Friday, April 21st, 1972

It was like electricity. The tingle began in Remus' fingertip where it was touching Sirius' palm, spread along his finger, through his hand and climbed up his arm, and he jerked away. The contact had barely lasted a second, but Remus was panting as if he'd just climbed the stairs to the owlery.

'Okay?' Sirius asked, frowning with concern.

Remus nodded. 'Yeah. Give me a minute. That was… weird.'

Sirius lounged back against the wall with his legs crossed at the ankles to wait for him to pull himself together, and Remus was grateful for his patience. The sensation had been strange, but not unpleasant. A little overwhelming. Knowing what to expect should make it easier the second time, though. He wasn't about to give up after the first try.

'Alright, let's do it again.'

Sirius grinned and stood up straight. 'Ravish me, darling,' he said, holding out his hand and tossing his hair.

Remus dropped his hand back to his side with a sigh, feeling his face burn like fiendfyre. 'Must you make this awkward?'

Sirius dissolved into a mess of giggles. 'Sorry... I'm sorry… I couldn't resist…' he choked out in between bursts of uncontrolled laughter. When he finally got a hold of himself, he stood and wiped the tears from his eyes. 'I'm sorry. I'll behave. Promise.'

Sirius held out his hand again, and this time kept his mouth blessedly shut, though Remus could see the suppressed mirth in his eyes. Rather than making things awkward, Sirius' irreverent humour had had the opposite effect on Remus. The normality of it made all the tension melt away, leaving him calm and relaxed. He moved fast before the fear could get the better of him again, closing the distance between their hands and pressing his finger firmly against Sirius' palm.

The tingles shot up his arm again, but this time he was expecting it. Instead of jerking away, he closed his eyes and allowed the sensation to fizzle through his body for several seconds. His heart was pounding against his chest, and his ears were ringing. Even so, he kept his finger in place, determined to overcome the fear created by his father's lie. Determined to prove his father hadn't broken him.

When it all became too much, he pulled away again and opened his eyes to find Sirius beaming at him.

'Well done,' he said. 'You did amazing. How do you feel?'

Remus' legs buckled, and he sat down heavily on the floor of the secret passage.

'Well. I guess that answers that question. Was it too much?' Sirius asked, crouching beside him.

Remus bit his lip as he considered the question. 'Not too much. Just a lot, you know?'

'Yeah, we should definitely take it slow.'

'How do you want to do this, exactly?'

Sirius moved to sit down opposite him. 'What do you mean?'

Remus shrugged. 'Like, do you want to schedule sessions or just wing it?'

'I figured you'd just do whatever you were comfortable with. You don't have to warn me or anything.'

'Okay,' Remus said. 'Just tell me if I do something you don't like, and I won't do it again.'

Sirius chuckled. 'That's pretty unlikely, Moonpie.'

'Oh, gods,' Remus said, covering his face with his hands and laughing. 'Don't start making moon and wolf jokes all the time. People will figure it out.'

Sirius winked at him. 'Don't worry, Wolf Boy. I'll keep it for when we're alone.'

Remus almost choked on his laugh this time. 'That's even worse than Nerd Boy!'

Sirius grinned. 'We should probably get back to the dorm. I told James I was going for a piss. And we've been here ages.'

In the end, they needn't have worried. When they reached the dorm, James almost knocked Sirius off his feet leaping on him the moment he stepped through the door.

'Rivers found me in the common room!'

'Who the fuck is Rivers? And why the hell are you this excited about it?' Sirius asked, attempting to peel James off of him. And failing miserably.

James gripped Sirius' shoulders and jumped up and down. Remus was exceedingly grateful for the protection of his 'phobia' at that moment and began to have second thoughts about 'curing' it.

'The Gryffindor quidditch captain!' James yelled in Sirius' face.

That information was all it took for Sirius to realise why James was so hyperactive and join him in jumping up and down. 'Oh my gods, what did he say?'

'He wants me to try out for the team next year,' James said, practically bursting at the seams. 'But he hinted that it's just a formality and I'm basically a sure thing! I'm going to be a Chaser, Sirius!'

'Always knew you would be, mate. But congratulations,' Sirius said. 'That makes two things we have to celebrate now. How much butterbeer do we have?'

'Plenty,' James said, letting go of Sirius and pushing his glasses up his nose. 'But what else are we celebrating?'

