Chapter 56: Fevered Dreams

It was Toph that noticed first. She'd positioned herself in the saddle so that she was by Zuko's head. She could feel him shifting about and moving slightly.

She said, "Uh, guys? Is he awake?"

Katara, who had dropped into a very light doze with her hand on Zuko's, shot back to alertness.

She examined the Firebender and saw that his eye was squeezed shut; she could see rapid movement underneath his eyelid, like it darting about. She also noticed a sheen of sweat that had developed on his forehead.

She reached out and placed her palm on his cheek, recoiling at the temperature.

"He's still out, but he's way too hot, even for him. I think he's got a fever."

Aang called back worriedly, "What do we do? Should we land somewhere?"

Katara bit her lip, thinking. She said, "Yeah, somewhere near water if you can. Somewhere safe, too. Hidden. We might need to be there a while."

Aang nodded to himself and began scanning the scenery below, searching for somewhere like Katara described.

A few minutes later he shouted, "What about there?"

Sokka looked over, following the Avatar's finger. He called out, "Looks good, Aang. Try and take us down gently, okay?"

Aang nodded without looking back.


Zuko didn't know where he was. It was dark and it was very cold. His breath was misting every time he exhaled. Fog swept around his ankles, making the ground difficult to discern. He stoked his inner fire, trying to counteract the cold, but it just got worse the higher he built up the flame.

He could hear whispers in the dark. Barely there, unintelligible, but just audible. In the distance he could hear something, like the tolling of a bell. It was growing steadily louder.

"Who's there?" He called into the dark. He tried to summon fire to his palm, but nothing happened. He focused harder, trying to ignite his chi. Still nothing.

The bell got louder and louder. He almost had to clamp his hands over his ears.

"Why isn't it working?" He growled, still trying.

"Because you're not really here." He startled at the voice and turned. Vaguely he noted that the bell had stopped ringing.

He frowned at the girl. He knew her; how did he know her?

Images flashed through his mind. A silver disc that went to red, to black, and then to bright, shining white. A girl, clothed in blue, crouched down beside a koi pond.

"Yue." He breathed, suddenly out of breath. He swayed a little on his feet.

She smiled at him. It was a nice smile, he thought dazedly. A gentle smile.

She said, "Hello, Zuko."

"What…" He shook his head, trying to clear it. "What are you doing here?"

He thought some more and said, "Are you here?"

The girl who became the Moon shrugged, a gesture he wasn't sure he'd ever seen her perform in real life.

"I'm here as much as you are."

He frowned at her, lips moving as he thought about what she'd said. Eventually he replied, "That's not a helpful statement."

She shook her head, still smiling at him. "I know. I'm sorry. It's the best I can offer though. I am the Moon Spirit, after all; I've got to have a little mystery around me."

That made him laugh, which made her smile a little wider. She smiled more than she ever had in life, he noted absently. The thought made him both happy and sad.

"So, if you are actually here, and I'm actually here, where is here? And why are we here?"

She thought about it. "As for where we are… well, it's as much in your head as it is anywhere. When it comes to why… You tell me. What put you in this position, Zuko?"

He remembered; he knew he did, just as he knew that he didn't want to think about it. Not yet.

He shook his head. "I think we should talk about something else, Yue."

Her smile dimmed a little. She nodded. "That's part of the problem, Zuko. You not wanting to talk about things."

He frowned at that. "I talk."

She nodded. "You do, about inconsequential things, or if you're pushed and pressured into more serious topics. You don't lie, as a rule, but you do leave out details, don't you?"

He shook his head. He said, "I get that you're a Spirit now, but there's no need to parrot back my own words."

She snorted in a way that was unlike both a Princess and a Moon Spirit, but was very much like an amused teenage girl.

She said, "Sorry, I honesty couldn't resist."

He waved the apology away.

She continued, "You've been hurt, Zuko. You know that. You know why. You know who did it."

He nodded. Yue kept speaking. "It's not the first time you've been hurt by your family. In fact, I believe it would be safe to say that you associate pain with them, more than you do love."

He clenched his teeth. His hands curled to fists at his sides. He growled, "What's the point of this?"

"Because, while you have chosen to side yourself against your father, you have yet to acknowledge the pain caused by the rest of your family."

He shook his head. "I know what Azula did. I know why she did it. Because he made her do it. Because he's spent the entirety of her life dripping poison into her ears until it bled into her brain, her soul, her spirit. He tainted her with his own malice."

Yue nodded. "This is true. But the same could also be said about you."


They'd landed beside a small lake. It was surrounded by woodland, save for a small mountain range. Toph had taken the liberty of creating a fairly large cave within the mountain; one with tunnels branching off that they could use to escape in an emergency.

Katara and Sokka were stood in the saddle, one at either end of Zuko, preparing to lift him onto Toph's risen earth platform. Aang stood nearby, ready to cushion the Firebender with air should it be necessary.

