Chapter Fifty-Eight

A Fond Farewell


(Rated M for language, Y'all - happy new year)


We camped out at the Ironwood grove after clearing it. Alistair had shouted, "Just like old times," when I rushed the ogre.

That night, Bela sauntered into my room and looked around with a whistle, "Impressive, Kitten – you said you had the piercing kit and barbells?"

I handed the two items to the pirate and Alistair sat watching us as I sat on the bed with a relaxed manner.

She was completely professional – sexual jokes and all.

It reminded me of when I got my nose pierced back when I was 20. The stud had been too small and kept falling out – the hole closed up and I hadn't gotten it re-pierced at all. The artist then had also made a lot of jokes – and was more inked up than the Mona Lisa with enough metal to build a rifle. She had been really good looking and asked me out after – I had only declined because I had been dating my first husband at the time and hadn't known he held no real interest in me.

"Kitty, just what can you do with a tongue piercing – I never saw the point." She shook her head as she prepped the needle.

"Oh I can do a lot with it – it can stimulate the clit or dick during oral, it can be great stress relief to annoy others when you click it against your teeth, and it can even be a religious symbol. There are reasons not to get them done too – but I've had one before, so I know I can take care of it and I already checked my tongue so I know this body can have one too. Normally it wouldn't heal for about a month… but we have Anders."

I had given her a sterling silver barbell with mother of pearl for the ball to put in my tongue. My husband smiled at me when I glanced at him – I was so glad he didn't find anything wrong with me inking up and getting pierced all the time.

Bela smirked, "You plan to annoy us with this?"

"Not really – more like… I have ADHD – I can't sit still to save my damn life; I have to fidget and move. Clicking the piercing against my tongue actively helps relieve the urge to do something. The H in ADHD stands for hyperactive; hyper meaning very high, while hypo means very low – hypoglycemia, for example, means low blood sugar and needing to eat often. My husband and son also had ADHD; but they were both Autistic too. We had to be doing something. For me, that meant, writing or reading or playing games; for Alex, that meant… working out," I explained.

I wasn't sure how to explain virtual reality in a word that had no virtual aspect. Alex had played a VR shooting game called Horseshoes, Hotdogs & Hand-Grenades; H3 for short. Sometimes he played Skyrim VR or some other shooting game that I didn't know the name of.

Alistair coughed, "You have a thing for men who can't sit still, don't you?"

I shot him a confused look, "Fenris can sit still…"

"Cullen can't – and neither can I. In the Templars, that's actually a bad thing; because we spend long hours standing in one place watching people walk by or sitting at a desk doing paperwork. I noticed Cullen spends more time training troops than being on Watch Duty. And no – Fenris cannot sit still either. When it looks like he is, he's shifting his fingers or toes constantly to keep something moving. I asked him about that – if he stays immobile too long, he feels his memories regressing. He has to move to stay sane."

I blinked – wow… I hadn't known that. I stuck my tongue out and contemplated the new information as Bela stabbed gently through my tongue – careful to pierce the proper spot.

A bit of drool leaked out – just like last time I got my tongue pierced; embarrassing when you are with a hot girl. It pinched – but didn't hurt too much.

I mean, it was weird having her holding my tongue while she stabbed at it, but it was actually a bit numb afterword.

I pulled up a washcloth to catch the drool as I saw Alistair head for the door to call Anders.

Bela then moved to take care of my eyebrow – I hardly felt that one while I was focusing on my tongue. Anders came into the room and saw what we were doing. He blinked, "You were serious?"

I felt the cooling sensation of him healing my tongue and left eyebrow while I smirked at him, "Fuck yes – I wanted my tongue piercing back; it was one of the few things that didn't come with me when I died. It feels like a missing hole in my tongue – I want to make the click-clack, but nothing there to make the click-clack! I didn't have my eyebrow done before, but I figured that now was the time! Now if only I knew someone who could do tattoos…"

Alistair snorted, "No."

"But he's a professional!"

"He wanted to bed you; no," Alistair said firmly.

"Bela – tell him Zev wouldn't!"

She laughed, "Kitty, he would certainly flirt while he had you half naked and under his hands. He is a professional and wouldn't do anything while he worked, but he would look and tease quite a bit. He did the one on my butt."

I stilled and gave her a curious look, "What does that one look like?"

