Chapter 59: Pleased
Supporting half of Remus's weight, Tonks took him through side-along apparition. Remus staggered as their feet found solid ground, his head spinning. With his eyes clenched shut, he held tighter to his wife for support. The warm summer breeze weaved between his bare legs in the hospital gown he wore.
"Are you alright?" Tonks said, before knocking on the door in front of them.
Remus gave her the smallest of nods. He swallowed hard and took in a deep breath. "Just trying to spare you," he said, barely opening his mouth. "Trying not to vomit or pass out."
Tonks knocked harder on the door. "We moved you too soon," she mumbled.
Remus pried his eyelids open. They were not in front of Ted and Andromeda's house like Remus had expected.
Movement could be heard from the other side of the door. The door opened a crack and then swung open urgently.
"My Merlin," Lyall Lupin exclaimed, immediately grabbing his son's other side. He tried to lead Remus into the house.
Remus did not move his feet. "Check that it's us," he said weakly to his father.
"It's us," Tonks said with exasperation. She screwed up her eyes and quickly changed her hair from pink to green to pink again, proving that it was her.
"You had to go to St. Mungo's?" Lyall said horrified, eyeing the hospital gown. He helped Tonks lead Remus over the threshold and then secured the door behind them. Both his son and daughter-in-law were smeared with blood. "It's never been that bad before."
"It was really bad," Tonks explained, through a dry throat. "But he's okay."
"Alright, alright," Lyall said, forcing his voice to be level. "Let's get you both cleaned up."
Lyall and Tonks took Remus into the bathroom and eased him down to sit on the closed toilet lid.
"I will find you both something clean to wear," Lyall said, leaving the room.
Tonks knelt to fill up the tub.
"Why did you bring me here?" Remus said in a small voice.
Tonks straightened and moved over to her husband. Remus was sitting slumped as if having trouble holding himself up. Tonks knew that Remus had many reservations about staying with his father. He did not want to be a burden to Lyall, feeling that he owed his father some peace after years of caring for his condition as a child.
"I just thought that you'd feel more comfortable recovering here than at my parents' place," Tonks told him.
Remus leaned forward into his wife so that his head rested against her midriff. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "Thank you," he said into the fabric of her shirt.
"Yeah," Tonks said in surprise, running her fingers through her husband's dirty hair. "You're going to be okay now." She felt Remus nod against her.
Lyall reentered the room with a stack of clothing and white towels. "Tonks, I found you some of Hope's old clothing to put on."
Tonks did not remark, feeling rather uncomfortable with the idea of wearing Remus's deceased mother's things, but she forced herself to set the thought aside.
Tonks stirred the herbs into the bathwater as the healer instructed and pale blue vapers rose from the tub. With the hospital gown still on, Tonks and Lyall helped Remus get into the warm water.
The soothing effects of the herbs were immediate. Tonks could see Remus's whole body relax as he sunk deeper into the water, the hospital gown billowing around him.
Tonks got on her knees beside the tub and glanced up at Lyall.
"You've got him?" Lyall said, his eyes not leaving his son's face.
Remus broke eye contact with his father, feeling embarrassed, a grown man sitting in a tub, his father towering over him.
"Yes," Tonks breathed.
"I'll just be in the next room," Lyall said. "Please come get me if you need anything."
In her father-in-law's eyes, Tonks could see the ghost of horror from when Lyall first discovered that his little boy had been attacked by Greyback."
Once Lyall, somewhat reluctantly, left the room, Tonks carefully untied the laces of the gown and pulled it sopping from the tub. Tonks gently unraveled the wet bandages from all of Remus's wounds. He flinched slightly at her touch but quietly allowed her to assist him. The healer had done well, the scrapes and bitemarks looked neat and had sealed.
The water was quickly turning mirky and pink tinged as Tonks began gently washing her husband's body with a soft washrag. Remus caught her hand as it moved in circles over his chest.
Tonks's wide brown eyes fell into his gaze. With the hand not in his, she stroked his cheek. Remus's eyes flit closed at her tender touch.
"When I first heard your voice in that cave," Remus began, "I don't think I have ever been more relieved in my entire life." His eyes welled as he looked at her. "I was afraid that I would never see you again."
"When I saw you on the cave floor, I thought…" Tonks cleared her throat.
"Thank you for coming to find me," Remus whispered.
Silent tears rolled down Tonks's cheeks in which she quickly brushed away with the back of her hand. Then, with all her clothes and shoes on, she climbed over the porcelain side of the tub. She sat with Remus's bare legs between hers so that she was facing him.
