A/N: A few days ago, a lot of us were having trouble uploading chapters even though email alerts were being sent out. They weren't made available. If you haven't already, make sure you read chapter 31! Please continue to read and review. It's much appreciated. Thanks :)
Skylar stepped from the shower, wrapping a large white towel around her body, and just stood in place. She allowed the water to continue to drip down her skin until a biting chill overcame her, and she shivered.
In the past five hours, she had barely spoken a word since escaping Lucifer. What was she supposed to say?
She put a protective hand on her abdomen, reeling at the thought of a baby growing inside her. She didn't feel anything yet, and if the devil and Pamela hadn't confirmed it, she wouldn't have believed it. Shouldn't she be feeling something? Anything? For instance, shouldn't she be feeling grown up like a soon-to-be mother should? Truth was, she never felt younger than she did in this moment. She was terrified at the thought of caring for another human being when she could barely care for herself.
Furthermore, she didn't have any form of nausea or cravings, yet. There was no growing of her stomach, and certainly no flutters of a baby's existence. Either they were wrong, or she was barely a few weeks along.
She shut her eyes against the offensive words that Dean had spoken earlier in the night. He wanted to get rid of the baby.
He couldn't have said anything worse if he had tried. A lone tear fell down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.
Skylar knew that he loved her, and no matter what, he wouldn't just hand her over to be killed after giving Lucifer what he wanted; a key that was no longer broken.
So why would he say such a thing?
A soft knock rapped on the door, startling Skylar. "Sky?"
She cleared her throat before answering, pausing briefly.
"Yeah?" she asked, trying to keep her tone as light as humanly possible given the circumstances.
"It got really quiet," Dean said carefully, his voice full of concern and uncertainty. "I…was just making sure you were okay."
Skylar's heart ached for him, and despite being angry at him, it was so hard to stay mad. Was this what love was? Even when someone hurt you so badly, you were still willing to forgive them no matter what?
She feared that it wasn't love that made her continuously forgive Dean for all his many faults.
What if it was obsession?
She was obsessed with her husband and would always forgive him. That thought was terrifying. They hadn't been married long enough for him to screw up as badly as he could. What if he went back to drinking daily, sleeping with other women, and putting his hands on her? She wanted so badly to believe that she would leave despite having nowhere else to go.
When had she become so weak, possessing such little self-respect?
Taking a deep breath, Skylar knew that she would have to face him eventually without the buffer of Sam. Pamela was already back at her place and as usual, they were hauled up in some cheap motel, a little over hour from Bobby's where they would be headed to in the morning to collect the rest of their things; what little possessions they had anyway.
Skylar reached out to unlock the door but didn't move to open it. Instead, she waited several seconds before the knob turned like she expected it would. Dean stood in the doorway, leaning against its frame while gazing at her face for any sign that she was willing to talk to him. Unlike other times when she would step from the shower, he didn't look her up and down with lust in those beautiful green eyes. No. His attention was fully on her face, and somehow, that made her seem even more vulnerable.
There was nothing to distract his attention from the way she was feeling.
"Hey," he said, a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. It was the first word spoken between them since Lawrence.
"Hey," she replied in return with her own forced smile.
"Sky," Dean began, his arms folded in front of him as if were trying hard not to reach out and touch her. She was grateful for the momentary barrier. "I had a little talk on the plane with Sam, and – I know what you heard. I never meant for you to hear me say that. You know that I would never…what I mean to say is that I wouldn't harm you or our baby. You know that, right? I only said it because Lucifer had our backs against the wall and wouldn't let us out alive if I had told him flat out that I had no intention of giving him what he wanted."
"You don't want it," Skylar replied, biting down hard on her bottom lip after the words left her. It was a statement rather than a question. She knew he didn't want the baby. He loved her, so he was trying to say that he did. But no, he didn't want a child to look after and raise. She already knew that. And weather or not he had said those words for Lucifer's benefit, it didn't change the fact.
Dean stood up to his full height at her words.
"Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more important to me than you and that child," he said firmly, nodding his head towards her covered stomach, a determined look on his face. He was desperate for her to believe him.
"I know, Dean," she said in a whisper, clutching the towel tight in her hands. "But you don't want it."
