Chapter 29
"Okay Will, you won't know what an airplane is but...imagine one is flying towards you right now. Nnnneeoooow." Michael made his best plane noise as he flew the spoon of baby food towards Will's lips. The child, who was perched on the kitchen table, refused to open his mouth. Michael sighed. "I don't blame you, kid." He sniffed the unappetising spoonful of mulch and wrinkled his nose in disgust. "This is grim."
He turned around as Alicia came through the door in her old uniform, her hair up high as it used to be. It looked like she'd never been away.
Wash smirked slightly, noticing him staring. "What?" she said self-consciously.
"Nothing. You just look...like yourself." He turned back towards Will and tickled his tummy. Will squealed, causing Michael to laugh. "How was your shift?"
"It was good, actually. A little weird. But good."
Michael stood, holding Will on his hip. He was getting used to carrying the little guy around. "Good. Uh, I've been meaning to talk to you. I volunteered to go on the hunt tomorrow. To kill this dinosaur…" He trailed off when he saw Alicia's expression. She seemed surprised.
"You volunteered?"
"Yeah." He looked confused. "Does that bother you?"
She stared at him. "Don't you think we should have discussed it first? I mean, we're a family now, aren't we?"
Michael readjusted Will on his hip, the baby seemed to be getting heavier and heavier. "Uh. I'm sorry. I didn't think we needed to."
She seemed annoyed. "This is serious, Michael. You could get hurt out there! You need to discuss these things with me first."
Again, Michael struggled to keep hold of Will until Alicia sighed and decided to take the baby from him. Now he was childless, he could let his own frustration out. "You mean the way you discussed it with me before you ran off and sacrificed yourself to let the Shannons escape," he said sarcastically, remembering his confusion as she kissed him goodbye and ran off to get caught by Lucas' men.
She rolled her eyes. "That was different."
"How?"
"We have a baby now for one thing! What if you were killed? You'd deprive William of having a father?"
Her raised voice upset Will, so she took him over to the bedroom and placed him in his crib. Michael watched her close the door so he wouldn't hear their argument.
"Of course I wouldn't want that to happen!" he insisted, trying not to yell. "I just...didn't think."
"You need to start thinking," she said. "I need you, Michael. I need to know we can do this."
He stared at her for a moment, watching her unravel. Her eyes were alight with fear and anger. She was tense. He thought back on all the moments that led them here, all the break ups and make ups, all the fights and one night stands. He loved her, but he remembered never being sure she felt the same, until that night when Lucas had the gun pointed at her forehead. I love you. It was on her lips, before she fell. But now he didn't know if she really meant it.
"Alicia, is this what you want?"
She softened. "What?"
He shrugged. "Do you love me? Now there's not a gun pointed at your head. Did you mean it? Now would be a good time to tell me." He paused, studying her. "I know there's history between you and my father." He watched her gaze drop to the floor, but he continued anyway. "My own brother nearly killed you. Now we have Will. I understand it's complicated. But you need to tell me how you feel."
She slowly lifted her eyes to meet his and he could see they were filled with tears. He felt his heart sink.
"Ever since you got here, I've been so afraid," she admitted tearfully. "Of how I felt about you. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't. Every time I pushed you away, I'd always find you again. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve like you, Michael. I find it hard to express these things. But yes, I meant it." She smiled when she saw his expression change, letting her tears escape down her face.
Immediately, relief washed over him. It was good to finally hear her confirm it. He smiled and rushed over to her, grabbing her in a kiss. She kissed him back, holding him, smoothing her hands along his body as they increased their pace ever so slightly. After a moment, they paused for breath, and Michael wiped the moisture from her face, smiling at her.
"I guess we're not used to being a proper couple," he admitted, holding her.
She smiled sadly. "Another thing to get used to." She rested her head on his shoulder. "Please be careful tomorrow. I need you to come home."
He pulled back a little. "You're okay with me going?"
"Protecting the colony is our job," she replied. "I understand you need to go. But Will and I expect you back, okay?"
He nodded gently. "Okay."
He let her melt into him again, feeling her warmth against him, letting her hair get in his face. Finally. He knew for sure now, they were meant to be together.
The next morning, Michael got to work on loading up the three Rhino transports. In total, ten soldiers had volunteered including Curran and Reilly. They had been given quite an arsenal, including a missile launcher and a machine gun loaded onto the back of one of the vehicles. The reality was beginning to settle in as Michael tossed the last of the supplies into his rover.
