"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
― Friedrich Nietzsche
Emily hadn't been on the team very long, less than a year, when it happened the first time. It was one of those cases that seemed to stick with the team. Derek found her alone at the bar, a glass of scotch in one hand, a cigarette in the other. His eyebrows arched and she shrugged, a silent acceptance of the situation and her faults. Sliding into the open stool beside her, he motioned for two more scotches and took a long sip.
"Didn't know you smoked."
"Don't. Usually. Only when I'm stressed." She replied, turning the cigarette in her fingers and finally butting it out.
The bar was the closest one to Quantico, one that he had visited often, though Emily being there was new.
"Are you okay, Prentiss?"
Her finger ran over the edge of her glass in slow circles. "Fine."
She wasn't.
They called cabs that night and stumbled into his place. At first, he was happy letting her sleep in his bed to sleep off the haze of alcohol, but her warm hand on his wrist pulled him into the sheets with her.
She tasted like scotch and cigarettes. Her skin was soft and responsive under his movements. He woke up the next morning, her hair covering the pillow next to him, her scent on his skin.
She didn't stay for breakfast, grabbing her clothes and ordering an uber when he was in the shower. At work the next day they exchanged knowing looks but went on their way. Nothing had changed between them. They argued as normal, were partnered as normal, things were EASY between them.
The next time it happened, they stumbled back to her hotel room, all teeth and hands, eternally grateful that she had an end room. He left later that night, walking down the hallway in a walk of shame that wasn't shameful at all.
It wasn't until the situation with the cult, Benjamin's Believers, that he realised that their casual thing wasn't quite so casual to him anymore.
He couldn't hide the fear and panic in his voice hearing the story on the news. His heart hammered against his chest, his body breaking into a cold sweat. This wasn't happening. He had no doubt that Reid and Emily could take care of the situation, take care of themselves, but there was always that little inkling of a feeling that maybe something could go wrong.
And wrong they went. He heard her voice through the headphones, her gasps of pain, her cries. Each sound made his heart break a little more. He pulled off the headphones and tossed them to the side, stomping out of the tent. Rossi and Hotch let him go. They were all involved, but they weren't sure the reason for his outburst, but both were too wrapped up in the case to really notice.
He paced behind the line of officers, his eyes flicking towards the compound desperately. He didn't pray, everyone knew that, but he sent a quick request for whoever was up there.
That night, he was thankful that he was the one sent to notify her. He got to hear her voice. Even though she wasn't talking directly to him, she was still talking and he got to answer her. Sure, the answers were with blinks and nods, but he got to answer..
Emily laid on the bed, her breathing laboured and painful. Everyone knew that joining the bureau, you always ran the risk of being injured, and she was no exception. She laid there, waiting for a sign. She was okay. She knew she had a broken rib, maybe two, and she'd be bearing some amazing shiners for the next few days, if not a week. But she would survive. Unless anything else happened.
Hearing Derek's voice sent a shock of comfort and pleasure through her. She could tell by the intonation of his words, the strong cadence that he was stressed. Worried. Almost panicked. But he was there. The acrid smoke started to burn her lungs, the heat lapping at their heels. She gulped the fresh air, filling her lungs despite the pain that streaked through her with each breath. Each breath stretched her broken ribs beyond their capabilities, causing shooting pain through her body.
But she was alive.
His arms were around her, gentle and supportive. He led her to the first aid tent, and then sat with her in the ambulance. She swore up and down that she was fine, that she just wanted to get to the hotel. The X Rays showed broken ribs and she was sent home with a prescription of morphine and a rest. Derek offered to take Emily back to the hotel, watching as the rest of the team trickled out to see Reid. They were alone. Emily looked so small and tiny in the oversized hospital gown in the hospital bed. Pain medication curtained her eyes in a fuzziness.
"'M okay." She mumbled, fumbling with the IV in her arm.
"Wait until the nurse comes and takes that out." Derek chastised softly. "And listen to them. Take the drugs, and take a rest. You're not okay. You have two broken ribs and lots of bruises. You're lucky that you didn't puncture an internal organ. You're not okay."
She slumped against the bed and closed her eyes. "I didn't wanna let Reid get hurt." She mumbled. Her dark hair covered her face and she yawned deeply.
"I know you didn't, Princess. You are so brave." He reached out and brushed some of her hair off her face. Her eyes fluttered and she gave him a dopey smile.
It wasn't long before the nurse came and took out her IV and Derek helped her into his oversized sweater that he brought her. She sat in the wheelchair, too stoned and too sore to fight him on using it.
Helping her into her room, Derek rushed over to his room and grabbed his bag. He didn't care if they were caught, or if any of them saw, there was no way that he was going to let her out of his sight. Not tonight. Not after everything that happened.
"I wanna shower." She slurred. "I smell like a hospital." Almost tripping over her own two feet, Emily headed towards the washroom. Derek sighed and grabbed her hips gently. He wasn't going to argue, but he knew she couldn't do it alone and she was too damn stubborn to ask for help.
The water was hot and he shielded her from most of it. Gently he washed her hair and took his time washing her ivory skin. Bruises marred her skin, and he winced as he tried to wash her as gently as he could. She was too out of it to notice. Turning off the water, he gently dried her body, taking care to use feather light touches. Dressing her in a pair of clean underwear and his tshirt, he tucked her into the king sized bed. She was asleep before her head hit her pillow.
