Thanks to Ally R. Swan and Dawofmorning for reviewing.

Hello i'm so sorry for not updating in months. From the middle of November on I've been working on oneshots, and several of them I'd started in 2012/2013. Anyway. Now those are finished. And now, as we're in 2021 I'm getting back to working on my stories as I usually do.

If there'll be a long A/N for this chapter? I just wanted to say that since the last chapter I finished a story and started some. And I'm not going to list them, if you're interested in them you can just go on my profile. But I just want to brag some about aaaaaaallllllllll the oneshots I've written.

-If I could only find the answer- Cobra Kai
-Words I could say, feelings I couldn't- Cobra Kai (Written for Epilepsy/ seizure/ SUDEP awareness and in memory of Pat Morita)
Could this really be the truth- Cobra Kai (AU right after the end of season 2)
-Different son, different dad- Cobra Kai
-The forgotten kitchen towel- O. C.
-Give my heart a break- The dumping ground
-Crazy famous wolfmoon- Harry Potter
-Second chances I never thought I'd have- Julie and the phantoms
-Secrets kept- Harry Potter
-Without you I'm in pain- Twilight
-A wealth bigger than all- Ghost whisperer
-All I want for Christmas- Annie (In memory of Ann Reinking and Albert Finney)
-Some things change, some do not- Julie and the phantoms
-Parents and children- Julie and the phantoms

Can you see I was a bit obsessed with Cobra Kai for a while?

Well, now we're here and happy new year. Hopefully 2021 won't be as bad as 2020.

"Come here, lay your arm up here."

The last time I had gotten blood drawn taken was still way too fresh in my memory. But at least Carole could do it and some part of me had learnt to trust her. Or well. Trust her more than I did more than anyone else at least.

Before I could meet whoever had stated to be my actual, biological family I was supposed to take a dna test and compare it to theirs.

If our DNA's matched then…

"Are you ready?"

Was I ready? ¨

Was I ready for the blood test or anything else?

Had my whole life led up to this moment.

"Yeah. Just get on with it."

The sooner she poked the needle through the skin of my arm the sooner it would be over.

At least that was what I kept telling myself when I tensed every little muscle in my body to force myself still while Carole drew the blood from my arm and into a small tube, one, two, three ones before she at last pulled the needle out off my arm and put a band aid on it.

"There might become a bruise there but even if there is it should be healed and gone within a couple of days at the most. There. All done! Well done."

Well done?

I wasn't so sure how this could have been well done. But when I remembered the time I had been here right after I came to Burt and Carole's. When they needed to know if I was allergic to anything.

And I remembered how I'd ripped the needle out with the tourniquet still on making the blood spurt, how I'd ran away from the ER and into the stairs. I remembered how I'd hidden in a storage room and met Keith. I remembered how a doctor had found me in the staff's lounge and I remembered how I'd been stuck to a bed with straps around my wrists and ankles no matter how much I screamed or kicked or fought until I had tired myself out.

Things had changed since then. The world around me had changed more than once to say the least. But I had too. And Carole walking next to me didn't make me want to run for my life.

"Hello Mike."

At the same moment that I and Carole came to her car and I opened the door of the passenger seat Mike sat up in the back seat where he was. I wished like so many times before I didn't get so terribly car seat. If I didn't then I could have sat in the back with him. Now I had to sit with my back against him even though he had crawled up so I could scratch him on the head.

None of us said anything on the whole way home.

Neither so when we got out of the car and inside.

What was there to say anyway? I was quite afraid what it would start if I mentioned anything about what was about to happen.

"Are you alright Cai?" Carole asked just as I was on my way to go upstairs. "You know you can talk to us about anything?"

"Yes of course."

Without anything else I went upstairs and sat down where I usually did on my bed. Mike crawled up next to me and I laid my arms around his neck.

It had been so long since I could enjoy another hug from another human being. But when I felt Mike's chin on my shoulderblade it felt comforting and I knew he'd keep me safe until the end…

It was like Mike could understand what I was going through. Because when I sat like this or he looked into my eyes ít made me feel like he did.

