This is hard. A lot harder than I thought it would be. When the tabloids lied about Josh and Amy, it sucked, but it only lasted a few weeks, and didn't go beyond the U.S. This lie about Matt has a life of its own and the whole world is tuned in.

Over the last four weeks I've watched Helen go through every emotion. Anger over the accusations against her husband. Worry about how it's affecting her children, crying as she wonders if she should take them out of their schools or if that will make the pressure worse. Caution over every word and action we take due to the constant scrutiny and speculation about her position in all this.

But I've seen their family grow stronger. I've watched Peter stand tall, pitching in to help however he can, and reassuring his parents that he loves them and trusts them. It's quite remarkable from a teenager. I have to confess, I really hope this thing with Carly works out so that our families are tied together forever. Miranda seems sweeter and quieter, watching her parents carefully, and jumping in with hugs and kisses, and funny little remarks at just the right moment.

And I couldn't be prouder of Matt. In public he embodies the Presidency. Steadfastly doing his job, while also patiently denying every accusation that is thrown his way. Behind the scenes he's not diminished either. He regularly thanks his staff for their service and reminds us that we've all been called to the greater good. And in private, he holds his wife a few extra minutes and watches her with obvious love and admiration.

The best thing I've seen has been Helen's laughter. From light chuckles to deep full belly guffaws depending on how tickling she finds the latest outrageous allegation. Our polling numbers got a little jolt when she laughed, a real joyous laugh, during a live interview when a reporter suggested that she was just "standing by her man" because she's as addicted to the power as he is.

When it happened I was afraid it would hurt us, but at the same time I was excited to see the moment when the switch flipped for Helen. I could just tell that right then she realized that the worst case scenario just meant she got to go home to Houston four years earlier. I have no doubt she wants to win. But losing won't be that much of a punishment for trying to do the right thing.

The host smiled too and gave a quick laugh, then Helen took a breath and explained that they were just trying to change the world, and that two years of free community college would provide opportunities for a whole generation. She was brilliant.

One thing I haven't seen this entire time is any waver in her complete, absolute trust in Matt. Even when the old rumors were recycled. Even when they went back to calling him Hurricane Santos. Even when reporters revisit the question of Sophia's parentage. Even when the tabloids jump the shark and suggest that maybe Miranda isn't even hers.

No matter what they throw at her, she and Matt are a team.

We've done Dateline, and 60 Minutes, and Oprah, and 20/20 and MorningJoe. We've sat down with every evening news anchor and every networks' morning program.

I don't know, maybe we're feeding the beast too much for this thing to go away.

But the polling tells us that this really is what the election is about now.

It's a virtual tie when, as the incumbent with a good record, Matt should be miles ahead. It's so rare for the incumbent to lose, I can't help but wonder what it will do to Josh if that happens.

He'll totally blame himself, even though it's not his fault. He couldn't have seen this coming and even if he did, what could he do about it?

That's part of the problem too. For almost a month Josh has been frantically trying to figure out how to solve this. He's left Amy and Lou to run the campaign, although he's still a part of every strategy meeting. And he's still fulfilling all his duties as Chief of Staff, with Sam helping to carry that load, thank god. But between all that he's spending every spare moment trying to think of the missing piece of the puzzle. Even though he knows deep down that he's not going to find the needle in the haystack just by thinking about it.

That's why he's got investigators looking for any shred of evidence that will unravel this web of lies. How can it be so hard to prove the truth?

Every day that goes by without anything more than Matt and Helen's firm denials, more people believe that they are just typical, lying cheating politicians.

And in spite of their generally good attitudes, I know that's got to be killing them. They aren't those people. They've tried so hard to be a new breed of public servant. To truly represent the average American, who comes from the working class and who didn't go to Ivy League schools.

Matt wanted this campaign to be about what he's done in the last four years, and what he is going to do to make this a better America, and a better world, for all of us. He didn't want it to be a referendum on his personal life or his integrity or his wife's loyalty. But here we are.

So every moment that we're out here, we're battling for a chance to talk about our accomplishments and our agenda. About the things that matter. And every day, we have to answer the questions-

"If the story is a lie why can't you prove it? Why haven't you sued the Newspaper for libel? Why haven't you sued Susan Rodriegez for defamation?"

Those questions roll through my mind every night as I try to sleep in a strange bed in another hotel.

They roll through my mind even as I wonder if Lulu is going to remember how much time I've been away this month.

They roll through my mind as I glance at the clock and wonder if Josh is still up at 2:37 too.

. . . . . .

