Chapter 29
Had he screwed up? Yeah, Nikolo was pretty sure he had. His talk with Victor yesterday had gone so well, he hadn't said anything unnecessary, but with Ulrich…
"Just a few words" he thought with a frown "We only exchanged a few words and I ended up saying something I definitely shouldn't have!"
Ulrich hadn't commented on it, but Nikolo didn't miss the look of disbelief his brother had worn on his face. That combined with his silence was what worried him. Had the man given him a good rant then and there, or even just called him crazy or stupid, the soldier could've believed that the matter was solved, that it wouldn't be brought up again. But his brother had said nothing.
"Will he bring this up to our father? Grandfather?" he wondered "He might even go as far as to report to my superiors… god damnit, me and my big mouth!"
"Something's definitely bothering you today" Thomas said "What happened?"
Nikolo sighs.
"I talked with my brothers" he says "Went well with the younger one, but I screwed up with the older one even though we only exchanged a few words."
"Huh" Thomas muses "I take it you messed up pretty badly, then?"
"Oh yeah" Nikolo grits out "Normally, he really lets me have it if I do or say something he doesn't like, but this time he stayed quiet. And on the few times that's happened in the past, it's been bad. This will not end well for me."
"…Not end well as in there will be some serious family drama, or not end well as in you're in actual danger?" Thomas asks. Nikolo almost, almost says "both", but holds his tongue. If he said it, his partner would demand more information and definitely try to interfere somehow. He shouldn't do anything that would make the situation worse.
"Former" he says "Though I'll definitely end up with an elbow to my stomach or something soon."
Thomas stares at him, and Nikolo realizes he's not buying it. Damn.
"…Just remember that I'm here if you need me, alright?" he says "For anything."
Nikolo blinks.
"Uh… sure" he says "Thanks."
He honestly had no choice but to wonder what he'd done to get a friend like that.
XXXXX
Sasha groaned; her head hurt. Why did it hurt? What had she been doing? She couldn't remember… she'd had a rough day, that much she knew. She'd just wanted to go to bed… and she was in a bed, she could tell, so she had succeeded… so why did her head hurt? She was forgetting something, for sure…
"Has she woken up yet?" she could hear a voice. Whose voice was this again? It was very familiar; someone she spoke with often…
"No" another voice, this one also familiar "Her head got hit pretty hard, so it could take a while before she wakes up."
Her head had gotten hit? By what, when? What happened?
"I just hope there's no permanent damage…" Samuel said. Yes, definitely Samuel, Sasha could recognize his voice now.
"She's a war veteran, isn't she?" whose voice was this again? Think, Sasha, think! "Surely she can handle a little hit like this."
"I suppose so" says Samuel. A pause "…Are you feeling guilty?"
"It's not my fault!" the other person snaps, and from the angry tone, Sasha finally recognizes the voice. Jonas "I didn't ask her to come to my aid!"
Come to his aid…? Ah!
"Yet she did anyway" Samuel says "That's the kind of person she, an evil Eldian, is."
The explosion, the smoke, the fire… it all came back to Sasha.
"I haven't called her evil in weeks" Jonas defends himself "Actually, did I ever?"
Jonas sounded fine. Good, she'd succeeded. But was she forgetting something else…?
"That's not the point and you know it" Samuel hisses "Be a little kinder to her from now on!"
What was it again? Sasha knew that there was still some important piece missing…
"I've been very civil with her compared to how I could treat her" Jonas again "And the same goes for you, but I'm starting to regret that part!"
"Really now?" Samuel, and he sounded angry. Gosh, Sasha hoped they'd just shut up; she was trying to think!
"Yes, really" just shut up already "I don't owe you a thing, unlike to her and the midget captain!"
Midget captain…? Oh…. oh shit, Levi- "
"CAPTAIN!" Sasha screams as her eyes snap open and she bolts up in the bed, immediately regretting it as her head starts to spin and she feels dizzy.
"Sasha!?" she turns her head, and sees her clearly startled partner "Take it easy!"
She lets Samuel push her back down, but only because she feels so lightheaded. Blinking a few times, she asks: "Where's the captain?"
"He's safe" Samuel assured "Safe and already back on duty."
Sasha let out a sigh of relief. They'd all made it out, the captain apparently even unharmed. Turning her head in order to check on the other one, sitting safely on the bed next to hers, Sasha winced at the movement.
