Running from problems was not something that Rose Weasley considered to be a habit of hers. She liked to think she stood her ground, persevered, and fought for things that mattered. Yet, somehow, over the last few weeks, it felt like running was the only thing she did.
At the present moment, it was either that or start crying at her parents' dining room table. Or yelling. Likely a mix of the two.
She stepped out onto the front porch and took a deep, shaky breath, holding back a sob. Leaning against the railing that ran around the porch, she tried to stop the tears from falling, her hands tightly gripping the paint chipped wood.
Rose couldn't even give a coherent reason as to why she felt like crying, she just did. It was as if everything that had happened that day and even the past month had been building up until now, threatening to overwhelm her and cause her to break.
It wasn't fair. Not to any of them. Scorpius shouldn't have to deal with the gossip and the scrutiny. She shouldn't have to be worried for her family's safety just because she wanted to get married. Her family shouldn't be in danger at all. Hadn't they faced enough already?
Rose had assumed she would never have to face the types of things her parents had at her age, so she'd never thought to prepare herself in case she did. In some ways, she'd grappled with the reality that she could lose someone she loved, especially since she had family members that were Aurors and planned to marry another. She'd even been afraid she'd lose her dad at the young age of five. But those were all risks that, in some sense, were being taken willingly. This wasn't.
As she heard the front door opening behind her, Rose sniffed and wiped at her eyes, though they'd remained dry. She wasn't sure who she hoped was joining her on the porch. Continuing to talk about all this sounded a bit too overwhelming, no matter who else was part of the conversation.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the weight of whoever was slowly approaching making the porch creak enough to rule out her mother. As Rose shivered from the cold, the familiar sound of her father's sigh reached her ears as he sat on the swing behind her. Her breath caught in her throat, the desire to crumble into tears stronger than ever.
"Rosie?"
Before she could fully contemplate her actions, Rose was somehow curled up on the bench beside her father, her knees pulled up to her chest as she leaned against him. The feel of his arm around her and his familiar scent enveloping her brought an immediate sense of comfort, soothing her frazzled soul. Rose's hand gripped the front of his maroon jumper as he rubbed soothingly up and down her arm. For a while, he simply held her, not saying a word as he rested his cheek resting against the top of her head, gently swinging them back and forth.
Until that moment, Rose hadn't realized just how much she'd missed her dad.
"You're a lot like your mum, you know."
Rose sat up a bit so she could give him a questioning look, having expected their conversation to go a different route. Ron shrugged and continued to rub her upper arm in comfort.
"You're both stubborn, but have strong convictions and beliefs to back that up," he said. "You're brilliant and hardworking. And you tend to love people in a surprisingly fierce way."
Rose sniffed and shivered against a cool breeze, wishing she'd thought to put on a jacket. "Is that a good thing?"
"Of course it is, Rosie," said her dad, pulling her close again and resting his chin on the top of her head. "I know I haven't been easy on you with this whole thing, but I've been proud of the fight I've seen in you, even if it was mostly me you were fighting against."
He grumbled a bit at the last statement, and Rose couldn't help a slight smile as she settled back against his chest. "I'm sure I get some of that from you too," she said. "You said yourself that all you've been trying to do is keep us all safe. I'd guess that means you love all of us quite a lot."
Rose felt him grin against the top of her head and squeeze her tighter momentarily, but the next words out of his mouth had a somber tone. "I really didn't want you to ever have to deal with making choices like this. I wanted you and your brother to grow up not having to worry about doing anything that could put yourself or our family in danger."
The heavy weight that had been lifted a bit when her father had pulled her into his arms began to return. Rose closed her eyes and let out a shaky sigh. She sat up so she could look at her dad, his blue eyes sorrowful as he pulled his arm back from around her and rested his elbows on his knees. Dropping his head into his hands, he ran his fingers through his ginger hair, his frustration at the situation evident in the tension of his shoulders.
"I'm not growing up anymore," Rose said softly. Ron let out a deep breath and gave a slight shake of his head, like he could hardly believe that was true. His daughter wound her arm around his lower back and rested her chin on his shoulder blade. "Dad, you know you can't protect me from everything."
His body shook lightly with a despondent chuckle. "I know," he allowed. "I know that, but I can bloody well try."
The conviction in his voice had Rose's eyes welling with tears. She dropped a kiss on the top of his shoulder, squeezing him tightly around the waist before resting her cheek against him. "And we don't even know if there's really any danger, right?" she said. "We could be worrying about nothing."
She felt him shrug beneath her. "Maybe," said Ron, "but I don't really fancy taking that risk."
Rose let out a sigh and sat back against the swing, pushing her feet on the porch so they swayed back and forth. "We're really going to have to wait, aren't we?"
