Chapter Twenty-Two
It wasn't until December arrived, I thought about something that would change everything, something I hadn't really thought about before. Despite being around them for ten months, I hadn't thought about being a vampire. I was content with being a human, at least for now. Now though I was contemplating on being one, on becoming immortal and leaving my human life behind. The only thing that stopped me and prolonged my thoughts on this was leaving my family behind, knowing that I couldn't stay around Charlie or Renee (even Phil) if I traded my life—of accepting vampirism with open arms.
I was sitting in the gazebo at the Cullens' (and Hales') house when I heard a clearing of a throat, nothing that was harsh or loud. It was simple, soft, and I glanced up. Alice stood in front of me with a cream turtleneck sweater that had jewels sewn into the bottom of her sleeves (they were turquoise), bell bottom jeans and stylish one-inch brown leather heels. Her black spiky pixie haircut didn't move from the wind that came throughout the air.
I on the other hand was wearing a plaid button up shirt (black and deep golden plaid) over a golden sweater. I had a green jacket on, which belonged to Jasper—I had nicked it when I was staying here one night—along with stylish deep blue jeans and plain tennis shoes. A brown toboggan was situated on my head, my long brown hair had grown throughout the months, it was half way down my back now.
I couldn't help but ask, "will I become a vampire?"
I knew that it was silly, she wouldn't know until I decided if I would become one or not. She softly frowned at me before she sat down next to me and wrapped her arm around me, pulling me against her. She rested her head on top of mine.
"You shouldn't worry about that right now, Bella. You have time, all the time in the world if you want, if you want to become one. If you don't become one, then we will still love you all the same. Jasper understands too if you decide you don't want to be one, he won't force you to be one."
"If I don't become one then I will grow old and die, he'll be without me. He will only have me until I'm probably sixty at least. He deserves more than that." I couldn't imagine what it would be like if I would join others in the graveyards, nothing more than a corpse. He would be forever young, living on without me—a shell of a man.
I feared he would turn away from his coven and go back to his own ways, he would drink human blood once more. He would make sure to succeed in dying, he would make sure that he would be with me again. I didn't want that for him, I didn't want to put him through that.
"Isabella Marie Swan you will not think like that," Alice declared, as though she was able to read my mind too. I frowned before I responded, "I can't help it, Alice. It's just a part of me…"
Alice didn't say anything for a moment before she reached her hand out and took mine. Pulling me up from my spot, she began to lightly pull me down the gazebo steps and back into the house. The warmth of the house provided by the fireplace that was lit off in the living room spread warmth throughout the home. It was meant for me.
"Alice, what are you doing?"
"We are going to make Christmas cookies!" Alice proclaimed, as though this was going to solve everything.
I knew she was trying to get the whole vampire subject from my mind, and though I knew I would think about it later a part of me was glad that she was bringing up baking. I did say that I loved baking, it helped relieve me from my troubling thoughts.
As though she sensed this, Esme came downstairs with a large smile on her face. Of course, she was wearing a Christmas sweater, and Christmas jewelry. The emerald and ruby hues made her features striking, which in return made me smile more at her. Both she and Alice always had glowing auras, they were always prepared to make sure everything would be happy. They never wanted me to feel as though I should ever doubt their love.
"Did I just hear you saying you're going to make Christmas cookies?"
Esme entered the kitchen, observing Alice as she went through the kitchen and grabbed the ingredients that we needed. In the distance the elegant, tall Christmas tree off in the corner of the west side of the living room was gleaming with the lights—beautiful and stunning, which in return made me even more warm.
Charlie always came down to Phoenix during Christmas when he could spare the time to. He always got me things that weren't necessarily what I asked for, not that I asked for a lot to begin with, but I always kept them through the years. He had gotten the presents because they reminded him of me.
