Chapter 39
Fighting with the Distant Past
Jim blinked.
"What do you mean use the dinosaurs?"
"Exactly what I said." Taylor explained. "We train them to follow our commands, we use them like dogs or horses or bears were used back in the olden days. Heck, even dolphins and whales could be trained for reconnaissance. Why should these prehistoric creatures be any different? We know they're intelligent. We know they can be cooperative when they want to be-"
"A dinosaur .. army?" Jim stared at the former commander as though he'd lost his mind all over again. "This is your plan?"
Taylor put a hand on the Kaprosuchus' shoulder and leaned his weight against the dinosaur calmly. The Kap stiffened a little, but held his ground.
"Look, for better or for worse, this is our home. This is what we have to work with. If we can't use its own resources to protect it, then we're idiots who didn't deserve it in the first place."
Jim shook his head in bewilderment. It wasn't often he was at a loss for words, but this one had thrown him for a loop. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head again.
"Taylor-"
"He's right." An unexpected voice spoke up from the corner. Reilly stepped forward cautiously. "Sir. Not about all of it, but he's right. They're going to be coming at us with all the resources of the old world. We're severely outnumbered and overpowered on every front .. except this one. We need all the help we can get. I'm not saying that's the dinosaurs .. but we need a leg up somewhere."
Jim studied his own second-in-command with an unreadable expression. She met his eyes steadily. If there was one thing Reilly could be relied upon for, it was good sense.
"Oh great, it's contagious." Malcolm stood from the windowsill and dusted himself off, gesturing to Taylor and the Kap with a dismissive air. "And how do we even know that thing won't just turn and rend us asunder?"
"You don't." Taylor replied evenly. "But you could say the same for anyone in this room. Unpredictability isn't a uniquely animal trait."
Malcolm tilted his head for a moment before throwing his hands in the air and sitting back down in resignation. Jim took up the baton.
"With humans at least, you're usually on level footing if something goes south. You know where you stand. If he decides to turn, he could wipe out a room before anyone manages to stop him."
"He won't."
"You can't know that."
"Yes I can." Taylor argued. "I've lived with him for months, eaten with him, slept with him beside me. He's never once gone for me when I didn't have a shot at defending myself, and on top of that, he's saved my life more times than I can count."
".. two's not really that impressive a number when you think about it." This muttered comment coming, of course, from Lucas. Jim ignored the insubordination from the back half of the room, looking down instead to meet the cold, wary gaze of the Kaprosuchus. They studied each other for a minute.
"How? How has he saved your life?"
Taylor huffed impatiently.
"Look, Shannon, I know you don't trust either one of us right now, but I trust him. Under the circumstances, that'll have to be good enough."
"Oh. I'm sure that'll be a great comfort when we're all murdered in our beds."
Taylor stared Jim down darkly, his hair standing on end to the point where he almost looked like a wild animal himself. Jim stared back at him for a moment and then threw his hands out.
"What you have here is a balancing act, not a partnership. There has been no proof that dinosaurs even can be trained. It's a pipe dream, and it's an incredibly risky and dangerous one."
"How do you know they can't be trained? Good grief, Jim, did the education system fail you that badly? There are artefacts from all around the world showing humans using trained dinosaurs for all sort of things. Fishing, riding, fighting-"
"People have been playing games and imagining up works of fiction from the beginning of time. I've never seen a real person riding a dinosaur .. have you?"
Taylor flashed a quick grin.
"Actually, I have, but that's another story for another time." He glanced around the room at the silent parties. "Well? Anyone else have anything useful to add? Any other suggestions? I'm all ears."
Malcolm glanced at Mira, who had arrived somewhere in the middle of the discussion, but had remained mostly unnoticed in the darkest corner of the room until now. Oddly enough, she didn't seem at all surprised to see Taylor. When she caught Malcolm's eye, she nodded almost imperceptibly. In response, he sighed a little and dragged himself back to his feet.
"There have been .. signs .. that their - the dinosaurs' - behaviour patterns can be altered based on sound frequencies. I've been doing my own research on it. Not that I'm endorsing your insane plan, mind-" he added hurriedly ".. but it's not 100% impossible."
