Chapter 30

Besides Rachel, Nicole also asked about Luke and Shelby's plans for Thanksgiving.

Nicole's plans involved driving up to Boston to see her parents and relatives, which would take the entire weekend. She tried to extend an invitation for them to join her and her family. As he did with Rachel, Luke promptly responded the two already had plans.

Truly, it wasn't actually a lie, but it was an excuse. The Sunday following Thanksgiving was yet again his "Dark Day" and like every year, Luke closed down the diner for the entire day. Instead of isolating as he had done before, he and Shelby would pack up and head towards their favorite camping spot, and with the "Dark Day" falling on the same weekend as Thanksgiving weekend, Luke figured it would be a good idea to take a four day camping trip this year. The fact the two rarely spent any time together over the last month also was an incentive to make it a four-day trip, just the two of them.

Luke had them pack up the truck Tuesday night and head straight to their camping spot from the therapy session. Though, since he was there this week, Lauren invited him to join them so he wouldn't have to sit out in the waiting room by himself. He would later wish he could have stayed in the waiting room.

"Welcome back, Luke," Lauren greeted him cheerfully when they were seated in her office.

He thanked her politely.

Lauren started the session. "Before we begin, is there anything anyone would like to discuss first?" She looked around the table.

Shelby went to raise her hand just as Rachel started to say something, causing the kid to quickly drop it.

Rachel stopped mid-sentence. "Go ahead, peanut," she reassured Shelby.

"No, i's okay. You can go, Mom," Shelby generously told her mom.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked, making sure first.

Shelby nodded with a smile.

"That's very nice of you, Shelby," Lauren praised, causing her to smile even brighter.

Rachel thanked Shelby as well and briefly brought up sharing with Luke about letting him know her and Shelby had The Talk over the weekend, thus keeping the communication open as they had previously talked about.

Lauren nodded. "That's good, Rachel," she also encouraged. "It's good to report to each other about what happens while Shelby is staying at your house."

She looked over at Luke. "Last time, we discussed open communication and how important it is for any kind of relationship. So, Rachel sharing with you what happened over the weekend was great, and something you can also do when she comes to pick up Shelby, so Rachel knows what's going on when she's with you. Like, for example, since you have her on school days, you can let her know if Shelby had a bad day at school or has a test coming up she needs to study for, or a project that's due soon. Or, if you and Shelby have a big discussion that Rachel needs to know Shelby is aware of now, especially now she's getting older."

"I mean, I wasn't too excited Shelby now knows about that stuff, but Rachel did make a good point, I guess. It is best if she learns from one of us," Luke admitted. "Plus, it takes the pressure off me."

"Yeah, so you wouldn' have to look like a tomato," Shelby teased her dad, snickering at the memory.

Luke gave his little buddy an annoyed glare, showing his displeasure of being reminded yet again of that awkward moment at the doctor's office. "Thanks, Shell," he told her sarcastically.

Shelby continued to snicker at her dad's displeasure. At least they could laugh about it now, even if it is at his expense.

Lauren was smiling as she watched the two playfully argue. Even Rachel was trying to hide a smirk while turning her head away.

"Anyway," Lauren said. Changing the subject, she again praised Rachel before turning to Shelby, who still needed a turn to speak.

Shelby hesitated for a moment before saying what was on her mind. "Nicole is back."

"Nicole? You mean your dad's girlfriend?" Lauren looked over at Luke.

Luke silently sighed to himself through his nose. He was secretly hoping Nicole wouldn't be brought up. He didn't think it was relevant to why they're there.

Shelby looked over at him as if she thought the question was directed towards him since Lauren had looked in his direction.

"Yes," he reluctantly answered.

Lauren turned her attention back towards Shelby. "What do you mean, back?" she asked, slightly confused.

"Dad and Nicole are da'ing again. Nicole says they are taking things slow and pudding the divorce on hold," Shelby explained.

Shelby laying it all out on the table for Lauren made Luke feel more uncomfortable than how he felt at the doctor's office. He sat up in his chair, fidgeting a little.

Lauren must have caught on to him being uncomfortable because she asked, "You alright, Luke?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. This chair is killing my back," he said. Though he was denying the real reason for the uncomfortableness, the chair really wasn't that great on his back to begin with.