Remus let out a little watery chuckle, gripping his wife's arms.
"I love you and I will always come find you," Tonks said tearfully. Then she kissed Remus like she had never kissed him before. She sobbed against his mouth but continued to let all the fear and grief flow out of her passionately.
Remus pulled his head back slightly.
Tonks blinked. "Am I hurting you?" she asked anxiously.
Remus gave her a teary smile. "No, Darling, you're not hurting me."
"Darling," Tonks repeated. Remus rarely call her darling.
"Yes," Remus assured her. "I just wanted to look at you."
"Look at me?"
"Yes, my incredible, brave, beautiful, silly wife, who is in the bathtub with her clothes on," Remus told her.
Tonks gave a shaky laugh. "Your color is coming back," she remarked. "The herbs are helping?"
"You are helping," Remus corrected.
Once Tonks and Remus had gotten all the blood off of themselves, Tonks helped Remus out of the tub. Wrapped in a towel, she applied the ointment to his wounds and redressed them. Then she helped him into the pair of pajamas Lyall had brought in before pulling on the yellow cotton sundress that had once belonged to Hope Lupin.
Remus tugged at the sleeve of the dress, remembering it on his mother.
Tonks blushed.
"Strange?" Remus asked.
"A little," she said. "Everything about the past 24 hours has been. So why stop now?"
"The baby?" Remus said.
"Let's get you into bed first and I will explain everything."
Tonks called in Lyall and they walked with Remus between them.
"Easy now," Lyall said as they lowered Remus onto the mattress.
Tonks covered Remus and sat on the edge of the bed. Remus immediately reached for her hand. Tonks's lips twitched and she gently squeezed his fingers back.
Lyall stood uncertainly over them, his eyes anxiously running over Remus's body, still not convinced that he was well.
"I'll be alright, Dad," Remus assured him, producing a small smile. "Dora will look after me."
Tonks gave Lyall a little reassuring nod.
"Alright," Lyall said, still hesitating to leave. "Please come get me if you need anything at all."
"Of course," Tonks said.
Lyall took in a deep breath and then left the room.
"He's so worried," Remus muttered. "I hate to do that to him. When he sees me like this, I know it makes him feel guilty and he needn't feel that way."
"I feel guilty," Tonks admitted bluntly. "You were so upset when you left before the full moon and that's what did it, isn't it?"
"That was not your fault," Remus protested.
"I know," Tonks said, "but you've told me that when your emotions are high before the moon rises, it upsets the werewolf."
"That was not your fault," Remus said again firmly. "Now tell me what happened after I left."
"Don't you want to sleep first?"
"I won't be able to sleep until you tell me what happened?"
"Okay," Tonks said her voice suddenly shaky.
Remus watched her intently. The memory of the blood-soaked sheets still seemed to terrify her. Her face became pale. "Take your time," Remus told her gently. "And come lay beside me, will you?"
Tonks drank in a gulp of air then laid down beside Remus so that she was facing him. He reached up and touched her face lightly with the tips of his fingers.
"I was losing the baby," Tonks said in a small voice. "There was so much blood and it felt- well it seemed to be slipping away from me. But then-" she hesitated, looking at Remus, "then the moon rose in the sky and it happened again. That feeling I got last time. That wonderful feeling. I stood in the moonlight and the bleeding stopped immediately."
Remus brows knit together. "Are you saying…"
"That lycanthropy saved it? Yeah," Tonks finished.
Tonks watched her husband sink within himself.
"In what capacity?" Remus asked in a daze.
"I dunno," Tonks breathed. "On one hand, it could be that we are meeting the conditions of the curse. On the other hand…"
"The fetus suddenly became much stronger."
"Yes," Tonks agreed. "But Remus, whatever happened didn't feel bad." She spoke the words quickly. It was imported to her that he knew.
"Alright," Remus said earnestly. "You're both safe. That's all that matters."
Tonks felt suddenly warmed by the fact that he included the baby. "Yeah," she said gently, "we are both okay. Mum took me to a midwife she knows, and she confirmed that everything is fine. But with the amount of blood I lost, she couldn't explain how the pregnancy is still viable. But it is."
Remus felt a confusion of emotions. Tonks was telling him that lycanthropy potentially saved their child's life and perhaps hers. He was struggling to see how his curse could ever be a positive thing. Yet suddenly he was grateful.
"I'm glad," he mumbled.
Tonks placed a light kiss on his lips. "I'm glad that you're okay. You scared me there for a minute."
