Chapter 29: Munchies

I awoke Friday morning with a stress headache and knots in my neck and shoulders, and sat half-asleep and nursing a cup of tea over breakfast as Emily, Tess and Lia chatted around me. I needed a bloody massage. I stared into the soft brown liquid in my cup and I was debating whether a self-massaging charm existed, or whether I needed to endeavour to create one myself, when Emily nudged me out of my stupor.

"Look, the owls are coming in."

I continued staring down into my tea cup. It probably wasn't anything for me in the mail. Tess didn't eat her porridge fast enough and an owl dropped a copy of The Daily Prophet on top of her bowl, and along the House tables other owls were releasing that morning's paper from on high to land with resounding thuds on the tabletops.

"More disappearances," Lia said sadly, flipping the paper open and burying her nose in it.

I gripped my tea cup until my knuckles were white. Right now, I had no regrets about planning to obliviate my family, not when every day they remained like sitting ducks, waiting to be picked off one by one by the Death Eaters.

"Hey, Kersti. I think you've got a package heading your way," Emily said.

I looked up. She was staring down at the end of the Great Hall, where the last stragglers of owls were flying in. She was watching a small grey owl make a sloppy approach to our end of the hall, a medium-sized package clutched in its talons. "Why d'you reckon it's for me?" I asked.

"Reckon you're the only one in Hogwarts to get packages wrapped in pink," Tess said, watching the owl too.

I turned my gaze to the poor owl which looked as if it were drunk with the weaving and tilting flight path it was taking. It was growing closer every second and when it was flying above my head, it released the package to fall into my waiting arms.

"You'll be replacing me as Chaser with that catch, Kersti," Tess said, stirring her porridge.

I chuckled and examined the wrapped package before I carefully stripped the glossy pink paper from it. I had barely cracked the cardboard box open when a pungent scent reached my nose. "Jesus Christ!" I said, laughing and peering inside. Sure enough, it was another gift from my weed dealer and there was even a note from him folded on top of the packages of cannabis.

Lia looked at me and her face suddenly contorted. "Merlin, close that before a professor smells it!" she said, laughing and fanning the air.

"Merlin's beard, that reeks," Emily said, scrunching up her face.

"Alright, alright, I'm closing it. Need to save it for later anyway." I chuckled at their expressions. "Oh, come off it. It's not that bad."

Tess feigned a coughing fit and I rolled my eyes as we got up from the table. I tucked my package into my robes to cover the hideous pink wrapping and the smell, and then I scurried up to the Ravenclaw dormitory to stash it in my wardrobe. I made sure to cast scourgify on myself in case the stench lingered. God forbid I reeked during classes and around Sirius today.


I went down to the grounds after dinner to smoke some of the new weed that I'd gotten, holding my robes close to me to combat the evening November air. I went to my usual smoking spot, but what was unusual was that James and Sirius were already there. Something about this specific location resonated with the three of us smokers apparently.

"Evening, kitten," Sirius said, offering me a grin.

"Hello, Stripes," James said and raised his cigarette to his lips.

"Mind if I crash your party?" I withdrew a joint from my robes.

"Of course, kitten," Sirius said and James gave me an inviting gesture.

"Fancy something stronger?" I said. "I've got loads of this in my pockets."

James shook his head and tapped the ash off his cigarette while I handed one to Sirius, who was more interested in smoking weed than his friend. "I'm going to spend time with Evans as soon as I'm done this," James said, holding up his half-finished smoke.

"I'm not hanging out with Evans as soon as I'm done this, so I'm all yours, kitten," Sirius said, grinning at me.

I laughed and laid a hand on my chest. "Aww, old man." I turned my attention briefly to my joint to get it lit. "So, Lily. How's that going, Rotter? Everything fine and dandy?"

James grinned and pushed his glasses up his nose with a finger. "Brilliant. Really, truly, brilliant. Merlin, it makes me realize how much of an idiot I was in previous years."

"Didn't think to woo her with kindness before, Prongs?" Sirius said with a smirk.

James shook his head. "I was too immature. Well, I'm still working on it. And the keeping-out-of-mischief bit is proving to be difficult."

"If it makes you feel better, Rotter, you're doing a good job. Even I can tell that."

James shot me an appreciative smile. "Thanks, Stripes." He looked at me for a moment. "Sorry that I was such a wanker to you in the beginning."

I waved my hand and took a drag. "Doesn't matter."

"Well, yeah, it does matter. I was rather rude and threatened you in the forest, and then I wasn't too polite about you being in on the furry problem."

I shrugged. "Both of us were behaving poorly for that first little while. I was being overdramatic, you held a grudge, that sort of thing. But I don't think badly of you for it."

Sirius finished his cigarette and started on the joint that I'd given him. "Bit of a nasty shock in the forest."