They loaded him on, and lowered him down, with minimal trouble; though Sokka did grumble under his breath about the Firebender's weight.

Katara said tiredly, "Just be thankful he isn't wearing his armour."

Then she frowned sadly. "Though, if he was, he probably wouldn't be in this situation."

Toph used her Earthbending to transport Zuko into her handmade cave.

She lowered him down until he was flush with the floor. She stepped back, making room for Katara; she kept her senses trained on the Firebender though.

His pule felt too fast for her liking. She voiced this to the Waterbender.

Katara picked up his wrist and held her fingers against it, counting softly under her breath.

She answered, "It is kinda fast, but nothing to worry about yet."

She nodded down at him. "We probably ought to get him out of that shirt though so I can apply a salve to that burn and wrap it up."

Sokka asked, "Why didn't you do that earlier?"

"Yugoda told me that it's good to let a burn breathe sometimes. Let it dry out a little before you apply anything."

Sokka nodded in understanding. Katara reached to Zuko's belt and drew his dagger.

Her eyes were drawn to the ornate inscription along the blade. Never give up without a fight. She smiled slightly; she didn't think she'd ever heard anything that summed the Firebender up so aptly.

She carefully began to cut away the charred remains of Zuko's shirt off his unconscious body. It was only when she did that she truly saw his torso.

It was something she'd thought slightly unusual while he'd been travelling with them. Both Aang and Sokka were fairly quick to remove their shirts, and more if they went swimming, while Zuko had never deigned to. Even she was more likely to strip down to her underclothes to swim, or to practice her bending.

She didn't think she'd ever seen Zuko shirtless. She was beginning to realise why.

She heard Aang gasp behind her, and Sokka cursed under his breath.

Toph said, "What? What is it?"

There were scars. A lot of them.

Along the right side of his ribcage were a series of nicks and cuts; a mix of white, silver, and pink lines that criss-crossed one another.

There were burn marks along his forearms, some of which looked reminiscent of handprints.

There was a fairly fresh scar on his left shoulder. A puckered pink mark with a cross cutting through it.

The slash near his hip looked like it had been deep and painful, caused by a sword or maybe the sweep of a spear.

A particularly worrying set of scar came around his ribcage on both sides; they looked like they originated on his back and were made by fire.

Katara breathed, "There's so many."

Sokka nodded, saying nothing.

Toph stamped her foot and said angrily, "What? What is it? What are you looking at?"

Katara cleared her throat and pushed down her natural instinct to snap at the younger girl.

"There are… Zuko has scars. A lot of scars."

The Earthbender paused. "More than the one on his face?"

Katara said, "Yeah."

She also wondered how the girl knew about Zuko's facial scar as she was pretty sure none of them had told her about it; unless Zuko had?

Katara shook herself. She said, "Aang, I need you to go grab my bag off of Appa."

"On it." The Airbender darted out, leaving a gust of wind in his wake.

Katara continued, "Sokka, I need you to lay out a bedroll so we can try and make him more comfortable."

"Right." Her brother said, hurrying to go grab one.

"What about me?" Toph said.

Katara sighed. "I need you to keep track of his heartbeat for me. If it starts to get weird, tell me. Too fast, too slow; just any change, okay?"

The little Earthbender nodded seriously. "Okay. I can do that."

She settled herself down by Zuko's side, both hands and feet in contact with the earth.

Katara also knelt, trying to get comfortable. She pulled some water from her flask and wreathed her hands in it. She placed them over the wound in his chest and closed her eyes.

The water glowed.


Zuko felt this strange, dark world begin to shake. Dark clouds gathered over his head and thunder rumbled. Lightning forked across, shattering the black with blinding light.

He stumbled to his knees. He said to Yue, "What's happening?"

But the girl was gone.

He closed his eyes and tried to ride out the storm.


Katara had applied a burn salve that she'd acquired from Yugoda before they left the North Pole. Then she'd wrapped it in fresh bandages. Sokka, Aang, and Toph had had to hold the Firebender up and steady as she applied the bandages. Doing so had allowed them to see Zuko's back.

The thought of it made her stomach twist. It made her angry to think about.

He'd been whipped. Most likely with fire. The marks crossed all across his back. Most of them looked old; older than the scar on his face, at least. The thought made her even angrier. He'd been a child; somebody had beaten a child with fire whips. Katara was certain she knew who had been responsible for the cruelties inflicted upon her friend.

They'd settled Zuko back on the bedroll and covered him up with all the spare blankets they could find. Sokka had built a fire near the cave mouth.

She'd made a quick soup over said fire and they were eating slowly. They should all probably try and finish soon so they could finally get some well-deserved sleep.

She'd eyed Zuko. Well, she thought, the others needed to get some sleep. She'd try and stay awake so that she could monitor Zuko's condition.

He'd been vaguely restless. She'd heard him muttering in his sleep.

'… dripping poison… tainted her… malice…'

None of it had made much sense to her. He'd fallen quiet for the time being, quiet and still. He almost looked peaceful, though there was still a tension around his eyes.

