Happy New Year!
Thank you so much for your reviews and encouragement! My resolution is to finish this story this year. Fingers crossed.
Chapter 29: Every Relationship Needs Work
by lightpathetic
ZERO CAME AWAKE TO a wall of warmth at his back and an arm flung possessively across him. This was not unusual in itself, given how familiar he and his brother were and he thought to drift right back to sleep as the stillness and gloom of the day gave him to believe it was still very early. However, as he reached to adjust the arm to shift position, he noticed its wiry sinews, the coarser texture of the fine hairs along it and the raised scar along the elbow. He realised…
"Kanam…!"
It was a gasp, abbreviated quickly, as he became aware of his regular audible breaths. He was fast asleep. He'd no idea how long he'd been there. Zero slid forward to give himself room to carefully lie on his back and turn to look at him, not wanting to disturb his sleep but aching to see him.
"Kaname."
Zero whispered this into his hair as he'd leaned in to inhale. He'd showered before bed, he realized, his hair and skin smelling of sandalwood scented soap. But Zero noticed the slight scent of smoke and diesel, the soft notes of sweat near his ears and that smell of muskiness that was all him. He loved that scent and sought it greedily once found. He was coming awake now in all sorts of ways… but he wouldn't disturb him. He noticed Kaname was almost comatose. He must be exhausted.
Zero closed his eyes as a sense of calm contentment spread over him as he settled again, keeping Kaname's arm over his chest, treasuring each breath on his shoulder until…
"OH. HI, KANAME. GOOD MORNING."
"You don't seem at all surprised to see me."
"That happened when I tried to roll over last night. You should have seen it. I'd nearly cleared my shorts I was so surpri…"
"I arrived in the wee hours," Kaname interrupted, his disappointment not bearing well the youth's teasing. "I didn't want to wake you but I couldn't wait until the morning to see you."
"Kaname. It's okay, Kaname." Zero caught himself saying his name, repeating it, his happiness spilling over each time. It had been too long since they'd last seen him. They knew he had visited his offices, their mother, briefly, weeks ago and their last call was around that same period. They were beginning to wonder at their being abandoned, whether his regard was still the same… Now, out of the blue, here he was.
As mentioned, Zero had caught himself but his eyes betrayed him, devouring the brunette greedily. Kaname was more or less in intact but Zero noticed a fresh injury on his forearm, a bruise on his jaw. He traced them with his fingers worriedly before making the query with his eyes.
Kaname, however, ignored it and moved to cover the youth's body with his own now that he felt assured of his welcome. He'll always have doubts, he knew, given their peculiar relationship. And it didn't help his being away so much, which he had warned them would happen, he'd told himself. But it seemed to make their intimacy all that more precious to him, made him cherish what they did have. He leaned his forehead to Zero's and smiled into his troubled gaze. It was all there, in that moment. What really mattered in their unusual affair.
"Welcome home, Kaname." Zero smiled back, feeling every bit of the assurance being given.
"Glad to be home, Zero."
With that Kaname lowered his lips and joined theirs in a kiss.
It was much later before Kaname said anything coherent again, lying on Zero's chest, their passion a memory of sweetly throbbing muscles and flesh, deliberate intakes of soothing breath. Zero absently wondered if Ichiru was still asleep after all that or merely pretending to be.
"How long are you staying?"
Zero held his breath at the usual pause. Kaname didn't always answer yet he needed to know how long before…
"… A few days, Zero. I shouldn't even be here but I wanted…"
"What, Kaname?"
Kaname rolled his head and nuzzled Zero's tanned chest at the mention of his name, pressing his lips against one puckered nipple on one generous pectoral. Zero was back to his usual self, he noticed. Sun-kissed and muscular.
He only had his guilty pleasures when he was away fighting: his brief calls and his reports. News of farm management, supplies and… their activities. He could almost imagine being there, watching them rake hay, train horses, deliver animals. Sneak off to some adventure on the farm he was disappointed to not be privy to but he'd told himself it was harmless and fun given the isolation, perhaps frolicking naked in the river or on the seashore, sweating in the ever-present sun as he shivered in a hastily prepared tent on the Front or sheltered in a bunker that constantly dusted his binder with dirt due to the shelling. He moaned in a type of rapture now as he teased the desperate fantasy made flesh, raking the youth's nipple with his teeth as Zero shifted tellingly. He felt so happy, so close, so safe in that moment. He would gladly stay here in his arms and forget everything else. He didn't need anything else. Why even bother to…?
