So...I lied. This isn't the epilogue. In my defense though, the epilogue I promised y'all ended up being 14,000+ words and counting. I shan't dare put anyone through that.
Warnings: hospital scenes, sub-par court scenes, mediocre attempt at creating realistic consequences, vague mentions of abuse, torture, and narcotics, spoilers to season 5's "Outfoxed"
Agent Hotchner was correct; the following months were hard in a way Tobias never could've anticipated.
He did what Spencer asked and worked towards healing. Even after he and Ms. Jareau checked out of the hospital, Spencer continued to check up on him. He initially visited in person, but had to do so over the phone when he and his team were sent back to Quantico.
Tobias tried to remain positive. He was truthful with the doctors and nurses and followed all of their directions. Police officers came and went to guard him, yet otherwise didn't interact with him. He tried not to take it personal when people were wary around him and ignored looks of anger and disgust.
It wasn't much different from the last time he was hospitalized. This time, however, Tobias wasn't screamed at or harassed by police and he wasn't as afraid or as miserable. His doctor, a balding fellow named Edison, wasn't mistrustful nor was he warm. He treated Tobias with clinical detachment and cared enough about him to ensure that he didn't die.
Nurse Brenda was nice to him, though.
When Tobias first regained consciousness, she was the first friendly face his hazy mind perceived. He had vaguely recognized her, but didn't fully remember her until she reintroduced herself. Recalling her kindness, Tobias was delighted to see her and told her as such.
"Well, it's good to see you, too, Mr. Hankel," she chirped with a smile. "I wish you weren't nearly dying each time, but hey, you're a trooper. You'll recover in no time."
Brenda was often the one to check up on him and even surreptitiously slipped him some books or extra Jell-O or crossword puzzles. When she wasn't busy, she would take the time to talk to him.
On one such day, he asked why she was so nice to him.
She had offered a soft smile and replied, "Everyone has the right to be treated like a human being, Mr. Hankel. Just because someone makes a mistake or reacts poorly to circumstances beyond their control doesn't mean they lose that right. Besides, it's exhausting to be mean-spirited and bitter."
"…You can call me Tobias, if you want."
Nurse Brenda beamed. "Of course."
With Spencer and his team gone, Tobias didn't expect to be visited, so he was surprised when a man introducing himself as Clarence McConnell walked into his room one day. He explained that he was a lawyer hired to take Tobias's case and went over a lot of things that made Tobias's head spin. However, he gathered that McConnell was efficient and was surprised that he wasn't treated any differently.
"Don't you worry about the legal stuff, Tobias," McConnell assured. "I'll take care of everything. If someone tries to question you, you don't answer a damn thing and call me immediately. No one is allowed to talk to you but me, especially since you're still recovering."
Although the reality of needing a lawyer was dizzying, Tobias accepted the man's presence and was comforted by it.
Visits from McConnell occurred now and then, mostly to discuss legal matters. One day, however, he arrived with a request from a family to meet him.
"They said their names are Austin and Kimberly Ruiz, and they have a little boy named Ryan with them. They said that you had saved them before and wanted to thank you. If you agree to see them, I will be present the entire time."
Tobias wasn't familiar with the names, but a bit of mental probing had him remembering the little boy he had ushered to a neighbor's house and the parents he had refused to let Foyet kill.
With a bit of trepidation, Tobias agreed to see them. The brunette couple that walked in was vaguely familiar, but he instantly recognized the small, brown-haired little boy. The child shyly hid behind his parents who tentatively greeted him.
Under McConnell's and a police officer's watchful gazes, Tobias cleared the awkward air with an apology on behalf of his personalities and asked if they were alright. The conversation flowed from there. The Ruizes gradually grew more comfortable with him as they thanked him for taking their son to safety.
"Saving us was one thing," Austin Ruiz said as he hugged his wife close, "but getting Ryan out of there was the most important thing."
"I'm so relieved that he didn't see anything," Kimberly Ruiz added, light brown eyes haunted. "B-But we still intend to take him to therapy for what he heard and to help him with the nightmares and separation anxiety…" She cut herself off at Tobias's wince and apologetically smiled. "Sorry. That's…you don't need to hear about that…"
"It's okay…I'm sorry you had to go through that…"
"We're alive," Austin firmly stated. "That's what counts. And the man who did this is dead now."
"He is dead, right?" Kimberly worriedly asked.
Tobias and McConnell assured her of this.
