I Wait

Chapter 30 – this is me trying

"And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound,
It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you,
You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town."

"Again," Kakashi said, heaving a weary sigh. They'd returned to Konoha hours ago and spent most of the time in Kakashi's office, going over the events of the last few days in excruciating detail. Sakura had never imagined things ending like this. Months ago, standing in this office with what she'd considered family for the longest time, she'd thought this would be a mission like any other. She would complete it and return home and life would go on. That wasn't what happened. Not at all. Sasuke had joined her. That should have been enough to convince her that this mission would be anything but ordinary. It didn't. It had taken too long for her to realize that things would be changed by the outcome of this mission. Did it have something to do with Sasuke? Yes. Having him with her had undoubtedly shielded her from the harsh reality. Having him with her had been a distraction. Time and time again, she'd forgotten about the mission and how important it was. And to a shinobi that was despicable. To be so easily distracted shouldn't be allowed. And yet, Sasuke was the reason she was alive and able to stand there with them. Sakura dared a glance at him. Naruto stood between them as they faced Kakashi in his office and the distance between them felt vaster than it actually was. If he felt her eyes on him, Sasuke gave no reaction. He was covered in blood. Mostly her own. What had happened after the battle was mostly a blur. The sheer amount of blood she'd lost over the last days had caught up with her. With the seal having been exhausted during the battle, the diamond shape had reappeared on her forehead as they returned to Konoha, but that also meant that the power it had granted her and how it had shielded her from the effects of her fights had also caught up with her. The quiet she'd heard in that cave would most likely haunt her for years to come. After the ringing in her ears subsided and she'd heard nothing, no sounds of life. No indication that Naruto and Sasuke were alright…Sakura's strength left her all at once. Her wound had reopened when she'd hit the ground, the impact too much for the newly mended, but fragile flesh. The blood was warm on her cold skin and the only indication that she was alive. But there was no strength in her arms – to lift them and attempt to heal the damage there. And she probably couldn't, considering her limited amount of chakra available. In the best case scenario, nothing would happened. But in the worst? The damage Kogen did to her with that pendant made itself known and she passed out and most likely would have bled out right here. Her vision dimmed in and out and Sakura let out a sharp breath, trying to stretch her senses out once more for Naruto, for Sasuke.

Nothing.

She hiccupped an uneven breath but there was a void within her. Still, she waited. For the tears. For the heartache. Nothing came. Sakura squeezed her eyes shut. Perhaps she was in denial. As if she was detached from her body and the reality of the situation hadn't sunk in yet. Seiki was gone too, so wasn't that good news? That they'd defeated him and once again saved the world from the Ōtsutsuki threat. She felt no joy either. Just that same empty void that seemed to stretch out forever. And strangely, she remembered her dream. The cool waves lapping at her feet in the middle of summer. The white dress. The swollen belly. And Sasuke, waiting for her.

Haven't we given enough for the shinobi world? Haven't you?

It was odd that she would remember those words now, but her throat burned and she wasn't sure if it was his words or the sound of his voice, so real in the back of her mind. Sakura's lids fluttered open, but her gaze wouldn't focus on anything. The room around her was dark and out of focus.
"Cry," she hissed quietly to herself and she tried to push herself to react to do anything but lie there and do nothing. Silently, she assessed to damage and was obvious there was nothing she could do to heal herself but it gave her mind something to do. Her heartbeat had slowed considerably and her breathing was shallow and raspy.

Sakura was reluctant to accept the truth of her situation. That there was nothing she could do. That she was once again helpless. That she was most likely here, waiting for death. That Naruto and Sasuke-