"Actually, I came to talk to you... about us."
It was all related. He had to remember that. It was all or nothing.
Zero was flung out of the lethargy that had claimed him ever since they had found what he thought was an ingenious position to watch Kaname very audibly lose his mind in the grip of such ecstasy all before he, himself collapsed onto him, his breaths harsh against his damp skin, his hands running along his legs as he paid him his gratitude, particularly at his physical dexterity. He had been also very contented, savouring his proximity, completely subject to this sexy brunette's spell, when his heart began to pound audibly at his words.
Kaname sighed in some regret but got onto his elbows to meet his eyes. Zero was afraid of what he'll say. Still. After the way they had made love… He hated the lack of trust between them, even if he supposed he could understand it.
"Is there nothing I can do to prove to you that I'd rather die than hurt any of you?"
Zero exhaled in exasperation and avoided his gaze. Did he really think they should depend on his love? Yuuki's warning was still fresh in his mind…
"It's not you, Kaname. In my experience, 'we need to talk' has never resulted in anything good."
"Do you mean your vast experience with life?" Kaname teased, tickling his earlobe.
"More like with breakups."
Kaname's face fell at this. He rolled to sit up, backing Zero for a moment's respite to gather his thoughts. Zero watched him carefully, hardly seeing the mosaic of scars but eventually noticing his muscular back, the tempting swell of his behind, the telling results of their lovemaking that still clung to his skin. Zero reached out to touch him, tracing the moist evidence that marked him, indulging in the memory of his carnal "victory" again as he replayed Kaname's shuddering, hot capitulation that ignited his own…
"There's… something I need to do. It will change the course of the war and, perhaps, end the conflict on the Western Front but I need… your help to do it."
"Mine? Why mine?"
Zero was well puzzled and not a little appalled. It showed.
Kaname turned and gave him a stern side-eye but he was not offended. He knew well where they stood, hence they being marooned out here and their mother carefully watched in the Capital. To keep them out of trouble. He eventually turned fully to face him, quite reluctantly as Zero had been tracing his back and Kaname was likewise steeped in the memory of how Zero had conquered him, as it were. He had long come to terms with the perversity of adoring the feeling of being dominated by these people. And Zero's evident savouring of this occurrence…well, Kaname had had to drag his mind away from his body readying for round two and to the task at hand. It had to be done. It was part of his perversity, he supposed.
"I don't know if you recall but… I'd made you a promise... No, actually, I'd also made up my own mind that I would do nothing to hurt this family or cause distrust. It's very important to me that we can rely on each other. And even though there has been many… challenges… Understandable challenges," Kaname added, noticing Zero noticed his censure. "I think, for the most part, we've all done our best to honour what we have.
"However, an opportunity has presented itself that could change everything. And, I would be a fool not to take it…"
"What are you talking about, Kaname?"
Kaname felt the desire for the first time in a long time to back away from a confrontation but he forced himself on, taking one of Zero's hands into his own. He met his eyes willing him to understand, his lips parting but, for a moment, he couldn't find the words to…
"I think I see. There's someone else."
Zero yanked his hand from Kaname's grasp and rolled away to sit up at the edge of the bed. Kaname closed his eyes in relief. There…
"Let me explain. It's to do with strategy…"
"Kaname, there is no need to explain…"
"Yes, there is. Of course, there is..."
"There is no need. It was just an affair. Nothing more. You shouldn't worry about it.…"
"I'm sorry?" Kaname was forced from his spiral of trepidation by this unthinkable utterance. "I don't think we're talking about the same thing…"
"Of course, we are. God, I thought you were about to announce a terminal illness! You needn't be so serious. Just tell us what happens now…"
"What do you mean? I really don't understand…"
He didn't.
"Why are you being so thick?" Zero snapped, quite unable to take being part of a "goodbye fuck" when he wasn't in on the "joke". "Is he or she or they coming to live here instead? What happens to us, Kaname? Are we free to go? Or is it the camps again?"
"The camps…?" Kaname repeated stupidly before something dropped in his mind. "Oh my God…"
Zero looked around for something heavy to throw as Kaname covered his face and chortled. He peeped from his fingers and sobered as he noticed Zero's thunderous expression.
"You've got the wrong idea, Zero!"
