Sebastian opened his eyes to find Kurt looking at him with a sweet smile on his face.
"Good morning, sweetie."
"Sweetie?" Sebastian repeated, dubiously.
"You're very sweet to me. Would you rather me call you something different?"
"I've never really thought about it." He kissed Kurt on the forehead. "Ready to go watch the sunrise?"
"Definitely. We'll get some shoes for me to wear at the beach and go watch the sunrise there tomorrow."
"I hadn't thought about it until just now, but my dad's water shoes are in the closet. You could borrow those and we can go down to the beach to watch this morning if you want. We'll just go without eating or anything so we don't miss it. We can come back and get ready for the day."
"Ooh, I like that idea. I'm excited to see the ocean. Let's go."
As they locked the bikes, the sun had come up just enough to not be completely dark. They hurried down to the beach and laid the towel down they had brought and sat down together.
"It's amazing," Kurt said. "Pictures don't do it justice." He took Sebastian's hand and interlaced their fingers. "I'm really glad I came."
"Me too, babe." Sebastian leaned towards Kurt, offering him a kiss.
Kurt met him halfway and kissed him.
"What made you change your mind about going shirtless in public?"
"Just all the things we've talked about over the last couple of weeks. It's a beach. Guys go shirtless at the beach. I'm a guy. I can go shirtless."
"Excellent deduction skills," he teased.
"Plus, you like it when I go shirtless." Kurt pressed his shoulder to Sebastian's and tipped his head and kissed him on the shoulder.
"Well, that's true."
Kurt looked back out over the water. "I want to go wading once the sun comes up."
Sebastian pulled his camera out of the waterproof bag he had in it around his neck. He pointed it at Kurt who turned away.
"Hey, babe. Why'd you turn away? Look back this way. If you're concerned I'll show someone the picture, I won't if you don't want me to, but I'd like to take one, please?"
Kurt turned back. "You're right. You can take it. Can I take one of you afterwards?"
"Sure."
Kurt turned a bit and looked at him. Sebastian took a few shots and handed Kurt the camera. He looked at the shots Sebastian had taken and did his best to frame his shots of Sebastian similarly. He winked at Kurt, who captured the beautiful open smile that filled his eyes spread across his face.
"Your smile is stunning, you know." Kurt gave the camera back.
"Yours is dazzling when you're not trying to suppress it. When it's just the two of us, you relax and have the most amazing smile." Sebastian took a few more shots of Kurt as he relaxed into having candid shots taken.
"I quit smiling when people made fun of my teeth. I'm sorry I insulted yours." He leaned in closer, even though no one was around close enough to hear him. "I like them nibbling on my ears."
"Oh, really?"
Kurt blushed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, really."
"I'll keep that in mind."
The sun finally broke the horizon, the brilliant deep pink light shining though the fluffy clouds at the horizon made them glow peach.
"It's breathtaking," Kurt said. He sat in awe and just stared out over the water.
Sebastian surreptitiously took some photos of Kurt while taking photos of the sunrise itself. He turned so that he was facing away from the sunrise, but was still shoulder to shoulder with Kurt and held the camera so that the sunrise could be seen over their touching shoulders. He said Kurt's name and got him to turn and kissed him and pressed the button and held it down to take five quick shots in succession.
Kurt shook his head and chuckled. "What are you going to do with those?"
"Keep them."
Kurt stood up. He waited for Sebastian to get up and grabbed the towel. He reached out for Sebastian's hand and they walked down to the surf and waded through the water. "I've seen so many photos of the earth from space and the water is clearly visible, but seeing it like this, seeing it go on forever – it's just really amazing. This makes me doubt my big city life choices."
"Ah, well, you don't have to choose between them. We can spend time here too."
"Your mom bought the house to make money."
"She bought the house to be able to come here whenever she wants, whenever any of us wants to. Even if she doesn't make money, she should break even. She's nearly 50. She wants to spend time with the people she loves. And she's decided to do it here."
