Chapter Thirty-Eight
Our honeymoon to Edinburgh ended up being a business trip for Vernon. Which I didn't mind, in all honesty, since it meant that Vernon was away during the day, leaving me alone in the hotel room. That was the best part of my day for the following four days, since he would drag me out to dinner with his associates simply to show me off, then come back to the hotel room at least slightly drunk, only to repeat his performance from our wedding night. And every night, after he fell asleep, I would be sick. Each and every night. I'd shower afterwards, to try to scour the feeling of him off my body, but it didn't work. I could still feel those meaty fingertips pressed into my skin, his lips attacking my skin, and worse. And I still had to slip back into the bed to try to get some sleep.
Cosmetics became my new best friend, since after the second night of that, I woke with giant bags under my eyes. And they only got worse. I was grateful I'd brought my wand, even though I was slightly terrified of how Vernon would react if he found it. If he'd even believe I had magic. It was a risk I had to take, but still dreaded the outcome someday.
Back in Little Whinging, life settled into a monotonous drudgery of sameness. Every morning, I woke early to make sure to have breakfast ready for Vernon, even though I rarely ate anything myself. He would eat, pausing for a quick snog and grope before leaving for work, then back home for dinner at six sharp. He expected dinner to be hot, and on the table, when he got home, and if it wasn't, I heard about it. Loudly. The first time, he pushed everything off the table onto the floor, sending food and pieces of glass flying. He screamed for ten minutes straight, face nearly purple in anger as he raged at me, trapping me in the dining room. It was terrifying. Dinner was never late or cold from that time on.
As soon as Vernon left every morning, I headed for home. The first day back from Scotland, I was still incredibly sore and unsteady, so I drove to see Mum. After that, it became more of a habit, and soon enough, I found myself Apparating very rarely. Eventually, the only thing I did with magic was cooking, and only if I got home a bit later than planned. I didn't want to risk dinner being late.
I continued to see Mum nearly every day, though it was terrifying to see how she faded more and more. Lily came as often as she could, in between her healer training and Order missions. James came, too, and Nic and Danae moved back to London, so they saw Mum frequently, as well. But other than seeing them at Mum's, I never saw anyone. Vernon hated all my friends, so it wasn't as if I could throw parties, or even dinner. Though he was quick to offer our place for dinner parties for his work friends, and then expected me to do all the work, of course.
…
Winter was harsh and far colder than usual. Just after New Year's, I came down with a terrible flu. It was bad enough that Vernon even noticed, though most probably because I was too ill to make him breakfast, but I was so sick, I couldn't function. After the third day of me hugging the toilet, he suggested I see a doctor on his way out the door. I was too ill to make it on my own, so, after a long deliberation, I phoned Lottie, knowing she would most probably be at home. After all, that's where she wrote her columns most of the time. She Apparated over immediately, then bundled me into my car, since Apparition or Floo would only exacerbate my nausea. She overrode my protests that I had to at least shower. "Darling, you look like death, and you need a healer more than a shower," she said, refusing to listen to anything I had to say.
Once at St. Mungo's, though don't ask me how we got there as I slept the entire ride, the witch at the welcome desk took one look at me and immediately said, "Second Floor, love, right on up."
Lottie nearly carried me up the stairs to the magical bugs ward. Healer Blishwick, an older witch who immediately set me at ease with her warmth, sent me to a diagnosis room straight away, diving into a string of diagnostic spells as soon as I settled onto the bed. "When was your last monthly, love?" she asked, still waving her wand in movements I didn't recognize.
That startled me. "Um, November? Or was it October? It's never been regular," I mumbled, then dived for the waste basket by the door after catching a whiff of something foul smelling.
"Hmm, and does that shiny rock on your finger mean engaged or married?" she continued.
"Married, just in August," Lottie answered for me, since I was still heaving. She didn't even try to hide the bitter tone, but I was too sick to even think about saying something about it.