"Really? How so?" His brow soon cleared, however, as he realised this twit was… "Oh no. You can't mean…" Zero paced for a moment to gain a coherent word through his temper. "Certainly, you're not thinking of keeping us as well?!"
"Zero, if you would let me explain…"
"Explain what? That you intend to keep several households of slaves to your every whim?!"
"Really? Is that what you think you are?"
"I am not staying! Do you hear me? Fuck you! I don't care what you think you have a right to do…!"
"Zero, you are blowing this all out of proportion. Sit down and…"
"No! Now get out!"
"No! You are going to listen to me! I had no intention of giving you up or fucking blowing up my entire fucking life when I came here! I just wanted to tell you…"
"And I am telling you there is no need! We're here at the Leaders' pleasure, after all. Do what you want."
"God, that's low…" Kaname seethed, his temper at full blaze. He could gleefully strangle a certain silver-haired lover…
"It's worse that low. It's the truth!"
"That's what I get for loving a child. Childish responses!"
"Oh, fuck off…"
Zero grabbed his boxers from the floor and shoved his feet into them at great peril to the fabric. Kaname got to his knees and walked to the edge of the bed before gaining the floor and closing the space between him and the youth snatching a robe from the back of the chair.
"You're furious," Kaname spat, grabbing the boy and turning him to face him. "Can't you guess why?"
"Leave me alone! I don't care who you bed. Maybe they can get you to let us go…"
"Spoken like a true brat…!"
"Fuck you!"
"A scared little brat. What's making you nuts is that you're afraid to admit what you really want. So much in this world is there to be taken if you just have courage. Like me. Do it. See what happens instead if you just fight for me…"
"Stop it!" Zero cried, incensed by the "playful" slaps to his face. "Let me go!"
Zero pushed past Kaname, but the older man grabbed him from behind and rolled around him smoothly to make him face him again, pulling Zero into him. Kaname clearly was in the mood to press his advantage and toy with him. He didn't grasp that Zero's concerns were real or that what he'd said could be harrowing to someone in Zero's position.
"Do it. Say it. 'You're mine, Kaname'."
"Fuck you!"
Kaname ignored Zero's struggles and clung to him, pressing their hips together, their loins meshing, his own reacting greedily to their contact. He was full of love and still heady from being made love to, certain Zero's was merely a jealous anger. So, it was startling when Zero shoved him away with considerable animosity onto the bed.
"Why should I, huh? Why? Do you really think I have to sell myself short to demand the scraps of your attention? What makes you think I don't have options too? I'm telling you you're free to take up with whomever you want and leave me alone!"
Kaname let him be then, becoming very still as Zero headed to the bathroom. Zero fully expected the brunette to actually leave or change beds. Ichiru was conveniently housed next door, after all, a state they had maintained even as the Second Leader had left them, it seemed, to their own devices ages ago. Their rooms were comfortable, newly and lavishly renovated, nicely located on the first floor and adjoining. They did become annoyed at the second dictator's forethought when they thought to rebel by moving out of the apartment, only to have the date of their revolution pushed further and further away after the contemplation of the numerous decidedly insurmountable faults of the other locations and of having to move their belongings from the walk-in closets with multiple angled mirrors and generous shelving...
Essentially, Ichiru was there, next door, to sooth the brunette's ego if he couldn't be bothered to. The nerve of him to accept this declaration or expect him to beg…
"I guess I can understand your anger now. Forgive me for my assumptions about us... I take it there is a comparable rival for your affections? You're thinking of Yuuki, perhaps?"
Zero was at the door to the en suite, ready to go in but… Kaname's tone stopped him cold. Almost literally. He could swear there was a marked chill to the air as his skin was overcome by goosebumps. Zero was snatched away to that day in the café. When Kaname had seemed capable of anything. Even…
"I did suspect as much, Zero. I did. But, as you both had given me your assurances, I stayed my hand. Clearly that had been a mistake…"
"I don't know..." Zero croaked, his throat's suddenly devoid of moisture. He half-turned to ascertain the brunette's whereabouts in the periphery of his gaze but he was too scared to meet his eyes. "What… What do you mean?"
"You know me too well to ask, Zero. You've threatened me with the only thing that you knew I would take seriously. The only question now is what to do about it. Or, should I say, her…"
"Now who's being childish, Kaname?" Zero scoffed, finally facing him, mustering the courage to bluff. "Like you would da…"
"'Dare'!? Now, now, Zero, I'm… very disappointed to realize that you don't know me at all."
