window, knowing that it annoyed the Sandaime to no end, and gave him a smile. He gave a sloppy salute; "Yo!"
"Jonin Hatake," the Sandaime began after taking an exasperated sigh. "I would once again remind you that I do have a DOOR, but it seems that you have brought me a present, ne Tenzo-kun?"
Kakashi turned around to show off his Win. Tenzo looked up tiredly and greeted his leader politely, then let his head fall back down close to Kakashi's ass. He was in too much pain and too exhausted to care. His senpai threw him on the main couch in the room on his back, which didn't help anything. He could only moan.
"I suppose the village is burning down?" The Sandaime asked, still completing paperwork, "After all, you're here early, Kakashi-kun." He raised his eyes and one eyebrow at the silver-haired Jonin who only shrugged his shoulders in response. Hiruzen watched the brat knock Tenzo-kun's legs off the couch, then flop into it, before pulling out their beloved book. "Do I even want to know?"
"NO!" Tenzo answered frustratingly as Kakashi said with amusement coloring his tone, "Wait 'til the others are here. Like always, ne?" He had been doing this "testing Genin teams" bullshit for the past four years after all. He went back to reading his precious book, thinking about his little wife's clone's meaning of "Butt stuff." Some of his musings on the subject made him eager, while others were a little frightening.
I'm really, way too old for this shit! Hiruzen picked up his pipe again and decided to ignore the elite pains-in-the-ass in front of him, at least until the other Jonin-senseis arrived to report.
Naruto arrived just outside of Team Ten's training ground, a wounded Sasuke unconscious on her back. She was glad Shika was there - he always made her feel better, which was why she came here first - but walking up to the team, she couldn't help but wonder what was going on. Ino-chan was puking behind a tree; Choji looked miserable and there were no chips in sight, while Shikamaru sat looking absolutely at peace with the world. Asuma took a drag off his cigarette, and then she saw Shikamaru do the same. Ah: that's why Shika looks so peaceful.
Shikamaru absently looked in her direction and shot to his feet. "What the hell happened to your clothes, and what… what? WHY would you bring him here?!" Naruto threw Sasuke's limp form to the ground and Ino screamed. Naruto groaned and bent over in a bit of exhaustion, while Shikamaru covered her naked shoulders with his Clan vest. Before she even realized that Asuma had made a clone, she was hauled over his shoulder and found herself in the Hokage's window.
Kakashi looked over to see his friend Asuma Sarutobi in his father's window and jumped. There were a very nice ass and legs hanging from his old friend's shoulder, and he'd been staring at those enough to know whom exactly they belonged to. Asuma sat the blonde down on the ground and Kakashi felt a heart attack coming on as he took in her appearance. The Hokage was already in front of the blonde before he reached her, putting his robes over her nearly half-naked form. While the Sandaime began to grill his son on what had just transpired, Kakashi brought his wife into the corner, flung off the Hokage's robes, then the Nara vest she wore on the floor and draped his Jonin vest over his wife's naked shoulders backward. Seeing that it looked nearly comically huge on her and that he could see straight into the armholes, he grabbed the Hokage's robes and pulled them around her. He nearly snarled at the idea of her being like this in front of others, as well as the other males' scents on her - even if it was the geezer - but controlled himself as he pulled the robes away again to privately and carefully looked over her healing skin.
Her legs were the same tan, but parts of her exposed flesh were pink. He watched as what now looked like scratches mended themselves and was blown away by her healing ability. More importantly, however, he was internally raging over the idea of his little wife being attacked. The Hokage was now at his side and this time he did snarl at the man for getting near his woman. Seeing Kurenai looking at him warily, he pulled himself together, also pulling his arms away from his Naruto. Tenzo was saying something, and Asuma was arguing with him, but Kakashi couldn't force himself to care what was going on. Naruto nearly fell over and he caught her, glaring at the Hokage who tried to catch her, too.
The Hokage sighed. What was I thinking? Now I've got Sakumo 2.0 to deal with. "Put her on the side couch, Kakashi-kun."
"I should take her to the hospital, Sandaime-sama," Kakashi replied, holding his wife in his arms. The old man shook his head sadly at him.
"No one there at this time will treat her well, or perhaps see her at all. I have seen her in far more deplorable conditions, and can tell you confidently that she will be fine." Kurenai gasped in shock at such a terrible thing, while Asuma started to speak. Kakashi had just laid his little wife down, when she whipped two Shuriken at the corners of the room, where two previously unknown men had been hidden. He looked down on his wife who was now covered by the Hokage's robes.