"That's just so far from how I've grown up. My dad tells stories of robbing Peter to pay Paul after my mom died until things got a little better."
"Your dad struggled alone. I showed you my family tree. My grandpa and his sister were very close and their kids grew up really close as well. And even when three of them got married, they pulled their spouses into the tight-knit group. That's what will happen when they get here. You will be part of all of it. None of them would ever consider not accepting you. Well, of course Jillian will be a pain, but that's her MO. Don't take it personally."
Kurt smiled. "I won't."
They walked along the shore for a while hand in hand. Sebastian stopped abruptly causing Kurt to turn around to see why and he saw Sebastian pointing out into the distance. He scooted up behind Kurt, wrapped his arms around him, and propped his chin on Kurt's shoulder while they watched four dolphins pop up out of the water and dive back in until they were far enough away to not be able to see them anymore.
Before Sebastian let go, he kissed Kurt on the side of the neck. Kurt reached up over his head and wrapped his hands behind Sebastian's neck. He slipped to the side a bit and rotated just enough that he could kiss Sebastian. He turned back and leaned back into Sebastian's chest. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing himself to take in everything around him. He wanted to remember all of it. The smell of the water, the sound of the surf coming in and going out, the splash of the water against his calves, the push of the tide coming in and the pull as it went back out, the deep pink sky, Sebastian's arms around his torso and his chin on Kurt's shoulder, the faint sounds of Sebastian breathing near his ear, and the feeling of warmth and contentment he felt in that moment being held by the person he loved. I told him and he loves me too.
Sebastian stood processing almost all of the same sensations, but his mind honed in on the feeling of having Kurt in his arms. He could feel Kurt's soft skin again his forearms. He could feel every breath Kurt took. He loves me too. He kissed Kurt on the neck again right below his ear. "I love being here with you."
"Me too. It's magnificent." He relaxed back into Sebastian and hummed softly.
After a couple of minutes, Sebastian said, "I don't recognize that. What song are you humming?"
"One I've been working on."
"I didn't know you wrote songs."
"I've only written a few, mostly for the musical I wrote two summers ago."
"You wrote a musical?"
"I did. No one liked it, but I had fun doing it, so that what counts." Kurt felt Sebastian's stomach growl. "Ready for breakfast?"
"Yeah," he chuckled. "But I won't starve. This is too beautiful to leave. Let's walk a little more. There are tons of nice shells. Let's pick some out. We'll get first choice today."
"If we can find enough tiny ones along with a nice small one, I could make us necklaces or bracelets. Or I can teach you and we can both make something."
"Sure."
"I'm not always certain how to take it when you say that. Does it mean that you're just going along with my idea, but only because I asked? Or do you genuinely want to do it? Because if you don't, you can read or whatever you want while I make them or I can skip making you one if you don't want one."
"'Sure' usually means 'Yes, I want to do that with you, but I would have never thought of it myself.' And it also might mean that I have no idea whether I do or don't want to do it until I try it. After I try it, I'll know whether I do or don't want to do it again."
"Okay. I just don't want you to feel like I'm twisting your arm or something."
"I'm an open-minded guy. Just because I've never done it before or really considered doing it before doesn't mean that I'm not willing to try something. Everything is new the first time I do it. And doing something is usually the one way you can find out if you like it. Of course, there are things that I'm just absolutely not interested in trying like walking on hot coals or seeing if I can escape from a coffin that's been buried."
Kurt shivered.
"Exactly. But making shell necklaces or trying a new food or activity will more than likely be met with me saying 'sure'."
"Fair enough. So, sunrise seashell hunting?"
"Yes." He kissed Kurt on the neck again before he let go of him.
Kurt pedaled faster in a burst of energy about four houses from the Smythe's place to beat Sebastian in a race that Sebastian didn't know they were having. All of a sudden, Kurt stopped as fast as he could. He turned back and yelled, "Sebastian stop!" Kurt's heart felt like it had stopped beating, but he could hear it pounding in his ears. He turned back, taking in the sight of the 7-foot long creature between him and his destination.
