All rights to Kiera Cass. This book is designed to make story edits that largely follow the original plot. So even in the edited parts it is often largely Cass's writing.
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Author's note: End it here, like 500 words into this chapter where it is still so perfect. But atlast, it does not end here. *author crying*
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(edit)
CHAPTER 29
(Hashish T for the first 5 paragraphs)
WE HAD BREAKFAST IN MAXON'S room. While we both should have gone down to breakfast, neither of us wanted to and Maxon could technically excuse the elite from meals. We had longer to be together because the advising meeting this morning was canceled so the king could work on an international policy matter that didn't concern Maxon. We fed each other strawberries while in our underwear which felt simultaneously perfect and insane.
At last we finished and this night together had to come to an end. I brushed the blue and black bruise under his eye lightly and he tried not to wince. "I'm afraid I have to go get ready for the day now My Maxon."
His eyes read only of content disappointment and he kissed me gently. I got up, finding my dress, and sliding it on. "Maxon can you help me zip it up?"
He walked over to me with a smirk on his face and hunger in his eyes. "Well that may be a conflict of interest. You see, you're asking me to put more clothes on you, when I want you in less."
I dropped the dress. I can stay a little longer.
When I finally made it to my room my maids playfully questioned me on where I had been, knowing full well the answer and of course promising to say nothing. I let them take extra long making me up, I didn't have anywhere I had to be for a while and I was feeling wistful.
Right as I was getting ready to leave I heard a frantic knock at the door and called "come in."
It was Kriss, "America come with me. You have to see this!"
I wasn't quite sure what Kriss was possibly talking about, but she seemed overwhelmed in almost an excited and slightly jealous way. She took me to the second floor balcony that looks out to the front of the castle.
I could hear it before I could see it: thousands of people and...my name. Maxon, the Queen, Celeste, Elise, and the King were already there, the King off to the side of the window looking rather silly with his nose wrapped up.
I looked through the glass and gasped. There were signs.
"Let Maxon choose America."
"America for Princess."
"America IS the princess of Illea."
"Maxon." I whispered to him.
"It worked." He replied softly.
All eyes turned to the King. "Fine, choose her."
"Seriously?" I confirmed.
"Unfortunately. You know my opinions so I don't feel the need to add anything else." And with that he walked away.
Maxon immediately leaned in and kissed me. A kiss the entire nation could see. And everything was perfect. If only we never moved on from this moment.
A guard moved his way through the group and whispered something to Maxon. I saw his face go dark and his shoulders slump.
"Are you all right?" I asked, not wanting him to suffer alone. Maxon pulled me a little aways from the group so we would have some privacy.
He looked at me, love and sympathy in his face. "I'm so sorry, America. I hate to have to tell you this. Your father has died."
I didn't quite understand the words for a minute. But no matter how I arranged them in my head, they all led to the same unthinkable conclusion.
And then the hallway tilted, and Maxon's expression became urgent. The last thing I felt was Maxon's arms keeping me from hitting the floor.
…...
"—understand she'll want to visit her family."
"If she does, it can only be for a day at the most. She is too large of a target. She's an advisor, an Elite, and you told the whole country you wanted to choose her."
(cass)
I opened my eyes. I was on my bed, but not under my covers. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Mary was in the room with me.
The shouting voices were muted, and I realized that was because they were just outside my door.
"That won't be enough. She loved her father dearly; she'll want time," Maxon argued.
I heard something like a fist hitting a wall, and Mary and I both jumped at the sound. "Fine," the king huffed. "Four days. That's it."
(edit-though this is much more on par with the original now)
There was a pause before Maxon dared to speak. "I want to go with her."
"Like hell you will!" King Clarkson yelled.
"You agreed and I want to marry her. Am I supposed to send her alone?"
"Yes! If she dies, there's still other options. If you die, it's a whole other issue. You're staying here!"
I thought the fist hitting the wall this time was Maxon's. "I am not a commodity! And neither are they! I wish for once you would look at me and see a person."
"Maxon." The king bit, before his voice opened out. "You're not a commodity, you're my son...I love you… And I am not going to send you into mortal danger." It was forced, it was tense, but it was there. The first time Maxon heard his father admit he loved him. Maxon stopped fighting with his father, I doubt he had anyway to respond to that. He had been waiting his whole life to hear those three words from him.
The door opened, and Maxon came in. "I'm so sorry," he said, walking over and sitting on the bed. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"Is it real?"
"Yes, my love. He's gone." He gently took my hand, looking pained. "There was a problem with his heart."
