Hey guys, I'm back after that whole fiasco a few weeks ago. Hopefully everything's sorted now. I know I said this was a 'don't think, just write' fic but now I kind of want to put some time into it and think about it, especially since I really want to get them back at Downton and I'm not quite sure how I can do it yet, so daily updates are probably not going to be a thing anymore. Anyway, here's chapter 30!
A Charlie That Came To Dinner
He rose with the sun, and the singing rooster somewhere off in the distance. Elsie slept soundly in their bed with Charlie in her arms whilst he dressed and prepared for his departure. The weather, though less fierce than the night before, still had yet to clear. Thunder roared outside, shaking their room slightly, while buttoning his shirt. And lightening struck as he put on his tie. Would this be his life now? Early to rise, late to turn in—no, of course not; that was him before. But it was different somehow. A week ago he was Mr. Carson, Butler at Downton Abbey. Now he was Charlie Carson, husband, father, provider. The factory whistle would become his new dressing gong. Except it would be more like a Siren, luring Carson to his inevitable demise, along with the others. Oh, how he loathed to admit Dickens right.
His thoughts went to Lady Mary and their conversation. "Come with me to Downton," she had said. What if he had gone? And what if he did go? He would never, could never, but... there was no harm in contemplating. There would be talk in the village, of course. Lord Grantham would certainly never see him, or Elsie, the same way again, nor Lady Grantham. And the footmen and maids would see them as hypocrites for not practicing what they always preached to them. "Do as I say, not as I do," he might tell them in his strictest voice. They would lose all respect for him. And yet, he found that path far more appealing than the one he must choose. He felt so ashamed. Too ashamed to admit the truth to Elsie.
Carson adjusted his tie in the mirror. Elsie's reflection showed her moving from beneath the sheets, and then waking, gently sliding her arm out from underneath Charlie's head; their daughter—it still felt so foreign to say—stirred at the change, but did not wake. She turned on her stomach, away from Elsie. He watched as Elsie crawled out of bed on his side, her cotton nightgown scrunched and wrinkled just a little bit from sleep. He caught a brief glimpse of her knees and upper thighs as she rose, allowing himself to recall—for a quick moment—how perfectly they fit around his form the night before. She straightened her nightgown and his hands moved to adjust his suspenders.
"Did I wake you," Carson asked softly, keeping his eyes on her through the mirror. She yawned as she made her way towards him.
Elsie shook her head. Thunder rumbled outside.
"I should be back before lunch," he continued. "I don't know how long they'll keep me for, but I doubt I'll be there all day..."
With one gentle hand, Elsie turned him around to face her. The same hand moved to rest on his chest with the other following it quickly. She hesitated when touching him—still not quite sure of him. He pulled her closer to assure her, his large girth and her sagging breasts meeting. He glanced at Charlie, making sure she was still asleep, before he placed a soft but dignified kiss on his wife's lips.
Her hands moved to adjust his tie. "Do you think... we ought to talk about what happened last night?" she asked him quietly. "I'm told Lady Mary left in quite the hurry."
He nodded. "She asked me to return to Downton with her." Her expression shifted into concern, and he felt a slight unease in his stomach. Perhaps she was thinking similar to him, wondering if he would go. He couldn't... and he wouldn't. And to assure her, he quickly added, "Which I refused, of course..." But he trailed off, his grip on her loosening and his eyes wandering to the wall beside them.
"But?"
But he wished he hadn't.
His eyes returned to her. "But... I don't like the idea of Lady Mary being the one to tell Lord and Lady Grantham about our—" He stopped; he was going to say their sins, but he refused to call it that in front of her. "I intend to write a letter of apology to him—to them both."
He heard Charlie hum and then shift in their bed and he knew she had awoken. Carson let go of Elsie completely. Her hands fell back to her side as they both turned to Charlie. Carson cleared his throat. "We'll... erm, talk more once I've returned..."
"Right you are," she whispered before turning her attention to Charlie. He turned back to the mirror, watching Charlie and Elsie through the mirror.
He was just a train ride away from Downton. He could go there instead and Elsie would be none the wiser. "Do you want breakfast before you leave?" Elsie asked him by the bed.
Carson locked eyes with Charlie; they sparkled. Lightening flickered outside of their window. "I'll eat on the train," he said. Of course he could go and sort everything out—to the best of his ability—but he wouldn't. He couldn't.
Just want to give a quick shoutout to all of you. The Downton Abbey fandom is by far one of the best and most interactive fandoms I've encountered on this website and I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate everyone's enthusiasm and feedback for my fics. Thanks so much, you guys are really awesome!
