It was a joyous reunion. The men in Uden were glad to see their buddies back in one piece. Even though it was still raining, morale was lifted at the sight of friends greeting each other. Of course, Dallin's reception was mixed. Though most were more than happy to see her, a few were angry and disappointed that she left. As expected, Toye gave her hell. She had to stand and take his yelling, while he vented and expressed his worry, disappointment and anger. When Toye stopped to take a breath, Dallin spoke up;
"sorry".
He sighed heavily, shaking his head;
"you're damn fucking right you're sorry".
"Are you…going to stop yelling now, Joe?" She asked him quietly.
And just like that, his expression changed.
Toye nodded, feeling too tired to yell;
"uh…Winters wants to see you".
Her insides squirmed;
"oh…".
"Yeah…and he's not happy, kid". He warned her, with a tiny frown. "Just stand there and take it all in, alright? Then come back out and we can have a smoke".
Dallin didn't like that her hands felt warm and clammy.
Giving her squad leader a sharp nod, she mumbled;
"yes…fine, Joe".
With a tight smile, he gave her shoulder a clap;
"go get 'um tiger".
Dallin expected to be yelled at once again and she was right, only, it hurt more coming from Winters. She hated to disappointed Toye but after everything the Captain had done for her, disappointing Winters left her feeling heavy with guilt. And it wasn't even like Winters was yelling at her, he had raised his voice, but it was so firm and laced with emotion, that it tore her down to the ground.
"You do not abandon your post, Private". Winters firmly told her, "and you do not abandon your Company!"
Dallin flinched at that.
She flinched very visibly. Because she didn't feel as though she did abandon her friends. If anything, she might have helped, even just a little. But Dallin knew her place, she was a Private in the army, she wasn't permitted to talk back. However, Winters was a fair man and a fair officer. When he saw her flinch, he lowered his voice and asked;
"what is it?"
Rubbing her lips together, she shook her head and mumbled;
"nothing…sir".
But he sighed;
"no, tell me, Dill. You've always been extremely honest and often blunt".
Shaking her head again, Dallin whispered;
"no, sir…I stand here and take the hell, sir. I do not…give my feelings".
A moment of silence went by. Winters could hear splatters of rain hit the glass window inside the Oer's home. With another small sigh, he crouched a little and said;
"I understand that you act on feelings, trooper but…you have to start listening to your gut and your head. It's trying to keep you alive. And I'm trying to keep you alive".
"We lose…so many, sir". Dallin said, "I wanted to…keep our friends alive".
With a frown, he nodded;
"I know you did". He said, "but they too, 'wanna keep you alive, Dill".
With a tiny nod, Dallin managed to look him in the eye;
"I did not abandon my friends, sir".
Clearing his throat, Winters straightened himself back up;
"but you abandoned your order here…and the men here".
It had been a very tiring and stressful couple of days for Dallin. For everyone. The men felt it, especially those who had come back from Veghel. She was feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and so sick of Holland already. For such a short space of time, they had already done so much.
She almost snapped.
But bit her tongue.
Dallin nodded, not accepting his words but wanting to drop the matter. She wanted to head back outside and join Toye for that smoke. She wanted to see that her friends were safely digging themselves a foxhole for the night. She needed to see that they were alright. Dallin frowned at her boots.
And she thought back to Meth.
The kid who just wanted to go home.
Dallin saw her younger self in him when all she wanted to do was to go home. But now, she was frightened of Poland. Scared of what had become of her country. It might have been like Holland, but she couldn't imagine her people humiliating women like that on the streets. And she couldn't imagine the allies jumping in to liberate them.
When her shoulders dropped, so did her heart.
Her hand shook, while it reached up to her eyes.
Dallin rubbed the space between her eyebrows.
She felt older than twenty-one, her body and mind no longer felt youthful. Dallin had some moments with Easy where she felt young again, like a free spirit. But those moments were short-lived because war was longer. Once again, Dallin wished to pause time, just so they could all get a short break. Even if it was just two more hours of sleep at night, or a chance to sit down and eat a hot meal without the threat of an attack.
"You abandoned the men here".
His words echoed in her head, like torture.
Dallin's stomach hurt with guilt.
She let him down.
And she let Easy down.
…
"Where you going? China?"
Dallin looked up from the foxhole she was digging;
"no, Chuck…I dig in".