Eventually, Ryan poked out his head from behind his parents and stared at Tobias. When the man offered a small smile, the boy emerged completely. "They took the warrior picture."
Tobias suddenly remembered Ben's picture and tried to keep the disappointment from his face and voice. "Oh, okay. Who did?"
"The police took it away," Ryan said with a pout. "They said it was evidence." He had sounded out the word with minor difficulty and scrunched his nose.
Kimberly offered a breathy chuckle. "He wouldn't let go of that picture you gave him. When the police had to take it away, he put up such a fuss. Austin and I tried to explain why they had to keep it, but he keeps asking when he'll get it back."
"I can't be a warrior without it!" Ryan exclaimed as he darted closer and pressed against Tobias's bed. "I told them it makes me brave, but they won't give it back!"
Ryan's indignation was so wholesome that Tobias couldn't help but smile. "I'm sorry, but that's just something the police do. Once I'm in jail, they might give it back."
Ryan then looked confused. "But only bad guys go to jail. You gave me my warrior powers and made the bad guy go away. You can't go to jail."
The boy's parents initially attempted to explain, because Tobias was too choked up to try, yet they eventually changed the subject. When Ryan asked for another 'warrior' picture, Tobias was briefly at a loss for words. Although he wanted to promise that he'd procure another one from Ben, he wasn't even sure if he'll see his friend again.
When the Ruizes tried to convince their son that he could draw his own, a conversation that Tobias got the feeling had already happened, Ryan adamantly insisted that it wouldn't be the same.
Tobias froze when the child grabbed his hand. "Can you tell the police to give me back the warrior picture, please? I want it back."
As the magnitude of this boy and his family standing before him were alive and well weighed comfortably in his chest, Tobias eventually found it in him to say, "I'll let them know. Don't forget though that you were brave without it. You saved your parents, not that picture. You're already a warrior without it."
This seemed to placate the boy for the time being, and he spent the rest of the visit rambling to Tobias about various subjects, from dinosaurs to spaghetti. In the meantime, McConnell pulled the Ruizes aside and spoke to them in hushed whispers.
When it was time to go, the Ruizes repeated their thanks and wished him a speedy recovery.
"Bye, warrior man," Ryan called out as he waved behind him.
McConnell then explained that the Ruizes agreed to speak in his defense at the upcoming trial. It was a pleasant surprise that left Tobias feeling warm for days.
It took nearly two months for Tobias to heal enough to leave the hospital. Nurse Brenda offered him a warm farewell and a cheery good luck as Tobias exited the building in handcuffs. He was taken back to the institution, to his surprise, and was placed in solitary confinement.
The weeks that followed were lonely, and the monotony was only broken by visits from McConnell, who assured him that he was working on getting Tobias proper care. Although Tobias was appreciative, all he wanted was to see Ben.
"Unfortunately, that's not possible right now," McConnell explained. "No one's even sure if it's right to hold you here. In fact, the only reason you're not somewhere else is because they figure this is the best place to hold you for the time being. It's best that you don't immerse yourself here because they could move you at any time."
"I don't have to get back into the routine. I just want to visit Ben to see if he's okay and to let him know that I'm okay, too."
McConnell said that he'd see what he could do but advised that very few prisoners received visiting rights.
Besides McConnell, Tobias regularly saw staff members who gave him food and clothes and escorted him to the showers every other day. Some he recognized and others he didn't. The ones that recognized him weren't very friendly and either refused to talk to him or made rude jokes at his expense.
Tobias figured there was no point trying to explain that his alters were the aggressive ones; they had his information.
Tobias could barely deal with the information himself. For years he was convinced that he was still living with his father and being monitored by the archangel. The fact that they weren't technically real was a startling conclusion he had difficulty swallowing.
Spencer had explained to him what Dissociative Identity Disorder was and McConnell and Brenda were kind enough to lend him books on the subject, but Tobias had trouble associating this with his life. Even now, 'Charles' glared and swore at him, raising a hand to him when Tobias tried ignoring him. The blows were real—Tobias confirmed in the bathroom mirrors—and his general presence was as real and overbearing as ever.
His guards even had to deal with him. 'Charles' snarled and raged at them, accusing them of sins, and the guards were forced to restrain and sedate him. Nevertheless, feeling the aftereffects of the sedation only emphasized that 'Charles' was a personality in Tobias's body.