"Yeah. Wise old Moony was telling me that I shouldn't be too angry with you, Stripes, but I was wanting to take it out on someone," James said.

"And I held a grudge. But that's all behind us," I said, looking out at the darkened forest as I took another puff.

"Like it never even happened," James said amicably. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me worriedly. "Stripes, you're a girl."

I snorted. "Yeah. Keen observation."

He ruffled the top of his head nervously. "I need a girl's advice."

I looked at him and Sirius curiously. Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, Rotter. What's the dilemma?"

James sighed and took off his glasses to polish them on his sleeve. "You're a girl, and I thought you might know what, er… what a girl wants when she brings her, er… boyfriend to meet her family."

My eyebrows shot up. "That's not girl-specific, Rotter. Doesn't Remus have some good advice for that?"

Sirius shook his head, a half-smile shaping his lips as he watched me. "Prongs is convinced that he needs a woman's advice. And Moony only told him to ask Evans about it."

James smiled sheepishly. "I don't know about asking Evans. Not that I couldn't, but I want to… put her at ease from the beginning. And, er… I don't want her thinking she needs to assist me because I have bad manners or I'm unsociable or I can't socialize with Muggles or I need-"

I chuckled. "I've never seen you this nervous, Rotter."

"Rather rare, kitten," Sirius said, looking at me and leaning back against the castle wall.

James sighed and ruffled his hair again. "I dunno, I just… it's not like we've been dating that long and I want to make a good impression and all that."

"Yeah, I know." I took a long drag and held the smoke in before exhaling it. "Do you know much about her family?"

"Not a lot, bits here and there. I'm meeting them and then the plan is to attend her sister's wedding together over the holidays."

"Is her sister a Muggle?"

He nodded. "Yeah. She's mentioned in passing that leaving for Hogwarts has strained their relationship significantly, but I'm still not entirely sure what I'm walking into."

"But her parents are nice? About her being a witch and all that."

"Yeah. They're really nice from what she's said. But she gets all quiet and withdrawn whenever I ask about her sister. She's only said in passing that they're not as close as they were before she left for school."

I nodded and glanced at Sirius. He was smoking his joint thoughtfully, staring off into the distance. I hoped that this wasn't causing him to dwell too much on his own strained family situation. Perhaps he had a sister from whom he was estranged? Or maybe Sirius had no siblings?

I turned my focus back to James. "It's a tricky situation, Rotter. But… I dunno, this isn't what you'll want to hear but-"

"Merlin help me!" James said, his face stricken.

I chuckled. "Jesus, no. It's not anything bad, I was merely going to say I agree with Remus. I think you should ask Lily what you'll be heading into, what sorts of interpersonal dynamics are already present, things you shouldn't mention in conversation, subjects to be avoided, all that. I can't do it justice or give you any sort of advice because I'm only grasping at straws here. I don't know about the intricacies of her family dynamics, only she does. So I think it can't hurt to ask her what to expect and prepare for. You know she'll understand. I reckon she'll appreciate you even more for it."

James sighed and Sirius chuckled. "See? I told you, Prongs. I said she was going to say what Moony did."

James reached a hand up to ruffle Sirius's hair. "Don't you dare say 'I told you so,' Padfoot."

"I told you-"

James gave Sirius noogies on the top of his head. "What'd I say, mate?"

"Get off me! My hair!"

I laughed and continued smoking my joint until they had ceased their tussling. James ground his cigarette butt out under his toe. "Thanks for the reassurance, Stripes."

I gave him a genuine smile. "Of course, Rotter."

He studied me for a moment and readjusted his glasses. "Moony said you were a good listener, Stripes."

I looked at the two of them in surprise. "Really? He said that?" I said quietly.

Sirius nodded and raised the blunt to his lips, watching me. "Yeah. Insisted that you… know what it's like."

"Moony always was the best of us, always the most perceptive."

I shrugged and looked out at the forest again, avoiding Sirius's eyes. "I think… I'm one of the few people who can empathize with his curse. It's probably comforting. You know, misery loves company and all that."

James looked at me for a long moment. "Are you cursed too?"

I looked down at my shoes. "A story for another day; a very long story."

"Hmm," Sirius said noncommittally. I could feel his gaze weighing on me and I was glad that I didn't know what sorts of questions were rolling around in that beautiful head of his. They would almost certainly be questions that I couldn't and wouldn't answer.

James cleared his throat and looked from me to Sirius, sensing the shift in mood. "Well, er… I'd better get up to see Lily, can't be late for our date."

I smiled. "Have fun, Rotter. And don't be afraid to talk to her. I know she'll understand."

James ruffled Sirius's hair one last time before he clapped me on the shoulder. "Thanks, Stripes," he said, smiling down at me.

I nodded towards the castle. "Get going, Rotter. You'll be tardy at this rate."

He gave me a silly grin and waved to Sirius. "You two behave yourselves. Don't make me come back and give you detentions."