With a tiny snort, he commented;
"yeah, I can see that…Veghel got you a little…paranoid?"
"Hey!" Guarnere called from behind them, "you'd get paranoid too, Chuck".
"Yeah, we took one hell of a shelling". Malarkey added quietly.
Nodding, Grant said;
"pretty deep, Dill…don't use up all your strength, huh?"
When he walked off, Campbell jumped in the foxhole and almost broke his ankle;
"Jesus, Dill!" He exclaimed, "how deep is this damn foxhole?"
She looked up at him;
"very". She simply replied, "where did…you go?"
Shaking his head, Campbell sat down and tugged on the corners of his poncho;
"checking in on the guys with Joe". He said, "he's not mad at you anymore".
"Yes, I know…he tells me". She mumbled, "we have smoke together…after Winters talks with me".
Campbell grimaced;
"what'd the Captain say?"
Dallin sighed;
"a lot…I do not want to talk about that".
He shrugged;
"it's alright, pal…we don't have to".
Putting her entrenching tool away, Dallin sat down next to the Corporal and tucked herself into her poncho. It hadn't stopped raining. Very quickly, the foxhole would fill up with water and the mud would turn soft and slippery. It rained a lot in Holland, Dallin noticed. Reaching into her musette bag, she brought out a packet of crackers;
"would you like some?"
Campbell looked at her.
Dallin shrugged;
"you run out, yes?"
He smiled and took two crackers;
"thanks, Dill-"
"no, take two more". She told him off, "I have four…you have four…we share".
Campbell huffed out a tiny laugh and took another two;
"you're too kind".
Shaking her head, she mumbled;
"no…I just keep you healthy, Jim. You are father and husband; you need to be well".
"I'm neither of those things out here, pal". He reminded her softly, "I'm a Paratrooper, just like you and everyone else around us".
The pair of them nibbled on their crackers, savouring every last, dry bite. Crackers tasted of nothing, but it gave Dallin the feeling of being full. Besides, she liked them better than whatever was inside of a ration can. It was quiet around them. Men had settled down into their foxholes, trying to catch some sleep while they could. Dallin's stomach was screaming for fuel, so, she filled the tank before catching a few winks.
Reaching for her canteen, she opened it up and cursed in Polish.
Campbell looked down at her;
"what?"
Sighing, she screwed the cap back on;
"run out of water…I get some more".
"Oh, don't bother…have some of mine".
"Nie…keep yours". Dallin grabbed a hold of the top of the hole, "I get more, Jim".
The enlisted had a pump as their source of water but D Company was hogging that pump. Not wanting to wait around in a line, Dallin decided to try her luck inside one of the farmhouses, where she knew Lieutenant's Peacock and Shames were billeted. Knocking on the door first, she poked her head inside. She was surprised to see Webster there, but that surprise soon turned into anger, when she saw what he was doing. Shaking her head, she quietly walked over to him and hissed;
"he has you sweeping floors, David?"
Webster didn't look as pissed off as Dallin felt.
In fact, he looked tired and miserable.
Shaking his head, he continued to sweep the floor with the broom;
"it's fine, Dallin".
"Fucking shit…it's not fine". She whispered, "you look…very tired".
Webster sighed;
"yeah…well…we did just come from Veghel. Not much sleeping there, right?"
Gritting her teeth, she quietly demanded;
"give me broom…go to bed…fuck Peacock".
Webster raised his eyebrow and looked at her;
"we shouldn't trade, Dill…we'll both get into trouble".
And then added;
"and…don't just say, fuck Peacock…because that sounds all kinds of wrong. Maybe try, fuck what he has to say or-"
"I tell him I threaten you".
He almost laughed;
"to sweep the floors?"
Dallin shrugged;
"maybe…I fall in love with sweeping floors and broom".
That time, Webster did chuckle quietly;
"you're still weird, Dill".
With a soft smile, Dallin told him;
"you sleep, Web…it's okay, I promise".
Webster looked extremely grateful and he was more than happy to give her that broom. She smiled more at the look of delight on his face. And, before he left, Webster gave her a one-armed hug;
"thanks, Dallin".
She hummed and nodded;
"yes…goodnight, Web".
