"December 31st, 1999" A crude spaceship flies through space, cruising over and under planets.

"Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and the gorilla starts throwing barrels at you."

A planet opens up and a huge gorilla starts throwing barrels at the spaceship. It dodges a few but one hits it, and it explodes. The gorilla thumps its chest and "Game Over" flashes on the screen. The spaceship and gorilla aren't real and Jaune is playing an arcade game called "Monkey Fracas Jr". The game is against the wall of a pizzeria called Panucci's Pizza.

"And that's how you play the game!"

"You stink, loser!"

Panucci, a middle-aged balding man wearing a vest, leans over the counter with a pizza box, "Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out! C'mon!"

Jaune sighs, takes the pizza from him and walks out. Vale City Street. Jaunne cycles past people outside O'Grady's Pub enjoying their New Millennium Eve. A cab pulls up and he sees his girlfriend inside.

"Michelle, baby! Where you going?"

"It's not working out, Jaune." Next to her is a guy with his arm around her. She leans out the window and yells, "I put your stuff out on the sidewalk! "

Jaune was biking toward his delivery repeating the mantra "I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life."

He arrives at Applied Cryogenics. He stops outside a building and locks up his bike. A man sneaks up behind him, cuts the chain and steals his bike.

"Happy new year!" the thief yelled.

Jaune walked inside the Applied Cryogenics Corridor. He steps out of the elevator on the 64th floor and knocks on a door marked "Applied Cryogenics". A sign underneath indicates "No Power Failures Since 199[7]". There is no response at the door and he goes in.

The room is empty and there are no lights on. Strange pods about 6ft tall line one of the walls. There are a few other machines around the room and a desk and a chair in the middle of the room. Jaune wipes some condensation from a window on one of the pods, revealing the face of an inanimate man inside.

"Hello?" he turned around, "Pizza delivery for, uh…" He reads the delivery note. "I.C. Wiener? Aw, crud! I always thought at this point in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls!" He sits down on the chair, puts his feet on the desk and opens a can of beer. "Here's to another lousy millennium." He unenthusiastically raises his hand and toasts.

Times Square. Crowds have gathered for the countdown. "10" appears on a huge screen.

"Ten!"

"Neuf!"

"Otto!"

"Saba!"

"Eksi!"

"Wu!"

"Char!"

"Thathu!"

"Nee!"

"One!"

Jaune unenthusiastically blows a noise maker and starts losing his balance on the chair. It tips back and he waves his arms around trying to regain his balance. As he falls, he doesn't see the shadow of a small creature under the desk. The chair tips back and Jaune falls off it and rolls backwards into cryogenic freezer number 40. The dial on the machine automatically sets itself for 1000 years.

"What the-?!" He looks around and screams. In a flash he is frozen in time.

Days and nights and eventually years pass à la The Time Machine as he stays locked in the freezer. Civilisation is destroyed by aliens twice until eventually huge buildings spring up around Applied Cryogenics. The timer stops 1000 years later, and the door opens. Jaune is unfrozen.

Initially disorientated, he stumbles around and notices something to his right. He presses his face against a large window and stares in awe.

"My God! It's the future. My parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend; I'll never see any of them again. YAHOO!"

Jaune continues looking out of the window. The door opens and two shadows walk in.

"Welcome to the world of tomorrow!" one man dramatically declared.

The other shadow turns on the light. They are lab technicians both wearing white lab coats. The dramatic one, Terry, is a blonde Caucasian with large glasses. The other, Lou, is a black-haired and a little tired of Terry's shit.

"Why do you always have to say it that way?"

"Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called showmanship?" He turns to Jaune. "Come, your destiny awaits!"

The technicians leave Fry outside the Fate Assignment Officer's office.

"Have a nice future." Lou said as the door slid up.

"Cool! Just like in Star Trek!" The door closes on his head. "Ow!"

Inside the Fate Assignment Officer's Office. A woman wearing a black uniform stands with her back to Jaune looking at a clipboard. She has white hair held up in a ponytail.

"Good afternoon, sir." Jaune is impressed with what he sees and ogles until Winter turns around. She has one huge eye in the middle of her face, which he screams at. "Name?"

"Uh, Jaune."

"I'm Winter. Now, it's New Year's Eve so I'd like to decide your fate quickly and get out of here."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"As long as it's not about my eye."

"Uh…"

"Is it about my eye?"

"Sort of."

Winter sighs, "Just ask the question."