Remus had stayed back during the excitement, but he nodded when Sirius glanced at him for permission. Might as well tell them now.

'Remus,' Sirius said, 'has decided he wants to get over his phobia, And…' Sirius paused dramatically, and Remus rolled his eyes at his need to make everything a performance. '... he touched my hand.'

'No way!' James and Peter both yelled at Sirius before turning to stare at Remus with wide eyes.

'Yes way,' Sirius said, nodding with pride.

'That's brilliant, mate,' James said, recovering from his surprise first. 'Really brave. Anything I can do to help, just ask.'

'Me too,' Peter said, smiling at him. 'And I agree with James. It's really brave.'

'Thanks, guys. I'm just going to work on it with Sirius for now, but I'll need you two to help later.'

Their next lesson that day was History of Magic, and for once Remus didn't pay the slightest bit of attention to the lecture. So much had happened, and he needed to process it. Sirius knowing he was a werewolf took the top spot in his thoughts. Not only did he know, had known for months, but he didn't care.

Well, no. That wasn't quite right. Sirius cared; a lot, apparently. But not in the way Remus had expected him to care. Not in the 'you're a monster, get away from me,' way. No. Sirius only cared he was a werewolf because it caused Remus pain. And he wanted to help.

That wasn't quite right either, because Sirius had already been helping. Secretly. For months. The last two injury-free full moons had been thanks to him. And he probably had him to thank that no one suspected anything yet, too. He'd been distracting everyone, and Remus had believed he was just attention-seeking. When he asked for his birthday to be celebrated at the weekend, he had thought Sirius was being vain, but had he really been making sure Remus could attend? The possibility made him all warm and fuzzy inside.

After the initial panic was over, he couldn't believe how comfortable he had been talking to Sirius about it. A lot of that was because of Sirius' sense of humour. His teasing had made the situation feel more normal; less significant, and Remus glowed with warmth when he recalled Sirius calling him Moonpie and Wolf Boy. It was nice that he felt comfortable enough with it to make jokes. As long as he didn't slip up and call him those things in front of someone else. But he hadn't slipped up so far. Unknown to Remus, he'd been keeping the secret for seven months already.

Remus glanced over his shoulder. He sat beside Peter in this class, and Sirius and James sat behind them. Like Peter, James had his head down on the desk, snoring softly, But Sirius was watching him.

'You okay?' he mouthed when Remus met his eyes.

Remus nodded and offered him a smile before turning back to the front of the room. He didn't understand why Sirius was so relaxed about his disease, but he was grateful for it. Having a friend who knew the truth would make getting through school a lot easier.

Sirius shook James and Peter awake when class ended, and ten minutes later they were settled in their usual seats in the Great Hall.

'I guess we won't have to sit at the end for much longer,' James said, looking at Remus. 'How long do you think it'll take?'

'I don't know. But I hope by the time we go home. I want to be able to hug my mum.'

'We should put on a performance on the platform,' James said, getting excited. 'Can you imagine your mum's face if she sees you hugging us goodbye?'

Sirius laughed. 'I think that's a brilliant idea.'

'That could be fun,' Remus said. If his mum saw him hugging other people, it would reassure her that it was safe to touch him.

But it would take a lot of work to get to that point in such a short amount of time if his first attempts were anything to go by. He couldn't allow long periods between touches. If he did, he would settle back into his comfort zone, and it would take too long to become accustomed to the feelings involved. Sharing the cloak so much with Sirius had shown him that touch got easier the more he did it, and the longer he spent doing it. Linking arms with him to walk in sync still made his heart race, but it was no longer uncomfortable.

But it had taken months to reach that point, and he only had weeks. With that in mind, he shifted his seating position and pressed his leg against Sirius' under the table. The whole of his leg tingled at the contact, and he drew in a sharp breath but didn't pull away. Sirius' only reaction was the smallest of twitches, but he didn't move his leg, just carried on talking to James and Peter about Gryffindor's chances in the Sand-Wars semi-final the following day as if nothing was happening.

Remus closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing, letting the sensation flood his body, trying to get used to it. His focus kept being drawn to the small area of his leg that was touching Sirius', though, and he repeatedly had to coax it back to keeping his breathing calm and even.