Dean breathed out in exhaustion, shaking his head vigorously. Skylar wasn't sure if he was trying to convince her otherwise – or himself.
"The only reason you're alive and breathing is because you're pregnant. How could I not be happy about it? Tell me that?"
"Dean…" she began stepping forward, but quickly stopped when he backed away from her.
He was backing away from her?
"It wasn't supposed to happen like this," Dean said, talking more to himself than to her.
He looked more tired than she had ever seen him. Even when he returned from hell, the same Dean that she had always known had returned to her. He had just been slightly more closed off and abrasive. He would have shots of whisky for breakfast but would then turn in her direction and give her a heart stopping wink to let her know she should stop worrying. Everything would be alright.
Where was that reassurance? She needed his confidence now more than ever.
"Dean…" she began, but he backed further away, shaking his head in protest.
"It wasn't supposed to happen like this," he said again before slowly sliding himself up onto the counter next to the sink, looking down at his hands instead of at her before continuing. "You know that I love you. I love you so fucking much, and I know I shouldn't. Not yet."
"I love you, too," Skylar whispered despite telling herself to stop giving in to him so much, forgiving him at every turn. She couldn't stand to see him like this. But what did he mean by knowing he shouldn't love her?
At her declaration, the corner of his mouth did lift in the smallest of grins despite his head still bent. He was refusing to look at her.
"I've somehow convinced myself that you're not that same little girl that would force me to have tea parties and stick ribbons in my hair," he began to chuckle at the memory. "You would get so mad at me for keeping my hair short because those damn ribbons would always fall out. You would tell me to grow it out like Sammy's and I'd say, 'fuck no, I'm not a pussy.' Then you'd run and tell your Mom that I said bad words."
Skylar couldn't help but grin as she fondly remembered the same thing. Dean would always come and see her, just to hang out in her room and endure endless torture by a six-year-old.
He finally lifted his head to gaze at her, but the smile on his lips didn't quite meet his eyes. "You and I aren't natural, Baby Girl. We never have been. To someone else…anyone else – I'm just some sick bastard who married a kid."
"I'm not a kid," Skylar interjected firmly, hating that everyone continued to see her that way.
"I know," he whispered. "I've experienced firsthand that you've grown up. But it doesn't change the fact that you are only seventeen; just turned seventeen. And it's my fault I've let things go so far with you. You were supposed to finish high school, go to college, figure out what you wanted in life and then marry me. You never stood a chance to even find yourself. And I never should have taken advantage of you the way I have."
"I never needed any of that, and you have not taken advantage of me. I'm old enough to make up my own mind," Skylar said, moving to stand directly in front of Dean and between his parted legs. When she failed to catch his eye, she put both hands on the side of his face and forced him to look at her. "I've always known what I wanted. I used to hate when you'd leave because I knew it would be months before I'd see you again. As I got older, it became harder and harder to watch you drive away. And when," she paused briefly, forcing down the lump in her throat. "And when you died, a part of me died, too. For four months, I was so lost and alone. The thought of never seeing you again hu…hurt."
She hadn't noticed that it had happened, but somewhere along the way, she began to sob. These were not slow tears falling from her cheeks. No. She was full on bawling her eyes out at the despair she was remembering. This was a dangerous job, and at any moment, he could die again. She only prayed that next time, she could go with him.
At her full-on weeping, Dean's arms came around her in a tight embrace, one hand resting on the back of her damp hair. She held onto him with everything she had as he rocked lightly from side to side.
"Shhhh, baby. Please don't cry," he said in a comforting tone, his own voice cracking from emotion. "I know that me dying was hard on both of us, but I'm not going to let that happen again."
"You don't know that," she wailed dramatically, causing Dean to laugh in response.
"I do know that. I made a stupid mistake by selling my soul. I'd do anything for Sammy and I lost all of my senses when I did what I did. It wasn't only him I had to look out for, though. I had you, too, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left you. I'm not sure you and I will ever get over that time apart."
After that, they stayed where they were, both holding on to one another, her head buried in his solid chest. She breathed deep.
His scent was intoxicating. It always had been.
And this was where life had taken them, running from their own fates. One destined to be a warrior of heaven, the other a key to hell.
Fate or destiny, whatever you want to call it, brought them together, and nothing would ever tear them apart. She was sure of it. They had been through too much to give up and die now.