She pointed at herself tiredly and said, "Sensor."
The Jonin-sensei unmasked the men and realized at once that they were ROOT. "Are there any more you can detect, Naru-chan?" The Hokage asked his recently-wounded granddaughter.
Naru shook her head. "Negative. I wouldn't be surprised if they had listening devices planted though, JiJi - especially if they were bold enough to hide two actual dudes in here, ne? Crap: my hair!" Looking at the burned off ends of her long hair, she pouted. Hiruzen called in ANBU to take the ROOT fools away to Ibiki and Anko in T&I.
"It's not a biggie, hime," Kakashi said, concern coloring his soft tone. He stood on top of the couch Tenzo was laying on. "Prepare yourselves." He used his primary affinity to send electricity into the ceiling and several devices fizzled out, two dropping to the floor. "Unbelievable," he said darkly, doing the same to the Hokage's desk and floor, taking out even more devices that were intended to listen in on the Hokage's private conversations and orders.
Kurenai bent down to the blonde, offering a sympathetic smile. She assured the unknown kunoichi that her hair would be fine - that she could even help her with it while wondering who exactly she was. She'd heard that "Naru" was her name, and more bizarrely heard Kakashi, of all people, refer to her as "Princess." Asuma had occasionally referred to his difficult, rambunctious niece by that same name, but she looked nothing like Asuma or his father. When the realization came crashing down on her she knew: the girl's blonde hair and blue eyes were exactly the same as the man in the picture above her. She really is a Princess! The Yondaime's daughter: Kami, I never knew!
But wasn't this also the young woman that she and Asuma had seen out on a date with her colleague: the open smut-reader? Would Asuma allow such a thing?!
"Why did you attack the Uchiha, Naru-chan?" Seeing the girl sit up and glare at her grandfather-figure, he rephrased his question. "What caused you and the Uchiha to fight?"
"That… Bastard has some really weird ideas, Old Man." She shook her head as she gripped his robes tighter to cover her body. "That asshole was right in front of me when he did a fire jutsu!" Her eyes welled up with tears but she pushed them away. It was made easier as Kakashi sat down beside her - too far away for her taste, but at least he was there, putting his arm close to her shoulder, but not around it. She shook her head furiously. "I should have stopped his hand signs… I mean, I was right THERE!" Part of her hated herself for not reacting as she should have. It made her feel weak.
"How close were you to him at the time?"
"Right in front of him, JiJi. A foot - or maybe two at most?" Everyone in the room froze, even Tenzo sat up, looking at her from his rigid stance. This meant there was little doubt if what she said was true: the Uchiha had been trying to assassinate her! "I just didn't expect it - even after what he said…"
"You put the hurt on him, Hime, so kudos on that," Asuma reassured. Naruto shrugged her shoulders. Even though Sasuke would probably be in the hospital for awhile - he would need some serious intervention to get that ear all the way back on if nothing else - she felt no vindication. How could the Bastard think that about me? How could he do this already?! No curse mark! No cause! Just a terribly misguided belief…
"We will have a terrible problem with the council now. As if things weren't bad enough…" The Sandaime said bitterly as he sat back down at his desk.
"I was defending myself! He would've killed me! He WANTS to kill me - or he 'will after I bear his children!' What the hell is that about?! I am supposed to be his comrade! I even reminded him - even after his fireball jutsu about being teammates, and relying on each other, and…"
"Naruto-chan, I understand. But you also are aware of the council's former orders, as they pertain to you," the Hokage argued, giving her a face that she'd so many times in both lifetimes: watch your words was what he implied in his warning expression.
"I'll never consent," Naruto said darkly. "Never," she said at the same time Kakashi did. That helped her relax a bit. But the Bastard just tried to kill her! She shook all over in anger. "He doesn't even know about the masked man!"
"No more, Naruto," The Hokage warned. Great: did he still think it was a great idea for some unknown reason to keep the truth from Itachi's last family member?! "What made him go after you? You've said he spoke to you, ne?" Naruto sulkily nodded her head.
"He accused me of being an accomplice or something, to the massacre of his clan." She shook her head in disbelief, ignoring the gasps of shock around her. She chuckled grimly, "He's got this idea in his head that Itachi's obsessed with me, that he said something about me in the genjutsu his brother put him under that night." Flopping her head back against the couch, she continued. "After I punched him in the gut, I tried to get him to clarify - or just find out whether or not he was completely insane - but he's CONVINCED! I even told him that Itachi was the one to save me that night…" She ignored her name being said by her leader in a warning. What the hell was she supposed to do? This was her former rival, her one-time best friend! What had happened to change things? And Itachi being obsessed with me? That's insane!
