A Change in Plans
An ATC for "The Foundling"
by Lilyjack
Chapter 39
"For Better or For Worse"
He rained kisses on her cheeks. His fingers twined in her newly brushed hair as he cradled her head between his hands. He whispered, "I'm so sorry, honey. I'm so sorry. I never shoulda left you. I don't know what the hell I was thinkin'." Her torrent of tears was released in a whirlwind of emotion: fear, relief, remorse. Those tears wet his lips, salted his tongue, sucked the air from his lungs. Her worst nightmare had almost become his reality.
Her face crumpled as she choked back a sob, gazing into his dark, compassionate eyes. "It's not your fault! I drove you away. I don't know why I was so angry with you. I didn't have cause to act like that!"
"No, honey, I never shoulda said anything so thoughtless, so stupid. You had a right to be mad at me."
"I just don't understand why I get upset so easily. It makes me so angry with myself. Will you forgive me?"
"Only if you can forgive me. But I don't know that you should. I shoulda never hared off and left you by yourself. I'll never forgive myself, I know that."
"Oh, Quint, I love you so much. I love that you take such good care of me. Please don't be upset with yourself. We had a spat. You reacted naturally. We just had bad luck is all."
He took her hands and pulled her to sit on their old creaking bed, facing him. "No more bad luck, Kitty. No more takin' chances for us. Clay is in jail now. You're leavin' your old life of takin' chances with your safety behind in in Dodge. No more dangerous living for my wife."
She nodded wordlessly, pressing her lips tightly together.
"I promise…" Quint declared, "I promise I will keep you safe."
She grasped his hands in her own. "I know you will, Quint."
He wiped the tears from her heated face with his palms, his heart caught in his throat.
She suddenly began sobbing anew, burying her face in her hands.
"What's the matter, honey? Everything's okay now, isn't it?"
"Oh, Quint!" she cried from behind her fingers. "I'm scared…"
"Scared a' what, honey? Clay's gone. He's in jail. He can't…"
"It's not that." She placed her hands on her belly, her liquid blue eyes wide as she stared at him beseechingly. "I can't feel the baby."
"What?" The hair rose on the back of his neck. "Whatta you mean?"
"I mean I can't feel the baby move. You know how he's been kickin' me and movin' around in there somethin' fierce for the past couple of months. He wakes me up in the middle of the night, punchin' me in the side."
"Yeah?"
"But I haven't felt so much as a twinge, not for quite a while now. Not since…" Her brows drew together thoughtfully. "Not since Clay threw me up against the wall of the carriage house."
Quint cursed under his breath, but took her hands in his and said reassuringly, "I'm sure the baby's okay. Maybe he's just takin' a little nap, huh?"
"The baby's never been still this long, Quint. It really scares me."
"Lemme see, honey." He began untying the sash of her dressing gown. She pulled it open, and he rubbed his splayed hands over her bare belly. "No marks, no bruises."
"What if something's wrong inside, Quint? What if the baby's hurt?"
He placed his palm on her cheek. "Kitty, you've come too long, suffered too much, to lose this baby now, honey. It's alright, I know it is."
She kissed his wrist as her eyes drifted closed. Then he cradled her belly between his big hands, rubbing, massaging her stomach. He asked, "I'm not hurting you, am I?"
"No," she said hoarsely, watching him.
"Wake up, little one…wake up…" He leaned over and kissed her swollen belly, murmured against her skin, "Just you wait and see how much fun you and me are gonna have together." He resumed carefully, slowly, insistently rubbing her belly.
"Be still…" Kitty suddenly whispered.
"What is it?" Quint asked.
"Just be still, Quint…" Her eyes were unfocused as she concentrated on the stirrings within her. She placed her hands on his and guided them to the side of her abdomen and held them there. "Can you feel it?" she whispered. Her eyes shone up at him.
His face broke out in a grin. "I sure do. That little feller packs quite a punch."
She nodded, her eyes filling with tears again.
Quint gazed at her, tucking long red tresses behind her ear. "I told you I'm not gonna let anything happen to you or this baby. I meant it. You two are the most important things in the world to me now."
Kitty smiled back at him, then bit her lip. She murmured, "Kiss me, Quint."