"Sorry," Remus returned.
Tonks's face suddenly became stony. "You can't go through that again."
An almost pitying expression crossed over Remus's face. "I'm afraid I'll have to," he said.
Tonks winced at his words, hating that he was trying to comfort her about lycanthropy.
"The healer said that she would make you Wolfsbane," Tonks said. "Do you think we can trust her?"
"I…" Remus thought for a moment. "I think we can, but Dora, that is a huge risk for her to brew Wolfsbane potion. She would be obtaining the ingredients illegally and if the ministry found out that she was helping a werewolf-" Remus shook his head. "I can't possibly allow her to-"
"Oh yes you can, Remus Lupin," Tonks said fiercely.
"Dora-"
"No," Tonks interjected. "You heard what the healer said, you would be doing it for me and our baby. Because we need you around."
Years of experiencing how people treated his condition made Remus want to instantly become defensive. He immediately thought to tell Tonks that he had warned her what she was signing up for when she had married him. However, Remus had to constantly remind himself that with Tonks, he had to relearn many of his experiences with people in general. Her insistence of him taking the potion was purely for the reasons she stated. She did not want him to be hurt and she did want him around. Remus knew this to be true, yet the idea still caught him off guard.
"If you really think it would be alright," Remus said.
Tonks blinked in surprise. She had been ready to put up more of a fight. "I do," she told him.
"I have no idea why she would risk it for someone she doesn't even know," Remus said.
Tonks shrugged. "Perhaps there are some good people still in the world. I mean, if she wanted to poison you, she would have had ample opportunity to do so today," Tonks said seriously.
"I suppose so," he agreed.
Tonks also planned on informing Remus that she would be with him during the next full moon, however she would wait to tell him until he was feeling better. She knew it would be an argument and she wanted to give him a fair shot at the row.
"You should get some sleep," Tonks told him.
"So should you," he said.
"I'm okay," Tonks said.
"Are you're just going to watch me sleep?" Remus smirked.
"Something like that," Tonks replied, running her fingers repeatedly through Remus's hair.
Remus closed his eyes at her touch. "You're so absurd," he sighed contently.
Tonks laughed lightly. "Does that feel nice?"
But Remus had already fallen sleep.
Hours later, Lyall cracked the bedroom door open and peered inside. "How is he?" he whispered.
Tonks glanced towards Lyall. She was sitting up in bed, reading a random book she had found on the nightstand on rare man-eating plants.
"Sleeping," she said, turning her gaze to her husband. Remus was curled against Tonks, his cheek pressed against the side of her leg and his arm was draped over her lap. Tonks smiled slightly as she looked at him. Wherever his dreams had carried him, he must be somewhere beautiful with no war, no wounds, and no werewolves. Remus looked so peaceful and when lifted from his burdens in sleep, he looked younger somehow and innocent.
Lyall hesitantly opened the door wider, watching his daughter-in-law's face closely, not wanting to overstep or intrude.
"Come sit," Tonks said softly, setting down her book on the side table.
Lyall gave her an appreciative nod. He produced a wooden stool with his wand and sat beside the bed.
"I don't want to wake him," Lyall mumbled.
Tonks shook her head. "Little chance of that," Tonks assured Lyall. "The potions the healer gave him before we left St. Mungo's clearly kicked in. He's completely knocked out," Tonks smirked. "Did you hear me knock over the lamp earlier."
Lyall shook his head. "That must have been when I stepped outside for a bit of fresh air."
"Well, Remus certainly didn't hear it."
"He's sleeping how he did as a boy," Lyall said with a sad smile. "Before it happened."
Tonks's brows knit together.
"He seems very relaxed with you," Lyall added. "After he was bitten, he never seemed to sleep peacefully. He was so young and so frightened in the night." Lyall slowly reach out and took his son's hand. He stared down at Remus miserably as if truly seeing the terrified, freshly turned four-year-old boy. "He was so afraid that the monster would come back and hurt him again." His lips barely moved as he spoke. "Hope had Remus sleeping in our bedroom for several months after the attack. But my little child put a stop to it, perhaps not wanting to worry his mother and me any longer. He was always so concerned about everyone else, even from a young age." Tonks wondered how long it had been since Lyall had spoken about this so openly. She got the impression that this was not a conversation they would be having if Remus were conscious. "He was terrified to sleep alone but did it anyway. It has been decades since I've seen my son sleep without a furrowed brow. Like even in sleep, he's forcing himself to be brave."
