Hi everyone! You have no idea how much your support means to me. Reading you words makes me feel more connected than ever in these crazy times. Hopefully reading my stories does that for some of you as well!

Shameless plug – I've been updating some different stalling stories on my other profiles (Hemlock Grove and Sense8) – if anyone's interested.

Before I get on with it I really wanna say again how much your kindness has meant to me. It's not falling on deaf ears and I appreciate it. Thank you!

FYI this one's probably in rougher shape than usually. A little underbaked maybe? My apologies. All the story beats are there but it's just a bit of a mixed one (in my opinion). I'm trying to give you my best but this is what I have right now I suppose… so sorry…

Also, not much plot in this guy. One of you asked if I will ever finish. Honestly, it looks like the answer is becoming apparent… never... I will never finish :/ *laughs while weeping tears of bitter pain*

Anyway on we go!

Chapter Thirty-Three – People, Turn Around

"… Well, it's time all you people to turn around

For the life we've been living, messing around

The blood we've been spilling will bleed us dry

The life we've been killing is your life like mine?..."

– Delta Spirit


Gemma had been stewing at her son's house for long enough.

She was used to knowing her place and also being reminded by nosy outsiders what they thought that place was. She could handle that. She knew exactly what to do with those bullshit opinions.

That was nothing new.

What she was not used to was being on the outside of her own family.

Jax and Abel had been at the hospital all day with Masie. No update. Nothing. And she'd be damned if they thought she'd be keeping to herself. She looked down at her side where a cloth bag held some containers filled with chili and garlic bread with extra garlic per Maise's taste. Gemma smiled to herself thinking of the spunky five year old. That little chicky knew what she liked and wasn't afraid to share it.

The smile didn't last for long though. As Gemma neared the hospital door that her son's best friend was standing outside of, she could make out the frown on Opie's face and before she could ask anything she heard the shriek of someone… of Rosie yelling from behind the door.

That caused Gemma to hustle. No way that mild mannered teacher was losing her shit for no reason.

Opie responded with a shrug and a shake of his head to the question written in Gemma's eyes as she neared the door. "Doctors just left. Jax's still in there. It was quiet for a while then… this…" he gestured towards the grey door where the sounds Rosie was making were escalating to screaming. "Can't be good…" Ope commented with a heavy glance to the small window in the door.

"Where are the babies?" Gemma asked as she moved closer.

"They…" Ope didn't get to finish.

Gemma was now only a few feet away from Ope when she jerked in surprise at the sound of a smash on the other side of the door followed by the unmistakeable sound of Rosie's voice screeching, "GET OUT!"

A baby… Abel started wailing.

Suddenly the door seemed to rip open and Jax's hunched form stumbled out of the room. His face was red and wet, Abel was in his arms. The door swung closed behind him as he blindly reached for Opie and hugged his brother close with his son between them.

There were few times Gemma ever felt fear in her life. Seeing her boy in this state was the height of what caused that fear to spike right past the point of anger and straight into deep worry.

"Jackson…" she spoke softly, drawing his attention. The taller man released Jax from his embrace when Jax turned to face her, leaving Abel in Opie's safe grasp. She could see the relief in his whole body when he looked at her with his reddened eyes and tear stained cheeks. Her heart broke. On reflex she dropped the bag she was holding with a soft thud and held out her arms. "Baby…"

"Mom…" Letting out a muffled sob, Jax moved quickly to fall into her arms. He held her tight and she squeezed him back as he silently cried.

"Jackson… honey." She whispered, her gaze travelling to Opie over her son's shoulder. Still finding no answer in Opie's expression, Gemma rubbed her hand against her son's back. "Jax. What is it? Is she…"

Jax sniffed and squeezed her tighter.

"Jackson. You gotta pull it together, baby." Gemma spoke with more force now. She felt her son inhale deeply, the tremors running through him were calming down. He sniffed again, before pulling away and tucking his hair behind his ears his face still red. "What happened?" Gemma dipped her head trying to catch his gaze which was currently directed to the shiny hallway floor.

For a second it seemed as though he may speak, but he just shook his head turned his eyes up towards the ceiling.