"Thank you, Dr. Wallace, for that vote of confidence." Taylor remarked cheerfully. "Anyone else have anything they'd like to share?"
"And .. there is the case of the ovosaur." Malcolm continued hesitantly, looking balefully at Jim. ".. your son's ovosaur."
Jim frowned.
"Inky?"
Malcolm nodded slowly.
"He's managed more with it than I ever would have hoped was possible. He even has it obeying some of his commands. Oh, just simple things - come, stop, but he can make it wait for its food. For a reptile, that's impressive enough in my book."
"But Inky's just a pet. He'll be released back into the wild soon. Maddy was telling me-"
"Bring it in."
Jim blinked at the man beside him.
"Excuse me?"
"Have your son bring the ovosaur here." Taylor repeated, sounding as though he was trying to teach a very simple concept to someone who ought to have known it already. "Have him show us what the creature can and can't do. At the very least, it'll put an end to this whole silly debate. Well, go on."
Jim nodded at Reilly, who went outside with her handheld to put in the request. Skye stared at Taylor nervously.
"What are you gonna do?"
"What do you think I'm going to do? This is the perfect opportunity to evaluate its usefulness in the field."
Skye's heart sank.
"You're going to fight it?"
"Or are you going to have him fight it and stand there watching like some guard in the Roman arena?" Lucas eyed the large predator beside his father. "I've known that little ovosaur nearly his whole life. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Not to mention he's barely more than a baby. He wouldn't stand a chance against that thing and you know it."
Taylor stared at them in dumbfounded despair.
"How bloodthirsty do you two think I am?!"
Skye and Lucas didn't answer, but after a moment, Jim's voice came from the other side.
"You aren't going to make it fight, though, right?"
Taylor turned on him angrily.
"No. I won't hurt your son's pet. Happy?"
"Not as happy as I'd like to be."
"Well, that's your problem." Taylor retorted, then the room fell silent. Time seemed to tick by very slowly as they waited for Josh to arrive. Lucas stared across the empty space, his eyes piercing daggers into his father. Finally, he ventured a low comment.
"Couldn't resist the prospect of a fight, could you?"
Taylor's eyes snapped up at his son.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You stayed hidden all this time. Didn't even bother letting anyone know you were still alive." Lucas responded evenly. "Now you show up spouting ideas about soldiers and attack strategies. War. It's all you care about."
Taylor's lip curled as he turned away.
"Bah. Run your mouth off all you like, Lucas. Nobody's listening anymore."
"You use people. It's what you do. It's how you work."
Taylor didn't even appear to hear this comment, and the prospect of being completely ignored stabbed at Lucas more than any sharp words his father could have unleashed upon him.
"Look at him!" He suddenly burst out, taking a step foward and gesturing wildly to the Kaprosuchus, who immediately grew more agitated. "Do you think he knows you're just using him too?"
Taylor reached out a hand to steady the beast and glared at his son.
"Are you trying to get yourself killed? He's just an animal. He doesn't know anything."
"Or maybe he's just using you as well."
"Stop it."
"Maybe he's playing games with you." Lucas insisted doggedly. "He's just biding his time .."
Taylor's cold glare shot across the room.
"Or maybe you're playing games with me."
Lucas smirked.
"Look at his eyes. He doesn't care about you, old man. One day you'll turn your back on him and-"
"Is this your messed up way of showing concern for me?"
Lucas laughed hoarsely.
"Don't kid yourself. If you think that, you're even crazier than everyone thinks."
Taylor took a threatening step toward Lucas, who subconsciously mirrored the movement.
"Listen, boy, I don't have to take this from you."
"Why not? You've taken everything else from me."
Skye reached out a hand as he moved to take another step closer.
"Lucas-"
"Let them go .." Jim spoke up, in full hearing of everyone in the room. ".. or we'll never have any peace."
Taylor chose to ignore this comment, his attention still focused on Lucas.
"Son-"
"Don't. I'm not your son." Lucas muttered automatically, as if they'd rehearsed the conversation a thousand times before. "Not anymore."
