As I'm finishing my make-up, Josh is standing at the bathroom door, fully dressed, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
"Are you ready to go yet?"
I stop and turn to look at him, lifting the eyebrow that's above the eye that doesn't have mascara yet.
"Do I look ready?"
He studies me for a moment. "No?" He answers with uncertainty.
"Five more minutes, Josh."
"You said that five minutes ago," he grumbles causing me to pause again.
"You know it might go faster if you weren't pressuring me. We have all day."
"You know I like to go first thing!"
"You know they're going to move us to the front of the line."
"I don't want to have to take cuts! I want to be there first thing."
"Maybe you should just go ahead without me."
"Now you're just being mean. Plus it's your first Presidential in DC. I wanna make sure you don't screw it up."
"Now you're the one being mean!"
"Donna, you gotta admit, you don't have the best track record here."
"Go away from me."
"Okay."
He gives me a grin before wandering off. I can't help but smile back. I'm glad he's able to banter with me and that he's not completely pulling his hair out. The latest polling seems to indicate a little uptick for the President but this race is still closer than we expected. It would be foolish for me to think it's not going to be a stressful day. So anything I can do to start it out right will help. But that doesn't mean I'm going out before I'm fully ready.
When I come out to the kitchen Josh and Lulu are waiting for me. She looks a little sleepy, but adorable in her "Future Voter" shirt paired with a red, white and blue tutu.
Sylvia is giving Josh a little bit of a disapproving glare as he clips curlicue ribbon barrettes in her pigtails. I'm taken a bit aback. It's unusual for her.
"She was sleeping." Sylvia informs me.
"It's her first Presidential election! I want her to see us vote." Josh insists. "And it's only a half hour before she normally wakes up." He insists, looking to me to back him up, which I'm quick to do.
"It'll be fine Mom. She can make up for it at nap time."
But Sylvia isn't completely convinced. "She hasn't had breakfast yet either."
"Ma! The West End Library's at 24th and L and we're being driven by the secret service. We'll be back before you can even have breakfast ready."
"You think I'm making you breakfast?" Sylvia banters back.
But Josh just gives her puppy dog eyes and she melts. "Fine. I will make pancakes for you but only because you're such a good boy."
"Thank you, Ima." Josh answers dutifully flashing his dimples at her.
"Me too, Bubbe!" Lulu insists,waking up a bit more at the mention of pancakes.
"Yes, sweetheart, I will make pancakes for you and your Mama too. Now, go, save the world."
. . . . . . .
I have to confess, I do feel a little like a rock star as we are ushered into the Library. A surprising number of people recognize us and we are greeted enthusiastically. By the time we get inside, Josh is grinning.
"What?"
"I've still got a fan club."
"Oh, Mr. Lyman, if I swallow my ballot. . ." I tease him in a fake accent.
"You're evil." He whispers in my ear.
"I know!"
At the table, we sign our voter cards and are handed ballots. The older lady working the table smiles at Lulu.
"Well, hello sweetheart. Are you old enough to vote?"
"Tomorrow!" Lulu tells her. "I'm three!"
"Her birthday is tomorrow." Josh explains.
"Oh, that's so nice." The lady responds, handing Lulu a sticker. "Elections must be extra special for you."
"Yes, they sure are." Josh answers, giving me a quick, dimpled grin.
Josh takes Lulu into the voting booth with him, of course. I can't really hear what he's saying but I can hear the low murmur of him talking to her. He's probably explaining each of the ballot initiatives in detail. This could take a while.
After I finish voting, I double check my ballot carefully. I certainly don't want to make a mistake again. I think you can only get away with that once in a lifetime.
And it feels like a lifetime ago, eight years. So much has happened since then. Some of it was very painful, but I wouldn't trade any of it away if it meant that I wouldn't be right here, right now, waiting for Josh and our daughter.
When they emerge, Lulu shouts across the room. "Mama! We voted!"
Josh's face lights up and there is some collective laughter from those still waiting in line. There are a few phones being held up too, and it occurs to me that this, like everything else we do in public, could end up in the news.
. . . ..
Mom seems to have completely forgiven Josh, and has a feast laid out by the time we return to the Brownstone. As I get Lulu situated, he gives his Mom a quick squeeze and peck on the cheek.
"Thanks, Mom. For Breakfast. For being here, and for everything. You've really made our lives a lot easier."