Gemma felt herself snap.

This was not her son. He needed to figure out the right time to deal with his pain and what to do with it, namely not let it keep him for staying focussed and clear. He needed to explain.

"Jax, damn it! What happened?"

"She's dead, mom."

Gemma felt herself go blank for a moment. 'The babysitter?' She realized that couldn't be true, Rosie had just been yelling.

The junkie that started this whole mess, maybe? Good riddance to bad trash, Jax shouldn't have been so careless to begin with anyway. Why would he be upset about that now?

"Who, Jax?"

"M-my daughter." Jax mumbled as though he didn't want to say the words.

Gemma heart stopped at that. "Maise…" she found herself gaping between Ope and Jax.

"Christ, Mom! No!" Jax sniffed again, roughly wiping the water off his face. "My unborn daughter is dead! My daughter who died without taking her first breath. My daughter who is dead inside my old lady next to her now at risk twin brother. She's dead." Jax spat out with a coldness that Gemma felt in her soul. It was the familiar. That same cold that toughened and sharpened her.

Her granddaughter was dead. Twin. Jax has said twin. Her grandson was alive by the grace of god. But her granddaughter… she would never get to be alive because some selfish cunt couldn't figure out how to raise her own kid.

Swallowing her fury, Gemma took in the sight of her own boy.

"Oh sweetheart… there is nothing worse. I'm so sorry, baby." Gemma wrapped herself around him in another hug, before pulling back to raise her hands to her son's hardening face and wipe away the remaining tears, forcing him to look at her as she spoke. "Now…" her dark assessing eyes skimmed his darkening expression, "what are you gonna do about it?"


Someone must have told Nicola.

They had to, because she came in with that energy that said everything without speaking.

"Who else knows?" Rosie croaked out in a hollow voice unfamiliar to her ears.

"Rico, knows something is up. Your boy almost got in a fist fight trying to get Maise back from your Uncle. But his… ah, mother stepped in…" Rosie was vaguely aware of Nicola slowly approaching the bed as she explained, though she couldn't bring herself to look up from the corner of the room she'd been staring at. "Honey?" Nicola asked, now behind her.

Rosie didn't say a word.

She didn't even start crying. Not until the older woman raised a gentle hand to the back of her head to softly stroke her hair.


Rico sat in the plastic seat in the hall outside Rosie's room. He hadn't thought it was possible to more agitated than he had before this day had started.

He'd been protectively holding on to Maise the minute she'd leapt into his arms and fuck if he'd let go of her now.

Gemma Teller had been the last person he expected to see today, but when he did see her and she was interacting with the blond dickhead, it all fell into place.

Gemma Teller, who had been married to John Teller. Who had a son named Jackson. A son who would be about the age of the prick who wouldn't leave Maise alone.

Meaning that fucking guy was John Teller's son.

And that wasn't all.

Now Gemma knew he was in town. She now specifically knew he came for Rosie and Maise.

Meaning shit wouldn't be staying quiet for long.

Rico had agreed to remain with Maise while the blond… Jackson asked to speak with Nicola for private moment. Rico knew wasn't always the most observant person, but he could see the reddened eyes and the worry on the young man's face as he made his request.

Maise had nearly scrambled out of Rico's grip to run towards Gemma and Jackson, she clearly trusted them, but as much as Rico couldn't stomach the thought of Rosie being in some unknown trouble he could not stand the idea of Gemma or anyone else in Jackson Teller's circle keeping watch over Maise.

"Uncle Rico?" Maise piped up from his lap. She had abandoned his phone to distract herself with playing with his beard. "Do you like my friend?"

"Your friend, honey?"

Maise nodded. "Jackie… he's my best friend."

'Fuck…'

Rico stared down at the girl who was his granddaughter in everyway except blood. Her expression unwavering in that same way it had been when she had been convinced that the only way to make sure her dollies were happy was to throw them a tea party with her Uncles.

The sinking feeling that had taken hold of him since stepping foot back into this town, sank lower than he believed possible.

'Of all the god damn people…' his jaw clenched in frustration.


