"Go ahead and give them clearance," his voice urged her to open her eyes and she found herself in Tooru's study where he had given her the necklace she now wore.

Ivanna looked around and saw him sitting in a high-backed chair turned towards the window, talking on the phone most likely. On his desk, she noticed a small glass display case that held two necklaces, the one he had kept and the other looked exactly like the one she wore now. She frowned at the odd environment of this dream and walked around the desk so she could see his face and as her eyes locked on to his hazel brown eyes, he frowned.

"Something just came up, I must go," he spoke into the phone before putting it down. "Ivanna...?"

"This dream is different," she frowned as she sat on the edge of his desk.

She looked down and found herself wearing a pair of high waist black suit pants that had two sets of three buttons running straight down. She had on a white button up quarter sleeved shirt that was tucked into the pants and a pair of black ankle boot heels. She felt around her neck and felt the weight of her necklace and could feel that her hair was in some kind of updo.

"You're asleep?" He frowned.

"Yeah, you aren't?"

"No."

"Did this ever happen before in the past?"

"Not that I was ever aware of. I was not one for small talk then."

"Huh," she snorted and he rose a brow. "Then something changed because he is the complete opposite."

"What has happened?"

"Inuyasha had attacked him. The second attack, so I've been told, that he lost to Tessaiga and ended up loosing his left arm. He requested me rather than a healer so for a week in a cave, I tended to his injures. The day we were returning to the citadel, we learned that I reacted to his Youkai very harshly and my heart stopped. Ah-Un managed to restart it, but I was unconscious for a week, dreaming of disembodied voices in a black void. When I woke, it was in his bed and he had not left my side and ended up having a pretty serious make out session. Since then even though I've told him many times that it cannot continue, he has been very affectionate. Started feeding me his Youkai and that had helped."

"The timeline has changed. Inuyasha had taken my arm before meeting you during the first attack with the blade and was always cold and indifferent towards you... How has he been feeding you his Youkai?" He frowned as he got to his feet.

"Here," she unbuttoned her shirt to expose her left breast where she could see the wounds still raw but not bleeding.

"Not very affectionate there," he muttered as he touched the topmost wound.

"He had been feeding me more of his youkai when Kahi entered the study because he had felt his youkai flare."

"Your pain level?"

"When it's kissing, it's just a minor pain. When he was feeding me his Youkai, I felt like I had gotten high and my body was numb, but it makes me hate him," she whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Even when I constantly say no, he pushed until I give in. He's showing me all these new experiences and it makes me want more... but it's one thing I don't think I'd survive... it makes me wish that I wasn't human so I could experience more... to truly live fully for myself without fear of the repercussion on my heart. It makes me hate the fact that he one day may have to take another for heirs... wait a minute... Your arm... Do you have a mate?"

"No, I never mated. As for the arm, there is a way for him to regain it, but he will have to follow your advice from when you were tending to him in that cave. From the sound of it, that was similar, just different injuries."

"What... the thing about true strength comes from within?"

"Yes, but he will have to learn that one for himself. If he gets pushy, just keep screaming at him. Inuyoukai hearing is extremely sensitive."

"What happened to your past version of me?"

"No."

"The timeline is changed, you said that yourself but even now, more than ever, I would do anything in my power to save him."

"But you hate him."

"That's only because I think it's the complete opposite," Ivanna whispered as she got off the desk and looked out the window. "I say that because I cannot afford to accept the truth. What happened?"

"She was killed," he sighed as he sat back in his chair. "A battle against the vile-hanyou Naraku. With the state of her heart, none of his incarnations bothered with her. Even if she hadn't been killed, I don't think she would have lasted more than a few days. She saw an attack coming my way that somehow I missed, and with missing my arm at the time, I wouldn't have been able to block it. Somehow she mustered the strength to run across the battlefield and took the attack."

"Oh..." she saw the pained expression on his face. "I'm sorry. Do you think there was a chance she knew?"

"I don't know," he mumbled.

"When was this?"

"Just before the winter solstice. It had snowed heavily at the citadel a couple days before..."

"She managed to change you this much despite your stubbornness in three months?"

"It took decades trying to understand why she did it... but it still does not make sense."

"Both of you are so thick in the head and I give up trying to explain it," Ivanna chuckled weakly as her mind started racing. "So if the battles still remain the same despite everything else... I would only have about six weeks..."

"Don't think about it," he appeared before her and cupped her face. "We don't know your fate..."

"Yes, we do..." She whispered sadly as she touched his cheek. "You may have been heartless to her but I would hate myself if I was heartless to him. Now I have the chance to leave as few regrets as I possibly can. I would like you to answer one last question... Rin... How did she handle it?"

"More maturely than could have been expected from a child," he smiled as he looked out the window. "She was sad, but she never grieved."

"Thank you," Ivanna smiled as she leaned up on her tiptoes, touching his shoulder to stabilize herself and kissed his cheek.

"Just don't forget that no matter how he acts with you, the one thing that has stayed the same is the self-absorbed search for power."

"We're working on that."

"I have a feeling that you will succeed," he whispered, touching her waist as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

"Mm, I'm sorry..." Ivanna pulled back and out of his reach. "Is it weird to say that it's not the same? I know you're the same person in body, but..."

"Different timelines, otherwise I would have gained the memories of the things you've seen. So in that thought process, we are different people completely except in name and appearances without concealment charms."

"Excuse me, sir... my apologies, I wasn't aware you had company...," the door opened and a man in a suit froze halfway in the doorway. "Your guests have arrived."

"I will be a couple more minutes," Tooru spoke and he left without a word.

"So..." Ivanna frowned as she turned to look at the closed doors. "Everyone can see me...? And you're positive that you didn't fall asleep at your desk?"

"Hn."