"Remus is the bravest man I know," Tonks said.
"Thank you for bringing him here," Lyall said. "I know why he stays away, but I…Well, I like to know that he's safe."
Tonks felt horribly sad for Lyall. He lived his life with a deep guilt surrounding Remus's attack by Greyback. Perhaps caring for Remus as a child had eased Lyall's conscience a bit, but as his son pulled away from him over the year, Lyall received no relief.
Tonks wonder at the extent of guilt Remus would feel if their baby inherited his lycanthropy and the extent of guilt she would feel at watching Remus struggle with those feelings.
She stared at Lyall as he watched his son's sleeping face and the guilt in his eyes was eclipsed by something much more powerful.
"Remus loves you," Tonks told Lyall. "And he is incredibly proud of you."
"Yes, well…" Lyall took in a sharp breath, he still held Remus's hand. "I have been an incredibly fortunate man to have such a wonderful son. He takes after his mother so much."
Lyall had wanted so much more for Remus. He deserved so much better.
"Dora," Remus suddenly groaned as if sensing the discord.
Lyall slipped his hand away from Remus.
Tonks placed her palm against Remus's cheek. He was still mostly asleep, though he was blinking up at her, dazed from the cocktail of potions. Remus did not even seem to register that Lyall was present.
"I'm here, Sweetheart," Tonks sang softly, beaming down at him. "I'm right beside you. You can sleep more if you'd like."
With allowance, Remus nodded wearily against the side of Tonks's leg and closed his eyes again.
Lyall watched as Tonks gently swept back Remus's thick hair and Remus's face relaxed again into a youthful peace. The scars were somehow muted.
Lyall was unbelievably grateful to Tonks for loving his son, for bringing him there, and for giving Remus a taste of beautiful normalcy.
"What happened last night?" Lyall asked through dry lips.
Tonks hesitated. Perhaps Remus would not want her to say, but the anxiety in Lyall's expression drove her forward. "We had a bit of a shock before Remus left before the moon rose." She did not need to explain further, Lyall had an intimate understanding of how emotions effected transformations.
"What kind of shock?"
"We thought that we lost our baby," Tonks said.
Lyall's eyes became very round.
"But we didn't," Tonks added quickly.
"A baby?" Lyall breathed.
"A baby," Tonks confirmed.
"Is it…?"
"We're not sure," Tonks said in a straight tone, "but I don't think so."
Lyall knew his son well enough to know that this was not his plan. Had perhaps Tonks wanted this, and she had convinced Remus? Tonks placed her hand protectively over her belly. 'No,' Lyall thought, reading her expression. They had not planned on this. The way Tonks looked at his son, Lyall hardly needed to tell her that it would be agony to see her child in pain or to be an outcast.
Lyall then thought of his wife. How would she have reacted to this news? Hope would have had her concerns certainly, but she would have set them aside for Remus and his wife.
"So, I'm going to be a grandfather, then?" Lyall said, a tiny smile tugging at his lips. He had never thought his son would get to experience the joys of being married and having children. Lyall, of course, knew firsthand what it was like to be the father of a child afflicted with lycanthropy and he would not trade his son for the world.
Tonks had not been expecting those words from Lyall. She had been so angry with their friends in the Order at their poor reception to the new. Her parents had responded with the same grave expressions and Remus's reaction was downright catastrophic.
Tonks felt overwhelmed with gratitude towards her father-in-law. This was the first time that her baby's existence was met with some form of normalcy. Tonks who always tried to stand out of the crowd with her bright hair and clothes, never dreamed that she would crave so much of what other people had.
"Are you- Are you pleased?" Tonks muttered.
Lyall gave his daughter-in-law a searching look. She had a longing expression on her face. Lyall guessed that the news of her pregnancy had not been met with enthusiasm including from his son. "May I?" he asked, reaching a hand towards her belly.
"Yes," Tonks murmured. Her eyes began to well with tears as Lyall's hand touched her abdomen.
Lyall met Tonks's water gaze. "Of course, I'm pleased."
XXX
A/N: Thank you for following my story. It really means the world to me to share something I love so much with you all. In addition to writing fanfiction, I also cosplay on TikTok. I currently am working on a "Dark Tonks" AU series of videos in which Tonks's parents are murdered by Bellatrix Lestrange and she is raised by the Malfoys from a young age. In addition to that series, I will be cosplaying scenes from Lycanthropy, Love and Other Curses on TikTok (I'm hoping to upload that content next week). If you are interested in checking this out, you can find me thorajane92.