Tara hadn't had much of a break. Her morning sickness had been knocking her through a loop all day everyday for the past two weeks. Right now, the florescent lights in the hospital were doing nothing to help her pounding headache. She kept her eyes wide open though from her vantage point at the nurse's station in intensive care, Tara was keeping watch on the door at the end of the hall.

Her migraine wasn't helped by the fact she'd just gotten off the phone with a very unhelpful Stahl. She'd tried Hale first, but he'd been blackballed by the ATF agent. So, calling Stahl directly had been her last recourse. It had worked but Tara could still hear her smug voice.

'I guess your boyfriend will have to deal with the consequences for once, won't he?'

The brown-haired doctor gritted her teeth, suddenly feeling sick again. Stahl didn't seem to actually care about protecting anyone as long it meant that she'd have more against the club.

Chewing on her lip, Tara glanced at the copy of the chart she'd swiped. She knew she could get in trouble for taking it, but she couldn't help it. It was just meant to be a quick look, but then once she'd read it, she couldn't leave it alone.

That pain hit her hard and too real. What ever Jax and that gir… Rosalyn were going through…

Tara felt water pooling in her eyes for at least the fifth time since she'd read the updated ultrasound report on the chart. 'Fuck…' She sniffed, shaking her head to collect her emotions.

At first, she had headed straight back to Rosalyn's room, without much thought. But then she had caught sight of Jax wrapped around Gemma, and suddenly she felt like an intruder. Actually, if she was honest with herself she'd been feeling like an intruder for a while now, months maybe… and never more so than when she'd seen Jax with that little girl curled against his chest as he watched over his budding family.

Tara swallowed back some of the bile in her throat. She knew it was over. She had known since before she'd been ready to admit it to herself.

Jax wasn't hers. He hadn't been for a long time now.

'Speak of the devil…' Tara was grateful that she didn't have long to dwell on the thought. As if blind to the rest of the world, she saw Jax's frame at the entrance of the ward by the nurses' station.

"Sir…" One of the blonde nurses' behind the desk began addressing the biker, who barely seemed to notice someone had spoken.

"I'll take it from here. Thanks!" Tara smiled tightly at the nurse, taking Jax by the elbow.

"Tara?" It seemed to take him a minute to realize that she was there, his focus had been so singular. He was obviously irritated by her presence and at her hustling him down the hall towards the door she'd been staring at… the one that had been previously guarded.

"Not out here, Jax." She muttered, guiding him through the door that he had obviously been headed to and closing it behind them as they entered the recently unoccupied room.

By the time Tara faced him properly, he'd already slipped that façade back on.

Jax Teller. Made of stone. Don't fuck with him.

Or his family.

"Jax…" She started, her heart breaking, because under the mask she could see the crushing weight of his pain. "I'm so sorry." Tara took a step closer to him, only to watch him retreat with his hands shoved in the pockets of his pants. He just shrugged.

"I heard about…" She tried again, this time her mouth going dry as she tried to say the words. "So that's why…" Tara gestured around the empty room.

"Yeah." He spoke finally, his voice sounding hollow. "Figured…" he sniffed looking across the room, "no more guard…" Jax explained how he knew without Tara telling him. "How did Stahl, know?" Jax lifted his head, his blue eyes colder than before as they skimmed her face.

Tara did her best to swallow the lump in her throat, unsure of what his reaction might be. "I- I told her, Jax."

Jax's mouth tensed into a thin line.

"I had to, Jax. I was scared for you… for her…" Tara knew her eyes were wide with fear, but she carried on. "For Rosal…"

"DON'T SAY HER NAME!"

Tara jumped in surprise, the chart she was carrying fell to the floor. Jax had never raised his voice to her like that. Never.

She'd always thought she was immune to Jackson Teller's outbursts.

But that wasn't true, not now. Maybe it had never be true.

"What'd you just give your boyfriend a call to okay a move?" His nostrils flared in rage, his finger jerked from pointing at her to the empty hospital bed next to him. He didn't give her a chance to yes and lie, because he cut off by shouting again. "You did this!"

Tara's mouth hung open as she shifted her gaze from her former boyfriend… lover… whatever to where he was pointing.

