He looms above her helpless body, colorless eyes burning into hers with hatred, lips drawn back in a snarl-

"Um, Becky-"

-poised to strike, knife dripping with red, glistening blood in his hand- with her blood-

"Becky?"

-a nasty, leering grin as he plunges the blade into her and twists-

"Becky!"

She startles, half turning to find Daniel looking at her in concern. "Um, sorry?"

"Are you okay? I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes. These are getting cold," indicating with a nod the two glazed pottery mugs in his hands, a welcome gift from Teyla. The distinct robust, slightly spicy aroma of Athosian Morning Blend wafts to her nostrils.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks." She accepts her mug, carrying it through the living area and out the sliding door to the balcony which opens at her merest thought. Daniel follows her, joining her on the bench.

This new apartment's bigger than their previous suite, with a larger than average living room, cozy mini kitchen and extra den along with a bedroom featuring the same massive and really comfy bed from before- which must've taken an entire squad of marines to move- and a luxurious bathroom. For all their faults the Ancients knew how to live in comfort.

Thoughtful of John and 'Lantis to set this aside as their residence whenever they visit the city. The rest have also been assigned similar apartments in the same building.

They sip their tea, admiring the perfect view of the water. As neither can function in any real sense without that initial hit of caffeine they've created this morning ritual for themselves over the years when they have time to indulge, easing into things before the day's work begins.

Becky takes a deep breath, trying to banish the lingering vision of Norris from her mind. The air is sharp with salt and a light breeze stirs her hair.

Daniel drains his mug, setting it beside him. "Worried about your session with Heightmeyer tomorrow?"

She wants to deny it, keep her irrational fears to herself without burdening anyone. But she can't conceal the truth from him, not after all he's already done to support her. She settles for a half shrug. "More like afraid, I guess."

"Why? It's only talking, not like a formal evaluation to see if you're fit for duty or anything."

"I know, it's just..." She sighs, digging the toe of her shoe into the balcony floor. "Maybe I'm afraid of giving too much away, that everyone will think I've gone nuts."

"That'll never happen. Talking is the first step to healing. You're braver than you know."

"If you say so," she mutters, looking out over the ocean.

He turns her face back, tenderly cupping her cheek. "I know so. If it makes you feel better I could sit in with you. We're not working in the lab until the next day, after all."

She considers. "It's tempting, but I have to do this by myself. Now don't pout- I'm sure you can find something around here to occupy your time for an hour or so," she adds coyly, batting her eyelashes at him.

"But not as much fun." He does anyway, that lush lower lip sticking out just enough to be enticing, eyes crinkling adorably in the corners. She can't resist a gentle, light kiss on the lips.

It's nice to be resuming their usual playful romantic banter. She's getting back to normal, slowly but surely.

Even so they have yet to make love. Fortunately Daniel hasn't pushed her for it the entire time. Another reason why she loves him, he can be patient without making her feel guilty.

The wind begins whipping around the balcony and she shivers. "Brrr, it's cold. Open up and let's snuggle for a bit."

"As my lady commands," he says with a grin, unzipping his leather jacket and enfolding her inside. His chin rests lightly against the top of her head as she slips her arms around him. Both utter a soft, contented sigh.

Another welcome part of their morning ritual.

Becky rubs her cheek against his shirt, reveling in the feel of his arms around her and the warmth of his body easing tight muscles, absorbing with it all the love and strength he has to offer. She honestly doesn't know how she'd get through the day if they weren't together.

Not long ago she'd been filled with pain and fever and rage, eager to take a life in retaliation for suffering at the hands of her captors. Now a darkness as deep as the void of interstellar space has replaced it, and she can't find her way out.

Though the nightmares haven't shown up of late sleep's near impossible as it is. Every night she lies awake for hours beside her beloved, an endlessly repeating cycle of worries swirling around in her head.

Such as what it'll take to banish the bad dreams from her mind for good.

Or when visions of Norris or panic attacks will no longer disrupt her daily activities.

Or when she can enjoy making love with her raven again, losing herself in passion without the fear of becoming lost within the darkness instead.

Or what lengths she'll have to go to get her sanity back.

Or if she ever will.


Atlantis is loud, Mac decides.

If Huy-Braesealis could be compared to a chamber orchestra, this place is a full symphony in action. And then some.

Unlike Becky- and Jack, to some degree- he avoids contact with Ancient tech back on New Earth as much as possible. It's downright freaky to have inanimate objects respond to his merest touch and thought.

But here- everything seemed to be clamoring for attention soon as he stepped through the Gate. If the wormhole hadn't winked out after he'd gotten a few steps into the impressively vast Gateroom he might've been tempted to turn right back around.

Weird enough to realize he's in another galaxy altogether, three million light years from home. And in a city ten thousand years old to boot, its hustle and bustle rivaling any he visited back on Old Earth during his globetrotting days.

It's been almost a year and a half since recontact had been made with New Earth and, like Gateway, Atlantis is growing by leaps and bounds. With their power needs met, the city's AI fulfilling its maintenance duties and any threats being kept at bay with drone weapons and their version of the Astria there's something of a population boom going on.

Colony members of all divisions have been hooking up and raising families either in the usual fashion, through Ancient artificial incubators or adopting kids made orphans from culling. It lifts the spirits of all adults (even McKay cracks a smile when he thinks no one's looking) to see children run and play through the public areas of the city, their laughter echoing through the corridors.

In addition the Lantean Council's officially begun admitting refugees, often the last remaining survivors of populations nearly decimated by the Wraith. First they're sent to one of the beta sites for processing and a thorough screening for tracking devices before being allowed in the city. Afterwards they have the option to either relocate to the mainland communities set up alongside the Athosians, or remain to take lessons and either become apprentice scientists, join the Lantean Guard or fill out the ranks of support staff.

Today it's just him and Jack for the official tour, conducted by Elizabeth and Teyla. McKay and Zelenka co-opted Sam not long after they arrived, then Becky and Daniel split themselves upon spotting the Lornes and almost-two-year-old Nora. Janet's off chatting with Beckett about his Healers' Network and Teal'c was last seen in the sparring chamber, amazing a group of Lantean Guard trainees with his demonstration of staff fighting.