Itachi had been her ANBU-assigned guard in her first lifetime - the life she remembered fully - and he was great back then! He wasn't obsessed or anything like it... He simply encouraged her to avoid Icha-Icha and brought books from his compound and helped her better learn how to read. That's all she could remember. Why has so much CHANGED?
It really has, too. During her first life, she didn't think she had ever even heard of Shisui Uchiha until after Itachi had died - and then had only heard about his body flicker technique and Super-Sharingan eye that Itachi forced into her mouth! This time? She couldn't say she actually remembered the man, but she knew what he looked like, she was sure. She could even at times get a vision in her mind of a rather goofy, wavy-haired Uchiha - and wasn't that weird(?) - smiling at her! Kurama recognized his eyes - even without his dojutsu activated - so she knew she wasn't crazy and that the face she remembered from at some point in this lifetime was really him. Ugh.
Naruto was so focused on her thoughts and the craziness that had just occurred, she let out a squeal when Kakashi quickly picked her up and sunshinned them away. She held her arms over her chest, as sometime during the whole thing, she'd lost the Hokage's robes that covered her, and only now had on Kakashi's vest. As soon as they were through their front door, Kakashi stripped her of it. She was completely shocked and bewildered as the man looked over her entire body carefully, then began SNIFFING her! "Go take a shower - I want those scents off you. I have to go back, the pack will look after you. I - I promise to introduce you properly to them later. Do what I've said, now." Naruto could only nod stupidly as Kakashi summoned his pack. She was standing there, holding her arms over her bare breasts again as Kakashi opened the door to let himself out.
"What the hell?!"
"So you're the little bitch, -er, wife, ne?" The smallest dog - and leader of Kakashi's ninken, she knew from her past life - gave her an eager sniff. "You smell familiar, ne guys?" She was surrounded by eight sniffing ninken. "Welcome to the pack! I'm Pakkun," the pug looked her up and down, and she could swear he looked like a little pervert as he smiled up at her still holding her boobs so they'd see less. "Look, boys! Puppies may be on the way sooner than we thought!" Naruto was so embarrassed and raced upstairs to shower, making groaning noises of embarrassment all the way.
Back in the Tower, the Jonin were now discussing whether or not the teams passed their genin tests. Gai had arrived for who-knows-what-reason as Kakashi sat down, mind on what had happened between his wife and the Uchiha punk. "Uzumaki's a monster…" Tenzo's words brought Kakashi back to the task at hand. He slapped the back of Tenzo's head. Talk about my wife like that again, and I'll show you what a monster is, you punk!
"Senpai!" Tenzo rubbed the back of his head. "Oh! I didn't mean it like THAT! I meant more that she's - or she will be a monster of a ninja!" Kakashi-Taicho was glaring at him but he continued. "She's not genin-level, that's definitive, Hokage-sama." Kakashi nodded in agreement. "I would estimate her current level at high-Chunin or maybe Tokubetsu Jonin, and of course her reserves are Kage-level. The ROOT kid, Sai-kun, is also easily chunin level, but that was to be expected."
"I am well aware. I suppose you have similar findings from one of your own, Asuma?" The Sandaime asked with a slight smile.
"Hai. Shikamaru-kun's definitely well above genin level." Asuma shook his head, taking a drag from his cigarette, then looked at the ceiling, remembering their test. They were supposed to each grab a cig from him, but they completed that task way too easily, so he made them each smoke one after being held in Nara's shadows. He chuckled to himself, really hoping that news didn't get out. No doubt their father's would… Oh shit! He realized at once that it was the kids' mothers that he really needed to watch out for now. "Choji-kun did very well, too. I didn't think his taijutsu and clan techniques would be as developed as what I saw today. He does hesitate, and we'll have to work on that." He's such a great kid… "And Ino-chan," he shook his head but smiled. "Smart, bossy as hell, and needs a lot of work. I wish I'd seen more of what they can do. They got that the test was about teamwork right off the bat... Shika-brat caught me in a shadow before I even moved!" He thought about how his team mowed him down with Choji's Human Bullet Tank, and Ino-chan was suddenly in his head, forcing him to toss his entire cigarette pack out onto the grass. He was able to shake her off, but the boys continued attacking him while laughing afterward. Brats!