"Unfortunately, that's not something you can just decide on a whim."
"You think I decided to disown you on a whim? I practically had-"
A loud screech and rattle drowned him out. Josh winced apologetically as everyone turned toward the doorway. As he looked over at his father, he almost dropped the large cage again, triggering another series of sharp rattles and shrieks.
"Taylor?!"
He received only an eye roll in reply from that sector, but Jim gestured to him with badly-hidden relief.
"Josh. Bring Inky over here, will you?"
Josh approached them nervously, coming to a terrified stop in the centre of the room when he caught sight of the Kaprosuchus. When he finally reached them, Jim gave him a brief smile and turned to the man beside him expectantly. Taylor folded his arms and examined the cage for a moment.
"Put it on the ground and open the latch."
Josh glanced at his father as he lowered the cage. Jim nodded, his hand resting lightly near the sonic on his desk.
"Go ahead."
Still Josh hesitated, staring at the Kaprosuchus.
"Get rid of him first."
"He's fine. He does what I tell him to." Taylor eyed Josh. "Can you control him?"
"More or less." Josh commented warily. Taylor nodded and reached down, flicking the latch and swinging the door wide open. Despite Josh's outraged protests, Inky poked his head out of the opening and looked around the room, curiosity etched on every part of his small face. The Kaprosuchus' eyes lit up instantly at the sight of the ovosaur. He began to creep closer. Taylor and Josh noticed at the same moment, but while the former only gave the animal a warning slap, Josh made a dive for the gun on his father's desk. A low growl rumbled in the Kap's throat as the pistol was leveled at its face. Even Taylor now had an air of mild anxiety. He spoke to Josh in a low voice.
"You don't want to do that, son. Put the weapon down. I can control him. I promise. But it makes it one hundred percent harder with you threatening him. Surrender. Now."
Josh hesitated, holding the gun in place shakily. He glanced at Jim, who reached out and put a hand on his son's arm.
"It's alright. Drop it."
Josh complied, and immediately the Kaprosuchus seemed to relax a little. Inky, who had noticed the intruder by now, was cowering at the back of his cage and refused to leave it. When the Kap began to creep closer again, Taylor slapped him harder.
"Get out of it. Or the next one'll be in the eye, got it?" He gestured to Josh. "Call him out."
Josh cast a glance at Skye and Lucas, who were watching with mounting apprehension from across the room. Then he shrugged helplessly and moved over toward them, turning to call Inky's name. The ovosaur hesitated for a moment .. but the cage was horribly cramped and he did want so badly to stretch his legs .. and that horrible monster didn't seem to be hungry, and his tall friend was calling him .. and that usually meant fish .. and he did love fish ..
Inky paused for half a second longer before bounding out of the cage and speeding away gleefully, making a sharp circle around Josh before coming to a halt at his feet. Josh petted his head affectionately. The Kaprosuchus, by contrast, stared up at Taylor disrespectfully, but the man beside him only gave him a warning look and turned back to the other pair.
"That's very good. Very good." Taylor muttered softly. "What else can he do?"
As Josh put the small ovosaur through his paces, Taylor exchanged a few wordless glances with his successor. After the last demonstration, which involved Inky staying put as Josh moved out of sight (which involved a lot of squirming on the ovosaur's part), then coming to find him at his whistle, Jim shrugged. The plan had a small chance. It was still crazy, but it wasn't impossible, and - he reminded himself - they had been forced to resort to somewhat crazy plans in the past. They usually worked out alright in the end. And as much as he hated the surge of panic that washed over him when he was forced to face facts, it was looking like this was their best shot. The future as it stood was looking pretty hopeless. He wasn't sure if anyone besides Taylor yet had fully realised how close the colony hovered to extinction already. If the dinosaurs could tip the scale a little more in their favour ..
Taylor was nodding eagerly.
"Can you train him to attack on command?"
Josh looked up from patting the ovosaur, startled.
"Why would I want to do that?"
"Nevermind why. Could you, if you had to?"