When her friend left the farmhouse, Dallin swept the floor. And, just to further piss Peacock off, she whistled. He wasn't her favourite officer. She figured he tried hard, but the men didn't have enough respect for him. Dallin didn't like the way he treated the enlisted, especially Webster. Sobel never singled a man out, but Peacock did. And that was far from fair.
"Private!" Peacock yelled, "Webster! Stop that annoying…".
But when he reached the hallway, Peacock stopped talking.
And he stared at Dallin, confused.
She continued to sweep. Acting as if nothing was going on.
Pulling a face, Peacock regained his composer and demanded;
"where the hell is Webster, Private?!"
She shrugged;
"I do not know, sir".
"What do you mean?!" He barked, "I ordered him to sweep the house! Where did he go?!"
"Oh, I take over, sir". Dallin told him lightly.
Peacock couldn't believe it;
"why?!" He snapped, "this was not your order, Private Gorski!"
"Actually…I come here for water, sir". She said softly, "line for pump…it's too long. And I want to use your water, sir".
Peacock blinked a few times.
"Uh…well…you-"
"but then I see Web, sir". She continued, "sweeping floors with broom…I tell him to give me broom, I sweep the floors now".
The Lieutenant was baffled again, perhaps even more than before.
"I pull out rifle on him…force him to drop the broom, sir". Dallin said, "I love to sweep floors, sir".
Peacock slowly backed away from Dallin.
His hand reached for the handle, which led into a sitting room;
"okay, Private". He said, "you – uh – you can sweep the floors".
Dallin nodded;
"yes…and I use tap for water after, sir?"
He nodded quickly;
"fine – sure, whatever…just…leave in ten minutes".
She smiled;
"yes…okay, sir".
When he left the hallway, Dallin snorted and shook her head.
She did a poor job on the floors and used the tap in the kitchen to fill her canteen up with cold water. Leaving the farmhouse, Dallin made it safely back to the foxhole, only to find Campbell in a light sleep. When she jumped down, he opened one eye asked;
"where have you been?"
After taking a drink of water, she shrugged and replied;
"I get…held up in long line".
Campbell yawned and closed his eye again;
"yeah…could have just used the officer's water".
With a tiny smile, Dallin mumbled;
"yes…I wish I think of that earlier".
…
It was very early when Guarnere woke 2nd Platoon up.
When Dallin checked her watch, it was only twenty minutes past four. Giving her head a tiny shake and her eyes a rub, she pulled off her poncho and collected her gear, all the while trying to ignore the cold rain practically drowning her. They were on the move once again. With her morning cigarette lit, their Platoon Sergeant gave them the news;
"Krauts have cut the highway again. South of Veghel. We're attacking at 0830, we're Regimental reserve. Leaving here in twenty".
It wasn't the news they had hoped for.
Because the Germans had cut the highway, yet again. And they had to go back out there to push the enemy back. With an idea of what they were facing, Dallin shuddered. Her stomach felt tight with nausea and her body shook under the rain from fear and adrenaline. Turning to Toye, she told him;
"I…don't like this, Joe".
"Me neither". He admitted quietly, "but it's an order…we don't got a choice, kid".
Looking down at her, Toye asked;
"you get the name of those Limeys who jumped you?"
She scratched her ear;
"I…jump him first".
He pulled a face;
"why?"
"Because…they insult me and my people…I stick up for them".
Toye couldn't argue with that;
"alright…I'm glad you stuck up for yourself, kid". He mumbled, "just next time, don't be a fucking idiot and run off with a damn dislocated shoulder, huh?"
Her lips twitched. And she nodded.
Toye tossed his arm around her shoulders;
"listen…you're a good kid, alright? You just wanted to bring our buddies to Uden and get them away from a serious ass licking in Veghel…".
Pulling a face, Dallin looked up at him;
"licking?"
He sighed;
"I meant kicking…I'm fucking tired, alright? Heads not on this morning…too damn early".
Dallin looked around at the weary soaked men, who were gathering their gear and having that last smoke before another fight. With Buck out of action, Guarnere was calling the shots for their Platoon because no one liked Buck's replacement. He looked very skittish.
"We listen to Bill today, yes?" She mumbled to Toye, who nodded.
"Yup". He agreed, "fuck what this new guy has to say".
"He looks…breakable".
"Yeah…". Toye sighed and brought out a cigarette, "you want one?"
Looking up at him, she shook her head and mumbled;
"your cigarettes still taste like cat piss".