'Raphael' seemed less ethereal than before, but he was still around. He never spoke to Tobias or even to 'Charles,' yet was still happy to preach to the guards the word of God. He too was yelled at and sedated.
One day after his shower, Tobias witnessed 'Charles' taking over. He had just finished dressing and was looking at his cross-shaped burn on his forehead when 'Charles' appeared. Tobias watched his own expression become a familiar scowl and his own mouth growling justifications for why he burned his own son.
Tobias was actually glad when one of the guards barged in and sedated him.
The proof had left Tobias shaken. Of course, he believed Spencer, but seeing it for himself was horrifying. He refused to speak or eat for days and merely laid in bed.
It was a visit from McConnell that roused him.
"We have a psychiatrist coming in to treat you. His name is Dr. Trent Navarro. I've been told he's one of the best. He'll be the one to decide what's best for you, and you can talk to him about seeing your friend."
The thought of getting actual help and seeing Ben again motivated Tobias to get out of bed and start eating again. When he showered though, he avoided looking in the mirrors.
Dr. Navarro arrived a few days later with a friendly smile and a firm handshake. Under the watchful eye of an institution guard, the man explained his presence.
"This institution might not be able to fund me, but I can assure you that there is funding available. Mostly from the government, but the American Psychiatric Association is very interested in your case. DID is so rare and controversial, so we want to know as much as possible. You'll be receiving intensive psychotherapy from me, or another one of my associates if you're not comfortable talking to me."
"So, I'm a, uh, subject to study then…"
"…Yes and no. Let's put it this way, Mr. Hankel-"
"Tobias, please."
"Let's put it this way, Tobias: by helping you, I'm also gaining valuable insight on your disorder that will help in understanding and treating others like you. Our time together, however, will be personal to you and your condition. Your well-being takes priority over any research. If I'm not helping your progress, then we'll find you someone better suited to your needs."
Tobias wasn't sure how comfortable he was with this but decided to at least give the man a chance. Their sessions initially consisted of talking. Dr. Navarro allowed him to talk about whatever he wanted and kept up the conversation as if they were two acquaintances meeting up.
It took a few sessions for Tobias to begin opening up about his childhood. Dr. Navarro listened intently with concern, not pity, and gently prompted him now and then.
It was sometime after that the doctor prescribed medication for anxiety, depression, PTSD, and insomnia. 'Charles' had sneered at the little pills and tried to prevent him from taking them, yet Tobias was able to with the help of the guards.
Tobias regularly met Dr. Navarro three times a week for at least an hour. He eventually determined that despite the man's eagerness and interest in his condition, he always put Tobias first and treated him as a person.
However, it wasn't until Dr. Navarro encountered his alters did Tobias begin to trust him. The doctor was unphased by 'Charles's' angry outbursts and attempted to converse with him. When 'Raphael' appeared, Dr. Navarro listened to the archangel's preaching and engaged in conversation.
Neither alter were eager to talk to him, but 'Raphael' eventually grew used to him and accepted him as his audience, despite deciding that the doctor was consumed by a demon. Dr. Navarro took the accusations and insults in stride and didn't treat Tobias any differently after each encounter.
"They might be sharing your body, but they might as well be two different people. You have your own identity, Tobias, and my job is to help you keep it."
Soon after, Tobias gave Dr. Navarro permission to discuss their sessions to McConnell, who kept these on record to help with his upcoming trial.
With Dr. Navarro's permission, Tobias was able to receive books, a notebook and dull pencil, crosswords, and puzzles to keep him entertained. They worked to keep his alters under control, modify any negative thoughts and behavior, and understand his experiences. They talked through his anxiety, fought against his self-destructive thoughts, unraveled his nightmares, and discussed his guilt.
Slowly but surely, Tobias began finding it easier to maintain control and ignore his alters. 'Charles' and 'Raphael' fought to be heard, but soon their presence decreased to whispers in the back of his head.
It was startling the first time Tobias went through an entire day without having either take over. They were still there speaking to him, but they never spoke through him. Tobias didn't have to document any blackouts or intervene when 'Charles' lost control.
Dr. Navarro praised him for his progress.
After nearly three months of treatment, Dr. Navarro finally allowed him to see Ben.
Accompanied by two guards, McConnell, and the doctor, Tobias was handcuffed to a table in a room. When another guard brought in Ben, the man immediately spotted him.
The dull look in his eyes vanished in an instant as Ben manically grinned and surged forward. Though his hands were handcuffed too, and the guard was leading him in by the arm, neither stopped Ben from tugging free and throwing his bound arms over Tobias in a tight hug.