She'd removed his eyepatch when they'd settled him down. She'd noticed, as they'd travelled together, that Zuko never seemed to take it off. The only time he had was when he'd shown them what his father had done to him. She didn't want to cross some boundary that he'd put in place, but she couldn't imagine that it was comfortable to sleep in. She was sure that he only kept it on so much because he was travelling with them and didn't want them looking at it.

She'd resolved herself to making sure Zuko was more comfortable around them.

Sokka said quietly, "So what do we do now?"

She looked up from her soup. "What do you mean?"

He jerked his chin towards Zuko. "Do we stay here while he gets better, or do we move on again in a day or two? Should Toph start teaching Aang? What's the plan?"

"Thought you were the plan guy?" She remarked with a smirk.

He shrugged, not rising to her bait. He said, "Clearly Zuko isn't going to be on his feet any time soon. I just think we should know what we're doing."

She nodded. Aang asked, "He'll be okay though, right?"

Katara sighed. "Physically? Yeah, he'll be fine. He just needs time and rest. And a lot of healing sessions with me."

Toph asked in a low voice, "What about other than physically?"

She sighed again. She said, "His… his sister almost killed him. That's—that's messed up. Like… I can't even put it into words, you know. How—how is he going to deal with it?"

Aang bowed his head. Katara thought she saw his eyes glisten as he did so.

Sokka snarled quietly, "First his dad mutilates him and now his sister tries to finish the damned job. His family, it's just so—Ugh!"

He slammed his fist against the ground beside him. Aang said in a watery voice, "He's so kind though."

Katara frowned. "What do you mean, Aang?"

The Avatar looked up and, yes, there were tears in his large, grey eyes. "He's so good. Can you imagine him doing even half the stuff we've seen Azula do?"

They shook their heads; even Toph for all that she'd barely fought the Princess.

Katara couldn't help but say, "Teo said he killed people. Bandits."

Aang nodded, sighing. A troubled expression took over his face. "I know."

Sokka chimed in with, "He did on Kyoshi too. There was a Firebender coming at me and he just—" he mimed slashing a sword. "—Cut the guy's hand off."

Katara said in a small voice, "Is it wrong if I think that's bad?"

Sokka said firmly, "It's war, Katara. People kill and die in war."

She nodded. "I know that, I do, it's just…"

She paused. Sokka asked, "What?"

She nodded over at the Firebender. "I asked him how old he was. When we were the Northern Air Temple. He wouldn't tell me. But… he can't be that much older than you, Sokka."

Her brother nodded, sighing. "Yeah, I know. He seems it, but he's probably not."

Aang said, "The monks always taught me that all life is sacred. Every single life whether they're a king or an ant. It doesn't matter. It's why I'm vegetarian. But… I don't think Zuko is a bad person. Even if he has killed. I—"

He paused and then said slowly, "I want to believe that he did what he had to, that he didn't have a choice."

Sokka sighed again. "People die in war, Aang. It's why we're trying to stop it. So that people stop dying and people can stop killing."

He was quiet then, not wanting to get further into a moralistic debate with the Air Nomad.

Toph asked Katara, "Will he wake up soon?"

Katara shrugged her shoulders. Out loud she said, "It's… hard to say. It might be a few days yet."

Toph nodded.


Zuko spent what felt like years knelt there, in the dark, with his arms clutching his head and his eyes squeezed shut.

The lightning storm had died down, but he'd been reluctant to let go of his skull. He hurt. Every part of him was agony.

A voice whispered kindly to him. "Do not avoid the pain, my Nephew."

He opened his eyes and lowered his arms, disbelieving what he was hearing.

At the edge of the darkness there was a long, sinuous shape. Zuko could make out a pattern of shimmering scarlet scales.

He croaked, "Uncle?"

"Yes, my Nephew. I am here. You should not avoid pain, Nephew. Pain… it hurts, yes, but it can also make you kind. Your suffering has forged a powerful sense of empathy within you, Nephew. Compassion the likes of which I've seldom seen."

Zuko shook his head. "No, Uncle, I'm… No."

There was a clattering of claws on stone and then Iroh said, "Yes, my Nephew. Yes. Your path is one of pain, it always has been and I have been unable to shield you from it, but it has not dulled your shine.

"Your destiny leads to greatness, Nephew. Follow it. Do not let fear and suffering block your path. Go, go to the Ringed City, Nephew. Destiny awaits you."

Zuko felt dizzy. He slurred, "You… you said… said that in the swamp."

"Yes, Nephew. Go to Ba Sing Se."

"Uncle, I miss you. I—where are you?"

A pause. Then a huff of breath and smoke that smelled of pleasant spices. Something blew into Zuko's line of sight, drifting gently towards him. It brushed his fingertips.

He picked it up and examined it. It was a lotus flower.

Uncle whispered, "I await you, Nephew."