Sesshomaru was back to his cold exterior, walking some distance ahead of them. She had helped him dress that morning and then secured his new armor in place but he stopped acknowledging her do casually since that morning. A small part of Ivanna was grateful that he had actually listened, but it made her feel hollow.
She had told Tooru she wouldn't be heartless and ended up lying, but didn't have any courage to change things now. If she tried, she would have to explain why she did it in the first place and tell him the truth of the conversation she had with Tooru. If events took place the same, despite different outcomes, there was a high possibility that she knew the day that she could die. It made her want to withdraw completely from her pack mates, but if she withdrew from Rin, more questions would be asked.
She looked over at Rin as she sat on Ah-Un's back. She had been talking all day and now as the sun was starting to get low, she was adamantly talking about her excitement for spring to come even though it was winter and Ivanna was holding onto the dragon's reigns, enjoying hearing her talk. Jaken a few paces ahead of them practically on Sesshomaru's tail.
"Vann, are you well?" Rin asked, pulling her from her current thoughts.
"Just thinking, little one," Ivanna smiled as she touched Rin's cheek.
"Did you have a fight with Lord Sesshomaru? You seem sad today."
"I am okay, Rin. It was just a rough morning."
"Can Rin ask why your heart caused you pain?"
"That is my sickness. When I was a little younger than you, I had collapsed and became very ill," Ivanna started, figuring that if she started from the beginning, she possibly could get her to fully understand. "My parents took me dozens of different healers that claimed to be the best before they found that a sickness resided in my heart. Where I'm from, they were able to replace my heart with another from a man that had just died. For a few years, it lasted before I started to become ill again and the pain started. If I cannot control it's steady beat, the pain happens so I have to be careful."
"Could they not give you another heart?"
"Not this time. My illness worsened too much to be able to, but I have gotten to experience so much that I never would have. Even with the heart I carry now, my healers did not think I would live as long as I have so even though I deal with constant pain, I am happy."
"Does that mean you don't know how long it will last?" Rin asked, tears threatened to fall.
"Even if my heart gave out tomorrow, I would go smiling. The only thing I will regret is what you may go through. Just remember this, Rin, even if you cannot see me, I will always be here," Ivanna smiled as pointed to Rin's chest. "As long as you keep smiling, even death would not be able to keep me away from seeing your beautiful smile."
"Rin... will try," Rin sniffed as she rubbed her eyes.
"That's all I ask," Ivanna smiled and climbed up behind her and wrapped her arms around the girl. Bringing her hands in front of Rin so she would see, Ivanna signed, 'Smile, even if it hurts, because others will be hurting too. They won't be able to accept it like you'll be able to.'
'Like Lord Sesshomaru?' Rin signed back.
'Especially him.'
"I won't disappoint you, Vann."
"I know you won't," Ivanna whispered as she glanced up at the Inuyoukai she cared about as he glanced her way.
"Jaken, set up camp," his cold voice ordered. "Come, Onna."
Ivanna pressed a kiss to Rin's brow before sliding off Ah-Un and walked after him as Jaken started complained to himself. They walked for some time until long after she could no longer hear Jaken's froggy voice. When he stopped, it was near a river that a few dozen feet away dropped into a waterfall, meaning that they were near a cliff.
"What has changed, Ivanna?" He spoke coldly, facing the water and she sighed, wrapping her arms around her waist as she leaned against a tree. "You hid your pain from the child and lied to her and called this one annoying pet names, now do the opposite."
"You were able to see her reaction this morning. Do you really think that I would have been able to play that off as nothing? To continue lying to her after she watched you dig your claws into my abdomen to wake me?" Ivanna scoffed as she looked up at him. "I died three weeks ago and she didn't even know. How would she have reacted if Ah-Un had failed and someone else told her that you killed me without knowing the situation of my heart? I couldn't keep lying to her after all that."
"But you'll lie to this one?"
"Yes," she spoke simply as she turned her head away from him and stared off into the woods.
"Why?"
"Because of the fact that I don't hate you," Ivanna whispered after several long minutes trying to think of the right thing to say. "In my thinking, it is my way to protect you..."
"That does not make any sense."
"I didn't say the idea of lying to you was perfect. Despite you being able to smell the lies, I thought that if I could convince you that I hated you, you'd stop caring..." She stopped talking as she felt a tear fall and rubbed her eye to inconspicuously to and wipe it away as she saw him turn towards her
"What are your true feelings, Ivanna?"
"I've not doing this," she shook her head and turned to walk back towards camp when his arm came around her waist, stopping her. "I thought I told you to stop pushing..."
"It causes this one concern when you silently tell the child to continue smiling because you think that this one will not be able to handle when you die."
"Damn you," she muttered before falling silent as she felt him press his nose against her neck.
"Tell me, Ivanna."
"No," she gritted her teeth as she felt him kiss the pulse in her neck. "You can punish me for disobeying if you must, but you will not get the answers you demand of me."
"To protect this one?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I care more than I should as one who serves you."
"You are part of this one's pack."
"So is Jaken and I don't see you snuggling up with him," she scoffed and heard him snort in amusement. "But then again, you're always stepping on him... Is that your way of showing him affection...?"
"Chose your next words carefully," he growled before she felt his teeth graze across her skin.
"Hn," she responded, mockingly. "You cannot keep using that excuse when we both know that you also are lying to yourself about this."
"And if this one were to tell you this truth right now?"
"Then that answer would become a liability," she whispered, almost inaudibly knowing that he would hear.
"You know this?" He spoke, turning her around to face him.
"No," she whispered truthfully as she placed her hand on his haori and over his heart, just above his armor, "but if this enemy you hunt now is as vile as I've been told, they would not be above doing so."
