Title: Turkey Trot
Summary: After the disaster that was the Super Coffee* The Penguins to celebrate Thanksgiving early (with fish). While previous years thanksgivings were interrupted by Dinosaur attacks or time traveling missions to get turkey off the menu... This Year the Penguins are determined to have a normal thanksgiving. But Hans the Puffin and the other hoboken zoo residents have other plans.
*SPOILER: Time Paradoxes, Time Travel, and Alternate Time-lines not included.
Timeline: Between "The Epic Adventures: The Revenge of Karl" and "The Epic Adventures: The Future of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole".
Characters: Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, Private, Uncle Nigel, King Julien, Mort, Maurice, Clover, Marlene, Hans the puffin, Clemson, Savio, Timo, Sage, Rat King, Barry the poison Dart frog.
November 25th, 2017
One hour since "Super Coffee" Failure
Penguin HQ
(Skipper's POV)
"Well gals and gents," I said staring at the ocean's bounty in front of us, "Happy Early Thanksgiving!"
"Happy Early Thanksgiving!" Marlene, Private, Nigel, and Rico said.
"Kowalski?" I said.
"Just disposing of the last of the Super-coffee Maker," Kowalski said taking a seat, "Happy Early Thanksgiving."
"I am thankful for each and every one of you around the table. Private for your heart. Kowalski for your brain. Rico for you uh...very specific skills. Marlene for your friendship. Nigel for your years of experience in espionage."
"I am thankful for the Red Squirrel not showing his crimson pelt around here," Nigel said.
"Ka-boom," Rico said as he hugged his 'girlfriend'.
"I am thankful for all my friends!" Marlene said
"I am thankful for this rare opportunity to catch a breath and not have to deal with enemies," Private said.
"I concur Nephew," Nigel said.
"I can't imagine the lemur's are having as much fun as us," I said.
Meanwhile
Madagascar
"Fly, fly, fly, fly, fly-fly-fly-fly-fly-fly-fly-fly, p-p-p-p-p-p-p PARTY!"
"Hey Frank," Julien said sitting on a pile of rocks in a hot air balloon, "it's me King Julien...your favorite King. Now I know your probably busy but can you please... HELP ME DOWN FROM HERE!"
"Julien try not to panic!" Maurice shouts.
"Panic? Who's Panicking? I'm not panicking!" Julien said, "SEE HOW CALM I'M BEING!?"
"Your Majesty hang on!" Clover said.
Clover then turns to Timo, "You! What did you do!"
"You better start talking hot shot," Mort said.
"It appears that I might have improved the hot air balloon a little too well," Timo said.
"SOMEBODY GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" Julien screams.
"I could shoot the top of the balloon," Timo said, "which would deploy the parachute..."
"Oh you mean this thing?" Julien said holding up a piece of canvas.
"How did you accomplish that," Clover said face palming.
"I'm a King I accomplish the impossible," Julien said.
"Your majesty!" Timo said, "You need to gradually reduce your lift!"
"Okay," Julien said shutting off the fire providing lift, the balloon instantly deflating and falling down.
"I said GRADUALLY!" Timo screams.
"Oh right," Julien said turning the flame back on but it was too late.
"Well if don't figure out something soon," Timo said, "Julien could go splat on the ground."
"Oh if he does," Mort said, "Your going to go splat on the ground!"
"Mort that's enough," Clover said.
"You got a plan?" Maurice said.
"Better," Clover said, "I'M ON IT!"
"HELP!" Julien screamed.
Suddenly a Hawk ridden by Sage appeared and grabbed the gondola of the falling balloon.
"I'll heard you call for help like a mama fossa hearing the cries of it's blind and helpless babies," Sage said.
"Okay he's on it," Clover said.
"D-dubs! You saved me from falling," Julien said.
"Falling is just flying in reverse," Sage said, "Like a mighty hawk returning to it's egg."
"And now you lost me," Julien said.
"We're all lost," Sage said, "We are all on a planet that is spinning as it revolves around the sun in the endless ballet of life on it's random journey through the galaxy on it's endless journey though the infinite chaos of the constantly expanding void of the cosmos."
"You get any of that?" Maurice said.
"No not really," Clover said.
"I did," Timo said, "Since basically all the other galaxies are rapidly moving away from us...because the space between them is expanding thanks to the constantly expanding universe caused by the presence of dark energy."
"That made even less sense," Maurice said.
"Uh are you going to put me down?" Julien said.
"What is up and what is down?" Sage said, "is just a construct of the mind."