I had gotten him a nice wallet; I had pointed out the perfect one online to Alice and she had bought it for me since it was a little pricier than normal. I didn't push it away from her, chances were she would win me over. Now it was wrapped up and underneath my own Christmas tree at home. Charlie and Renee bought me something too, though I didn't know how many of the Cullens would buy me something for Christmas, I would buy them something, but they all reassured me they didn't need anything from me. I could only go with what they said, though part of me was afraid that they didn't want anything because they knew I didn't have as much money as them.
"I would love to help!" Esme gushed; we didn't think twice when it came to inviting her. We sprinkled some flour onto the white marble kitchen island so the dough wouldn't stick. There were two rolling pins that were in one of the drawers, both were beautiful and must have cost quite a penny, I wouldn't be surprised if they were from some famous cook's collection that was exclusive.
"Oh, and I forgot to tell you, we finally finished Christmas shopping. I know that all our presents are going to make you excited. And don't worry about presents for us, Bella. Remember that being in our lives is the best present that we could ever have," Alice added a moment later, it was as though she took the place of Edward—it was almost as though she was the one that could hear my thoughts.
Pulling out the cookie cutters, I almost blinked in shock at the variety of cookie cutters they had provided me with. I had never seen so many in my life, I knew Alice must have went over board with buying them. I wouldn't have been surprised if she went up to Seattle or Port Angeles and bringing them back home.
Nicking the ones, she wanted, Alice began to press the metal shapes down into the dough with ease. I grabbed a Santa Claus and Christmas Tree before I began to copy her, while Esme grabbed an ornament shaped cookie cutter. The only thing that was missing was Christmas music playing in the background.
The back door of the house opened before Edward came smoothly through. He smiled at the sight of us making cookies and came into the kitchen before he kissed Alice on the crown of her head. He gave me a brotherly hug before he went to one of the cabinets, pulling out food coloring dye for us. Sitting them down on the wide kitchen island surface he soon sat down in one of the bar stools.
"Darling, would you be so kind to go and play some Christmas Carols on the piano? I can sense that Bella wants some music in the background, and you play so beautifully." Alice gave him puppy dog eyes, pouting and knowing that it would work on her husband/mate. Edward nodded his head before he hopped out of his bar stool and went in the direction of the piano. It didn't take long for one of the carols to start reverberating through the large house.
Outside snow began to cascade from the dreary skyline, allowing me to know I had come in at the right time. The last thing I wanted was to be outside in the snowy weather. I still couldn't stand the snow; others would find it beautiful. None of the Cullens had any problems when it came to hunting animals during the winter, it was second nature for them. I wouldn't be surprised if they were accustomed to the cold weather, if they were immune to it.
The garage door opened, before we were greeted with Emmett entering the living room. He went in the direction of where the television was. He grabbed a movie from the television cabinet before he popped it in. The commercials were starting to play, and I knew he wasn't going to watch a Christmas movie. That was reserved for the rest of the family, not for the burly vampire. Besides, I knew him, and Rosalie weren't Christmas fanatics, Esme and Alice were.
A part of me wanted Carlisle to be here, he was the fatherly figure I felt I deserved. Charlie and I hadn't changed our relationship, he wasn't in my life more. Ever since I had become friends with the Cullens and gotten to know them throughout these ten months he didn't seem to hover over me. I had gotten better with my panic, my anxiety, and my depression.
Unsurprisingly, the blond vampire doctor was at the clinic. With the weather worse during this time of the year than usual, there were a lot of black ice accidents—whether through car wrecks or people falling and breaking bones. He was often there, since he knew that everything was fine with me and the rest of the family, including the knowledge that I had finally gotten to where I could be fine with the family and not wonder or act as though I wasn't there all entirely. My mind wasn't far away, stuck only on Jasper.
"Em, darling, when you are finished put on the Hallmark Channel," Esme quietly instructed, earning an acknowledging nod from her son.