"Oh, posh!" His Mom replies, blushing but smiling contentedly.
"You mailed your ballot already? Right?"
"Yes, Joshua!" She laughs.
She's just lucky he doesn't make her go down to the senior center and drum up votes, last time he made an intern ride the elevator at the hotel for hours. But we're in DC and we know the District is going for the President, so I suppose it doesn't matter.
Still, it's nice to see him relatively calm, enjoying breakfast with his family, even while our whole future hangs in the balance.
When we are finished, Josh is ready to get to the office. He's got Matt and Helen voting in Houston in about an hour, they'll create as much hay as they can with that before they fly back here.
Vice-President Baker is voting around 11, in Pennsylvania, so that they don't overlap. He and Mrs. Baker will also give some interviews. Josh and Amy aren't wasting election day. They've got surrogates ready to continue to get out the vote.
By the time I'm ready to go, Josh is back to pacing in the living room, Lulu in his arms. I appreciate that he's trying to remain calm but I know he really wants to be in the office with his staff around him where he can get minute by minute updates. It's going to be a close race. It could be a long night.
. . . . . .
The first round of exits come near 11. I'm pleased when Amy calls me with an update, so I don't have to go to the war room. We've got leads in places we'd expect, but Democrats vote early.
Still, when I talk to Helen. they are in a good mood. I don't want to get ahead of ourselves but I'd rather have them happy. I'll be glad when they're back in about a few hours.
Before lunch, I find myself wandering the halls aimlessly. There really isn't anything to do. I'm tempted to find Josh, but since he's not hounding me, he probably is actually working. I end up down in our old office. Sam has a scowl on his face as he types on his laptop. Then, after a minute he looks up. When he sees me he smiles brightly.
"Hi Donna!" He beckons me in.
"Hi, Sam. What are you working on?"
"The Concession speech."
My heart drops. I thought the numbers were good. Does he know something I don't? Are we about to be out of work? We still have so much to do. I'm not ready.
Sam takes one look at my face and gives me a little smile. "Oh no, Donna! It's nothing. We always write one. You knew that."
"Oh, I guess. I mean, I didn't know that from the Bartlet years, but I guess I remember that Otto wrote one last time. Actually, he wrote like four or five of them. I guess I just thought they were hazing him."
Sam chuckles. "No. They weren't just hazing him. Unless they made him go out in the cold and turn around three times and curse and spit."
. . . . .
The 1:30 exit numbers still show the President with a small lead. I'm looking at some of the district breakdowns in the battleground states and I like what I'm seeing, but I'm not an expert and I don't want to get my hopes too high.
But when Josh pops into my office he's smiling. That makes me feel good.
"Hey, I'm heading to the portico, the motorcade is going to be here in a minute. Wanna come with me?"
"Of course!"
I pop up out of my seat and make my way to the door, giving him a quick kiss when I reach him. His smile gets even bigger as he let's me pass by and he falls in beside me, his hand resting lightly on my back.
"I'm so glad we get to do that now." He declares..
"Me too." I reassure him, as if he needs it. "Hey Karen. We're going down to meet the motorcade. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, I'll probably be in the residence."
"Okay, Donna."
"Did you eat lunch?" Josh asks as we walk down the hall.
"No. That breakfast was pretty big. I wasn't really hungry. Did you eat?"
"Margaret made me."
"Good."
"How come my assistant gets to practically force feed me but you get to skip meals?"
"Because I'm a grown up."
"Hey!" Josh whines, adorably.
"Seriously, Josh. I didn't forget to eat. I just wasn't hungry, yet."
"I don't . . ." He leaves the sentence unfinished as I raise an eyebrow at him and pierce him with a look. We both know that he sometimes does forget to eat.
"Okay, but I'm a lot better about it now."
"Yes you are. Let's plan an early dinner with Lulu and Mom. Maybe 5 O'clock. That'll give us time to look at the 4pm exit polling and kill some time between then and when the polls start to close."
"That sounds great."
We hit the front of the building just as the limo pulls up. As Matt and Helen climb out, the rest of the staff piles out from the SUVs behind them. Ashley is laughing at something Annabeth said. I'm glad I sent her on this trip. She shouldn't have to stay in the office all the time. I remember what it's like to want to get to travel.
"Donna!" Helen greets me. "Did you like our coverage?"
"Yes. You looked fantastic. And the sound bite about how our children's education is on the ballot was perfect."