"What's with the eye?"

"I'm an alien, alright? Now let's drop the subject."

"Cool, an alien! Has your race taken over the Earth?"

"No, I just work here."

Jaune looks out the window. A passing blimp displays "Happy New Year 3000". Winter follows his gaze.

"Wait a minute! Is that blimp accurate?"

"Yep. It's December 31st, 2999."

"My God! A million years!"

"I'm sure this must be very upsetting for you."

"Y'know, I guess it should be but, actually, I'm glad. I had nothing to live for in my old life. I was broke, I had a humiliating job, and I was beginning to suspect my girlfriend might be cheating on me."

"Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator."

Jaune lies on a metal table surrounded by probing equipment. Winter puts a single-lensed goggle on and presses a button. Causing Jaune to squeak. Winter tears off a printout and reads it while Jaune starts to get dressed.

"Interesting. Your DNA test shows one living relative. He's your great-great-great-great-great-great-great…"

Time passes as she continues while Jaune gets dressed.

"…great-great-great-great-great nephew."

"That's great! What's the little guy's name?"

"Professor Oscar P. Ozpin."

She turns the page over to show Jaune the photo. Ozpin is an old bald man who wears thick glasses.

"Eurgh!"

Winter was typing at her desk while Jaune sat across from her.

"Y'know, I'm the luckiest guy in the whole future. I've been given a second chance and this time I'm not going to be a total loser." A buzzer buzzes. "What's that?"

"Your permanent career assignment."

She turns the screen around to show him his career. "Career: Delivery Boy" is displayed on the screen.

"Delivery boy? No! Not again! Please! Anything else!" He grabs Winter's hand.

"Take your hands off me! You've been assigned the job you're best at just like everyone else."

"What if I refuse?"

"Then you'll be fired—"

"Fine!"

"Out of a cannon into the Sun!"

"But I don't like being a delivery boy."

"Well that's tough! Lots of people don't like their jobs but we do them anyway." She points at a poster of a man wearing a hardhat with the caption "You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do". "You gotta do what you gotta do. Now hold out your hand, he does. "I'm gonna implant your career chip. It'll permanently label you as a delivery boy." She picks up an implant gun. It has two huge spikes on the end.

"Keep that thing away from me!" He yanks back his hand.

He gets up and runs out of the room. Winter chases him back into the freezer room.

"Hold still, dammit. I don't have good depth perception!" She jumps at Jaune, misses, and falls into a cryogenic freezer. It sets itself for 1000 years. "You've got until the count of five to let me out of here. One—" In a flash she is frozen.

"See you in a thousand years!" He starts to walk out but hesitates. He walks back and changes the freeze time to five minutes. "You owe me one."

Jaune walks out and looks at the city of New Vale staring in awe of everything he sees.

"Whoa!"

Spaceships take off, there are traffic jams in the sky and billboards advertising Bachelor Chow. A couple walk past him nearly naked except for some strategically-placed black bars. He looks up and sees people flying through a green tube overhead. He walks around a corner and finds an entrance to the tube. A pedestrian steps in.

"Radio City Mutant Hall." The man is sucked up into the tube.

"Cool!" Jaune steps into the tube. "Um. Cross Town Express?"

The tube sucks him up and he screams as he flies through it. People look up from the street and stare at him. He is taken across the city, past the Statue of Liberty, underwater and finally out the other end smack into a building. A man looks up from his newspaper.

"Pft! Tourist!"

A hover-car flies over a line of traffic on the road and a police car chases it. Jaune walks around a corner and sees a line of people outside a small grey booth.

"Hey! A phone booth! I can call my nephew." An impatient robot joins the queue behind him. She had long orange hair and had her arms crossed while tapping her foot. "Wow! A real live robot! Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?"

"Bit my shiny metal ass."

Jaune looks at her ass, "It doesn't look so shiny to me."

"Shinier than yours, meatbag."

Jaune steps into the booth, overlooking the sign on the side that says "Suicide Booth," he presses a button and nothing happens. The robot steps in behind him.

"Listen, buddy, I'm in a hurry here. Let's try for a two-fer!" She puts a coin on a string in the slot then pulls it out again and chuckles. A pleasant woman's voice speaks.

"Please select mode of death: "Quick and Painless" or "Slow and Horrible."

"Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call." Jaune ignores what was just said.

"You have selected: "Slow and Horrible."

"Great choice!" the robot nudges him as knives, tasers and Jacob's Ladders come out from behind a hatch. "Bring it on, baby!"