"Hn," she felt him sigh as his hand came up and covered hers.
"I should go change my bandages..." she moved to step back but his hand closed around hers gently, stopping her and she saw a small amount of confusion in his eyes. "You didn't realize how deeply your claws went, do you?"
"They still bleed?"
"And very tender, so..."
"Will you allow this one to check?"
"Why? Nanu said they'd be fine..."
"This Sesshomaru creates a poison with our claws."
"You think you could have poisoned me?"
"Or possible residue, yes."
"And if so, what would we do?" She frowned.
He didn't respond but she saw a slight furrow in his brow as she untied her obi and opened her three layered kimono, revealing her armor. Instead of corset straps, there were now toggle buttons from hem to collar. She undid half of the buttons and held the dragon skin out of the way as he knelt down in front of her and undid the bandages carefully. Feeling his claws light touch her skin, she tried to suppress the shivers that went up her spine, but as he glanced up her, she knew he noticed.
She watched as he examined the five puncture wounds, prodding each hole carefully as she felt blood start to ooze down slowly. After several more long seconds of him poking her stomach, he brought his head down and she gasped as she felt his tongue run up her abdomen. She stumbled back and his arm came around her to rest on her lower back against her skin, holding her still as he licked her wounds and cleaned up the blood that was leaking. Needed something to hold onto as he took his time, she gripped his shoulder while her other hand kept her clothing out of the way.
"You're enjoying this a little too much," she whimpered, her breathing slightly faster.
"This Sesshomaru was merely cleaning them thoroughly," he mused as he wrapped the bandages around her waist with her help to hold the ends in place.
"Uh-huh," she muttered as he got back to his feet. She quickly fixed her clothing and retired her obi before turning to return to camp before he came up with some other reason to delay her.
"Are you running away from this one?" He spoke and she could hear the humor in his voice.
"Absolutely," she snorted, not even glancing at him.
"What happened when you ingested this ones blood?"
"Wha...?" She tripped on a tree root and caught herself, using the trunk of a tree.
"Do not make this one repeat the question?"
"Um... an immediate high... like when you fed me your Youkai..." she whispered, remembering the euphoric feeling and dug her fingers into the bark as she suddenly felt weak. She did not want to become an addict by taking in that was a part of the inuyoukai behind her. "My body felt light and numb at the same time... my mind would go blank and not be able to focus on anything easily. As interesting as that feeling was, I would rather not become addicted to it like one would to drugs."
"Then why are you gripping that tree so tightly?" She flinched as she felt his breath on her ear as his voice came from beside her.
"Thinking of it brought out some intense feelings," she breathed, feeling her neck tickle as he stood behind her, "and you breathing down my neck is not helping."
"We can tell."
His hand suddenly came around and pressed his hand against her lower abdomen. She groaned as the strange heat she had only felt once before coil in her abdomen where his hand was. A growl from the inuyoukai vibrated through her body before she felt that heat spread to her inner thighs.
"Wha... what are you doing...?" She whimpered, her knees shaking as she clung to the tree to keep herself standing.
"It gets better," he growled, his voice deeper.
"You know that I would not handle where I know it could lead. Besides, you are pushing again..."
"And if this one had a theory that would allow you enjoy such?"
"N...no... no more testing your theories. I told you to stop and lock this all away..."
"Then you need to control yourself," he breathed as he buried his nose against her neck and she suddenly felt her obi loosen. "After all, 'Maru can easily smell when you become aroused and since we are also drawn to your scents, it is too easy to take over."
"'Sho... go back to your damn cage!" She snapped.
She tried to move so she could push him away but her breath caught in her throat as she suddenly felt his hand inside the layers of her kimono and pressed against her heated core. She felt his fangs pierce the junction of her neck and cried out weakly as her knees buckled. He followed her down as she fell to her knees, keeping his jaw locked around the muscle he had bitten into and felt the euphoria engulf her, any pain forgotten. Gasping as she felt his hand suddenly against her skin, she brought her hand and tried to pull his away despite the high as he fed his Youkai into her.
Feeling his hand slide down inside of her pants and following the inner curve of her hip, she whimpered. She was barely able to control her body and no where near strong enough to even get him to budge. A sound escaped her as his fingers touched touched the hypersensitive nub of her clit that sounded like a breathy moan but being new to any of these sensation, she wasn't quite sure. Her breaths were quickly turning into quiet pants as she felt a hardness as he pressed his hips to her backside and he growled, rubbing that hardness against her backside.
His hand slid down further and she could feel his fingers wiggling against her skin that was slowly becoming wet before a gasp escaped her and her body stiffened as he slid a finger inside of her core. He pulled his finger almost all the way out before pumping it back in, a moan escaping her as she gripped the tree tightly. Soon, she felt another enter her and his fingers started moving faster inside of her as his thumb rubbed her clit.
Soon she was only gasping for air as she felt like she was going to explode and he let out a vicious growl that shook her before soon her world went white. All movement stopped and she lost all feelings from the waist down as his fangs finally let go of her neck to let out a sound that reminded her a little of a victorious howl. She felt herself fall backwards into the pushy and horny inuyoukai behind her since her knees no longer supported her.
Only knowing that he had pulled his hand back by the feel of her clothing moving, she groaned as she let herself fall to the side so she could lay on the cold ground, despite the awkward positioning of her lower half and her clothing. She laid her head on her sleeve while covering her face with the other, not wanting to know which was in control now as she felt tears soak into her sleeves. His breaths were irregular but that was the only would she could hear from the inuyoukai who had pushed her once again.