He was in pain, but that didn't give him a free pass. 'Fuck him.'

Crossing her arms over her chest, Tara held her ground. "I didn't do anything but stop you from doing something you'd regret, Jax."

Jax rolled his eyes, with a scoff and a shake of his head.

"I mean it." Gritting her teeth, Tara chanced another step closer, this time Jax didn't step back. "Jax. Can you really tell me she would have wanted this on her conscious?"

"You have no clue what she'd want." He bit out.

"Do you?" Tara asked, her tone and voice softened with sadness for the man in front of her. "Would she want that? Even if you could live with it, could she live with that kind of… justice?"

Jax refused to meet her eye, but it was clear that had struck something.

"Listen, if you're hell bent, then I'm sure that there's very little I could do to stop you from getting to Darvany Jennings. But Jax, you have to consider what it would mean. Big picture."

Tara could hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth. Honestly, she would have hoped she still would have reacted this way regardless of her own situation. As painful as the distance from Jax had been it had pulled her out of the twisted rules of the MC and Jax's world. There was more clarity.

Though she had barely interacted with Rosalyn, based on what the young woman had done for Abel and how she had seemed with her own daughter, Tara had a sense that this would not be her way to handle this situation. Besides Tara's own little guy was making it very difficult for her to look at anything but the big picture at the moment.

If Jax or Rosalyn felt even a fraction of this immense emotion and responsibility, then Tara knew that this had to be the right move long-term. Even if Jax didn't see it. Rosalyn needed someone on his shoulder while she was out of the game, and especially while Gemma was on the other one.

Tara bent down to pick up the chart with a sigh when Jax didn't speak. "So, before you go ahead and do whatever you think is right here," she nodded at the empty room, before moving towards the door, "consider the others you'll be affecting."


Rosie didn't know what date it was. She had spoken numbly to Officer Hale then something must have happened because the doctor rushed him out and Rosie didn't remember much after that. Nicola had taken her home a while later with Rico and Maise, once the doctors had said she was stable enough. She needed to stay on bedrest they said.

Rosie had thought to ask for Abel but that would mean so many other things that she wasn't prepared for.

Maise clung to Rico, all the way home.

Rosie couldn't find the strength to hold her just then.

"Honey…" Nicola's voice sounded from behind her.

Rosie kept her eyes closed, laying on her bed with her back to the door. Maise wasn't asleep in her arms, so it must have been the daytime still.

"Rosalyn…" Nicola tried again, sounding closer. "We're about to sit down for dinner… will you join us?"

Rosie didn't say anything, simply curling further into herself.

"That's all right, sweetheart." She heard the sound of her friend picking up the food tray on the nightstand. "You did a good job on you lunch… dinner is meatloaf. You always liked that…" Nicola stopped speaking, likely because Rosie had opened her hazel eyes to look up at the older women in the soft lamplight.

To make it clear that there was no such conversation that could interest Rosie in this moment.

Clearing her throat, Nicola changed the subject. "Maise's been asking for her friend… Jackie." Nicola bit her lip as she continued to stare down at Rosie's unmoving face. "He's been by… less than before though. I think he got the message after the first week or so."

Week or so… Rosie let those words sink in.

"But Maise needs something that obviously me or Rico can't give her… and with you… healing…" she trailed off in away that was uncharacteristic for her.

"Give her to him." Rosie's rough voice cracked with disuse, causing Nicola's dark eyes to widen in surprise. Probably at the response and the content.

"You mean let her visit with him here?"

Not in the mood to clarify, Rosie responded before closing her eyes again. "And bring Abel to me... please."

"Are…" Nicola stopped herself seeming to think better of it. "I'll talk to him about it."

Though Rosie was awake, Nicola didn't get a reply.

The young, mourning mother was consumed once again with the thoughts of the choices she'd made in the weeks… days…years that had led her here. To this cold place.


Hey all!

Forgive the editing. As mentioned earlier this was another weird one to write. Hopefully we can get to some plot in the next chapter.

Hope you're all continuing to take care of yourselves and keep safe

Please let me know what you think!