Sebastian pulled the brakes before he got to the grass. "What?"
Kurt pointed towards the low bike shed alongside the house and turned back. Kurt spoke in the lowest, firmest, calmest voice he could muster after realizing that yelling probably wasn't in his best interest. "There's an alligator."
Sebastian moved forward just enough to see around Kurt. His heart dropped. There was no way to intervene. He tried to sound much more calm than he felt. "Back up slowly and turn the bike back this way and ride out of the yard. We're going out for breakfast. Hopefully when we get back he'll be gone. We'll ask who to call while we're gone."
"Are you sure?" Kurt's voice quavered with fear.
"I'm sure." He continued to speak calmly. "Back away slowly. And once you're facing the right way, pedal away as fast as you can. Go back the way we came. I'll follow you once you're out of the yard." Sebastian took a couple of photos to be able to show people if he needed to, and then turned his bike around to go back the direction they had come from.
He held his breath as Kurt backed up very, very slowly. He kept his eyes on the alligator that hadn't taken a step, but had turned its head to watch Kurt. Kurt did as Sebastian said and moved back slowly in a slight arc into the neighbor's yard. Once he had the front of the bike facing the street, he turned the front wheel to the left and rode through their yard as quickly as he could. Sebastian took off following him. Kurt kept going and didn't stop until he got back to the intersection near the beach.
When he stopped, his breathing was still ragged. "Oh, my God. That was terrifying."
Sebastian got off his bike and leaned it against the bench nearby. He pulled Kurt into a hug and held him tight. They were both shaking slightly. "We're okay. Let's go get something to eat some place with outdoor seating since we don't have shirts. We'll as a local what to do."
Kurt took a deep breath. "Right."
They walked their bikes down the sidewalk a bit to a bike stand and locked them up. Kurt took Sebastian's hand and they walked down about a block and found a place with a walk-up counter facing the sidewalk.
"Morning! What can I get you?"
Kurt looked through the menu board. "I'll have the grilled egg and cheese sandwich and an orange juice."
"Alright. And you?"
"That sounds good. I'll have that too."
"That'll be $9.87."
Sebastian handed him $12 and told him to keep the change. "There's an alligator in my yard and I'm not sure what to do. Any chance you can give me some advice?"
The guy laughed. "You're out and about early, just like the gators. Give it a bit. It'll go back where it came from. Unless it's acting aggressive, just stay away from it. If you call the hotline to have it removed, they'll shoot it. You'll see more of them at dusk and dawn. They mostly mind their own business like every other creature."
"Thanks," Sebastian said. "I don't want to have it shot. Hopefully, it will be gone when we get back. It's sitting in front of my bike shed." Sebastian showed him one of the photos he had taken with his phone.
He nodded. "You're new around here then."
"Yeah, my parents bought a house here. I was here for two weeks and then back in New York where we go to school for two weeks and now we're back. I didn't see any alligators when we were here before."
"I bet you weren't out this early."
"That's true."
"But if you're ever on foot and not on a bike, run away in a straight line if one starts to move towards you. They're fast and they can jump and climb. You're best bet is to run and get inside."
"Got it. Straight line, get inside someplace."
Kurt asked, "Can you tell if it's a male or female?"
The guy laughed. "Sure, but you're not going to want to do that." He explained how it's done.
Kurt shook his head and chuckled, "Yeah, I'll pass."
He laughed. "Me too." He turned and grabbed their food and handed it out the window. "Enjoy the rest of your day. Hopefully your gator will be gone when you get back home. Welcome to the area. We serve breakfast until 11 and lunch until 4. We're open in the afternoon and evenings too, but then we specialize in frozen drinks, mostly alcoholic, but not all of them."
"Thanks."
