Force Dyad

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A/N-thank you very much to everyone who kindly read and reviewed the last chapter. I got tearful while writing this chapter. I am glad I had some tissues handy….

Chapter Thirty-Nine-Mourning

Stars lit the sky like snow-flakes in the night, yet appeared still, like a holo-image set on pause. Rey smiled, feeling the wind blow her hair into a tousled mane. It wasn't often she let her long hair flow free, it was liberating. She pushed the glossy chestnut strands back from her face and tucked them behind her ears. She watched as Ben added more wood to the campfire and poked at it with a long stick. The light cast by the flames danced across his handsome face. He had the kind of face that stopped a person in their tracks, Rey thought, not that Ben ever seemed to notice. He was indifferent about his looks, always assuming the worst when he caught someone staring. He would never accept that maybe they were just admiring him from afar.

"Why are you looking at me so funny?" Ben asked when he noticed her gazing wistfully in his direction. "Have I got something on my face?"

Rey's cheeks were suddenly kissed pink like a spring rose, the blooming colour obvious against her freckled skin. She looked away and tried to distract Ben from questioning her further. She was so embarrassed to be caught staring at him, again! It wasn't the first time. What was wrong with her?

"Are you feeling alright, Rey?" Ben asked in concern when she didn't immediately answer him. "Your cheeks are all flushed."

"I'm fine." Rey mumbled, cursing her traitorous skin in her head. "I was just thinking…."

"About?" Ben prompted her when she hesitated.

Rey was struggling to come up with a reasonable explanation until her eyes landed on Ben's lightsaber that lay casually on the ground beside him. "I lost my saber." She blurted out. "I worked so hard to build it…and now it's gone."

"Oh, Rey." Ben's eyes were soft with sympathy as he reached for her hand.

Rey avoided his touch, shifting away from him, her own eyes filling with unexpected moisture. If she was being honest, it was the first time she had even thought about the weapon. But now that she had, she mourned its loss. "I was going to show Finn." She said in a low voice. "I won't get the chance now." She wiped away a stray tear with the back of her hand. "I wonder how he's faring. He must be- "

"Rey." Ben's voice was tight with strain as he interrupted her rambling.

"Don't say it, Ben" Rey was suddenly afraid of what he was about to tell her. She turned her back on him completely, not wanting to see the pity on his face. "Finn is just fine."

Ben could feel the waves of her grief travelling through their bond. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her arm. Despite the heaviness in her stomach, Rey sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture.

"We don't know for sure." Rey said bleakly. "He could have escaped."

"I didn't see him at the hospital, only Tai and Hennix. And they were off world when…." Ben couldn't finish. He rubbed Rey's arm again soothingly.

"I survived!" Rey protested as she looked at him pleadingly. "He might have too. I can't give up on him, Ben. What if he's lying somewhere injured?"

"Rey, Skywalker and the others would have checked…when I went back there, I saw…" Ben stopped again, swallowing thickly. "I saw the freshly dug graves."

Rey stilled, her brow furrowing in confusion. "I don't understand. What do you mean when you went back? Why did you need to go back? When did you even have the chance?"

When the guilt came again to haunt Ben, he took in a breath to steady his nerves. He reminded himself that whilst he couldn't undo his misdeeds, he hoped that Rey would understand the reasons behind them. Just thinking about the near insanity he'd descended into after being so convinced she was dead-the devastating loss of their bond, the feeling that she had fallen completely out of existence-followed by the confrontation with Skywalker and his cruel accusations. Ben wondered if he would have behaved differently if his uncle hadn't appeared at the exact same moment he was trying to absorb Rey's loss. He would have dug her out with his bare hands if he had to, or used the Force, but instead he had wasted time fighting Skywalker, letting the darkness consume him, allowing Snoke access to infiltrate his mind and manipulate him.

"In the moment, that flash of anger protected me from the pain." Ben explained haltingly. "Were I to relive it, I would try to summon more strength. I failed myself, and you too. I'm so sorry." Ben hung his head in shame at the difficult confession. "I nearly succumbed to the darkness…if it wasn't for Magda…."

Rey's fingers were featherlight on his cheek. "It wasn't Magda who stopped you. You did. By reaching out to her you had already made the decision to turn away from the dark."

"But I was so close to giving in – "

"You need to learn to have faith in yourself. I always have." Rey looked toward the horizon. The pure black of the night was comforting, the blanket of generous velvet made her feel safe. Tython was such a spiritual place, felt so much like home like nowhere else ever had. She was sad to go but knew it was time to leave. "Ben, I want to go back to the temple."

"Rey, you've been through an incredible ordeal. Are you sure you're ready?" Ben cautioned her.

"I need to know for definite about Finn…"

"K.'" Ben agreed reluctantly. He would do whatever she wanted. "We can look for your lightsaber, too."

"Thanks." Rey gave him a wan smile, knowing how ambivalent he was feeling about the whole thing. She just felt it was something she needed to do, even if all she got out of it was a sense of closure.


Rey sank to her knees when she found Finn's grave, not caring for the damp mud that dirtied her clothes. His name was etched into the wooden marker that Skywalker and the others had hastily assembled to identify the deceased as they lay them to rest. Her tears mingled with the driving rain falling from the grey skies. The pain that flowed from her was as palpable as the frigid wind ruffling the loose strands of her hair. Ben stood by her side, struggling to keep his tears silent, looking up to the watery skies, sharing and feeling every inch of her pain.

So many young lives tragically lost.

For what?

Revenge?

Ben's mind turned to Voe and his expression turned grim. She was responsible for all this destruction, she had blood on her hands, and still Skywalker defiantly refused to believe she was at fault. Instead blaming him. He couldn't believe she had done all this alone. There had to be others involved. As the rain increased in intensity he looked down at Rey's bent head. She still hadn't shared much about what had happened in that strange otherworldly place she had found herself in. Ben guessed she would in time. For now, she was lost in her heartache as she mourned her friend.


Rey covered Finn's grave with the freshly cut flowers. After the rain, the fog had rolled in. She touched the grave marker, the rough wood that bore his name but none of who he was. Finn was never grey or cold; he was the sunshine and the flowing river, the laughter and the sparkle of light. He was the beauty that made life good and made her heart beat happily in her chest when she thought about him. She would treasure his memory forever.

"Goodbye, my friend." Rey whispered as she pushed herself back onto her feet. "We'll see each other again one day."

She saw Ben in the distance coming toward her. While she had been preoccupied with gathering the flowers to put on Finn's grave, he had used the opportunity to go and search for her lightsaber. It hadn't taken him long to find it, the saber remained in the place she dropped it after being buried underneath the falling masonry.

"Here." He said, handing it to her when he finally reached her side.

Rey curled her fingers around the hilt, feeling the familiar weight of it resting easy in her palm. She ignited her weapon. The smooth yellow blade quickly hummed to life, casting a sunny halo of light on her face, warming her pale skin. Twirling the saber in her hand, Rey made a few practice swings. As she did so, she made a solemn vow inside her mind, that if she ever encountered Voe again, next time she would be the victor.

A/N-thanks for reading!