"You'll have to find out. Alistair, Zev wouldn't touch her inappropriately while he tattooed her; he does have some standards. He also doesn't do non-consensual – play or otherwise. If she says no, then he might tease, but he won't touch her."

Alistair pursed his lips but sighed, "You can't go looking for him – if he's in the area, then fine, but I don't want him getting the wrong idea simply because you search him out."

I smiled at him, "Deal!"

Bela sniggered and I shot her a wink; we both knew that if I had really asked, Alistair wouldn't have fought it… this was more of a show.

I shuddered, "When we get back to Kirkwall, I am… eager to have fun with you and Bela…"

He wrinkled his nose, "I don't know why you insist on taking other women to our bed – I mean, if you really want another woman, Cullen, Fenris and I can discuss you taking a woman as a secondary mate granted your fourth mate is male too… but you keep pulling me into it…"

I shrugged, "For one thing, I do like women and haven't had a woman since Morrigan. Before that, it had been a few years too. For another, I haven't er… married the others yet and prefer to be with one of you when I'm with someone else – even though I have permission, I do feel more comfortable with you there. And for another thing… well, you have to share me…"

He sighed, "I don't mind it when it's Cullen or Fenris you are with, my love – you know I get very… what did you call it; territorial… around others. I love you; and if this is your way of trying to get me to take a mistress or something – forget it. I told you that I only want you. I will discuss the other matter with the other princes at a more appropriate time in the future."

I frowned, "You really don't want anyone else?"

"How could I want anyone else? I have you, Ara – and you are more than enough."

Bela wrinkled her nose, "You two are going to make me sick with such sugary talk – I'm out of here."

Anders sniggered and followed her out. I laughed and motioned to Alistair, "Come kiss me."

He did.


The next day when we got back to Kirkwall… was one of Cullens' date days. I waited anxiously to see if Cullen would come by as usual. The later into the day it got, the more depressed I was.

Alistair was frowning at the front door as though it had offended him – and even Fenris seemed broodier than normal. It was beginning to get dark out when Alistair snapped, "You're both coming with me."

Isabela looked confused, "Where are we going, sweetness?"

"To make Cullen so jealous that it hurts – because he's hurting Ara by staying away with no word," Alistair growled.

Fenris snorted, "I am coming too… as protection."

"Sounds Legit," I commented drily. Varric – from his spot at the table – choked on his drink.

The five of us – Fenris, Alistair, Bela, Varric and I – all got to the Gallows. Alistair looked at Bela, "Whatever I do or say, I want you to play along like you are Ara's lover and plan to be her lover for years to come – I don't care if you act like I'm sleeping with you too, but you keep up as her lover."

Bela threw an arm around my shoulder, "I've wanted to bed her for over a year, sweetness – this is easy."

"You're easy," I snipped at her. She beamed at me, "You're feisty when you're upset, kitty – it's adorable."

I stuck out my tongue and she kissed my cheek. It was then that I saw Cullen approaching us hesitantly.

"King Alistair, Ar… Mistress Cousland – is there something you're here for?"

I muttered a soft 'fuck it,' before saying, "I heard mages could make vibrating toy phalluses – I wanted to buy a few."

Alistair almost tripped and Cullen went red. Isabela looked interested, "Ooh – I heard of those; most nobles won't be seen buying them, but they are worth the pretty coins they cost. I had three on my ship before it went down."

Fenris was also lightly red – though his expression didn't betray him like Varrics' did. Cullen coughed, "Er… My Lady, what…?"

Alistair recovered, "We plan to take Bela to bed again and wouldn't you know it, she likes having more than one… ahem… but we only have one of me, and Fenris declined our invitation, so… here we are."

I rolled my eyes, "I happen to like that too, Alistair. It's actually called double penetration – it's a womans' fantasy threesome in most instances. Some men enjoy having something in them while they lay with a woman too."

"Zevran would agree, Kitty – and it is so hot to see a man being taken while he's having fun with you." Bela leaned in and kissed me sweetly, "Do you really plan to keep me, kitten…?"

"Like a pet," I commented sarcastically. Alistair shook his head, "You see what you've started? She was already insatiable, Bela."

Bela played a hand, "It isn't my fault that the Captain left her hanging – she waited for him, but that just gave me opportunity to get her drunk. She's so much more fun drunk; she got you to agree, didn't she?"