They found a place nearby to sit and eat, which they did without talking, both of them still a little shaken. Sebastian finished before Kurt and scooted closer to him and put his arm behind Kurt's shoulders, propping it on the back of the bench. He gently ran his thumb in an arc back and forth on the edge of Kurt's shoulder. Kurt looked over at him and smiled. He finished his last two bites and put his wrapper in the sack with Sebastian's and crumpled it. He scooted into Sebastian's side and finished his orange juice.
"That was really good. It had just the right crunchy to tender ratio. And I love fresh-squeezed orange juice. I might turn into an orange while we're here."
Sebastian smiled. "I liked it too. Sometime we'll have to stop by for one of the frozen fruit drinks."
Kurt didn't say anything, which surprised Sebastian.
"Do you not like them?"
"Oh, I love them."
"Then why that face?"
"Oh, sorry. It's fine. It sounds good. Are we ready to go back and see if the alligator is gone?"
"If it's not, we'll just take the bikes inside and leave them in the entryway while we shower and get dressed. It was alongside the house, not near the front door. Let's go see."
"Inside it is," Sebastian said, as he edged up the sidewalk just far enough to see around the side of the house.
They got off the bikes and used them as pseudo-shields as they walked up the front walk to the house.
After Sebastian had closed and locked the door, he said, "How about Max?"
Kurt looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "You're going to name it?"
"Yep. Since we're obviously not going to figure out whether it's male or female, Max can be short for Maximilian or Maxine. Hopefully, Max will go back home at some point today, but for now, let's go get dressed in clothes so we can go in the grocery store. Or at least put shirts and regular shoes on." He slipped the water shoes off and put them near down. "Let's just do that. We can come back and put the groceries away, make lunch, and shower and get dressed for real before we go out shopping."
After Kurt slipped his shoes off, he stepped closer and kissed Sebastian. "Works for me." He slowly backed Sebastian into the half-bath door and softly ran his hands along his arms. Once Sebastian's back was against the door, he pressed in and kissed him with passionate kisses full of love. When they had to take a breath, Kurt kissed along his jaw up to his ear. "I love you."
Sebastian was lost in the moment and didn't respond.
Kurt pulled back. "Too much?"
Sebastian pulled him back and kissed him. "No, not too much. I love you too." His breathing was quick as he kissed along Kurt's neck. "I may have had a few daydreams of you in nearly this exact scenario. I was having a bit of déjà vu."
"Oh, really?" He kissed Sebastian, licking at his lower lip and deepened the kiss, giving him no time to respond. He kissed down the other side of his neck. "Are there other things you've daydreamed of me doing?"
"Oh, yeah. I have a very vivid imagination when it comes to you."
"Do tell." Kurt ran his hands down Sebastian's chest to his waist and let them rest there.
Sebastian's heart was beating fast and he caught his breath. "Well, there's you in the shower."
"Ooh, now that sounds like a fun one. Should we give that one a go?"
Surprise showed in Sebastian's eyes, but they also gleamed with anticipation. "Teasing isn't nice."
"Who's teasing?" He leaned against Sebastian and moved his hands up to Sebastian's face. He ran his thumbs along his cheeks. "I wouldn't tease you, but I won't try to convince you either."
"I don't need convinced. I just want to know that you're sure."
"After we talked the day you found me looking at myself in the mirror, I've done a lot of thinking and we've talked a lot. We talked last night about me holding back and how I didn't want to. How I want to let go. How much I want to let myself have what I want. "
"And how what you want is me."
"Yes, but I'm a patient man too. I want you to be equally interested."
"Oh, there's no lack of interest on my part. I just want to know that you're not doing this because you think you owe it to me or something."
"Oh, definitely not." Kurt ran his thumbs in an arc above Sebastian's hipbones. "There are so many things I want now that I've never really wanted before. I've done a lot of soul searching the last couple of weeks and I talked to my counselor too. I've never felt the way I've been feeling."
"What do you mean?"
He kissed Sebastian sweetly. "Turned on. So turned on. That's what has been causing me so much confusion. I want things I've never wanted." He was breathing so hard. He put his head down on Sebastian's shoulder to regroup. "I invited you into my bed. I had never cuddled like that. I want to hold you and touch you and kiss you."