Ten minutes later, at the smell of chocolate, Remus pulled away. The cake had appeared on the table, and he couldn't eat while maintaining contact. Sirius looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Remus smiled to let him know he was good. Having the layers of material between them made it less overwhelming, but he knew he needed to get used to skin-to-skin contact too. This was a good start, though, and it was only day one. He had a lot to be proud of.

Sirius said nothing about it in front of James and Peter, but when they got to Transfiguration, he took the opportunity to whisper, 'I'm so proud of you,' during the commotion before Professor McGonagall called the class to order. The praise made Remus more determined than ever to conquer his fear.

It was a practical lesson, turning glass into water, and there wasn't an opportunity for prolonged contact, but Remus let his hand brush against Sirius' several times. And he did the same in Herbology while they harvested their fluxweed plants. After a while, he noticed that every time he did, the corners of Sirius' mouth quirked up the tiniest amount.

At dinner, Remus repeated his actions from lunch, and this time kept up the contact while he ate his main course. He'd been so focused on the place where their legs touched, he couldn't remember what he'd eaten. But he'd come a long way since that morning when even the possibility of touching someone else was terrifying.

They were scheduled to work on the potion all weekend again, so they went straight to the cave after eating. Remus headed for the tent, expecting James to follow him because it was Sirius' turn to help Peter. But James walked in the opposite direction towards the prep station instead, so Remus paused by the tent flaps to see what he was doing.

'I'm feeling pretty good after my nap this morning,' he said to Sirius. 'We can swap shifts if you want to work on your personal project with Remus?'

Sirius raised a questioning eyebrow at Remus, obviously asking if he was up for more practice that evening. Remus nodded. He'd already decided to work on it every chance he got.

'If you're sure?' Sirius said.

'Absolutely.' James turned his head to smile at Remus. 'Like I said, anything I can do to help.'

Remus felt a rush of affection for his friend. Despite not being able to help physically yet, James had found another way to do so, even though it meant he would have less free time for himself. He really was the most generous person Remus had ever met.


Sirius followed Remus into the tent but stopped by the entrance, unsure what he wanted him to do. After sitting down crossed-legged at the head of one of the beds, Remus looked up, patting the mattress in front of him. Sirius joined him, sitting at the foot, so they were facing each other, and Remus shuffled forward until their knees were touching. The moment they touched, Remus closed his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he took a few deep breaths.

'Is this okay?' he asked when he opened his eyes.

'For me?'

'Yeah. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.'

Sirius scoffed, before leaning forward and whispering into his ear, 'You couldn't if you tried, Wolf Boy.' Much to Sirius' enjoyment, Remus shivered, and when he pulled away, his cheeks were flushed, but he was smiling.

Remus then took Sirius completely by surprise. Leaning forward himself, he allowed his cheek to brush against Sirius' ever so lightly, and whispered back, 'I like that you can joke about it.'

Remus' breath against his ear sent the most delicious shiver down Sirius' spine. And when Remus pulled away, he was sporting a cocky grin. It had definitely been intentional, and he had definitely noticed the shiver. And James would definitely not be hearing about this.

'Really pushing those boundaries aren't you,' Sirius said, trying to joke, although he was feeling a little unsettled by his reaction. James whispered in his ear all the time, and it had never felt like that.

'I have to if I want to be ready by June,' Remus said, shrugging.

Sirius nodded. 'So this is okay now?' he asked, gesturing to their knees.

'It still feels weird, but it's more of a good weird if that makes sense?'

Sirius thought he knew what Remus meant. It felt good weird to him too. Kind of tingly, but in a pleasant way.

'What do you want to do now?'

'Can we try both hands?' Remus asked. He was trying to act confident about it, but his voice shook, betraying his anxiety, and Sirius wanted him to relax.

So he winked at him. 'That depends where you plan to put your hands, Mister Lupin. I'm a respectable man, you know?'

Remus chuckled. 'Sure you are. You keep telling yourself that.'

Sirius laughed and put his hands up. Remus looked much less anxious now. Mission accomplished.

Remus hesitated for a second, but raised his own hands and moved them towards Sirius' until both their hands were touching, palm to palm. Remus gasped, and his eyes fluttered closed again. Sirius tried very hard to stay still, but it was difficult because the pleasant tingly feeling was spreading through him like fire. The only reason he could think to explain it was that Remus was putting so much trust in him.

