AUTHOR'S NOTE
Sorry that I ended up missing my weekly update! This has been my most difficult chapter to write yet. It hasn't just been dedicated hours, it's been dedicated months, and I still wasn't done by the time my "deadline" rolled around. I have over 12 different versions written, but in the end this is the one I thought would have the most lasting impact on the story overall. I hope you guys all appreciate the effort on this one!
CHAPTER 30
Louder Than Words
"It just looks like we're going back to Kakariko," Dark said sourly as he walked alongside Link. He had been promised the exploration of somewhere new today, and was not pleased to see them heading towards the same exact area as before.
"We are," Link said, and Dark threw him a disdainful look.
"You said we were going somewhere new."
"I only said not the Bottom of the Well, the Shadow Temple, or the graveyard," Link corrected. "Unless of course you would like to visit those places again."
Dark remained silent, knowing that if he said no, he would somehow end up having to go back there. It was not that he had any real objection to doing so, should it be required - but he would strongly prefer to not be there today.
"Actually," Link said as they began climbing the stairs to the village, "there's someone here who I thought we should talk to."
"Who?" Dark demanded, taking the steps two at a time.
"The person who told me about the Bottom of the Well in the first place," Link explained. "His name is Shikashi. I know a surprising amount of the lore around Kakariko, and it's all thanks to him. He taught me a lot about your people, too."
"Sounds like a real know-it-all," Dark muttered, and Link gave him a reprimanding look.
"Shikashi is wise," he said. "There's a difference. And please, be polite. He's much older than us, and should be treated with respect." Dark rolled his eyes, but agreed anyway. "There he is now," Link said, pointing out an elderly man wandering around the far side of the village. "Let's go say hello."
Shikashi certainly was much older than them; he was slightly hunched over and moved slowly as he paced back and forth, but his eyes and mind seemed sharp. "Hero of Time," he wheezed, beckoning them closer. "Well met."
"Well met," Link responded. It was an older and more formal greeting than most used, and the man grinned appreciatively at Link's use of it.
"And who is your friend here?" the man asked, leaning in closer to get a good look at Dark.
"This is Dark," Link introduced him, turning around and fixing Dark with a look that he hoped would remind him to be on his best behavior. Dark sneered at him, before giving Shikashi a guarded smile.
"Step forward," the old man commanded, and Dark obeyed, though reluctantly. "Just because you're called the Shadow of the Hylians doesn't mean you actually need to stand in one's shadow."
"The...what?" Dark asked, confused.
"How little you know," the man said sadly. "You're of the Shadow Folk, aren't you? Don't be so surprised," he said in response to Dark's sharp intake of breath. "I've devoted my life to learning everything there is to know about the Sheikah."
"Shikashi is a professor," Link explained. "He used to teach at the castle. That was during the war, wasn't it?"
"And many years before," Shikashi said fondly, closing his eyes as he recalled his days teaching there. "But you aren't here to talk to me about my old teaching days." His eyes snapped open, and he turned a piercing gaze on Link. "You've come a long way since we first met."
"Yes," Link said cautiously. While he respected Shikashi, both for his age and his wisdom, he had always felt rather unsettled by the way his eyes always seemed to be looking into his soul, and how he had always known what Link wanted to know before he even asked.
"You're looking for something." It was said so matter-of-factly that both Link and Dark looked at each other slightly accusingly, like one had come here without the other to ask first. "Now, now. Don't look so worried. Even an old codger like me can guess that much." He smiled at them, showing off a dark space where one of his teeth should have been. "I'm sure you would only be coming to me if you really needed help."
"If you know so much about the Sheikah, then you should know we don't need any help," Dark growled, and Shikashi laughed while Link looked at him reprovingly.
"You're quite spirited. I like that! But you could stand to spend a little time in one of my lectures. Everyone needs help from time to time. The Sheikah simply don't accept it until there's no other alternative." He looked sad for a moment, but it was so brief that Dark could not be sure he had really seen it at all. "There is one place you haven't looked yet," he said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "You stand nearer to it now than you know."
