A few hours later…
Esinon tightened her grip on her lightsaber as she listened to the pounding of droid feet nearing her. She scanned the treeline, rage still boiling inside of her. It had been hours since Jayla had said all of those things but Esinon kept replaying it over and over in her mind, along with those final words.
'I need to figure this out on my own, without the council, and without you,' Esinon's fingers clenched even more tightly around the hilt of her saber, each of the small mechanical pieces and designs that stuck out from her saber digging into her palm. She could hear the sound of blasters clicking in the treeline. She ignited her blade, deflecting a bolt that came from the treeline. A barrage of red blaster bolts emerged from the trees as the true battle began, blue blaster bolts were released from her side and began reflecting the bolts, nailing droid after droid, watching the first wave fall under Republic fire. She fell to a graceful halt as the blaster fire stopped for a moment but the instant the battle quieted it resumed, destroyers rolled out from the treeline, unleashing a barrage of fire. Esinon leaped into action, rage fueling her movements as a bolt of lightning erupted from her fingertips. She landed in a crouch on top of a destroyer and drove her electrified fist straight through to the droid's core, she grabbed the top of the droid, and in an impressive show of strength, she hoisted the droid over her head, chucking into the three destroyers left, demolishing them all. Esinon let out another growl as she spotted Jayla across the battlefield, the same image of Ahsoka walking down the steps of the temple pounded in her mind.
Failure
Failure
Failure
You know she's right.
You aren't ready for this,
Pain, grief, and regret washed over her in unforgiving waves. She ignited her lightsaber, slicing through droid after droid in rapid succession, deflecting any blaster bolt that came near her. She was moving across the field in a rageful dance, destroying anything that came into her eye line, all she could see was red. The battle ended with smoke and few casualties.
Esinon finally slowed, her panting filling the hum of a dying battlefield.
She glanced up at Glitch who was a few feet away, she put a hand to her hip but then winced as her hand hit her side, she could feel something warm and sticky covering her fingers. She slowly shifted her gaze to her hand and side, she could see blood covering her hands and robes, the world started to spin,
"General!" Glitch shouted, and that was the last thing she heard before the world went dark.
A few hours later…
Esinon groaned as the thudding in her head finally brought her back to the land living.
"Easy there General, you've got a nasty shot wound," Heart advised as she tried to push herself up, the younger medic gently guided back down onto the pillows. Esinon glanced around to find herself in the medbay on the Duchess.
"What happened?" she asked, shifting on the bed and around her hospital gown to a more comfortable position.
"You got shot, clean entry and exit point," he said, so that explained the bandages around her abdomen.
"Did we win?" she asked groggily, Heart chuckled,
"Yeah, we won, General Archer is finishing up some last-minute stuff on-world, and then she'll be back," he explained, Esinon sighed,
"And she'll probably tell the council what a failure I am," she grumbled to herself, thankfully Heart didn't hear her. Esinon took a deep breath, trying to quell her rising anger, just at the thought of Jayla.
"If you don't need anything else, I'm going to go help Boomer tend to some of the other injured," Esinon nodded,
"I'm alright, thank you, Heart," the medic nodded before leaving and closing the curtain behind him. Esinon dragged hand down her face, tugging her hand slightly as tension built up in the tube attached to the IV in her hand. She let out a frustrated growl, maybe Jayla was right. Maybe she wasn't ready for this,
"Injured again little runner? You're starting to become just as reckless as Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon remarked from the corner of the room, Esinon winced as she sat up slightly to see the ghostly form of the old Jedi.
"Master Obi-Wan? Reckless? A word I would use to describe Anakin, not Master Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon chuckled, pulling up a chair next to her bed.
"Obi-Wan was just as reckless as you when he was your age," he said, Esinon sighed, sinking back into the pillows.
"Must have not felt the shot, I'm fine though, I've been shot before," she mumbled, Qui-Gon,
"Since you're in a reflective mood, it's time for a more forward approach. Esinon what's wrong, I could feel your blinding rage through that entire battle, what caused it?" Esinon sighed, falling silent hoping that Qui-Gon would leave her alone about it if she wouldn't say anything. She was an adult, and could handle this on her own, she didn't need anyone's help. "Esinon, you're not gonna shut me out. Just tell me what's going on, is it about Ahsoka? I kept getting flashes of her," Esinon grit her teeth.
"Normally I would be able to brush off what Jayla said, because normally when someone takes a lash at me, it's not true, and I know that, and I can move on. But this time was different because she was right. They only knighted me because they couldn't knight Ahsoka, I don't deserve this title, and it's only a matter of time before my men find out and abandon me." Qui-Gon stared at the ground for a moment as Esinon fell silent once again.