Alistair swallowed, "I'd do anything for her – even taking other women to bed when I don't particularly find it appealing. This is the second time she has asked and I have agreed. How can I say no when she misses the touch of another woman?"

Cullen finally broke in, "Waited… for me?"

Fenris glared, "You did not come to the house today – she was upset."

I looked down – suddenly losing all playfulness at the reminder that I had screwed up my relationship with Cullen.

Bela passed me off to Alistair and rounded on Cullen, "Do you find her less desirable after her confession – dirty or used, perhaps? Let me tell you – I've seen body slaves who struggle with that; finding freedom to be a burden as no one wants to touch them anymore."

Before she could really get into the rant, Cullen cut her off, "What? That's not… Makers' Breath… I only wished to give her time. I thought she… was upset that I… brought that to light. It's been spread all over Kirkwall – and I know some people sent out letters about it. I feared it was my fault that her reputation has been thoroughly destroyed…"

A sob slipped past my lips – I had been so rash that day. It wasn't like I had hidden the knowledge, but… Alistair held me tightly and said, "Then shouldn't you have come to her and said that? Cullen, she thought you viewed her as many back in her homeland did – unworthy and tarnished. She didn't realize that all of Kirkwall was now aware – we've been out of the city until today; only rushing and coming back because it was your day to come over."

Cullen paled, "You didn't know? There were many nobles here that day – and as much as I wish it were not so, Templars gossip too. Darktown to Hightown – everyone knows by now."

I sighed and looked away, "Then I guess I can understand your reluctance to continue our relationship, given what you know of me. I'm not actually sleeping with Bela, by the way – I mean, I will tonight, but…"

Cullen stammered, "Y-you… weren't mad at me…?"

"No – I was wasn't completely myself that day and… I wanted to apologize…" I sighed.

"Please; I was out of line. You were right about the mages still being people – and I was treating them like tools to be used and discarded. I hope this hasn't ended our relationship – I do still wish to court you…" he was shooting glances at Bela that were a mix of jealousy and embarrassment.

I gave Cullen a hopeful look, "You do?"

"I do – very much. It might be easier if I didn't constantly put my foot in my mouth, however," his voice was wry and self-mocking. I gave a relieved giggle, "Then… I would very much like it if we continued our relationship… and can you show me where to buy those toys? I was serious about wanting one…"

His face flamed as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I-I… don't actually know; that was not something I was told…"

Meredith was heading our way now – someone must have told her the Ferelden Whore was here. Her eyes were narrowed as she approached us. I groaned, "Don't look now, but trouble has chosen to show its face and rear its head."

Cullen and Alistair both looked. Fenris coughed, "Knight-Captain, I was hoping you would take up sparing with me sometimes – I understand you were trained in the broadsword?"

He had timed that question just right – it was what Meredith heard as she reached us. Cullen nodded, "That is correct – I switched to the Sword and Shield after taking my vows to the order and the Kinlock Uprising. I'm sure we can arrange some time to… Knight-Commander, Lady Cousland had an inquiry."

Meredith glared at me, "Lady Cousland," her voice dripped with disdain and mockery, "What can we do for you?"

"I want to buy sex toys," I said clearly – with her arrival came many other people. Fuck it though – they were already calling me a whore so I was going to own it.

She looked taken off guard, "I beg your pardon?"

"Well there's no need to beg for it – I'm no dungeon mistress… you'd do better to beg to Alistair; he's more dominant. But I said that I wished to buy those magic sex toys I keep hearing about – the ones that vibrate or heat and cool… we had similar things in my homelands that operated without magic, but alas… I can't find them anywhere. I can find all the other dungeon toys – whips, handcuffs, tie-downs, chocolate sauce, naughty clothing – but I can't find a single decent dildo. Alistair will buy me a few here for an early Satanalia gift since he won't be here for that." I kept my face as neutral as possible while discussing this.

Bela looked interested, "How is Chocolate Sauce a bedroom toy, kitten?"

"I was planning to dribble it on you and lick it off. Alcohol is also good in the bedroom – take a shot, hold it in your mouth for a moment then go down on a guy; it gives a very nice effect. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac anyway – so… with those piercing you have, that will also make things more fun if we add chocolate."

Alistair groaned, "She did that thing with the alcohol once… Maker – I swear I saw the golden city before it was over."

Fenris asked, "I've never heard of that before – is it quite popular?"