What do you think? Dark thought dubiously, before remembering that Link was not wearing his stone anymore. He scowled, reaching out to give him a sharp tap on the shoulder, but before he could make contact, Link had already spoken.
"Just one?" He seemed slightly amused. "You don't even know what we're looking for."
"Why should it matter?" Shikashi asked, grinning. "I have a feeling you wouldn't tell me, anyway. You're always so secretive, as is befitting for someone with a role such as yourself. Besides, I don't rely on material things to tell me what I know." He ignored the questioning looks from both of them, gazing up at the sky. "There are more important things in this world. Thoughts. Feelings." He looked sharply at both of them. "Other things that cannot truly be seen. I rely on those to tell me where my life's path will take me. Will you listen?"
Link and Dark exchanged a look, wondering what Shikashi was getting at, but they both nodded slightly at each other. Both were too curious at this point to not listen, even if they decided to not do anything with the information. "Okay," Link said at last. "You've never led me wrong before. So where is this place?"
Shikashi pointed straight ahead, and they turned around slowly to see he was directing their attention to a spot directly in the middle of the grassy field that lay before the village proper. They could not see anything unusual there, but Shikashi continued to point, his hand shaking slightly. "There," he said, urging them to see something that was not there.
"I think you've lost your touch, old man," Dark said, but Link raised his hand to silence him.
"I understand," he murmured, and Dark looked at him like he had lost his mind. "I've walked over that area many times. It's always felt like the ground can't quite support me, like there isn't really anything there beneath me." He turned to Shikashi, a grim smile on his face. "It must be a hidden grotto."
"Yes," he said, pleased that at least one of them had understood. "The grotto will reveal things that you both must know before you continue your search. You have been in similar underground chambers before, I trust. You may access this one the same way."
"So...with a bomb," Dark said, remembering how he had assisted Link in opening up the ground when they were in Hyrule Field together. "Doesn't that seem a little dangerous?"
"You're worried about the safety of the people?" Link asked, incredulous. "That's a new one."
Dark snorted. "Don't insult me. I'm worried about our safety. Not theirs."
"No one will see you," Shikahi assured them. "Tell me, have you ever seen people standing in that spot?"
"Possibly," Link said thoughtfully, but from the look on the man's face, he knew that was not the answer he had been expecting.
"No!" he scolded. "You have not, for you cannot. The villagers will not see you there, just as you would not see them. You may open the entrance, with a bomb," he stressed, with a look at Dark, "without fear for yourselves or others."
"It couldn't hurt to check," Link said after a moment, chancing a look at Dark. "Coming, Dark?"
"I suppose," Dark growled. "This better not be a trap," he said, glaring at Shikashi.
"If I wished to trap you, I would choose a method that did not involve me having to go down and retrieve you from underground," Shikashi told him, chuckling. "I also suspect you must be a formidable warrior, if the Hero of Time trusts you to watch his back. Why expend the effort for something you both could break out of?"
"I believe him, Dark," Link told him encouragingly. "Thank you," he said then to Shikashi. "If we find something, we'll make sure to let you know."
The walk to the area Shikashi had pointed out was short, and Link stood there, surveying the village as he fiddled with the bomb bag attached to his belt. No one was in the immediate area, thankfully, and of the ones who would be able to see them they did not seem to be looking in their direction.
"Ready?" Link asked, but Dark did not have time to respond before he dropped the bomb, covering his ears and leaning low. Dark followed suit not a moment too soon; the explosion made the earth shake and tore open a hole in the ground not unlike the other grotto entrances he had seen. By some miracle, no one seemed to have felt or heard anything out of the ordinary. Everyone was just going on with their lives, oblivious to the happenings in the center of town.
"You first," Link said, prodding Dark uncomfortably until he reluctantly lowered himself in the hole.
"You better be following me," he said, and Link nodded. He dropped in, and had only just started to peer into the darkness when Link appeared by his side.
