Summary: "You could have been something. You could have been someone. But you blew it."-When Hermione Granger finds Draco Malfoy crying in the girls' bathroom, she decides to find out what's wrong. With only the girl who he despises willing to help him, things are going to change. DM/HG. Compliant up to Order of the Phoenix
Mature content and themes, explicit language.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.
Chapter 30: Beauty
Finally, she finished writing her letter to her parents, informing them that she would be staying at Hogwarts for Christmas.
She hated lying to her mum and dad. It made her feel like shit. She had told them that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley would be gone to Ireland, so Ron and Harry would be staying back, and that she wanted to stay back with them. Anything else would have sounded odd, and she didn't want them worrying.
She knew they would be disappointed, as they had been as eager to see her as she had been to see them. Christmas this year was supposed to be special...it was supposed to be how it always was before. Just her, her mum, and her dad.
Hearing Draco's words broke her. She knew he longed to be with his parents, but evidently, that wasn't an option. She wouldn't be able to go home, knowing he was here alone.
She needed to tell Harry she would be staying back. He was the only one who would understand. She had no idea what she would say to Ron, but didn't want to think of that confrontation at that moment.
"Hello, Hermione."
She turned around immediately, hearing an airy voice call from behind her. She knew who it was immediately. She could recognize the voice from miles away.
"Luna. Hello...how are you doing?"
"I'm doing well, thank you for asking. What are your plans for Christmas holidays?"
"Oh…"
She contemplated her answer for a moment, thinking to herself what she should say. If she told Luna the truth, it would seem odd, seeing as Harry and Ron were going to the Burrow, but she couldn't lie either…
"I'll be staying back this year."
"Harry and Ron are going to the Burrow, right?"
"Yes."
"I see." she hummed.
Hermione didn't know what to think of her reaction, of maybe her lack thereof, but decided to ignore it. Sometimes, when talking to Luna, it was good to glide by certain things.
"What about you? Where are you going?"
"I'm going home to spend Christmas with Daddy. It's good to give time to the people we love, especially during the holiday season. Make sure they know how grateful we are to have them with us, and simply thank them for just being there."
She couldn't do or say anything but smile nervously back at her friend. Sometimes, she felt that everything Luna said was some sort of riddle, but other times, she made absolutely no sense. Once again, convincing herself to look past it, she wished her friend happy holidays, and made her way to the Gryffindor Tower.
"Since I'll be gone tomorrow, I'll be mailing you your present on Christmas Day. I'm not sure what to get you, but I think I'll be able to manage by then."
"You really don't need to go through that trouble, Blaise. I don't need—"
"Fuck that. I'm buying you something, even if it is for familiarity's sake." he said, his lips curling.
"Fine. But don't be disappointed with what you get from me. It'll be something I pick up from Hogsmeade—"
"Yes, yes, whatever, Mr. Malfoy."
He shook his head at his friend, before moving to grab a sweater from his trunk. His hands searched until he felt a soft fabric under his fingertips, finally pulling out a black, v-necked sweater. He shrugged it over his white shirt, and made his way back to his bed.
"It's the 18th, and I still have absolutely none of my presents ready. I have no fucking idea what to get either—"
"How many people do you even have to shop for? It's always just your mum, me and a few others."
"Ah, yes...but this year I have a few extra people on my list."
"Such as?"
"Well, my mother's new husband for starters."
His eyebrows shot up, and he bit the inside of his cheek. Buying a present for his step dad...Blaise had never done that before.
"Wow."
"I knew you'd say that."
"I mean, it did come as a shock."
"Like I said, influence matters—"
"Bullshit."
He laughed, before leaning down to allow his elbows to rest on his knees. Suddenly, Blaise started speaking again.
"You know, her new husband is a half blood. All of her other husbands have been pureblood. She's always married rich, pureblood wizards. This one is middle class, and half blood."
Draco didn't know how to respond, but became caught up in his own train of thoughts. Blaise's mother married a half blood...it seemed like the most unlikely thing he had ever heard.
But then again, he wasn't one to talk.
"Like I said, I need to give her that chance. I need to give myself that chance. It only makes sense to start with Christmas."
He mumbled something incoherently, before looking back to the fireplace in their room, the green flames cackling nearby.
"What about you? You're sending presents to your mum and dad, right?"