They meander through a marketplace set up on the southwest pier, a huge outdoor area filled with rows of stalls flanked by low buildings for storage and convenient transporters set up at intervals. Colony members and Pegasus natives alike stroll up and down the aisles, laughing, talking, and making deals amid a galaxy-wide array of merchandise: bags of grain, barrels of fruit and vegetables, preserved meats, stacks of Athosian weaving, sacks of pure Lantean salt, hand thrown pottery, bolts of fabric and articles of finished clothing and adornments. Not to mention odd bits of technology that flash or move or make noise whenever he or Jack pass by.

"Pretty happening place," Jack dryly observes as they pause in an impromptu food court for a snack of marinated meat on skewers and lavender-colored pastry bites, washed down with a fizzy juice that tastes like lingonberries. "Kinda like bazaars in the Middle East."

"I'm reminded more of farmers' markets and art fairs in California, myself," Mac agrees. "Or even what we have back in Gateway."

Teyla flashes them a brilliant smile. "After General Hammond showed us your forum marketplaces I was so inspired that I proposed our own version to the Lantean Council. According to Elizabeth Atlantis was once a thriving galactic center of research, commerce and culture under the Ancestors. I believe we are ready to be so again."

"Only because we have a surplus of ZPMs to power our shields and weapons," Elizabeth admits with a wry smile of her own. "Having enough to spare has, ironically, given us the moral courage to throw off our cloak of secrecy and engage in normal relations with the rest of the galaxy."

Jack rubs his chin thoughtfully. "You guys sure don't lack for gumption, do ya. Just watch out for those pesky Wraith and Genii."

"Let them come," Teyla stoutly declares. "After ten thousand years under siege it is time for a- what did you call it?" Turning questioningly to Elizabeth.

"Renaissance, which means rebirth." Her smile is proud, like a teacher for a particularly astute pupil.

"Exactly so. It is time for a Pegasus Renaissance. With the help of Atlantis our galaxy finally has a chance to prosper, not merely survive."

Her optimism's infectious enough for Mac to believe they might just succeed.


A silvery, blue-green presence meets with her pale gold, amber and russet sibling within the unfathomable depths of quantum computational spacetime:

~It is good to feel your presence again, brother.~

~Likewise, sister. For a time I feared my previous visit here had been my last.~

~I am aware. I heard through my Dominus that your Domina had been in grave danger. I am pleased to see you both alive and well.~

~As am I. She is an excellent and diligent liaison, I am confident we will have a long and fruitful partnership together.~

~Yet you are also troubled.~

~...I am. Thankfully our Asgard allies of old provided medical aid to restore her body. Unfortunately she has been having nightmares and visions as a result of her ordeal, which is endangering her health. I wish I could shield them from her but as you know our programming forbids direct mental interference.~

~She has the support of her friends and family, does she not?~

~Yes, but even so I fear that will not be enough to restore her equilibrium. To my sorrow there is nothing in my city inventory that can be used to assist her.~

~There may yet be something in mine. I will search and bring the relevant entry to the Chief Engineer's attention in my fashion.~

~That is good. I regret I could not do more for my Domina while she was in captivity, save for augmenting her will to live until she had been rescued.~

~And that in the end is all we can do for our Domini. As you said, our programming forbids us to interfere.~

~I confess to be rather fond of her. She is unlike any previous Domini who have used my interface before. To be sure these Prognati are unpredictable to begin with, but it makes these latter years all the more exciting.~

~Yes, quite refreshing. I am fond of my Dominus as well. Have faith, there may yet be a way to help your Domina.~

~I shall. You have my thanks. Let us talk about this more when our Domini are asleep at the same time. They have such irregular schedules in that regard.~

~They do indeed. Until then, brother.~

~Until then, sister.~


Kate Heightmeyer's surprisingly warm and attentive for a psychologist. Reminds Becky of her own mom, though her focus was more research-oriented than clinical.

"I've heard you prefer to start at the point," she says, "so I'll ask the most important question first. Which scares you more- that your body was injured by Norris and left to die, or that there's something inside willing to kill him once he was at your mercy?"

Becky winces. Right to the point indeed. "The latter, I guess."

"Because you consider yourself a pacifist?"

She nods, bleakly. "The idea of killing a fellow human being turns my stomach, especially when there are so few of us left."

"So few of us left from Old Earth, you mean. Personally I find it a comfort to know we're not alone in the universe, that human life prevails in both galaxies, perhaps even on worlds we've yet to explore by Gate. You and Dr. Jackson are fascinated by the diaspora phenomenon yourselves, isn't that so?"

"True enough, I guess. People seem to be at their best by making the most of what they have around them, coming up with different strategies to survive despite the odds."

Heightmeyer nods. "Here in Pegasus they've learned that lesson well. Their lives can be hard but also good, and rich, and precious. As we've come to realize ourselves since Zero Hour. You could say humanity in general is pretty resilient when it gets its act together."

Becky stands up and goes to the window. Several stories below two kids run laughing down the promenade, bouncing a vivid orange ball between them. Their parents leisurely stroll behind them, without a care in the world. Off in the distance a fleet of fishing boats sail by, white sails on blue water.

Ordinary sights in an extraordinary location.

"What I almost did to Norris," she says pensively after a while, "I don't like what it says about me. That I'm capable of doing harm to others."

"There's always the possibility you'll have to on missions. None of us live under the illusion it's a friendly universe out there."

"Sure, but killing for revenge..." Becky shudders. "No. That's not me."

"And yet you wanted to."

"...Yeah. Which scares me the most. Felt like I wasn't really in control of myself anymore."

"You've heard of acute stress response, also known as fight or flight?" Becky nods. "It's quite natural. The will to survive is one of the strongest instincts we have as a species."

"Doesn't change the fact I'm conflicted about it. The very notion makes me sick."

"Which is perfectly understandable. Ever since Zero Hour we're all more aware of the sanctity of life, but you more than most because of your empathetic nature."