"Do you remember what Obi-Wan said to you on your first day as a padawan?" Qui-Gon asked,
"Keep my head down and stick close?" Qui-Gon chuckled,
"No, the part about the force,"
"That the force guides people together," she replied,
"The force guides many things in our lives, not only us but the people around us, the events that happen to us." he began, "And even though this may be hard to hear, Ahsoka is being guided down a different path than yours. Where you are right now, is exactly where you need to be. There's nowhere to go from here but forward."
"Forward, huh?" he nodded, Esinon stared up at the ceiling. "Do you think the force is still guiding Ahsoka?"
"Oh I know it is little runner, the force is watching over all of us," he replied,
"And do you think Jayla was guided into my life?" she asked, glancing over at Qui-Gon, the elder Jedi hummed,
"Yes, I do. I believe that there is something that Jayla can provide for you and that you can provide for Jayla. Remember, you're a gray Jedi, there is balance in everything." Esinon nodded,
"It seems harder to control my emotions ever since I became a gray," she murmured,
"Well, you aren't finding balance. With the Jedi, you were forced to keep all of your emotions quiet, but now that you don't have to follow that anymore, you seem to have swung to the other side of the spectrum where you are releasing all of your raw emotions, you aren't finding balance. And you need to work to achieve that, you may let your emotions go, but you must also not let your emotions cloud your judgment like it did today. You need to find a medium,"
"Even though I've been a gray Jedi for almost a year now, it still feels like I know nothing about my people, or their teachings even though I've read the books I scanned thousands of times. I wish there was someone who could teach me," she replied,
"I'm afraid I can only offer the barest of what I know little runner," Qui-Gon said,
"I mean there has to be some more gray Jedi somewhere," she said, "It's a big galaxy, I can't be the only one left," Qui-Gon put a hand over her free one,
"I think you may be the only one left little runner, gray Jedi haven't been seen for thousands of years. Most of the Jedi have forgotten their existence,"
"Well isn't that just wonderful," she grumbled,
"Sorry little runner," he replied,
"Should have seen that coming anyway, I guess I'll just have to pave my own way," she said,
"That's the spirit, I know you can do this little runner," Qui-Gon said, Esinon nodded,
"Thank you Qui-Gon," she said softly,
"Of course little runner, I'm always right here, whenever you need me," and with that, Qui-Gon's ghost faded out of the room.
A few weeks later…
Esinon walked down the hall sleepily, her hand outstretched for the blast door panel to the command center, and instead of reaching the pad a cup of caf was deposited into her hand instead. She glanced up to find Jax standing next to her,
"Late night?" he asked, Esinon nodded,
"Trying to get ready-" she yawned, "For the supply drop today. Also, you know this does nothing to me, right?" Jax shrugged,
"Maybe you can trick your brain?" Esinon glanced at the cup of caf and downed in one gulp. Jax sighed, "That's not what I meant, but ok."
"I'm still tired," Jax sighed, glancing down at his datapad,
"And it looks like you don't have time for a nap in your schedule today, not that you'd take one anyways." Esinon gave a nod of acceptance,
"Alright, let's get our daily judgment from Admiral Sabella and then we can maybe find some peace and quiet in the hanger," she said, Jax chuckled,
"Peace and quiet is not something I associate with the hanger," he said, Esinon shrugged,
"If I can get into my ship, I will take nap, because I know me actually sleeping makes you happy,"
"It does indeed sir because for once you are taking care of yourself," he said, Esinon chuckled,
"Just make sure Bo doesn't find me or he'll become Mr. Grumpy pants again," Jax cocked his head,
"That does sound like Bo," he conceded, "I'll try and find you some cover," Esinon gave a nod of thanks as they entered the command center.
A few hours later…
Esinon blinked her eyes open, glancing groggily at the hanger below through the hatch of her starfighter. So Jax had bought her a few hours, she was surprised that she hadn't been awakened by the normal clamor of the hangar, guess she had been more tired than she thought. She scanned the troopers going about their business below, looked like Bo was nowhere to be found, hopefully, she could slip out and to her office before anyone took serious notice of her absence. She climbed out of her fighter, slipping into the background and passing by some crates.
She was about to keep going when a particular object caught her attention, a leather-bound journal was sitting on top of a crate. She paused debating whether or not to investigate further, eventually, her curiosity got the better of her and she grabbed the journal off the crate. She sat down on the crate, crossing her legs and opening the journal. She looked for a name but found nothing, she flipped another page in the thick journal and found a stunning watercolor painting. It was her. Someone had painted her, she was standing in the command center, a single beam of light descending upon her. She looked regal standing there, far more regal than she thought she ever did. She ran her fingers over the course paper, admiring the painting. A black splotch towards the bottom caught her eye, in fact, it wasn't a splotch at all, it was a name.
A jolt of excitement ran through her as she examined it further,
Valhalla. That was the artist's name, Valhalla. She flipped through a few more paintings before pulling a piece of flimsi out of her pocket and scribbled down a note on it.
Come to my office, I really like your work a lot and I think I can help you create something on a larger scale if you'd like that.