"Don't tell me you lost your night vision," Link teased, seeing how he was squinting off into the distance. His voice echoed off the walls, bouncing back at them.
"Never," Dark retorted. "There's something back there. I can see it. I just don't know what it is." But before they could do more than take another step towards the center of the cavern, Link knew exactly what Dark had seen. An echoing shriek filled the area, stopping him in his tracks. He was unable to clamp his hands over his ears; the noise trickling unbidden down into his soul. Even as he became frozen with sheer terror, he could think only one thought: Redead.
Link had encountered Redeads before, but he had gotten very adept at playing the Sun's Song while he was still too far away for them to notice him. The light had the ability to paralyze them similar to the way their shriek had just paralyzed him. He knew that he would eventually unfreeze, and then he would be able to defeat them with a few well-placed strikes with his sword. But he was used to having to push through the panic they always made him feel. He was worried about Dark, who had most likely never seen or even heard of a Redead before, and probably would not know how to handle the dread that might already be coursing through his body.
But to his amazement, Dark suddenly appeared in his field of vision, looking bewildered as he searched for the source of the noise. It seemed almost like he was immune to the screams of the Redead; a talent Link hadn't even been aware existed until now. "Run!" Link tried to yell at him, but no sound came out. His mouth had not moved, and his vocal chords had not vibrated even the slightest amount.
Dark didn't have to wait long to see where the noise had come from. He could just make out two humanoid shapes standing in the back of the cavern. They had been totally still at first, making them practically invisible when they first entered the underground cavern, but from the moment he first heard that awful noise, they had started to shuffle forward.
He felt like he lost valuable time staring at the monsters when they first began walking towards him. They may have been human in shape, but they left truly being human behind long ago. He could think of nothing to describe them but zombie-like, putrid piles of flesh, with masks that used to cover what once might have been a face. The very thought made him sick, not to even mention the smell. But he didn't have time to get sick right now. Those abominations of nature were headed straight for Link. He had to save him.
With a cry of his own, he raised his sword and rushed at them. He wasn't sure what these things were, or if his sword would even work on them, but he had to try. Undeterred by his attack, they kept marching forward. He lifted his blade, positioning himself low to the ground and spun, putting his full strength behind his weapon. He felt the blade cut through rotting flesh, rewarding him with the creatures both stumbling. But still they kept going. He slashed out recklessly with his sword now. He couldn't think straight enough to come up with calculated attacks. As long as the sword hit them, they were surely being injured, and would ultimately stop being a threat. As long as that happened before they reached Link, that was all he cared about.
It did not take him long to see that these beings possessed no mind or thoughts of their own. They did not attack so much as they simply persisted, and Dark became aware that his sword was not truly hurting them, only slowing them down as they pushed against it in their struggle to get to him or Link. He could not be sure whether the bone-chilling scream they emitted was a form of communication, or simply how they hunted their prey, but the sounds came every so often, each one grating on his ears and almost seeming to slow him down. On one such occasion, one of the things had gotten close enough that he could see its uniformly yellow teeth, and smell its sewage-scented breath.
He would have screamed himself at the stench, had he not been trying so hard not to puke. Holding his breath, he shrank away from the horror in front of him, plunging forward with his blade. There was an almost satisfying sound as it slid effortlessly through the creature, and at once its mouth went slack; its already dead eyes behind its mask becoming even more so. With a disgusted expression, he pulled his sword out, watching the thing collapse lifeless on the ground in front of him.
If not for the echoing scream, that seemed almost in response to the death of what in life may have been its friend, Dark could have almost forgotten there was another monster in the room. As his eyes darted around the room, he noticed movement close to Link and stopped, terror-stricken. Though Link seemed incapable of moving, his face was frozen in terror, and his eyes, wide in fright, were directed at the creature as it approached, it's decaying mouth open and ready to strike.
