AN: Here it is! We are finally meeting Pip!
...
Chapter 33: Bella
Wednesday, May 15
Malibu, California
40 Weeks
Pip's due date had come and gone, and there had been no sign of labor. Sure, Pip's due date had technically been only a couple of days ago, but I was fucking over being pregnant. I was in pain, I wasn't sleeping, I was moody as fuck, and on top of everything my sex drive was so low that I hadn't been with Edward in weeks. It was annoying, because part of me that always fucking wanted him was still there, but my body had shut it down hard. It was enough to drive me up the fucking walls.
We'd been in contact with Dr. Pierce, who had assured us that due dates weren't anything final. We had to be patient, and keep checking in. She told me that if Pip stayed in there too long, they'd induce labor. As far as I was fucking concerned, one minute past the due date was already too long.
To top off everything, I'd been under 24-hour watch. When Edward couldn't be home with me, one of our friends or his parents came over to be with me. I loved them all for caring, but I was going crazy without any sort of alone time.
Edward had left this morning for a meeting, though he was due back within the next half hour or so. Before he'd left, Rose had come over to be with me. Of our friends, Rose tended to hover the least, so I actually didn't mind that I'd be spending the morning with her. She sat at Edward's piano, composing while I tried to get work done in the living room or office. She let me have space, and for that, I was eternally grateful.
Today I'd decided to work out on the patio. It was warming up, and an absolutely gorgeous spring day. I'd finished my edits and had sent them back to Tanya a while a go, so I technically didn't have a whole lot to do for my book, but Tanya had encouraged me to start writing an outline for a second book. Pre-sales had opened up, and they'd been through the roof for my first book. Tanya knew already that there would be demand for another book.
I leaned out on the patio, stretching in the warm sun and sighing deeply. It was too gorgeous a day to be on my laptop.
Snapping the computer shut, I set it aside and stretched again, taking a deep breath. I was so fucking tired these days. It was rare I was able to find any sort of position that brought me comfort.
I felt myself dozing off in the sunny afternoon, and soon, I was full on passed out. It was a heavy, dreamless sleep that I'd been in desperate need of, and it wasn't until a dull pain lanced through me, that I woke up.
I blinked against the bright light, unsure about what exactly had woken me. I sat up on the recliner, rubbing my eyes and yawning. The echo of the pain was thrumming through my lower back and I frowned. Had that been a contraction?
I got up off the recliner, bringing my laptop inside. Rose was at the piano, writing furiously in her notebook. She looked up at me as I came into the living room. "How's it going?" she asked.
I shook my head. "I think I just had a contraction," I said slowly. Rose looked surprised.
"Oh." She blinked a couple times then nodded. "Okay, what do you need?"
I shook my head. "I think I'm supposed to time them. I have to wait until they get closer together to go to the hospital."
Rose nodded. "Okay, when did it happen?"
I shrugged. "Five minutes ago?"
She nodded and flipped to a new page in her notebook, jotting it down. "Let me know when another one hits," she said softly. I nodded. Though it had been only one contraction, and I wasn't actually sure that it had been a contraction at all, I could feel myself growing anxious, the reality that within a few days I could be meeting Pip-holding them for the first time-was bearing down on me.
Holy fuck, I was going to be a parent.
I sat at the sofa, shaking my head. "Do you mind if I turn the TV on?" I asked Rose. She shook her head and stood up. "Do you want water or anything?"
I nodded and she slipped into the kitchen as I turned on the TV. I flipped channels, looking for something to distract me, when one of Edward's action movies came on. It was halfway through, and though the action didn't interest me that much, I loved watching him, so I left it on.
Rose came out with a bottle of water for me, and I took it gratefully. She settled on the sofa near me, grabbing a pair of knitting needles. We were just about finished with the baby blanket, waiting for Maria, Alice's friend, to sew it together. Though we'd finished the blanket, everyone had taken to knitting, and now, when we were sitting around the living room, that's usually what we sat down to do. Emmett had started making little baby caps for Pip, and the more advanced knitters in our friend group had joined him. I was still on squares, but Rose had been learning how to make caps and booties, so that's what she'd been working on here.
The TV was just noise and was doing little to distract me. My mind kept wandering to Pip, and I fluctuated between panic and relief that I was so close to the end of pregnancy.
About half an hour after the first contraction, another one came. It lasted about thirty seconds, and wasn't all together that painful, though it certainly wasn't comfortable. I knew I was still early stages, but it was a relief that my body seemed to be wanting to ease me into the pain, rather than put me straight into it.