They stayed like that for several minutes before Remus pulled away and opened his eyes.

'It's getting easier every time.'

Sirius grinned. 'You'll be hugging us in no time.'

'Hopefully,' Remus said, smiling back at him. 'This must be boring for you, though. What if we sit next to each other? Then you could read or draw.'

Actually, it was possibly the least boring thing he'd ever done, but Sirius agreed to the plan anyway, and they settled themselves at the head of the bed with a book each. Sirius rested his free hand, palm up, on the mattress between them and Remus placed his on top.

After a while, Sirius became engrossed in his book, so he didn't notice at first when Remus' fingers slipped between his own and curled around his hand. And he didn't notice when his own fingers instinctively curled around Remus' hand in return. He did notice, however, when Remus yanked his hand away, breathing hard, and scrambled off of the bed away from him.

Sirius dropped his book and held his hands up in surrender. 'I'm sorry. Are you okay? What did I do?'

Remus was clutching his right hand to his chest, holding it protectively with his left. 'No, it's alright. You were just holding onto me, and I panicked.'

'Oh, gods, I'm sorry.' Sirius stood up and moved towards Remus, still keeping his hands up. 'I didn't mean too. I didn't even notice I was doing it.'

'I know. It's okay.' Remus let his hand drop to his side. 'I'm alright now. I just... had to get away.'

'Do you want to stop for today?'

Remus didn't answer right away, biting his lip. But after a moment of thought, he said, 'I don't think stopping after a bad experience is a good idea. Can we try that again?'

'Try what?'

'You… er… holding my hand?' Remus blushed furiously, and Sirius grinned.

'Any time, Nerd Boy,' he said with a wink, holding out his hand.

Remus' blush deepened even more, but he pressed his hand against Sirius' and allowed their fingers to interlock, before curling his fingers around Sirius' hand. He was staring at their hands with an expression of curiosity while he did this. But when he looked up, and Sirius met his gaze, Remus' golden eyes were blazing with emotion.

'Go on,' he whispered.

Ever so slowly, Sirius folded his fingers down, wrapping them around Remus's hand gently, trying not to startle him. Remus' breathing was rough and haggard, but he held Sirius' gaze the entire time, and Sirius tried to tell him with his eyes that he could trust him.

Gradually Remus' breathing slowed, and he closed his eyes. 'Can you let go now, please,' he said.

Sirius did so immediately and stepped back to give Remus some space. 'You okay?'

Remus nodded, and a broad smile spread slowly across his face before he opened his eyes. 'I can't believe I did that.'

They stopped for the evening after that breakthrough, Remus wanting to end on a high. But they continued the sessions over the weekend and throughout the next week whenever they could. After a week had gone by, Remus was coping well with touching Sirius, not reacting at all as long as he knew it was coming. It was a joy to see, but what made it even better was how happy Remus was.

That was until he woke up the following Friday. Sirius was expecting it; he had the dates of the full moons memorised, but it didn't make it any easier to witness. He always made it a point to wake up early on full moon days, so he could wake Remus while James and Peter were in the shower, and they wouldn't see him groan in pain as he climbed out of bed and stretched his sore muscles. Usually, he woke him and then retreated to the bathroom himself, but Remus knew he was in on the secret now, and he could stay.

'Wakey wakey, Moonykins,' he whispered.

Remus stirred, and his lips quirked up in a smile. 'I take it we're alone?'

'They're in the shower.'

'Good,' Remus said. He rolled over to face Sirius and groaned in pain. 'I feel like shit. Will you help me up?'

'Of course,' Sirius said, holding out his hands. Remus took them, and Sirius pulled him up to a sitting position, waited for him to swing his legs out of bed and then pulled him upright. Remus wobbled a little and grabbed onto Sirius' arms to stabilise himself.

'You good?' Sirius asked, resisting the urge to grip Remus' arms in return. If he wasn't expecting it, he would panic.

'Yeah.' Remus let go and managed to stay up under his own strength. 'Will you be able to come tonight?'

Sirius glanced at the bathroom door. He could still hear the shower going, but he wanted to make sure it was still closed. 'I don't know. They're going to be awake all night again. Are you saying you're going home or that you're sick?'

'Does it matter?'

'I thought, maybe we could both say we're sick?'

