One day in early May, near the end of the school year, the invisible car pulled into Megamind's Lair and parked. Six people piled out: a little girl, a fish in a robotic gorilla suit, a Latino man, two women, and a blue hero dressed in all black.
"I'm going to go put my trophy in my room!" Olivia announced.
"You do that. Afterward, I think today calls for a celebratory dinner," Megamind enthused. "First place in the science fair! I knew you'd win, my little genius! Those ridiculous volcanoes had nothing on your accurately scaled solar system!"
"I'm just glad you remembered the De-Gun," Roxanne nudged her lover. "Otherwise I don't think we could have gotten the sun through the door. Even if it was only one-eighth of the sun."
"You know," Minion beamed a fishy grin at their young scholar. "I think I've got all the ingredients for white chocolate raspberry cake!"
"Ooh!" the girl practically danced with anticipation. It had become her favorite ever since Minion introduced her to it. "May I please have sprinkles on top?"
"Why, yes, Miss Olivia! In fact, an entire jar of pink sprinkles seems to have appeared in the cabinet overnight! It's the oddest thing, but do you know, this morning I opened the freezer and found ice cream, too?"
"You're the best, Uncle Minion!" she threw her arms around him.
"Thank you, Miss Olivia, but I have no idea where they came from!" he gave her a dramatically wide-eyed look.
"I'll bet," said Roxanne, "that the Good Luck Pixie brought them."
"Only reasonable explanation," agreed Megamind, wrapping one arm around his lover and kissing her cheek.
"Well, if the smartest guy on the planet says so, it has to be true!" Andro grinned. "Maybe they're magic sprinkles!"
"We can find out tonight, Uncle Andro!" Olivia called as she dashed up the stairs toward her room, stopping along the way to proudly show her trophy to a group of passing brainbots.
Megamind turned toward the older woman with them. "You were starting to tell us something about the progress?"
"Oh, yes. The good news is I think you've got a pretty good chance of winning custody," she began.
"Why do I feel a 'but' coming, Miss Klossner?" Megamind lifted an eyebrow.
She smiled ruefully. "But, I won't lie to you, the court system can still be a little old fashioned where these cases are concerned. It depends on the judge you get, of course, but… Well, your chances would be a lot better if you were married. Understand," she added quickly. "I'll give full testimony about the stability of the home and your eminent suitableness as parents, but the simple fact is that the court is still far more likely to award custody to a married couple than domestic partners."
The hero nodded. "I do understand, but I can't— and won't— pressure Roxanne into anything she doesn't want. Not for any—"
"Megamind," Roxanne touched her lover's arm. "The answer is yes."
"It is?" he turned a curious look on her, then her words seemed to sink in. "IT IS?!" His entire face lit up with startled joy. "Oh, ho! Roxanne! Sweetheart!" He grabbed her around her waist and spun her, his head thrown back, a look of pure elation on his blue features. "Do you mean it?!"
She laughed, her heart fluttering like a bird in her chest. "Well, you do have to ask me first."
"Yes! Yes! Of course! Right!" grinning, he set her on her feet and dropped to one knee. He cleared his throat. "Roxanne Ritchi, you are the single best thing that has ever happened to me. You believed in me when no one else would, inspired me to become a better man, and brought me joy I thought would never be more than an impossible dream. You reconnected me with the heart of a lost little blue boy and helped me build a new life. That heart, that life, and all I am are forever yours. Will you make me the happiest man alive by doing me the honor of becoming my wife?"
Her cheeks were warm with a blush, her eyes were damp, and she could feel herself grinning like an idiot. She didn't care. "I will. I definitely will."
He laughed, deep and joyous and, yes, just a little bit evil. Leaping to his feet, Megamind pulled her close again and danced them both around the room until Andro caught the pair in a bear hug.
"Roxie! Big M! I'm so happy for you both! And you know I'm going to be your Man of Honor, right, Roxie?" he teased.
"There's no one else I'd rather have," she assured him with a smile.
Behind them, Amelia Klossner was beaming and looked like she just might have tears in her eyes.
Megamind turned back to Roxanne. "I don't have a ring for you…" he admitted sheepishly.
"I don't need one," she laced her finger with his. "I just need you."
"Oh, no, no, Miss Ritchi! Whether you think you need one or not, you're going to get the most beautiful ring money can buy!" he announced, green eyes glittering. "Granted, it will still pale in comparison to you."
"Flatterer," Roxanne peck him on the lips. Then she heaved a dramatic sigh, but her smile gave her away. "The man I love wants to give me jewelry. I suppose I'll just have to endure it."
"Indeed you shall! Whatever you want! We'll design it together!"