Rose took note of the contraction and smiled at me. I let out a long breath and smiled back at her. I had a long way to go still.
Edward came home about ten minutes after my second contraction. He came immediately to the living room and I smiled up at him. "Hey babe, how was your meeting?"
Rose looked at me. I knew she wouldn't blurt out that I had started having contractions, thankfully, because I had a feeling Edward might overact, even though I was probably still hours from needing to go to the hospital.
"It was fine," he said shrugging. "Wales is on next year."
I grinned as he leaned down to kiss me before sitting on the sofa next to me.
"Awesome. It'll be great to spend some time in Wales," I said rubbing my stomach. He nodded in agreement. I knew he was excited about the project. It was going to be challenging for him as an actor, but he thrived on that.
He turned his attention to the TV and winced when he realized what we were watching. I snickered and kissed his chin. He knew I liked to watch his movies when he was gone. It made me feel like he was at least sort of around.
"How are things here?" he asked, glancing down at me. I shrugged.
"Fine," I said, keeping my eyes on the TV. I could see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye, but I didn't look at him, so he nodded and settled into the sofa next to me. He was quiet as we watched his movie, and I knew I should tell him about the contractions, but honestly, I was a little fucking scared to talk about them. I wasn't ready to talk about them.
Eventually, another one hit, and I winced, trying to count in my head how long it was lasting. It was about thirty five seconds this time. Edward shifted next to me, sitting up, his eyes wide. "What was that?" he asked.
I looked at him as the contraction pain dulled again. "What?"
Edward's eyes sharpened on me. "Are you in labor?" His voice cracked over the words and I shook my head.
"No. I've had three contractions, but they are still far apart." I told him. His eyes practically bugged out of his head and he scrambled to his feet.
"Fuck! Bella why didn't you tell me? Shit, we have to get our things together. Have you called Dr. Pierce?" he was yanking at his hair, looking like he was ready to run around in circles. I grunted and sat forward, tugging on his shirt to get his focus.
"Babe, calm down. My contractions are like half an hour apart. Remember this part can take hours." I'd actually read somewhere that this part could take days, and that knowledge had nearly put me into a full-blown panic attack.
Edward looked at me frantically and Rose pipped in. "She's right, Edward. You told me yourself that at this point she should stay home, and ride the contractions out. You're still a while off from having to go to the hospital."
Edward glared at her, but she was right. Edward had done so much fucking research, he knew more than any of us.
He ran a hand through his hair again, looking helpless.
"Babe, sit down. I promise, I'll let you know about all my future contractions. You can time them and record them if you like," I told him. He huffed, sitting back down next to me.
"Why didn't you tell me when I got home?" he demanded. I shrugged, guiltily.
"I didn't want you to panic," I said softly. And I wasn't fucking ready to face what the contractions meant.
I wasn't going to tell him that though.
Edward let out another strangled noise and leaned back against the sofa. I smiled at him, curling up against his chest. His arms moved around me automatically and he kissed the top of my head. He was panicking now, but we still had fucking hours to go.
…
"Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck!"
Edward stared at me helplessly as I paced around the hospital room. We'd stayed at home as long as possible, and I'd even managed to get another nap in, though it had been interrupted by the contractions. Rose had left us shortly after Edward had come home, making us promise to keep everyone updated. She promised to handle letting our friends know I'd started early labor, which was great, because though I knew they wanted to know, I didn't want to be the one to tell them.
Edward and I had stayed around the house, waiting for my contractions to get closer together. Finally, at ten, we'd headed upstairs to the guest bedroom at the top of the house. We hadn't wanted to risk me going all the way downstairs, only to have to come back up when labor really started to kick in.
The guest room was nice enough, but it wasn't our room and, though I hadn't been sleeping in our bed much, I got almost no sleep in that room.
Finally, around one in the morning, we'd given up on staying home and had driven to the hospital. The contractions had started getting way worse, and it was pissing me off, knowing this wasn't even as bad as it was going to get.
I'd been taken to a private room where I was left to wait out more contractions. I'd been instructed to walk around as much as possible, to help ease some of the discomfort.
It hadn't done jack shit for me.
"What can I…" Edward started. I glared at him.
"No. You can't do anything," I growled. He nodded, looking miserable. I know it distressed him to see me like this, but I couldn't fucking concentrate on him right now. My panic was rising with each contraction, and to be honest, half of my energy felt like it was going in to keeping Pip inside me.