A tearful reunion followed where Ben rapidly babbled about missing him and being worried about him. Tobias couldn't get a word in, doubting he could through his tears, and pressed against him since he couldn't hug back.
Ben violently protested when the guards ripped him away and likely would've started swinging, kicking, and biting had it not been for McConnell's and Dr. Navarro's intervention. The doctor convinced the guards not to sedate Ben, whom he managed to calm down.
Tobias wasn't surprised when Ben happily sat across from him and began rambling about things that have happened while he was gone. He giggled as he recounted the fights that have occurred, especially when one of them involved Earl.
"He got his ass whooped, Tobias, it was awesome! The shitbag deserved it for sending you to the hospital!"
He grew somber as he described being alone. "Everyone sucks so hard here, Tobias. No one's as cool as you and most people here just piss me off. I got put into solitary for beating this one guy with my lunch tray. He wasn't even brained that bad."
Tobias briefly mentioned his time with Foyet. He kept out the worst details yet was still honest. When it seemed like Ben was shutting down, Tobias talked about how his picture saved Ryan Ruiz's life. Ben perked up and went into a long-winded babble about the ideas he had for artwork and mentioned having a lot of pictures for him.
"I can't believe I have a fan," Ben gushed. "If the popo doesn't let the little rascal have my picture back, then I'll sue! There's gotta be a law on proper ownership, right?! I'll sue 'em for everything they got!"
Ben's cheer and hyperactivity were soothing and familiar, and Tobias was smiling for the first time since being returned to the institution.
At some point, Ben grinned over at Dr. Navarro who was taking notes. "This new doctor seems okay. I miss Dr. Reid, though. He's the best doctor ever."
Tobias missed Spencer a lot. However, he had come to reluctantly accept that he'll likely never see the profiler again. "Yeah, he's the best."
Strauss did not hold back on chewing him out.
Reid and his team spent nearly the entire flight back to Quantico discussing and preparing themselves for the inevitable scolding that awaited them. Despite his team's reassurances, Reid prepared for the possibility of losing his job.
He and the team were expected to arrive the moment they landed. Morgan and Hotch began debating who would go first, but Strauss ended up summoning him. He sat alone across the room from Strauss and her fellow superiors, a large tape recorder on the table between them.
Strauss's gaze was as severe as her tone as she demanded an exclamation. Reid remained calm as he explained how his correspondence with Tobias began with his need for closure.
"Closure?" Strauss repeated incredulously. "And you didn't think to discuss it with the therapist assigned to you?"
After Reid had been rescued from Tobias's alters, he had to undergo mandatory therapy sessions to determine if he was psychologically fit for duty. Reid knew the process and went through the motions with his therapist. At the time, he hadn't felt the sessions were necessary and only wanted to forget the whole thing even happened. Going back to work ensured that his mind was occupied, and he had hoped that his body would eventually forget about Dilaudid.
Pursing his lips, Reid replied, "I hadn't realized I needed closure until I was back in Atlanta to interview another convicted killer. I'll admit that the decision to speak with Mr. Hankel had been a spur of the moment-"
"Did you inform your unit chief of this 'spur of the moment' decision?"
They both knew that he hadn't, and Reid saw where Strauss was going with this. Nevertheless, he replied, "No, I hadn't."
"Now can you explain to us what compelled you to decide to go behind your superior's back?"
Reid clenched his teeth and straightened his spine in preparation for a long line of probing questions. It took well over three hours for him to explain himself and would have finished sooner if Strauss hadn't consistently interrupted.
Her disapproval and anger were strong and filled the entire room with tension that only grew with each of Strauss's sharp, accusing questions. Even the other board members, who clearly disapproved of his actions, seemed almost uncomfortable as time dragged on.
Even with Strauss's interruptions, Reid recounted the past year flawlessly. Most of his and Tobias's letters had been recovered from Foyet's corpse and many were read aloud, to Reid's irritation. Nevertheless, he recognized that they also helped his case. Strauss and the board were initially convinced that Reid had revealed sensitive information which had led to the Boston Reaper's involvement. However, the letters proved otherwise.
Though there was evidence that there weren't any ulterior motives in Reid and Tobias's friendship, Strauss and the others reminded him that interacting with a former serial killer was unauthorized.
Reid took the scolding with terse nods and without complaint. In fact, the only time he argued was in Tobias's defense.