"No!" Josh glanced uneasily at his father, then back to Taylor. "He wouldn't hurt anyone. Ever."
"I'm not asking if he would." Taylor repeated impatiently. "I'm asking if he could. So could he learn to attack?"
"I .. don't know." Josh answered truthfully. "I've never seen him attack. Not seriously. I don't even know if he has it in him."
"Well." Taylor smiled finally. "That's what you and I are going to find out."
Josh blinked.
"What?"
"You two are going to come train with me. I want to see what you're really capable of."
Josh laughed a little.
"What, we're being recruited?"
"Not recruited exactly. But I want to know if it's possible to train these animals up to be soldiers, protectors, weapons. I need to know if they can attack on command, if they can be trusted not to run from a fight. Will you help me?"
"No." Josh responded immediately, sounding incredibly unmoved by the proposal. Lucas raised an eyebrow and glanced at Skye, who continued to stare at Josh. The young doctor reached down and petted Inky's head for a moment, leaving Taylor waiting in annoyance for any sort of elaboration. Jim hid a smile as Josh straightened.
"I won't help you teach him to be a killer." Taylor bristled in irritation and opened his mouth to respond, but Josh wasn't finished. "I will, however, allow you to teach us whatever you think you can."
Josh glanced at his father seriously.
"I know things aren't going to get any easier for us in the future. If this can help - if he can help .. count us in. On one condition."
"What?" Taylor snapped. Josh raised his chin a little.
"I'm calling the shots. You'll give advice, but I'll decide when and if we follow it. Deal?"
Taylor make a choking sort of noise in his throat and turned to Jim with a shake of his head, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.
"Very well. Your boy has spoken."
"I guess he has." Jim smiled quietly at his son before turning to address Taylor. "Alright, you can start your dinosaur-training scheme. But herbivores only, understand? Start with something easy. Ask Malcolm for advice. I'll leave small omnivores - ovosaurs and the like - to your own discretion. You can build capture pens outside the colony. I'll assign some men to help you. But I don't want any arms bitten off or eyes gouged out of their sockets. And I especially don't want to come out and see any carnos thumping around out there."
Taylor grinned.
"Good for you, Shannon. I knew you'd see reason eventually."
"This is your project." Jim repeated. "That means you look after it. And this is just for a probationary period, though goodness knows I should really be throwing you in the brig. Still, these are extraordinary circumstances-"
"Survival isn't always black and white." Taylor interjected. "But don't worry about the colony. This'll work, I know it."
He slapped Jim on the back.
"But I won't promise not to tell you I told you so."
"I'll look forward to it." Jim commented wryly, turning to glance at the silent predator nearby. "But a word of warning - if that thing hurts anyone, I'm getting the biggest gun I can find and shooting him myself. So keep him under control."
"Roger that."
Jim turned to address the rest of the room, feeling oddly as though a heavy weight had somehow been lifted from his shoulders.
"Alright, you've all been witnesses to this conversation. What comes as a result of it is going to be hard for the colony to understand. I expect you to try and reassure them, ease the transition as much as possible. Can you do that?"
He received several solemn nods in reply. Lucas stared at the floor.
"Malcolm, do me a favour and write up a report about your sound frequency research."
"And Mira's."
Jim raised an eyebrow at Mira, who opened her mouth to protest, but closed it again as if she couldn't be bothered with the attempt. Jim smiled a little.
"Sorry, I'd like a copy of the research the two of you have carried out on the subject."
"Right." Malcolm made a rapid beeline for the doorway, as though he suddenly found it necessary to make up for the inactivity of the past half hour.
"Oh, Malcolm-"
Malcolm poked his head back in.
"Hmm?"
"Layman's terms, please. You're not writing for the archbishop."
"Troglodyte."
"Mal-" Jim scowled momentarily as the researcher vanished for a second time. "Very well. Reilly-"
"I'm heading back to the Lab as well." Lucas muttered, pushing away from the doorframe he'd been leaning on and turning his back on the room. "I'll be working late as it is."