Jaune screams.

"C'mon, c'mon! Kill me already! By the way, my name's Penny!" She holds out her hand.

"Help! What's happening?"

The sharp objects move forward. Jaune pushes Penny to the side of the booth. The sharp things stab and twist at the air and finally return to behind the hatch.

"You are now dead. Thank you for using Stop-N-Drop, Remnant's favourite suicide booth since 2008."

Jaune jumps out gasping for breath.

"Lousy, stinking rip-off!" Penny kicks the booth. "Well, I didn't have anything else planned for today. Let's go get drunk!"

The timer on Winter's chamber runs out. The door opens and she defrosts.

"Two, three- Hey!"

"Welcome to the world of tomorrow!"

"Shut up, Terry."

Winter was sent to her boss' office.

"This is unacceptable, Winter. You must find this Mr. Arc and install his chip."

"Look, he's just a nobody who doesn't want to be a delivery boy. I'd really rather not force it on him."

"Well that's your job, whether you like it or not. And it's my job to make you do your job whether I like it or not, which I do, very much! Now get to work!" Winter leaves and he puts his feet up on the desk. "Life is good!"

In O'Zorgnax's Pub, Jaune and Penny were sitting at the bar. Penny drinks a bottle of Olde Fortran malt liquor.

"Why would a robot need to drink?"

"I don't need to drink, I can quit anytime I want!" She belches fire. "So, they made you a delivery boy, huh? Man, that's as bad as my job."

"Really? What do you do, Penny?"

"I'm a bender. I bend girders, that's all I'm programmed to do."

"You any good at it?"

"You kidding? I was a star! I could bend a girder to any angle: 30 degrees, 32 degrees, you name it! 31. But I couldn't go on living once I found out what the girders were for."

"What?"

"Suicide booths!" She finishes his drink and swallows the bottle. "Well, Jaune, it was a pleasure meeting you. I'm gonna go kill myself." She gets up to leave.

"Wait! You're the only friend I have!"

"You really want a robot for a friend?"

"Yeah, ever since I was six."

"Well, OK. But I don't want people thinking we're robo-sexuals. So, if anyone asks, you're my debugger."

Jaune looks out the window and sees Winter

"Oh, no, it's the Cyclops!" He crouches down behind Penny. "Don't look! Don't look!"

"I'm not looking!" Her eyes extend out of her skull and zoom in to Winter.

Outside O'Zorgnax's Pub Winter shows Jaune's photo to a man. The man points to him inside the pub. She gasps and Jaune and Penny run off. Winter talks into her wrist communicator.

"This is officer 1B-DI requesting back-up."

The cops, Smitty the human and URL the robot, are standing right behind Winter. Smitty replies in his wrist communicator.

"We'll be there in five minutes."

Penny and Jaune stop outside a marble building.

"We can hide in here. It's free on Tuesdays!" She runs up the steps dragging Jaune behind him.

Inside the Head Museum, hundreds of heads in jars are stacked on shelves. Leonard Nimoy's head in a jar is on a platform in the middle of one of the rooms.

"Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard Nimoy."

"Spock? Hey! Hey... Do the thing!" He does the Vulcan salute from Star Trek. Nimoy chuckles.

"I don't do that anymore."

"This is unbelievable! What do you heads do all day?"

"We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet dignity."

"Feeding time!" A nurse shakes a box of what looks like fish food over the jar. Nimoy eats what comes out.

The door opens and Jaune turns around. Enter Winter, Smitty and URL.

"Hmm." Winter looks around and sees Jaune and Penny hiding behind a shelf in amongst other assorted heads. "I'm sorry, Jaune, but I have to install your career chip."

"Yeah, well, if you're sorry why are you doing it?"

"It's my job. You gotta do what you gotta do!" Jaune backs away and hits a shelf with the heads of Vale Headmasters on it. "Watch it!"

Richard Nixon's head falls off and the jar smashes.

"That's it! You just made my list!" He jumps up and starts biting Fry's arm.

"Ow! Stop it! Down, boy! Bad Headmaster!"

Penny tries to pull Nixon's head off.

"Alright, buddy, step away from the head!"

Jaune and Penny put their hands up but Nixon is still warbling trying to bite into Jaune.

"I'm gonna get 24th century on his ass!" URL declares as they turn on their lightsabers and start to hit Jaune.

"Please, officers, there's no need to use force." Winter pleas.

