TRIGGER WARNINGS: The following themes are in this fic: self-harm, addiction, homophobia, abuse, abandonment, self-destructive behaviors and thoughts, suicidal thoughts. If you are not into serious angst, depression, and dark fics, feel free to skip this one.

Chapter 32

It hadn't even been a week and he was scared. He was okay with being there for someone, but a part of Blaine wasn't sure. He was sure of his feelings for Kurt but he wasn't sure of how far he could go to support him. He never wanted to go back to Ohio. He left there with such deep feelings of disgust, and rejection that he had made an oath to never go back. But here he was, less than a month later, boarding a flight to Columbus at 5 am. He knew that if he didn't go, and if he didn't show up for Kurt, he would regret it. But he was also not ready to go back there and wasn't sure he was ready to be someone's rock after having gone for years completely, and utterly alone. But he was going to try.

When he arrived in Columbus, he got into an uber and made his way to a small home in Lima. Kurt had been so out of it that he couldn't even remember his address, but luckily was able to share his location using his iPhone with Blaine. As he rode to Kurt's house he attempted to mentally shove aside everything that was bubbling to the surface from being back in Ohio and tried his best to lay it to rest in a box in the back of his mind. He wanted to be there for Kurt, and not be drowned in his own stuff. So, he shoved it all aside and it's a good thing he did, because when he walked into the house, he found Kurt on the bathroom floor with an empty bottle of gin next to him, and a bottle of pills on the sink. Blaine took a deep breath, trying not to freak out or think the worst.

"Kurt. Kurt honey"

Blaine took a huge breath of relief when Kurt opened his eyes, slightly confused.

"What're you doing here? I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this". Kurt said confused and groggy, and he could feel his head pounding from the fluorescent bathroom light.

"Kurt honey. Why don't we get you changed, and get some water and Tylenol in you." Blaine went into caregiver mode and cared for Kurt like his mother did when he was a child. And after Kurt was cleaned up and in bed to sober up a little, Blaine sat there and watched him. Allowing himself to be present and feel a little of every emotion he had bottled up. He was so enamored with Kurt. He looked so calm when he slept, and he was so beautiful, and Blaine wanted to be with him. But Blaine also felt so much fear. What was he going to do about Kurt's addictions? He didn't want anything bad to happen to Kurt, and he was obviously not doing well, and it was scary. Blaine wasn't doing well either and he knew it. Sure, Kurt had come along, and they had their talk, and now that he had him in his life he was happier but he wasn't truly content. A part of him feared that Kurt would leave him just like others had. A part of Blaine was still in pain from the rejection of his parents. And even though the past couple of weeks Blaine had put on a brave face, acting as though he was this new person, deep down, he was still hurting.

When Kurt woke, he woke a new person. "Hey, Blaine." He said quietly. It was now about 1 pm and Blaine had only been asleep in the desk chair next to Kurt's bed for about 45 minutes when he heard the angelic voice. "Hey baby, how are you feeling?" Kurt sighed happily, "I'm feeling a lot better. And I hate to say this, don't take it wrong, but how'd you get here?" Blaine sighed, a little sad that Kurt had gotten so wasted that he hadn't remembered last night. But he couldn't blame him, and of course, he wasn't mad, just a bit sad. "So, you called me this morning at 3 am, and you sounded really drunk, and I was really worried. I asked if you needed me and you said yes. So, I hopped on a flight at 5 am and got here at around 8. When I found you, you looked pretty rough, so I got you changed and put you to bed". Blaine hadn't expected Kurt to suddenly start crying, face red, and tears streaming. Blaine instantly climbed into bed next to Kurt and held him.

"Why are you crying baby?" "I've just never been cared for that kindly by a boyfriend. Thank you so much for coming. I'm sorry I'm a mess". Blaine's heart hurt. "Don't apologize Kurt. Your dad had a stroke, of course, I'd be here for you".

They spent an hour just holding onto one another. Breathing in rhythm and feeling one another's warmth. There's something so beautiful about being able to breathe in someone you love and want, and who already has taken up residence in your heart. And in those moments, all the worry and what-ifs fade away.

They finally make it to the hospital at around 3 PM, and as soon as they get there, Kurt takes up permanent residence sitting next to his fathers' bed, with his father's hand in his own. Kurt doesn't believe in prayer but at this moment, he feels the need to pray. He cries sometimes, and other times he just sits there stoic, and numb. He snuck a couple of pills in before coming so he wouldn't be sobbing the entire time. But he was trying to do better with the drinking. He was slightly ashamed that he had such a rough night. And that he even got Blaine to fly out because of it. It was his mess to clean up and he didn't want to involve anyone else like he had involved his father last time. But he showed up, and Kurt was thankful for it despite everything. He couldn't foresee his future but knowing that someone was willing to be there for him meant a lot.

"Blaine, take my car and drive back to my place. Go get some sleep it's 9 PM, and you've been awake since 5 AM. Go sleep" Kurt could tell Blaine was exhausted and there wasn't much talking or much to do as he just sat there with his father. He also felt bad because Blaine had been so kind and sweet and he truly didn't have to be and Kurt felt as though he wasn't fully deserving of his kind soul. "Nope. As much as that sounds good, I'm here for you, so I will gladly wait until you are ready to leave." Although Blaine was exhausted, he was worried about Kurt and didn't want to leave him. He wanted to make sure he got home and to bed sober, or at least not wasted. "Babe, are you sure?" "yes, I am fine. Promise." And so they sat there and after Kurt was done crying at around 11 PM they headed out of the hospital.

As they walked down the long corridor with room after room, Kurt couldn't help but feel sad at the other families who were here with their loved ones. He was exhausted and wanted to drink himself to sleep again because the emotions of it all cut deep. As they exited the hospital, he did a double-take. He could've sworn he'd seen a familiar face walking in as he was going out, but maybe it was just that he was tired and confused. Blaine drove home and on their way home Kurt thought about that face. He swore that face was the older, kind woman that he had met on a couple of occasions. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.

Once they were ready for bed, Kurt asked Blaine kindly and warm "Blaine will you sleep with me?" Blaine had never slept the full night with a guy and as he climbed into bed with Kurt wrapping him up in his arms, he couldn't help but feel warm and right. He knew then that although he was scared, he was in the right place, right where he should be.