"I hear you're leaving again," a friendly voice said behind him. He spun round to see Skye, once again in her uniform.
"Private Tate," he smiled. "Still getting used to seeing you in green."
She smiled politely. "Still getting used to it myself, but I like it." Her smile disappeared. "Don't you think you've done enough lately? You brought Lieutenant Washington and the Commander back. People wouldn't blame you if you wanted to sit this one out and spend time with your family."
"I appreciate that, Squirt. But I can't sit anything out until I know this colony is safe. If this...thing attacks, we might not have families to spend time with."
Skye frowned. "Just feels like every time you come back, I don't know how long you're actually gonna be around for before you leave again."
"Hey, I'll be back in no time. Besides, if I die, Alicia will kill me." He chuckled.
She let herself smirk, but only slightly.
"Take care of this place while I'm gone," he said.
She nodded. Her gaze became distracted by another soldier approaching. It was Curran.
"Hey. You're going too?" she asked. She watched as Curran shrugged as if to say 'looks like it'. "Well, be careful too. Okay?"
Curran seemed surprised, but nodded in agreement.
"I'll see you later."
Curran stood beside Michael as they watched her leave. "She's a good kid," he remarked to him. "Her mother's been so great to me too. Not just 'cause she's grateful I saved her from the Sixers. She's been really good to talk to. Like she really cares, you know?"
"Yeah," Michael said thoughtfully. "The Tates are good people."
He tapped the side of the Rhino before getting in the driver's seat.
On the way out, he saw the Commander by the gates seeing them off. His father gave him a meaningful nod. It was his way of wishing him luck. Michael stared back at him, always at awe by how much his dad could express without saying a single word. But he understood. He looked back towards the road and accelerated out the gates.
"Gotta say, I'm impressed with you guys."
Michael glanced behind him to the back seat where Private Brett was seated. Her tone was slightly more of disbelief rather than complimentary.
"The way you both just walk back into the colony after all the crappy stuff you pulled, and then you volunteer to go toe-to-toe with a raging dino. What's your angle?"
Glimpsing the passenger seat, Michael could see Curran's agitated expression.
"No angle," he said. "Just trying to do the right thing."
Brett shook her head scornfully. "You weren't so interested in doing the right thing with Foster."
"That's not helpful, Brett," Michael chastised, keeping his eyes on the track ahead of him.
She smiled disdainfully. "Helpful would have been not running off to work for the enemy for a year, and then trying to trick us into some fake deal!"
Michael bit his tongue, focusing on the rover ahead of him. He had no room to defend himself there. He shot a look at Curran, who returned his look of solidarity. It seemed like their fellow soldiers still harboured some sour feelings, understandably.
"Let's just focus on killing this thing," muttered Michael.
"Fine," Brett said, continuing to look out towards the trees through the slats in the Rhino.
They continued driving for some time, Curran marking off the parts of land they had searched on the map. For the first few hours, though, they had found no trace of the Cruentusaur. They were starting to get restless.
"Where is this thing?" Brett moaned.
"Figures," said Michael, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
They pulled over while Reilly reviewed the map and some of the guys stretched their legs. Michael leant against the vehicle door, listening to the sergeant muse aloud at which areas needed to be searched next.
He noticed Curran standing some distance away from the other soldiers who were still ignoring him. He frowned. Feeling guilty, he headed over to keep him company.
"You having second thoughts yet, Curran?"
He smirked. "Not yet. Might help if we found the damn thing."
Michael chuckled. He wiped the moisture from his forehead. The sun was baking him in this armour.
"I don't get it," Curran added, clearly frustrated. "It was steaming towards Terra Nova the other day. It should be here somewhere."
"It is smart," Michael reminded him. "Maybe it knows we're looking for it."
Curran looked uncertain. He took a swig from his canteen, staring at something behind Michael.
"I told you they'd never forgive me," he mumbled, looking back at Brett and the rest of their group.
"Don't pay attention to Brett. She's not happy unless she has something to complain about."
"You know it's not just that." Curran sighed. "I'll always be remembered as Terra Nova's first murderer. That's my legacy to this place."
Michael noted the shame in Curran's expression and in his posture. He was utterly defeated. Michael recognised it all too well. Curran didn't deserve that title. Unfortunately, that title would always belong to Michael.
The guilt was all over him again. Looking at Curran, he knew he at least deserved to know the truth.