I wasn't fucking ready to be a mother.
There was a knock on the door and I looked up to see Esme pop her head into the room. "Bella, darling, how are you doing?"
I tried not to grimace or snap at her. "Hanging in there," I grunted. Esme nodded sympathetically.
"From what I've gathered, it sounds like your labor has been relatively on track," she said softly. "I was in early labor with Edward for nearly fifteen hours," she said, shooting him a look. He winced and Esme smiled a little. I groaned and shook my head.
"Fuck that," I gasped as another contraction hit. I winced, apologetic about swearing in front of Esme, but she wove me off.
"You should have heard me when I was in labor," she chuckled. "I think the doctors and nurses learned a whole new string of curse words from me."
I laughed, despite myself, and Edward looked surprised. She turned to him and tilted her head.
"Darling, your father is trying to track us down some coffee. Will you help him bring it back?"
Edward stood, understanding Esme clearly. He looked at me, and I nodded for him to leave. He smiled a little and left the room. Esme turned back to me. "I love my son, more than anything else in life, but there are somethings I think he shouldn't be around for," she said gently. I frowned at her.
"What do you mean?"
Esme smiled and came around to rub my back as I leaned against the hospital bed. "I just want to check in with you. To see how you are truly doing."
I stared at her in surprise. How did she know?
My mouth went dry, and I shook my head, swallowing past the lump in my throat. "I'm fine," I croaked. Esme sighed and rubbed my back again.
"When I was in labor, I was having a complete and utter melt down," she said shaking her head. I stared at her in surprise. "I wasn't ready to be a parent, I didn't want to face that next chapter of my life. I liked things how they had been, and though I loved Edward already, a large part of me was wishing I hadn't gotten pregnant." She sighed. "I have never once regretted having my son. He is my whole world and having him saved my marriage. Carlisle is my best friend, but without Edward, we would have drifted too much into our own lives, our own careers," she paused. "When I was where you are now, I was petrified."
I nodded mutely. Petrified barely began to cover it. Esme smiled and rubbed my back again. It was gentle, and though Edward had tried to rub my back earlier, there was something about a mother's touch that soothed at a soul deep level.
"I'm fucking terrified," I muttered. "My mother was joke, and I'm a disaster of a human being. It's a fucking miracle I'm alive today because I've made some seriously questionable choices in life," I huffed, shaking my head. Esme continued to rub my back gently. "How am I supposed to guide someone else through life when I can barely take care of myself?"
Esme smiled a little. "Bella, sweetheart, there rarely is a person in this world that is ready to be a parent. Even if I'd had another child after Edward, I wouldn't have been ready for it." She frowned. "My mother was a homemaker her whole life. She never once held a formal job, she had minimal education and believed that her role in life was to be a domestic housewife. To this day, she is caretaking for those she can. It's all she knows, and it's what she taught my sister and me to know," she said gently. I frowned. "Despite the limitations of my mother, both my sister and I went on to have extraordinary lives. We've grown from the lessons she taught us, for better or worse, and we've made something more." She smiled a little and reached up to brush hair out of my face. "You, darling, are an extraordinary woman, and you have already grown so far beyond the limitations of your mother and the lessons she taught you."
My eyes stung with tears, and I swallowed thickly.
"I am putting so much pressure on myself to be better than Renée, to be enough for Pip," I whispered, my tears burning my eyes. Esme smiled and rubbed my back again.
"Give yourself grace, darling. You are so much more than you realize."
I paused as another contraction slammed into me, and I shut my eyes. Esme continued rubbing my back, and it actually helped anchor me through the pain.
When it passed, I took a deep breath and looked back up at Esme. She smiled at me, her green eyes full of love and tenderness. It seemed impossible that this formidable woman who had cut me to size when we'd first met could offer me such love now. My eyes burned with tears as I looked her over, and I reached out, taking her free hand in mine. She smiled and squeezed my fingers gently.
"Darling, we're all here for you."
I swallowed and nodded appreciatively. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve such extraordinary people in my life, but whatever it was, I was grateful for it. I couldn't imagine my life without their love and support.
…
"Alright, Bella. Are you ready to start pushing?"
Fucking hell. I'd been ready for hours it felt like. I nodded to Dr. Pierce who turned to her team. Edward squeezed my hand and I looked up at him. He'd come back into the room after my conversation with Esme, and I'd apologized for snapping at him. He'd been gracious about it, and had waved off my snapping at him easily.