"Only among the depraved – but then… America was full of the depraved. Our alcoholic drinks were all named funny things – sex on the beach, blowjob, X-rated foreplay, Ménage à Trois, buttery nipple, redheaded slut, blue balls, and the list is seriously endless because people keep coming out with more of these sexual themed drinks. America was full of perverts and heathens. It wasn't even the sexiest place in the world either; France – a place like Orlais with the language at least – was better. The French language was called the 'language of love' – and they even had a kiss named after them… so did Australia," my smirk was coy.

"What were those kisses, Kitty?" Bela asked with twinkling eyes.

"Well – I would need a volunteer to demonstrate the French kiss…" I hummed. Cullen jumped, "I will… assist you…"

Meredith looked at him in confused surprise, "I thought you were no longer courting Lady Cousland…"

"That was never said – I simply thought we were in a quarrel and I was wrong." He muttered and came close to me, gathering me into his arms.

"So – we start with a regular kiss…" he leaned in and kissed me. I nipped at his lower lip and he gasped – fuck yes, I took it further. This was a teaching moment after all.

Bela laughed, "So it's like… all tongue?"

I was flushed as I pulled back – Cullen was a damn good kisser and he caught on fast. I cleared my throat, "Yeah it… it is. An Australian kiss is only done on a female… because it exactly the same as French kiss… but down under if you get what I'm saying…" I motioned to her lower area.

"How does that make sense?" Alistair shook his head, "Why is it called an Australian kiss?"

I chuckled, "Because Australia was called the Down Under or the Outback. If you go 'Down Under' then you were saying you were going to Australia. There many such phrases that were related to sex – eating at the Y was the same as that kiss because the junction of a womans… you get what I'm saying right?"

Cullen was glowingly red. He cleared his throat, "Er… commander she… wanted to make a purchase?"

Meredith frowned, "This way, Lady Cousland."

I chuckled, "Call me Ara, Meredith – we all know you see me as no different to a whore; and I suppose I could be called a slut since when I fuck, I don't do it for money."

She snorted, "Don't you?"

"Alistair, my beloved – have you ever once gifted me anything because we were sleeping together and you used it as payment for my services – or did I fuck you without expectation of getting paid?"

"Makers' Breath – it's difficult to get you to accept name-day gifts; the only reason you're letting me pay for this is because I got you to agree without realizing you agreed."

"Outsmarting me is a worthy reason to allow you to spend money when I'm already rich on my own." I smirked.

"Right – I can't get you to accept gifts, let alone money. I had to negotiate like mad to get you to let me buy the house."

"And then you went and bought the biggest, most expensive house in Kirkwall! Is it any wonder that I'm reluctant to allow gifts when you do that?" I flushed.

Varric sniggered, "Feathers, most women would throw themselves at the feet of men who did that for them…"

"I'm not most women – I'm the mom-friend; I take care of my friends and prefer to sort of suffer in silence if there is something I want but can't get…" I muttered.

Cullen sniggered, "What kinds of things can't you get?"

"I can make tea and soap… I can't make chocolate or crème fillings; I miss orange flavored crème wrapped in dark chocolate. It's something I don't… get… from my homelands because it doesn't taste the same after the shipping process for some reason. I also like raspberry filled ones with milk chocolate. And I miss a few other things that this land just can't do or sustain." I wept at times for my Kindle E-Reader with the thousands of books I had bought over my life; if I couldn't remember the name of a book now, I was screwed to have to wait until I did remember so that I could read it; my bag was specific in that regard.

Cullen and Alistair both got glints in their eyes, but Fenris said, "I can make chocolate and crème filling – Denarius had a sweet tooth. Simply get me a recipe and… help me read it if it is in that one language… and I will make these chocolates for you."

My eyes lit up and I threw my arms around his neck as I hugged him – he caught me easily though he was heavily surprised as I kissed him on each cheek, "Honey, those chocolates were my go-to when I was depressed – you'd be surprised what I would do for them. You wanted a new sword – let's get you a new sword while we're here!"

Alistair gaped, "Ara – you've never been so enthusiastic about something like this…"

My eyes were twinkling as I said, "I'm serious – I would straight up trample someone for those chocolates. Ugh – they were the only thing that got me through the womanly time of the month when I still had those. I'm telling you; you want to be my best friend then get me those chocolates."