"Tardy tosser!" I joked.

James flipped me off jokingly and I watched as he jogged around the corner and into the castle. I sighed. I wished that my life could be that carefree, where my only problem was trying to make a good first impression on my significant other's parents and sister, instead of worrying about how and whether I would erase all my family's memories of me. I rubbed my face and took a slow drag, trying to avoid Sirius's gaze.

"I'm finished, kitten. Will you lend me another one?"

I turned to face Sirius. He was grinning at me, holding up the butt as an explanation. At least he wasn't telling me to scram, because I wanted to stay here for a while, smoking with him. I smiled and went to stand beside him against the wall, handing him a fresh joint.

"Plenty more where those came from, old man," I said, patting my pocket.

He grinned and pushed a strand of hair out of his face. "I'd expect nothing less, kitten."

We smoked in silence for a few minutes, staring out at the Forbidden Forest. "D'you have any plans for your life after Hogwarts?" I asked and exhaled some smoke.

Sirius thought about that for a moment and I studied his profile. "I selected auror when we had to choose a potential career. I still like that idea but… Dunno." He turned to smile at me, his grey eyes alight. "What about you, kitten?"

I shrugged and tossed away my finished blunt before I started my second one. "I chose auror too. It was more of a haphazard guess. I don't have any hard and fast plans for after graduation." I thought briefly of how I would have no family or home to return to after the Hogwarts Express dropped me off at King's Cross at the end of June, but I tucked that thought away for later. "Dunno," I said, smiling at him.

He looked at me for a moment. "I always thought maybe I'd take a few years to travel, see the world… you know? Get out of Britain for a bit before I settled down into a career."

I nodded. "Me too. Where would you travel?"

"Dunno. I'd like to see magical societies of other countries, like Europe and America. I've always wondered whether they were different and as… fucked up as Britain's."

"I remember reading in a book that wands are a European invention. Though I can't imagine not having one."

He nodded and pursed his lips around the end of his blunt. "I've always felt so… trapped by wizarding society here, for… obvious reasons. It'd be nice to get away from it all for a few years."

"Yeah. My parents made me keep up with my Muggle schooling during the summers so I think I could get into a Muggle university if I wanted to. I guess that's another option for me after school."

"University?"

"It's a sort of advanced school for Muggles, for adults."

"You'd have to hide your magical abilities," he said. "Can't imagine that'd be fun."

"Yeah. Which is why I find the idea of travelling for a while and then having a wizarding job much more appealing. Dunno if I can afford to travel though, if I'm being honest with myself."

Sirius chuckled. "Dunno if I can afford it either."

I turned to study him for a moment as he flicked the ash away. He was no longer enjoying the wealth of the Black family and was living off his own means, but I would never push him into telling me the particulars of his financial situation.

Sirius met my gaze, sensing the unasked questions in my head. "You're very… tactful about not forcing things, kitten."

"Like with personal things?"

"Yeah. Most people would, I dunno… try to pry."

I shrugged and forced myself to meet his eyes, even though the intensity of his expression was making me feel vulnerable. "I… I understand what it's like to have secrets, old man. And it's not very… nice to force confessions out of people."

He smiled gently. "Thanks, kitten." He searched my face for a moment with his haunting grey eyes. "I can't force you either, I s'ppose?"

I gave him a small smile. "Not really, no. One step at a time, old man. I think… I think we'll get there eventually. Just be patient and give me time."

"I will, kitten," he said and we lapsed into a comfortable silence as we smoked some more.

"You know, my weed dealer sent me a fresh batch, and this is from that batch. He claimed it was more potent than usual?" I said, holding up my joint and examining it accusingly.

"I think he was taking the piss with that, kitten."

"Merlin, he definitely was taking the piss. More potent? Pshhh. I'm one and a half in and I'm not even high yet."

Sirius laughed. "Me neither. But this is good. How the fuck does he get it to you?"

"You mean into the castle?"

"Yeah."

I chuckled. "Packages from my parents."

He stared at me. "Your parents send you weed? Voluntarily?"

"No, I get my dealer to send them packages, then they send them to me. I've been telling them the dealer bloke is my boyfriend who sends me romantic, mushy shit when I'm gone at my 'fancy boarding school.' They respect my privacy so they never open the packages."

Sirius threw back his head and laughed. "Brilliant, kitten."

I couldn't help but join in with his barks of laughter. I felt happy that I had made him genuinely laugh, and I liked seeing him like this. "I'll be here all night, smoking myself into an early grave at this rate."

He gave me a mischievous grin. "How many d'you reckon we'll need to smoke? Four? Five?"

I laughed. "Merlin, I hope not. I thought I'd have enough to last me till the holidays."

Sirius and I took the final drags from our joints before tossing them away. "Aw, kitten. One more? Please?" he said, pouting and making puppy-dog eyes.