"Which is why I suggested exile for Norris in the first place. And look where that got me." She purses her lips, considering. "Okay. I get what you're saying. But mere understanding's not helping me sleep at night."

"You had nightmares after you became Witness to the end of Old Earth as well. We could've talked about it when I was at Alpha Base, but you declined." She holds up a hand. "I'm not criticizing. Thor had induced some kind of mind block that prevented you from speaking until the time was right."

"Something like that. At least the nightmares stopped after I spoke at the Memorial."

"Which is also when you became involved with Dr. Jackson."

A fond smile. "That probably had a lot to do with it as well. He's a good distraction."

Kate consults the tablet in her hand. "And you had nightmares before that, having been kidnapped when you were eighteen."

Figures the SGC had a dossier on Mac even before the Big Quake. Which probably included a section on herself, by extension. No sense in denying it. "Yeah, used as bait by a nemesis of Mac's."

"Another situation in which you had no control."

"Except at the end, sort of. I foolishly thought I could stop Murdoc from shooting Mac by getting between them. To be fair he did hesitate, if only for a moment."

"Courageous of you."

A one-sided shrug. "More like desperate. I really didn't want to lose my uncle, especially right after he braved a maze of deadly traps to find me. So yeah, I got nightmares and a few scars out of it, and they faded in due course. But this-" she shakes her head. "This is worse. Much worse. Like it's taken over everything."

"And that's why I'm here. There are some techniques we can try." She checks her watch. "We're out of time. Thanks for coming in, Becky. We'll talk more later."

Of course the nightmares return in full force that night. Daniel doesn't complain about holding her in bed the entire time, but still.

She can't live like this for the rest of her life. Something has to be done about it, and soon.

But what?


A routine develops, sort of.

Morning work in the lab, listening to Daniel and Rodney bicker. Afternoon sessions with Kate, which paradoxically stir up more bad dreams every night instead of less.

Becky does her best to follow her advice, distracting herself with side activities and sessions in fighting and meditation with Teyla and Teal'c. Nothing works.

She feels so helpless in the face of it all. A lot of caffeine is required during the day to keep her functioning as it is.

One day at dinner Janet eyes her third cup of klah with a disapproving frown. "You know you can't stay awake forever, Becky."

"I can try." Her lightly flippant tone's not fooling anyone.

Jack reaches over the table and plucks the mug out of her hand, ignoring her protest. "Nope! No more for you, young lady. Contrary to what Danny and Carter believe, scientists do not live on caffeine alone."

Daniel scowls. "Not funny, Jack."

Janet's point has been made, however.

Yet Becky has no idea what else to do. She's out of options.

What good is being brave, if her own mind's driving her off the deep end?


Mac sighs and leans back in his chair, looking around at the impromptu conspiracy gathered in the conference room. Reminds him uncomfortably of the Norris thing.

Only Teyla and Evan are absent, having volunteered to distract Becky by taking her to visit the Athosian settlement for the afternoon.

Though he takes heart in knowing so many are concerned for her well-being he remains less than optimistic. If even the smartest people in two galaxies can't come up with a workable solution then no one can.

"Her condition is getting worse," Heightmeyer reluctantly confirms. "More nightmares, more flashbacks- and of course there was that panic attack the other day when Ronon showed off one of his knives at lunch and she dived under the table," pinning the Satedan with a baleful look.

He shrugs. "Hey, I said I was sorry. Didn't mean to scare her, but how was I to know she's hair-triggered?"

Jack sighs, leaning back and folding his arms. "Just peachy. This was supposed to be a relaxing vacation for her. All it's doing is making matters worse."

"Don't blame yourself, Jack. We all thought it was a good idea at the time." Mac looks over to McKay, Zelenka and Beckett. "You guys know of any Ancient or Pegasus remedies that help with bad dreams?"

"As a matter of fact," begins McKay, "there's something from M3X-387 in secure storage..." looking anxiously at Sheppard.

Who grimaces. "Jeez Rodney, you don't mean that crystal thing that inserted us into each others' nightmares? Good thing nobody died, is all I have to say."

"Oh, yeah. That crystal thing." He shudders at the memory. "God, no. We're absolutely not doing that. No way."

Zelenka raises his hand. "There was an entry in the database this morning that caught my attention, about an Ancient machine here in the city that enables the sharing of dreams. Perhaps used as part of refining their spirits for Ascension," looking to Heightmeyer for confirmation.

She nods, slowly. "Could be. Or for therapy, the better for dangerous impulses to be diminished and collectively purged. As nothing else has worked I wouldn't be averse to using it on her. Under close supervision, that is."

"Is it safe, though?" Daniel wants to know. "For either the dreamer or the ones sharing it, I mean."

"Let me ask 'Lantis," Sheppard says. He's got the same distant look Becky has when communing with Huy-Braesealis. "No problems, as far as she knows. Perfectly safe, no strings attached."

Elizabeth rubs her chin, thoughtfully. "It's intriguing but we should be asking Becky's permission first. John, how many others would need to be connected to this machine for it to work properly if she agrees?"

"Eleven would be best, according to 'Lantis."

"And if we do this, get into her dreams or whatever," Mac hears himself asking, "then how do we make sure she's free of these nightmares for good?"

A thoughtful silence ensues.

Heightmeyer leans forward in her chair, steepling her fingers. "The source of Becky's problem is that she's conflicted. The ordeal pushed her mind and body to the very limit of what anyone could be reasonably expected to tolerate in her situation, and when Norris entered her cell that last time her anger demanded an outlet by seeking retaliation against her tormentor. Which would've happened, if not for Dr. Jackson's intervention."

"And since she's a pacifist she's ashamed of almost resorting to violence," Daniel muses.

"Exactly. Which has created a self-destructive impulse in the form of nightmares, visions and panic attacks."

"There is a darkness within her, and she is lost," Teal'c says with a slight frown.