He watched her sleep, her chest rising and falling. Changing into a pair of sweats, he sat on the edge of the bed and watched her. Her breathing, adjusting pillows when she looked uncomfortable, pulled the blanket around her when she looked cold.
A soft knock at the door brought him to his feet. He opened the door and found JJ, tank top and flannel pants, and a thoroughly confused look on her face.
"Derek?"
He chewed on the inside of his cheek, he reached for a hoodie that was on the top of his bag and pulled it on before pulling the lock on the door and shutting it. "I...uh...I'm just…"
JJ's eyebrow arched, her arms crossed against her chest. "So you're Emily's mystery guy."
"Come again?"
"We knew, well Garcia and I knew, that Emily had a guy that she was seeing. Sometimes we could smell cologne on her, or find a tshirt in her house that obviously wasn't hers. But she wouldn't tell us." JJ shrugged. "You two are good together."
"We're not together." Derek mumbled, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
The blonde shook her head but didn't elaborate. "How is she?"
"Out cold. I just...wanted to make sure she was okay."
"Yeah, me too." JJ squeezed his forearm before turning and leaving.
Derek turned and quickly locked the door, and turned off the lights. Climbing into bed, he wrapped his arm around Emily, making sure that she didn't wake. He didn't sleep well, waking every few hours to check on Emily. She didn't stir.
He knew then that their casual thing, at least for him, wasn't so casual anymore.
On the jet, he stole glances at Emily who was talking to Spencer. He caught her eye and gave her a smile before returning to his conversation with Hotch.
At Quantico, he grabbed her bag without speaking and threw it in his truck. "Get in."
"But my car…"
"When you're healthy enough to drive it, we'll get it. I'll take you home and you can get some clothes, but I'm not letting you stay home alone."
She opened her mouth to argue, but a glare caused her to close it. Slowly, silently, she climbed into the truck and buckled herself in. His profile lit up in the streetlights and she stared at him. He was beautiful, far more beautiful than she was. His perfectly chiseled jawline, the five o'clock shadow that stayed at five o'clock, his long eyelashes, his slightly upturned nose. And not to mention his body. Beautiful.
"I'm not."
Emily jumped, yelped, then hissed. "Hunh?"
"You were staring at me and said beautiful."
Groaning, Emily slumped as best she could against the seat. They drove in silence until they reached her condo. Fuck stairs. Reading her mind, he held out his hand. "I can pack you a bag."
"Derek." Her face flushed imagining him going through her underwear drawer.
"I've seen your underwear before, Princess. And I've seen you without underwear. I'll be quick." He wiggled his fingers until she passed his keys over.
True to his word, he came back a few minutes later with a duffle bag and he gave her a smile. "Let's get you into bed."
The drive to his place was quick and she was fading fast. By the time they reached his house, Derek shouldered their bags and gently scooped her up. She didn't even complain, just rested her head on his chest.
Her dark eyes followed him as he undressed her and pulled his Chicago PD tshirt over her head. He pulled back his sheets and helped her under before grabbing a bottle of water and her pills. The pain was almost unbearable so she took one, leaning back against the pillows watching him undress. His muscles rippled in the soft light as he tugged on a pair of loose cotton pants before sliding under the covers with her. Her heart skipped a beat, feeling how easily they did this. Like home how, maybe someday they could do this for real. The drugs started to make her head spin and she laid down, sinking into the covers and the mattress.
"Go to sleep, Princess."
His voice was calming, but so far away. Licking her lips, Emily felt her body slowly drift to sleep, her mind a bit slower. She groped around blindly until she found his hand and she tugged on it until he spooned up behind her.
She sighed heavily and tried to let her mind rest. At least no one knew she caught FEELINGS for Derek Morgan.
The next morning she awoke to scrambled eggs and toast, and a cup of strong coffee with Splenda. He read to her while she relaxed and dozed on and off.
For the first time in her time on this earth, Emily thought that maybe spending her life with someone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Derek smiled as he watched Emily's eyes close and he leaned down, pressing a kiss on her forehead. His heart ached for Monday when he would drive her to work and they would just be Morgan and Prentiss again.
They did go back to Morgan and Prentiss, for far longer than either of them would like to admit. It went back to easy times with scotch, tequila, and whiskey fanning the flames. It went back to easy no strings attached sex, with both of them knowing that there were strings connected to their hearts and emotions.
It was back to Prentiss and Morgan until he held her body, watching the life drain out of her, and by that point it was too late.
Tara looked at Emily who was nursing the glass of sparkling water while the darker woman sipped her scotch. She shook her head and gave her boss a smile. "So, literally, you two were meant to be together."
Emily laughed heartily, a hand on her baby belly. "At first we just fit together sexually, it wasn't until later that we realised that we fit together in everything."
"Well you guys fit together at work too."
Shrugging, Emily took another sip of the water. "Yeah, we did. And we still do. I mean, I love Matt and Luke and they fit together in the team perfectly, but there are days that I miss Derek. We're lucky that both of us can still work at the bureau...but...sometimes I miss him beside me."
Her friend nodded and ordered them another round of nachos, pulling out a chair when JJ walked into the hotel bar. The blonde ordered herself a glass of white wine and settled in beside them.
"Well you two are lucky."
Emily nodded in agreement. "It's why we always send each other texts goodnight, and say I love you whenever we can." She said softly. "Because we were so close to having none of it."