At this point, Zero got to watch in horror as Kaname marched over to the telephone and lifted the receiver, a look of cold determination on his face as he dialled. He did nothing, however, when a pair of fingers appeared on the cradle and ended the call.
"What's the matter, Zero? Haven't you the guts to see out consequences of your threat?"
There was a tense silence as the men stared at each other, the ominous portent seeping into the unspoken dialogue between them.
"Kaname, this is crazy," Zero tried again. "I didn't mean to…!"
"Then you shouldn't say such things to me!" Kaname growled, finally cracking, slamming the receiver into the slender antique table and breaking them both. "You seriously underestimate me if you think I will simply put up with such shenanigans! I allow you all a lot of latitude when it comes to me but when you deal with me you need to understand one thing, Zero: I have no qualms about doing whatever it takes to protect and keep what's mine. None whatsoever. And you all are mine, Zero, body and soul."
Zero felt frozen, trapped, where he was. He had no answer to when Kaname pulled this shit. It was like being stalked by a wild animal. God, would he really kill the Supreme Leader over a bit of tail?
"You misunderstood, Kaname. I didn't intend to threaten you…"
"Then start over," Kaname ordered, suddenly calm again, going close and searching the youth's face. "Tell me what 'options' you were referring to."
Like he would now… if he'd had any others. Zero felt very silly. He did mean to throw Yuuki in his face. It had hitherto been useful playing them off each other. They should have known Kaname wouldn't have tolerated it much longer. Would he really…? Was Kaname far more dangerous than they'd realised?
Zero shook his head and moved away from Kaname's merciless gaze. He made fists in the pockets of his robe to hide the fact he was trembling.
"Forget it. I'm going... to take a shower..."
"Wait, Zero. Come here."
Zero stopped at this. His tone was different. Like he'd just remembered how young Zero was or that he'd decided the boy had indeed been bluffing. Zero was again in the doorway to the bathroom but did nothing more, not sure he wouldn't do or say anything to set him off.
So, it was really startling when Kaname came to him and slowly backed him up against the doorjamb. He watched Zero's terrified eyes for what seemed like an eternity before taking his right hand in his and bringing it up to his face, nuzzling it greedily before leaning his head into Zero's neck. It was an act of contrition. A plea for forgiveness. Zero closed his eyes and leaned his head back onto the door's frame, not quite believing his life right now.
"I was scared," Kaname whispered into his neck. "I'm no good when I'm scared. Please…"
Zero exhaled the breath he'd been holding and enveloped him into an embrace, bringing his cheek to his head. Kaname dissolved against him.
"I love you. I don't know what I would do if…"
"Shhh, Kaname. It's okay. It's alright."
"HELLO?"
"Wake up, sleepyhead."
Shizuka rolled over in her bed and squinted at the clock. It was sixteen minutes to four o'clock in the morning. She could admit that there were worse ways to wake up than to the timbre of a sexy whispering baritone in your ear, but still…
"Kaname? What is it? Is something wrong?"
"No. Nothing is wrong, Shizuka. I was calling on another matter and thought I would speak to you as well.
"How are you?"
Shizuka lay back onto the pillows and closed her eyes, her sleepiness still claiming her at this hour. They really tried to understand the hours Kaname kept and his need to reach out to them when he could, so she adjusted the phone to her ear and hoped she could maintain just enough wakefulness to converse but not too much she wouldn't doze off when he hung up. They were all fairly adept at this condition, if Kaname was in the mood to let them enter it, that is.
"I'm fine, Kaname. Just looking forward to seeing my sons…"
"You're just trying to provoke me, Shizuka. You speak to them multiple times a day and I understand you've been very busy without them."
"That's not the point. I've requested an aircraft many times to…"
"I cannot spare any."
"I don't believe you, Kaname."
Neither raised their voices during this exchange, this time. It was a well-worn topic by now.
"You'll return when I do. Which… will be soon."
Shizuka made a rather unladylike noise just before she yawned. Kaname got the message that he was not believed.
"I'll be there next week and…"
"Yes?" Shizuka prompted, rolling to her side away from the windows. A light was now spotted upon it. Probably a patrol…
"I'm bringing a guest. I want you to prepare one of the largest apartments for them. No expense is to be spared. It should be fit for… a queen.