"Let us handle this, weird-y." URL hits Penny but she has no reaction to it.

"Oh, come on, he's just a poor kid from the Stupid Ages."

"Keep your big nose out of this, eyeball!"

"No-one makes fun of my nose."

She kicks Smitty and URL. Jaune and Penny run off and hide in a room for the head of famous criminals.

"Damn!"

"You guys were totally out of control."

"It's our job. We're peace officers."

"Yeah, you know the law: You gotta do what you gotta do."

Winter stops and considers everything that just transpired.

Penny locks the door, "Oh, we're trapped!"

Jaune looks to the end of the room. There is a window with bars across it.

"Wait a second. You're a bender, right? We can get out of here if you just bend the bars."

"Dream on, skin tube. I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes. What do I look like, a de-bender?"

"Who cares what you're programmed for. If someone programmed you to jump off a bridge would you do it?"

"I'll have to check my program…yep."

"Open up!" Winter yells from the other side of the door.

"C'mon, Penny! It's up to you to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots from animals…and animal robots."

"You're full of crap, Jaune!" She turns and a dangling wire catches on her hair and electrocutes her. "You make a persuasive argument, Jaune!"

She starts to bend the bars.

"Come on, Penny! You can do it!"

"I…can't…do…it…" the bar break off completely.

"Yes!"

"You were right, Fry! From now on I'm going to bend what I want, when I want, who I want! I'm unstoppable!" Her arms fall off but she manages to somehow reattach them without any help.

"I don't know how you did that."

As Winter kicks down the door Penny and Jaune dive out the window.

Jaune runs off and Penny bends the bars back so Winter can't climb through. He runs after Jaune while Winter reaches out through the bars.

"Wait!"

"No, thanks."

Jaune and Penny run into a dead-end alley. There is a drain below them with a grate over the top.

"Looks like one of us will have to bend this grate." She flexes his fingers but Jaune just lifts it. Penny groans and they climb down the ladder. She reaches back up to the grate and bends it just for the hell of it. She chuckles and follows Jaune.

Jaune and Penny step off the ladder and look over the vast ruins of the city that looks like the city from Beneath The Planet Of The Apes. Collapsed buildings and rubble litter the streets and holes in the roof let in a few shafts of light.

"Good Lord! What is this?"

"It's the decaying ruins of Old Vale. Welcome home, pal!"

Jaune and Penny were walking down a ruined street.

"It's my old neighbourhood. Man, this brings back a lot of memories."

"Keep 'em to yourself, Pops!"

They walk to the Ruins of Rockefeller Center Skating Rink. Jaune leans over a wall.

"This is where I brought my girlfriend on our very first date." In a flashback Jaune was skating with Michele, but when the flashback ends the ice is gone, replaced with murky green waters inhabited by a green tentacled creature.

"My God! She's gone. Everyone I ever knew or cared about is gone."

"Wait! There's someone you know!" Penny points at Winter, standing with her implant gun.

"Oh, can't you leave me alone? I'm miserable enough already."

"Look, I know it's not much consolation but I understand how you feel."

"No, you don't. I've got no home, no family—"

"No friends." Penny adds.

"My whole world is gone. You can't possibly understand what it feels like to be so alone."

"I understand. I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet. My parents abandoned me here as a baby and I don't even know what galaxy they were from. I know how it feels to be alone."

"Look, Winter, I don't understand this world but you obviously do, so I give up. If you really think I should be a delivery boy, I'll do it." He holds out his hand to Winter. She gets the implant gun ready. Jaune cringes and looks away. The gun clicks but he feels nothing. He opens his eyes and sees Winter drop her own chip on the floor. "Your chip. What are you doing?"

"Quitting."

"Why?"

"Because I've always wanted to. I just never realised it before I met you."

She puts her hand on his and smiles. Penny puts her hand on top.

"What is the matter with you?"

Penny quickly takes her hand off, "I just wanted to be part of the moment."

"Hey! She stole my ring!"

"Sorry." She hands Winter's ring back. "Well, that solves the mystery of the missing ring. This calls for a drink."

She reaches into his chest cabinet and pulls out three bottles of beer…and drinks them all herself.

"I don't wanna spoil the party but we're all job deserters now. We're unemployed and we have nowhere to go."

"Correction: We're unemployed but we have a doddering old relative to mooch off of." He holds up the picture of Farnsworth.

Professor Ozpin is sitting on his chair asleep in front of the TV.