I sat up and threw myself into Maxon's arms. He held me tightly, letting me weep into his shoulder.
"Hush, My America. It'll be all right," Maxon soothed. "You'll fly out tomorrow morning to go pay your respects."
(Cass)
"I didn't get to say good-bye. I didn't . . ."
"America, listen to me. Your father loved you. He was proud you'd done so well. He wouldn't hold this against you."
I nodded, knowing he was right. Practically everything my dad had told me since I'd come here was about how proud he was.
"This is what you need to do, okay?" he instructed, wiping tears off my cheeks. "You need to sleep as best as you can. You'll fly out tomorrow and stay at home for four days with your family. I wanted to get you more time, but Father is quite insistent."
"It's okay."
(edit)
"Your maids are making an appropriate dress for the funeral, and they'll pack everything you need. You're going to have to take one of them with you, Cane is coming since he knew your father, and we'll send some guards. Speaking of which," he said, standing to acknowledge the figure standing in the open door. "Officer Leger, thank you for coming."
"Not at all, Your Majesty. I apologize for being out of uniform, sir."
Maxon reached out and shook Aspen's hand. "Least of my concerns right now. I'm sure you know why you're here."
"I do." Aspen turned to me. "I'm sorry for your loss Lady America. I know how much your father means to you."
"What about you? Since your father died my dad was the closest thing you had to-" my voice broke.
Aspen looked to Maxon for permission before coming to sit next to me, "Hey Mer, you don't get to do that. You don't get to worry about me right now. Just focus on breathing." I nodded and Aspen moved back to a soldier like stance.
"With the elevated rebel activity, we're all concerned about Lady America's safety," Maxon started. "We've already had some local officers dispatched to her home and to the sites being used over the next few days, and there are still palace-trained guards there, of course. But with her actually in the house, I think we should send more."
"Absolutely, Your Majesty."
"And I know you are both familiar with the area and her family. I figured they may be more comfortable with you there, and that you may want to pay your respects."
"Yes sir. That is very kind of you sir."
"You'll be heading up the team going with her. Pick whomever you like, between six and eight guards."
Aspen raised his eyebrows.
"I know," Maxon conceded. "We're stretched tight right now, but at least three of the palace guards we've sent to her house have already abandoned their posts. And I want her to be as safe as, if not safer than, she is here." I wasn't in any position to actually make sounds, but I was sure that wasn't possible. Me leaving the castle right now is extremely dangerous, but I didn't care, I needed to be with my family.
(cass)
"I'll take care of it, sir."
"Excellent. There will also be a maid going with her; watch her as well." He turned to me. "Do you know who you want to go?"
I shrugged, unable to think straight.
Aspen spoke on my behalf. "If I may, I know Anne is your head maid, but I remember Lucy getting along well with your sister and mother. Maybe it would be good for them to see a friendly face right now."
I nodded. "Lucy."
"Very good," Maxon said. "Officer, you don't have much time. You'll be leaving after breakfast."
"I'll get to work, sir. See you in the morning."
Once Aspen left, Maxon came to sit with me again. He reached for my hands, holding them tenderly. "Sometimes when you're upset, you tend to be impulsive." He looked at me, and I actually smiled a little at the accusing look in his eyes. "Try to be sensible while you're away. I need you to take care of yourself."
I rubbed the back of his hands with my thumbs. "I will. I promise."
"Thank you." A sense of peace encircled us, the way it did sometimes. Even though my world would never be the same now, for that moment, with Maxon holding me, the loss didn't ache so much.
(edit)
"Do you want me to stay?" He asked tenderly and I nodded. He leaned his head toward mine until our foreheads touched. And he stayed.
A day later I felt the cold Carolina air, the humidity from the ocean coming inland and making the chill in the air damp. Secretly, I'd hoped for snow, but it didn't happen. I felt guilty for wanting anything at all.
Christmas Day. I'd spent the last few weeks imagining it several different ways. I thought maybe I'd be here, eliminated and home on vacation. We'd all be around our tree, dejected that I wasn't a princess but blissfully happy to be together. I'd also considered opening gifts under the massive tree at the palace, eating myself sick, laughing with the other girls and Maxon, playing with the garden gremlin's in the castle.
Never could I have imagined I'd be bracing myself for the task of putting my father in the ground. He was the one person in my life I thought was invincible.
(Cass)
As the car pulled up to my street, I started to see the masses. Though people ought to be home with their families, they instead crowded outside in the cold. I realized they were hoping to catch a glimpse of me, and I felt a little sick. People pointed as we passed, and some local news crews took footage.