Her father looked over his shoulder at her, an apologetic smile on his face. "We can't force you to."
"No," said Rose, releasing a deep breath and crossing her arms as she stared out at the hills surrounding her parents' home. "But you heard what Scorpius said. If he's willing to wait, I should be too. It'd be a bit selfish of me not to at this point, wouldn't it?"
Ron reached out and gave her knee a bracing grip. "That's between you and him, I think."
Rose nodded, her mind whirring and unable to settle on a solid thought with her emotions a bit of a jumbled mess. She and Scorpius hadn't decided how long they'd wait, and before everything had gotten complicated, they truly could've made the independent decision to do so for a few years before getting married. But being told they had to wait, having the decision taken away from them, and unable to have the freedom to choose what they wanted made Rose all the more impatient for Scorpius Malfoy to be her husband.
"He's all right, you know," her dad said, and Rose snapped her eyes to him in surprise. He shrugged before directing his gaze out across the yard. "It would've been nice if he'd given us a bit of warning before proposing, but I suppose that's a bit old fashioned of me. Either way, he still seems like a decent bloke."
A grin slowly spread across Rose's face as she watched her father's profile. "Thanks. I know that wasn't easy for you to admit."
He grunted and scratched his stubbly jaw. "You plan on taking his name?"
"Oh," said Rose, trying her best not to sound flustered by the question. "I mean… we haven't talked about it, but I… I imagine I would, yes. I get why Mum hyphenated hers, but I don't really feel the need. And there are quite a few Weasleys to be getting on with."
She smiled at her father, but her answer seemed to bother him. Rose felt her smile slipping, an unsettled feeling growing in her stomach. "Why?"
He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he kept his gaze directed in front of him. "I know he's not his father, but with everything that happened during the war…"
Ron's eyes were sincere as he looked back at her, and Rose knew that whatever he was about to say was something he truly wanted her to understand. "You can see why knowing you'll carry the same family name as the place where I almost lost your mother would be hard for me, right?"
It felt like a rock had fallen into Rose's gut. Her throat constricted and her eyes welled up with tears, her emotions unnamable and far more intense than she would've predicted at such a simple question. But she honestly hadn't thought about it in such concrete terms.
"Yeah," she finally choked out. "Yeah, I… I can see why that would be hard."
Her father gave her an apologetic grimace, but she didn't expect nor want him to say he was sorry in any way. He had no reason to be. Instead, he sat back up and put his arm around her once again, pulling her close and dropping a kiss on the top of her head. Rose's unease lessened at the action, but she couldn't help replaying her father's words in her head, nervous at their implications.
They'd been sitting in silence for less than a minute when the door opened and Scorpius stuck his head out.
"Sorry," he said, looking a bit distressed, "but you should get in here."
Sharing a look of concern with her father, Rose stood, following her fiancé back into the house with her dad on her heels.
The surprising sight of a thoroughly distraught Dominique Weasley pacing in front of the fireplace had Rose stopping in her tracks. Hermione was standing nearby, watching her niece in concern. Lysander was there as well, sitting on the sofa, his eyes following Dominique closely.
"What's happened?" asked Rose, causing all eyes to jump to her and Dom to stop pacing. "Is it Vic? Are she and the baby-?"
"They're fine," said Dom, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. "I just… Rose, I'm so sorry."
She burst into tears, sinking onto the sofa next to Lysander and burying her face in her hands. Shocked and confused, Rose looked to the other occupants of the room for clarification.
"I think it's about the article," said Scorpius. A feeling of dread overcame Rose as she turned back to look at her cousin. There was no way.
"Dom?" said Rose, a nervous uncertainty in her voice. Dom shook her head and kept her face in her hands.
"It's not her fault," said Lysander, his tone soft as he placed a hand on Dom's back. She just shook her head more vigorously.
"There would've been no story at all if I'd just kept my bloody mouth shut," she said, her voice muffled and her face still hidden from view. Lysander sighed, looking at the expectant faces around them.
"She thinks someone overheard us talking yesterday," he explained. "I came by the pub for lunch and we were talking about my brother's wedding, and one thing led to another and…"
He paused, looking fairly uncomfortable. Any normal person would be in this situation, but Rose knew Lysander well enough to realize just how out of his element he was. Putting aside the frustration and even anger she was tempted to feel at the potential act of betrayal her cousin had committed, Rose joined her on the sofa.
"Dom, just tell me what happened," she said, her tone soft yet firm. Her cousin sat there for a few moments, taking some calming breaths before sitting up and wiping at her eyes.
"I didn't say the things in that article," she said, still avoiding Rose's gaze. "Not exactly. But I did… I did say that your parents weren't pleased and that I thought it shouldn't matter and you were allowed to make your own choices."