I smiled. "Don't make that face at me, I'm just as interested in having another as you are."

He pinched my bum quickly. "Well, don't delay. Hand over the next one, kitten."

I giggled and gave him one with shaky hands and struggled to light them. He gave me a cheeky grin. "What's this? Is someone getting high already?"

I shoved him playfully. "Tease."

He took a first drag and then smacked my arse when I was trying to smoke. I spluttered in surprise and looked at him. "You dog!"

He feigned shock. "What? I'm a dog? Really? Merlin, I had no idea!"

I tried to tickle his sides with one hand. "Teasing old man," I said and swayed in place.

Sirius let out a surprisingly high-pitched giggle when I managed to tickle his exposed side. "Ah, Merlin!"

"Too bad your feet aren't exposed. I'd have a field day."

"And I'd tickle you until you pissed yourself."

I snorted with laughter but choked on the smoke. "Tell that to Stripes. Tickle her, see what happens."

He leaned down to bring our faces closer together, a smirk shaping his lips. "You're so high you're going to fall over, kitten."

I scrunched up my face. "Am not. Could I do this if I were high?" I said and spun in a place, completing the rotation with a shimmy and a bum-wiggle.

He howled with laughter. "You wouldn't do that if you weren't high!"

I leapt at Sirius and began poking him. "Stop laughing at me, old man!"

He tickled me right back and then wrapped an arm around me, halting my attack. "I'm just teasing, kitten. Don't get offended."

"Hmm," I mumbled, my face against his chest.

"'Hmm,' yourself," he said and finished his third joint. "You're so fun to tease, I can't help it."

I made a disgruntled noise and lifted my face away from his robes to finish my third joint before tossing it away. "A fourth, old man," I said, raising my finger in the air.

He made a sound between a hiccup and a giggle. "A fourth, kitten. A fourth."

It took several tedious minutes for us to light our joints as we stood with our heads bent together, giggling like idiots. We bumped foreheads in our stupor and laughed, and then leaned in so our foreheads were pressed together.

"Look, your face is right here," I said, bopping him lightly on the end of his nose.

He made a bug-eyed expression, his hair falling forward to brush against my face. "Look, your face is right here," he said, pinching my cheek.

"I can see your face from here," I mumbled, looking into his eyes that were a hair's breadth from mine.

"I can see your face from here," he said, grinning and staring back at me.

I giggled and broke away to rub my burning eyes before we resumed smoking. I started aimlessly humming a tune and shimmying on the spot. Sirius started laughing at me and then imitated me, which made us both descend into wheezing fits of laughter.

"Niiiiceeee imitation, mate," I said.

"Niiicceeee moves, mate."

"That what I sound like?"

"Mmmhmmm," he said emphatically. He cleared his throat before making his voice higher. "'My name's Kersti and I'm a girl.'" I cackled at Sirius's impression which only fuelled him further. He took a long drag and coughed, and then continued. "'I'm a sexy girl with beautiful tits,'" he said and I burst out laughing.

"Me tits!" I wheezed and then took a drag.

He finished his joint and tossed away the butt. He cupped his chest with his hands. "Tits."

I howled with laughter. "Tits!"

He stared at me, unblinking, laughing at my hysterics. I finished my joint and discarded the remnants.

"Fancy a kitchen raid?" he said, looking eager.

"Yes, please," I mumbled.

"C'mere, kitten. We're gonna get sweets," he said and tucked me up under his arm before he started guiding us back to the castle. It felt like it took years to muddle our way down to the kitchens because of how high we were. When we finally stumbled up to the painting, we were giggling more than the pear as Sirius reached out a finger to tickle it, and then we were careening through the doorway and into the kitchens, scaring the house-elves out of their cleaning and plopping ourselves down on one of the benches. I sat beside Sirius in a haze, giggling and barely registering the appearance of a wide range of sweets.

"Here, kitten," Sirius said, putting a Chocolate Frog box in my hands and sucking on a sugar quill.

I fumbled with the box and, taking advantage of my delayed reaction time, the frog leapt onto my lap. I stared as it sprung onto the bench and then took off across the floor.

"Kitten, you let it escape," Sirius mumbled around the sugar quill in his mouth.

I took another Chocolate Frog and tried not to let it escape, but that one also jumped out and onto the table. I giggled. "It got away."

He tried to catch it but his reflexes betrayed him as well. He laughed. "Merlin, no more for you."

I stared at the first frog as it doubled back towards me and tried to make an escape at the other end of the kitchen. "Wait, hold on. Are chocolate frogs alive? Do they… feel and think?" I turned to Sirius. "Are they alive?"

He smiled and took the empty box from me. "Nope. I need to give these to Wormtail." He handed me some sort of tart which wouldn't try to escape from me.

I bit into it and sighed. "Bloody hell, this is so goooood."