I had a feeling he wasn't really watching the movie; in fact, I was certain he was probably making it look like he was watching something so that he could continue texting Rosalie. I hadn't seen him without his phone in one of his jean pockets, prepared to send a message to Rosalie or answer the phone if his mate was calling him. He never showed any emotion towards the separation between him and Rosalie except on rare moments when he would look out the back windows of the house to peer at the trees. He was waiting for Rosalie to come home.
Snap.
I blinked, at the sound of Alice snapping, her manicured fingers gleaming underneath the kitchen lights and the natural light that came in through the windows. Her nails were done to perfection, they were Christmas themed. There were even little fake emerald and ruby stones on her nails. I envied them, though I would not let her do my nails, well this time. I had gotten attention by the girls in school for my nails, since Alice had decided to put her cosmetology degree to use on me.
I sheepishly glanced over at Alice, only for her to smile at me. Sometimes it was incredible how I didn't have to say anything for us to have a quiet understanding with each other. It appears God made sure fate would have me and Alice meet each other, we were supposed to be sisters through souls though not through blood. It didn't matter to either of us, we still were sisters.
"Don't worry about him, he's fine," Alice assured me, enough that I nodded my head despite the concern that was still radiating throughout me. Emmett was an older brother to me; I had been accustomed to being an only child but now it felt as though I had four siblings and it was so easy for me to be concerned for them.
We had just finished making the cookies and put them into the oven when Edward came into the kitchen once more. He smiled at us before he came around the kitchen island and kissed Alice on the forehead, smiling at us before his eyes flickered in the direction of the oven.
"Carlisle told me that some of the nurses gave him goodie bags for Christmas, so you'll be getting some cookies and other sweets," Edward informed me, from the way that he said this I wouldn't be surprised if any of the nurses made Carlisle different kind of treats in order to have him give a smile towards them. His smile would be no where close to the smile that he gave his family and me.
"That's wonderful, they are wonderful girls," Esme commented, there was nothing but truth that spilled from her lips. There was no need for her to be jealous, after all she was the one that would have Carlisle without any troubles. They were mates, they were the ones that were married, not him and one of the nurses.
Edward didn't say anything, I was certain that he would know what the nurses would be thinking whenever he would have to go to the clinic and talk to Carlisle. I knew he was glad that none of his other family members had been given his gift, everyone would be in the dark.
Alice paused her actions, her mind going away to another realm. It lasted only a moment before she blinked and turned towards me. Edward gave me a small smile, a private moment between Alice and him let me know there was something happening soon that involved me. From the way they looked at each other it had to do something with Jasper.
The scent of the cookies began to waffle throughout the room, gaining my attention. A strong urge to eat some of the cookies erupted from me, I always had room for sweets. It was a good thing I had a fast metabolism otherwise I knew that I would be rather large due to my sweet tooth.
"What's with the look, you two?" It was Esme that asked this, not me. The mates merely gave each other secretive smiles, knowing they wouldn't tell their mother what it was they had just seen with each other.
"Nothing, Mother," Edward remarked, earning an eyebrow raise from Esme. She turned towards me and I shrugged, letting her know that I didn't know how she should respond to that comment.
Esme pursed her lips together, still studying them, before she knew that her son and daughter weren't going to tell me nor her what they had both seen. We knew that it would be useless.
We spent our time cleaning up the mess that we had made, taking our time. By the time that we were finished (Esme and Alice worked at a human speed) the oven went off and let us know that the cookies were finished. Alice grabbed some oven mitts and opened the oven—the heat from within washed throughout the room, allowing us to know that the cookies had been baked completely.
Pulling them out, Alice put the cookies on the cooling tray before we all went into the living room. Emmett had just finished watching his movie before he had turned on the Hallmark Channel. Silver Bells was about to come on, it was a new movie that was premiering this Christmas.
To be honest I never really watched Hallmark, Renee was addicted to watching Hallmark movies. She especially loved Christmas; I couldn't say that I shared the same enthusiasm as she did. I also knew she was experiencing her second Christmas with her still new husband and was creating even more memories with him.