"George Foyet had been conducting research on me, Agent Hotchner, and the rest of the team since he escaped us in Boston. He happened to come across records of my previous association with Mr. Hankel and figured that he could use it to his advantage."
"Which he did," Strauss stated.
"Even if Mr. Hankel and I weren't acquainted," Reid pointed out, "Foyet would have still reached out to him."
"And yet it's because of your acquaintance with that man that the Boston Reaper was able to endanger you and the rest of your team."
"We were all in danger the moment we took on the Reaper's case."
Reid made sure that everything he said was valid, truthful, and objective, knowing that any missteps would be counted against him.
When he was finally dismissed, JJ and Garcia took him out for a cup of coffee and a dessert.
The rest of the team were questioned as well, but none lasted as long as his. Hotch's and Morgan's lasted for nearly two hours, and both were seething when they were dismissed. Strauss and the rest of the board instructed that they go home and that they'll meet up again in the morning for their verdict.
The team lingered around the building to discuss the questioning before splitting off. Despite Morgan's and Garcia's offers to talk, Reid went home, barely getting any sleep.
To everyone's surprise, Strauss and the board members had the team together to announce their decision: Morgan was to be removed as unit chief; Hotch was to take a month off without pay; and Reid was to do the same, but would also be put on probation for at least 90 days when he returned.
"If it were up to me, you would've at least been transferred," Strauss told Reid with an unhappy frown. "Be lucky you weren't demoted for your foolish decisions."
Reid was overwhelmingly relieved that the consequences weren't more severe and was already planning to make use of his time while he was gone. Strauss and the others made it clear that if he were to contact Tobias again, then he will be demoted or transferred if not fired.
The exception, however, pertained to Tobias's trial. Nevertheless, Reid was explicitly instructed to only speak to Tobias's lawyer. He couldn't contact anyone from the institution, no letters for Tobias, even if they were delivered by someone else, no phone calls, and no receiving letters or phone calls from Tobias or the institution.
Having expected this, Reid spent his month conducting research and making phone calls. His first order of business was to get in touch with the American Psychiatric Association. Though it took some time, Reid wasted no time in explaining Tobias's condition once he was able to get ahold of someone.
He received a response from the board and its president by the end of the week. They were greatly interested in Tobias's case and assured that they would talk to the institution about providing proper treatment on their dime.
When Reid wasn't trying to provide for Tobias, he was resting at home and spending more time with JJ. They hung out during her medical leave, and Reid grew closer to his godson. They spent time with the rest of the team after hours, who kept reaffirming that the office wasn't the same without them and Hotch.
Now that Hayley and Jack were safe, they were able to leave Witness Protection and resume their lives. They settled in a new apartment, finally able to breathe and sleep well for the first time in months.
Hotch spent his month off making it up to them. He spent nearly every day with Jack and most evenings with Hayley. Reid was made to understand that they did a lot of talking, and Hotch took her and Jack out often for meals.
When Reid met up with Hotch during their time off, he noticed his friend looking more at ease than he's seen him in a while. Any wounds Hotchner sustained were long healed, and he looked as if he had been getting sleep.
They took the chance to talk about what had happened. Hotch knew that getting Tobias involved was unacceptable and made no excuses. Strauss had chewed him out for that and heavily pushed for his termination.
"The only reason they hadn't was because Tobias had gone willingly and because Rodriguez had spoken up on my behalf."
Reid had briefly made his acquaintance with the Assistant Chief during his hospital stay. She had visited to introduce herself and to check on him and JJ. Reid was unsurprised yet no less devastated to hear about Sullivan's death.
The Atlanta PD were planning on holding a small, private funeral for him with just his unit and close friends and family.
"He was a good man," Reid had somberly said. "He died trying to stop Foyet."
Rodriguez had offered a wry smile. "Yeah, that sounds like him. He was the best chief we could've asked for."
From what Reid understood, the team only really worked with Rodriguez towards the end for a short time. It was by sheer chance that she found JJ and saved her life, which Reid thanked her for.
When he asked Hotchner what she had said, he was told that she had willingly let him go after Foyet.
"According to the board, she said that she had an idea that I was going to do something, but didn't bother trying to stop me."
"So, she took part of the blame?"
"Basically. She also said that she had gotten ahold of the officer who was supposed to be babysitting me, figured out the direction I was going, and tried getting in touch with the officer guarding the shack. She only sent out reinforcements when she never received a response."