He laughed at my infatuation with the tart and tucked the cards into his trouser pocket. I sat there in a haze, my whole existence centering around how fucking good my tart tasted, until a small explosion on Sirius's lap made me look to him.

"Fuck me," he said, remnants of Exploding Bonbons on his face and robes.

I started laughing and reached a hand out to brush some of the residue from his front. "D'you want me to get it off your face, old man?"

"Yes, please. Can't see where it is."

I slid closer so I could reach out and brush the candy dust off his cheeks. He closed his eyes, making a silly face. Using the pads of my fingers, I managed to clean up his face and admire his features while I did it. "All done."

He opened his bloodshot eyes and blinked. "That was a right failure," he muttered and gave his robes a last brush-off.

I shrugged and continued to watch him. Were the rest of his relatives as good looking as him? Did they all have the proud, aristocratic features? Sirius's personality was his own, an anomaly among his family, but part of me wondered where his good-looks had come from.

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. "You're staring, kitten."

"So what? Am I not allowed?"

"Oh, please do. Stare as much as you want."

I opened my eyes as wide as possible. "Like this?"

He let out a bark of laughter. "Merlin, not like that."

"Still staring."

"Stop, that's creepy."

"You said I could stare."

"Not like that. You look like an acromantula," he said, laughing and dipping his head towards mine. "And I'll snog you to make you stop."

"Please do."

Then his lips were pressing against my mouth and I forgot about satisfying my sweet tooth. His tongue came out to move against mine and his mouth tasted like candy, which I found oddly endearing. He'd looked like a little boy on Christmas when he'd been tucking into the sweets that the house-elves had given us. I barely registered a house-elf, who was affronted by the public snogging, shooing us out of the kitchen, leaving us giggling and sans sweets outside the portrait of the pear.

Sirius whirled around and began walking to the stairs. I stumbled after him and grabbed ahold of his arm. "Where're you going, old man?"

He grinned. "To the Gryffindor Tower? Am I going the right way? I think it's the right way."

I got distracted on the stairs by a moving portrait on the wall which I stopped to stare at, until he fell back and settled me under his arm again.

"C'mon, kitten. We can't be seen by Filch," he said, letting me lean against him heavily in my mental fog. "You know, you've got a soft side, kitten," he said after we trudged up another set of stairs.

"Huh? You talking 'bout my tits again?"

"No, you've got a sweet side. Not just an angry kitty."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Prickly on the outside, soft on the inside."

I snorted gracelessly. "You're not just saying that 'cause we shag?"

Sirius laughed. "No. You've got a sweet side, kitten."

"You've got a sweet side too, old man. Like with your mates. Doing so much to help Remus, helping Peter, being a loyal friend. I like that about you."

He looked down at me under his arm. "I'm not heartless?" he joked.

I shook my head vigorously. "Not at all. You want everyone but the boys to think that. I don't think you're heartless, you just don't open up to others easily. Nothing wrong with that. I'm the same way."

Sirius shot me a glance and then smiled widely. "I swear on my broom, you're reading my mind."

"I'm not. I just get you I guess. Well, I'm trying. How'm I doing?"

"Better than most. Brilliant. How am I getting you? Good? Decent? Rubbish?"

"Brilliant. Really brilliant. Shocking, really," I said, smiling at him.

"Takes one to know one, yeah?"

"Mmmhmmm," I muttered, my legs feeling like two blocks of lead as we went higher up in the castle. I didn't know how long we had been stumbling along together, but after some time- minutes or hours- a voice drew my gaze from the stone floor.

"Merlin, there you are."

"Fuck, how much did you two smoke after I left?"

Sirius and I giggled and mimed smoking a joint. "Loads."

James rolled his eyes. "A load too much."

Sirius dug in his pocket and produced the two Chocolate Frog cards. "For you, Wormtail."

Peter cast me a suspicious look and took them from Sirius. "Er… thanks, Padfoot."

"What're we going to do about them?" James said.

Remus shook his head. "We can't leave her out in the corridor. And I don't know how to get into the Ravenclaw Tower."

"We can't just leave her outside the door?"

"No. You get in by answering a riddle, and does it look like she could do that in this state?" Remus said, gesturing to me giggling and leaning on Sirius. "It's not very nice to abandon her to get caught by Filch and Mrs Norris, to get a year's worth of detentions."

"Don't think she'll let go of Padfoot's arm either. What is it with them not controlling themselves around each other?"

"Prongs, that's a bit rich coming from you."

"Oh, bugger. Why're you always right, Moony?"

"'Cause he's Moony."

A short sound of exasperation. "Prongs, Wormtail, help me get them moving."

"S'okay, Moony. I can walk myself," Sirius mumbled and lurched forward, pulling me along with him.

"Merlin's nutsack. That must've been some strong weed."

"Yepppp."