Dr. Pierce instructed me to push, and I did as she instructed. The pain was fucking blinding, and the effort it took to push, even though I'd been feeling like I needed to push for a while now, was immense. Dr. Pierce had me relax, and I sucked in a deep breath.
"You're fucking incredible, baby," Edward whispered. I grunted.
"I know," I snapped. He grinned and kissed my sweaty forehead. I wanted to smile, but then it was time to push again.
It took almost forty minutes of pushing until Pip started crowning. "Fucking hell, Pip!" I screeched, when Dr. Pierce told me we'd need another couple of pushes to get Pip out. The nurses chuckled and even Dr. Pierce looked amused. Edward laughed and kissed my forehead again as I pushed another time.
I could feel Pip leave me, and my whole body deflated. Holy shit.
I laid back, my heart racing as I waited for someone to speak. Edward kissed my forehead and Dr. Pierce let out a soft breath as a little cry broke the silence of the room. Tears sprang to my eyes unexpectedly, and I looked up to see Edward staring down toward the nurses in awe. "Edward, did you want to cut the cord?"
Edward moved from my side to look down at Pip. He cut the umbilical cord with wide eyes, effectively severing Pip from me.
"Bella, Edward," Dr. Pierce said, gently, looking up at us with a smile as she set Pip into Edward's arms. "Say hello to your daughter."
Edward took Pip, his eyes massive as he gazed down at her. I couldn't see much of her, though I could see she had a massive puff of coppery hair. Her skin was waxy and pale and when Edward turned to me, the look on his face made the breath catch in my throat.
He brought Pip over to me, bringing her down to place her in my arms. My hands were shaking as I looked her over. She was wrinkly and crying and so fucking perfect my heart was thundering. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I looked over our Pip.
"Bella, you need to deliver the afterbirth," Dr. Pierce said softly. I looked past her and nodded as Edward took Pip. A nurse helped bring her over to get cleaned up and checked out as Dr. Pierce helped me through delivering the afterbirth. Thank fucking god that didn't hurt, and it was over in only a few minutes.
Edward came back with Pip, settling her back in my arms. She immediately began nestling against my chest and Dr. Pierce smiled.
"Go ahead and try nursing," she told me. I looked at her in surprise but nodded, reaching up to my gown and unsnapping it. I pulled Pip to me, and after a few minutes, she latched on to my breast, suckling quietly. My tears were out of control as I gazed down at her. She was so fucking small and so fucking perfect. Her skin was starting to fill out and soften and she looked just like Edward. I looked up at him and he smiled, leaning down to kiss me softly.
"Did you have a name picked out for her?" the nurse asked gently. Edward nodded. I could barely tear my gaze from her.
"Pippa Alexandria Cullen," Edward told the nurse. Tears burned my eyes at the sound of her name. My Pip was fucking real.
Dr. Pierce made a soft noise, and I looked up at her through my tears. She was smiling at us as she and another nurse helped clean me up. My whole body was in pain and exhausted, but I didn't fucking care. Every ounce of pain had been more than worth it.
"Thank you," I told her shakily. She smiled and pat my leg gently.
"Bella, you were tremendous. I'm glad to finally meet Pip," she said softly.
I looked back down at Pip and shook my head, mesmerized by her.
"I should go tell everyone," Edward said softly, leaning down to kiss my hair. I looked up at him and nodded.
"Yeah, okay."
Edward left the room and I took my time, looking back at Pip. "Hey baby," I whispered to her. Her eyes were still closed but she tilted her head a bit at the sound of my voice. "I promise I'm going to do better, be better. For you."
She wiggled a little against me, her hand failing up and lightly hitting against my breast as she continued to nurse. I grinned and reached up to hold her tiny hand. Her fingers were curled up still and I looked them over, in awe of how fucking small she was.
The door opened and I looked up to see Edward coming back in. He smiled at me as he came back to my side.
"Mom is about ready to knock the walls down to see Pip," he said softly. I smiled and nodded. The nurses cleaned up the room and then started to clear out. Dr. Pierce gave us the go ahead to bring family in the room, and soon after, Esme was bursting silently through the door.
"Oh, heavens above!" she swooned, fawning over Pip. She'd stopped nursing and I had tried gently burping her. She was nestled against my chest now, making tiny little sounds and breathing against me. I smiled at Esme.