"I…I think so. I hope I can…"
"Whatever you're buying me, make sure it's bloody expensive—"
"You'll never change—"
"That I won't," he chuckled, "who else will be receiving a present from your highness, Lord Draco Malfoy?"
"The usual. My parents and you. And…"
"Hm?"
"Nothing. Just my parents and you."
"Are you sure there's no one else?"
"What the fuck are you implying?"
"C'mon mate, I know there's something you're hiding." he said, with a devilish smirk.
Draco's heart began to race, as he cocked an eyebrow up at his companion. How the fuck did he find out…
Did he see him and Granger together in a hall? Did he see them outside of the Room of Requirement? Did he see them in the Astronomy Tower? Or Hagrid's garden, or outside of the Great Hall, or in the library, or any secluded corner of the castle? Every place seemed to bring back a memory of him and Granger…
"Don't tell me nothing is going on between you and Astoria."
"What?"
"Draco, you can tell me. Although I already have my guesses—"
"What? Astoria Greengrass?"
"How many Astorias do you know?"
"Daphne Greengrass's sister?"
"Yes. You also took her to the Hallowe'en ball. I'm quite surprised from your reaction, it seems as though I was mistaken with my assumptions."
"Why would you even think something was happening?"
"She implied it a few times. I don't know, maybe it was just my interpretation of it. You're sure nothing is—"
"Yes I'm fucking sure."
"Alright then. I'll let you off the hook for now, although I think that you're lying."
She nibbled on her bottom lip out of nervousness, twiddling her thumbs together, as she fruitlessly tried to tell Harry about her plans for Christmas.
"Okay, what is it? You've been doing that for fifteen minutes, what do you want to tell me?"
"How'd you know?"
"I've known you for six years, Hermione. I think I can pick up when you're nervous. Not to mention that you're very obvious as well—"
"I am not—"
"Yes, yes, of course. Now, tell me, what's going on?"
"Harry...I just wanted to tell you…"
"Yes?"
"I'm staying at Hogwarts for Christmas."
"What? Weren't you going home to be with your mum and dad?"
"Yeah...that's not happening anymore."
"Well then, come with us to the Burrow. If your parents aren't going to be home—"
"Harry, they'll be home."
"So then...why are you staying here?"
"You know...you know my…"
"Oh my gosh, Hermione—is it because of that guy?"
She realized that she'd bitten down on her lip a little too hard, and tasted iron. She pursed her lips, and felt a rush of blood run over her tongue, as she failed to form words.
"I...yes."
She snuck a glance at her companion, whose expression immediately turned grave, as he stared into the fireplace, deep in his own thoughts. His eyebrows furrowed, as he seemed to be thinking something to himself.
"Hermione, it seems to me as though your relationship with this bloke has gotten...quite serious. You obviously care about him enough to stay back."
"I do."
"Well, this certainly narrows it down for me a bit. Is it Justin—"
"Harry."
"If it's Justin, you really don't have anything to hide. I like him, he's a nice bloke. It could be Dean...I suppose he's okay, although Ginny says he was a nightmare—"
"Harry, please."
"Alright, alright. I'm just letting you know that between Justin, Dean, Ernie, Neville, and Terry, I don't mind any of them, and I'm sure Ron will understand as well. These are the only people that could possibly be it, the Slytherins don't make any sense." he said to himself.
Hermione cringed at his words, retreating in her seat ever so slightly, afraid that being too close would reveal all her secrets.
"And Hermione...one more thing. Do you love him?"
"What?"
"Do you love him?"
She jumped back at his words, never expecting them to come out of his mouth. She didn't know how to respond, as her bottom lip immediately slipped between her teeth. Finally, she decided that this time, telling the truth would be safe.
"I don't know. I have no idea what I'm feeling, or what I'm doing, or where this is going. I have no clue. And it's pissing me off."
"But…"
"But...somehow, there's something there, I know it. I feel it. It's so beautiful, in such a crushing way. It makes me all warm, and forget about everything else that even exists, but then the moment I'm exposed to reality, everything comes crashing down. Still, Harry, there's something there. And that is what pulls me to him. It's what keeps me glued on."
"Hermione, why on earth do you like this bloke? This seems so complicated, and I don't want you to get hurt. You're my best friend."