Remus nodded slowly, apparently considering the idea. 'Not at the same time, though. I'll go first. You wait a few hours before you say you're feeling ill too.'

'Moonrise is at nine-thirty, right?'

Remus looked surprised that he knew that, but nodded again.

'I'll go to the cave with them after dinner then and say I'm ill around eight forty-five. I don't want to keep Moony waiting after not turning up last month.'

Remus didn't reply for a moment. Sirius saw him swallow and take a deep breath to say something, something that seemed important, but then the water shut off in the bathroom and he stopped. They both looked towards the door.

James emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, a towel around his waist and a second one in his hand, which he was using to dry his hair.

'Morning, Remus,' he said, sounding far too happy for seven-thirty on a school day. 'You better get a move on if you want a shower before class.'

Remus nodded and hurried into the bathroom just as Peter (thankfully fully dressed) was coming out, almost bumping into him.

'Whoops, sorry,' Peter said. 'My fault, I was going too fast.'

'James, you know you can take your clothes into the cubicle, right?' Sirius asked. 'You don't have to parade around the dorm half-naked.'

James shrugged. 'I always forget. Be grateful I remember the towel.'

'Merlin, save us all from a naked James,' Peter said, looking up at the ceiling and putting his arms in the air. 'Anything but that!'

James threw his towel at him. The hair one, thankfully, not the one around his waist.

Remus, heroically in Sirius' opinion, made it as far as halfway through Transfiguration before he gave in and asked to go to the Hospital Wing.

Professor McGonagall looked at him with sympathy and nodded. 'Of course. Would you take him, please, Mister Black? And come straight back.'

Sirius smiled sweetly at her. 'As if I would ever dream of doing anything but come straight back.'

He grabbed Remus' bag for him, even though it was charmed to be feather-light, and held his arm out so Remus could use it to haul himself up. Remus let go as soon as he gained his balance, but when they reached the hallway, he leaned into him.

'Will you help me? My legs are shaky.'

Sirius, bending awkwardly, put his arm around the back of Remus' shoulders so he could lean on him easier. 'Is this okay?'

Turning his head into Sirius' neck, Remus hummed in affirmation.

Sirius got the strangest feeling Remus was smelling him, and he shivered at the sensation of his breath against his neck.

They stumbled their way to the Hospital Wing, and when they arrived Madam Pomfrey looked surprised—probably because Remus' face was still buried in Sirius' neck—but she quickly composed herself.

'What seems to be the matter, Mister Lupin?' she asked.

Sirius glanced around the ward and on seeing it empty, he quirked an eyebrow at the young medi-witch and jerked his head at Remus. 'It's his time of the month.'

Remus started shaking next to him, and snorted, before laughing, and then groaning in pain.

'Oh, shit. Sorry, Remus. I shouldn't make you laugh.' Sirius helped Remus over to the closest bed and sat him down.

'He seems really ill this month, is he going to be okay?'

'I've had worse, Sirius. I'll be fine, don't worry. You should get back to class.'

Sirius nodded but walked over to Remus and bent forward to whisper in his ear before he left.

'See you tonight, Wolf Boy.'


'So, you told your friends?' Madam Pomfrey asked him after Sirius had left, taking the source of his comforting scent with him. But after walking so close together on the way there, the smell still lingered on his clothes and skin, and his head swam every time he took a breath.

Remus shook his head. 'It's just Sirius, and I didn't tell him. He figured it out.'

'Do you think you can trust him?'

'He's known since September, but he only told me he knew last week. I can trust him,' Remus said. And he truly believed it, too. Sirius had proven himself more than enough.

Madam Pomfrey nodded. 'Well, it's your decision. I'll have to inform the Headmaster, though.'

Remus had been expecting that and agreed, making a mental note to tell Sirius Dumbledore might want a chat.

At eight-thirty, Madam Pomfrey disillusioned him and led him out of the castle, saying goodbye to him at the Whomping Willow and leaving him to lock himself up. With his wand held in his left hand lighting the way, Remus stumbled over the uneven ground of the tunnel, running his right hand along the wall to support his weight. When he reached the ladder at the end, he grabbed onto it and paused to gather his strength for the climb.

'Hey, Wolf Boy.'