Once the cookies had become cooled down, we went back into the kitchen and iced the cookies, putting as many different pattern designs and edible adds on as we wanted.
An hour later the front door opened, and Carlisle entered with a little tiredness in his golden irises. Her perked up when he saw us gathered around the couch. He came over and kissed all of us on the forehead. Emmett had already left; he wasn't in the mood to watch a Hallmark Christmas movie.
Alice perked up also, before she wrapped the blanket that was near me around her, she scooted over and allowed some of the blanket to drape around me also. Esme gave us a soft smile as Carlisle went upstairs to change out of his work clothes and into his lounge clothes.
Sighing, I felt a tiredness begin to wash over me, I wanted to fall asleep. I had barely closed my eyes when I heard the phone go off. I almost groaned at the sound, though Esme picked up the phone and listened to the person on the other side of the line. She nodded her head before she turned towards me.
"Bella?" I turned towards her, letting her know that I was listening to her despite me wanting to fall asleep. "It's your father, he wants you to come home. Apparently, there was a crime that happened near here again. He wants to make sure that you're near him."
I frowned before I nodded my head, allowing her to know that I understood. I got up from my spot on the couch and headed towards the coat hanger, pulling off my purple coat, before slipping it on.
I paused though, before turning towards them. "Did you know about them? If so, then why did you invite me over?"
Alice sighed, before she stood up and made her way over to me. "I wanted you to not worry about it. The attacks aren't that common, and we've been patrolling the territory, but no one has come close to us. I'm certain that if they become braver then we will be able to put a stop to it."
"Will me and Charlie be alright?" I couldn't help but ask, knowing that Alice would have the answers. She nodded her head, assuring me that me and Charlie would be fine. I wouldn't have to worry about a vampire coming and trying to track down us. Well that and I knew that my vampire family could handle the situation if it ever was going to happen to begin with.
"I'll take you home."
Carlisle stood in front of us, having changed into his normal lounge clothes when I had fallen asleep. I smiled at him softly, the fatherly love he had towards me was never ending. There was no one better than him to take care of me during this time, especially considering the fact he never drank a human.
Grabbing my things, I went around and hugged both vampire women and then Edward. He gave me a gentle, brotherly love which let me know that he would always think of me as his sister. I knew he and Emmett were my brothers through and through, it didn't matter if we were both different races entirely. Them being vampires meant nothing to any of us.
Carlisle quietly walked out of the house with me, the both of us walking in a nice pace. The snow crunched around us, the ice thickening on the driveway concrete. I let my face show the displeasure. He chuckled next to me, allowing me to know that he thought it was amusing how much I hated anything but the sunshine. It must have been a long time since Carlisle and the others had an actual human around them—as an insider into their world instead of an outsider.
Without saying anything, Carlisle reached out and scooped me up and away from a patch of black ice in front of me. I squeaked, my face becoming hotter at the handsome vampire that was so near to me. I loved Jasper unconditionally, but my hormones weren't hearing anything, other than the fact that my boyfriend's super-hot father had picked me up to keep me away from harm's way.
Carlisle didn't bash an eyelash towards me flushing at the movement, but I could tell from the twinkle in his eyes that he found the moment amusing. I pouted and turned my head away from him, going to wrap my arms around myself in protest only for me to double think that. I grabbed his hand in mine once more, my fingers tightening around his hand to make sure I wouldn't do a face plant in front of him.
Once he had gotten me into the car, I hadn't even blinked and Carlisle was in the driver's seat, ready to drive me back to the Swan residence. Huh, it was strange how I couldn't think about Charlie's house as my house here. Instead when I thought of home it was with the Cullens and the Hales, here at their house.
The drive back to the house was complete and utter silence. Only the humming of the engine and Carlisle using the turn signal (the click-click sound so loud in the silence it was unnerving), broke the silence. It was uncomfortable to say the least, I almost fidgeted whenever I would hear a sound off in the distance.