Even Sage's hawk was confused with that statement as he lowered the gondola to the ground, "Whoa!" Julien said, "that blew my mind!"
"I can't imagine the Penguins having this much fun," Julien said.
"Fun?" Clover said, "You thought that was FUN?"
"What is Fun?" Sage said, "But a..."
"Not now Sage," Clover said.
Penguin HQ
"Uh..." Kowalski said hiding his scanner which was showing a secret video feed of Madagascar, "Yeah their probably not doing anything as fun as this."
I turn back to our bounty of fish, seafood, deserts, stuffing, and drinks, "Well...let's dig in!"
"Happy thanksgiving!" I said raising my glass.
"Happy Thanksgiving!" Everyone said as we started to make our plates.
"Clams Skipper?" Kowalski said.
"Sure," I said.
"Can you pass me the smoked salmon?" Private asked.
"Okay," Rico said.
"Can I have some stuffing," Marlene said.
"Here you go Marlene," Kowalski said.
"Uncle Nigel can you past me some shrimp," Private said.
"Here you go old bean," Nigel said holding up the shrimp platter.
"Thank you," Private said as he took some shrimp.
"Think nothing of it lad," Nigel said.
"Fish?" Rico asked.
"Here you go," I said filling Rico's plate with different cooked fishes.
"Kipper's Skipper?" Kowalski said taking a sip of ginger ale.
"You know me too well," I said taking the serving plate from him and piling on some smoked kippers onto my plate.
"Kowalski? Grilled Herring?" I asked handing him the herring platter.
"Don't mind if I do," Kowalski said grabbing one with his tongs.
"Can someone pass me the calamari?" Marlene said.
"Sure," Kowalski said passing over the platter.
"Thank you," Marlene as she grabbed some.
"Cranberries please," Private said.
"Here you are Private," I said passing him the bowl of cranberries.
"Thank you Skipper!" Private said scooping some onto his plate.
I took a bite of my food, "Ah...can anything ruin this day..."
Fifteen minutes later...
"Who wants seconds!" I said.
"ME!" Everyone shouted.
1 hours later...
"I hope you saved room for pie!" I said bringing out a pumpkin pie fresh out of our "oven" (or the incinerator).
"I always have room for pie," Nigel said.
"Excelente," I said as I started to distribute the pie.
"Rico!" I said, "Whipped Cream!"
Rico hacked up a Whipped cream can and pulls off the cap before squirting a dollop on everyone's pie, "Thanks!" Marlene said.
"It's not pumpkin pie without the whipped cream," Private said.
"I concur my good penguin," Nigel said.
"Alright the game is on in 2 hours," I said, " do whatever you want!"
Suddenly all the lights went out, "What the dunce?" I said.
"I hope your enjoying your feast Skipper," Hans said as he entered flanked by Savio and Clemson.
"HANS!" I scream.
"What does he want!" Private said.
"Revenge, Chaos, and Destruction," Hans said.
"emphasis on the chaos and destruction," Clemson said.
"And maybe a feast of our own," Savio said.
"WE ARE NOT EATING THEM!" Hans said.
"But I'm a predator...that needssss to eat," Savio said.
"You devoured a thousand rats on the way here!" Hans said.
"Is it any of the rats we know?" I said.
"Maybe," Savio said.
"Is the Rat King going be rampaging over here," I said.
"No," Savio said as he the side of his gut starts deforming.
"LET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!" The Rat King shouted from inside the snakes stomach, "Or I'm going to give you indigestion!"
"The Inside of your gut is going to face my fists!" The Rat King said, "Unless you let me out right now!"
"You ate the Rat King?" I said.
"IS that you Flightless bird?" Rat King said.
"Um...yes," I said.
"When I get out of here I'm going to kick your butts!" Rat King said.
"Oh settle down," Savio said, "And get digested already!"
"Vomit me up right now!" Rat King said, "OR I'M GOING TO REARRANGE YOUR GI TRACK!"
"Physically impossible," Kowalski said..
"Don't start with me nerd!" Rat King shouts from inside Savio's stomach.
"FINE!" Savio said before vomiting up the Rat King.
"And the rest of my Rats?" Rat King said.
"YOUR RATS? WHAT ABOUT US HOBOKENERS!"
"UH...boss...I don't want to be stuck with the hoboken rats when their angry!"
"OH I'LL SHOW YOU ANGRY HOTSHOT!"
"All of the rats," Rat King said with a shudder.
"Fine," Savio said before hacking up all the remaining rats.
"Rats," Rat King said, "Let's go!" leaving with the native Manhattan rats.