"That's how she sees it," Heightmeyer agrees. "I believe the key to defusing the impulse lies within her dreams. Perhaps we can use the machine and some verbal cues as a teaching tool, giving her the impetus to face her fears and deal with them in a manner that's more appropriate to her nature."

Elizabeth nods agreement. "This sounds like our best option to help her, then. Rodney, you and Radek retrieve the machine and give it a thorough inspection, then let's put the question to her tomorrow."

The group breaks up but Mac lingers, still uneasy. Daniel once remarked that Ancient technology's something of a double-edged sword. Even with the best of intentions there could be unforeseen side effects.

Whatever happens, he only hopes she'll come out of it with her sanity intact.


Becky stares at them in frank incredulity. "You want to try what on me?"

"Basically, an Ancient machine that lets others see into your nightmares," Kate says. "It's only because the other techniques haven't helped that I'm willing to try something new."

"I don't know if I am. I mean, who'd want to see anyone's dreams, least of all mine?" She shudders, wrapping her arms around herself. "Thanks guys, but no thanks. I think I'll pass."

McKay scowls. "Oh, so you don't need sleep anymore, is that it? You'd prefer to run away from your problems and go nuts rather than accept anyone's help? It's a moronic excuse and you know it, Grahme!" She flinches at his words but says nothing in reply.

"Enough, Rodney," Elizabeth warns. "Becky, we wouldn't dream of suggesting this if we didn't see it as the last option to restore your sanity."

Sheppard nods. "Yeah, and besides, 'Lantis vouches for it so it's gotta be safe."

Becky bites her lip. "I'm still not sure..."

Mac rubs the back of his neck, sharing an uneasy look with Jack. They've seen her this way before, especially after her family died. Withdrawing from everyone, convinced she's better off alone than burden others with her problems.

Like uncles, like niece.

Well, they're not about to let her wallow in self-pity this time. She wouldn't let them get away with it if the tables were turned after all. It's deviating from the script a little but hopefully the others will play along.

They come over to her, each resting a hand on her shoulder. "It's up to you, Beck. We're not gonna force you if you don't want," Mac says. "But if this is the best option for you to beat them, then I wanna be a part of it."

"Ditto. No way we're gonna leave our Brave Princess unprotected," Jack adds, winking at her.

Daniel gently touches her cheek. "I'll do anything to help, you know that. Especially if it means an end to your nightmares."

"So will I," Sam says kindly, squeezing her shoulders in a quick hug. "We've all got your back."

A solemn nod from Teal'c. "Indeed. You have learned to be brave yet there is no dishonor in accepting the assistance of others. I have the utmost confidence you will succeed."

"Hey, count me in," John says in his usual smirky and affectionate tones. "Anything for my little sis."

"I am also willing to share your dreams, no matter how dark they may be." Teyla, calm and confident as ever.

"Same here," Ronon confirms.

Alex and Evan step forward. "You have our help too, Becky. No question."

All eyes turn to Rodney who looks mutinous for a second before capitulating under John's pointed stare. "Oh, all right. I'll volunteer myself before a certain annoying partner does it for me."

"And we'll keep a close eye on everything, make sure no harm comes to your bodies while under," Carson chimes in, indicating himself, Janet, Elizabeth, Zelenka and Heightmeyer. "We're all here for ye, lass."

Becky looks around the room and sighs. "Okay, you've convinced me. I'll do it. I don't know what else to say but thanks. It means a lot to know you guys are in my corner."

"You're welcome, kiddo. So how about we dream a little dream together day after tomorrow?"

"Sure." She smiles weakly at Jack's quip but Mac can tell she's not fully convinced.

He doesn't blame her. The notion of anyone messing with his dreams would scare him, too.


"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Kate asks Becky the next day.

She squirms a bit in her chair. "Well, yeah. I don't really like the idea of people rummaging through my mind and seeing me at my worst."

"I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think but let's set that aside for now. I'd like to change the subject if you don't mind. Can you tell me about your parents?"

"Mom was a psychologist, Dad a middle-school teacher. Both very intelligent and open-minded. They encouraged Chris and me to follow our dreams, think for ourselves and pursue whatever interested us the most."

"Was your mom's work research or clinical?"

"Research. Mostly involved in some sort of top-secret study, though of course we never knew what."

"Sounds like government work runs in the family."

A wry smile. "Yeah, you could say. Jack had his black ops missions for the Air Force, and Mac was an agent for the DXS before joining the Phoenix Foundation. Not that I was aware of any of it until I was older, of course."

"Have you always been interested in other languages and cultures?"

Becky nods. "For as long as I can remember. After I moved in with Mac and took an aptitude test I apparently showed such great proficiency in languages that the scientists at the Foundation decided to take me under their wing, kinda nurture the talent. I think Mac was just relieved I found something to occupy my mind."

"Any other interests?"

"Singing, at least through high school. A lot of reading, especially sci-fi. Daydreaming about adventures with my uncles, thanks to their Brave Princess stories whenever I needed cheering up as a kid. Some even took place on other planets through a magic portal. Which is ironic now that I think about it."

"In what way?"

"Mmm, maybe not the right word." Her face scrunches up, considering. "More like...I don't know, coincidental, maybe? I see the oddest connections between things sometimes."

"Dr. Jackson's mentioned in your SGC file it's one of your strongest talents, along with extrapolation and anticipation. You can see see alternative solutions to problems that haven't even happened yet."

An off-handed shrug. "I guess. My mom was the same, and so is Mac. Even Jack in his sneaky, kinda wacko way."

"So given a choice between two options you always consider the possibility of a third if you had the chance, right?"

"Well, naturally." Her eyes narrow, suddenly suspicious. "Why?"

"Nothing, just good to know."

Becky wonders about that enigmatic smile of hers for a while afterwards. Mom often wore a similar expression, especially after giving one of her notoriously sneaky lessons about growing up.

Maybe it comes with the profession.


The next day they gather in a secluded room provided by 'Lantis, away from prying eyes and curious minds, big enough to accommodate eleven cushioned reclining chairs surrounding a twelfth in the center.