"Honey, I'm going into the office for a little while." Matt tells her, pulling her in for a quick smooch. "Thanks for voting for me."
Josh gives me a quick peck on the cheek before he and Matt stride down the hallway. Helen watches him go.
"I really hope we win." She admits when she turns back to me. "He shouldn't lose just because the other side plays dirty."
"I know."
I'd like to give her more reassurance than that, but I can't. The thought of losing to a party that cheats makes me nutso. I can barely stand to think about it. I'm really not sure what we'll do if that happens. I think I want to leave this town. Take my family and go make a life far away from this place. But on the other hand, if we don't stay and fight, who will keep them from destroying our entire democracy?
Ashley and Annabeth are standing by, waiting for instructions.
"We'll have staff at 4. To go over plans for tonight and the latest exits."
"Okay." They agree and head back towards our offices.
"You're coming up, right?" Helen asks as she walks towards the stairs.
"Unless you want family time."
"No," she laughs lightly. "Hopefully Josh keeps Matt distracted for a while. And the kids will probably have some homework. Let's go make some cookies, and try not to think about how our whole future is on the line."
. . . . . .
The 4pm exits still have Matt in leading in the electoral college, but I know we're all worried about the after work crowd. Democrats vote early and our lead isn't quite as sizeable as we'd like, but Josh is still smiling as the three of us settle into the town car.
It feels a little odd to be heading home before 6 but Sylvia is going to have dinner ready for us, and we'll watch some of the network coverage and give Lulu a bath before we come back to the White House, hopefully for a victory celebration.
It makes me nervous to even think about it.
"You're not nearly as crazy as I expected." I inform Josh as he finishes buckling Lulu and tells Dave that we're ready.
He just grins at me. "Do you want me to have a nutty?" He teases.
"I don't know." I tell him honestly, "when I'm dealing with your nutty it distracts me from having one myself."
Josh throws his head back and laughs, god, it's a great sound. And when Lulu joins in even though she has no idea why he's laughing, I find myself grinning like a loon.
"Well," he offers, still chuckling, "I'm enjoying this feeling that my whole world doesn't depend on what happens tonight, but I live to serve you, so if you decide you need me to go cocoa-bananas, just let me know."
. . . . .
Josh is still mellow after dinner when we're on our way back to the White House even though we really don't have any new information. The networks are reporting the same polling as what we got at 4pm.
In fact, he's humming.
"You're looking at me funny." He announces, leaning over and giving me a quick kiss.
"I'm just confused! You've been working so hard on this campaign, especially trying to clear Matt's name, and now you're humming! It's like it almost doesn't matter to you?! You want to win, right?"
"Of course I want to win. Matt is way better than Sullivan! And we've still got a lot to do!"
I'm relieved when his voice goes up and he gestures wildly. There's the spark that I've been missing.
He notices my smirk and grins. But then it melts away and he gently regards me with his warm brown eyes.
"But . . ." he continues softly. "It doesn't matter as much anymore. Now that I know that I'll still have a life, even if we don't win."
. . . . . . . .
When we get to the war room on the third floor, the networks have started to make predictions based on the polls that closed at 7pm. The mood of the room is somber as they call Georgia, Indiana, and Kentucky for Sullivan. Amy colors those states in red and tallys 35 points into Sullivan's column. Georgia and Kentucky were expected, but I had hopes for Indiana. I also hoped that we would be able to quickly add Ohio and Virginia into our column, but I guess not. While we're watching, the West Virginia polls close and they immediately call his home state for Sullivan.
Everyone lets out a breath as they call Vermont for Santos. At least we've got some points on the board.
"It's still really early." Josh reminds everyone as he stands and takes my hand. "Don't worry about it."
As soon as we're out of the war room, I pause for a second, looking at him carefully. "Really?"
"Really."
With his reassurance I'm able to smile as we walk into the den where the first family has gathered to watch the returns.
The T.V. is on but the volume is too low to hear, especially over the sound of laughter as Matt, Helen, and Miranda play Twister.
"Well," Josh grins at them, "this is one way to pass the time I suppose."
"Left hand, green" Peter calls out from his spot on the couch. Then his phone beeps. He looks at it and smiles before popping up and handing Josh the spinner.
"Tell Carly we said 'hi!'" Helen shouts after him as he sprints out of the room.
"Um, getting sore here, Josh." Matt laments. "Can you help me out?"