"Can I count on you to do that?"
"Please. I used to entertain literal royalty, you know. Dedicated butlers and maids, gold service with several courses, matching uniforms. I've rewritten the book on Bourgeoisien protocols. The only problem was running out of excuses for why they couldn't stay yet another month. That's when I stopped providing the Western masseuses. Of course, nothing like that is possible now with the war on..." Shizuka sighed wistfully. Those were the days...
"No. I want that. Make it happen…"
"Kaname," Shizuka began irately, cursing her chattiness, lack of discretion and the obsessive need to prove herself capable to a seasoned campaigner who had taken over the continent. "There is no one here trained to properly empty an ashtray farthest…"
"Yes. There is. Shizuka. Please make the necessary preparations. I'll be very grateful."
Shizuka covered the speaker on the telephone, turned her head and groaned loudly into the pillow. That put paid to her designs on going right back to sleep. Just as well. You needed all your wits dealing with this man.
Not many people would be able to tell but the Second Leader was still being cool towards her. The clue was the meticulous politeness. He was being his cunning self. Waiting her out, she knew. Giving nothing away. He'd tried it that day they'd first… made love. Implying he wanted nothing more than her friendship, then they'd kissed and she'd come apart on, and soaked, his fingers. He'd gone away soon after and she'd grown to be grateful for the time away, coming to her senses, she'd thought, insisting when he'd called later that she would never call him "Mr Hiou" as he'd requested. And, that he belonged to her sons.
He'd been furious at first, ending the call abruptly. Then eleven days later she'd arrived home to find his guard outside her door… He was inside on the couch wearing the newspaper he was reading, a smile and not much else. She'd gone into her room to drop off her shopping, determined to ignore him but when she'd turned around, he was in the doorway…
Heaven help her. She'd no idea who moved first towards the other. He was young and extremely attractive. He made her feel young and desirable. Just looking at him made her… throb. After the kiss – she loved to kiss him - came the inevitable slow exploration of each other, then they'd lain on her bed amid the scattered shopping and talked about anything but the war, she still in her dishevelled dress and soggy underwear, lying on his stomach, her loose hair covering his nudity. What she liked to call her honour was barely intact by this stage, but she couldn't help herself. Worse, he knew she couldn't help herself. By the time they had risen for dinner, she'd called him "Mr Hiou" many, many times.
But he was gone by the morning. She'd found out later he'd insisted on holding a military summit there and had left immediately afterwards. What must it be like to be Second Leader running a war on several fronts and try to conduct affairs? She was beginning to learn. She'd thrown herself back into her activities, looking forward to his calls and when he would be home next and then, weeks later, she'd heard he'd visited her sons. Without her. Without even telling her. She'd been beside herself, overtaken by this… awful tawdry mix of anger, jealousy and suspicion. What did she expect? That his insistence on her being his wife, on being called "Mr Hiou", on ridiculously signing correspondence to her "KH", meant he would accord her enough respect to at least not sneak around on her? Maybe she would feel better if he included her in his decisions to go… fuck her children…?
No. Shizuka had taken a good long look at her pale, drawn face and red-rimmed eyes in the mirror and decided enough was enough. One night, when he'd called, she'd had a chance to hear the engines in the background and him asking "Mrs Hiou" to wish him luck, before she'd told him, in no uncertain terms, that this was silly and she was nothing more to him than a mother-in-law and should be treated as such. She'd been in the mood to be cruel, knowing he'd wanted some comfort before doing something perilous. But when he'd become so quiet on the phone she'd wanted disappear into the ground. She knew he loved her; she knew he found her as essential to his life as anyone else. She loved him too. All things being equal she would forget and just love him. But she was their mother. She had been made jealous of her own children. This horrible conundrum was of her making alone and she alone had to end it.
She'd asked him if he wanted her to leave. He declined. She'd next requested transportation home and he'd denied it, the first of what would become a running theme between them. There would never be an aircraft available. However, she found herself busy with entertaining various important visitors, other renovations, the opening of her museum which suddenly had been approved. And his calls returned to being business-like and scrupulously cordial. Like old times. No, worse than old times. Nothing was like how it had been. They both knew what the other tasted like and how they ached to experience it again. The cordiality masked a barely manageable undercurrent of pain.
Shizuka surfaced from the pillow and uncovered the phone.