Not when they were about to start a new chapter in their lives.
For a moment, Skylar had forgotten that she was carrying their baby; just one more reason, and the most important reason of all, to keep on living.
"So, do think Lucifer and Pam are one-hundred percent right? That I'm pregnant?"
She pulled back to look up at Dean. He smoothed back her wet hair that was sticking to her cheeks from where her tears had dried. "Pam's never been wrong before," he answered. "Do you feel any different?"
Skylar shook her head no. "I don't feel anything, yet."
He made a small sound of understand. "It might too soon to tell if you aren't psychic," he teased lightly before becoming more serious. "Are you okay with it? The pregnancy? I never meant for this happen, Baby Girl. You once told me that...um, you said that you never wanted a baby with me."
Skylar put a hand against his lips, not wanting to talk about that time in their life when she felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest as he professed his love for another woman. "I was young and upset when I said that, Dean. I thought you were going to walk out of my life for good that night, and I wanted to hurt you anyway I knew how."
"I was a fucking moron, Sky. There's never been anyone else for me, but you. Even when you were an annoying ass kid. However, I still never meant for this happen."
Skylar drank in his words, loving the way he said there's never been anyone else for him but her. She chose to ignore his acknowledgment about her being an annoying child.
"You never meant for it to happen?" she asked with a sly smile. "I'm pretty sure we didn't try to prevent it, either."
"Yeah," Dean confirmed, nodding his head in mocked shame. "I've been a pretty naughty boy, haven't I?"
His last statement instantly sent a wave of heat coursing through her body to settle between her thighs. She had to clench her legs together to relieve the small throbbing ache. This was a bad time to get turned on, especially since only moments ago, she had soaked Dean's t-shirt in tears.
"I want the baby," Skylar said honestly, believing those words with every fiber of her being. She's never wanted anything more.
"So do I, Sweetheart," Dean whispered, laying his head on her forehead while rubbing his thumb gently along her cheek. "And I'm going to do whatever I have to to keep the both of you safe."
She believed him. Something inside of her told her that things were going to be different from now on. Somehow, she was now safer than she had ever been before. Lifting slightly on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his firmly, missing the way his mouth felt against her own. Instantly, he returned her hungry kiss, moving his mouth against hers expertly, his tongue lightly grazing her own.
Once again, she clenched her legs together as the heat of her core began to build. She wanted him to touch her. She needed for him to run his hands along her body and make the ache go away.
"I want you," she breathed against his lips, instantly crashing them back together. He groaned in her mouth at the declaration, but pulled back slightly, much to her disappoint. She was panting with need, his own breathing shallow.
"Wasn't I just saying a few minutes ago how I never should have taken advantage of you?" His tone was teasing, but she could tell that he was half serious, like what they were doing was somehow wrong. How could anything this perfect be wrong?
In response, Skylar moved her hands down his chest until they rested on the buttons on his jeans. She loved the way Dean's green eyes followed them closely as he waited for her to undo the clasp and pull down his zipper until his throbbing cock met her hungry gaze. She did just that, her mouth instantly beginning to water at the sight.
She'd only ever gone down on him once while he continued to bury his face between her thighs constantly like he would never be able to get enough. It had been at Bobby's a few nights after they had arrived there. He took the time to teach her how to please him. Up until that night, he'd always just make sure that she was taking care of.
She had gripped him tight, bobbing her head up and down while sucking him into her mouth. She knew that she was probably terrible at it, but she remembered the way he thrust his hips until he reached the back of her throat, making her gag in response. What should have been unpleasant, had instead been one of the most erotic things that they had ever experienced together.
While she was on her knees, he played with her, rubbing his fingers up and down her slit, sliding one finger inside until she exploded from his touch.
That night seemed so long ago as she stood here now, bending her head down to swirl her tongue around the head of his cock, reveling in the perfect taste of him. Dean let out the sexiest low groan imaginable as she opened her mouth wide, wrapping her lips around him before sucking hard back up his length.
"Fuck, baby," he breathed, his fingers moving to grip her hair tight. Like he had that night, he braced one hand against the counter, and thrust his hips up, fucking her mouth slowly, mimicking the same way he would slowly sink into her every time they made love.