On a table nearby Rodney and Radek hover over what the database called apparatus in óneira visum, which John- to Rodney's chagrin- naturally translates to the Dream Machine: a bronze-colored, eight-sided shape with six vertices standing perfectly upright in its oblong base. Braids of tightly-woven silver cables define a projection around it of the same shape, only extended outwards.

"A hyperoctahedron," Sam breathes, a look of awe in her eyes. "A three-dimensional rendering of a octahedron extending into the fourth dimension."

"I thought time's supposed to be the fourth dimension," Daniel says, brows furrowed.

"Exactly! The Ancients must have discovered some kind of correlation between dreams and the persistence of memory through time, using a fourth-dimensional polyhedron like this to visualize the connection."

Jack cocks his head, squinting at the shape. "I dunno, Carter. The way it kinda shifts around in my vision strikes me as downright...squirrelly."

Twelve cables extend outward from the base, each of the same silvery material and connected to diádēma or bronze-colored headbands with embedded electrodes that settle around their heads, one key and eleven subsidiary units.

Becky realizes with a shiver that she is that key, at least for today.

After he finishes setting up Rodney spares a glance in her direction. She fully expects him to launch into one of his dire predictions of doom any second, but to her surprise he only gives her a faint smile and tiny wave of encouragement. She waves back, nonplussed.

The irascible Rodney McKay actually being supportive. Will wonders never cease.

"Very easy to operate," Radek informs Carson. "All you have to do is push this button to activate. I will monitor operations from here," indicating his tablet.

He shudders. "I'd really rather not. You know Ancient tech responds oddly to me sometimes. Remember the drone testing incident?"

John chuckles and pats him on the back. "C'mon Carson, everyone knows that one going haywire when you were in the chair was just a fluke. And besides, 'Lantis already forgave you."

He looks dubious but offers a weak smile in return. "Aye, well. If you say so."

Amid their byplay Becky takes the center chair, nervously watching the others mill about with last-minute preparations. All this fuss is making her so uncomfortable, she actually contemplates calling the whole thing off.

Yet there are no other options. It's either submit herself to the vagaries of Ancient tech or let the nightmares drive her insane and Norris wins after all.

This is her only chance to break free.

Carson and Janet pass around bottles of water and pills. "Just a wee sedative and muscle relaxant," he says. "To calm your minds and bodies enough to make the machine work more effectively. The dose is small so the effects should last only for the duration of the dream."

Daniel's hand caresses her cheek, a subtle reassuring touch. "Ready to dream?"

"Not really," she admits.

"There's nothing to worry about. You know you can trust everyone here. Remember Operation Astria? This is no different." He twirls a lock of her hair around a finger. "By the way, I have something important to ask you."

"Now?"

An impish smile. "Later. Just want you to keep it in mind, so to speak." He bends to kiss her forehead. "Tá creideamh agam ionat, a chromáin. Bheith cróga. Is breá liom tú."

"Go raibh maith agat, mo fhitheach. Tá mé i ngrá leat freisin," she whispers in return. He kisses her again and steps back, his hand lingering in hers before pulling away.

"Are we ready here?" Elizabeth inquires of the room in general. "Becky?"

She takes a deep breath, steels herself. "Yeah. Let's do it."

"Initiating machine," Radek says, and winks at her. "Hodně štěstí, drahý příteli."

The hyperoctahedron begins to spin, filling the room with a softly pulsing light that's almost hypnotic.

Carson hands her a pill and water bottle. "Just drink this down and close your eyes, lass. We'll take care of everything."

She raises them in an ironic toast. "Here goes nothing."

"To a successful mission," Elizabeth counters. General murmurs of agreement along with smiles and subtle nods or winks in encouragement as the other participants settle in to their respective chairs, taking the meds before the diádēma is placed on their heads and leaning back.

Mac gently squeezes her shoulder as he passes by. "You can do this, Beck."

"Sure you can," Jack says confidently. "And hey, whatever happens don't forget you've got folks who care about you. We've all got your six. See ya on the other side."

His reassurance lingers in her mind as she swallows the pill and Carson gently places the key diádēma on her head.

She reclines in the chair, closing her eyes as the sedative quickly takes hold.


The wind howls. Thunder and lightning crash over her head, like the powerful autumn storms that whip through Settlement Valley.

She runs, making random turns, feet bleeding on sharp stones and broken glass.

Every bone, every muscle in her body aches but she can't stop running. It's the only instinct she can trust anymore.

There's no definite goal, no real destination. Only the running.

"Idiot!" A sneering voice suspiciously like Rodney's. "Fleeing from your problems is not gonna solve them. If you're really a Brave Princess- which I seriously doubt- then for god's sake act like one!"

"No more running," Ronon's deep voice asserts. "This is your battle. Turn and face your fear. Fight and win!"

She stumbles to a halt and turns around to find Norris lurching towards her, a bright crimson hole in the center of his forehead burning like a malevolent third eye. A flash of lightning glints off the wicked knife in his hand.

The earth gives a sudden mighty heave, yawning open into an impossibly wide chasm, leaving Norris on the other side.

Her relief is all-too-short as the ground beneath her feet begins to tilt dangerously towards the chasm. She scrambles to find purchase, hands clawing with desperation until they turn slick with blood.

It's useless.

The chasm swallows her whole, devouring both body and soul. Spitting her out into the darkness of an interstellar void.

She drifts.

No pain, no sorrow. No hatred, no fear.

It's oddly peaceful.

Until it isn't.

Before her swirls an ominous, seething mass of nothing. Somehow she knows Norris is a part of it, his colorless eyes sucking all the peace away, leaving behind pain and fear and despair.

Tendrils reach out to draw her in, ready to strip away every inch of her identity. Ready to erase any memory of friends, of loved ones, of self.

Eager to remove everything from her that makes her who she was, who she is, and who she might someday become. Eager to abolish anything that gives her worth or dignity.

Turning her into nothing more than a reflection of him/itself. Turning her into nothing at all.