"Of course, Kaname. Whatever you say. The East suite is free now that ambassador is gone. Your guest can go there."
"Thank you."
"You are welcome.
"Takuma sends his regards, by the way."
"Sorry... Did you say 'Takuma'?"
"Yes. Takuma. He stayed here a few days on his way back to the Eastern Front. He looked exhausted. I wouldn't hear of him leaving without a good rest and a decent meal. Then he stayed on a couple more days to help me curate more material for the museum. He's so good with tapestry…"
"…I see."
It was wicked of her. But she wanted him to know she wasn't just here pining for him.
"He likes what I've done with the renovations and the museum. We also tried out the acoustics in the Great Hall. Musically, I mean. It'll be perfect for a short recital when you return. We practiced together quite a bit before he had to go. This time."
There was no response. Shizuka allowed herself a smile.
Let me go home, you son-of-a-bitch…
It was then, during the seemingly endless tense pause on the phone, that Shizuka became aware of the activity downstairs. The sound of boots on the flagstones, the orders, shouts of jubilation.
"What…?"
BONG! BONG! BONG!
Shizuka sat up with a start! It was the bells! At four in the morning?!
"Kaname, I have to go. There's a fire…!"
"If you mean the bells, I ordered it…"
"Why?! It's dark out!"
Shizuka rose from the bed and ran over to the window. She could see the bells swinging maniacally lit by floodlights on the courtyard. Soldiers ran across it, hugged, clapped each other on the back, fired into the air. The bells continued, their din deafening. More people ran into the courtyard and cheered. What was it? What…
"Kaname! Are you still there?"
"Yes, Shizuka. I'm here."
"What's happening? Tell me…!"
"The Channel Countries fell this morning, Shizuka. They signed the terms of their surrender to the Monoliths forty-three minutes ago."
Shizuka reeled back and covered her mouth. A lot of things ran through her mind. Her astonishment that the great colonizer itself, which had seemed indominable, had fallen! Her horror to be on the phone with the one that had accomplished it! Her chagrin to have been prattling on about such nonsense when Kaname had achieved the unachievable. Her embarrassment to be caught out in this way. And her sadness to live to see it all and be involved with the monster who'd done it. When Kaname seemed at his wits' end, she had secretly rejoiced. But he'd done it. He'd succeeded!
Her mind went away to her feeble attempt to actively thwart him. To the day she'd finally secured the number to Commander Shiki's office to find out that Kaito Takamiya was no longer working there. The person then demanded to know who she was so she'd hung up. She did wonder if Kaname had… But it was no use. He could have just as easily gone home to help fight.
Maybe she'll see him again under the Monoliths.
"Con... Congratulations, Kaname."
Her half-hearted token was greeted with silence. She bit her lip as she waited for the consequences but they never came. Shizuka returned to watching the activity outside, donning her robe and taking the phone with her to the balcony. The bells were still pealing but there was a fiddler and dancing below. A chorus began of the Monolith's anthem. Tears began to run down Shizuka's cheeks.
"Shizuka?"
"I'm still here, Kaname." Even Commander Souen and her husband were down there frolicking around...
"What's wrong?"
Shizuka cleared her throat.
"Nothing! I'm just… a silly old lady. I think I'll go back to bed."
"Not yet. Stay with me. Share this with me."
Shizuka closed her eyes on his voice, his tone. He seemed subdued. None of the hooting for him. He alone knew what it had cost, perhaps.
"Are you happy, Kaname?"
"I am now."
Shizuka was glad he wasn't there to see her blush. Stupid man…
"Do the boys know?"
"Not yet. Describe the scene to me."
Shizuka told him, painting a mental picture of jubilant soldiers, dancing personnel and well lubricated servicemen, all against the backdrop of ancient buildings and the colour of night. The bells stopped thirty minutes after they had begun with the lightening sky, but there was still merriment. Shizuka, however, had run out of commentary.
"I'll make sure the apartment's ready." Shizuka offered this by way of taking her leave.
"I can hardly wait to see you."
"Kaname…"
"It's the truth. I miss everything about you."
Shizuka's eyes squeezed closed in agony.
"Tell me about the guest, Kaname. Are they coming with you?"
"….Yes."
"Who are they? Any special protocols?"
"No. I… Just what we discussed.
"I'll see you then."
And with that, he was finally gone.