Roxanne laughed with pure joy. "And I guess I'll have to get used to people calling me— what? Mrs. Mind? Or maybe I'll hyphenate my last name. I've always preferred that."
"You should keep it the way it is, Sweetheart. Especially given your career. Besides, sometimes people call me Mr. Mind, but it isn't really accurate. I'm afraid I don't have a surname to give you."
"Well," she stroked his cheek. Her eyes felt like they were glowing with tenderness. "You can always share mine."
"Megamind Ritchi. You know, I like the sound of that." He swooped Roxanne up and spun her again. "I can't believe it! We're getting married!" he nearly shouted. "We're getting married! Minion! Minion!" he called into the watch.
"Sir?" the henchman sounded a little concerned.
"How do you feel about making a wedding gown?"
"SIR?!"
"We're getting married!"
"Oh! Oh, Sir! That's wonderful! Congratulations! Just wait until I tell Miss Olivia she gets to be a flower girl!"
"And you, my fantastic fish, get to be my Best Man!"
Megamind smiled like the sun at Roxanne as he leaned in to kiss her again, slowly and thoroughly. From all the way upstairs, they could hear Olivia's squeal of delight.
That wasn't the only surprise that spring brought to the Lair, however. A month later, Megamind and Roxanne were enjoying a private breakfast on her bedroom balcony. Roxanne was dressed for work in a dark purple suit that Megamind said made her skin glow.
They were just finishing their coffee— Megamind sipping out his new favorite mug, which read: "World's Best Dad"— when brainbots arrived with the mail. It was mostly the usual collection of fan letters, but there were a few packages as well.
"Oh, good," Roxanne said, examining one. "Theresa sent back the muslin pattern so Minion can get started on her bridesmaid's dress." She examined the enclosed letter. "She says she's taking an entire week off so she can come early for a final fitting. I'll finally get to meet my newest second cousin! What did the Warden say about your other bridegroom?"
"Uncle Marlow will be there." Megamind laughed. "This should be interesting. Half the cops in Metrocity plan to attend, along with the prison warden, a life-convict, most of the Ghost Riders, and a large number of the Dragons."
"Maybe we should make sure everyone checks their weapons at the door," agreed Roxanne with a giggle.
Her lover opened the second package. "Metro— Ah, Music Man— says he'll be flying in from LA, too," Megamind informed her.
"How is he doing? The last time I spoke to him he was still taking things pretty hard. I mean, Lord Smith was a criminal, but he was still Wayne's family."
"I know. When he visits, I fully intend to take him to a bar for a few drinks and a heart-to-heart. What?" he added, seeing her face.
"Megamind, you barely even like him... You're always saying he's still your arch-rival."
"What does that matter? The man lost his father! Again! And learned the person who raised him was a crime boss in the process! I knew my adopted family were all felons; I can't imagine what it would feel like to find out like this. The least I can do is buy the fellow a few beers and give him a sympathetic ear."
She wrapped her arms around her lover. "You're a good man, Megamind. You really are."
"I try."
She kissed him.
"Was it just a letter in there?" Roxanne asked, indicating the former hero's package when she pulled away.
"No, he's, ah, sent a compact disc of… Original love songs. That he composed and recorded himself. As an early wedding gift."
Roxanne winced a little.
"Oh, come on," her fiancé objected. "He's not that bad."
She gave him an incredulous look.
"Alright, yes," the blue man admitted. "He's that bad. But it's the thought that counts. At least he didn't offer to do the music for the reception." He paused. "I wonder if we could talk Metalocity into performing?"
"You won't know unless you ask. What's in the last package?"
Megamind moved a handful of letters aside, then stopped cold.
"What is it?" Roxanne moved around him to peer over his shoulder.
It was a plain brown package addressed, in elegant calligraphy, to Hesperos Oldwin and Sinéad the Beautiful.
"Don't touch it!" Megamind commanded, catching her hand as she reached forward.
"But he's in prison!" Roxanne protested shakily, her eyes wide. "He's being transferred to New York today to stand trial for the Greenburg and Taglieri murders!"
"No. I received word late last night that he escaped during transport. It seems they didn't take my warnings about extra security seriously enough. I've had brainbots looking for him all morning, but I didn't expect him to make a move on us so soon," Megamind snapped his fingers and a brainbot rushed over. "Bring Daddy his heavy gloves and the Molecule Scanner from the workroom," he ordered. In a few minutes, he had the device in hand and was aiming a wide beam of shifting light at the package. He read the results, frowned, and scanned the package again.