Lauren agreed the chairs were uncomfortable but couldn't do anything about it. The only other chairs they had were for kids a lot younger than Shelby or beanbag chairs. The thought of sitting in a beanbag chair added more discomfort. Whose brilliant idea came up with sitting on a bag full of beans, Luke couldn't help wonder, silently ranting in his head.

Lauren turned back to Shelby to ask, "How do you feel about Nicole being back?"

Shelby shrugged. "I like Nicole. She's a nice lady, and she likes me and the Tinkerbell cup I go' her when I wen' to Disney World. I even asked if tha' means she will be my sss-tep mom like Roger is my sss-tep dad." That must have been while Luke had gone in the back when Lorelai had stopped by. He did not recall that conversation at all.

"And what did she say?" Lauren asked when Luke stole a look over at Rachel from the corner of his eye without anyone noticing.

"She said we'll see like adul's say all the time," Shelby replied as a typical kid response, some slight annoyance in her tone. It made all three adults exchange a smile between each other, sharing a quick laugh. The comment helped lighten the mood. "Bu' she said if things go well, she would be my sss-tep mom. Bu' she doesn' wan' tha' to ge' in the way of mine and Mom's relationship."

"That's good, Nicole told you that. It shows she's willing to have boundaries and is aware she is coming into an already pre-made family."

Shelby was silent as if to process everything, probably unsure how to respond. Lauren ended up explaining the importance of stepparents respecting the other parent, so Shelby understood what she meant before turning to Rachel next. "And, how do you feel, Rachel?"

Rachel shrugged. "What do you mean?" She was leaning her elbows on the table with her arms loosely crossed.

"Knowing there is someone new in Luke's life, and by association, Shelby's life, must make you feel pressured, especially since you just got back into your daughter's life."

Rachel stared at the table, holding her upper arms now. "If I'm honest, there is some worry in regard to Nicole deciding she wants to put the divorce on hold now and see Luke again while we're working on things," she admitted with some slight hesitance. "Being married myself, I knew it was inevitable Shelby might eventually gain a stepmom. But the fact it's happening sooner than I expected... and remembering how she seemed to understand Shelby more than I did..." Rachel stopped, like she couldn't finish.

Luke noticed the corners of Shelby's mouth drop, along with her shoulders.

Rachel tried to hold a tough front, as Luke knew of her to do so. She opened her mouth to speak as she watched the table. She unhooked her right hand in a shrug. "It's like the universe wants to make this as hard as possible or something." Rachel tucked her hand behind her left elbow.

Luke fidgeted with his hands in his lap, staring at them as he listened to Rachel's fears. He remembered the fears he felt when Luke found out Rachel was getting married and Shelby would gain a stepdad.

Lauren nudged a box of Kleenex closer towards Rachel.

Rachel declined the offer with a shake of her head, holding her hand up again.

"Those are legitimate fears." Lauren was leaning in closer to her. "It's okay to feel threatened when your child has a stepparent. I'm sure it wasn't easy for Luke either, and his relationship was already strong. Now, here is a new mother figure for your daughter and you're still strengthening yours. That can seem unfair for you, and it's okay to feel worried or afraid. That's human nature. Is it at least comforting to know Nicole is respecting your role as Shelby's mother?"

Rachel smiled. "Yeah, actually, it is. I mean, I've only met Nicole once, so far. But, she seems really nice to me, from not only my first impression but also from what Shelby has shared with me." She looked over across the table only to have the smile vanish. "You okay, peanut?"

Both Luke and Lauren looked over at the little girl. Shelby had dropped her head and Luke could see she was chewing on her lip and some tears were fighting to surface.

Lauren pushed the box of Kleenex towards Shelby this time. "What's wrong, Shelby?" she asked with concern.

With the spotlight on her now, Shelby's shoulders tensed up.

Luke leaned over to affectionately rub a hand along her arm.

The adults gave Shelby some time to answer while giving some encouragement to do so in her own time.

Finally, Shelby took a deep breath before she could. "I don' wan' Nicole t-to make Mom go a...way like... Like Lor...lai did." She had to stop to take a breath in between words.

His eyes closed downward at Shelby's heartbreaking fear from Rachel's own worry.

"You think Nicole might make your mom leave again?" he heard Lauren ask.

Luke opened his eyes to see Shelby nod her head towards her lap.

Rachel was leaning her forehead against her folded hands. It was apparent this situation with Nicole was hard on both of them. It doesn't help that Shelby really liked Nicole. Not as much as she liked Lorelai, but close enough to make this hard on her especially.