"No," she grounded out, her breath rattling in her chest. The force of the word caused a wave of dizziness to sweep over her and it was the rushing in her ears that prevented her from hearing it. The sound of their return. The hand on her cheek startled her and Sakura's eyes flew open, her vision still unable to focus but she saw him clearly enough.
"Sakura."
Maybe it was the sound of his voice saying her name, or the insistent way his hand cupped her cheek, shaking slightly – Sakura wasn't sure. But she came apart, breaking all at once. Her face crumpled as she reached for him blindly, her arms lifting on their own. Icy droplets fell onto her cheeks. Snowflakes?
Naruto was crouched to her left, a hand pushing on her shoulder to turn her onto her back as he spoke to Sasuke in a low, urgent voice. She felt Sasuke's hand on her chest then, the familiar warm heat of his chakra seeping into her skin and she relaxed but the tears didn't stop. Naruto's hand squeezed her shoulder lightly. Just enough that she knew he was there for her. Her eyes drifted shut and when she opened them, she was on Sasuke's back, traveling back to Konoha. Back home. Sakura didn't have the nerve to speak then, but she did tighten her hold on him, enough to let him know that she was awake. His only reaction was to turn his head towards her slightly for a moment. She'd learned that Sasuke had transported the three of them to that snow dimension, in case the attack failed. It hadn't. But it had taken him a while before he could return. Although he'd managed to patch her up sufficiently, the dried blood on his cloak and hands…all belonged to her. Sasuke hadn't spoken a word to her as he let her down at Konoha's gates. Enough of her strength had returned a while ago to at the very least travel on her own, but Sasuke hadn't let up. His grip on her remained tight, almost desperate.
Naruto's panic in Kakashi's office was painful to watch. He'd taken one look at Shikamaru and froze. Shikamaru had stood there, banged up slightly, but all in all didn't seem to be too badly hurt, but it was enough for Naruto to freeze and look over him with wide eyes. He could have sent a Kage Bunshin home to ensure Hinata was okay, but Sakura understood the sentiment of him wanting to go himself. Reporting to Kakashi had taken hours and hours, going over every detail, answering both his and Shikamaru's questions.
"Whose decision was it to destroy the door and break the Uzumaki sealing jutsu?" Kakashi asked, but Sakura could tell from the tired look in his eyes that he already knew the answer.
"Mine," Sasuke said bluntly, not even missing a beat. His eyes, although Sakura could see the fatigue in them, dared Kakashi to say anything. Instead, Kakashi rubbed a frustrated hand over his face. "That's not going to go over well with the other Kage."
"I'll smooth things over." Naruto promised immediately. "Sasuke's reasoning makes sense."
Kakashi glanced at Sakura. "Officially, yes." He said slowly, "Let's keep it that way."
Sakura knew what he meant. No one outside this room would know that Sakura influenced that decision and that the sole reason Sasuke destroyed that door was to give the shinobi alliance control of the situation and locations of these places. Everyone nodded in silent agreement.
"If there were more Ōtsutsuki wouldn't we have heard from the other villages by now?" Naruto asked.
"Unless they're all dead." Sasuke said and everyone turned to look at him. He shrugged, unconcerned and Sakura would have smiled at that if she had the energy.
Kakashi gave him a long look. "While, yes, that is an option. It's unlikely. We would know if that was the case too, one way or another." He opened his mouth but stopped short, looking over the three of them. Kakashi nodded to himself. "Alright, go home and rest. Have your mission reports ready and return in twenty-four hours." He paused. "I'm going to invite the Kage here first thing tomorrow. Prepare yourselves. All three of you will have to attend the summit."
They nodded, all three of them no doubt giving him grateful looks.
Kakashi closed his eyes briefly. "You…did well." He smiled then, his mask crinkling around it. "Welcome back."

x-x-x-x-

Naruto had parted from them with an anxious look, running off towards the home he shared with Hinata. Finally leaving Sasuke and Sakura alone. It had been…difficult for Sakura. Having Sasuke so close, within touching distance but unable to touch him. If there was one thing she'd been desperate for in these last few hours, it had to be the feeling of his lips on hers. But the rift between them felt so big that Sakura thought she would break the longer it went on. Things were tense and quiet between them as they walked home – to her apartment, his arm constantly brushing against her as they went. The closer they got, the tighter Sakura's chest felt. Sasuke allowed her to go ahead of him as they took the stairs up and he stayed a few steps behind her as she walked down the hallway to her door. Her hands shook slightly as she attempted to unlock the door and Sakura blamed it on exhaustion. Luckily, it only took two tries for her to get the key in and turn it. Sakura stepped inside, her chest heavy and her breaths hard and Sasuke followed shutting the door firmly. Sakura turned, her lips parting to speak and she wasn't even sure what she could say. That she was happy they were home, that they both survived. That she loved him so immeasurably that sometimes nothing else mattered. That he was everything to her, and in those moments that she thought she'd lost him, a part of her slipped away.

But it wasn't necessary.