"You're not Terra Nova's first murderer," he said. "I am."
Curran looked up at him incredulously. "What?"
"I killed someone," Michael clarified. "I mean before the war, before the occupation. Before you even set foot in Terra Nova."
Curran looked shocked. He barely blinked. "Who?"
"He was my father's mentor. A General."
"You killed a General?" Curran said in astonishment.
Michael told him about that night, years ago. How Lucas had snuck out to meet General Richard Philbrick as he arrived through the portal, and how they had followed him, stumbling upon his attempt to overthrow their father. He told him how Philbrick had tried to kill the Commander, and how Michael's intervention had led to the death of the General instead.
Curran was watching him with intense curiosity. Was he disgusted? Angry? Or just plain confused?
Michael cleared his throat. "The point is, you're not the first person to make that mistake. I know what it's like to be haunted by it."
After a moment, Curran dropped his gaze, frowning. "I appreciate it, Michael. But it's a little different. You killed to protect your father, to protect the colony. I killed to protect my own ass."
He gave Michael a half-smile as if to say 'thanks anyway,' before heading back to the transport.
Michael inhaled deeply, staring up at the sky in defeat. He had tried; he shared the burden Curran felt, but he was right that it wasn't quite the same.
Back on the 'road', they had been driving at least another half hour when Michael was forced to slam on the brakes as the Rhino ahead of them stopped suddenly.
"What was that about?" Curran wondered aloud.
Michael followed the rover in front as they made a turn to avoid something on the track ahead of them. As they came closer, they could see the bodies of at least three slashers lying cut up and mangled on the ground, splashes of blood staining the green of the bushes nearby. Michael slowly veered round them.
"What the hell?" Brett murmured, staring at the bodies with horror.
"We're close," Michael said. "Be ready."
A few minutes later and the vehicle in front came to another halt.
"You guys hear that?" Reilly's voice quizzed over the comms.
They stopped and listened, just about making out the unsettling roar in the distance. It sounded a couple of miles away, but it was hard to tell.
"Copy, Sergeant. We hear it."
In the back, Brett picked up her rifle. There weren't any more complaints of boredom after that. The rover was silent as they continued on, nearing the awful noise. Michael could sense his heart rate increasing with each passing moment. They were getting closer.
It became more of a concern when the jungle fell silent. Curran looked around him, listening carefully. "It's gone," he whispered.
Michael shook his head. "It's not gone."
"I don't hear it," Brett remarked. "Maybe it has gone."
"Shh." Michael put his hand up, calling for silence. He stopped the Rhino. He could hear the wind rustling the leaves on the trees, a Howler in the distance. But otherwise nothing. He was beginning to think maybe it had gone when suddenly a deafening noise overwhelmed him.
It was a roar and a shriek combined and it was coming from directly behind them. Michael pressed his hands over his ears to suppress the ringing in them. Before he could do anything, a force smashed into the side of the rover and sent it rolling on its side.
The shrieking and growling continued whilst Michael's world flipped sideways. The ground shook as something large and heavy passed them. Then he heard the guns going off. He looked around him from his new angle, gravity pulling him towards the ground. Brett was desperately trying to climb towards the back of the Rhino. Curran hung from his seatbelt, dabbing at a cut on his forehead.
"You okay?" Michael asked, already struggling out of his sideways seat.
Curran nodded. He followed Michael as they tried to make their way through the overturned transport, using the back bench to steady themselves. When they got to the back exit, they could see the beast was right in front of them, furious as their fellow soldiers began gunning it down.
As expected, the rifles were having minimal effect. But the machine gun on the back of one of the Rhinos was having a bit more success. The Cruentusaur was clearly in pain as the bullets tore through its body, its deafening screeches of agony amplifying through the woods. But they were the equivalents of flesh wounds, if anything. It only made it angrier. It screamed, swinging round its large tail and sending some of the men flying.
"Get the rocket launcher!" Reilly ordered Michael as she went to help up her fellow soldiers.
Michael ran to collect the launcher from the back of the Rhino. In the past he'd been itching to use one of these, but now he was a little more apprehensive. As Curran and Brett fired their rifles beside him, he positioned the launcher on his shoulder and prepared to fire.
"STAND BACK!" he yelled.
He felt the enormous force from the launcher almost push him backwards as the rocket soared for the dinosaur. There was impact as the rocket exploded, causing a massive inferno as many of the soldiers fell back from the blast. Michael shielded himself from the explosion as it sent him tumbling backwards.