"I never want to see any of you again," shouted Rat King's New Jersey equivalent as he left with the hoboken rats.
"And there goes my lunch," Savio said before hungrily turning to us.
"No feasting of our foes!" Hans shouted.
"Fine... You two can fight them on your own," Savio said, "Now if you excuse me...I have to go find a new lunch."
With that Savio left leaving Hans and Clemson without their muscle, "Well this is awkward."
"No Uncle King Julien," I said.
"No," Clemson said.
"There only room for one evil lemur on this mission," Hans said, "Plus I don't like Julien the Twelfth."
"So what kind of chaos and destruction are you planning?" I asked.
"First," Clemson said, "We're going to take out all of you..."
"And then we're going to blow up the zoo," Hans replied.
Uncle Nigel takes out Clemson with once punch knocking him out, "Oh," Hans said, "Just me then..."
Hans pulls out his laser weapon from the strap on his back and aims it at Nigel and us, "Punch your way through this super special agent!"
"I rather do this," I said before kicking the gun from the Puffin's flipper.
"What?" Hans said before I belly slid right into him knocking him down.
Hans got up and did a flip kicking me into a wall. I got up only for Hans to throw a smoke grenade into my face. A cloud of smoke blinded me as Hans then proceeded to grab me by the flipper.
"Best friend handshake!" Hans said before flipping me into my own men.
Kowalski and Private were quickly taken out but Rico recovered. Rico hacked up a rocket launcher and aimed it at Hans. While Hans was slowly backing away from Rico with his flippers up I snuck up behind him. I tapped Hans on the shoulders causing him to turn around.
"Knock Knock," I said.
"Yes?" Hans said, "Knock, Knock who?"
"Rude interrupting fist," I said.
"Rude interrupting..." Hans said only to get punched in the face knocking him to the ground.
Han turned to see his laser weapon and started to crawl towards it. Nigel reacted by kicked the laser weapon out of reach. It slid towards my foot and I picked it up. Hans stood up as Rico moves in close with his bazooka. Hans did a somersault knocking the weapon out of Rico's flippers and he landed on his feet.
Hans then turns only to find his own laser weapon pointed at his face, "Give up now Hans," I said.
Clemson was next to me and tried to get up only for me to punch him again. Savio had second thoughts about not helping Hans and slithered down the hatch towards us. Rico hacked up his plunger crossbow and started to fire with the snake dodging every shot.
"Hold it right there," Burt said as his trunk grabbed Savio's tail.
"Oh on," Savio said as he is pulled out.
There is a series of loud bangs as Savio is smashed into the ground repeatedly. Clemson tried to get up a third time only for Kowalski to kick him in the face. Clemson passed out for the third and final time. Hans used my momentary lapse of focus to kick his weapon out of my flippers. It landed by Rico's feet as he cocked his flamethrower. Rico picked it up and smashed it repeatedly into the wall until it broke into a million pieces. We could hear Savio's screams as he is flung out of the zoo.
Hans pulls the freeze-ray cappuccino maker from the strap on Clemson's back and aimed it at us, "Freeze!" Hans said.
He fired and froze Private as he recovered. Kowalski burst out of the lab with his ice ray only to get frozen as well. Rico fired off his flamethrower at the same time Hans freeze-ray started shaking as Cappuccino started squirting everywhere.
"It's gonna blow!" Clemson said making a run for it.
"HIT THE DECK!" I scream as Me, Rico, Marlene, and Nigel hit the deck.
Hans drops the freeze ray and puts the lab door between himself and the weapon/kitchen appliance, "Take cover!"
The Freeze-ray cappuccino maker exploded sending liquid and parts flying everywhere. Hans kicks the door to the lab open as we all recover. Rico quickly thaws Kowalski and Private out of their icy prisons.
"Nobody move," Hans said holding the plasma blaster in one flipper and a detonator in the other, "Now sit back and relax as we all die."
Hans raises the detonator and his flipper moves to hit the button. Marlene drop kicks the puffin causing him to drop the blaster and the detonator. The Plasma blaster landed on Hans' foot causing the puffin to hop around in pain. The detonator skidded across the floor only to be stopped by Rico's foot.
"Bad Ka-boom," Rico said destroying the detonator with his flamethrower.
Hans managed to recover only to have a fish aimed at is face, "Ends this now," I said.
"Sure," Hans said pulling out another detonator and pushes the button.
Hans dons a gas mask as knock out gas filled the base, "Oh no," Kowalski said.
"Good night!" Hans said as he makes his escape.