She sniffed and wiped at her eyes again, sending apologetic looks to her aunt and uncle. "I never said your names, though," said Dom, finally meeting Rose's eyes. "Neither did Ly. But we were talking about family and weddings and… I thought we were being discreet, but someone must've been listening close enough to draw the right conclusions. I know you'd never disown Rose," she said with slightly panicked looks towards her aunt and uncle. "I know this whole thing probably caused a lot of problems and I'm just so, so sorry."
Tears were streaming down her face again, and though Rose was frustrated and disappointed by what had happened, she couldn't bring herself to take her anger out on Dom. Especially seeing how much she was beating herself up over it.
"It's okay," said Rose, and Dom's eyes snapped to her in hopeful surprise. "Word would've gotten out eventually no matter what, and the press was bound to have a field day with it."
A sigh of relief escaped Dom, but there was still remorse in her eyes. "I'm still so sorry. I understand if you don't trust me right now, but if there's anything I can do to make up for it…"
Rose smiled reassuringly at her, reaching out and gripping her hand. "Don't worry. I know I can count on you."
Tears welled up in Dom's eyes once again, and Rose was quick to pull her into a hug, fighting tears of her own.
It was suddenly too much. It was all just way too much. She felt like a dam about to break any moment, everything she'd been smothering down deep inside threatening to overflow without her consent.
Excitement at the prospect of marrying her best friend.
Delight when Scorpius' mother welcomed her with open arms.
Confusion as her uncle told her they couldn't get married.
Anger that her parents weren't supportive.
Hurt that her father couldn't even be happy for her.
Outrage over having her personal life smeared across the front page.
Worry at the prospect of her family being threatened.
Shock over the idea that someone could use her as a means to harm people she loved.
Fear that everything she wanted might not be hers to have.
It felt like she was experiencing all of it at once.
"It's getting late," said Rose, pulling back and avoiding Dom's gaze a moment later. She could feel her heart beating heavily, her stomach clenching, her mind in a fog. An overwhelming need to be anywhere but there overcame her, and her eyes sought Scorpius.
Thankfully, it only took a moment for him to see what she needed, his own expression troubled and hard as he thanked her parents for having them and promising that they would see each other again before too long and asking that they be kept in the loop. He couldn't say much more in front of Dom and Lysander, but Rose knew her parents would be fully aware that he was referring to everything they'd learned that night.
Dom made a few more flustered apologies before she and Lysander Flooed away, closely followed by an increasingly distressed Rose and a thankfully collected Scorpius.
She thought she gave her parents hugs before leaving, but she wasn't quite sure. It was like her brain was failing to do anything more than was necessary to get herself home.
The flat was graciously empty when they arrived, Al and Erin likely still out at the pub. Rose barely registered Scorpius leading her back to her bedroom and guiding her to sit on the bed. He left her side for a moment, and the sound of the bath running reached her ears as he came back. Finally, she was able to close her eyes, take a few deep breaths, and focus on the presence of her concerned fiancé, who was now kneeling on the floor in front of her.
And then the dam began to break.
A moment later she was hurtling towards the bathroom, falling to her knees in front of the toilet and emptying the contents of her stomach. She heard Scorpius follow and call her name in concern, but she was sick again before she could answer. And then he was holding back her hair, gripping it with one hand and resting the other against the back of her neck.
The vivid memory of witnessing her mother having a panic attack when she was younger flashed into Rose's mind. The following day, her mother had sat her down to explain what had happened, though she didn't quite say why. That was something Rose had learned much later. What her mother did explain, however, was how she'd learned to cope.
Rose wasn't sure if she was having a panic attack now, but the tricks her mother had told her sounded like the only thing that might help. As her stomach threatened to revolt once again, Rose attempted to focus on the things she could feel.
The hard tile under her knees. Scorpius's hand in her hair and the other against her neck, cool and comforting. Her hands gripping the side of the toilet.
She could hear her labored breathing, her heart beating heavily, the sound of Scorpius breathing too, the bathtub filling with water.
She didn't want to think too much about what she could smell at the moment, but did note the scent of lavender, which meant Scorpius had added soap to the bath. Slowly, she sat back on her heels and opened her eyes, taking in the towel hanging above the toilet, the white tiled portion of the wall that changed to a soft blue paint halfway up. And then she turned her head to look at Scorpius, his pale blue eyes boring into hers. He'd dropped her hair but kept his other hand on the back of her neck, his thumb brushing against the bottom of her ear as he looked at her in concern.
"Sorry," she said, her voice a bit rough. Scorpius shook his head dismissively.
"As long as you're okay," he said, his eyes searching hers questioningly. Reassured after she nodded, he removed his hand from her neck and stood, grabbing a flannel that was hanging by the sink and running it under cool water. He sat back down beside her and Rose adjusted her position, relieving the ache that had been growing in her knees as she sat fully on the floor and faced him.