Before they knew it and before Lauren could speak, Rachel leapt to her feet and made her way around behind Luke, dropping beside Shelby's chair to wrap the little girl in a hug. Thankfully, Shelby accepted the comfort and clung to her mom.

"I promise, I'm not leaving you this time, peanut." Her voice cracked a little and tears surfaced in her eyes, as well. "Even though this worries me, I'm still willing to fight for us. Okay?" He heard Rachel sniff in. "We'll get through this, no matter what."

Shelby held her face buried in Rachel's sweater-like shirt. She nodded against her mom's shoulder.

"Please don'." The pleading in Shelby's tone was apparent to Luke she wouldn't be able to handle her mom leaving again.

Rachel must have heard it as well because she ended up choking out a sob. "I won't, peanut. I mean it this time," she managed to reassure Shelby. It also seemed like a declaration for herself, as well. "That's why Roger and I bought a house. To put down roots and show you how serious I am. Like I said last time, having you scared me a lot, but it also made me realize a lot of things, like sacrificing for the ones we love. You've brought so much joy into my life, peanut. I don't want to put you through any more hurt than I already have."

Shelby sniffed in this time. "I have?"

"Have, what?"

"Brough' joy to your life?"

A small chuckle came out. Rachel moved back to look at Shelby directly, her head lifted upward as she was kneeled on one knee beside her. "Of course. You are so loving and caring, peanut, and have such a big heart despite everything."

Shelby wiped her nose on the sleeve of her shirt. It made Rachel flinch in disgust out of habit. Truth be told, Luke didn't like when the kid did it, either.

Rachel reached over to grab a couple Kleenexes from the box and passed them to her. She held her other hand to Shelby's side while Shelby blew her nose.

"You okay?" she asked when Shelby finished wiping her nose.

Shelby nodded at her mom. "I like Nicole bu' I love you, Mom. Really," she tried to insist. It was obvious telling her mom she hated her was still a regret.

It made Rachel smile. "I'm glad to hear that, peanut, and I love you, too. But it's okay to love others, you know. I don't want you to think you can't." She took a hold of her arm Shelby held on her lap. "I know you love your dad, and I can see how much you love your cousin, otherwise you wouldn't have fought me as hard as you did."

Shelby lifted her head, so it was even with her gaze when she heard her mom's acceptance of her relationship with her cousin.

"And," Rachel continued, "I know how much you love Lorelai." A smile appeared somewhat forced but was definitely sincere. "You have a lot of love to give and it would be selfish of me to keep all that love for myself. So, when the time comes, I know that love of yours will go to Nicole, and that is perfectly fine. Really." Rachel intentionally added "really," because Shelby had said it, in a playful teasing way to help lighten the tension but also helped Shelby understand she meant it.

"Might I add, you will always be Mom," Lauren interrupted the mother-daughter heartfelt moment. "Nothing can ever change that, not even a stepparent relationship."

Shelby twisted around to look over her left shoulder towards the woman.

Rachel turned back, re-grabbing her attention. "Yes, I was worried about Nicole taking my place. That doesn't mean I won't stop loving you. Like it or not, you're stuck with me, kid." She snickered at that.

It made Shelby unable to hold one back herself, showing off her smile she got from her mom.

When all was well again, Rachel suggested Shelby throw away her used Kleenexes and gave her some hand sanitizer to at least sanitize her hands. She then returned to her seat.

Luke was thankful when the subject of Nicole passed and Lauren asked how Rachel's weekend with Shelby went, aside from having The Talk. Shelby mentioned Rachel and Roger coming to see her be a statue the week before, which led to her and Rachel looking through the photos Rachel had taken that night. To Luke's surprise, the two mentioned Shelby had asked if Rachel could teach her more about photography than she did before, like Luke had taught her about his hobbies. Not because she wanted to grow up to be a photographer, but something for them to do together.

"So, we spent most of the weekend, with me sharing what I do for a living and a hobby, and the process it takes to develop film into photos," Rachel explained to Lauren. "Which reminds me, don't let me forget I have something for you," she pointed over at Shelby. "To take on your camping trip this weekend."

"What is it?" Shelby asked with full curiosity.

She just gave a shrug. "You'll just have to wait and find out later."