Remus almost jumped out of his skin when Sirius appeared in front of him, holding James' invisibility cloak; realising too late that he'd completely forgotten to ask Sirius not to come until after he'd transformed.

'You scared the life out of me,' he said, clutching his hand to his chest to calm his racing heart.

Sirius chuckled. 'You didn't smell me?' he asked like it was a totally normal question, proving to Remus that Sirius really had done his homework. Did he know Remus had been smelling him on the way to the Hospital Wing? He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment.

'Your scent is all over me. I didn't notice.'

'What do I smell like?' Sirius asked, his eyes gleaming in the light from Remus' wand. 'I've wanted to know for months, but I couldn't ask you.'

'Like wood-smoke and vanilla. And that soap you use.' Remus said. 'Why are you here so early?'

Sirius hummed. 'I like that, manly but sweet.'

'Yes, it's lovely,' Remus said without thinking. He desperately wanted Sirius to leave, and it was all he could think about. 'But I didn't want you to be here when I… you know.'

'You like my smell?' Sirius asked, grinning like a crazy person.

Remus realised what he'd said and tried to backtrack. 'It's as nice as anyone else's.'

'Nah, you like mine best. It's alright, I won't tell anyone,' Sirius said, winking at him.

Remus blushed even harder but chose not to respond. He was running out of time.

'Look, I need to go up. Can you leave for a bit?'

Sirius' face grew serious in an instant. 'I've heard you transform before, Remus. The first time I came.'

'Oh.'

'I'm sorry you have to go through that, it sounds horrible, and I'll leave if you really want me to. But if you can bear to have me listening, I'd really like to be here when Moony wakes up this month.'

Remus swallowed. Was he being selfish asking Sirius to leave? There wasn't anything to be afraid of if Sirius had already heard it. If hearing his screams hadn't scared him off the first time, it was unlikely they would now. Recalling the unfathomable sadness he'd woken up with the previous month, and the joy and contentment that was present in all his recent dreams of the wolf, he sighed. He was being selfish. If he was going to force the wolf to live a life of complete isolation, the least he could do was to allow him the pseudo-companionship Sirius was offering.

His suffering wasn't the wolf's fault.

'Alright, you can stay. But can you go down the passage a little way until you hear me shut the trapdoor?' he blushed again. 'I have to get undressed and then drop my clothes into the tunnel.'

Sirius quirked his eyebrow, but thankfully refrained from making a comment on Remus' imminent nudity. 'Sure, no problem. And thank you. For letting me stay, I mean.'

Remus watched Sirius walk down the tunnel a few feet, before hauling himself up the ladder. The conversation had taken a while, and he was cutting it fine. He pulled off his clothes and stuffed them into his bag without the care he would usually take, and a moment later, his Marauders' Crest joined them.

When he dropped the bag into the tunnel, he felt rude not saying anything, so he called, 'See you in the morning,' to Sirius, before slamming the trapdoor closed without waiting for a reply and muttering 'Colloportus,' to lock it. He stowed his wand on the mantelpiece above the fire where the wolf couldn't get at it and breathed a sigh of relief. He'd made it.

The relief was short-lived. A moment later, he bent over double as crippling pain overtook his body, and he screamed.


The wolf lifted his head from his paws and looked around. The fire was still blazing, as it had been since the first day he'd spent there. He was no longer worried about it, though. It never spread, and the warmth that came from it was pleasant. As he stretched his muscles, he felt the familiar, comforting presence in the air.

Pack-mate was back!

He barked and jumped to his feet, before bounding over to the shape on the ground and howling a greeting.

Pack-mate responded with the strange noises he didn't understand.

He barked again and ran around in a circle. It wasn't enough; he had too much energy. He needed to run. So he did. He ran around the whole space twice, then through the hole in the wall to the other space and back again. It still wasn't enough, so he ran up the slope and jumped onto the soft thing, back onto the floor, down the slope and returned to the shape to bark at pack-mate and let him know he was still there.

The wolf completed this circuit several times before he'd burnt off enough energy to settle down and listen to pack-mate. He curled up as close as he could get, lowered his head to his paws and closed his eyes.


'See you in the morning.' Remus' voice echoed down the tunnel, followed by a loud thud. Sirius turned around and strolled back to the ladder. The trapdoor was firmly shut and Remus' bag was lying in a heap on the ground.