"No!" he cried, reaching out hopelessly towards the situation. He needed to get there, to protect Link, only he would never make it in time. But, as he felt the panic rush in and seize him, he felt something unfamiliar - something that seemed to be pulling both his need and his panic out of him - and a rush of darkness shot out of his outstretched hand, growing in size the farther it went, engulfing the creature. And then, as soon as the shadow had arisen, it dissipated, seemingly taking the creature with it.
"Did..." Dark's breaths were coming out rapid and shallow, and he bent over, drawing his hand up to his face. "Did that...come from me?" His hand looked no different than it had before - but it felt rather tingly, and there was an exhaustion creeping in that had nothing to do with his physical feats of the day.
He sighed, putting his hand down at his side and resheathing his sword. He listened intently, for the sounds of more of those creatures, or even of something else lurking in the dark. But the only thing he heard was the slight shifting of fabric as Link was released at last from the effects of the lingering, eerie shriek.
"Link," he whispered. He looked up, and before he could process more than that thought, he ran over to him, his hands coming up to grip his shoulders. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice full of concern.
"Of course," Link said, his face breaking out into a broad grin. "Dark, that was amazing! I told you, all you need -"
"Don't worry me like that again," Dark said commandingly, barely paying attention to what Link had said. He could not get the image of that thing out of his head, and though he knew that neither of the creatures had touched him, he had to check. Tentatively, he drew Link closer to him, determined to make sure he had not been injured or otherwise hurt during the scuffle.
"You...you were worried?" Link had stumbled forward as Dark tugged at his shoulders with a surprising amount of strength, regaining his balance only by putting his arms loosely around the Sheikah. "But why?"
"Why was I worried?" Dark sounded incredulous. "The best and strongest fighter in the land can't even lift a finger against..." he waved his hand around ambiguous, "whatever those things were, and I'm not supposed to worry? Besides," he said, looking softly into Link's eyes. "I...care about you. A lot. Of course I was worried."
Link stared at him in disbelief, suddenly feeling more nervous than he had even when watching Dark fight the Redeads by himself. He had not noticed how close they were to each other; how near an embrace they were standing even now. He blinked at Dark, processing his words for what seemed like an extraordinarily long amount of time, and gasped as Dark set his forehead against his.
"Say something," Dark begged him, continued panic from the situation evident in his voice. "Please."
But words were not coming, not when actions spoke so much louder. He could no longer help himself; with Dark's unexpected proclamation and their close proximity to each other, Link pulled him in close and kissed him; expressing every ounce of feeling he had for the Sheikah before pulling away. But one look at Dark's surprised expression brought him back to reality, and he closed his eyes, guilt and shame creeping up on him. "Dark, I'm -" sorry, was what he had been about to say, but the feel of Dark's lips on his once more stopped him mid-sentence.
Had it not been for the dank, unfamiliar walls of the cavern surrounding them and the lingering smell of the Redeads, Link would have said this could not be real. But no dream as good as this could contain so many nightmarish elements; and he felt no waking tug from his consciousness as Dark released him.
"You better not have been about to say 'sorry'," Dark whispered, happiness shining through on his face like never before. "Because I'm certainly not."
Link stayed lost in thought nearly the entire way home. He had refused to take the normal route, instead whisking them away to the Temple of Time with his ocarina, and taking a back route through the alleys of Castle Town. There was too much of a delicate balance at risk, that of offending the townspeople and offending Dark, neither of which he wanted to do. Now, though, it was obvious to him that he would have to choose in the end.
He paced nervously once they were safely behind closed doors, ignoring the worried look that Dark was giving him. He had to know, he realized, and he fixed Dark with a look of desperation. "How long?" he asked. It was an easier question than the one he really wanted to ask.
Though no context was given, Dark immediately understood. It was not something he had really given thought to before now, but he knew the answer almost immediately, because he knew something had changed at that moment. "Since you rescued me from the Gerudo," he admitted.
Link frowned, resuming his pacing. He had infused Dark with light magic shortly after that rescue. Had he inadvertently passed some of his feelings on with it? He had tried so hard not to influence Dark, and not to reveal how he truly felt, all of which seemed to be for naught now.