For a moment, there was nothing. Just fire, heat and smoke. Michael pushed himself up on his elbows and wiped the dirt from his vision. Everything seemed to be on fire, the black clouds of smoke blocking any sign of the beast's body.
Curran materialised from the smoke and helped pull him up, looking over at the other soldiers who were themselves recovering from the blast and trying to work out if they had been victorious.
For a moment, it seemed like they had. But as the smoke cleared, a large set of fangs emerged from the carnage, accompanied by the most horrific screech Michael had ever heard.
"RUN!" Reilly shouted.
Michael felt his legs take him as fast as they could carry him, the adrenaline fuelling him. He could hear the creature storming behind him, making that shrill noise. He didn't need to be reminded how fast the thing was; he was lucky enough to have escaped it twice already.
He couldn't bring himself to look back. His heart was pounding, leg muscles searing. He was faintly aware of some others running nearby. His chest was starting to hurt, his feet burning as they bolted onwards.
Please don't kill me, he thought over and over. Don't kill me.
Miraculously, it got distracted by something and turned a corner, stomping through the foliage. Michael bounded towards a tree and desperately gasped for air. He was red in the face, dripping sweat, terrified.
Looking around him, he saw a few familiar faces. Brett was a few feet away in hysterics, sitting in the long grass where it looked like she had collapsed. Michael made his way over to her, almost tripping over himself. Kneeling down in front of her, he briefly checked her over as she wept with horror.
"We...we're supposed to kill that thing?" she sobbed with disbelief.
"Did you see it get up from that explosion?" Sergeant Lee added, approaching them. His usual tanned skin looked white as a ghost. "Like it was nothing?"
"It's indestructible," another corporal said.
"It's not indestructible," Michael said, pulling Brett back to her feet. He turned to his sergeant. "Any word from -"
"I'm here," Reilly jogged over, a few others following behind her, including Curran. They looked just as exhausted as Michael did.
"Where is it?" Brett asked, looking around with panic.
"Lost it for now," answered Reilly. "But it'll be back."
"Can we get back to the transport?" Lee suggested.
"Might be risky," mused Reilly. "Let's do a head-count. Did we lose anyone?" She did a quick roll call, noting that all were accounted for. "Good. Let's get out of the open for now."
The group journeyed to a slightly thicker part of the jungle, where the dense plant life served as better camouflage. Michael, as well as a few others, took this as an opportunity to sit down and rest his aching muscles. The way everyone looked, it was clear the mission was a failure. That dino wasn't going to go down easy. It seemed more and more likely that it would make its way to Terra Nova, putting everyone's lives at risk. He looked up at his sergeants who were busily planning their way back to their vehicles.
He looked out at the treeline. Like everyone else, he felt on edge. The slightest noise made him jump; a small rustle of the trees, a squawk from a pterosaur up above. Everyone felt it.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier."
Michael almost jumped out of his skin as Curran knelt beside him. He looked at Curran next to him, trying to calm his heart rate. His companion smiled at him apologetically.
"It's fine. I guess you were right," Michael agreed. "It is different."
"It doesn't mean your guilt is any less. It's not something you just get over, is it? You're still paying the price even years later. What hope do I have?"
Michael stared at him. He had the guilt of one man on his shoulders. Michael had the weight of many. Philbrick was the first life he had taken, but it wasn't the last. Maybe their motives had been different, but he couldn't accept that they both couldn't be redeemed.
"It doesn't mean you can't do some good," Michael told him. "It will get easier. Eventually, you'll be able to sleep at night without reliving it. You'll be able to look at your friends without seeing his face. Eventually, it will get better."
"I'll take your word for it," Curran said half-heartedly. He got to his feet and held his hand out. Michael took it and straightened himself out as the group readied themselves for their trek back to the vehicles.
They led the group in the direction Reilly had outlined, back towards where they abandoned the Rhinos. Hopefully they were mostly still in one piece so they could get back home. The team were exhausted and so chatter was at a minimum. Michael thought it also might have something to do with keeping a low profile. No one wanted to risk even the slightest noise, just in case.
What was he going to tell Wash or his dad? He had so wanted to come home with good news. Then at least the colony would have one less problem to deal with. Now he had to tell them they were still in danger.