It felt like he did.

My thoughts were only about one thing.

I just want to stay here with Burt and Carole.

I'd just have to say that out loud.

And I wasn't sure that I could.

"Cai?" I had lost concentration and hearing towards the outer world and jumped when suddenly Carole was on the other side of my bedroom door and knocked. "Can I come in?"

What if, with everything going on, she and Burt can't take this and they'll kick me out?

"Yes."

I had had a lot of practice getting kicked out of places.

"They did it as soon as possible since we don't want to keep you hanging. Since I work at the hospital one of my friends called me up now with the results from the DNA test. They have compared yours to… well… you know who's…"

I had stood up when she came in. Now my legs were shaking so bad I sunk back and towards the bed not to fall.

"…whoever have been contacting the social services are your biological family."

She could just as well have dropped a bomb inside of me.

"Cai?" When none of us had had anything to say for minutes Carole spoke at last. "I know you've been let down a thousand times before. From the fostercare system, from so called parents and so called families. And it goes all the way to you…"

"I know all of that." I interrupted, and without meaning to sound as rude as I did. "I know all of that…" I repeated.

They hadn't wanted me when I was a newborn. And they hadn't come after me any time after that.

So why now?

Why when I had just found a place where I fit?

Why when I had finally found someone who took care of me?

Why?

Whom?

What?

When?"

I couldn't eat dinner that afternoon, and I couldn't sleep for the whole night. Every minute of the time passing I just laid with hands behind my neck and stared into the ceiling, Mike laid with his chin over my chest but for once I wasn't petting him.

Why do you think they did it Mike?"

At last, just as the sun started rising as night went into new day I ran a hand over Mike's head and asked that one question that was bigger than all others.

"Why did they just give me up like that?"

I watched the numbers on the alarm clock on the bedside table go by. Number for number.

As much time that had passed by before. And yet I had no idea I'd be here today. And yet I had no idea where I'd be today.

If my biological family had looked me up now, what did they want with me? Did they want me to trust them after what they had done to me? Did they want me to come live with them and forget all places I'd lived before?

Did they expect me to forget what they had done and just go on with them in my life?

There was only one thing I could do I knew.

But how was I supposed to say out loud to another human being what I wanted?

And what if they didn't want the same?

But they obviously had never wanted the same for me before. Not when they gave me up and not once during all the years I had wanted for them to come search me up.

Every second felt like a minute. Every minute felt like an hour and every hour like a lifetime all of that morning.

If there had been anything to make time pass by. But there just wasn't. I couldn't eat breakfast. I couldn't talk to anyone- there was nothing left that hadn't been said.

Officer Max, that we had actually now gotten used to having there sat on the porch and looked up. He was on his way to say something, but I (And Burt) only looked at him. He shut his lips tight, gave Mike a pat on his neck and didn't say anything more.

I couldn't help but remember the first time I had been here, a story of Burt and Carole seemed just like everybody else before them. Something without Mike and me being terribly car sick and vomitting down the whole car seat.

And they weren't angry.

I didn't get quite as car sick anymore. It would probably never be gone but maybe I actually knew for real there was no way Toby could take me in his.

Still I was in the front seat the whole way to the social services just like everywhere else before Burt pulled up.

"I guess this is it."

"Yeah…" I said, without feeling in my voice- if I had I might have broken down and started screaming. "Let's go."

Burt came around the car and opened the door for me. I couldn't keep my hands still enough to open it myself.

"See you later Mike."

I had never wished so badly I could take him with me…

A blonde woman I hadn't met before came and met us in the reception.

"Hello. You must be Caitlin Romero. My name is Melissa Grays and I will be your social worker from now on."

I could only hope she would be something else than Mrs. Smalls or any other of the social workers that I had ever had.

"Why couldn't Ellie… Ellie Mohr be her one social worker. Like she used to be… before?"