Skye watched in silence as he brushed past her and disappeared outside, his footsteps echoing back into the room as he descended the stairs. As the wooden thumping gave way to the faint crunch of gravel, a quick movement across from her caught her eye. Skye exchanged a look with Jim as Taylor crossed the room determinedly a few seconds later and vanished out the door in pursuit of his son.
"Son, wait."
Lucas groaned inwardly, but made no sign of having heard the command, though a dedicated observer may have noticed a slight quickening of his steps.
"Lucas!" The former commander was drawing more wide-eyed stares with every passing metre. The only person who didn't seem to be aware of his presence by now was the one he was rapidly gaining ground on.
"Wait!"
Still no response. Taylor growled mentally. Evidently his son had gone deaf during their separation. He knew better, of course. The slight stiffening of the posture, the unyielding focus on his destination - it was the same old game. Only Lucas had somehow never realised the fact that his father had picked up on the rules.
"I said wait-"
As they reached the outskirts of the markets, Taylor reached out grabbed his arm, simultaneously pulling his son to a halt and turning him around. He frowned as Lucas threw him off violently.
"I've been calling you from all the way back there. Didn't you hear me?"
Lucas shrugged sullenly and glanced around at the curious faces of the gathering onlookers.
"The markets are loud, I guess."
"I guess they are."
They eyed each other for a moment before Lucas held a finger to his father's chest.
"Touch me again and I'll shoot you myself."
As he turned to walk away again, a loud snort behind him made him pause.
"I'd like to see you try."
He was enjoying this. He could hear it in his voice. The man was laughing at him.
Lucas glanced over his shoulder.
"Well, maybe one day, you'll get your wish and we'll both be happy."
"Good luck with that one." Taylor shook his head with a short laugh as his son turned back to him in annoyance. "You always were a terrible shot. Couldn't hit a barn door if it was staring you in the face."
"I didn't hear Washington complain when I hit her square between the eyes."
Lucas froze as his father's face darkened alarmingly, suddenly feeling as though he'd swallowed his fist. Why had he said that? He didn't know what had come over him, but it was too late now. He had intended to rile his father up, but the sharp jolt as he hit the ground still surprised him. He gasped as the impact knocked the wind from his lungs. Taylor stood over him with his son's blood on his knuckles, the combination of the perspective and the thunderous expression on his face working together to create rather a fearsome sight. He seemed twice his normal size, and despite himself, Lucas quaked internally.
"Don't you EVER talk about her like that again, you hear me?"
Lucas blinked up at him for a moment and then managed to work a sneer back onto his face.
"Whatever." He stood up and wiped his bruised cheek on his sleeve. "I can see you haven't changed much."
"Neither have you it seems."
Taylor seemed to have simmered down somewhat. He could already see the makings of a big ugly patch of reddish purple on his son's cheek. The sight somehow had a soothing effect. Lucas was silent for a moment as he studied his father's face, wondering vaguely why he couldn't simply walk away. How many of those age lines had been the result of his own actions? How many of his father's grey hairs had he caused over the years? Probably not many, he concluded. His father had seemed to go grey overnight after ..
Lucas rolled his eyes a little and fell to studying the dirt. Finally, he muttered quietly.
"Look, for what it's worth, I didn't want to do it."
"You didn't-You didn't WANT TO?!" Taylor exploded, his temper flaming out again. "You didn't WANT to murder my best officer? That really warms my heart."
Lucas flicked his gaze around the marketplace. The amount of spectators seemed to have almost doubled. He dropped his eyes to the ground again.
"Forget it."
"Why did you have to do it?" Taylor groaned unexpectedly. The strange audible mix of pain and anger in his voice brought Lucas' eyes back to him with a frown. "Why did it have to be her? Why Wash? A woman your mother knew personally. A woman she respected. Think of how she would've felt. She would have been-"
"Disappointed? Horrified?" Lucas finished for him. "Yeah, she would've been .."
Taylor frowned at the edge of challenge in his son's voice as Lucas continued. He knew that tone. There was some hidden source of ammunition that he hadn't used yet. Something he thought would carry a painful sting, judging by the look on his face. Taylor mentally braced himself for the blow. Lucas was leading up to something ..