"How's your leg, Jonas?"
He looked surprised, but seemed to shrug it off.
"Fine; it's just a sprained ankle" he answers "I'm off duty for now, though; the doctors want to keep an eye on me since I might've inhaled too much smoke."
"Okay…" Sasha hesitated, but then asked: "And me? Am I going to be okay?"
"I'm sure you'll be fine; you hit your head pretty hard, but since you managed to wake up, it shouldn't be that bad." Samuel assured her, and Jonas nodded along.
"What he said. It's only been a day anyway" the Marleyan said "I heard the doctor say that if you'd wake up in the next few days, there shouldn't be any major damage."
"Meaning I'll be fine?"
"Most likely" Jonas confirmed, and Sasha grinned. All had turned out okay after all… though she could do without that stern glare Samuel was giving her. Her smile turning sheepish, she asks: "What?"
"That was way too careless of you" he says with a scowl "You're a war veteran; one would think you'd know better than to take unnecessary risks!"
"It was a calculated risk" Sasha said, giving Jonas a glare as he said: "I'm surprised you know that word."
"Since you're lying there, it was obviously a miscalculated risk" Samuel shot back, sighing "I'm not saying this just to nag, Sasha. I was worried about you. I… I can't lose you."
Sasha looked away, slightly ashamed. Not of her actions, she didn't regret it, but the fact was that she'd caused Samuel trouble with what she did. And she understood his feelings; they'd both lost ways too many comrades over the years.
"Sorry" she says "I'll try to think things through from now on."
"I feel like I've heard that one before" Samuel huffed, but couldn't stop a smile from forming. Sasha grinned, sticking her tongue out at him.
"I need to go; there's a lot of work to do. You just rest" he says, casting a glare at Jonas "Don't cause her any trouble, got it?"
Jonas rolled his eyes, saying: "Tell that to her; I'm not the one stupid enough to cause trouble under these circumstances."
"Hey!" Sasha protested, but then what he'd said really sunk in "What circumstances?"
"Things are tense thanks to the fire" Jonas tells "Some of our people say that it was your side who lit it, while some on your side insist, we set the fire to pin the blame on you guys."
Sasha groaned.
"What a mess!"
"We'll clear it out" Samuel assures "As long as no one causes more trouble."
"Yeah yeah, I know" Jonas says, rolling his eyes "Get going before Captain Shorty gets tired of waiting and feeds you to one of your titans."
Sasha can't help but laugh as Samuel gives Jonas one final glare, but walks off afterwards.
"I wonder how pissed off he'd be if I pushed you off the bed" the Marleyan wonders, making Sasha snort "Like you'd be able to."
"Are you doubting my strength?" he asks with a smirk "Shall we test?"
"Nah, let's not" Sasha said, smirking back as she thinks back to her companion's earlier words "What was that about you owing me?"
Jonas' face flushed.
"You heard that?"
"Sure did~" Sasha sang. This was going to be fun! "So, do I get a wish? Do I decide now or can I save it for later?"
"Don't get too excited" Jonas snaps, his face still burning like the building from the night before "I decide when and where I pay you back!"
Sasha pouts, but inwardly, she's actually a little pleased. She had no idea how she would've expected Jonas to react to being saved by her and the captain, who were Eldians, but he was taking it better than she expected. Having one's life saved was a big deal of course, but she still wouldn't have been surprised if the man had gotten mad or pretended that nothing ever happened. If she hadn't been sure before, she definitely was now: they were able to change Jonas' views on Eldians, slowly but surely. And if they managed with him, they'd manage with others too. Of that, Sasha had no doubt.
"Fine" she says "But you better do it!"
"Yeah yeah" he says, coughing "Now, free advice: shut up and try to get some sleep. You hit your head pretty hard."
Sasha smiled. She wanted to tease him about being worried about her, but decided not to test her luck too much as she'd already picked on him. Besides, she did still feel kind of dizzy. But before it was time to sleep-
"Are you okay, though?" she asks "Besides the leg, I mean."
"Yeah, no trouble here" Jonas says "Just…"
"Just?" she presses when he doesn't continue. The Marleyan doesn't answer, and Sasha frowns "Jonas?"
"It's nothing… sort of" he says, looking away "I'm sure it's just a small loss, considering the circumstances."
