Jaxsons P.O.V.

After the ceremony John and Connor went up to the barn loft, whilst the rest of us moved outside. Those that were staying for the reception found their tables and chatted whilst others said their goodbyes. I'm currently standing by the side of the barn, with a glass of champagne in my hand just observing what's going on around me and just thinking.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Alan came over saying

"Jax, look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but it's exactly why we need to talk about it" I took a deep breath before looking at him and saying

"I almost died this year, multiple times"

"I know" I looked over towards where Virgil, his date, Scott, Kat, Lady P, Tin-tin and Grandma stood. I then said

"That's about as grounded as you can get" He followed my gaze and said

"You want to leave, don't you?

"I didn't say that."

"It's the only reason you would be this quiet, Jaxson…" I turned to look at him as i said

"Can we please talk about this later?" He completely turned to face me as he said

"No. How long have you been thinking about this?"

"Honestly... Since I got back."

"Really?"

"It's not you guys. I love you. I just can't grab onto my old life and pretend that nothing happened"

He went quiet got a bit before saying

"Is this about Colonel Casey?"

"No. But she did ask me to head up my own team"

"And you're gonna do it"

"It's not that simple"

"But you're thinking about it."

"I don't know yet. I- I thought that going back to the island, doing online classes, even starting my training again was gonna fix this feeling, it was gonna give me what I wanted. But it hasn't. It's bigger than that... You think I should stay" he gave me a small smile and said

"I think I miss you already"

Just then Gordan made an appearance with Dad not far behind

"What?" he must have caught the end of our conversation. I then said

"Uh-uh- I'll tell you later."

"I do not like the sound of "I'll tell you later.""

"It's Johnny's night, and I don't want to…" he cut me off by saying

"All right, if you are telling me that there is something bad happening right now to balance out the goodness that is tonight, I will have none of it, because I don't believe in that. Although it's totally one of the truths of life. Isn't it? The bitter and the sweet mixed up together in a cosmic soup that we've all signed up for" Alan then placed a hand on Gordans shoulder and said

"Lets go get you another drink bud"

With them out of ear shot, Dad took one look at me and asked

"How are you?" I just let out a long sigh, eh laughed slightly and said

"That bad?"

"What?"

"That's your tell. That sigh"

"It is?"

"Mm-hmm"

"For how long?"

"Uh, your entire life" I took a sip of my drink before saying

"Oh. Well, you have one, too"

"I do?" I smiled and said

"Yeah. Only I'm not gonna tell you what it is Or you'll stop doing it.-"

"I see." We both then went quiet for a few moments until he said

"Do you want to talk about it?" I looked up at him and said

"Absolutely... But not right now."

2 hours later-

So we've just finished our evening meal and we are about to have the first dance. I'm going to be singing for this too, the only difference is that they don't know which one of my songs I've chosen.

"So neither John or Connor have any idea about what the song for their first dance is going to be?" I smiled at Virgil and said

"Where would be the fun in telling them?" Scott then said

"Don't worry. It's an oldie but a goody" everyone at the table looked at him with nothing but confusion on their faces. I then got up and said

"What he means is that I wrote it when I was like 12. Whilst I was living with Lady P"

Without another word I went over to the stage. Just as I made sure that everything was ready and set up, Parker spoke

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in inviting the newlyweds for their first Dance as Husbands" applause erupted as John and Connor got up and walked towards the dance floor hand in hand.

Once on the dance floor, I nodded to the DJ and the backing track began. I then started to sing once more.

"Whenever I was frightened Or ever felt alone I turned to the night sky And a star I call my own Somewhere I could run to Just across the Milky Way If you like I could take you It's just a light year and a day We can sail away tonight On a sea of pure moonlight We can navigate the stars Bring us back home In a place so far away We'll be young that's how we'll stay Every wish is a command When we find ourselves in Never Neverland…" As I sang John smiled, buried his face in Connors shoulder as I saw him say 'It's about the Space station'. After saying that, Connor smiled and kissed John "Through all my make believe There's some reality In your reflection There's much more than you see All that you hope for You hope for today Is the love someone gives you In an unconditional way We can sail away tonight On a sea of pure moonlight We can navigate the stars To bring us back home In a place so far away We'll be young that's how we'll stay Every wish is a command When we find ourselves in Never Neverland Picture a land you never have seen Life is eternal and evergreen Future of happiness all in your hands All in this place I created That I call Neverland"

I then saw Scott get up and pull Kat onto the dance floor; others followed suit.

"We can sail away tonight On a sea of pure moonlight We can navigate the stars To bring us back home In a place so far away We'll be young that's how we'll stay And with your hand in my hand I am closer now To finding Neverland And with your hand in my hand I am closer now To finding Neverland Neverland Neverland""