"She would've been horrified because of what I had done. She would have been disappointed in me, sure, but don't kid yourself and pretend she would have shed many tears where your right-hand-man was concerned."
Taylor scowled, knowing he should simply refuse to play the game. But then he would be left wondering forever. In all likelihood, Lucas would never bring up the subject again. He eyed his son. He was trapped, his common sense and his curiosity at war with each other - a fact Lucas knew very well and triumphed in. This was how the game was played.
"What are you talking about, your mother liked Wash."
"No she didn't!" Lucas choked. "She pretended to, for your sake. She put on a happy face and played the accepting wife for you, but in no way was she happy about the arrangement."
"You're lying." It wasn't true. He knew it. Lucas never lied if he could help it. The truth was often much more painful. Lucas stared straight into his eyes. There was no trace of deception, only stark honesty .. and in some ways, that was much worse.
"You wouldn't know because you never listened. She always felt that you spent more time with Washington, that she was your closest friend, that there were parts of yourself you kept from us and shared with her. That woman replaced her in your eyes and the more time you spent away, the more unhappy she got."
"That's not true."
"Yes it is." Lucas clenched his fists. "And then as soon as .. Mom .. wasn't here anymore, what did you do? Go on, say it."
Taylor remained quiet, looking as though he'd been stabbed all over again, so Lucas answered his own question.
"You ran off again, that's what you did. You abandoned me .. for her. Again. Just like you always did."
"You're making it sound indecent!" Taylor spat. "It wasn't like that. She was half my age, for crying out loud!"
"I don't CARE what it was like!" Lucas lashed out, pausing for a moment to take a breath. When he spoke again, he seemed a touch calmer. "I know what it was like. You spent less and less time with your own family because you preferred to spend time with her. You chose HER over us, and it ripped Mom's heart out. You just didn't want to see it."
"You're lying." Taylor repeated numbly, wondering irritatedly why that seemed to be the only thing he was capable of saying.
"You know I'm not."
"Wash was a good person." Taylor protested. "She was my partner. She saved my life more times than I can count and knew me better than probably anyone. But that was as far as it went."
"Wasn't that far enough?" Lucas' lip curled in disgust. "Wittingly or not, she tore our family apart. But she had help .. didn't she, Dad?"
Taylor shook his head and turned his back on his son.
"I don't have to listen to this."
"Where are you going to run to?" Lucas' voice caught sharply in his throat, annoying him further. "She's not there to save you from your ball and chain anymore. That's one thing I'm not sorry for."
Taylor turned back slowly, anger written into every line of his face.
"You watch yourself, son."
"Why?" Lucas shrugged wearily and slumped against a nearby pole, looking as though he no longer saw any point in fighting. "What other way could you possibly find to hurt me now?"
"I should beat the life out of you." Taylor murmured. "You've taken everything away from me, everything I ever cared about, everything I worked for."
Lucas blinked heavily and stared up at his father with tired eyes.
"I guess that really does make us even."
They stared at each other blankly for a minute, until finally Lucas looked away across the marketplace, fixing his eyes on the few small figures that were still visible at the Command Centre.
"She came to visit me, you know." He offered unexpectedly. "After Mom .. she came to check up, to make sure I was alright. Not that I ever could have been alright."
Taylor's brows furrowed slightly.
"Wash came to see you? I didn't know that."
"You wouldn't." Lucas muttered simply. "You were already gone."
His father shook his head as he digested this information, unsure of what to say next. Where did one go from here? Lucas saved him the trouble.
"She was a good soldier. And maybe she didn't deserve to die." The young physicist clenched his jaw and stared straight ahead. "But I hated her all the same."
A small spark of anger ignited once again in Taylor's chest, but he remained silent as Lucas continued. He seemed to be rambling a little now, as though he no longer cared where the conversation was headed.
"At least she died quick. The soldiers wouldn't have been so merciful if they'd had their way."
"Merciful?!" Taylor bristled like an angry bulldog. "Stop making excuses for yourself. It was cold-blooded murder. Pure and simple."
