Thanksgiving is something Meg and the others have come to enjoy and look forward to each year now that they have lived long enough among Americans.

Meg is the domestic goddess, Hestia, Demeter, Persephone all live within her and she uses these gifts to cook and make festive, delicious meals. She also gets a little bit aggressive during the days leading up to it and the day of.

The kitchen is off limits, you do not go in the kitchen or ask Meg questions. You do not touch anything. You do not look at anything. If Meg tells you to do something, you do it. No questions. Just actions.


"Where are the apples," Meg asks, she is holding a mixing bowl, her blonde hair is up, a mess and covered in flour and dough. RC is eating a banana and he shrugs.

"The apples are for the pie." Meg says her voice deadly calm.

"I don't know." Charles says, and he turns the volume on the louder. Sorelli covers her mouth with her hands and turns to face Meg.

"Your neighbor asked to borrow some, I thought, love thy neighbor. You know, it is the season." Sorelli smiles and then bows her head in humility.

"The neighbor. Well, the neighbor is going to have a good fucking pie isn't she? Because fuck this house! Now if anyone wants to get that Dutch Apple Pie, someone is going to have to go to the store and pray to all the damn gods that there is one seedling left, because I cannot do everything! Can one of you do this thing? Oh, can you?" Meg is on the verge of hysterics. She curtsies mockingly and goes back to the kitchen.

Nadir is used to being the hero, and the hero usually gets the first dibs on the sweets and Nadir loves Meg pies so he's out the door before Meg finished her rant.


The fire alarm goes off and Meg curses and there are several banging sounds, and everyone stares at each other. Meg banned everyone from the kitchen, but if she needs help, and then again, she did get ban hammer Thor on everyone.

"Mom, you good?" RC asks. There is more banging and cursing. The alarm finally ceases.

"I'll be good when I'm dead!" She shouts and then the kitchen timers go off. RC and the others try to relax.

Nadir returns with a bag of apples he runs to the kitchen to show off his loot, Meg grabs the bag and pushes him out of the kitchen.

"Oh, the damn Muslim is the only one who has a heart and gives a shit life and happiness, praise the sultana,"

Nadir has a lot he could say about that, but Meg has access to a lot of sharp objects and hot objects. He smiles awkwardly and goes back to his seat on the sofa.

Meg will return to her sweet, playful, caring self, soon. Once the meal is done. Once the meal is done and the dishes are put away.


Christine braves it and tries to help in the kitchen. She only ends confusing the timers with the wrong dishes and nearly burns the stuffing.

"Oh my god, why don't you just go out and do Erik, because that's clearly the only thing you're good at!" Meg throws a spoon at Christine who ducks and runs.

Raoul consoles her as she cries.


"What the hell is this?" Meg appears in front of the TV holding a can of cranberry sauce. She sends a glare at each of the men and women.

"That's a can," Sorelli says. Charles ssh's her, trying to keep her protected from the Giry wrath.

"I asked for cranberries." Meg hair tosses and her eyes are on fire.

"You did and that's what that is." RC says.

"Is it?" She turns her head to her son.

He's not used to his mother's ire and anger; RC is nervous and doesn't know what to do. He looks to his father for an assist, a save, a way out. Papas protect Sons from angry Mamas. Erik is not one to shirk his fatherly duties and he steps up to bat.

"You can use the can, it's fine," Erik says. Meg makes a strange sound from the back of her throat and looks at the can.

"Can I? Let's see," She throws it at his head. She laughs.

"Yes, I can! You've been canned!" Meg turns around and strides back to the kitchen.

No one says another word or makes any sudden movements. They all wait with bated breath. They are frozen in horror and they wait for Erik to make the first move. He picks up the can, turns it. He taps his head, no damage. His mask is still on, his wig is still in place, looking like his natural hair and looks good and well styled.

Erik turns the can. The sound is low, like a bass being plucked delicately and then it changes to a different tone and pitch. He's laughing, he stands up, holding onto the can and laughing.

Everyone is still holding their breath and he walks around the sofa and out to the kitchen. Everyone turns their bodies and heads to the kitchen and they wait in anticipation and horror as to what comes next. Is this the straw the broke the camel's back? Has Meg Giry finally gone too far with her tricks and games, and Erik will finally end her run of the production?

They wait, they lean forward, and they turn their ears, and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

No sounds of death.

Nadir is the brave one. He jumps over the sofa and cautiously walks to the kitchen, gets low and peers around the corner. He lets out the breath he's been holding.

Meg is chopping vegetables and Erik is making the cranberry sauce at the stove. We're good people! It's fine! Meg Giry is still amusing and her contract is not up yet! Fix those lights and remember your cues!


Meg is holding a very large glass of wine and joins the others. She sits down next to Erik and twirls the wine in her glass.

"I was getting really annoyed and hot, and then I remembered wine exists." Meg raises her glass and takes a generous sip. Once she finishes, Erik takes it and has his own generous take. Meg takes it back, she glares at him, and turns her head away.

"So, how is everyone out here? It feels so cool, like an ice box. Not like the hellfire in the kitchen. Why don't we have fan? God that was a stupid oversight." Meg shakes her head and takes another sip.


The meal is finally prepared and ready. Everyone picks up a plate and goes around the table and piles food and takes their seat. Meg watches everyone from the kitchen, casually sips her wine and waits. She eats last, the chef always eats last. Once the buffet line is done, Meg finds her place and sits down.

"I guess we could say what we're thankful for. I'll go. I'm thankful for the big strong men in my life who will put away all of this and do the dishes. And the genius who thought of wine. I love him. I want to meet him, marry him, bathe in him." Meg finishes her wine.

"Xanax." Sorelli says.

"Modern technology?" Charles shrugs.

"Covid-19 making it so I don't have to be around people, but you know, I'm no longer "antisocial," RC says.

"Ditto." Erik says.

"Oh! Eric," Meg sips her wine, Erik places his hand on the inside of her thigh," Roberts. Bless him. My favorite psycho."

Erik takes Meg's wine from her and finishes it, he hands her the empty the glass back.

"I'm thankful we're together," Jules says quietly.

"Hear, hear, bestie," Nadir says as he leans into Jules. He'll let him have this one. Jules smiles brightly.

"Another year together, and no one killed each other! Progress! Remember when Raoul and Erik would fight each other on sight? Now look at them? Breaking bread together, not their bodies." Charles says as he stands up. Raoul shrugs and everyone raises a glass to that.

"Fuck you 2020, happy Thanksgiving it to you!"


Meg passes out eventually from the stress of the day and wine. Erik carries her with great care to the bedroom, he tucks her in and turns out the light.

The others are arguing who is to clean the dishes and kitchen,

"This suit is too delicate! I cannot get it dirty!" Jules whines.

"Whoever does the dishes and cleans the kitchen will get a gift or wish, debt free." Erik says as he casually clean his gloves. Everyone runs into the kitchen and fights to clean it. Erik walks over to the sofa, he falls backwards and turns on the television and relaxes.

Works like a charm each year. Erik hasn't had to clean a damn dish for over 80 years. He folds his arms behind his head and smiles devilishly. He's the best puppeteer ever.