After what felt like hours of walking, but was in fact a few minutes, James and Remus were guiding us through the Gryffindor portrait hole and Sirius abandoned me to kick his shoes off and throw himself down onto one of the couches.

"You're not going to your bed, Padfoot?" James said.

Sirius made a disinterested noise and leaned his head on the arm rest, getting comfortable with his long legs stretched out. I shuffled over and flopped down at the other end, mimicking his pose.

"Well, fine. Sleep there if you fancy that," James muttered and went away.

Remus transfigured a blanket for us and I muttered my thanks before he left us alone. Sirius shifted his legs underneath mine, his socked feet nearly at my arse. What a strange sleeping situation. I opened my eyes to look at him.

"Sorry in advance for the nightmares," I said.

"Hmm? Whaa?" he mumbled, head still tipped back against the armrest and eyes closed.

"I have really, really, really bad dreams."

"S'okay, kitten."

"Might thrash and wake you up."

"Doesn't matter. I'll go back to sleep," he said, waving his hand nonchalantly.

"Is it creepy that I dream about you, old man?"

He cracked an eye open and gave me a loopy smile. "Nah. Reckon loads of girls dream about me. I like it."

"Yeah, but what if I dreamt about us in love?" I muttered, rubbing my burning eyes.

Sirius poked my leg with his toes. "Wholesome, kitten."

"Ughhh," I said, rubbing my eyes again. "My eyes are burning."

"At least it's not your crotch."

"Help! My crotch buuuurrrrnnnnnnsssssss," I said and he wheezed.

I rubbed my foot along his leg under the blanket and accidentally made contact with his crotch.

"Ughhh, kitten. My family jewels," he groaned.

"Oh, sorry," I giggled.

He tickled the bottoms on my feet briefly before he placed them in his lap with a hand on my shin.

"Should I kiss them better?" I mumbled.

"Mmm, yes, please," he hummed without opening his eyes.

"I can see up your nose."

Sirius tossed his hand in the air in a weird gesture. "Stop looking up my nose."

"Even your nose is perfect, old man."

"Your nose is perfect too, kitten."

"What if you had your dog nose all the time? Physically."

Sirius laughed. "What if you had whiskers all the time?"

"Hideous."

"Hideous."

"I think we smoked too much."

"Agree. Too much. I'm really high," he muttered.

"Don't steal the blanket in the night."

"I share."

"You better."

"I'll share with you, kitten."

"Good. Wonder who invented the first blanket?"

"A cold person."

"Mmm, yeah. Blankets are nice. I like this blanket. It's cozy."

He chuckled, eyes still closed. "S'only cozy 'cause I'm under it with you."

"You're cozy."

"I know, kitten."

"Am I the first to experience your… coziness?"

He let out a soft bark of laughter. "Yeah. Never sleep the night with girls I shag. Too personal."

"Not detached enough?"

"Not detached enough," he agreed.

I started giggling and he managed to raise his head up to look at me at the other end of the couch.

"What?"

I smiled. "You smell like dog."

He rolled his eyes. "You smell like cat."

"You like my cat smell, don't lie."

"You like my dog smell, don't lie."

I sighed dramatically. "I like your dog smell."

"I like your cat smell," he said and leaned his head on the armrest again, his hand circling my calf, and I felt comforted by the gesture.

"G'night, old man."

"G'night, kitten."

And we somehow fell asleep.


"Prongs, no hair-ruffling today."

"Bloody hell, Moony. I can't help it. It's a habit."

"Do I really have to cast incarcerous on you right now?"

"No. Merlin, I'm just so nervous."

"We've yet to crack open the firewhiskey, Prongs. We'll take a shot now and you'll be brilliant," I said and focused on my reflection in the mirror. My bloody suit collar wasn't lying right, but besides that I was ready. I studied my face in the mirror for a moment, eyes scanning over my black waves and pale face. At least I looked handsome, even if this collar was killing me.

"Easy for you to say, Padfoot. You're not the one who's getting hitched in less than an hour," James said, clamping his hands by his sides in an effort to not unconsciously ruffle his hair.

I snorted and turned to shoot him a look. "I've got a wicked best man's speech to deliver, Prongs. That doesn't sound stressful to you?"

James took his glasses off his nose and polished them on his front. "This is for the rest of my life, Padfoot. It's a massive undertaking."

Remus sighed and tore his attention away from the box of chocolates that he was eating. "Prongs, if it makes you feel better, I reckon every person who's ever gotten married has been wracked with pre-wedding jitters."

James made a weird sort of flapping motion with his hands, channeling his fretting into something other than messing up his perfectly-styled hair. I doubted the tidy hair would last very long. "I know, but I feel like I'm going mad, Moony. I think I'm going to retch. Merlin, I'm-"

"Come on, mate. You'll be amazing!" Peter said, leaving off the fingernail chewing for a moment.

