Youve made it this far! Some more happy moments and a shot at forgiveness

"Lord I can't even keep to my own word", Eliza laughed as she cuddled into her husband.

"Please don't kick me out again", he begged her, she would swear she saw tears in his eyes. Eliza laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"I won't. I promise", she did regret being so harsh with him. She kept herself telling herself he deserved it but did anyone deserve to have their emotions played with?

She heard him sniffling back tears. His breathing had sped up. Then again their previous actions could account for that.

"I love you, my dearest", Eliza drew circles on his stomach.

"You're too pure for this world, my angel", Alexander wrapped one arm around her back and moved her hair out the way with his other hand.

His chest hair tickled her face causing her to laugh.

"You used to tickle me all the time", Eliza commented. She immediately regretted it when he tickled her.

"No!" She laughed.

Alexander flipped them.

"I don't have the energy anymore", he smiled, kissing her again. Eliza nodded, out of breath again.

"Me neither", she whispered in between kisses.

"Mommy are you coming?" John asked her. He held a book in one hand and a blanket in the other. Oh god the kids are just downstairs.

Alexander laughed, rolling off of her. Eliza didn't think her cheeks could blush this much.

"Yes sweetie", Eliza sat up. She only had her slip on. John climbed into the bed. Eliza glared at Alexander.

"Get clothes on", she mouthed to him as he was only in his underwear. The boy was too young to know what they were doing. She smiled at John.

"Where are we going?" Eliza asked John, pulling him onto her lap.

"Stay here. Will you read me this book?" He handed the book to her.

"What were you and Papa doing?" He watched Alexander get dressed. Eliza groaned silently behind the boy.

"Help?" She mouthed to Alexander. What they definitely weren't going to do was tell him what sex was. What if he told someone mommy and daddy were naked in bed together?

"Sometimes adults need naps too buddy", Alexander kissed his cheek. Then kissed Eliza. The boy accepted that answer.

Eliza opened the book and read it to him. Alexander smirked.

"Will I send the rest of the kids up? I'm sure they'd love to hear you read", he asked. Eliza blushed, glaring at him. He better not!

"No just me and mommy", John pouted, hugging Eliza.

"Okay. I won't mention it. I'll be in my office. I've some work to catch up on", he smiled at them. Eliza smiled back, nodding. She continued reading the book.

"Papa wait", John called to him. Alexander stopped in the doorway. John ran to him, kissing his cheek and giving him a hug. "Love you Papa". He sat back in his mommy's lap. Eliza put hand over her heart, feeling it melt. She smiled, hugging him from behind as she read the book. Alexander smiled going to his office.

Once she finished the book, Eliza got dressed again.

"John, will we go to the park?" She asked him. He grinned.

"Yes, please!" He jumped up and down on the bed.

"John", Eliza warned him. He stopped with one look from her. "Good boy".

Eliza pulled her hair back, putting on a wig instead of doing her hair. She sighed at the grey hairs. What she would do to have her brown hair back.

John ran downstairs to tell James they were going to the park. Eliza followed them.

"We're going to the park. Who wants to come?" She asked them. Philip shook his head.

"Pa gave me work to do", Philip said from his law book. Eliza nodded.

"I'll go", Alex agreed, putting on his jacket and shoes. Eliza picked up William from the floor where he was playing Philip's old toys. James got his jacket and shoes on. He ran outside to play with Alex. John joined them.

Eliza brought William up to her room. She nursed him until he fell asleep. It only took 5 or 10 minutes. She carried him into Alexander's office.

"I'm leaving William in here with you. He should be asleep for the next 2 hours. I'm going to the park with the kids. Philip is downstairs doing the work you gave him", she put William down on the couch before covering him with a blanket. Alexander nodded, not looking up from his office. It amused her how fixated he could be.

"I'm moving to Paris while I'm gone", she told him. He nodded.

"Mhmm okay love you", he replied. Eliza laughed. He's not listening to her.

"Love you too".

Eliza took John's hand as they walked to the park. James and Alex walked behind them.

"Mom can we go swimming?" Alex asked. Eliza laughed.

"We've no towels or clean clothes. Maybe tomorrow. Alexander would have to be with us. If one of you can drag him away from his work then you can go swimming", she told them.

John groaned.

"But Papa never stops working", he complained. Alex sighed.

"He used to work less, John. That was before he published the... He'll take a break if we ask", Alex smiled at his mother, taking her other hand.