I didn't want to think about Carlisle being able to hear my heartbeat clearer than any medical instrument could. I shook my head mentally at that thought, the last thing I needed to think about was the swooshing of my blood and the beating of my heart, along with the compression of my lungs.
As though he sensed this, Carlisle reached his hand out and placed it on my hand, and for once I didn't flinch. I didn't ask him to take his hand away from mine and keep it on the steering wheel. Instead I relished in the feeling, knowing that he was comforting me with just the gentleness of touches.
"Do you want me to play some music for you? I know the uneasiness of the silence, Bella. We all do," Carlisle whispered to me, I knew that he wasn't just talking about humans but about vampires and other creatures (if they existed also, werewolves were a part of that) didn't like to be the silence for long periods of time. They kept us thinking about our nightmarish thoughts.
"I'm fine, Carlisle…could you tell me some stories about your patients? I'm sure you could spare me one or two," I answered, which in return made him smile brilliantly at me. I felt my heart flicker once, no twice, at that smile. I blushed and turned my head away, cursing hot vampire doctors in my head.
So, Carlisle told me about some of his patients that he adored. His eyes were alit, and he spoke of them as old friends. His features were alive, there was nothing more he wanted than to remember them as they were. He didn't talk about those that had died under his care, sometimes he would talk about a patient of another doctor and how he had gotten to be good friends with them before they died.
There were sometimes that he even talked about vampires that had come through his territory, when it was just him, Esme, and Edward. None of them were wanting to cause trouble, but they were interested in the Cullen lifestyle, especially when it came to Carlisle being a doctor. He was praised, thought of as one of the most caring vampires that there ever were.
Yet, all stories had ends, and his latest story ended when we reached the road where Charlie's house was. Charlie was outside, pacing back and forth with his hands in his pockets. He was still wearing his uniform and when he looked up, noticed me in Carlisle's car, he had relief flood throughout him.
I had barely gotten out of the car when Charlie came up to us, grabbing me and wrapping his arms around me. I merely stood still, my eyes caught on my father and seeing how he was acting as though he thought his world ended when he didn't have his arms around me before. I was his world.
"Thank you, Carlisle. Tell Alice and the others that Bella will be staying home for the next week, I just want to make sure that things will calm down."
"Understandable, Chief Swan—"
"Charlie, call me Charlie, Carlisle. Bella has basically claimed you and Esme, along with the kids as family. It's the least you can do," Charlie interrupted, which in return made Carlisle smile softer at what my father said. He nodded his head, shook Charlie's hand and got back into his car to drive away.
We watched him drive away from us, until he turned the corner, and we couldn't see him anymore before we went into the house. The Cullens (and the Hales) were honorary Swans now. I couldn't help but feel giddy.
Later at night, when Charlie went to bed and I stayed in my bedroom, my window cracked to circulate air throughout my room I couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like to meet a younger Carlisle. A Carlisle with just a wife and son at the time, one who didn't know what it would be like to raise five vampire children, one who didn't know he would come across me.
I thought of Esme and how she was only sixteen when she had met Carlisle. Would she have let him change her if she knew about him and Edward being vampires at my age? Or would she wait until she was the same age as him to take on the responsibility of being the mother and co-leader of a coven of vampires? Or worse, would she have run away from him, not being able to cope with her girlish crush disintegrating before her very eyes because that crush was a harbor for a vampire?
I shook my head, knowing the last thing I needed to do was overthink this. I wanted to think that I had all the time in the world before I would decide if I would become a vampire or not…but what if I would miss the chance to become one? What if I waited too late to be a vampire? What then?
Author's note:
the reason why it's taken me a while to update, especially the last chapter, I was hoping to finish the last remaining part of the fanfiction before posting the rest of it. I've written enough for it to last a while, but I only have five more chapters and an epilogue before I'm officially finished with the fanfiction. Fingers crossed that I'll be finished with the fanfiction by the end of the month, or the beginning of next month.
-emmy