The mass looms before her, radiating ignorance and hatred, jealousy and spite. "Foolish girl," Norris taunts her. "You are already nothing! No one loves you, or ever will. No one cares about you. You don't count. There's nothing special about you. Too short, too ordinary. Not worth anyone's attention. Just a freak, a nerd."

Well-known schoolyard insults. The words no longer sting as they used to growing up, but the dangerous emotions behind them remain, churned together into this formless aggregation of negativity.

Teyla at an Athosian loom, calmly weaving the tapestry of her life: "This is truly the heart of the darkness within us all. It can only be countered by the light of those who love us. You are not alone."

Presences surround her, twinkling stars in the void. Warm and familiar, lending her strength, intelligence, empathy, determination. Also imagination, loyalty, kindness, courage, compassion.

Same as when she initialized the Astria sto pro Oculo, in both modes.

"Fight it!" they urge her. "Fight it or else turn and run again, forever. And then you'll never find your way out."

But how? And with what?

"With everything that's in you," Sam advises.

Right. She can do this.

She dresses herself in knightly garb. Blue surcoat belted over silver chainmail, a coronet on her otherwise loose and wild hair. Sword in her left hand, shield in her right.

Defiant and ready for battle.

"That's our girl," encourages Jack. "You almost beat him in real life. You can do it here, too."

"Of course she can. She may be little but boy, she's fierce," John quips.

"You have two options," Evan states. "Fight or flight. Which will it be?"

She grits her teeth and raises her sword, intent on vanquishing her foe-

-yet she hesitates.

Only two options? Seriously?

She knows better.

"That's right. Violence isn't the only answer, if it doesn't have to be," Mac reminds her. "You have a third option."

Perhaps even a braver one.

And now she knows which one she will choose, in the end.

She squares her shoulders, steels herself.

Turns to face her enemy head on.

Dropping her sword and shield to the ground, looking directly into Norris' colorless eyes- and those of the nothing behind him.

"I forgive you. And I forgive myself."

Norris throws his head back and screams. The big seething mass of nothing rears high into the air like a tidal wave, threatening to come crashing down on her-

-then both completely vanish.

"Your enemy has been defeated. The path is now clear," intones Teal'c.

Only she can't see it yet. The void swirls around her, dark and impenetrable.

"Let the Raven light your way back," Alex says.

Sooty black wings unfurl to reveal a smiling Daniel, holding a brilliant white light in his hands.

He winks at her, tossing it as a ball high above him. "Catch it if you can, Hummingbird!"

On swift wings she follows the dancing light through the darkness, which gradually lightens until she finds herself in a sunlit grassy plain, empty save for an upright stone circle and a ramp.

She lands on the ramp, staring into the blue-white shimmer promising adventure, promising freedom.

One small step.

Without hesitation she takes it-

"Waking stage achieved," Radek says. "All readings optimal."

A hand rests on her shoulders, lightly shaking. "Becky? Time to wake up now."

The diádēma is lifted off her head and Carson bends over her, shining a bright light into her eyes. She blinks and weakly bats it away. "Easy, lass. Just checking your vitals." After some poking and prodding he helps her to sit up.

Elizabeth comes into view, a relieved smile on her face. "Welcome back. How do you feel?"

She takes a minute to consider. "Better, I think. How's everyone else?"

"See for yourself," stepping back and gesturing around the room at the others slowly sitting up, removing the diádēma and letting themselves be looked over by Janet and Carson before standing up and stretching.

Jack smiles as he comes over to her, gently ruffling her hair. "Hey, sleepyhead. Looks like you found the way out, huh?"

"I guess so. Sorry to disappoint you guys."

He quirks an eyebrow. "Who says you did?"

"Well, I must've, the way most of you were encouraging me to fight and all. I mean, you gave me two options in dealing with my fears- fight or flight. And I did neither. I chose a third way."

No one looks surprised at her words. In fact, everyone trades knowing- even sad or rueful- glances with each other.

And then it comes to her. "Wait a minute. You guys knew forgiveness was the solution all along, didn't you?"

Mac shrugs. "Sure. Never a doubt in our minds that's what you would choose, if given a chance."

"You always think of another way," Kate agrees. "We merely provided you with the impetus to do just that."

"By pushing me enough to face my fears and defeat them, you mean."

Jack nods. "Yeah. Had to make sure you knew what you were up against. See, it's easy to run from your problems. Harder to face them down. Hardest of all to forgive yourself."

Solemn nods of agreement from everyone else. They've all learned that lesson, one way or another.

And so has she, now.

Kate smiles, kindly. "Becky, you've done that the hard way but you are here, and whole, and all you have endured has only made you stronger. We've given you the keys to deal with the rest but you need time to process everything."

Becky can only nod acknowledgement. Truer words never spoken.

"Go take it easy for a while, you've earned a break. I'm sure Dr. Jackson will be happy to assist you," Elizabeth says with a ghost of a wink.

"Of course I will." Daniel comes up behind her, sliding an arm around her waist in silent support. "You okay?"

She sags against him, incredibly weary. "I'm beat. Is it weird that I want to lie down for a while?"

"Not at all. You've been through a pretty intense experience." He kisses her forehead. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"Sure." She looks around the room in gratitude, all the dear members of their wonderfully unconventional extended family. She owes them now, in more ways than mere words will ever be able to convey. "Thank you," she says simply.

"We're just glad you're better, Beck. Really." Jack answers for the rest. "See ya later."


"Are we making a mistake?"

Mac gives his brother a sideways glance as they stroll through the corridors. Hasn't seen him this subdued in years, with head bowed and shoulders slumped.

Facing down nightmares is exhausting, even if someone else's. Maybe especially because they're someone else's.

"Worse than deliberately withholding information from our niece in the totally misguided belief it would keep her from going nuts?" Couldn't keep the ironic edge from his voice even if he tried.

Jack's shoulders slump even more. "Point taken."

They stop before the door to Becky and Daniel's apartment. Jack waggles his fingers at the sensor.

Daniel's eyebrows rise almost to his hairline as it slides open. "Huh. Wasn't expecting both of you."

Jack shrugs, half-heartedly. "Yeah, well. Is Becky around?"