'Good luck, mate,' he whispered, before lowering himself to the floor with his back against the wall to wait.

Remus' screams started a moment later, sending a chill down Sirius' spine. That had been close. He'd known what to expect this time, but it was still hard to listen to the heart-wrenching sound of his friend's pain, and he looked around for something, anything, to distract him. His eyes alighted on Remus' bag. He hesitated, but another scream from above decided it, Remus would understand.

He rifled through the contents. Textbooks, homework assignments, clothes and shoes. Literally nothing interesting at all. But he needed something to distract him from the noise. He pulled out a blank sheet of parchment and Remus' muggle pen and shrugged. Why not give Remus something to read in the morning to cheer him up?

Hey, Wolf Boy,

By the time you're reading this, it'll be morning. So, I hope you're okay. I won't be able to be there when you wake up, but I'll be thinking of you.

I just said goodbye to you for the night, and I hope you don't mind that I looked in your bag, but I needed a distraction. I'm sure you can understand why. But enough about that. I'm writing this letter to cheer you up, not remind you of unpleasant things.

It was nice being able to help you today. Openly, I mean, instead of in secret. It's been so hard not being able to do more for you the past few months. And that sounds so selfish considering what you're suffering while I write this, but it's true nonetheless. I want to do more to help you. And Moony. Because I think he suffers almost as much as you do, and none of this is his fault. I will find a way, Remus. That's a promise.

I love that you finally know that I know. And I love it even more that you trust me knowing. Gods, that sounds sappy, but I don't care, I'm not going to throw this away and start again. This letter will comprise my complete and unedited thoughts. Lucky you! While I'm on the topic of trust, I want to say thank you for letting me help you get used to touching people. I know how hard it is for you, and I feel honoured to be the one helping you with it. Alright, that's enough sappiness. You've stopped screaming, and everything has gone quiet.

Wait. Moony just barked and came running over to the trapdoor to say hello.

Oh Gods, Remus, I'm laughing so hard.

So, Moony came over to the trapdoor and howled. And I said, 'Good evening Moony, I'm sorry for not coming last time, I couldn't get away, but I missed you.'

I have no idea if he can understand me, probably not, but he got so excited. He barked at me again, and then it sounded like he was running in circles on the spot. The next thing I hear is a series of thumps coming from all different directions. I think he was running around the ground floor in excitement. After that, he ran upstairs and back down again, before coming back to the trapdoor to bark some more. He's done this four times already, and he's still going. Each time he returns, I speak to him, and he barks. And then off he goes again. I'm getting the impression he missed me.

Remus, why don't you miss me this much?

I'm really not feeling the love, Remus. You are shirking your duties.

Moony has finally stopped running around now, and he's whining at me, so I'm going to talk to him for a bit.

Hi, again, Wolf Boy, (It just occurred to me you might find that nickname offensive. Please tell me if you don't like it and I'll stop.)

It's 3 am now, and Moony's pretty settled. He didn't whine when I stopped talking this time. Which is good, because I've run out of things to say, I've just been counting out loud for the last hour. I think it's safe to say he doesn't understand me, and that's probably a good thing because if I had to find several hours' worth of interesting topics to talk about every month, I would fail miserably.

Remus, I've just reread what I wrote earlier, and I'm so embarrassed. I'm still going to give it to you, I'm a Gryffindor, not a coward. But please disregard the sappiness. I was under a great deal of emotional strain when I wrote it.

I don't think my handwriting has been this bad since I first learnt to use a quill, Remus. In my defence, I am holding my wand in one hand to light the page, and so cannot hold the parchment still while I write, and it keeps moving. You would be laughing if you were here, but, of course, if you were here, I would not be writing this letter, and so there would be nothing to laugh at. That is a conundrum.

Remus, I think I might be very tired, I'm not sure I'm making all that much sense anymore. I will continue writing, though, because I can't risk falling asleep down here. Not again.

I was going to write something else, Remus. But I don't remember what it was. Where do you think thoughts go when they're forgotten? I like to think there's a special place where all the forgotten thoughts get together. I bet it's fun there.

I think it's time for me to go. Moony's been quiet for a while now, and if I stay much longer, I think I might fall asleep. The last thing we want is for Madam Pomfrey to find me here.

I will see you soon, Nerd Boy.

Marauderingly yours,

Sirius.