"Mmm, thought so," Healer Blishwick said. She stopped her spells and clasped her hands together. "My dear, you're expecting."
Hugging the basket a little closer, I stared at her dumbly. "Expecting what?"
Lottie snorted. "For someone so intelligent, you can be really thick sometimes, love. You're expecting a baby."
A numb sort of horror slowly settled on me. "A baby," I repeated, just to be sure.
Both Lottie and Healer Blishwick nodded. "Only a few weeks along yet, but there's definitely a little spark there. You'll be due sometime in October. I can do the gender spell if you'd like."
"No!" I was quick to say, too quick, as she drew back in surprise. "No, thank you, I want it to be a surprise," I added, smiling so she wouldn't think anything was wrong.
She nodded slowly, then proceeded to give me a list of potions to take, to help the baby grow healthfully, to help with the nausea, etc. "You can pick these up at the welcome desk if you'd like, or here are the recipes for each," she told me, handing me a sheaf of parchment.
"Oh, Pet was the best in our year at Potions," Lottie bragged. "She'll have these made in no time."
"I'd better get them for now, though," I said. I was so nauseous I could hardly see straight, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd brewed a potion, anyway. I didn't want to mess up with something as important as this.
On our way back downstairs, with Lottie supporting me more than she should have, we heard, "Tuney?"
I froze. How could I have forgotten that my own sister would have been there? She was in healer training, so of course she would have been at the hospital during a weekday.
Lottie turned us around slowly, giving me time to paste a false smile on my lips. "Lils," I croaked.
"Well, I was going to ask what you're doing here, but looking at you, I know," she teased, coming to wrap me in her hug. As comforting as it was, I wanted nothing more than to get away from her.
"You only think you know," Lottie said, sounding an interesting mix of excited and disgusted. "Pet is pregnant."
That same mix of emotions played on Lily's face. "Oh, Pet, that's good news. Isn't it?" she finally said.
"Of course, it is! Right now, the little monster is trying to get me to throw it up, but it's good news," I falsely assured.
"Get your potions at the front desk. That'll help," she promised, "and I'll check on you tonight. But I've got to get back to work. Love you, Tuney."
She rushed off, and Lottie continued to help me down the stairs. The welcome witch gave me the potions prescribed, though it took me far too long in my ill state to remember my Gringotts account number to have her withdraw the payments for it. Lottie practically drowned me in her rush to get the nausea potion in me, then bustled me out to the car in no time.
It didn't take long for the potion to start working, and I found myself able to do more than stare blankly out the window. Though, my spiraling thoughts left me in much the same state, so it wasn't a surprise when Lottie simply helped me in the house and up to bed again. "Do you need anything, Pet? Anything at all," she asked, holding my hand with so much tenderness and love that I nearly cried.
I forced another smile instead. "No, thanks, though. I think I'm just going to sleep now. Thanks for taking me today."
She snorted. "You're my best friend, Pet. Even though your husband is horrid and doesn't like any of us, that doesn't stop me from caring about you. And your baby is going to be so cute. I can't wait to meet them. Auntie Lottie has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"
A genuine laugh escaped my lips, probably the first in months. "It does, and my baby is incredibly lucky to have you in its life."
"And to have you as a mummy," she added, smiling softly. "Now, get some rest, love. You look like you need it."
Only after I heard the door shut behind her did I finally let out the sobs that had been building since Healer Blishwick had uttered those four words that changed my life.
AN: I know, I said I would have this out weeks ago, and then nothing. I'm so sorry! I had it about halfway written, and then I couldn't write any more for way too long. And then I update with this chapter, which is terribly sad, and there's more sad coming, and I'm having a hard time writing this because it's so sad! But we have to go through the sad to get to the happy, which will make it worth it, I promise! So, thanks for reading, and a bit thanks to JamesTKent and ReviewerDWJ for your reviews. I know it's sad, guys, believe me, I know.