"What happened?" Sasha presses "Did you lose something in the fire?"
He nods.
"What was it?"
"…" Jonas stayed quiet, and Sasha already became convinced that he wouldn't tell her. And yet, he did: "The letter."
He didn't need to specify; she knew he must've meant the one he always carried around and read from time to time, always careful that no one saw what was written in it.
"It wasn't just a list of tips from your friend, was it?" she asks the obvious. He shakes his head "What was it, then?"
He looks at her, he looks hesitant, like he's actually trying to decide if to tell her or not. It surprises Sasha; she had expected him to just snap that it wasn't her business. His eyes dart around, to check if no one was around or looking for an escape, she couldn't tell. Patience wasn't her strong suit when dealing with other people but now, seeing so clearly how conflicted Jonas is, she silently waits.
"That letter… I didn't lie about who it was from, not really, but the contents…" Jonas was stuttering, looking anywhere but at her. Sasha had no idea where this was going, but it seemed to be something the man had to get off of his chest "The letter was for- "
There's a knock on the door, and Sasha inwardly curses as Jonas' mouth clams shut.
"Why now of all times!?" Sasha wonders, snapping: "It's open!"
"What, bad day?" Jean asks with a frown "You don't sound too happy."
"I'm not; a certain idiot is causing me inconvenience"
Jean glares at Jonas, but the man meets his gaze, saying: "She's not talking about me."
The scout raises an eyebrow, saying: "But there's no one else here."
"Really? And here I thought that someone just walked in" the Marleyan says, and Jean scowls, groaning when Sasha nods along.
"Right. Me, then" he says "Did I interrupt some kind of heart to heart talk or something? Wait no, please don't tell me I interrupted a love confe- "
"No!" the two chorus as one before Jean can finish. Sasha can feel her face heating up, but Jonas on the other hand is pale, clearly scandalized.
"Gross" he says, shaking his head "That's just fucking gross."
"Still in the girls have cooties -phase I see" Jean said. Sasha was sure he knew exactly what Jonas was actually referring to, but maybe it was better to not bring it up.
"Fuck off" is the sophisticated reply that Jonas gives him, fishing out crutches from the other side of the bed "I'm out."
Sasha blinks.
"Where are you going?"
"To get some fresh air" he says with a shake of his head, muttering as he goes: "Gross, just gross."
"I think he took the joke a bit too seriously" Jean says with a laugh "And here I thought he wasn't a serious guy."
"He's not" Sasha says "But I suppose that one went a bit too far for his liking."
"Can't blame him; you're a real piece of work sometimes" Jean laughs, and Sasha pouts.
"Why are you here, anyway?"
"Samuel told me that you woke up, so I came to check on you" Jean tells, occupying Jonas' earlier place "How's your head?"
"I feel a little dizzy, but otherwise fine" Sasha told. They were quiet for a moment before she asked: "How are things outside? No fighting has broken out, right?"
"Aside from some small squabbles, no" Jean says with a sigh "Both sides are blaming the other, but thankfully, us on charge know that openly claiming that the other side did it would just lead to more trouble, even war if we're unlucky."
"So, this'll change nothing? We can continue as we were?" Sasha asks hopefully. If all they had to do was rebuild what the fire had destroyed, that wouldn't be so bad. In fact, rebuilding it together could help building up some team spirit.
"In theory, yes" Jean says "In practice, no."
"…Huh?"
"Some of the process we've had so far is bound to become undone" Jean tells "Deals that are already made will be broken by some excuse, a few already have in fact, and the opinions that individual Marleyans have of us are going to be even less favorable after this."
"And the word will spread" Sasha realizes, groaning "All our work and even the minimal success of getting them to see as something else than devils is going to burn away, isn't it?"
"Could be" Jean says, but to Sasha's surprise he smiles "I don't think it's all lost, though."
"What do you mean?"
"Jonas was quite worried, you know" Jean laughs "So much so that he didn't even try, or perhaps even remember, to hide it. I think you've made a new friend."
Sasha looks at him, dumbfounded, before breaking in to a wide grin.
"Yes!" she cheers "See? Even if the progress is slow, we can make this work!"
"Wipe that "I told you so" -look off of your face" Jean says, but he's smiling too "Or your face is going to get stuck like that."