The car stopped in front of my house, and the people waiting started cheering. I didn't understand. Didn't they know why I was here? I walked up the cracked sidewalk with Lucy by my side and six guards surrounding us. No chance was being taken.
"Lady America!" people called.
"Can I have your autograph?" someone screamed, and others joined in.
I kept moving, looking ahead. For once, I felt I could excuse myself from being theirs. I lifted my head to the lights hanging off the roof. Dad did that. Who was going to take them down?
Aspen, at the head of my entourage, knocked on the front door and waited. Another guard came to answer and he and Aspen spoke quickly before we were allowed inside. It was hard to get all of us down the hall, but once the space opened into the living room, I immediately felt something . . . wrong.
This wasn't home anymore.
I told myself I was crazy. Of course this was home. It was just the unfamiliarity of how this was unfolding. Everyone was here, even Kota. But Dad was gone, so it was only natural that it wouldn't seem quite right. And Kenna was holding a baby who I'd never seen in real life before. I'd have to get used to that.
And while Mom was in an apron and Gerad was in his pajamas, I was dressed for dinner at the palace: hair up, sapphires on my ears, and layers of luxurious fabrics draping to my heeled shoes. It felt as if I wasn't welcome for a moment.
But May hopped to her feet and ran to hug me, crying into my shoulder. I held her back. I remembered that this might be a strange adjustment, but this was the only place I could be right now. I had to be with my family.
"America," Kenna said, standing with her child in her arms. "You look so beautiful."
"Thanks," I muttered, embarrassed.
She gave me a one-armed hug, and I peeked into the blankets at my sleeping niece. Astra's little face was serene as she slept, and every few seconds she'd unclench her tiny fist or fidget just a bit. She was breathtaking.
Aspen cleared his throat. "Mrs. Singer, I'm very sorry for your loss."
(edit)
Mom, still seeing Aspen as the little boy who lives around the corner, came right up and gave him a tired hug. "Thank you."
Aspen tried to respond professionally through the hug. "I'm sorry we're not here under better circumstances, but with Lady America home, we're going to have to be quite diligent about security." Ringing authority through his voice, he continued. "We're going to have to ask everyone to stay in this house. I know it'll be tight, but it's only for a few days. And the guards have been provided an apartment nearby so we can rotate easily. We're going to try to be as out of the way as possible."
"Aspen you've always been family. And we understand the need for security, you won't be in the way." I was surprised to see my mom treating Aspen with such affection. I knew that Aspen would talk to my father from time to time, but I didn't know he spoke with my mother. She seemed...relieved, that Aspen would be in charge of security.
"James, Kenna, Kota, we're prepared to leave for your homes to pick up your necessities whenever you're ready to go. If you need some time to make a list, that's fine. We're on your schedule."
(cass)
"I can't stay away from my studio," Kota said. "I have deadlines. There are pieces due."
Aspen, still professional, answered him. "Any materials you need can come to the studio here." He pointed toward our converted garage. "We'll make as many trips as necessary."
Kota crossed his arms and mumbled. "That place is a dump."
"Fine," Aspen said firmly. "The choice is yours. You can either work in the dump, or you can risk your life at your apartment."
The tension in the air was awkward, and very unnecessary at the moment. I decided to break it. "May, you can sleep with me. Kenna and James can have your room."
They nodded.
"Lucy," I whispered. "I want you near us. You might have to sleep on the floor, but I want you close by."
She stood a bit taller. "I wouldn't be anywhere else, miss."
"Where am I supposed to sleep?" Kota demanded.
"With me," Gerad offered, though he didn't seem excited about it.
"Absolutely not!" Kota scoffed. "I'm not sleeping on a bunk bed with a child."
"Kota!" I said, stepping away from my sisters and Lucy. "You can sleep on the couch or in the garage or in the tree house for all I care; but if you don't check your attitude, I'll send you back to your apartment right now! Have some gratitude for the security you've been offered. Need I remind you that tomorrow we're burying our father? Either stop the bickering or go home." I turned on my heel and headed down the hall. Without checking, I knew Lucy was right behind me, suitcase in hand.
I opened the door to my room, waiting for her to come in with me. Once her skirts swished past the frame, I slammed it shut, heaving a sigh.
"Was that too much?" I asked.
"It was perfect!" she replied with delight. "You might as well be the princess already, miss. You're ready for it."
... ... ... …
This is going to get more and more heart wrenching, but stick with it. I promise it is worth it.
Thanks for reading. As always please comment! I love to hear your thoughts!