"Okay," Shelby agreed, but Luke could tell the kid badly wanted to know as she still was sitting on the edge of her seat. Her shoulders drooped in disappointment.

Since the girls had been talking about communication, Lauren continued even with Luke there, having them do a worksheet that talked about using "I" statements instead of blaming each other. Using examples from past incidents helped in expressing how they felt in the moment though Luke couldn't help be passive aggressive whenever Rachel directed one towards him when she felt frustrated whenever Luke wouldn't allow freedom for Rachel to make parenting decisions until Lorelai got involved which he quickly pointed out wasn't true, defensively.

Lauren immediately broke up the argument. "Despite the two of you not being together anymore, you both still have a responsibility as parents to raise Shelby," she explained. "That means, Luke, letting Rachel have the same freedom as you have."

Luke let out a sigh. "I understand, but half the time, she was being too hard on Shelby," he pointed a hand towards their daughter.

Rachel shrugged. "And, you're too lenient with her."

"Are not," he tried to start another argument again. "I set boundaries with Shelby, and let her know what to expect, but I also take into consideration what she's been through."

"I understand that, but what about allowing her to go home during the middle of the night?" she argued in return.

Luke was about to say more when Lauren interfered yet again.

"That is enough from both of you," she scolded both parents.

Luke folded his arms tightly across his chest, looking away out of the corner of his eye. "She started it," he grumbled to himself out loud.

"Really, Luke?" Rachel asked him in disbelief.

"It doesn't matter who started it, I'm ending it," Lauren stated, bringing out her Mama Bear tone.

Luke slightly slouched in his seat like a little kid who had just been reprimanded.

"Now," Lauren addressed both of them, "it is okay to have different views on how you parent your daughter, and since you both aren't together, that does mean how Rachel parents at her house is under her discretion..."

Luke immediately sat up straight and tried to object, but Lauren silenced him.

"As long as it is reasonable, yes. What Rachel says, goes, and the same at your house, Luke. How you parent in your home is under your discretion. Though, if Shelby was told she can't watch TV or play her games by either of you, because of bad grades or not completing chores, etc, it should be honored at the other parent's home."

Lauren pointed a hand in Rachel's direction. "If you say no to Shelby sleeping in your bed, just understand that it is allowed at Luke's. Okay?"

"What about if Shelby wants to go home early?" she asked.

"If it's because you took away TV or the games, then that means Luke needs to honor your decision to punish her for whatever happened, for you to set that punishment," she explained.

"What if it's because she's scared?" Luke pointed out, glancing over at Rachel despite asking Lauren.

"I mean, there's no rule that says Shelby has to stay. I've had to pick my son up from a sleepover once because their A/C made a strange sound when it came on," she replied while shrugging her hands apart. "However, Rachel should be doing her part to make Shelby feel safe in her home."

At that point, Shelby raised her hand in which Lauren acknowledged. "I'm not sss-cared to sss-leep over a' Mom's, anymore," she stated with a slight hint of pride in herself, despite the stutter Shelby was developing from trying to be aware of how she pronounced the sounds she still struggled with. "Felix likes sss-leeping with me."

"That's good," Lauren praised.

"And I am very proud of how far you've come," Rachel also praised.

The praise Shelby was receiving lit up in her face.

Lauren noticed Luke was the only one unhappy. He was happy for his little buddy, yes, but to know whatever happened at Rachel's was up to her discretion did not sit well with him.

"Everything alright, Luke?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," he lied.

Thankfully, Lauren didn't push if someone didn't want to talk about their feelings.

The hour was unfortunately up, and Lauren had to end the week's session. Thanking them for coming and being cooperative, she then asked Luke if he could stay a minute while they were standing up from their seats and throwing their jackets back on.

Rachel assured her and Shelby would meet him out in the parking lot where they were parked. Of course Shelby reminded her mom about the surprise. It made Rachel laugh at their daughter's eagerness. Telling Lauren bye, the girls left the office, leaving Luke alone with Lauren, who slowly came around the table. She stopped beside Shelby's pushed in chair as he asked, "What' up?"

"I just wanted to make sure everything was alright," she told him.

"Look, I don't like it, but I will start giving Rachel more freedom. Okay?" he reluctantly gave in. Though, things were a little better now that Shelby was older and toughened up by her cousin and spending alone time on her own.