"Could you stop that?" Dark said angrily, gesturing at Link. "You're making me dizzy."
"Sorry," Link said shortly, but he did stop pacing, instead fiddling nervously with the edges of his tunic.
"That's it, isn't it," Dark said, realization dawning over him. "You are sorry. About what happened."
"I..." it was a hard question to answer. He was glad he had done it, in some ways. He had been living a lie daily, pretending Dark was nothing more to him than a friend, and he would no longer have to do that. But he could not see a path forward from here, at least not one that ended well, as he could not see a way in which someone didn't get hurt. "It's complicated," he said at last.
"Then maybe you should explain it to me," Dark said from between clenched teeth.
Dark did deserve to know the truth; any decision made would impact him after all. But that would mean telling him that Hyrule would not approve of their relationship; that they would have to be together in secret. It would mean he would need to explain how their eventual separation would lead to pain they could save themselves from. And most importantly, it would mean confessing the full extent of his feelings, something he did not feel ready to do yet. "I can't," he said miserably.
Dark stared at him incredulously. He had not been entirely sure what to expect, but he had been so certain it would not be this strange, reluctant rejection that Link seemed to be giving him. "It's me, isn't it?" he asked as he fought to control his breathing, feeling his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. "I'm not good enough." It was a feeling he was getting used to at this point; he never seemed to be able to do anything right, and this was no different.
"Never," Link said, taking a step towards Dark. "Say that. Ever." He pulled Dark into an unexpected hug, wishing that things could be different even as he drew back and held him tightly by the shoulder. "You are more than good enough. You always will be."
"But?" Dark prompted him, knowing there must be something more behind Link's behavior.
"But I'm not sure where to go from here," Link admitted. He knew exactly where he would want any relationship between him and Dark to go, but with so many things standing in their way, it seemed unlikely.
"What's wrong with where we are now?" Dark asked slyly, leaning in just a bit closer. "I like the way you make me feel. I like you."
They were not words Link had expected to hear, especially when spoken with such blunt honesty, and he stared at Dark in disbelief. Before today, Link thought Dark merely tolerated him. Even upon hearing that he had wanted to kiss him for quite some time, he thought he had influenced him in some way. But if Dark really did like him - really did have feelings for him - that changed everything. He had thought it an impossibility before, but he did not think he was strong enough to pass up this sort of opportunity.
"I like you too," he said softly. "A lot more than I should."
His phrasing sounded a bit strange to Dark, who laughed lightly. "What, is there some unwritten rule that heroes aren't supposed to be...'involved'?"
"Sort of," Link murmured, and Dark froze as he took in those words and what it meant for them.
"Oh," he said, surprised. He knew there was nothing Link took more seriously than his responsibilities as Hyrule's hero. This must have been something he had been considering for some time. It was small comfort to him that Link seemed so withdrawn not because of him, but because of the duties that had been placed upon him - duties which, undoubtedly, his precious land thought that any sort of fraternization might interfere with. "No one has to know," he told him hopefully. "We can keep this a secret."
"I appreciate that," Link said with just a hint of a smile, but something still seemed wrong, and Dark frowned.
"There's something else," he guessed, and Link's downcast gaze told him he was right. "Please tell me," he begged, and Link looked up in astonishment more at the word 'please' than for any other reason.
It had never been this difficult to talk to Dark before, and yet, he supposed they had never discussed anything quite as emotional as this. He had not planned to bring this up with Dark at all, let alone today. But he could not refuse his request, not when something so important to him was at stake.
"I'm just not sure this is a good idea," he said glumly. "We both have responsibilities that are eventually going to keep us from each other. I have my duty to Hyrule, just as you have your duty to your brother - and the rest of your family. We're only traveling the same path for so long. After that..." He left it open. He could not predict exactly what would happen, but he could not see a situation in which this ended well for them.
"Always the Hero," Dark said, shaking his head. "Take a little time for yourself! Hyrule will forgive you if you take a day off. I've certainly taken my fair share of days off, and no one seems to care."