"Paper," he said. "Nothing but ink and paper and leather. Hmm. Most of it contains cotton and hemp, like the old rag paper antique books are often printed on. But why would Ares send us a book?" It sounded harmless enough, but that didn't stop him from pulling Roxanne back the far corner as he motioned for a brainbot to open the parcel.
Nothing happened. After a moment, Megamind eased forward. There, displayed upon brown paper, was a leather case, about 14 inches long, that looked as if its previous home had probably been a thrift shop. Inside were dozens of thick stacks of bills. All of those visible were one-hundred dollar increments.
Megamind weighed the case with his hands and eyes, then nodded. "That is between three- and four-hundred-thousand dollars."
Roxanne couldn't help it; she snickered. But the sound was edged in nervous relief. "Criminal Mastermind. How many cases of money have you handled?"
"What? Oh, no, it's a simple matter of estimation. A dollar bill weighs one gram, so four-hundred and fifty-four of them to would weigh roughly a pound. From there it was easy to calculate."
"What's in the envelope on top?" Roxanne asked.
He gingerly picked it up and carefully opened it.
"My Dear Hesperos and Sinéad," he read aloud. "Please do not bother searching for me, as by the time you receive this, I will be well on my way to another place. Do not fear that this correspondence should contain any of the threats or animosity I have previously leveled at you. Indeed, I hold you both in the highest regard, and as such, wish to inform you of my decision to never again set foot into Metro City unless I should feel my daughter is in peril.
"I have thought many hours upon your words, Hesperos. You cannot guess how they have haunted me. You cannot fathom how the memory of your unearned mercy has tortured my silent hours. Perhaps you are correct, and I truly do not understand the nature of love. It may be that I am incapable of it. Possibly I am equally incapable of recognizing what must be mended, for my instinct is ever to destroy rather than repair. Of late, I begin to fancy I recognize that pattern even in my own life. Is it truth that I am seeing now, or has long and lonely contemplation brought upon me a dark delusion? I do not know. Only one thing is clear to me: you, Hesperos, are a better man and a better father than I could ever be. Therefore, I give the most precious of treasures, my daughter Olivia, wholly into your keeping, and I beg you to take the greatest care of her. Though it pains me to know that I will forever be a stranger to her, I know also that this is, indeed, what is best.
"Yes, Hesperos, it pains me, but I do it nonetheless. Perhaps, then, I am capable of love after all?
"As for myself, I believe it may be time for me to retire, perhaps somewhere overseas. My finances are such that, while I would be very comfortable here, I will spend the rest of my days in a kingly fashion if I choose my new homeland wisely. Do not, therefore, fear that your failure to recapture me may have any negative impact upon your reputation. There will be no further deaths for you to be reproached with, not by my hand.
"Enclosed you will find the payment I received for my last contract, which, as you know, I never fulfilled. It would be a discredit to me to keep it, but an even greater one to return it to the estate of such a grasping and soulless wretch as was Lord Smith. Therefore, I give it to my daughter. Please put it aside for her so that when the time comes, money will be no object to her education. See to it that she makes something truly remarkable of herself, for, in all of my life, she is the only good thing I have ever done. I trust that you both, honorable as you are, will comply with those wishes. Pain I may know in this parting, but fear, I find, has no part in it. I know that I leave Olivia in the best of hands, for you, Hesperos, are more than a mere Defender. You are a man of empathy, selfless courage, and integrity.
"You are truly a hero.
"Yours in Good Faith,
"Ares Coeus."
Roxanne and Megamind regarded one another in silence.
"Do you think he's serious?" the former asked at last. "Do you think he really means to retire?"
"I'm not sure, Sweetheart. He wrote that it may be time, not that it definitely is, and that certainly leaves room for him to change his mind. But he will stay out of Metrocity. Whatever else he may be, Ares was never a liar." He paused. "Well," he offered, making an effort at lightening the mood. "I suppose at least you'll have a hot scoop for work."
"I guess I will. It might even keep Roger off our backs for a while." Lately, after the success of her first-hand report on Ares' capture had died down, Roxanne's boss had been pestering her to do a series of exposés on "Life in the Lair." Minion was the only resident who was all for it.
"That almost makes me glad Ares escaped," the hero grimaced. "Almost."
"Are you planning to go after him?"
Megamind was silent for a long moment, blue features thoughtful, emerald eyes gazing far away. "No," he said finally. "I'm no superhero with godlike powers. I can't save the world. My hands are full with this one town," he smiled sideways at her, gentle and a little rueful, wrapping one arm about her. "My family and my city are safe. That will just have to be enough."
She leaned her head against his shoulder and hugged him about his narrow waist. "It is," she assured him, tender emotion tugging up the corners of her lips. "It's enough."
- The End -