She'd barely noticed that Dean had unwrapped the towel from her body, letting it fall to the floor. One hand reached under to cup her breast, pulling lightly on her nipple until she whimpered with need as her mouth continued to suck on him. She could feel it throbbing on her tongue. He was close. She wanted to taste all of him.
Instead, he stopped her before he could explode in her mouth.
Gripping the back of her hair and pulling until his cock sprang for mouth, she was forced to look up at him as she gasped for breath. "What do you want, Baby Girl. Tell me," he growled, starting to get a little rough with her, which he did sometimes when he couldn't suppress his need.
"You," she whimpered, nearly crying from how much she needed Dean to make her come. "I need you inside me."
"You need me to fuck that pretty little kitty," he said, making her knees go weak at his filthy words. If it weren't for the tight hold he had on her hair, she would have fallen.
She nodded her head weakly, her eyes growing heavy. Yes, yes she needed him. She needed him now more than ever.
Dean bit down on his full lip, allowing his lust filled gaze to travel up and down her tight young body. He paused briefly to lightly graze the bruises on her tender skin that Lucifer had inflicted only hours ago.
"Are you sure you can take it, beautiful?"
"I'm fine. Please," she begged, not sure how much more of this torture she could take.
Dean slid from the counter, lifting his t-shirt off his body in one motion before reaching down behind her knees to pick her up, one arm wrapped around her bottom as her center pressed firmly against his flat bare abdomen. He laid down with her on the bed, much gentler than she thought him capable of in that moment.
She bent her knees back, opening them as wide as she could, waiting for him to slam into her. Instead, he trailed kisses down her body, nibbling her neck lighting before pausing at each nipple to lick and suck until she was a writhing mess. Skylar was relieved when he started sinking down her body once more, stopping to drop a small kiss on her stomach. The tenderness caused her heart to squeeze though he he continued his decent until his breath found her center. Instead of starting at her clit and sucking it into his mouth like he always did, he instantly buried his tongue inside of her, causing her to cry out in sheer pleasure.
He delved in as far as he could before taking it back out, slowly torturing her, she was sure of it. The pleasure was unimaginable. He repeated the action over and over before withdrawing his tongue from her once again and pressing firmly while dragging it upwards until he settled on her clit, giving it a satisfying suck until it popped from his mouth.
Again, he went back to her opening and dipping inside, groaning before placing the smallest of kisses. "Those little pussy muscles are going crazy, sweetheart. Mmmm, you're so fucking wet. Rub your pussy for me, baby. I need to watch you make that little cunt come for me."
His filthy words were out of control. Skylar was hesitant. She'd never done that in front of Dean before. In fact, she hadn't touch herself since before they were married. She really had no need to since Dean had started making love to her.
"Come on, Baby Girl. Don't get all shy on me now," he said with a grin and one of those heart stopping winks that she loved so much. He reached up to cup one of her full breasts while she placed a finger where Dean was desperate for her to touch, and started rubbing in slow circles, instantly making her shake.
"That's my girl," Dean encouraged, watched every moved she made with complete awe. With his free hand, he guided her hand downward until she dipped a finger inside, a little embarrassed by how wet she really was. He hadn't been joking.
As she slipped it back out, he caught it in his mouth and sucked. "Shit, I'm never going to be able to get enough of your taste. He went back to sliding his tongue in and out her as she rubbed her clit. She could feel herself building dangerously, and despite laying comfortably on the bed, she was desperately grabbing onto anything to keep herself from falling.
She held onto his hand; the one that continued to rub her breast gently, his thumb lightly grazing back on forth on her taunt nipple.
"D…Dean," she breathed, arching her back.
"That's it, baby. Come for me."
At his encouragement, she exploded over the edge, her muscles clenching around his tongue that had paused inside of her the moment she orgasmed.
As she slowly came back to earth, she could feel Dean's hot and labored breath as he kissed her sensitive clit before moving up her body and settling between her thighs. He pressed into her without warning, filling her completely. He hadn't bothered to take his jeans off first. She was surprised at how gentle his hips were rocking given their mutual animalistic need.
He kissed her with each thrust of his body, one hand behind her knee to keep her wide open for him.
She must have come over a half dozen times, each time with Dean telling her how perfect she was and how much he would always love her.