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND, KANAME…"
"Clearly. I wanted to… discuss it with you. I don't know why now…"
"Neither do I, to tell the truth…"
Kaname sat up onto Zero's stomach from reclining on his chest and met his eyes. They had ended up in bed again after a leisurely shower and the most outstanding use of creamy suds on earth. Or so Kaname had declared using Zero's shoulders for support as his limbs trembled, a result of the exquisite abuse of his sensitive tight…
"Look, I'm certain this is what married people do. They discuss things that may hurt the other and for which they need support…"
"You've decided we're married?" Zero asked, his eyes dancing with mirth. He was over his fright from earlier. The fantastic make-up sex had a lot to do with it.
"I've decided that is what I want from this relationship. I like feeling like I belong to you. I like knowing, no matter where I go, you're there to come home to. I want that until my breath leaves my body. I even made you that promise when that… clerk came here…"
"Kaname, I don't even remember…"
"I do. The point is, I have this opportunity and, despite how I feel about not keeping my promise and hurting you all, I can't justify not taking it. So… I wanted to tell you about what I needed to do and ask for your understanding and support. I need to know you know the truth and won't grow to hate me if… I did this."
Zero shook his head. Why? Why tell him this? Why do this? Why anything with this man? Kaname cupped his cheek to still it, his eyes beseeching him to understand.
"I could save so many lives if I do this. Especially, after..." Kaname closed his eyes briefly to shake off some unforgivable sin, "after what I've had to do to... gain just a little advantage. Between that and the active measures, the human cost of this campaign is very high on both sides, Zero. Months and months of death and bodies for so long with very little progress... I warned her but...
"I'm used to using my body in every which way imaginable just to survive, to advance my cause. It bears the scars of many years of use and abuse, even scars you wouldn't see. What I propose to do is nothing to me in the grand scheme of what I've been through in my life. It's a small thing given how many men and women die every day, give their bodies in the ultimate sacrifice, for the cause. Yet, I'm scare to even try because of us. Because of my commitment to you..."
"I understand, Kaname..."
"It's just a performance, Zero. But one that will involve appearing as though… I no longer…"
"Care about us?"
Kaname's eyes welled at this, his heart breaking, at just the thought...
"Nothing could be further from the truth, Zero."
"I understand, Kaname."
"So, I thought, the best way to do this would be to ask your permission."
"Kaname…" Zero groaned and rolled to pushed him off, but the brunette slid back onto him, meeting his eyes. "Are you serious right now?"
"I know it will hurt you all, seeing that… and that is the last thing I want…"
"Aren't you being melodramatic, Kaname? I've been in relationships before where…"
"No. You've had clients. You're trying to treat me like a client. I won't stand for that. I... know what we have. What would it take for you to just admit you love me? That you don't want to lose me?"
Zero looked away from Kaname's earnest gaze as he felt his despair. He tried to deny it, opened his mouth to but…
"Go ahead. Say it. The heavens won't fall. Do it. Claim me."
Zero closed his eyes and Kaname pressed into him, his lips brushing the other's in tantalizing encouragement.
"Go on. Say it. You bas..."
"I love you, Kaname. I love you. From the moment I saw you, I'd wanted you for myself. Forget about anyone else and just stay here with me..."
Kaname kissed him, then, pressing deep, taking him over. He did "claiming" quite well. Zero felt breathless and exposed when Kaname finally lifted his head and smiled into eyes.
"I love you, Zero. I want that for us, too. But if I do this, it will eventually make us safer, give us more time together. I wouldn't do it otherwise. Trust me."
Zero looked crestfallen but he nodded, rubbing Kaname's back soothingly as the brunette watched the play of emotions on Zero's face with concern.
"What if I deny you permission, Kaname? Will that stop you from doing it?"
Kaname seemed to think about it. Zero actually thought there was a chance he would say "yes".
"No. It wouldn't. It's... too important."
"Then this is just an unbelievably awkward and useless conversation you've flown hundreds of miles to have!"
Kaname stayed silent at this, his eyes vacant as his mind went to some far-off place. Zero could feel the tension, even in his mind. Zero watched him in concern before cupping his face and saving him from that awful place, making him look at him instead.
"What is it, Kaname? Really? What do you want from me?"
"I guess what I want is your promise, that, despite what you see or hear, you'll remember you all have my heart. No one has or will ever touch that but you. I want to be able to rely on your knowing this. On your trust in me that this is the case. That I will always protect you and our love as long as I draw breath, no matter what I have to do to do it. It's the only way I will have the strength to do it."