"No, not about that," she shook her head. "Though, that's good. I think allowing Rachel more freedom to parent might take some stress off."

Luke glanced away for a moment.

"I just wanted to check in with reconciling with your girlfriend, or rather, wife, I mean."

He rolled his head back.

"Listen, I think it's great you're both taking things slow and not rushing things, and it is a relief to know, especially for Rachel, Nicole understands the rockiness and worry Shelby has with her mom at the moment."

Luke stared at her. Shaking his head once, he asked, "So, what's the problem?"

"My only concern is with you," she said.

"What about?" he shrugged, still not seeing her concern.

"Luke, you've been coming for about four months now and I've been noticing a pattern whenever your friend is mentioned. By you and Shelby, and also Rachel."

Luke suddenly froze. His heart began racing as his palms grew sweaty. "I-I-I...don't know what you mean," he said, tripping over his words as his hands shakily moved to his sides.

"I think you do," she countered, but in a caring, firm way.

He turned his head away, staring at the ugly grey carpet to rub the back of his neck.

"Going into a relationship with unresolved feelings towards someone else can have major effects. Like I was telling Rachel, regarding her feelings with her parents."

"That's diff... I mean..." Luke squeezed his eyes tight at his slip-up. "There are no unresolved feelings. Lorelai and I are just friends, I told you that," he continued to insist when he opened them.

"It's okay to have feelings for a friend. It happens, especially in male-female relationships," Lauren reassured him. "But, if you're gonna pursue a relationship with Nicole instead, you're gonna have to deal with those feelings. We can set up another private session some time if you need to."

Luke forced out a chuckle. "That won't be necessary. Like I keep saying, Lorelai and I are just friends. Got it?" It seemed like he was trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince Lauren. "So, can I go now? I'd like to have our tent up before it gets dark." He turned to leave.

"Listen, I know it's hard for guys to come to terms with their feelings, but it really is important you do so, Luke. You can't keep them bottled up forever. Someday, you're gonna have to release those feelings. If not to me, to her."

Luke froze once more when he had his hand on the door handle. Tell her? Was Lauren crazy? Can crazy people become therapists?

"I'm only telling you this out of concern for you," Lauren continued. "Things won't end well if you don't deal with this."

Luke suddenly turned on his heel, the pressure becoming too much as he was being confronted about this yet again. "Look, my relationship with Nicole or my friendship with Lorelai is of no concern of yours, so stay out of this. I agreed to do this for Shelby and her mom, and since you basically kicked me out anyway, why am I even still here?" With that, he yanked the door open and stormed out of the office, heading out to the parking lot.

Rachel and Shelby were standing on the passenger side of her Jeep with the passenger door open. Rachel was showing her how a camera worked, letting Shelby try afterwards.

"Just like that," he heard Rachel praise. "You got it."

Luke continued walking, getting into his truck, and started the engine.

He faintly heard Rachel say, "Now, take lots of pictures this weekend and next weekend when you come over, I can help you develop the film. Sound like a plan?"

"Yeah," Shelby replied in excitement. "Thank you, Mom." Luke watched her wrap her arms around her mom's waist.

Rachel wrapped her own arms around their daughter. "You're welcome, peanut. Have fun, okay?"

Shelby stepped back to look up. "I will. Bye."

"Hold up there." Rachel stopped her long enough to grab a camera bag from off the passenger seat, having Shelby place the camera inside before zipping it closed.

Before she left, Shelby motioned for her mom to move closer. Rachel ducked forward so she could give her mom a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you, Mom."

It made Rachel smile the biggest Luke had ever seen her and returned the kiss on the kid's cheek. "I love you too, peanut." She pulled Shelby in for one last hug, squeezing harder that time.

Shelby squeezed her mom right back.

Eventually, they let go and Shelby ran around the other side of the truck, turning around in the process to add, "Make sure to record Reba but please don' watch it withou' me. Unless you really wan' to."

Rachel waved at her with a chuckle. "I won't, I promise," she reassured.

Shelby hurried over to her side of the truck where Luke leaned over to open her door for her. She set the camera on the seat. Suddenly, Shelby booked it back around where Rachel had made her way around her own vehicle to give one more hug, this one lasting a little longer while anxious thoughts ran through Luke's mind of the conversation that just went on in there.

He rubbed a hand over his closed eyes, repeatedly, with his elbow on the door.

Why does everything seem to collide all at once?