I rush out of the base before the gas overtakes me. Kowalski, Marlene, Private, and Nigel passed out as a gas mask wearing Rico rushes up the ladder after me. The fish dish hiding our hatch flipped over as Rico and I landed on the top of the concrete island. I slid the fish dish back over the entrance to our base before we dove into the water. We swam in circles at the bottom of the pool to build up speed before launching ourselves out of the water and over the fence.
We jump off a pole, a bench, and a fence before landing on the pavement. I scanned for Hans and saw him running towards the clock-tower. I silently gestured at Rico and he wordlessly interpreted my instructions before nodding in agreement. I nod back and point ahead of us towards the retreating puffin. We got on out bellies and belly-slid after the puffin when Clemson appeared out of nowhere and kicked Rico into me. That caused a chain reaction the sent both of us slamming into a wall.
Rico recovered only to be grab by the flipper and flung head first into a lamppost. Rico spun around a bit before falling unconscious leaving just me and the lemur.
"You can't win this," Clemson said.
"You want fruit," I said.
"What?" Clemson said.
"Try our delicious berries," I said, "Or should I say Barry..."
Suddenly a bunch of ugly bumps appeared all over Clemson as he passed out, "Take that!" Barry said as he hopped on top of the lemur.
"Hey how about a celebratory hug?" Barry said holding his arms out.
"I don't think so," I said as I waddled away.
Shortly...
I found Hans on the top of the clock tower messing with a giant detonator computer, "Skippsy," Hans said, "You came to say good bye?"
"I'm here to knock the schnitzel out of you," I said.
"Will there be SpƤtzle with that?" Hans said as he activated a countdown.
"Don't make me twist you into a pretzel," I replied.
"Enough with the food references please," Hans said.
"I'm going to kick all the way back to Oktoberfest!" I said as edged closer.
"You should run Skipper," Hans said, "Because this zoo's going down faster then the Berlin wall."
"Actually you are," I said before tackling him.
Hans kicks me off him as the countdown continues ticking down, "Blitzkrieg tactics don't work with me!"
"Don't destroy the zoo Hans," I said, "This fight is between me, you, and the Danes...don't involved the innocent animals of this zoo!"
"This Kampf is mine," Hans said, "And I will fight it my way!"
"And I will end it," I said raising a fish of my own.
"You Dummkopf," Hans said, "The fight is over."
"Then why did the countdown stop," I said.
"What?" Hans said turning to see that Kowalski had stopped the countdown.
"Check and mate," Kowalski said.
"What... Impossible... how?" Hans said.
"Happy Thanksgiving Dummkopf," I said before knocking the puffin out with a punch.
Shortly...
"I will have my vengeance!" Han said strapped to a rocket with Clemson, "This is not the last you'll see of me! Nien! This is not the end! Not by a long shot!"
"Auf Wiedersehen Puffin," I said, "Until we meet again."
"You will pay for this," Hans said.
"Oh put a pin in it," Clemson said, "Bye penguins...or as they say in Madagascar...Veloma"
"That's Malagasy the native language of..."
"Not now Kowalski," I said as I fired the rocket.
"No!" Hans said, "I will return! I will..."
"SHUT UP!" Clemson said as they flew away.
"Back to Hoboken with those two," I said.
"Actually," Kowalski said, "I may have miscalculated the launch angle and the fuel level... Current calculations put their landing trajectory... in the St. Lawrence Seaway."
"I hope they enjoy Canada then," I said as the rocket flew out of sight.
"Or the middle of the Atlantic Ocean..." Kowalski said.
"They would hate that..." I said.
The Atlantic Ocean...
Hans and Clemson were floating on a piece of driftwood, "CURSE YOU SKIPPER!" Hans screams.
"Hey don't draw the sharks in!" Clemson said.
"There down in by the electrical signals in your muscles!" Hans said, "Not by sound!"
"What about blood in the water then?" Clemson said.
"That's not scientifically accurate," Hans said, "Haven't you seen Shark Week?"
"What's Shark Week?" Clemson said.
"Are you kidding me," Hans said.
Elsewhere...
"That is for swallowing me!" Rat King said punching Savio in the face.
"And this is for keeping me in your stomach," Rat King said.
"And this is for almost digesting me!" Rat King Said punching him again.
"your Prey and I'm a Predator," Savio said between punches, "It's only natural."
Rat King flexes his muscular arms, "Does this look natural to you?"
"Uh no," Savio said.
"Welcome to the gun show," Rat King said before punching the snake again.
"HAPPY THANKSGIVING LOSER!" Rat King said as he slams the snake into a wall.
The End
(The Penguins of Madagascar Theme Plays)