"We have some new knowledges and circumstances that we haven't had to care for before. Now when we know and have to care for them Ellie can no longer be your social worker. And it would also be a good thing if you guys try and not have any contact at all.

I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

What was going on now? And why was I finding this out now when she had obviously known before.

"Come with me…" Mrs. Grays led us through the hallway of the social services and into a small room that looked like a living room with a table and couches, an arm chair and shelves aroundd the walls with all kinds of things in them.

"Now. I do get it if you… Caitlin…"

"Cai."

"…want these two to be a part of everything. But I'm afraid they'll have to leave now and you and I have to go through some things about your biological family and what's going to happen now."

Yes. I wanted them to stay.

I had never in my life wanted as much as I did now and yet no one was listening to me.

Then, how were they supposed to listen when I couldn't talk?

"No one's going to make you do anything without asking or telling you about it first. And if it's going too fast then you just have to shout stop and we'll find another way to do it"

I only looked back on the social worker who looked very distressed.

Seriously? The social services seemed to have made it their decision to make everything as bad for me as they possibly could. And every time I tried to say something myself about it I ended up making everything myself and made everything worse.

"I have all of their names and ages and a little background information here." She riffled in her papers. "Do you want to start by just reading them aloud to know if there's maybe someone of them you already know. You might, this is a small town."

The thought that I might have actully met one or some of them without knowing about it was strange.

"Go on."

Mrs. Grays took her papers again and took a deep breath before she answered.

"Just interrupt me if you need or hear something you recognize… Your parents' names are Jay and Kelly."

All my life I had been wondering about those…

Along with so much else…

Was I an only child? Was one of my parents sick somehow? So they couldn't understand that it was wrong to lie a baby in a basket and letting it go with the stream?

"You came from a big family. You have several siblings. There's a pair of twins, then one other, and then a group of triplets. Or fourtuplets more likely- the three and you."

Had I really been a part of a sibling-group all my life without knowing about it?

Why had I been given up when obviously none of them had?

"The twins' names are Mason and Grace. They're going on eighteen years old. Then there's your older brother Ryan who is almost sixteen, then there's you. And your fourtuplet- siblings Liam, JJ and Charlie and you're obviously the same age. Even though they're literally born one day after you."

Well I had known I was born right before midnight…

"Did you notice with your siblings that every other is a girl, and every other a boy?"

I just shrugged. There had been more important things to think about than genders.

"Their last name isn't the same as yours. And they've asked to keep their identities private from you until you meet."

My whole mind felt like it was spinning. My whole life going by for my inner vision.

Did I really want to meet the people that had left me to all of this? What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say?

Was I supposed for my whole, terrible lifetime?

"Your mum is in a wheelchair and paralyzed from waist down. She was in a car crash when she was pregnant with you and your three."

It felt strange and wrong in some way that I had been a part of a whole group. Yet I had been the one to be left out. Why?

"Caitlin… No one will make you do this. Are you sure you want to?"

I wasn't sure about anything. But right now I knew so much about them… If I ever met one of them except for here I would know and it would be weird.

"I want to."

"Well. We were thinking that now you know more you might want to let it sink in properly. But still meet them as soon as soon as possible. So we've put a meeting already tomorrow. Right here, in this room at noon."

The following twenty six hours went both very fast and very slow. One second I wanted to know who would be coming, the next second I didn't want to know for anything in the world.

It was good what Mrs. Grays had said. That I needed to let it sink in. But at the same time waiting for time to pass and think…

And think….

And think…

And not knowing what to think…

I couldn't neither eat or sleep. But then at last, back in the same room I had been in yesterday I couldn't keep still, so without a word I got up, paced a few steps in one direction, back again and then slumped back into the chair.

And then, all of a sudden the door to the room opened and in came the people that I had just found out to be my parents…

Random fact

I'm probably doing a whole lot of wrong. But I'm making everything to suit the story and try to make it seem just a tiny little realistic.

But now, what's sgoing on with Ellie and why shouldn't she and Cai see each other?