She almost melted into her chair, before an image of her and Draco laughing together in the library flooded her mind. Somehow, what she said next just came out, and even she couldn't stop it.
"Harry...do you remember, at the beginning of the year? When I was absolutely obsessed with Ron, and he started dating Lavender? Everything seemed so dull back then…I was drowning in an endless pool, and I couldn't swim up, no matter how hard I tried."
"Yeah."
"Harry...he was the one that saved me from drowning in that pool. He offered me a hand, even though he didn't know it, and pulled me out. He taught me to smile again, Harry, even if it is for just a few moments. He doesn't even know he does it, but somehow...he makes everything better."
"I see."
They shared a few comfortable moments of silence, in which they simply took in one another's words, and gave themselves a few undisturbed moments to themselves, just to think everything out.
"Listen, Hermione, I'm no relationship expert, but it seems to me that whatever is going on between you and...this guy, it's serious. I'm not going to stop you from doing anything, I just want to tell you do stay safe. You're the brightest witch of your age Hermione, remember that. Don't end up hurting yourself."
"I'll keep that in mind." she replied, with a smile.
However, for some reason, she knew she probably would.
This would probably all end badly, but she refused to let go of the few feeble strings of hope she was swinging on.
She was Hermione Granger, and she didn't let go.
Ever.
"All packed?"
"Yup. I'll see you in January, then. Don't get too lonely."
"Sure."
"And Draco...don't do anything stupid. Try not to be a dumbass for a few weeks."
"I think you need to restrain yourself from saying anything idiotic."
"That I do."
"Just tell him you didn't want Neville to get lonely."
"Harry, are you sure this will work? What if we just...tell him—"
"No, no. Not yet. It's Christmas. Not now. It'll be fine, trust me."
"Alright. Also...I just wanted to ask you for one favour."
"Of course. Go ahead, what is it?"
She waved goodbye to her friends, as she watched them leave the castle, on their way to the Hogwarts Express. Ron seemed to believe her explanation as to why she stayed back, but Ginny seemed a bit suspicious. Regardless of her questionable glances, she has been distracted by all the Christmas decorations, and had gotten caught up in a conversation with Luna.
She made her way to the Great Hall, eager to see this year's decorations. As she walked through the halls, she noticed wreaths all around the castle, with little bits of snow falling down, before disappearing right above her head. She saw mistletoe scattered around different doorways, and noticed a pair of students kissing at a hallway turn. Usually, she would have said something, but she left it. Everyone needed the involuntary rush of joy that the holidays brought.
When she walked through the gates to the Great Hall, she immediately stopped in her tracks, as her breath was taken away by what she saw.
Many columns of little silver and sparkly green evergreen trees, decorated with beautiful, ruby red ornaments lit up the room. However, the centrepiece of it all was the giant, thirty foot Christmas tree, right in the centre of the Great Hall. It was wrapped up with dazzling silver bows, and lights that flashed gold and red. Little golden chains hung down throughout the length of the tree, alongside gold and silver ornaments. To top everything off, right on the top of the tree, was a shiny gold star, sparkling down on the Great Hall.
"Flitwick really outdid himself this year."
She jumped up from the sudden sound, but turned to find a pair of warm, gray eyes, which somehow seemed to reflect gold, from all the flashiness in the room.
"It's beautiful." she sighed.
He mumbled something incoherently, but she heard something along the lines of "I guess."
The Hall was absolutely empty, with the exception of a few first years playing a game of exploding snap on the other side.
"My family does that as well."
"Does what?"
"The gold star on top. My mother always said it brought luck. It was all bullshit, otherwise I wouldn't be in this position right now. But it was still somehow...nice. Just having the star there."
She nodded her head, as she watched a pair of ghosts fly by, giggling about something to themselves. Classes ended yesterday, so most of the students were resting in their dormitories, or were outside in the snow.
"Do you miss your parents?"
His voice caused her to turn around, before turning back to the grand tree, admiring its beauty, as images of her and her parents began to flash in her head.
"So much."
He inhaled deeply, as he was unsure of what to say. With his hands in his pant pockets, he turned to gaze at the tree as well, his eyes moving to the golden star on top.
"You know, every year on Christmas, my dad would dance with me. Even if I was with the Weasleys, he always made sure to come over, just for our dance. He'd bring his old stereo, and play Let it Snow, while we danced outside, under the snow. Our toes would get cold, and our faces would turn red, but it would always be the highlight of my year. Just Dad and I…"
She trailed off, realizing she had begun to ramble.