Sasuke's arm went around her waist and he pulled her against him as he bent, his face pressing into her neck and a small, strained sound left his throat. They stumbled back a few steps and she gasped softly, something fierce twisting in her chest. Sakura shuddered and brought her arms up and around his shoulders, squeezing tightly. A strained sob left her lips as she clung to him, her body shaking with silent cries, Sasuke's body was tense against hers and Sakura knew he was trying to keep his own storm of emotions at bay. Sakura wasn't sure how long they stood there but it was only when she calmed somewhat that Sasuke pulled back and stared down at her. His eye was a little red-rimmed but his face was dry.
"Come," he murmured when he pulled away and Sakura followed after him silently, neither of them made a move to turn on any lights as they walked through the dark apartment and into the bathroom. Sasuke shut the door after she entered and turned to open the shower door and turn on the water so that it could warm up.
Sakura watched him wordlessly but her insides were starting to shake slightly at what was undoubtedly coming. Sasuke gave her a long look and the chance to leave but Sakura stayed where she was and after a moment he dropped his bloodied cloak to the floor and reached for the hem of his shirt. Sakura stepped forward, arms raised and Sasuke paused slightly, glancing up at her.
Sakura swallowed heavily, covering his hand with her own. "…Let me?" she had meant it to come out more confident. Less like a question. Sasuke nodded, gently pulling his hand free and lifting his arm so that Sakura could pull his shirt off. Sakura didn't look away from his gaze as his shirt joined the cloak on the floor. Her hands shook a little, bumping into his stomach as she undid his belt and then the button on his pants. Sasuke watched her without a word as she pushed his pants down. Her fingers hooked themselves into his underwear and Sakura glanced up shyly, her cheeks flushed. Sasuke gave a single nod and Sakura felt encouraged by it, taking a deep breath, she pushed his underwear down, guiding them down his thighs and to his ankles, keeping her eyes on them steadily, even when she was crouched in front of him. Sakura tapped his ankle gently and Sasuke stepped out of his bottoms. After pushing his clothes aside, Sakura finally gave in to the temptation. She glanced up slightly, her eyes trailing up his legs to-
Her breath caught in her throat. He had grown a little hard from her stripping his clothes off but it was nowhere near as large as what she'd felt -
Sakura glanced up at his face to find him staring down at her, his chest rising and falling in hard, uneven breaths. Sasuke reached for her and Sakura took the offered hand, allowing Sasuke to pull her to her feet. He wasted no time undoing the clasp of her cloak and allowing it to pool around her feet on the floor. The bathroom was steadily filling up with steam but Sasuke undressed her in an unhurried way, his hands steady even if his breath hitched when her tattered dress fell to the floor. He'd undressed her once before, but unlike then, Sasuke took his time. He undid the knot of her bindings, a slight tch leaving his lips when they didn't just fall away on their own, but soon they too joined the rest of her clothes. His eyes drank in what they could see as if they'd been starving, his chest rising and falling even more rapidly now. His fingers ghosted down her ribs, eyes flipping up to hers in a silent question. Sakura had never been completely naked with him. Even before she'd had a towel on and despite how intimate things had gotten between them the night before everything happened, this was Sasuke asking if she wanted this with him. If she wanted to take that step, after everything.
"Yes," she breathed and his lids fluttered a little before turning down again. Sasuke swallowed, the first physical sign he'd given to show that he was somewhat nervous. But that was the only sign she got. Sasuke crouched down, his warm breath fanning over her navel as he pulled down her pants and Sakura's body tightened and heat churned in her stomach when his hand trailed back up her leg and his fingers gripped her panties. She bit down on her bottom lip when his nails scratched down her skin gently, following the trail of her underwear down, down until they fell around her feet. Like she had, Sasuke looked. Of course he did. Taking in every detail visible to him and Sakura had no doubt that he would be committing every detail he couldn't see in that moment to memory later, but it seemed now that Sasuke had other plans. His eyes trailed up and he flinched slightly when he looked at the remains of wound on her chest. Sasuke took a rattling breath and then he leaned his forehead on her stomach briefly. Sakura reached for him, her fingers finding their way into his hair and Sasuke lifted his head to look up at her. The sadness he'd been attempting to hide churning in his eyes. And then he rose and reached past her to open the shower door. Sakura stepped in first and Sasuke followed her in, the door shutting firmly behind him. For a long moment, neither of them moved. The water was hot and raining down on them, washing away some of the dirt, sweat, grime and blood, but it did nothing to wash away what had happened. As much as Sakura wanted it to at least wash away the memory of opening her eyes and them not being there. Of him being gone.
Behind her, Sasuke made a strangled sound, his arm going around her so suddenly that Sakura stumbled back into him as his hold on her tightened and he buried his face into her hair.
"Don't," he choked softly, so softly she almost didn't hear him. "Don't leave me,"
And then she knew. His silence, this distance that had been between them. When he'd returned to the cave only to find her in that state-
Tears sprang in her eyes and Sakura gripped his arm tightly. Turning in his hold, Sakura tried to look up at him but Sasuke's mouth crashed onto hers, his kisses almost drunk, an edge of wild desperation in the way they slanted over her. Sakura made a sound low in her throat, half pained and half needy as her arms went around him.
"I promise," she was breathless between kisses, "I won't leave, Sasuke-kun." It was a promise shinobi knew not to make. But both of them knew that she meant it. That she would stay, with him. And that was enough for him. Sakura felt the change in him immediately. How her words affected him. How his body stiffened and deep sound rumbled from his chest to hers. And the realization that he needed her caused Sakura to give a soft, half delirious cry, tears welling behind her closed lids as she kissed him harder. Sasuke's arm tightened around her waist and tugged her up. Instinctively, Sakura put her legs around his waist, only aware that a moment later her back was pressed into her bed and Sasuke loomed over her, the shower long forgotten. Sakura stared up at him in the darkness of the room, her hand reaching up slowly to brush over his swollen lips. Sasuke's eyes fluttered shut and he leaned down again, erasing the space between their mouths once again. She could feel him, pressing into her insistently and she could feel herself clenching tightly, drawing a low moan into his mouth. Sasuke's hips drew back and then pressed forward, slowly grinding against her, a wetness from his tip dragging over the bare skin and then towards where she desperately needed him. Sakura gasped, her legs tightened around him and she jutted her hips upward, dragging her wet center against his hardness.
"Sakura," Sasuke grunted, his body stiffening and then it was as if his self-control and the need to take this slow shattered at the feeling of her, of how much she wanted him. And the realization that she was truly his. His kisses turned hard and fierce, his fingers pressing into her skin with an almost bruising intensity. Sakura bit down on his swollen lip, drawing a low moan from him and Sasuke drew back breathlessly, his body shaking with months of wanting.
His hand gripped the sheet next to her head. "Sakura, I-"
Sakura felt tight all over as she nodded her head frantically. Being close to him these last few months, kissing and touching had made her breathless when she'd recalled it later, but this…this was overwhelming, feeling him and wanting him with that throbbing hunger between her thighs. Sasuke pulled back slightly, and Sakura's nails dug into his skin pulling a slight hiss from his mouth, his eyes stared down at her in that same starved way, as if he was struggling to keep a grip on his sanity. And as Sakura stared back up at him she wanted that sanity to break, she wanted him to devour her. His eyes close briefly, "Sakura, I want-"
"Yes," She whispered again. It had always been yes.
Bracing himself carefully, Sasuke gritted his teeth as he positioned himself at her entrance and when he glanced at her, he wasn't asking for permission anymore. Sasuke pushed into her in a single stroke and Sakura whimpered, her eyes squeezing shut against the sudden pain. He stilled above her, his breath harsh as he waited. When the pain subsided, Sakura had to remind herself what inhaling and exhaling felt like. When her lids lifted again, he was still on top of her, his eyes moving over every inch of her that he could see from his position before his gaze collided with hers. Before, when they'd touched each other, things were charged, unspoken words laid between them and there was something wild about the way they'd moved together in the darkness of that room at the inn. This…this was entirely different. There was nothing waiting for them. Nothing threatening their future at that moment.