"Would you like to hold your granddaughter?" I asked her. Esme burst into tears as she nodded. I picked Pip off me and she took her in her arms.
"Oh, Pippa," she sighed, cooing down at my daughter. Carlisle looked over Esme's shoulders, tears in his own eyes. He smiled at me, reaching out to rub my shoulder gently.
"Thank you, Bella," he said softly. I smiled at them both, enjoying watching them faun over their granddaughter.
The door opened, and I looked up in surprise. Edward and I had agreed that our friends would have to wait until family had come in and left again.
My breath caught in my throat when I saw dad and Sue walk in. "Dad!" I said, sitting up a little bit. He smiled as he came over to my side.
"Hey kiddo," he said gently, reaching out to pull me into a soft hug. I pulled my arms around him tiredly. He smelled like he always did, and the scent soothed me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my eyes blurry with tears. He smiled as he pulled back from me.
"Edward called when you came to the hospital last night."
I looked up at Edward who was smiling softly. I looked back at dad, tears burning my eyes.
"Thank you for coming down on such short notice," I said, my voice cracking over my tears. Dad smiled and squeezed my arm a little awkwardly.
"We've had it in the works for some time, Bells. We were just waiting for the go-ahead."
I looked at Edward, my heart feeling like it was tripling in size with the love I felt for him. "Thank you," I whispered to him. He smiled and sat next to me on the bed, pulling an arm around me and kissing my temple.
Dad turned to Carlisle who was holding Pip. "So this is her?" Dad asked, his voice sounding thick. I smiled.
"Pippa Alexandria," I told him. Dad looked at me and smirked.
"Pip," he said nodding. I grinned.
"Pip."
Carlisle turned to dad and offered over Pip. Dad took her into his arms gently, looking so much more tender than I was used to seeing him. He smiled down at her, his whole face lighting up.
"She looks like you did, Bells," he said softly. I shook my head.
"She looks just like Edward," I protested. Dad shook his head.
"No, Bells. She might have his coloring, but she is all you."
I smiled a little and Edward chuckled, kissing my temple again. "Thank god for that," he whispered. I rolled my eyes at him, smiling a little. We turned back to dad as Sue came over and gave us both hugs. She took a turn holding Pip, beaming down at her new granddaughter. No matter what, Sue would be grandma to Pip, just as she'd become mother to me.
Our parents hung around a little longer before settling Pip into the bassinet that had been brought in for her. They left and our friends came in. Tanya was weeping, much to my surprise, as she held Pip.
"Hey baby," she said through her tears. "You and me, we're going to get into so much mischief," she whispered. I smiled at my best friend and shook my head.
"Did Edward tell you her middle name?" I asked. Tanya looked up at me and shook her head. "Alexandria."
Tanya's eyes widened, and more tears fell down her cheeks. "Really?" she croaked. I nodded. Tanya looked down at Pip, her smile radiant. "Here that Pip? We have the same middle name. That means lots of mischief for us," she said gently. I laughed.
"Let's wait until she's at least talking to teach her how to get into trouble," I said gently. Tanya winked at me.
"Count on it, B."
The rest of our friends came in to see her, each in awe over how fucking beautiful she was. Everyone says their baby is the most beautiful thing in the world, but Pip actually looked like she could be. She was perfect, and looked like a living doll.
Though it wasn't like she could be anything less with Edward's genes.
Finally, everyone left, leaving Edward, Pip and I alone. Edward had brought her over to rest in my arms as he curled up on the bed with us.
"Look what we fucking made," I whispered. Edward smiled and leaned his head against mine.
"That night we met will always be one of the best nights of my life," he whispered, his hand coming up to gently stroke Pip's soft head. I smiled at him.
"I know, I'm a great lay."
Edward laughed and kissed my shoulder. "Yeah, you are," he said softly. I smiled and leaned my head against his.
"It'll always be one of my favorites as well," I told him. He smiled and looked back down at our daughter. She was every fucking thing that was good and pure in this world, and I would spend the rest of my life doing everything I could for her.
She was everything.
...
AN: So honestly, I've never given birth before, and I know it varies from person to person how it goes and the level of pain experienced, etc. i did a ton of research to try to make this as accurate as possible (drawing upon my own experiences watching the birth of my sister when I was 14). I hope I did the birth justice!
Finishing this story has been so emotional for me, and I'm so grateful to everyone who has taken this journey with me!
Epilogue and a look ahead up next!