"Is that all? Fine. I promise. Happy now?"
"Just like that?"
"What do you want me to say. I forbid it? Honour your marital vows?" Zero gave a little watery laugh to lighten the mood.
"Why are you making this sound so silly…?"
"Because it is!"
"Zero…"
"Kaname, I promise you that I understand and you have my blessing to do whatever with whomever to end the war. Now, let's drop it. Okay?"
Zero reached up and kissed his puckered forehead. He disliked knowing about it but he liked that Kaname needed his absolution. Made him seem invested in them despite how seriously creepy he could get.
"Are you going to have this talk with Ichiru too? I'm warning you; it could get far more awkward than it did with me."
"Yes. I'll take care of it."
"Good. There's a good chance I wouldn't survive that."
Kaname chuckled before dealing a kiss in apology to Zero's swollen lips and lying his head on his chest to savour a few more minutes of calm before the hustle and bustle of the day. He'd done the right thing. He felt better already. Once Zero understood and was on his side, he told himself, the others would follow.
AND SO IT WAS THAT SHIZUKA got to witness the spectacle of a woman draped on Kaname's arm as they disembarked the armoured limousine, exactly one week from his phone call to her. She was elegantly dressed in an ivory skirt-suit and matching stilettos, ivory clutch and broad-brimmed hat. Her earlobes sparkled in the sunlight from enormous diamond drop earrings in a platinum setting, the glare almost obscuring the remainder of her face that the enormous designer shades had not covered.
Shizuka hadn't the benefit of the warning he'd given to Zero, Kaname knew. His shades covered his eyes as he searched her face for a reaction. He felt gratified when he saw the cloud of confusion, betrayal and suspicion before it was quickly hidden. He found a slight, if petty, solace that she wasn't the only one that could be cruel in this relationship and that she could hurt like he was hurting.
Shizuka had been escorted a half hour earlier to the line of personnel forming the gauntlet for the couple to negotiate. She squinted as the first set of high-ranking soldiers bowed before she realised…
"…fit for a queen…"
No. Way.
"…And this is Mrs Shizuka Kiriyuu. She runs my… household."
"Do you mean… she's the housekeeper?!"
Even Shizuka almost winced at her posh accent. She'd developed and ear for these things living with the Monoliths and Yuuki. She almost laughed when she thought of one certain consequence of her presentation to the Supreme Leader.
"No… She's more like… a friend. Shizuka, may I present…"
"'Her Royal Highness, Princess Sara. Multi-Billionaire industrialist. Owner of Shirabuki Group, the second largest conglomerate in the world. Political titan and philanthropist. Friend to dolphins everywhere…'"
"That biography is outdated, Shizuka. I really must send you the new one…"
"That's right! You're Princess Regent now that your country has unfortunately misplaced your monarch! I'm very sorry to hear about your brother and his family. I do hope they turn up soon." Shizuka shot a long look at Kaname as she said this, and Sara's face hardened perceptibly. They both knew the person who was instrumental in the "misplacement", suspected or otherwise, was standing right there.
Kaname stayed perfectly still as the shoe dropped loudly. The only indication of his anger was the reddened shells of his ears. He hated being the last one to know.
"Where's Henri-Paul?" Shizuka continued, referring to her fifth husband, "You haven't 'misplaced' him too? That would be just careless…"
"I take it… you both know each other?" Kaname ground out, staring at Shizuka. If he could shoot lasers with his eyes, she'd be headless right now.
"Vaguely. It's been ages, hasn't it?" Sara volunteered, waving her hand dismissively before preening and looking over her head. Shizuka realised she was on her way to being forgotten. Unimportant.
The housekeeper.
She didn't fight it.
"Yes," Shizuka replied. "Ancient history. Too long ago to matter.
"Eloise will show you to your quarters. You will want to rest after your journey."
"We certainly do. Come on, Kaname. It's time you showed me somemore of your country's quaint honeymoon customs."
With that the couple turned away and followed the "butler" Shizuka had done her best to train in five days to the stairs, leaving her to focus on keeping to her feet on the hot pavement in the sunny courtyard all while feeling like a wrecking ball had been taken to her soul.
to be continued
lightpathetic wrote this but these are not my characters. They belong to Vampire Knight.