"So somehow I'm projecting an image of myself 500 years into the future that is solid?"

"So it seems..." Ivanna felt pressure against her arm and looked down to see the slightest indent of a small handprint. "Rin...?"

"She must be trying to wake me, but I don't know how," she frowned as she looked back up and saw a sadness in his eyes. "Was she happy?"

"Yes..." He nodded. "She mated one dear to her and bore two children, both boys who grew into great fighters like those of their father's clan."

"Do I ever meet him?"

"Hn, but you may not approve at first. He was not on our side. The vile hanyou controlled him."

"Who saved him?"

"Tenseiga."

"Hm," she smiled before feeling a pressure against her abdomen that she recognized immediately and brought both hands to cover the pressure there. "'Maru..."

"He's there?" He asked and she nodded before feeling pain and looked down as she felt a warm stickiness. "Pain to stimulate the body to wake. You are starting to fade."

"Thank you, Tooru... truly, for everything despite it threatening to reveal your presence to the council," she whispered as she looked at her hand, seeing through it.

"I did it for her... The one this one loved too late..." He spoke before everything went dark.


A scream escaped her lips as she bolted into a sitting position, gasping for air. She could feel a hand on her shoulder trying to get her attention, but she couldn't focus as pain coursed through her as she started sobbing. She could hear words being spoken but everything sounded quiet as her mind processed everything that Tooru had told her. She closed her eyes and brought her hands to cover her ears as she buried her face into her bent knees, curling into herself as tightly as she could as another scream escaped her. The warm tears flowed and she could feel it soaking into her clothing.

Feeling someone try to pull her out if her sitting fetal position, she screamed at whoever it was to not touch her, despite the feeling that it was most likely Sesshomaru. She found herself on her back with a weight on top of her waist and both hands trapped above her head. She thrashed under the weight trying to get free until a vicious growl interrupted her and she opened her eyes startled. Her vision was blurry due to the tears and her chest was tight, but she could clearly see the concerned look in the pink hued golden eyes above her. She took a shaky breath to try and slow her pained heart, but she could feel her tears still falling freely.

"What happened Ivanna?" He whispered, his brow furrowed as he remained motionless, keeping her trapped.

"Where is Rin...?" She looked around the best she could and found them alone on her futon.

"Kahi took her away. You were screaming in pain but would not wake."

"I need to see her..." She whimpered as she tried to get her hands free.

"What happened?" He growled, his grip tightening.

"I don't know," she cried out as she felt the bones in her wrists grind against each other.

"Ivanna," he snapped and she stifled a sob, his violent actions actually scaring her.

"Let me go..." She cried as it felt like acid was pumping through her veins with each painful beat of her heart.

"Why are you refusing to answer this Sesshomaru?!"

"You are hurting me!"

"Answer me!"

"Please... Let me go..." She sobbed. "I can't... I can't think... Everything... hurts..."

Her wrists were freed and she immediately brought one to her chest. She felt him shift slightly but did not move off her, keeping her pinned down. His hand came into view with a tin container with one of her herbal balms. She immediately smeared a portion into her scar, smelling chamomile, and closed her eyes. Despite the pain of her now bruised wrists, she rubbed her scar as she worked on stopping the feeling of burning of acid in her veins. After several long minutes, her body stopped screaming and she was able to take in normal breaths, but had yet to control the excessive amount of tears.

"I honestly don't know what happened," she whispered, averting her eyes and opted to stare at the ceiling instead. "At first, I thought it was a dream but he had been talking to someone... Somehow, I appeared in Tooru's conscious world and I had a physical form that was visible to others... I felt Rin and could see the slight indentation of her hand, same with yours... You brought me back, but I don't understand stand it at all..."

"You were screaming and writhing in pain."

"I can't explain something I don't understand... Why are you sitting on top of me...?" Ivanna frowned, finally registering their position and also tried to change the subject.

"You were causing further damage to your heart. It was the only way to effectively get your attention."

"Well you got it so get off," she snapped, pushing at his chest as she managed to sit up and tried to wiggle her hips out from under him.

"What was said when you created this image in his reality?"

"Timelines are different so nothing helpful," she huffed, managing to move a couple inches before his pelt wrapped around her waist, fully trapping her. "Let go of me! There is no logical reason to keep me trapped!"

"Calm yourself, your anger is straining..."

"Maybe if you got off of me, I would. All you do is push and push. Even when I say no, you completely ignore me and do as you please!" She shrieked, her talk with Tooru giving her some confidence as she punched his chest. "I did not ask for all this attention, I pushed because I did not want to experience it and end up wishing for that which I can never have! I hate you...!"

She was silenced by his lips as his hand slid into her hair, gently gripping the back of her neck. She tried to fight him and bit his lip as he tried to get her to comply, tasting blood. She felt her body enter an immediate high as she ended up swallowing his blood and felt her mind go blank except her want for him. Her hands stopped hitting him and gripped his haori tightly as he moved to press a kiss to her neck, making her skin tingle.

"Did you forget that this one can smell your lies?" He growled, the vibrations resonating through her body and she felt a strange heat coil in her abdomen. "You have never hated this one."

"Please..." she sobbed, despite the growing need in her body and he pulled back to look at her. "I don't understand why you do this... I can't return your affection... you had asked I give in only once... I did that and got more than planned... but it hurts... so much... so please stop... Lock it away with 'Sho, because it has to stop... once and for all."

"Ivanna..."

"I told you before, I can only be your servant. That is my wish. Please for once, just listen and respect my choice..." she whispered, covering her face with her hands as tears streamed down her face.

"That is your wish?" He asked softly, even though she could hear the hurt.

"Yes..."

"Very well, Onna," his voice was suddenly cold as he got up, but she couldn't look. "We leave after the morning meal."

"Yes, my lord," she whispered softly before hearing a door close.