"Sure." Josh flips the arrow. "Right foot, blue."
"Now that's a color I like to hear." Matt quips.
"Come on, Donna, join us." Helen suggests. I'm tempted for a minute, but I didn't really plan for physical activity. I want to look nice in case I'm in any photos.
"I'll just watch thanks. I wish I had a camera. Someday someone is going to ask me about tonight."
Matt gives a hearty laugh before collapsing on the plastic sheet and taking Helen down with him.
"I win!" Miranda declares in glee. I'm pretty sure that was a foregone conclusion.
"I'm going to get a victory snack." She announces.
Movement on the t.v. catches Josh's eye.
"It's 8." He announces.
Helen gets up, saunters to the end table and grabs the remote, turning the volume up.
"As more polls begin to close, we're ready to make more predictions." The announcer intones.
Within fifteen minutes he's announced Alabama, Arkansas, Missouri, and Oklahoma for Sullivan and pretty much all of the New England States for Santos.
"Some of those places still have people in lines." Josh grumbles, "calling elections this early is practically criminal."
"They do seem to be calling things earlier this year, don't they?" Helen asks in a concerned voice.
"On a state by state level, it's not as close an election this year. That makes it easier for them to make earlier predictions. It's the electoral college that we care about."
We all watch as they show a map with the tally so far. Sullivan- 92, Santos- 76. Helen chews on her lip a little. I know her well enough to know that she wants to ask if we're going to win.
"Helen, none of the big states have been called yet. Ohio, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Florida."
"That means the races are closer there, though, right?"
"Yes, and counting takes longer because they're bigger." Josh reassures her. "We're still in good shape."
"We're going back to check in with Amy. We'll be back before they start making predictions after the 9 o'clock polls close. Do you need anything?" I inquire as we make our way to the door.
"Let's go get some ice cream with Miranda." Matt suggests, taking Helen's hand. If he's worried he's doing a good job of hiding it.
. . . .
Josh is studying the exit data intently across the room, so I slide up behind him.
"Your face is frozen in an odd way."
He breaks into a wide smile before giving me his line. "Unattractively?"
"Not at all." I reply, twisting him around and planting a quick kiss on him.
"That's not how that's supposed to go." He whines good naturedly. "I was hoping for a walk or something."
"Josh! We don't have time for that before 9."
"Well, hopefully we'll have something to celebrate."
Thirty minutes later, we're halfway down the stairs when we hear cheering from both floors.
"Texas." We both exclaim at the same time.
"Jinx. You owe me a coke." Josh promptly asserts.
"Just a coke?" I respond sassily, "you're too easy."
Sure enough, as soon as we walk into the living room, Miranda yells "we won Texas!" Peter, Helen and Matt are all grinning.
We knew they would. His popularity never really took a hit in Texas throughout this whole thing.
"We have breaking news." Wolf Blitzer announces from the television. "We are now ready to call three more states. New York, Colorado, and Illinois, all for President Matthew Santos. And we predict that Governor Sullivan will carry Kansas, Louisiana, North and South Dakota, and Wyoming. That brings the totals to 172 for the incumbent and 120 for the challenger; both still have a long way to go to reach the 270 votes needed to win."
"But we're gonna win. Right, Tio Josh?" Peter asks when Wolf goes to commercial.
Matt's eyes flash between his son and Josh. It's a bit of a tense moment.
"We don't like to say it out loud until it's over, but we're in good shape. We have more paths to victory than they do."
"What does that mean?"
"It means when you look at the states left, we are more optimistic about winning more of them than they are. And we need to win less of the close races than they do. I don't want you to stress about it, but there is still a chance Sullivan could win."
"That wouldn't be fair!" Miranda cries out, "not after he lied about my Dad like that!"
Matt bends down and picks her up. She's getting kinda big, but he easily holds her up, looking her right in the eyes.
"Life's not always fair. But as long as all the people in this room still believe in me, that's all I really need."
"I still want you to win!" She insists, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder.
I have to say, I might not be 9, but I feel the same as Miranda. I want him to win too.
The ten o'clock hour finds us sitting around the room as Chris Matthews leads off with another round of predictions. I'm mostly relieved that Miranda's asleep on the couch and Peter is taking a shower as a bunch of states are called one after another for Sullivan: Nebraska, Iowa, Montana, Utah. When Ohio goes to Sullivan, I think we all gulp audibly. Then they announce North Carolina. It's been close all night. When Sullivan's picture flashes and the state turns red, Helen grabs Matt's hand.