"Good morning, Donna!" Helen greets me happily as I walk into the sitting room of her suite.

This is the last day of this tour and it's nice to see that she's still in a in a good mood. It makes everything a little easier.

"Good morning. Ready to go over today's details?" I ask as I pour myself some coffee and take a seat.

"Yes, as long as the agenda still ends with us home in our own beds tonight." She quips.

"You know it." I couldn't agree more. I need some time at home. I need to be held by my husband. I need to play with my daughter. I need to eat food made in my own kitchen.

"Where are we again?" She jokes half-heartedly. "Michigan?"

"Actually, no."

Helen laughs and wrinkles up her nose. "Was I close?"

"Yes. We flew into Selfridge Air National Guard base yesterday. We did that event in Dearborn, then we drove to Toledo."

"It's coming back to me."

"That's just across the border, in Ohio. We had that photo op. Then we drove to Cleveland. We're meeting grassroots organizations at the Cuyahoga Community College Rec Center in an hour. Talk up Matt's plan for free community college and pump them up to go get out the vote. Then it's 2 hours on the bus to Pittsburgh. There we have a symposium on environmental issues and manufacturing. That'll be a hootenanny."

"A hootenanny, Donna? Really?"

"Yes, ma'am." I give her a little sass, earning a quick smile along with a raised eyebrow. "We'll probably make a quick stop in Youngstown on the way, an unscheduled meet and greet."

"Okay."

"After the symposium, we'll head to Philadelphia where you're speaking at the Constitution Center commemorating the 19th amendment."

"Am I wearing a "Votes for Women" sash or a yellow rose?"

"No, you are not. I considered a yellow suit, but honestly, you don't look good in yellow."

"DONNA!"

"I don't look good in yellow either. The curse of being blonde. It's really a shame, because it's a nice sunny color. Good vibes with yellow clothes, but not if it makes you look jaundiced."

"Donna."

"Yeah?"

"You got a little off track there."

"Sorry about that."

"It's fine. I want a cheese steak."

"Right now?"

"No, but tonight in Philadelphia."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. I have a bet with Matt."

"You have a bet with Matt?"

'Yes."

"Do I want to know?"

Her face morphs into a half smirk. "Probably not."

"Okay then, your wish is my command, but we should probably get going."

"Okay."

As she's putting her suit jacket on, I shake my head. I really don't want to know, but I wish there was a way that I could let America see what I see. If they could just see this couple behind the scenes, they see that they are so in love. There is no way Matt cheated on her.

. . . . . .

It's after midnight when I slip through the front door. I'm sure Josh is still awake, but Sylvia and Lulu should be sound asleep. Dropping my garment bag silently and slipping my shoes off so that I can pad through the house quietly, I make my way straight to our bedroom.

Josh is in bed squinting intently at his laptop. I really need to get him into the opthalmologist. I think he needs glasses. A second later his brow furrows, then he jots something down on a legal pad. I bet anything he's trying to unravel the scandal. He's desperate to clear Matt's good name.

"Hey." I whisper, trying not to startle him.

"Oh! Thank god you're home!" His face breaks into a giant grin as he shifts the laptop to the side and leaps out of the bed, scattering papers in his wake. "I've missed you so much!"

He pulls me close to him, planting a kiss on my mouth before wrapping his arms tightly around me.

I drop my head to his shoulder and just rest a moment, enjoying the feeling of being enveloped in him. Most of the time when we reunite without an audience there's an explosion of passionate fireworks, but right now I need this feeling of security more.

As I let out a shuddering breath, he squeezes me a little tighter. "You alright?"

I can hear the concern in his question.

"Yeah. It was just a long few days. I didn't realize how much I needed you to hold me like this until just now."

"Okay."

We stand in silence for a few minutes before I pull away.

"I thought campaigning was going to be more fun this time, you know? Like how much fun we had on Jed's first campaign, except better because this time we could have sex!"

He smirks and chuckles. "Yeah, I was looking forward to that too."

"I mean, the primary trip to California was fun, but that feels like a million years ago!"

"It was only a couple months ago." Josh responds before taking my face in his hands and kissing me deeply. When he stops his eyes are smoldering. "I think it started something like that, right?"

He doesn't give me a chance to answer before he kisses me again, this time his hands push my jacket off my shoulders before starting on the buttons of my blouse.

"And I think you were wearing less clothing," he murmurs when he comes up for air.

"I was wearing a cocktail dress."

"Not once we got back to the room. Once we got back to the room, I got you naked as quickly as possible." He insists, slipping the shirt down my arms and letting it fall to the floor. Then he skims back up my sides and cups my breasts, his thumbs rubbing my nipples through the lace of my bra.