His lips brushed hers tenderly, his breath warmed her skin, the taste of him reassuring and thrilling at once. She kissed him back hungrily, urgently, glad to be alive, glad to be here with Quint in their bedroom, on their soft marriage bed. She kissed him until he lay her down and took her breath away with long, slow, sweet lovemaking. Kitty felt safe. She felt cherished.
ljljljljlj
"What about 'John'? For your father?" Kitty proposed, carefully folding cloth diapers. Lottie had shown her the different folds for newborns versus older babes, but there were also special folds for boys versus girls. She hadn't realized that when taking care of little Mary, simply managing the best she knew how. But Kitty would have to wait until the birth to know exactly how to best fold her baby's diapers. For now, she just settled for neatly stacking the squares of cloth in the top bureau drawer.
Quint paused in the nursery doorway, arms stretched around a large, slatted cherrywood cradle. "Where do you want this?" he grunted.
"Oh, sorry, Quint! Just set it over by the window so the baby can see outside." She'd easily decided on this small but charming room on the front of the house for the nursery. The corner of the room was rounded, extending into the second floor of the tower, and a cozy upholstered built-in bench lined the wall beneath sunny windows with white ruffled curtains. There were built-in bookcases lining each side of the small brick fireplace. Kitty planned on stuffing the shelves with books that she would read to her child. On one trip with Quint to the downtown bookshop, she'd already purchased The Owl and the Pussycat, A Child's Garden of Verses, and Grimm's Fairy Tales. The three volumes sat, expectantly waiting, on the top shelf. The thought of the hours she'd spend sitting in the rocker reading to her child before the fireplace or in the sunny tower windowseat made her stomach flutter with happy anticipation.
"This window?" Quint asked, leaning down and gently resting the cradle rockers on the wooden floor.
"No! That one next to the park. He can see trees and birds and have fresh air when the weather is nice. Look! There are two squirrels chasing each other in the park right now. I can see them from here. Won't that be nice for him to watch when he's a little older?"
"You mean when he's tall enough to see over the windowsill?"
She shot him an exasperated look, placing her hand on her hip.
"Okay, honey. You're right." He sighed and picked up the heavy, carved piece of furniture and moved it to a spot in front of the window where sunbeams shone down upon it.
Kitty gave him a crooked smile and offered a conciliatory, "Thank you, dear."
Quint placed his hands on his hips, gazing at her thoughtfully. "So I'm your 'dear' now? Not your hot-blooded…"
"Quint, we don't have time for that."
He looked at her innocently. "Time for what?"
She tilted her eyes up, "You know what I mean, Mr. Asper. Violet will be here any minute."
He took a step closer, smiling boyishly. "We can make it quick."
"Quint, we hafta answer the door and let her in. You haven't found that extra key for the backdoor yet, have you?"
"No, none of the ones on the key ring the agent gave me would…"
Kitty interrupted, "Besides, I think Violet's already suspicious."
"Suspicious? Of what?"
"Of us! Takin' so many 'naps' in the middle of the day!"
Quint sauntered the remaining distance between them, sidling up behind her, sliding his arms around her middle, nuzzling her cheek. "Why would that make her suspicious?"
She could hear the smile in his voice. "That damn bed has gotten so squeaky, it would be a bit hard for her to ignore."
He nibbled at her ear. "That bed was in perfectly good shape until we got ahold of it, you know."
"Oh, Quint, be serious." She tried not to laugh, shrugging her shoulder where he was tickling her neck with his attentions.
"I am serious. I take you very seriously, always. Oh… One thing I forgot. Violet wants you to go pick out some fabric for kitchen curtains. She's gonna make us some new ones."
"What's the matter with the old ones?"
"I don't know. But she wanted to make sure she got a color you'd approve of. I told her you could probably go tomorrow. Why don't you two go to a nice restaurant for lunch while you're at it?"
"Are you buyin'?"
"Yep. I'll spring for the curtains, too. Anything to make the ladies happy."
She suddenly stood very still, staring straight ahead.
After a moment, he asked, "What's the matter, Kitty?"
"Oh, nothin'. She tilted her head back to look into his eyes. "Nothin' at all. I was just thinkin'… I don't recall a time when all I had to worry about was what color curtains to hang in the kitchen, Quint."
He kissed her cheek softly. "You deserve this time, honey."
"Thank you, Quint." She closed her eyes and leaned back into him contentedly. Finally, she sighed, asking, "You don't like 'John'? How about 'Samuel'?"
He held her a little tighter. "You miss ol' Sam, don't you?"
Kitty couldn't answer aloud. She just nodded her head and tried to swallow the lump that rose in her throat.
"I think namin' him 'Sam' would be real nice, honey."
She hugged his arms, saying, "I think so, too."
Quint murmured in her ear, "Maybe we can name the next boy after my pa. Whatta you think?"