"Hello, I'm Dick Clark's head. Welcome to a special year 3000 edition of New Year's Rockin' Eve!" The crowds around him cheer. The doorbell rings and Ozpin wakes up.

He opens the door to see Jaune, Winter, and Penny.

"Who are you?"

"I'm your dear old Uncle Jaune."

"I don't have an Uncle Jaune."

"You do now!" Penny pushes her way inside.

Ozpin and Jaune are hooked up to a machine, "By God, I am your nephew! This is absolutely incredible!"

"Can we have some money?" Penny leans in.

"Oh, my, no." Ozpin smiles. "Let me show you around. That's my lab table and this is my work-stool. And over there is my intergalactic spaceship!" He points in the general direction of a big green spaceship in a huge hangar next to the lab. "And here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire."

He opens the drawer but Jaune is more interested in the ship. "Whoa! A real live spaceship!"

"I designed it myself. Let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used."

"Attention, job deserters! Come out with your hands up. We have you partially surrounded." Smitty declared.

Winter gasps.

"No!" Jaune yells

Penny literally shits a brick.

Outside Planet Express Smitty holds Nixon's head in a jar. The glass is cracked and taped in places.

"Get those bums!" Nixon garbled.

"Well, we're boned!" Penny shrugged.

"Can't we get away in the ship?" Winter asked.

"I suppose it is technically possible. Though I am already in my pyjamas." Ozpin grumbled.

They run into the ship with Penny carrying Ozpin under her arm. Jaune runs in and sit in a seat in front of a control panel.

"I'll get us out of here."

He presses a few buttons and pulls a lever. A little hatch opens in the control panel, a paper cup come down and the machine fills it with coffee.

"Can anyone drive stick?" Ozpin asked.

"I can." Winter took off her jacket, "As long as I don't have to parallel park."

Inside the hangar Klaxons beep and a huge piece of machinery lifts the ship to a 45-degree angle. The entire hangar roof retracts so it is open for the ship. Peace officers armed with laser rifles are stationed outside. URL sees the roof open.

"If they try to take off, give 'em an ass-ful of laser."

Smitty nods.

"Prepare for lift-off. Ten. "

"Nine!"

"Amania!"

"Seven!"

Aliens in front of a screen gurgle as they raise their glasses.

"Five!"

"Four."

"Three."

"Two." Penny was so tense she was ripping the arms off her chair.

"One!"

"Blast-off!"

The ship takes off while people cheer in the new millennium and fireworks explode all over the city. "3000" is projected onto the moon and the ship flies between the fireworks.

"Fire! Fire!"

The peace officers fire their laser guns randomly into the air.

"I can't see nothing. Pretty though!"

The altitude of the ship increases and laser bolts narrowly miss it. They clear New Vale airspace, and flies through the atmosphere and heads through the solar system. Everyone cheers.

"So, I guess, without jobs, we'll be fugitives forever."

"Not necessarily. Are you three, by any chance, interested in becoming my new spaceship crew?"

"New crew? W-What happened to the old crew?"

"Of those poor sons of- But that's not important. The important thing is I need a new crew. Anyone interested?"

"Yes! Yes! That's exactly the job I've always wanted!"

"Thanks for the offer, Professor, but we don't have the proper career chips."

"Oh, that won't be a problem. As luck would have it, I saved the chips from my previous crew."

He empties the career chips out of an envelope marked "Contents Of Space Wasp's Stomach."

"This is awesome! Are we gonna fly through space fighting monsters and teaching alien women to looove?"

"If by that you mean "transporting cargo" then yes. It's a little home business I started to fund my research."

"Cool! What's my job gonna be?"

"You will be responsible for ensuring that the cargo reaches its destination."

The smile fades from Fry's face. "So, I'm gonna be a delivery boy?"

"Exactly!"

"Alright! I'm a delivery boy!" He waves his hands in the air and the ship flies on.


Only one person interested really?

Gotta say I'm shocked given the amount of people complaining and PMing me JUST TO COMPLAIN.

Still PM if genuinely interested though.

I also have a P/a/treon where my comic book will be on. Also, I have found an independent animator so not only is "A Maiden Out of Time" becoming a comic book, but soon its own show! Please support us, it means the world to us. I know financials in world are pretty fucked right now, so I lowered all the tiers to $1. One Dollar and everything is open for your pleasure.

Happy New Year everyone!

Let's all hope 2021 is better.