I rummaged through my bag for a recipe and happily sighed when I pulled out three – for the Dark Orange and the Milk Raspberry small ones, and the orange flavored/shaped ones from the Terry brand that I could only get around Christmas time. I looked over the ingredients diligently – happy that Fenris had a previously unknown ability to make chocolate. It was a huge waste when I tried to do it – the chocolate always ended up bitter or worse.

I was humming happily as I clung to Fenris' hand. Varric was sniggering, "You're actually really easy to please, aren't you, Feathers?"

"Uh-huh – I used to joke with my husband before the fire… I'm totally buy-sexual; buy me food and I get sexual. He capitalized on that often," I said absently as I made a list in my head of what I had or didn't to make these chocolates.

Bela giggled, "I'm that way with Ale."

"You're that way with a good wink," I snarked back at her. Fenris smirked, "I seem to enjoy your catty side – it's cute."

I beamed at him, "I learned some of it from Alistair."

Fenris nodded, "He is cute too."

Alistair flushed, "What?"

I gave a maniacal giggle at that, causing Varric to shudder, "Did it just get creepy?"

Bela caught on, "No – it got hot. I know many women who love a good bit of guy on guy action."

Alistair shook his head, "So not happening."

"Never say never," I sing-songed at him; he groaned, "Say it ain't so."

I shrugged, "I don't know yet – but you never know until you know, right?"

Meredith growled out, "Here – the shops here will be closing soon, so be quick about your buying." She stomped off after that – likely regretting coming to talk a great deal.

Cullen coughed, "What else can't you get easily that you miss?"

I sighed, "A certain fabric – funny thing is, I've seen you wear it once or twice as a sash so I know it's here. I just don't know the blend so I can't get it from my homelands. I had a blanket made from it and slept with it each night. I even had clothes made from it – but I never thought to check the blend since… I was dying."

"What?" Cullen looked terrified, "You're dying?"

"Not sense coming to Thedas, I'm not – my illness is gone and I will live many years to come; but that fabric… I miss that fabric." I pouted.

"Which sash was it?" he asked, thinking back to all of the outfits he'd worn around me, I think.

"The pretty amber one that matched your eyes – you haven't noticed that I can't help touching it every time you wear the damn thing? I want to steal it from you so badly my fingers itch – but you said it was a gift from Mia for one of your name-days so I keep my hands to myself."

He blinked, "That one? It's a material made from a blend of southern Ferelden fabrics. It's so common in Ferelden that it wouldn't be hard for you to get it – it's just Plaideweave. You can have the sash – I've had it for a few years, actually and Mia likely wouldn't mind it going to you."

Alistair chuckled. I flushed – what I liked was the smooth texture that slid across skin like silk but wasn't quite as… tough. Every time I'd asked back home, I was told it was silk – so I thought it was. No the fuck it wasn't – I cried when I pulled out silk PJs and they didn't feel right.

I knew I would receive several sets of clothes that were made from Plaideweave within the year; dyed in various colors, of course. Alistair would make sure of that and Cullen would likely add to it.

We browsed sex toys – certainly not our main reason for coming here, but still fun – before heading home…

Yes, we used them and had chocolate sauce and alcohol in our bedroom that night – Bela was a lot more fun that I had previously hoped too. The woman didn't just know how to kiss – she knew how to do a lot more.

The next morning – as people were arriving from Lirenes' to go home – Isabela sighed, "My dear, are you sure we can't share him? Perhaps letting me borrow him for a few weeks every summer? I'm sure we could work out a deal…"

"Honey no – it isn't my choice; you have to ask him. Though I won't stop you if he says yes." I smirked.

Alistair coughed as he flushed, "Not that the idea of being… borrowed isn't terribly fascinating… but I love Ara – and have no plans to add another woman to my bed at this time."

She pouted for a moment before saying, "Fine – but what about her? Can I just… borrow her on occation?"

"I… well, that isn't exactly my choice alone; Ara said she would defer to us but I am not her only partner. I would allow it – on the basis that you're a woman and Ara has no other woman in her bed though she likes women just as much as men – but it isn't my choice alone."

She sighed, "I'll work on getting the elf and the Templar to agree then – she is too much fun to let go."

I giggled.

The woman with the new baby arrived – it was just her and the babe, I learned. She was the last to arrive and counting her and the babe, there were 11 people that would follow Alistair home.

I bid him farewell reluctantly – and he gave me a very sweet kiss before departing and telling me he would be back on his usual night.