Kurenai's team had passed as well, and she had overwhelmingly positive things to say about the members of her new team: the first team she had ever been assigned. The Sandaime asked specific questions about each member of her team, making her more fully realize that there were things that each member needed to work on. Kiba was an awesome fighter for his age, but needed help strategizing if he really wanted to be Hokage - and just to better assist and work with his comrades. Shy little Hinata-chan really needed to come out of her shell, and perhaps she could assist her in developing genjutsu abilities. She also decided to meet with Hiashi-dono to discuss the girl's developing Jyuuken training. Shino-kun was actually quite adept in taijutsu, better than she had expected, and the more they discussed what could be done for each member of her team, the more determined she became to force the young Aburame into taking up genjutsu seriously. Perhaps his entire clan would consider doing the same if I'm successful! The Aburames had to have perfect chakra control to house their insects, so they should pick up the art she'd mastered quite easily. At the end of their discussion, the Hokage seemed happy. Kakashi spoke up.
"Team 7 passed, but primarily because of Naruto-chan and Sai-kun. Naru-chan saw through the meaning of the exercise before it began - the cheeky brat - and I wouldn't doubt that Sai-kun was briefed on it beforehand. They obviously took on my little kohai here," he slapped Tenzo on the shoulder, making him wince and moan in pain, "and kicked his additional-training needed ass!" Kurenai's eyebrows went up and Asuma laughed as the Hokage pulled down his hat to hide his grin.
"I was holding back! They're supposed to be newly-minted genin!" the youngest Jonin in the room whined.
"Maa, you were actually using Mokuton and getting your wooden butt handed to you, Tenzo-kun!" Tenzo grumbled and tried to hide his face. "From what I saw with the Uchiha, he's no Itachi." He shook his head as everyone sat up straight. "And now that he's attacked Naruto…" The Sandaime held up his hand, his face serious.
"He's been coddled by merchants and treated like a prince by members of the civilian council and even some shinobi." He took a deeply agitated breath. "I've even heard of him referred to as 'Uchiha-sama' or 'Uchiha-dono': as an Academy student!" Stifled groans were heard around the room, as well as Gai's oddly subdued mention of that being unyouthful. "Unfortunately I do not have the votes to stop him from being a shinobi." The Sandaime saw Kakashi's glare, as well as two others, shaking their heads at him in disappointment. Where the heck is Minato when I need him? Right: in the Shinigami's stomach, avoiding paperwork and this crap. "Kakashi-kun, you are the only shinobi in the village that can train him in the use of his Sharingan…" He saw the man's silver upright hair actually moving through the air, he shook his head so hard. He supposed he should be glad the brat didn't try to use his borrowed Sharingan on him. He dismissed everyone aside from Kakashi, but not before mentioning that the chunin exam was coming up in two months' time.
Waiting until everyone had exited, Asuma held back. "Alright, Bakahataki, tell me what's going on between you and my little niece. Now." Kakashi looked to the Sandaime who nodded at him to do so, and warily began the tale regarding Minato-sensei's daughter becoming his wife.
"Sorry I left you all to go get changed," Naruto bowed after coming downstairs to address her husband's ninken.
"No, no…. I have been reminded of human manners! I am Pakkun, and this is Bull;" he nodded toward the huge bulldog, who grinned up at her with his big teeth. Continuing his introductions, he pointed each ninken out, one by one. "This is Urushi, Shiba, Bisuke, Akino, Uhei, and Guruko. Once again, welcome to the pack, Naruto-hime." Pakkun bowed toward the woman that was to henceforward be the Alpha Bitch in charge. She definitely felt like an Alpha - seems Boss has chosen well. Through his barks, Uhei told him that she wasn't to be called as such, though - at least for now. Bull barked something, too, before Akino agreed and sniffed the female again. "You do smell familiar, hime!" The other ninken once again surrounded her, sniffing as they did so, then agreeing.
"I'm not sure what to say to that - but thank you for introducing yourselves! No need to call me "Hime," though. I'd be more than happy if you called me 'Naruto,' ne?"
Pakkun gave her a questioning look. Something about her was extraordinarily familiar, even if she was Minato and Kushina's pup… there was something else about her that just seemed like home. Like Kakashi! "Would you like to feel my paw?"
"Uh, sure! That would be great!" Naruto smiled. Wow: it's even softer than I remembered!
For some reason, everything became clear in Pakkun's mind. He looked at his pack and saw the excited look on their faces: yes - they knew it too! Boss has chosen well! It was just a matter of time. The chosen one, indeed...