Kitty turned in his embrace, slipped her arms up around his neck, her fingers toying with his hair. She looked earnestly into his eyes. "You wanna have a baby with me, Quint?"
"Course I do. You're my wife. I want a family with you. Our family."
"'Cause this baby isn't your…?"
He lightly placed a finger over her lips. "It's not like that at all, sweetheart. I'll love this baby like it was my very own. It will be my own. I swear to you."
Kitty's forehead creased pensively. "There's really no other way, Quint. We can't tell this poor child he was conceived out of wedlock. I don't want him to hafta deal with that. Genteel society can be very unforgiving."
"Yeah." He grimaced. "I guess we've both experienced the back hand of 'polite society,' haven't we?"
"You can say that again," she answered, the corners of her mouth turning down.
"That's one of the reasons I've kept my Indian blood to myself. What people don't know won't hurt 'em, right?"
"I hafta agree with you on that. No sense in rockin' the boat if we don't have to. Quint, this baby's got no one else to turn to. You'll be his Papa? For his sake?"
"Or her sake," he smiled. "Of course, I will, Kitty. I'd be proud to. No one will ever know any different unless you tell 'em."
She lifted an auburn brow. "Well, I sure don't plan on… Oh!" Her hand flew to her stomach.
"What's the matter? Is somebody gettin' restless?" He rubbed her belly in the spot she had grabbed. "Settle down, little fella."
His words made the corners of her mouth curl up in contented amusement. She observed, "If it's a boy, I imagine he'll be strong as an ox just like Matt."
Quint froze, his mouth dropped open. "Matt?" Surely, she didn't mean that Matt was the father. What about all her horrific nightmares? Quint had always assumed Kitty had been attacked, that this baby was a result of her abuse. His mouth was dry as he tried to speak. "Whatta you mean, honey?"
"Well, boys tend to take after their fathers, don't they? If this is a boy, he'll grow tall as a…"
"You mean this is Matt Dillon's child? And Matt doesn't want him?" Quint fumed that his old friend would get Kitty pregnant and then abandon her. What the hell was Matt thinking?
Kitty's brows drew together. "Who else would it be, Quint? There's been nobody else. You know that."
"But, honey," he sputtered. "What about all those nightmares you used to have? What happened to you to make you dream such things? I heard you, and it was so real. That didn't come from your imagination."
The air rushed from her lungs at Quint's words. Cold fingers of dread stole over her body. She'd managed to block the traumatic memories these many happy months she'd spent with Quint, away from Dodge.
She slipped away from his embrace, walked to look out the window quietly. "I don't know if I can talk about it, Quint."
He quickly moved to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her chest and holding her against him. He couldn't see her face but knew she was troubled. "You don't hafta tell me if you don't want to, honey. I'm sorry. But I always assumed that you'd gotten pregnant when…" Quint trailed off awkwardly.
Kitty placed a hand on the arm embracing her. "It's alright, Quint. I can see how you'd misunderstand. But that happened…nearly two years ago." She gazed out the window, unseeing. "Hard to believe it's been that long. Seems like just yesterday."
A muscle in Quint's jaw twitched. "I'm so sorry you were hurt, sweetheart. I'd kill the bastard if I knew who it was."
Still she stared out the window, unmoving. Her voice was quiet; she spoke in a monotone. "It was more than one man. It was…Jude Bonner and his Dog Soldiers."
Quint felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. He didn't even know how to begin to respond.
"They kidnapped me, used me to try and force Matt to free Bonner's brother from the noose. It didn't work. The brother was hanged anyway." Kitty stared down at Quint's sleeve, toyed absentmindedly with a loose thread on his cuff. She spoke so softly, Quint had to strain to hear her. "So, Bonner wanted revenge. He and his men took it."
Quint's jaw tightened, his face darkened as he whispered, "Jesus, Kitty."
She murmured, "When they were done with me, they took me back to town, shot me in the back. Left me to die."
He tightened his embrace around her, kissed her hair, wondering, not for the first time, why the hell Matt Dillon hadn't retired and gotten Kitty out of that wild town, if for no other reason than to keep her safe. "I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. I swear…I'll do everything in my power to see nothin' like that ever happens again, Kitty." Clay Michaels' hateful face flashed in his mind, and Quint bitterly promised himself as well that he'd move heaven and earth to keep Kitty from harm. He'd never be so careless again.
Kitty suddenly moved, took a deep breath and turned her head to look at him. "I know, Quint. I feel safe here with you."
Quint felt the overwhelming need for Kitty to cut her ties with Dodge permanently. He asked, "Have you heard anything from the agent who's listed the Long Branch up for sale for you?" Quint felt the faster she distanced herself from Dodge and her old life, the safer she'd be.