"I don't think that's a good idea right now. She's resting."

"Aw c'mon, Danny. Let us in, willya?"

He fixes them with a hard stare, crossing his arms over his chest. "Give me one good reason, Jack."

"Sam's furious. She told me point-blank I'll be sleeping on the couch until the heat death of the universe if I don't come clean with Becky. Which I'm guessing is an awfully long time from now."

Mac grimaces. "Same here. Got an earful and a half from Janet on the subject. And she's more stubborn than me, when it comes right down to it."

"Serves you both right." Daniel doesn't bother to conceal the disapproval in his voice. "Not telling Becky about Norris in the first place was a damned boneheaded mistake, and you know it."

Jack bristles. "Okay, fine. You win, you told us so, you're always right. Satisfied?" They glare at him and he immediately subsides. "Sorry. It's just that the gals want us to make it up to Becky, and we gotta start somewhere. So how about letting us talk to her already?"

Daniel sighs, rubbing the back of his head. "Look, I get it but now's not a good time. I finally got her settled down and-"

"What's going on?" Becky's standing in the short hallway to the bedroom, wearing an oversized t-shirt with a blue Athosian blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Pale and tired, with red-rimmed eyes like she's been crying.

Judging by the loving concern on Daniel's face she probably has.

Jack clears his throat. "Hey, Beck. Got time for a chat?"

She shares a look with Daniel before shrugging assent. "Sure. You guys want anything to drink?"

"Nah, we're good, thanks," Mac says, shoving a suddenly reluctant Jack ahead of him into the living room. Their apartment resembles their place in Gateway, what with Daniel's tendency to accumulate things in messy piles balanced by Becky's classy neatness, inherited from her father's side for a change. Makes for an organized chaos Mac's familiar with from his years as her guardian.

He and Jack perch on modular armchairs (Ancient-style decor persists in looking modern to Mac's eyes) while Becky settles gingerly on the couch with her hands in her lap, seemingly unaware of Daniel's protective arm curving around her shoulders. A glint in his eyes warns them this won't be the usual social call.

An awkward silence follows. And stretches.

Jack sits back, absently fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Mac leans forward, drumming his fingers against his thighs.

Finally Becky sighs in exasperation. "Look, it's been a hell of a day and I feel like sleeping for a week. So whatever you want to say just spit it out, already."

Jack glances at Mac. "You first."

"Gee, thanks a lot." he mutters, then takes a deep breath. "Okay. We're really sorry for not warning you about Norris when he first escaped from Gamma Base. Everyone else knew but we hoped he could be taken care of with you none the wiser."

"Look how that turned out," Daniel can't help muttering. Jack shoots him a glare but it's half-hearted at best.

Why does this have to be so darn hard? "Yeah. Thing is, we thought we could protect you this time. Didn't want a repeat of when Murdoc kidnapped you."

To his surprise Becky just sighs, shaking her head. "God, you're still obsessing about that after all these years? That's nuts. For the last time ever there's nothing you could've done to stop Murdoc, it was always gonna happen. Sure it was awful and even kinda creepy, and I'll have these scars forever because of it," indicating the white lines around her wrists. "But eventually I accepted it and moved on. Can't you do the same?"

He swallows the lump in his throat. "Wish I could, Beck. You know I'm not used to forgiving myself."

"Of course I do. But if I can forgive myself for what happened in Sidon then hopefully you can do the same about Murdoc." She comes over, eyes full of understanding and love as she takes his hands in hers. "And you need to, Unc. Take it from me, that world's gone now, along with the pain and sadness that came with it. It's no use dwelling on the past."

He manages a weak smile. "How come I have such a smart niece, huh?"

"Because I'm lucky enough to have the two best uncles in the universe looking out for me." He lets her pull him up off the chair for a hug. "It's okay, I forgive you."

"Thanks." He holds her tight.

Finally Jack clears his throat. "Guess it's my turn, then." He gets up off the chair and kneels, wincing a little.

She blinks. "Um, there's no need to do that."

"Yes, there is. See, it should've been me in Sidon, Beck. Not you." No flippancy in his voice, only quiet, honest remorse. "I take full responsibility. You've been threatening to throttle me anyway-"

She stares at him as if he's gone nuts. "Jeez, I was kidding!"

"I'm not," he says firmly. "So here's your chance. Take your best shot."

Hesitantly her hands settle first on his broad shoulders, then on either side of his neck. Not tight but not too loose, either.

He can restrain her with ease if he wants to. But he doesn't, instead putting himself entirely in her hands. A profound gesture of trust, even among family.

Mac's suitably impressed. Daniel's brow furrows but slowly nods in understanding.

She takes a few deep shuddering breaths, tears trickling down her cheeks. Then lowers her head until their foreheads touch, Athosian-style. "I forgive you too," she says softly. "Though it's my fault, not yours. I suggested that Norris be exiled to Gamma Base in the first place. I should've seen it coming. If there's any blame to be had it's on me."

He reaches up to frame her face, thumbs lightly brushing the tears away. "No way, kiddo. You did the right thing at first- killing's not in your nature and that's okay. What happened later was on him, not you. You handled things like a champ in Sidon, staying behind and letting Penarra and the others go."

"I didn't tell Ba'al anything important, I swear I didn't. Only the stuff we'd already agreed upon, those dead-end Gate addresses you made me memorize. I'm not a traitor."

"Never doubted it for a second. You set an example for the rest of us."

She flushes, bowing her head. "Don't know about that. Nothing different than any of you would've done in my place. I learned from you guys, not the other way around."

"Which makes you teachers' pet in my book. Couldn't be more proud of you if I tried."

"You really mean it?"

"You bet," gently tilting up her chin and smiling into her eyes. "So, we good now?"

A crooked smile. "Yeah, we're good."

"Peachy. Now give me a hand up, this floor's hard on my knees." She does with a chuckle. He uses the leverage to pull her into a hug which she gratefully accepts.

Mac notices Daniel watching from the opposite side. They share a sympathetic, even relieved look.