"Are you sick?" he asked, brushing her hair out of her face and resting the wet cloth against her neck.
"No," said Rose with a sigh, closing her eyes at the cooling relief. Scorpius gently cupped her face, his thumb stroking her flushed cheekbone as his other hand continued to hold the cool towel against her skin.
"Do you want to lie down?" he asked. Rose nodded, her arms going around his neck on instinct as he deftly scooped her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. By the time they reached the bed, she was nearly sobbing into his chest.
Scorpius sat on the bed with Rose still in his arms, holding her close and whispering nonsensical words of comfort against the top of her head. It was all she needed, a moment of comfort and understanding to just let herself feel the load of fear and uncertainty and confusion and anger that had been building and building for over a month. And there was no one better to share this moment of uninhibited vulnerability with than the person who'd walked with her through all of it.
In that moment, he was the only thing that felt real and certain. The only thing she could count on. And even though she would rather they had the freedom to make their own choices, knowing that he was willing to wait for her as long as he needed to brought Rose comfort. He didn't want to wait out of fear. He wanted to wait because he wanted what was best for her, and she couldn't blame him for wanting to protect her.
As she continued to cry, Rose found herself acknowledging that the night hadn't been all bad. In fact, the combination of distressing emotions and uplifting ones had likely contributed to the state she was in now. Not only had she been able to have an actual productive conversation with her father, but she knew he now saw a bit more in Scorpius than he had before. Her father had never disliked or disapproved of Scorpius, but she'd been able to pick up on the hints that Scropius had recently earned a bit more respect from his future father-in-law.
The mess about the prophecy and the article and all the people caught up in both was something she would save to think about some other time.
It was a few minutes later that Rose heard the sound of someone calling her name. Scorpius kissed the top of her head and held her tighter for a moment before beginning to move her onto the bed.
"I'll be right back," he said, kissing her head once more as he laid it on her pillow. He paused to pull a blanket over her before going into the bathroom and shutting off the tub. She heard him exit through the door that led from the bathroom into the hall, and then recognized the voices making up the soft conversation that followed. Erin was back, and it sounded like Al was with her.
Rose closed her eyes, tempted to let sleep take her, but she'd grown chilly and achy. The bath now sounded like the best place to be. And that was where Scorpius found her five minutes later.
"Feeling better?" he asked, closing the bathroom door and coming to sit on the floor beside her. Rose sighed and rested her head against the back of the tub, her fingers poking at the foamy bubbles.
"Calmer," she said. "I think I just got a bit overwhelmed. Sorry for completely falling apart on you. Literally."
"Don't apologize," said Scorpius, reaching up and brushing a loose curl behind her ear. She'd pulled most of her hair up before getting in the bath, but it wasn't often she managed to get all of it. "You can do whatever you want on me. Anytime."
Rose gave him a soft and grateful smile, reaching her soapy hand out to grab one of his. "Al and Erin still here?"
Scorpius shook his head. "They're staying in our dorm. I gave them a brief overview of the night's events. Hope you don't mind."
Rose shook her head. "I'll probably need a good girls night after all this. Erin's going to know everything soon enough anyway."
Scorpius kissed her knuckles before looking at her with a furrowed brow. "Do you want to talk about any of it?"
For a moment, Rose considered it. But the only thing she found she really wanted to do was give the reporter who'd escalated the mess they were in a piece of her mind. But that couldn't happen quite yet.
"I just want to spend the evening with you," she said, reaching up to cup his face with her hand, stroking his cheek with her thumb and hoping to relieve the crease in his brow. "We're going to have to deal with all of it sooner than later, but not right now."
Scorpius gave her a tender smile, turning to kiss her palm. "Mind if I join you, then?"
Rose's brow rose in surprise. "You think we can both fit?"
With a mischievous smile, Scorpius leaned forward and placed a light kiss on her lips. "I think we can have anything if we work hard enough for it."
A genuine smile stretched across Rose's face for the first time that night. She kissed him quickly once again before nodding, excitement and contentment and joy such welcome emotions after the turmoil of the day.
The rest could wait. Tomorrow, she'd look into this reporter who thought she had free reign to say whatever the hell she wanted about Rose's family. Until then, she'd find peace and comfort in the presence of her fiancé.
The rest could wait.
A/N: Guess what? I actually have the next chapter written! I've also got a chapter of Patience is a Virtue as well and considered posting that first, but it's been longer since I updated this story. I hope you enjoy! Always a pleasure to hear from you so please review! I've also got a couple Romione one shots that I've written while blocked on this story (which I think I've finally overcome) so those might pop up soon too!