"A stereo?"
She laughed at his confusion, and turned to look at his face, strands of his blond hair framing his face, his black turtleneck covering his neck.
"A stereo is something muggles use to play music."
"And—"
"And before you ask, Let it Snow is a muggle Christmas song. It was actually my favourite Christmas song growing up."
She saw him softly nod his head, taking in her words. She heard a couple of Third Years zoom into the Great Hall, clutching papers.
"Hogsmeade visit tomorrow! We can buy all our presents!"
She watched as the Third Years joined the First Years on the other side of the Hall. They looked like they were their elder siblings. She watched as they passed the the papers to their younger companions, as an idea popped into her head.
"Draco, I was wondering…"
"Hm?"
"We could go to Hogsmeade together tomorrow. Do our shopping together."
"Granger, I don't know if you're forgetting that many of the people we know are still here. I don't think they would choose to ignore you and I shopping together in Hogsmeade."
"We can use Harry's invisibility cloak. I asked him to leave it behind with me, I had a feeling I could use it."
"Invisibility cloak?"
"Harry has an invisibility cloak. It used to belong to his dad."
"Of course. Why am I fucking surprised?"
She shook her head, laughing.
"So...will you come?"
"Are you asking me out on a date, Granger?"
"I don't know. Depends on your preference."
She saw him crack a smile, which was rare for him. It warmed her insides, and as her own lips began to curl.
"Alright Granger. I'll go."
He pulled the covers up, and made sure to wrap them tightly around himself and Granger, before flinging a lazy arm around her waist.
"I would ask you what you want for Christmas, but I want it to be a surprise."
"Granger, you really don't have to get me anything."
"I know I don't, and that's why I want to. It needs to be special. I'm sure you'd be able to afford anything I buy you—"
"That is very true—"
"Twat."
When he awoke, he felt an odd emptiness beside him on the bed. Opening his eyes, he was surprised to see that Granger wasn't there beside him. She always stayed until he was awake. Usually, they would have some kind of witty conversation to start the morning, one that left him absolutely exhausted, yet somehow in a good mood.
Not seeing Granger in the morning had him worried. Where could she be? Why would she have to leave so early in the morning?
Just as he moved to get up, Granger walked through the door, and into their room. She was wearing a jumper, and her nose was red, evidently from the cold. Before he could stop himself, his feet carried him out of the bed, and directed him to where she was standing. He gently grabbed her shoulders to steady her, immediately getting her attention.
"Granger, where were you?"
"Woah, Draco, calm down."
"Where the fuck did you go so early in the morning?"
"If you look at the clock, you might realize that it's not so early."
Turning to the clock beside the bed, he realized that it was eleven already. He had slept in.
"That still doesn't explain where you were."
"McGonagall needed my help with setting up some things outside for the Hogsmeade visit. I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you last night."
His grip on her shoulders slackened, before he quickly leaned down to place a kiss on her lips. Moving back towards the bed, he grabbed his shirt, and slipped it on.
"Get ready, Draco. We'll head down soon."
They walked down together, tripping in the snow, laughing at one another as they fumbled their steps.
"Are you sure you don't want a hand, Granger?"
"Positive. I don't need help, but it looks like you do."
"Bullshit. I'm doing just fine."
Just then, Draco tripped over a certain large piece of snow, and fell to the ground, straight on his face. Hermione burst into a fit of laughter, unable to contain herself, as she watched Draco turn over.
"Very funny."
When she moved to walk by him, he stuck his leg out, causing her to fall right on top of him.
"Laugh now, Miss Granger."
"At least I didn't trip on my own and fall on my face."
Grabbing her by the waist, he flipped them over, getting on top of her, closing her in with his arms on both sides. She burst into a fit of giggles, grinning the widest smile, placing her hands on his chest.
He noticed that the snow in her hair made her somehow even more strikingly beautiful, with her smile radiating light for miles. He couldn't help but grin himself, as they found themselves laying in the snow, together on the Hogwarts grounds. Seeing her like that, he wanted to lean down to kiss her right then. She looked so inviting. Snow in her hair, rosy blush on her cheeks. But before he could do anything, she pushed him off, and moved to get up.