His worried thoughts made him lose focus, as his gaze wandered down to the grassy earth beneath him. The sudden appearance of a new creature made his head snap back up.
He stopped suddenly, holding his arm out to stop the people behind him. It was about the size of a slasher: short limbs, striped body, with a blue head and a red beak-like face. It stared at them curiously, which made Michael believe it wasn't a threat. It took him a moment, but he soon realised it was a Howler. This was probably the first time he had come face to face with one, since they preferred coming out at night and staying away from humans. The last time he had seen one was a few days ago, on the other side of the fence - when they had killed themselves trying to get inside the colony. The memory was disturbing. With that in mind, he kept a cautious distance, slowly bringing up his rifle.
For a solid minute, it just stared at them with its wide, beady eyes. Then, out of nowhere, it raised its head and gave off a spectacular howl.
"We need to go," Reilly said urgently. They began to veer away from the creature as it cried loudly into the air, as if it was a warning to something.
Michael glanced back at it as he hurried in the other direction. It couldn't be doing what he thought it was doing, could it?
A few seconds later and they heard a reply. The mutant was on its way back.
They started to run, but without knowing where exactly the danger was, it was hard to know which direction was safest.
After a few minutes of running, Michael saw it. In the distance, in the shade of the trees. It was coming for them. He let off his gun instinctively, prompting a few others to do the same as it ripped through the foliage towards them. He heard cursing and screaming as their fears seemed to be coming true.
It would kill them all, just like in the Badlands. Michael remembered those crushed and torn apart bodies. He didn't want to become one of those corpses, ripped apart by a monster. He desperately wanted to see Alicia and his son again. He couldn't die like this. He kept firing, sweat covering his body as the adrenaline made his heart race. Just go down, he pleaded inwardly. Just stop.
"HEY!" screamed a voice from behind the Cruentusaur.
Michael realised with horror that it was Curran. He had separated from the others, trying to bait the dino. The creature turned to look at him hungrily.
"That's right, Ugly. What's the matter? No one fed you today?" He started firing off his rifle, infuriating the dino. Then he ran.
"TIM, NO!" Michael yelled, watching the dino start to chase Curran. It wasn't much of a chase. The dino seized Curran with its massive fangs, letting off an unsettling crunching noise before tossing the body with great force.
"NO!" Michael watched with terror as Curran's body flew over the trees and disappeared. Reilly held him back to stop him going after him. He fought her grip, screaming, prompting Lee to grab hold of him too.
"He's gone, Corporal!"
Michael couldn't breathe. His eyes were wide with shock. There was no time to process what had happened. Reilly pushed him violently to get him moving. He ran, following the others as the distraction began to wear off and the creature turned back around. But they were already gone.
They ran until they couldn't run anymore, until they were safe or as good as. Michael doubled over, struggling to catch his breath. His heart just kept racing. He kept replaying what had just happened in his head. Curran yelling, that unpalatable crunch as the monster sunk its teeth into his bones, his limp body flying across the jungle like a piece of meat.
He didn't even notice Reilly lifting his head up, waving her hand in front of his eyes.
"He's in shock," she told Lee. "Michael, you need to focus."
"I'm fine," Michael snapped, batting her away. He'd just realised his eyes and face were wet. He blinked the moisture away.
He was barely aware of anything as Reilly ensured their safe return back to the Rhinos. He was numb as she sat in the back with him, speaking to him softly. He couldn't recall anything of what she said, but he'd nod every now and then and pretend he was listening.
He didn't say a word as they returned to the colony, bruised and battered. Passersby gathered around hopefully only to be informed of the bad news. Michael ignored them all; he didn't even acknowledge his father as he emerged from the Command Centre to hear of the mission's failure.
Reilly walked Michael back to Wash's house, handing him over to her as if he were a lost child. He certainly felt like one as he collapsed onto the couch, disorientated, thinking of how he had just watched his friend die. It happened so quickly, but it always did. Every time he watched someone die, it always seemed to happen so suddenly. No time to process it, to question it, to prevent it. Curran was just gone. Just like Gus, just like Guzman. Just like all the others.
Alicia sat on the couch next to him and attempted to hand him a glass of water. He didn't acknowledge her. He didn't notice. He just kept thinking how quickly and destructively that creature had taken Tim's life, like it was nothing. For a long time, he didn't even blink. Wash had just about given up getting a reaction out of him when he raised his head and looked her dead in the eye.
"Alicia...We need to get everyone out. Now."