"We could use more smiles around here" she laughs "Speaking of which, when was the last time we saw the captain smile?"
"No idea" Jean says, smile dropping as he gives Sasha a hard glare "Don't even think about pranking him to make him smile. You know it only does the opposite."
Sasha pouts.
"You're no fun."
XXXXX
"Nicky, a word" Nikolo takes a deep breath, following his older brother out of the dining room. As he did, he cursed the fact that he had said that one last thing once more. Why, just why had he not just walked away?
"Calm down… he wants to speak to me alone, so he hasn't said anything to father or grandfather yet. I can still mislead him… I know! I'll play it off as a joke, as a you should've seen your face -kind of thing!" he suppresses a sigh of relief. As long as his acting skills were good enough, Ulrich would fall for it. The man usually saw through his lies, but this time, the lie was far more convincing than the truth, so he should be fine. He would be fine.
"What is it?" the soldier asks, trying to sound like he's not interested.
Ulrich frowns, saying: "You know what."
"Do I?" Nikolo asks, keeping his face bored. He had to time this right. Not yet… not yet…
"Now" he thinks before allowing the corner of his lips to twist upwards, hoping that he has managed to fake a smug smirk.
His brother narrows his eyes, and for once Nikolo can take it as a good sign. Allowing his smirk to turn in to a full grin, he says: "You should've seen your face back then!"
He laughs, hoping that he doesn't sound like he's faking it.
"C'mon, buy it" he thinks, his confidence wavering as Ulrich doesn't snap nor laugh along, simply staring at him with a frown on his face. Laughter stopping and smile dropping, the soldier says: "Alright, maybe it was a bad joke. Sorry."
"It was bad alright" Ulrich said "More so because I know when you're just joking around and when you said that, you definitely weren't."
Nikolo hoped his face didn't lose its color at that moment.
"Were too" he denied "Why would I have meant it?"
"You tell me" his brother said, lowering his voice "Nicky… what exactly happened to you on that island?"
Nikolo's mind went blank. When he came back, he thought out a few stories that would be safe to tell if his family wanted to know about his time in Paradis, but that was long ago. He no longer remembered what stories he'd chosen, and he doubted any of them were the kind of experiences Ulrich was asking about. Just what was he supposed to do now?
"Tell me the truth, little brother" Ulrich presses when he doesn't answer "Did they brainwash you?"
"More like they undid the brainwashing I'd received for as long as I can remember" Nikolo thought, but naturally, he couldn't say that… or could he? His goal was to lessen the negative opinions on Eldians. Now was the perfect chance to shape his brother's way of thinking.
"No" he answers "Not really, it's… it's not that simple."
He was stuttering, he noted, but he could do this. He could tell him.
"They just showed me things. You know… life. Life in Paradis, their life" he said "What do you think they do with their free time? Plan the destruction of the world 24/7?"
He paused, but Ulrich didn't answer, so he continued: "No, they don't. They just… live. Normal lives, just like the Eldians here, just like anyone here, just like you and me. They're people, Ulrich, they're humans."
Ulrich didn't answer, just stared at him with the same frown. Silence was never a good sign with him.
"Better stop here before I say too much" he knew he already might have, but what was done was done "I get it that it's hard to believe, but just think about it, alright? I'm not saying you have to agree with me; I'm just saying that I want you to know that things aren't always the way you think they are."
"You've lost your mind" Ulrich says after a long silence, making Nikolo sigh "Nicky- "
"I have not" Nikolo interrupts him "I understand why you think so, but that's not the case. You don't have to worry though; I won't do anything that would put our family at risk. So just… think about what I said. Try to keep an open mind. That's all I'm asking."
Ulrich stares, and at that moment, there's a lot Nikolo would be ready to give to know what's going through his mind.
"…Just promise me something, Nicky" he says, much to Nikolo's surprise "Don't do anything that would put you at risk, either."
Nikolo blinks in surprise. Perhaps he should've expected this, he tells himself. He knew his brother cared, just like he did, but sometimes it was easy to forget that they were old enough, mature enough, to admit that to each other.
"But if I promise that, I might not be able to keep it" the soldier thought. Was it appropriate to lie now?
"I'm a soldier, Ulrich; risks come with the job" was what he settled on "But I promise to be careful."