"I'm going to put on the invisibility cloak now."
"Why can't I put on the invisibility cloak?"
"It's Harry's. I don't think he would be too keen on you using it without his permission."
He laughed, as he watched her pull out an odd looking piece of fabric from her bag. She waved it over her head, and then suddenly, she was gone.
"...Granger?"
"I'm right here."
He jumped, as her head bobbed to his right.
"Stop that, it's fucking creeping me out."
"Get used to it, Mister Malfoy. Shall we go?"
"I suppose, Miss Granger."
"It's a shame Neville's grandmother couldn't be home this year. Hermione was really nice for staying back."
"Yes, Ron, she was."
"Hermione's so sweet, isn't she?"
The dark haired wizard sighed, before turning to look at his friend, his face full of concern, but only finding his dazed blue eyes.
"Yes, she is."
It took him a while to get used to walking with Granger with an invisibility cloak. As he browsed shelves, he would suddenly jolt up at the sound of her whispering something into his ear, or breathing on his neck. He could tell she was having the time of her life, never getting a better opportunity to tease him.
She would occasionally come out, and pick out her items, before she disappeared once more, walking around him, until he was done.
She purchased some books, sweets, and stationery supplies. He, although he'd never admit it, glanced at her every two minutes to see what she was buying, trying to see if he could identify his gift.
Once they had finished with their purchases, they left the busy stores, and headed down the town to a more secluded area, with less busy stores. Hermione finally took off her cloak, her hair a bit disheveled from being under it for so long.
"I've never seen these stores before." he exclaimed.
"I have. Harry, Ron, and I used to come to this side of the town very often. Sometimes, we needed privacy. This place surely provided it."
"I'm not familiar with these stores...although I have heard of the Hog's Head."
"Of course," she laughed, "the Hog's Head brings back so many memories."
"Such as?"
"That is a very long story, one I will surely tell you another day."
"What about Oberon's?"
"I've never been there, although I've heard from Mr. Weasley that they sell muggle items. Enough of the stores, come with me."
"Where?"
"Just come."
"You aren't planning on murdering me Granger, are you?"
"Even if I do, you can keep you wand out for precaution."
He laughed, as he picked up his pace to catch up with her. She crossed a big bunch of trees, and he couldn't see her anymore. It was impossible to see anything behind those trees.
"Granger," he called, "where the fuck are you…"
Just as he made his way to the other side of the shrubs, his jaw seemed to drop to the floor, as he beheld the sight in front of him.
There were beautiful mountains all around them, with tall evergreens looming above them. There were many small ponds around them, in which many frozen aquatic plants could be viewed through the ice. Small animals ran through the blanket white snow, as he advanced, and made his way to stand in front of Granger.
Somehow, even in the presence of such beauty, the most beautiful thing in his field of vision was her.
Her hair disheveled, a rosy tint gracing her cheeks, covered in snow, as her eyes shined in the light.
And when she smiled at him, he couldn't help but resist the urge to lean down and claim her lips once more.
Their kiss was slow and passionate, as they both savoured the moment they were in. Everything seemed so imaginary, he couldn't believe any of it was real.
Being with her there, in that place, and in that moment, he realized exactly what he would get her for Christmas. Like her, he also needed his gift to her to be special. No one on this planet deserved it more than her.
"Granger?"
"Hm?" she hummed.
"When we go back, you go get us some butterbeers, I need to make a quick stop somewhere. I forgot one last thing."
a/n: ahhhhh! Finally done the chapter! And you know what's also done? EXAMS! I'm done with that shit. At least for now. So, at the moment, life is good. This means you guys will be getting more consistent updates!
I hope this chapter wasn't too dialoguey. I feel like the conversations in this chapter were very important, so I just didn't have the heart to reword them as anything else.
Can you guys believe it? This fic is being translated! I was absolutely overwhelmed when Tessa Pevansie reached out to me, and offered to translate this fic into Russian. I am just so grateful for everyone's support, this is crazy, ahhhh! To check out the translated version, for anyone who speaks or reads Russian, it is up on , under Tessa Pevansie's profile.
It's 2:18 am right now, and I'm about to pass out. I just needed to get this chapter done, so that's finally out of the way. I can't wait to write the next chapter.
Once again, review and comment. They make my day. Really.
Love you guys,
Sydney.