Nothing unspoken anymore.

"I love you, Sasuke-kun."
Sasuke took a shuttering breath, a shock rolling over his body with sudden ferocity. His body shook then and Sakura wondered if it was uncomfortable for him, sheathed inside of her being as hard as he was. Taking another deep breath, he pulled his hips back before snapping back down. Sakura could tell he was attempting to watch her reactions, to see if what he was doing was correct, if it made her feel good, but the long, deep groan that escaped him proved that he was having a hard time concentrating as the sensation of her gripping his cock robbed him of rational thought. He pulled back again and then forward, his pace hard and unrelenting, drawing cries from her throat one after the other. Sweat bloomed on his brows as they drew together in concentration, his lips blindly finding Sakura's once again, their kisses tight, uneven with need. Sakura's thighs shook, pleasure mounting dangerously, her teeth biting and tugging on his full bottom lip, drawing a rumble from his throat. His face went to the crook of her neck, worshipping her skin with his lips and then his tongue and then his teeth. Sakura's hips bucked up into him, chasing her end wildly, she could feel the coil low in her stomach, twisting tighter and tighter, his name repeating on her lips until it snapped, drawing a hoarse cry from her lips and arching her off of the bed. Her walls spasmed around him, squeezing his own release from him. Sasuke let out a harsh curse, his hips snapping down again and again.
And when he finally relaxed, collapsing on top of her, Sakura was there, her arms around him and still panting slightly as her hands stroked at his hair.
"I'm here," Sakura murmured. "I'm not going anywhere."
Sasuke nodded into her neck, for the first time believing that was true.

"I love you too, Sakura."

x-x-x-x-

Once again, thank you guys for the comments. As always, they're so, so appreciated!

I Wait is almost finished, maybe three or four more chapters left, sadly.

Also, BORUTO IS MOVING SO SLOWLY. CAN WE SEE KAWAKI ALREADY!? Why are they dragging it out so much?
I'm also SO EXCITED about Attack on Titan tonight. ARE WE FINALLY GOING TO SE LEVI? And the rest of the squad? I hope so. It's been a long few episodes and I'm ready.

ANYWAY, here's a teaser from the next chapter, Contact:
"And you expect us to believe this?" Mei asked, looking between them.
Sasuke glanced at Sakura, this clearly wasn't going as planned.