"Fuck!" James said and started pacing. "D'you think my poor Lily-flower is this nervous? Merlin, I hope not."

"Guarantee you she's nervous too, Prongs," I said, fiddling with my black suit cuffs now.

"Fuck, I should've paid more attention when Mum and Dad started going on and on about their wedding. They're experienced in this field! They could've helped me out!" James said, eyes wide and frantic behind his glasses.

I made eye contact with Remus and nodded to the unopened bottle of firewhiskey on the window ledge. He swiped it up and put his box of chocolates in its place before he halted James's pacing with a hand on his shoulder. "Prongs, I propose a toast."

James stilled but I could smell the anxiety pouring off him in waves and see the sweat breaking out on his forehead. "Thanks, Moony."

I took my wand out of my pocket and waved it, making four glass tumblers zoom off a tray and levitate before Remus. "You'll feel better after this, Prongs."

"Can I have a chocolate after to wash away the taste?" Peter asked Remus, eyeing the box of chocolates.

Remus raised an eyebrow at him and ignored the request. "Here's yours, Prongs," he said, pouring the first drink. James grabbed the glass out of mid air and held it with clammy hands.

I abandoned the suit fiddling and joined the three of them by the window. "Padfoot," Remus nodded, pouring one for me. "And here's yours, Wormtail." Peter took his and nearly dropped it with his shaky hands. "And one for me," Remus said, and now we were standing in a circle, each with a glass of firewhiskey. He put the bottle back on the ledge.

"Before we drink, I'd like to say something," I said, grinning at James.

"Hear, hear," he said, smiling.

"May this be the only wedding of yours I attend, Prongs."

We all laughed. "What Padfoot means is that you have a long and happy life with Lily," Remus added, chuckling.

"It'll be the best wedding ever, Prongs!" Peter squeaked.

James ran a hand down his face. "Merlin's arsehole, what would I have done without the Marauders?"

"Been a boring, rule-abiding sod," I said and threw him a punch on the arm.

James laughed and raised his glass. "To the Marauders!"

"And to getting married," Remus added.

"Mischief managed?" Peter added tentatively. We all grinned.

"Yes, my dear Wormtail. Mischief managed," James said and we all threw back the drinks.

"Fuck, that burns!" Remus said and started coughing.

"Bloody amateur, Moony," I joked, the firewhiskey warming me pleasantly from the inside out.

Remus made a silly face at me. "Burgeoning alcoholic."

"Come off it, Moony," James said, laughing. "You know she'd never let him get to that point."

Remus shrugged and laughed. We'd been friends so long that we didn't have to struggle to understand each other's sarcasm and humour.

"Reckon Evans will like you in that suit, Prongs?" Peter asked but directed his question to the chocolate box.

I laughed. "She'll be dropping her knickers during the ceremony."

James jostled me. "Padfoot, don't talk about my soon-to-be-wife like that."

Remus caved and offered a chocolate to Peter when he opened the box to resume eating its contents. "He's one to talk, yeah?" he said.

James gave a low whistle and wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively. "Stripes is going to be all over you in that suit, Padfoot."

I ran a hand through my hair and grinned. "Oh, I know, Prongs."

A knock at the door caused us to turn around. I waved my wand and the glasses rearranged themselves on the tray.

"Everyone decent? No nudity?"

"No exposed body parts, boys?"

James smiled wryly. "Mum, Dad, we're already dressed."

Euphemia and Fleamont Potter cracked the door open and positively beamed when they saw us. "Oh, you boys! You all look so handsome!" Euphemia said, bustling over to us with Mr Potter in tow. She stopped in front of me. "Oh, dear. Look how dashing you are," she said, laying a hand on my cheek tenderly.

"Looking very dapper, boys," Fleamont said and embraced his son when he had reached him.

"My darling boy, you got your hair to lie flat," Euphemia said, greeting Remus and Peter and then moving on to fuss over her son.

"Yes, and only this one time for his wedding," Remus said, making us chuckle.

"Excuse me, I've got to nip out for a moment," I said, making my way over to the door.

Euphemia smiled lovingly and I embraced Fleamont before I left. I slipped out of the door and closed it behind me, hearing the murmuring of wedding attendees from the hall. I fiddled with my collar as I went, trying to get it to lie flat, but it was resisting all my efforts, and I gave up when I reached the doorway to the wedding hall. I scanned it for a familiar face. It wasn't a large event, but everyone was smiling and laughing in the positive atmosphere of the room. Everyone had made an effort and looked presentable, and I saw the bridesmaids talking together. I headed their way.

"Someone has a visitor," Mary said when she noticed me approaching. "We can go off and talk somewhere else?" she suggested as the other ladies noticed me. I waited for them to disperse.

"Hey, kitten," I said.