"Yes," she replied as she bent her head to kiss the arm embracing her. "I forgot to tell you I got a wire while you were at work. A woman named Hannah Cobb, I think her name is, wants to travel to Dodge and take a look at it. Maybe she'll buy the place."
"I hope so, honey. I sure hope so."
ljljljljlj
"Quint, I'm home!" On the kitchen table, Kitty lay two bags filled with sweet potatoes to cook for supper plus a fragrant loaf of fresh bread. She and Violet had also stopped by the bookstore, and Kitty had purchased a new book for the nursery, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
Quint stuck his head out the bedroom door and called down the stairs, "I'm up here, honey!"
"Violet, I'm gonna run upstairs to talk with Mr. Asper for a minute, but then I'll come down and help with supper. Will you let Mo out for me?"
Violet lay a brown paper-wrapped package containing yellow fabric for the new kitchen curtains beside the bread. "Now don't you worry yourself with supper, Miss Kitty. I've got things well in hand. I bet you're all tuckered out after wandering all over creation with me. Come on, pup, out you go!" The elderly woman shut the door behind Mo's wagging tail and then carried the potatoes to the sink to wash, casting an eye over her shoulder. "Why don't you go up and have yourself a nice little…nap?" She cocked her head and gave a small smile.
Kitty froze, one foot on the bottom step. Did she detect a note of amusement in Violet's voice? Kitty sighed. Probably. She and Quint weren't fooling anyone, she reckoned. "Just maybe I will go take a nap, Violet." She gave Violet a wink before resuming her climb up the stairs. Kitty could have sworn she detected a chuckle as she went.
Quint was eagerly awaiting her as she puffed to the top.
"That's sure…" Kitty stopped a moment to catch her breath. "That's sure a heckuva lot harder to do nowadays."
"Well, you're carryin' around an extra person with you, honey. It's to be expected." Quint was grinning from ear to ear. Kitty thought he distinctly looked like the cat that ate the canary.
"What on earth are you up to, Quint Asper? I don't trust that look on your face."
"You know me too well," he smiled, expansively gesturing for her to enter their bedroom.
"Is somethin' gonna jump out at me?" she asked cautiously, unbuttoning her wool cloak and pulling it off her shoulders. Quint was quick to take it from her and lay it neatly over the back of a chair. Then he waited expectantly, eyes sparkling.
That's when she saw it. Their squeaky, rickety old bed was gone. In its place was a magnificent black cast iron bed, the biggest bed she'd ever seen in her entire life. Her hands flew to her face. "Oh, Quint!" she cried. "Oh my!"
He beamed, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets. "Is that all you got to say?"
"It's beautiful! Where did it come from? Is that why you had me go shopping with Violet? Oh, you! I knew somethin' was brewin'!"
He ambled closer, ducking his head a little shyly. "So…you like it?"
She slid her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek noisily. "I love it! Where did you get it?"
"I made it for ya'."
Tears unexpectedly sprang to her blue eyes. "You what? You made this fancy bed? But how…?"
"It's cast iron. I used molds. Then I finished it by hand."
"It must've taken you forever to make, Quint."
He nodded. "Yeah, it took a long time. But I happen to think you're worth it, Mrs. Asper." He grinned slyly and put his arm around her shoulders. "Wanna sit down? I needed to have the mattress special made. The man asked why I wanted a mattress so big, and I told him I had five children that all needed to sleep in one bedroom."
"Oh, Quint, you didn't!" Her eyes sparkled with merriment.
Quint led her to the bed, gestured for her to try it out. He held her arm as she lowered herself awkwardly to the mattress. He sat beside her, slipping an arm around her waist. He murmured, "Would you rather that I told him I wanted to have plenty of room to make love to my beautiful wife every day?"
"No, I would not!" She pretended to look scandalized.
He wiggled the mattress, adding, "And do it quietly."
She laughed out loud and threw her arms around his neck again.
Quint stroked his finger under her chin, his expression turned earnest. He murmured, "I want you to have the baby in this big ol' bed, honey."
She bit her bottom lip as tears burned her eyes again. She nodded quietly, unable to utter a word.
"And when I die, I wanna do it right here, with you sittin' beside me holdin' my hand. I wanna be with you forever, Kitty Asper."
Tears escaped her brimming eyes as she whispered, "I love you, Quint Asper. Now kiss me, before I burst into tears and ruin this moment."
"Beautiful lady, your wish is my command…"
tbc
ljljljljlj