My head starts to spin. God, I want him so much.

"Should I do that again?" He whispers hotly into my ear as he traces the shell of it with his tongue. "Should I get you naked as quickly as possible and we can pretend this is a hotel room?"

But before I can answer, his hands are working at the hooks at my back, unfastening the band and pulling at the straps, even while his mouth is nibbling his way down my neck.

My heart is beating rapidly as his fingers twist and roll my nipples, shooting sparks straight to my core. Josh sucks on the pulse point next to my collar bone as I tremble.

"Is this what you want, Donna?" He rumbles lowly as his hands slide down to the waistband of my slacks.

All I can do is whine helplessly, "Yes, Josh, please."

. . . . . .

Waking up in my own bed feels terrific. I'm a little disappointed but not completely surprised that Josh isn't in bed with me. Last night was a fantastic welcome home. I don't need to have him still next to me to know that he missed me. And I've known for a long time that he just doesn't need as much sleep as I do.

Sure enough, when I make my way out into the living room, I find him at the dining table working away.

"Morning." I whisper leaning down to kiss him. He pulls me into his lap, so I wiggle my backside against his groin a little just to hear him hiss.

"You're evil." He quickly informs me.

"Come back to bed and I'll show you just how bad I can be."

He groans. "I'd love that except for the fact that my Mother is probably just about done in the shower and our daughter is going to wake up any minute."

"Saboteurs!" I jest, just as Sylvia enters the room.

"Donna! You're home!" She greets me happily. I'm not embarrassed to have her find me on Josh's lap in my pajamas, but I hope she didn't hear me accusing her of invading our privacy, I was just kidding and I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings.

"That's got to be it." Josh insists, going back to his work. "I just have to figure this out."

"What are you going on about, dear?" Sylvia asks him as she gives me a quick hug.

"I'm going to make us all a nice breakfast." She continues without expecting a response from Josh, who is completely focused on his computer.

"What is that?" I inquire, noticing the spreadsheet he has open on the screen.

"Data. We are cross checking each of the dates of each of the alleged rendezvous with everyone on the trip, and everyone who had access to itineraries in advance, and everyone involved with how guest lists were compiled, and of course everyone on the guest lists, everything we can possibly think of, looking for some pattern or something to unlock this."

"I thought you were leaving this to the private investigators?"

"They are investigating. They're the ones who put this together- but we don't have enough time for me to sit by and wait! If I can at least point them in the right direction maybe they'll be able to find something. It's like you just said- I know it's sabotage. I just have to prove it!"

By the time he's done with his rant his voice is high and his eyes are frantic. This is how he gets when I'm away. But I'm here now and I'm not going to let him take this on alone. I rub his arm gently and I can see him relax a little.

"Okay what have you got?"

"I've got nothing!" He whines but less forcefully. Then he takes a deep breath, rubbing his hands through his hair in frustration.

I quickly smooth it back down. "Not true. You've got data, and you've got an incredible brain. Something is going to come to you. I have faith in you and I'll help you."

He meets my eyes and gives me a tentative smile. "Thanks. I'm always better with you."

"Da-dee! Bubbe!" Lulu calls from her room, breaking our moment.

"Go on." Josh tells me, pushing me off his lap. "She'll be so excited to see you."

I'm so ready to see her too. When I open her door and peek inside, Lulu's face lights up.

"Mama! Mama! Mama!" Her voice gets increasingly louder and higher, just like her Daddy.

"Hi pumpkin!"

"Mama you home!" Lulu bounces in her crib until I lift her out and then she clings to me. Ah. Now I feel complete. As good as this moment feels, it's also a bit bittersweet. I love my work. And I love coming home to this kind of welcome. But is it fair to her? I hope when she's older she understands.

After a full minute Lulu squirms to get down. "Potty, Mama."

"Right." I put her on her feet and she runs out of the room. While she's gone, I glance around the room and notice that the outfit I ordered a few days ago is hanging in the closet. The argyle sweater dress will be perfect for today, plus the owl barrettes have matching undies. Lulu will love it. I'm glad Josh left it for me to put on her for the first time. I really do love dressing her up.

"Good Morning, Daddy!" I hear Lulu yell as she runs from the bathroom through the living room to the kitchen. "Bubbe! I'm hungry!"

Leaving the clothes for after breakfast, I rejoin Josh at the table where he's furiously writing something on a legal pad.

"How's it going?"

"The Earth is rotating rapidly on its axis."