Kami's Lookout, Present Day
Piccolo stood with Yamcha as they waited for their other companions to arrive. They were recently given orders from the Galactic Patrol to lead a small platoon to investigate Vegetasei, and the fighters had chosen Dende's place as a rendezvous point to prepare an action plan.
Both men were quiet when Tien and Chiaotzu touched down on the grounds of Kami's Lookout.
"Okay, since the Galactic patrolman came to us for this mission, we need to prepare by following their instructions," Piccolo began.
"Which were…" Yamcha asked, shifting his eyes away to avoid Piccolo's sudden glare.
"Yamcha – you were there with me, you should know the damn instructions too!" Piccolo growled.
"Dude, just cause I was there, doesn't mean I was paying attention – I had my phone, man. I was texting a chick…and I was hoping you would be the one to remember," he admitted with an awkward chuckle.
"Of fucking course," Piccolo sighed heavily with obvious unspoken anger, knowing his patience was most certainly going to be put to the test today. But regardless of his friend's shortcomings, they were on a mission and pressed for time, as they needed to get a ship and make it to Vegetasei before the highly volatile ape people get their planet destroyed once again from a force outside their apparent control.
"The patrolman, Jaco, told us we needed to travel to Planet Vegeta and make sure the newly re-instated planet is up to the new Galactic Standard. That means the Saiyans will need to be informed of their status of being among the living once more, and that if they can't be complicit, they will be destroyed – again. So, our objectives are to report to Bulma to obtain a ship, then travel to Galactic Patrol Headquarters to be further debriefed and given our paperwork and then from there, we'll work with Vegeta and his people to bring their planet up to current code."
"Oh my kai," Tien exclaimed, looking at Piccolo with wide eyes.
"Yeah, what is it?" The Namekian said, rolling his eyes.
"This means…we are the determining factor in whether or not Vegeta's planet passes inspection - ergo - doesn't get blown up…holy shit. He's going to be so pissed, isn't he?" Tien said incredulously.
Piccolo pinched the bridge of his nose. "…Um – so let's cross the communicating-with-Vegeta bridge when we fucking get there. Don't remind me that we still have to do that. Let's try to explain what we need to his wife first. That will be enough of a headache. Now, we were told to lie low on the planet when we disembark, since this will be sensitive information for such a hostile race."
"Wow, way to sugarcoat, buddy. Hostile is putting it lightly," Yamcha smirked.
Piccolo gave an irritated glare.
"Look, Yamcha – if you're going to start taking shots, I'll designate you to be the one we have tell Vegeta about the status of his planet – then we'll see if you're still smirking. Otherwise, keep your stupid comments to yourself. Got it?" Piccolo warned.
"Yeesh, fine. No fun – got it," Yamcha frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.
Piccolo cleared his throat and began again, "Right. So any ideas on how we should lay low and blend in?"
The men all looked around at each other, then shrugged at Piccolo.
Piccolo let out a groan. This was going to be difficult. And irritating, Piccolo thought. As he closed his eyes in agitation, the fighters began offering one ridiculous idea after the next.
Capsule Corp Grounds, Present Day
"Alright, you idiots, what do you want?" Bulma said, still miffed about the abrupt ending of her post- wedding morning sex with Vegeta. After grilling her assistant, Maria, on not using the intercom, but the phone when it's known that the scientist was busy (extracurricular activities needn't be specified), Bulma stomped over to her lab to deal with her unexpected visitors. When she found out who had requested her presence, her anger softened…but not by much.
Piccolo cleared his throat, "Bulma – I'm not sure if you have been informed yet, but the four of us have been chosen to act as Galactic Patrolman and inspect Planet Vegeta."
"Pshh…no way. You, Piccolo? Sure - and maybe Tien – but Yamcha? Oh my god, wait 'till Vegeta finds out…this I gotta tell him," Bulma smirked and Yamcha gave her the dirtiest look he could muster.
"I'd prefer it if you held off telling him for right now, Bulma. Vegeta might not be able to handle the fate of his planet being decided by a bunch of Earthlings just yet. I want that bomb to be dropped preferably when I'm off the premises if you don't mind," Piccolo said crossing his arms uncomfortably.
So tonight then - awesome, Bulma thought, barely concealing a smile.
"So, Bulma. We talked it over with Goku and he thought that this was a great idea-"
"Whoa, whoa – back up – "Goku" and "good idea" in the same sentence?" This was going to be good, Bulma snickered to herself.
"Yes, well, since we need to lay low on the planet and not draw attention to ourselves…we thought it would be smart if we not only kept a low profile – we should blend in."
"Blend in how exactly?" Bulma asked, genuinely intrigued, dropping the smart-ass attitude for the moment.
"Tails. They want tails, Bulma," Piccolo huffed in a tone that suggested he wasn't interested at all in this idea.
Bulma almost snorted. What the fuck?
"WHAT? You all can't be serious – that's the plan you came up with to scoot about Planet Vegeta and avoid suspicion? No wonder Goku said sure – hah!" she laughed, now thoroughly entertained with images of her friends with stupid fake monkey tails glued to their butts.
"You gave our Saiyans back their tails, isn't there a way you could recreate something like that for us four?" Tien questioned seriously.
"Yeah, well, you guys are mostly human - and Namekian - your bodies might reject something like real tails," she said, rationalizing the ridiculous idea.
"Fake tails would be stupid, Bulma," Yamcha told her, eyes shifting to the blue tail she was sporting around her waist.
"As opposed to what – real ones on fake Saiyans?" Bulma shot right back.
Tien crossed his arms. He knew the tail idea sounded far-fetched at best, but they didn't really springboard any other ideas after swinging by Goku's place and asking for his thoughts. The idea still sounded pretty dumb regardless. Piccolo was willing to forego to whole ordeal, since he knew his fellow fighters were going to have a much easier time adapting on the planet than him, who was...a rather large and green sore thumb.
"If I had my way, Bulma, we would just go, sans alterations. But since "blending in" was implicitly expressed by the Galactic Patrol to ensure better chances of survival on the planet, we need that big brain of yours to think of a way to aid us," Piccolo stated bluntly.
"But dude – Piccolo, you're green, man. How are we supposed to cover you up?" Yamcha asked, scratching his temple.
"And Bulma is blue! Like, how many blue Saiyans have you seen? Don't you think she's going to have a hard time too?" Tien interjected.
Bulma sighed. Thanks Tien, good point, she thought, putting her fist on her cheek.
"I don't know, bro, considering we've seen maybe less than half of like, one percent of the Saiyan population…your guess is as good as mine, right?" Yamcha countered.
"Let's ask Vegeta! I know he's scary, but he'd obviously know more than any one of us, don't you think?" Chiaotzu chimed in.
"Um – NO, I'm not doing that," Yamcha argued, not wanting to bring him into this equation, giving that smug asshole prince more ammunition to humiliate him with.
"Why? You really think he's gonna fight you over a question?" Tien smirked, knowing this was pressing a big button when it came to Yamcha's pride.
Before Yamcha could retaliate, Bulma slammed her fists down on her desk.
"Shut up! Holy shit. I have an idea – one that's better than sticking freaking tails on you guys. I'll have it ready by Friday. Now get out, you nerds. I've now got more work to do," Bulma said impatiently as she shoved them all out of her lab.