"I'll help you convince him boys don't fret", she sat down at a bench as the boys ran off to play games. Eliza wiped a tear from her cheek. When did her 12 year old know about the affair? It was like being stabbed in the heart every time one of them fully understood the gravity of what Alexander did. Eliza closed her eyes, inhaling deep breaths. She couldn't cry on a bench in the middle of Manhattan. She'd be the gossip of the city.

Eliza went straight to her husband's office once they returned home. The boys were in the kitchen having a snack. Eliza thanked the lord that William was still asleep. She silently pushed Alexander's work to the side. The sound of crumbling parchment and Alexander inhaling sharply being the only things keeping her in the present moment.

She felt tears flowing down her cheeks. Alexander stood between her legs, hugging her.

"Alex knows", she whispered to him. She wanted to keep them all from the harsh reality that is life in the public eye. She didn't need to explain what Alex knows. He knew.

"I love you. My sweet, sweet angel. I am so sorry. It grieves my heart that I am causing you pain even months later", Alexander held her close to him.

"The boys want to go swimming with you tomorrow", she sniffled. Alexander nodded.

"Of course I'll go swimming with them", he agreed.

"I love you too", she whispered before kissing him. "You know I would have forgiven you if you just had an affair. You didn't have to publish it". Eliza confessed, keeping her focus on the papers on his desk.

"Eliza please don't say that. Please don't say such things", he begged her.

"Why shouldn't I?" She challenged him, shrugging her shoulders.

Eliza could hear her heart beat in the silence that fell between them. She finally looked him in the eyes. They were filled with shame and guilt.

"What did she do that I don't?" Eliza asked him. That was the last question he expected from her. He shook his head.

"She could never compare to you. You're so beautiful and full of honour and grace", he cried.

"Then why did you sleep with her? I'm beautiful, full of honour and grace. Of course I am. Any high born maiden is all those things. Am I boring?" She asked, not knowing if she wanted the answer.

"No. You're spontaneous. You are full of adventure. You're admirable by all who meet you. You engross my thoughts. You are my charmer. You're my love", Alexander complimented her. Eliza sighed, she walked straight out heading for the gardens. Alexander followed her. She stopped half way up the path.

"My love. What must I do to gain your full affection back? You're my charmer. Please give me the pleasure in knowing that I own my wife's affections. For if I bid this earthly body I wish to remain with you for eternity", he fell to his knees as he begged her. Eliza looked down at him, tears escaped her own eyes. She sat on the bench, ignoring him. He took her hand.

"Betsey. Please, I love you", he kissed her hands. Eliza smiled at the gesture.

"Get up. You're acting like a fool. Do you think you could confess your love and I would say I forgive you, my dearest", she tucked a stray hair from his face.

"We'll never be the same, will we?" He asked her, sitting up on the bench beside her. Eliza leant into him.

"No we won't. You cannot break a vase and then glue it back together again", she sighed. The only way they'd get back to normal was for her to forgive Alexander.

"I forgive you but I'm not forgetting what you did. Let it be known that I am forgiving you so that I can heal", she held up their interlocked hands before kissing his knuckles.

Alexander was looking away. She could hear his tears.

"Alexander I love you. I'm not as good with my words as you are but I'll just say this. If I could go back to when we first met. I wouldn't change a thing. I have an intelligent, caring and handsome husband and 6 wonderful kids. I still cherish being your wife", she bent down plucking weeds from around the roses.

He smiled at her.

"Eliza that proves your love more than any words I could string together", he cupped her cheeks, kissing her. Eliza smiled back. God his eyes still made her blush.

"I remember that day. It's one thing failing when it's only yourself that you have to fend for. I felt like such a disappointment. Then seeing your stomach swollen with pregnancy, I could have laughed with the joy it brought me", he smiled. "I didn't want to disappoint you. You know you calm me like no other. I have these debates with congress, other gentlemen or even Angelica. You know me I always insist my way is correct, mainly because it usually is. I know I'm stubborn". He laughed before continuing. "I feel the need to fight to show that I am at the same level with them.I'm sorry if I'm not making sense. I never felt that way with you. You make me feel safe. I feel a sense of calm when you're around".

Eliza hugged him tightly.

"I love you too", she kissed him purring her love into the kiss.

"I've another trip coming up in June", he informed her as they walked back inside. Eliza nodded. It didn't surprise her when he had work trips now.

"I beg you please write to me this time. It pains me when I don't know if you're in good health", he opened the door for her. Eliza shook her head.

"Alex I was mad at you last time you were away", she kissed his cheek. Alexander frowned.

"Uhh. That makes sense", he nodded. Sometimes he couldn't pick up on the subtle things. He was too busy imagining the bigger picture.

After this the next chapter is in 1799. I feel so anxious the closer we get to 1801 :/