"168." Josh mutters adding the numbers silently.
"We're still ahead." Matt states softly. But I don't think any of us likes the 4 point margin.
"How are we feeling now?" Helen asks in a tight voice.
"I'm feeling really glad that you guys spent so much time in the Midwest. If Sullivan takes Florida, we need to carry Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania to offset that and Ohio."
We sit in silence for thirty minutes with Josh flipping back and forth between the channels. Colorado and New Mexico are called for Matt, along with Nevada. But none of those are the close states we're waiting on. I'm wondering if one of us should go down and check in with Amy, but I guess she knows where to find us if there's something to report.
Really, we just have to wait on the counting.
Finally, the breaking news jingle goes off, and Wolf interrupts whoever is droning on." Michigan and it's 10 electoral votes will go to President Matthew Santos."
After that the dominoes fall, the blue wall holds and Matt carries Wisconsin and Minnesota as well. Josh lets out a loud "whoop!" When Pennsylvania goes our way. I'm sure that the Vice-President and Mrs. Baker are greatly relieved.
Speaking of which, I wonder when we need to get them over here. California will put us over. Matt didn't carry it last time, but Ray Sullivan isn't Vinick, and Matt has maintained a healthy lead in the polls this whole time. California will be coming home to the Democratic party tonight. I feel like I can breathe.
Within minutes of the polls closing at 11, CNN places California and its 55 electoral college votes in the blue column and predicts that President Santos has been re-elected.
Shortly after that the cell phone in Josh's pocket rings. He grins at Matt as he answers.
"Josh Lyman."
"Yes, Governor, he's right here."
Josh hands the phone to Matt.
"Hi Ray. Yes. . . . Well, thank you. . . . I agree, It's important to unite the Country.. . . Well, okay. Thank you for that. . . . Good evening."
Matt shakes his head as he closes the phone and hands it back to Josh. I'm not quite sure what the gesture means, and apparently neither does Josh because he finally just blurts out-
"Well? Did he concede?"
"Oh! Sorry. Yeah." Matt offers a bit sheepishly. "It started out typically, but then he felt the need to tell me that he didn't know anything about the conspiracy, and he promised that he'd get to the bottom of it."
Josh sneers. "I think we'll leave that to the FBI, thank you very much."
"I couldn't agree more." Matt laughs.
"Well, are you ready?" Josh addresses them with a triumphant smile, "it's time for a victory speech."
. . . . . .
It's after 2 am when we finally crawl into bed. I'm exhausted, but still buzzing a little, so I don't mind at all when Josh pulls me close and starts sliding the silk negligee up my body.
"I don't know why you bothered to put this on." He mumbles into my neck before gently sucking on the pulse point at its base.
"Because I know you like to take it off me." I whisper back in the dark, working my hands into his hair and massaging his scalp.
"Yeah, that's good." He sighs, and I'm not sure if he means the opportunity to remove my clothes or what I'm doing to his head.
But it doesn't matter. Words don't matter. Just being together that's what matters.
Consummating our bond. Celebrating our accomplishment. Loving each other. Making it through one more campaign.
. . . . . .
** 6 weeks later**
Our flight leaves in less than 2 hours and I'm not fully packed yet, how has this become my life? At least all I have to do is pack our toiletries. Josh would be fine just using the freebies at the resort, but Lulu and I need our own stuff.
Trying to move quickly, I yank open the cupboard, and then time seems to freeze as I stare at a pink playtex box. My head starts to spin as I try to remember the last time I had my period. It was before the election. Before Josh's birthday. Mid-October? Eight weeks ago.
Holy shit.
Shoving the boxes aside, I search for a pregnancy test. I'm pretty sure there's one left in a two pack I bought back in the Spring when we were trying a little harder and keeping track of things a little better.
I'm relieved when I locate it.
I'm tempted to call Josh in to watch me pee on the stick, but that's gross. And I don't want to get his hopes up. If I'm not pregnant we'll be starting this vacation on a low note, and he doesn't deserve that, not after everything he's just been through.
Once I'm done, I put the cap back on, set it on the counter and wash my hands. Then I finish packing while I wait the longest 3 minutes of my life.
I'm almost scared to look, but when I do a big pink plus is staring back at me.
Oh my god. We're going to have a baby. I can't wait to surprise Josh.