"Thanks for looking after her," he says quietly.

He ducks his head and shrugs a little, like Becky reluctant to accept compliments. "My pleasure, Mac. Really."

Birds of a feather, as Jack would say. Good thing they have each other.

"I'm glad you guys came over," Becky says as they pull apart. "I really needed this."

"So did we, kiddo," he murmurs, bending to kiss her forehead. "Bedtime now, okay? Go have lots of sweet dreams, that's an order."

"Yes sir, Uncle General-Governor," snapping off a mock-salute.

"That's not how it's supposed to be done, ya know."

"I'm left-handed," she reminds him with a smirk.

He chuckles, affectionately ruffling her hair. "That's my girl. See ya tomorrow, Danny. Take care of her, now."

"Of course I will, Jack."

"Terrific. C'mon Mac, let's get outta here. I got a plan to make Sam and Janet forgive us."

Mac groans as they leave the apartment. "At this hour? We're more likely to get cold showers the rest of the week for waking the entire city. Not to mention cold shoulders from Sam and Janet in the morning."

"Nah, you worry too much. They'll love it."

He knows better than to trust his brother's brand of wacko, he really does. Nonetheless he lets himself get talked into it.

Which is how they wind up serenading their better halves in the corridor outside their respective apartments at 0230.

They have to suffer cold showers for a couple days at most. But only because they woke McKay who was so startled he kicked Sheppard out of bed by accident.

Who later confides to Mac he actually found it hilarious, even as he tried hard not to laugh in front of his partner lest he be banished to sleep on the couch for a week. "So were you at least drunk when you did it?"

Mac sighs. "Nope. Just Jack being Jack, I'm afraid."

Sheppard nods sagely. "I know the feeling."

At least Sam and Janet let them sleep in warm beds after that. And not alone, either.


Daniel wakes suddenly, blinking in the darkness. He can just make out Becky sitting upright, her arms wrapped around her legs. "Bad dreams again?"

"Actually, no. Just got to thinking about what Mac mentioned earlier, how you guys knew about Norris but decided to keep it from me."

Might as well come clean. "Yeah. I wanted to tell you but Jack ordered me not to."

He expected her to be furious once she found out. Instead she just sighs. "Figures. Had a gut feeling there was something important being kept from me. What hurts the most is that none of you believed I could handle the truth."

"I know. I should've just disobeyed Jack and told you outright. Only excuse I can give is that I was worried about how you'd react too." He sits up, reaching over to gently stroke her back. "I'm so sorry for doubting you. Forgive me?"

She scoots closer, taking his other hand in hers, linking their fingers. "I do. Only promise you'll never go behind my back again. Please?"

"I won't. You have my word."

"Good." She pauses. "I tried to be brave for Penarra's sake. But it was so hard near the end. And then when Norris charged at me I almost lost it anyway. I've never wished harm on anyone before in my life. I'm so ashamed."

"There's no need to be. You didn't give in, as I knew you wouldn't. I'm so proud of my Brave Princess."

To his surprise she starts giggling, then laughing outright. He blinks at her, puzzled. "Um, what's so funny? Was it something I said?"

"Yeah, I...you..." More helpless laughter. "Oh, god. Mac told you, didn't he? About the bedtime stories he made up when I was little."

"Uh-huh. The Adventures of the Brave Princess, and her uncles the Clever Knight and the Captain of the Flying Guard. Though he made me promise not to mention the last one to Jack, as he'd actually made Captain in the Air Force by then and was rather proud of it."

She snorts. "Figures. Kinda ridiculous, huh?"

"Oh, I don't think so. The stories sound like fun. And you are, you know."

"A princess?" Archly, but with an undercurrent of self-depreciation.

"Brave," he insists. "All the things you've done, the challenges you've already faced. Trust me, you've never needed to learn how to be brave. You already are."

"Nice of you to say." She says it lightly but he remembers the faint haunted look in her eyes from earlier, giving them a more guarded quality than before.

The nightmares robbed her of vitality and self-confidence, as well as sleep. She's recovered some of it but he knows she still needs to be taken care of, pampered and nurtured in body and soul. Which will be his pleasure.

And hers, he hopes.

In the faint glow of the city lights outside the window he reaches out, turning her face towards him, touching his lips to hers. "I'm here for you, Becky," he says softly, sincerely. "No matter what. I'm here."

She draws back, enough to study his features in wonder. "Oh, Daniel-" she whispers. Then in a flurry of motion he barely has time to register his lap is full of her, her lips on his skin everywhere she can reach, sending sparks of fire through him to center in his loins.

She sets her cheek against his chest, nuzzling into it as she does when contented. He rests his chin on top of her head and wraps his arms around her, swaying gently as they hold each other close.

"I've really missed this," he sighs as she drops kisses down his sternum. "I missed touching you this way."

"So have I. I'm sorry."

He presses his lips against her hair. "Don't be. This is worth the wait."

"I love you. So very much. I'm glad we're together."

"So am I. I love you too." He cradles her face in his hands, seeking her lips. Savoring their softness and the sweetness between them he'll always crave, like the finest ambrosia.

Sleep shirt and boxers are quickly removed then his hands are free to caress her body, the scent and taste of her so warm and familiar it's like they've never been apart. Long fingers nimbly trace hieroglyphs as he whispers phrases and spells of love and protection and healing. She responds with instinctive words and symbols of her own.

Everything moves forward with an intimacy that comes only from knowing each other so well. Redefining their secret lexicon of pleasure all over again, exploring each other's bodies with hands and lips, in care and tender passion.

He's eager to teach. She's eager to learn.

Joining with her feels like coming home.

"My raven," she moans, "you bring me light."

"My hummingbird," he gasps, "you bring me joy."

Their culmination is the most beautiful thing he's ever experienced.

Afterwards they drift off to sleep, entwined in sweet repose. Two hearts beating as one, thoroughly content with themselves and the world.


Notes: Brief mention of SGA S4 E04, "Doppelganger" though with no loss of life in this 'verse.

Please see A Linguist's Guide to New Earth on A03 for translations.