Kersti looked up and her face broke into a brilliant smile. "Bloody hell, old man. You clean up well."

I laughed and sat beside her, my eyes never leaving her face. "You look beautiful, kitten," I said, raising a finger to tuck a stray curl behind her ear.

She smiled, her hazel eyes bright. "I've got to look good for Lily's wedding, don't I?" Her face got serious. "How's James holding up? Scared shitless?"

I nodded and slipped her hand into mine. "Scared shitless. We cracked open a bottle of firewhiskey and his parents are giving him some last minute encouragement, so I reckon he'll make it through the ceremony."

She smiled and I couldn't help but return it. I'd never been able to get enough of her smile. "And I know you'll be an amazing best man too," she said, intertwining our fingers. Her eyes twinkled. "And a very handsome and sexy one."

I chuckled and rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand. "I can't wait to get you out of this dress, kitten."

Her beautiful mouth curled up at the corners. "I can't wait to get you out of this suit, old man."

I grinned and leaned in to press a kiss to her lips. "I look forward to it." I watched her face for a moment, my eyes drinking in her familiar features that had become so dear to me. I squeezed her hand in mine. "I love you so much."

She smiled, her hand resting on my cheek. "I love you too, so much." Her expression grew stern again. "You'd better get going. I think the ceremony is starting soon."

I chuckled and kissed her again. "Thanks, kitten."

Kersti smiled tenderly. "Don't be late, old man. I'll see you at the reception?"

"I'll be waiting for you," I said and flashed her a grin before I headed back to the boys. I couldn't be late for my best mate's wedding, especially not when I was his best man. I walked back to the boys, a silly grin on my face. I couldn't wait to rip that dress off her tonight.


I opened my eyes and found myself laying with my cheek against the burgundy armrest of the couch, still covered by the blanket that Remus had given us. A headache made its presence known almost immediately, no doubt from the dream that I'd had. My legs were stretched out like they had been last night, and my heart leapt into my throat when I felt Sirius's legs beside mine. I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

"Morning, kitten," Sirius said. He was slouching against the armrest, his hands behind his head and a lazy grin on his face. He had clearly been watching me from his vantage point and I didn't dare ask for how long.

I rubbed my face and massaged my temples. "God, what time is it?"

"Dunno."

I lowered my hands and locked eyes with Sirius. I was suddenly hyper aware of our legs that were still intertwined and how handsome he looked, observing me from the other end of the couch, his dark waves tousled. The dream came rushing back to me. I'd been seeing the future through his eyes, at James and Lily's wedding and I'd seen us, together. My stomach dropped when I thought about future-Sirius telling me that he loved me, and me saying it back. I felt sick. I couldn't look at him like this, minutes after I'd woken up from having a tender dream about him. My head hurt. I swung my legs so they were planted on the floor, checking to make sure that my wand was in my pocket. I had to get out of here, away from Sirius's grey-eyed gaze which was still locked on me. I clutched my head and took a few shaky steps forward.

"Oh, thank Merlin. You're finally awake."

I looked up to see James, Lily, Remus and Peter entering the Common Room, on their way back from lunch if the crumbs on Peter's robes were any indication. My body started shaking as the headache ravaged me.

Lily took one look at me and concern creased her brow. "Are you alright?"

I glanced at James, who was raising an eyebrow at me and looking at Sirius, who'd gotten up from the couch. He'd been all dressed up in the dream, waiting for his wedding ceremony to begin. The same face that I'd seen in the dream through Sirius's eyes stared back at me, and Remus looked the same too. Sirius came up to stand beside me, his hands in his pockets. I was getting overwhelmed fast and I had to get out of here before I did something stupid.

"Are you ill?" Lily asked, taking a step towards me.

Pain from my headache blurred my vision. "Congratulations on your wedding," I blurted out.

James's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline and he exchanged a look with Lily. "Er… don't think I got married, last time I checked."

"My word, Kersti. You look like you've seen a ghost," Lily said.

I clutched my head in my hands. "I have. I always see ghosts," I said and then I walked to the portrait hole.

"Merlin, are you still high?" I heard James call after me.

"Yes!" I shouted over my shoulder and then shot through the portrait hole and sprinted down the corridor as fast as I could while my head pulsed in time with my frantic heartbeat. I raced down corridors and leapt down stairs, ignoring the protests of Filch when I flew by him. I only slowed my pace to a jog when I was running down the hill to the Forbidden Forest, taking a moment to scan my surroundings in case anybody else was out here. I was in luck; I was alone. I ran into the cover of the trees, leaping over tree roots and then shifting mid air to land on my paws. And I was off, cantering on alone through the woods. I ran until my lungs heaved and the joy of being in my animagus form washed away the dream, and then I took my time to leap lightly over fallen trunks and weave around trees in my way. At the very least, I hadn't completely lost it in public, but that was the only reassuring thing about the haunting dream.