-General Windcaster
She closed the journal with the note tucked inside and headed back towards her office, in the hopes that Valhalla would come and find her because she had big plans for his talent if he wanted to use it.
A few hours later…
"Did you find it?" Nico asked as he poked his head around a corner and spotted Valhalla holding up his journal.
"Yup, right where I left it, glad it wasn't gone," he replied, Valhalla tucked the journal into his belt and followed after Nico back to their barracks. He climbed up onto the top bunk, flipping his short dreadlocks out of his face. He stuffed his hand down into the crevice between his bunk and the wall, pulling out a set of watercolor paints. He then held out his hand towards Nico who deposited a canteen of water into it,
"Don't get too wrapped up in that painting of yours, I think we have training soon," Nico said, Valhalla gave an absent-minded nod as he dipped one of his few brushes into the water and then dipped it into blue paint. "Did you hear me, Val?"
"Yup, don't get too wrapped up because we have to go hit things soon, got it," Nico chuckled,
"I'm going to go check in with Lake, I'll be back later," Valhalla nodded again, as Nico patted his foot on his way out. Valhalla, lifted up his journal to inspect his work so far when a slip of flimsi fell out of the front of the journal. He stared at it curiously for a moment before setting his journal down and grabbing the flimsi. He opened it to find a note written on the inside, his heart skipped a beat for a moment. He hurriedly put away his painting supplies and sprinted down to General Windcaster's office, he skidded to a halt in front of the door and hurriedly knocked on it.
"Come in!" she called from the other side of the door, Valhalla opened the blast door and found her sitting on the other side of her desk. "Valhalla, hi! I was hoping you'd come and see me,"
"Um, well I- General, I found this note in my journal and I-"
"Yeah, here, I was thinking," she began, getting up from behind her desk and motioning for him to follow her, and he did, getting increasingly more nervous as he followed after his General. He was wondering if he was about to get in trouble for his art, she didn't seem that strict but he never knew. Clones were supposed to not have creative freedoms, well as far the Kaminoans were concerned. They finally came to a halt in an empty hallway. Valhalla had to stumble around her to keep from falling on top of her. He glanced down to see a stack of paintbrushes and some cans of paints, "the walls on the Duchess are really bland and depressing. And since you're art is absolutely stunning I thought you might want to paint here-"
"Yes!" Valhalla exclaimed without thinking, he instantly snapped his mouth shut, "Sorry sir," She chuckled,
"It's alright, I'm glad you're excited, I can't wait to see what you paint,"
"Thank you sir," he said, saluting her, she gave him a brief nod before walking back towards her office. Valhalla cracked open the cans of paint, he only had primary colors but that was all he needed. He sat down and set to work.
A few hours later…
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Glitch murmured staring up at the mural, it was a gorgeous painting of mountains and a forest on fire. Above that there was a ghostly woman, she was opening her arms welcomingly to the ghosts of clone troopers marching towards her. At the bottom of the painting were the words, 'Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls,'
"Yeah," Spitfire replied, "I wonder who painted it, or how,"
"Do you think General Windcaster knows?" Glitch asked,
"I think she's probably the one behind it," he replied, he glanced in the bottom right corner of the mural to see a name written out in beautiful calligraphy. Valhalla. Spitfire chuckled, "I thought that might be his handiwork,"
"Who?" Glitch asked curiously,
"This trooper I met during training, Valhalla. He painted that one famous painting on his armor, starry night I think it's called. He's always gushing over photos of old paintings, reminds me of Cam. Got a big brain that one,"
"Spitfire…" Glitch began hesitantly, "Who's Cam?" Spitfire sighed,
"Kid I knew back with Mundi," he said, "He was my best friend,"
"Is he…" Glitch started softly but broke off at the end, Spitfire shook his head,
"I don't know," Spitfire said after a harsh breath, "I can't get ahold of him," Glitch slid closer to his brother, wrapping an arm around him and Spitfire tucked his head under Glitch's chin.
"I'm sure we'll find a way to contact him," he reassured, Spitfire chuckled,
"Still ever the optimist aren't you," he murmured, Glitch hugged Spitfire a little closer,
"Someone has too,"
Ok, so I'm being realistic here and Junior year is kicking my butt. Plus with all this Covid stuff, motivation is not very high right now. My point is that I think my chapters are going to start being a little short that way I can get more stuff out on time. Thank you for sticking around anyways, it really means a lot.
On a more positive note, I finished Legend of Korra and lemme say, very satisfying series all the way through. (I love old Zuko too, like he's run out of craps to give, and I loved when he was just sitting in some rinky-dink restaurant with Lin and Tonraq, and he just parked his dragon outside. Ya know, normal former firelord stuff)
Next up on let's make this canon corner: Kaminoans: Jedi don't form attachments so don't expect them to become fond of you
Esinon's gray Jedi-ness: I KRIFFING LOVE YOU GUYS! WHOOOOOO
Thank you for reading and make sure to leave a review!