"Me too."
"But I want to do other things too. Things I've never done before. Things that never interested me before."
Sebastian looked confused.
"I want to shower with you for one."
"You're not making a lot of sense. You and–"
"Nope."
"Me neither, but I figured it was because of the nature of my arrangement. No romantic stuff."
"Makes sense." Kurt kissed him again. "So, we can either go shower together or we can go get dressed and talk more first."
"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but let's get dressed. I love you too much to mess this up."
"Okay." Kurt pecked him on the lips and stepped back. "We'll put shirts and shoes on and go grocery shopping. If I'm going to have to try to out run Max, I might need to put a pair of running shoes on my shopping list for this afternoon." He took Sebastian's hand and squeezed it. "Come on." He pulled him towards their bedroom.
Late that evening, Kurt shut the taxi door and followed Sebastian up the walk to the house. They had left the front lights on so they'd be able to see anything in the front yard on their way in, but they moved quickly anyway.
Kurt closed and locked the door, "Well, that was creepy, but it was fun."
Sebastian let Kurt walk through the living room to the hallway. Once he had the light on, he turned the entryway light off and followed him. "It was. Maybe more creepy than fun in parts like the cemetery, but I think overall it evened out."
"I've never been on a guided tour like that. The guide was a really good performer and storyteller. Until tonight, I hadn't really considered any type of performing except stage, but it could be fun. I'm not sure what, if anything, there is like that in New York, but I might look into it."
Kurt started to undress. Sebastian stopped at the doorway.
"Is something wrong?" Kurt looked over at him.
"You're undressing in front of me."
"Would you rather I not?"
"That's a trick question. Of course, I'd like to see you take your clothes off. If I'm sharing," he said flirtatiously, "I'd admit that you doing a striptease has been one of the fantasies I've had."
"Oh, really?" Kurt approached him, shirtless. He stepped just close enough to be able to kiss him without touching him.
"Why are you teasing me?"
"I told you that I wasn't teasing earlier."
"I think now's a good time to talk about what feels like a sudden change to me, one that's making me feel on edge. I want all of these things with you – the showering, the strip tease, and more, but I can't just go from cuddles and kisses to those other things with you without feeling like we're on the same page. I know it probably seems super weird for me to go from propositioning you a few months ago to saying 'Slow down. I want to talk.' now that we're together. But like I said earlier, I love you too much to mess this up."
"You're right. Just because I finally cleared the hurdles doesn't mean that we need to race to the finish line. I love you too. I shouldn't have assumed that you were unhappy with the way things were and wanted to move on to more sexual activities."
"Oh, believe me, gorgeous, I do want that." He wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him close. "It's just that it isn't all I want. The cuddles and kisses have been amazing and they've filled a place in my heart that hurt and was damaged. I told you that Jean finding someone new in less than a week really hurt. It made me feel like I was only good for my body, not who I am – that I never mattered at all."
"Which is how you were acting when we met."
"Because that's how I felt when we met."
Kurt nodded. "That's not how I feel about you, though. I fell in love with you. And you absolutely matter to me, Sebastian. I want all of you. Your snarky sarcasm, humor, flirty come ons, and leering looks. Your kindness, gentleness, and sweetness. Your geeky physics stuff, your love of reading, music, and dancing. All of the things I didn't think to name too. Everything. All of you."
He held Kurt close and buried his nose into Kurt's neck.
"You've built me up so many times when I was down. You've been such a rock to me. I want to be your safe harbor like you've been mine."
Sebastian nodded. "You are. Hearing you say those things means a lot." He didn't let go for a few minutes. When he did, he stepped back just a bit and sweetly kissed Kurt and then pressed his forehead to Kurt's. "Why don't you go ahead and shower. I'm a little hungry. I'll go make us a snack."
He squeezed Sebastian and let go. "Sounds good to me."
