Finn spent the night after the accident with Rose as if it were their last. They dined with Poe and Zorii as the droids bumbled about in the near distance. Finn stared in amazement as Chewy inhaled a whole Chandrilan chicken to himself. Jannah sat with Lando, who was visiting on his way through the Perlemian trade route. Lando was a valuable asset to their cause as he smooth talked his way through the galaxy, making deals with systems and planets, and opening up trade routes previously crushed by the First Order.
It was a small but vibrant celebration, the smiles around him slowly beginning to turn purple from the wine.
But in the following days, Finn couldn't shake off the annoying truth that nudged up against his mind every time he remembered why they were all able to smile like this now. Frequently during meetings, he would find himself staring off into nowhere and working the inside of his cheek until Rose would squeeze his thigh or Rikk would ask him some pointed question.
Finn and Rose never wasted anytime when they returned to their room each night, ripping the clothes off of each other like it was their first time. Finn lost count of how many times they made love, how many times they had worshipped each other's bodies and souls. He had loved her, but now he had tasted the world without her in it and he was terrified of losing her again.
He spent his mornings with her tucked tightly against the front of him, their naked bodies warming each other. He toyed with her silky, midnight locks that flowed down her bare back like liquid obsidian. Her hair had grown long, like Rey's, and he loved seeing her with it down and free like this, a rare sight for a mechanic.
One morning, he woke before her and he let his fingertips trickle down to her shoulder, careful not to wake her but enough for her to feel in her dreams. He grazed down her porcelain arm, feeling the heat of her, watching her slowly rise with each long, sleeping breath she took. She was alive and his again.
Because of Rey.
Because of Ben Solo.
Guilt filled him, as it often had these past few days. Rey had told him and Poe about how Ben Solo had turned to the light, but it took Rose dying for him to finally believe her and see it for himself.
He remembered how good it had felt to feel his hand crunch against his long, hard face that day on the landing platform, how good it had felt to watch blood drip from his mouth. But then he also remembered Rey's horrified face when he had done it, the look of pain on her face as if he had hit her too. When he was arrested, Finn had been secretly happy he was left below the capitol to rot.
But he had left Rey alone in her grief. Rey had grown pale since arriving on Chandrila and he watched silently as dark circles formed under her eyes. And he had done nothing to console her because he had been so selfishly blinded by his own hatred for Kylo Ren.
Damn it, I'm a shit friend. He thought.
That morning, a sudden urgency to speak to Rey was the only thing that could draw him away from Rose. He slipped out of the sheets and dressed quickly then took one last look at Rose, sleeping peacefully, before he shut the door quietly behind him.
Finn's vision was filled with hard, stone flesh, his eyes suddenly at level with a man's giant white chest.
Wha-what the...?
Oh fuck me.
"Woah! Ok. This is not...ok, uh, woah." It was all Finn could manage to say as he stumbled backwards slightly from the sight of him.
The man completely filled the doorway, massive and intimidating. He wore only loose-fitting linen sleeping trousers that hung low on his hips. His hair was messier than Finn had ever seen it, but his expression was the same. Stoic and bored. Finn half expected him to say 'FN-2187. What do you want?'
But in what galaxy would Kylo Ren ever present himself to his subordinates like this? Finn shook the thought from his head. He is not Kylo Ren. This is Ben Solo. Breathe, you fool.
Finn was hardly aware of the tiny, nervous D-O that zoomed passed their feet, straight into the room. He heard Rey greet the droid, but couldn't see her over the mass of flesh in front of him.
So she's in there. Good.
The pieces of the puzzle formed quickly together as if spelling it out for him in front of his eyes then slamming him in the face and branding him an idiot. He took another look at Ben's messy hair, lack of clothes, and the fact that he was in Rey's room...in the morning...
Oh.
He imagined Ben and Rey's night - or morning - wasn't very different from the one he just shared with Rose. But how many nights had they been secretly sharing like this? How was he here anyways?
"I'll come back later." Finn blurted out. His voice sounded two octaves too high and he wasn't aware he could speak so quickly.
"Finn, it's all right. Just come in." He heard Rey's voice call out. She sounded happy and well rested, back to her same-old energetic self. Like she had been restored, these past few weeks completely washed away and with it the cloud that hung over her head.
Finn straightened up and peaked over Ben's shoulder. He felt his face burn with chagrin as he spotted Rey still tangled in the sheets on the bed, her face flushed and glowing.
Ben moved and Finn's eyes flicked immediately back to him. But the man backed up into the room, holding the door open for him and motioning for him to come inside. He walked quickly past him and entered the cozy quarters. His hand was suddenly stiff and he hadn't realized he had been gripping the end of his blaster at his hip. He quickly let go, flexing his hand and glancing around the room as he tried to figure out what to do with his eyes.
Rey hopped out of the bed as he approached her, grinning. She really was like her old self again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he squeezed her into a tight embrace.
He heard the door shut behind them then Ben Solo walked past them, gracefully sitting down on the edge of the bed and leaning his arms forward to rest on his knees. He still wore his bored expression, studying the floor as if it was the most puzzling thing in the galaxy.
Finn cleared his throat, "I came to see you. Make sure you're ok. I haven't really had a chance to talk to you since..."
Rey smiled at Finn and rubbed his shoulder. He knew she could sense there was something else.
"Actually, I'm glad you're here too." He said as he turned to Ben. "Though I'm not sure how..." Ben's dark eyes flicked up to meet him.
"I wanted to thank you, both of you. What you did, for Rose...I didn't know that was possible."
"I didn't either. I knew it was possible to heal, but to completely bring someone back from the dead..." She shook her head in amazement. "We still don't understand it and likely never will."
Finn smiled then his face grew serious, "I will never be able to repay what you did." He paused again, looking to Ben. "What you both did."
Ben stood slowly to his full height. Finn watched as he rose, thinking he might go on forever until his head popped out through the ceiling.
He spoke then, deep and ominous, but softer and different than Finn had ever heard him speak. "I sensed your pain in that room, with Rose. That inexplicable loss like there's no one left in the entire galaxy worth living for." His eyes burned as he continued. "I've felt that, with Rey. That's what I felt on Exegol, holding her, dead in my arms." The three of them flinched slightly at the image. "There are few I would wish that pain on and they're all dead now."
"And now you're more protective over her than ever." Finn said quietly, musing. He had something in common with Ben - they had experienced the same loss.
Finn heard the sincerity in his voice, strange coming from his lips. Finn sighed, shifting on his feet. He extended his hand out to Ben, a gesture of peace. Ben's eyes flicked down to his outstretched hand and his full lips parted in shock, but he accepted and squeezed Finn's hand hard as they exchanged their truce.
He smiled at Rey then turned on his heel to leave. Then a thought struck him and he turned back to them.
"Wait, so how are you here?" Finn asked.
Ben shrugged. "Rikk. He let me go, or something like that. I didn't escape, if that's what you're asking."
Finn smiled and nodded in understanding. "Rikk's a good man." He turned back to the door then and called for D-O to follow as he shut the door behind him.