"Didn't say it wasn't."
Taylor fell silent for a while and then sighed deeply. The crossroads appeared to have arrived. He could drive his son away forever so easily, but Lucas seemed to be giving him an opening, whether intentional or not. Taylor decided to accept it with as much grace as possible. He turned to Lucas quietly.
"Look, son, I'm sorry you felt I abandoned you. It wasn't my intention." Lucas stared at him questioningly, but said nothing. His father took the silence as a good sign. "And I'm sorry you thought I saw your mother's death as your fault. That wasn't the case. We were both grieving in our own ways-"
"No, no-STOP!" The vehement explosion came seemingly out of nowhere, stunning his father into silence. "Stop it, just shut up!"
Lucas was almost shaking with fury. An onslaught of tears had sprung up unexpectedly and were now threatening to push their way out of his eyes and splash down his face. Even his jaw was starting to tremble dangerously. What had come over him? He struggled to scream past the lump in his throat.
"STOP with all the reassurances and the lies, I've heard it a million times! You've patronised me my entire life. Stop lying to my face and just admit it for once! You've blamed ME all these years and you hate me for it! Just man up and tell me the truth!"
There was a hint of a whine in the final sentence that irritated both parties. Taylor gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, wondering briefly if trying to knock some more sense into his son would help the situation. Probably not.
"Alright, you want the truth?!" He barked sharply. "Well here it is! YES, there were times after your mother died that I wished it was her I'd been left with and not you. I wished I'd saved her instead, and I knew it made me a terrible father and I hated MYSELF for it. Not you, ME."
Lucas had gone quiet during this little spiel, a fact which seemed to have the effect of calming his father's temper as well. Taylor sighed.
".. but recent events got me thinking maybe I did make the wrong choice after all. If it wasn't for me, all those people you got killed would still be alive. You're not the only one with blood on your hands; I'm guilty too. How's that for honesty?"
Lucas' mouth remained firmly pressed into a thin line, but he seemed to have won out over his tears, at least for the time being.
"It's a start."
"I wish I had been a better father to you. But it was all too much for me. I couldn't bear to stay. I couldn't bear living with the ghosts of the past any longer. I couldn't bear .. to see you."
Lucas had looked away and was now staring blankly at the horizon. He didn't appear to be entirely listening, but at least he wasn't screaming.
"I had to get out. I'm sorry. I truly am. And if I could go back, I'd do it differently .. somehow. But I guess it's too little, too late now."
"Guess so."
Taylor watched him solemnly for a moment.
"You know, my regret over you, my guilt and shame over what you'd done, my failure in protecting the colony just about drove me mad .. until I realised. Life is bigger than any one person. I couldn't control every aspect of what happened any more than I could control the stars in the sky." Taylor's brief smile faded back into darkness once more. "That's not to say some of it wasn't my fault, but .. I could try to rectify the wrongs in this world all the livelong day and it wouldn't make an ounce of difference. Bad things happen. But I finally realised I can only deal with my own problems. And right now, that's you."
Lucas snorted, seeming to come back to life a little.
"Thanks."
Taylor didn't seem to share his son's amusement.
"One solution was to kill you and avenge the deaths that came about by your hand .. but I see now that won't right the wrongs, it'll only create new ones."
"I'm glad you've come to that conclusion." Lucas commented dryly, turning finally to meet his father's gaze again. Taylor studied him for a moment.
"So where does that leave us?"
Lucas shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck carelessly.
"I guess you have a pen to build. I have my own work to do."
Taylor's voice halted him as he started to walk away.
"Son-" He hesitated as Lucas glanced back toward him.
"I've missed you."
Lucas stared at the ground expressionlessly for a few moments. When he finally looked back up at his father, he made no attempt to say anything. Taylor smiled a little and inclined his head gently.
"Go on. You have work to do."
Lucas nodded slowly, a look of mild confusion flickering across his face, then turned, walking back toward the Lab and trying his best to ignore the fascinated stares of passing colonists. His father watched him go with a hint of an affectionate smile.