If he was not feeling so guilty about the whole situation, he would have laughed. As it was though, all he could manage was a small smile. "One day, Dark, you will leave Hyrule, and go on to new places in the pursuit of your goals. Nothing is more important than getting you there," he said sadly. "I can't let my feelings get in the way of it. But the closer I get to you, the harder it is for me to let you leave. I guess that doesn't really matter," he said, comprehension dawning on him. "It's not like I could stop you from leaving anyway. But you could stop yourself. If you..." he stopped himself, remembering at the last moment that he was not going to share everything with Dark quite yet. "I can't interfere with your future, Dark. As much as I might want to at times."
Silence stretched between them, and Dark looked down at the floor, feeling somewhat betrayed. "Let me tell you something," he scowled at the stone beneath his feet. "I am intending to leave Hyrule, for all the reasons you say. But I didn't think I would be doing it alone. I thought you would be coming with me. I never imagined having to choose between you and this so-called 'future' you say I have."
For some reason, the thought of going with Dark had never crossed Link's mind, and he swallowed hard as he wondered for a moment what it might be like, to leave Hyrule and travel through unknown worlds with Dark by his side. For the first time in his life he could take the backseat in adventuring; letting Dark make the difficult choices and simply supporting him in his journey. He would be free from his responsibilities, getting the chance to live the normal life he had always wanted but thought he could never have. He could not say the idea didn't intrigue him - and it came with the added bonus of being able to stay with Dark. But could he really leave Hyrule defenseless, when it would still be many years until the next Hero came along?
"I'm not sure I even can choose," Dark admitted. "You make me feel like I have a fighting chance. Without you, I'm incomplete. A mere shadow of what I could be. It's been proven time and time again. Without me, you are always successful. Without you..." he fell silent, letting his words sink in.
"Without me," Link said somewhat uncomfortably, "you will be just as strong and capable as you were the first time I met you. You can do anything you put your mind to. Including," he said, pointing down at Dark's hands, "use magic."
Dark looked down, gasping as he noticed the dark aura that surrounded his hands. He had nearly forgotten he had finally unlocked the key to his power earlier that day, somehow feeling his magic being pulled from him as he struggled to defend Link from the faceless enemies. He clenched his hands into fists, watching as the magic was extinguished.
"And you're already learning to control it," Link said with a smile. "I believe in you, Dark. But you need to believe in yourself too."
Dark did not have a response to this; he was not sure how he could believe in himself after suffering so many failures. All his life he had stood in the shadows of people he admired, never being able to do anything fully for himself. This would not simply change because of one person's faith in him. "I would rather just be with you," he said forcefully, and after a moment of hesitation, Link reached out and took his hand.
"I want to be with you, too," he said, and it was true now more than ever, he realized. "But I think we need to spend some time apart. Not because I don't care about you," he clarified quickly at the look on Dark's face, "but because you will never believe you can do things on your own unless given the opportunity. I have things to attend to that you shouldn't accompany me for, anyway. I have no intention of bringing you back to the Gerudo, and yet we still have unfinished business there."
Dark looked away guiltily, knowing it was his own fault that he could not go back. "What should I do, then?" he asked, feeling like he would only make other messes if left to his own devices.
"Anything you want," Link said with a smile. "If you want to learn how to do things yourself, then you don't need me to tell you what the best use of your time is."
IN CLOSING
I spent so long with this chapter, trying to craft the perfect moment, but I just couldn't do it. Link might love Dark, but he will never be able to tell him until he finally realizes that love is more important than duty. And Dark might realize that he wants to be with Link, but he can't truly love him until he learns to believe in himself. As soon as I stopped trying to craft perfection, and went more for realism, I was able to pull this together. And yes - I will be giving Dark's magic some more attention. I feel bad that it got a bit overshadowed in this chapter, but it is important, and we'll get to learn quite a bit more about it in the next chapter!
Don't forget to check back for Chapter 31. Thank you for reading / following / favoriting / reviewing!