They stared each other down, and Nikolo noted that he didn't get that irresistible urge to back down that he used to. He felt sure of himself, no, what he stood for. Even if he lacked the courage to clearly express himself, he knew what he believed in, what was right. And when he did manage to gather his courage, he wouldn't back down.
"Something tells me we have very different ideas of careful" Ulrich said with a sigh "Guess I have to have faith in you for once; you're not a kid anymore. You… really are a soldier, aren't you?"
"Did the uniform give me away?"
Ulrich snorted, punching him in the shoulder.
"Smartass"
When his brother left, Nikolo was left to wonder if he'd been sincere. He sure hoped so, or he could be in trouble.
Big trouble.
XXXXX
"Out with it, Shitty Glasses" Levi commands "How bad is it?"
"The good news is that we aren't at the brink of war" the commander answers "The bad news is that, when it comes to Marley, we've taken some major steps backwards. Our base in Marley is a no go for at least another half a year, and if we don't come to some form of agreement with them soon, they might get rid of their own base here and draw back their soldiers."
Sasha groans, eyeing the people gathered in her hospital room. It was only the day after her wakening, two days after the fire, so Hanji had decided to have the emergency meeting in her room, for she was still bedridden. Easier for her, but she knew it made her look weak. Of course, most of those present had seen her in worse conditions, but the few MPs and Garrison officers…
"Is that really such a bad thing?" speaking of the MPs "We could just let them pull back until things calm down a little. Pressing them would only anger them, would it not?"
"If we allow Marley to pull back, others might get worried and turn their backs on us too, not to mention it would make creating new connections more difficult" Jean explained "If Marley retreats, our image as devils is sure to grow."
"Exactly" Hanji agreed "We need to convince Marley to continue working with us, even if some of our plans fall apart with this. The world listens to Marley. If we lose our weak alliance with them, we'll lose our connection to the world."
Sasha listened with rapt attention. So far everything was simple enough for her to understand, but despite having gotten better at politics over the years, she felt like they'd lose her at any moment. Still, that was no excuse to not listen.
"Then what do we do?" again, the MPs. Not that Sasha could really blame them, for she had no idea, either. And the others didn't seem to fare any better.
Biting her lip, Sasha tries to think. She was far from the smartest person in the room, though she did hope her intelligence topped those of the garrison present and perhaps the MPs as well, with the help of experience if nothing else, but if she could just come up with something…
"Think, Sasha, think!"
What could they do to fix this? What happened wasn't their side's fault, or at least so far there wasn't any proof that it was, but unless they could prove otherwise, Marley wouldn't accept the blame. Should they try to make this up to them somehow? But if they gave too much, there was a chance someone from Marley would do this again, not to mention they would look weak. Should they stand their ground and make Marley think that they didn't care if their deals broke?
"As much as I hate to suggest this" Jean starts after a long silence "I think that, in this situation, we should admit to our mistakes and ask for their continued help."
"What mistakes?" an MP voices Sasha's thought "We haven't done anything!"
"Can you say that with absolute certainty?" Jean asks, glaring at the man "It's true that the fire might've been an accident, or that a Marleyan set it, but unless we can prove it, they'll suspect us. So, we let them know that we acknowledge the fact that this might be our fault and that we keep our eyes open for anyone suspicious from our ranks."
"While subtly asking them to do so too for their own so that we don't seem too guilty" Hanji caught on, fixing her glasses "And we should be as humble as we can without completely losing our dignity as soldiers."
"Exactly" Jean confirms. Sasha nods along; so far, it was simple enough. They could do that, couldn't they?
"So basically, we just go and bow in front of those shit bags?" Levi seemed to object "You think that'll fix the situation?"
"Unless someone has a better idea, we go with that" Hanji says without missing a beat "Well?"
Sasha certainly didn't, and the others didn't seem to, either. She looks at Jean, who seems annoyed. At Levi or the situation, she isn't sure.
"Like I said, I don't like swallowing my pride, either" her friend says "But I prefer that over a possible war."
Levi sighs. He sounds tired.
"Point taken" he says "But I'm not doing it."
"Well Jean, guess it's you, me and the ground!" Hanji says, stretching "Hope you've practiced your acting."
The man groans in annoyance, making Sasha laugh. She's relieved, feeling sure that Hanji and Jean could fix this.
Everything was going to be alright.