"She's got good instincts."
"Yes, and that's exactly why I recommended that she apply to Sullivan's position. I can only hope she won't be hindered for letting me take Tobias by myself."
The two talked about Tobias's upcoming case, despite that both were essentially kept in the dark. Hotchner reminded him that their and the team's actions will be brought up and scrutinized to build the case against him.
"It'll be up to us to show the jury that our actions had nothing to do with Tobias's. All the lives lost were because of his alters and the Boston Reaper. Keep that in mind when they put you on the stand."
Reid was well aware of this. He prepared various statements and counter arguments that would need to be addressed. When he took the time to visit his mother, he caught her up on everything and asked for her advice.
"If he's as good as you say he is, a jury will be able to see it, too."
Reid could only hope she was right.
It was a relief to be back to work. Even with Rossi acting as the temporary unit chief, Strauss still kept an eye on them. Much like with the Stanley Howard case, she accompanied the team now and then, keeping a particular eye on Reid and Hotchner.
Things were tense and cases were carried out meticulously, almost maliciously so, until Strauss finally left them alone with stern looks and lingering criticisms.
A date was set for the trial against Tobias, and Reid immersed himself in his work to keep himself from worrying. The BAU handled multiple cases, and things seemed basically back to normal. Hotch and JJ were less likely to spend late nights in the office and spent more time with their families.
Otherwise, the team worked better than ever.
The BAU was disturbed to later discover that Foyet had been in touch with Karl Arnold, the family annihilator. When being questioned, the man tried to play coy. However, with a bit of manipulation that involved tricking Arnold into believing that Foyet was alive and ahead of the BAU, he eventually revealed their correspondence.
To their immense relief, Foyet had only left a message for Hotchner and spoke to Arnold about his 'game' with the BAU, giving the man newspaper clippings of the agent. Hotch had the immense pleasure of telling Arnold that his 'admirer' was dead.
The team left the man to rot and stew in his anger.
Days before the trial, Reid and the team packed to head to Atlanta, accompanied by Will and Henry. Strauss insisted that they each return the moment their roles were completed.
"I'd rather we wipe our hands of this mess sooner rather than later."
Reid agreed for different reasons entirely.
One way or another, we're going to move forward.
Being on trial was terrifying. Tobias shook when he was sworn in and put on the stand, handcuffs tightly pinching his wrists. Other than a quick glance at Spencer, receiving an encouraging nod, he kept his eyes down as he was questioned. McConnell spoke to him first, inquiring about his association with Foyet. Tobias was truthful as he recounted everything, from Foyet's first visit to when he plunged the knife in his chest.
McConnell asked him questions that they had discussed prior, and the familiarity caused the tightening of his chest to minimally ease. Nevertheless, his panic returned when they spoke of his disorder.
Tobias stuttered over the details of his childhood. He held back tears when his lawyer presented pictures of his scars and x-rays of the old injuries that his father inflicted on him over the years, reddening when the jury gasped at the cross-shaped burn on his forehead.
His school records and reports of suspected abuse were noted, and even his former sponsor came to his defense, having transcribed the stories Tobias had shared during his NA meetings.
Putting his past on display was humiliating and painful, and if it wasn't for Dr. Navarro's and Spencer's unwavering support, Tobias suspected that he would've passed out.
He also suspected that 'Raphael' and 'Charles' would've taken over, hearing the both of them whisper and curse and press in the back of his mind. It was through sheer will alone that kept them at bay.
Whereas McConnell painted a sympathetic picture, the other lawyer, a severe-looking man named Burns, was ruthless. He argued that Tobias's disorder was nonexistent and that his actions were his own. Tobias had expected sneers and disgust and accusations of being weak, but to have his trauma spat at and trampled upon was awful.
He had been initially speechless when the lawyer accused him of lying. He grew anxious with each prying question and attempt at disproving his disorder. He tried tricking Tobias and attempted to exploit what little doubt he had.
Tobias was flustered yet truthful with each question and did his best not to let the accusations get to him, trusting in God's watchful eyes and his own lawyer coming to his defense.
When Burns demanded that 'Charles' and 'Raphael' show themselves, Tobias grew sick. There was a surge of outrage throughout the room, but he heard none of it.
All he heard was 'Charles's' growling voice insisting that he was weak and 'Raphael's' calm voice preaching various proverbs. They were both demanding to be heard, and Tobias could feel his control slipping away.
Dr. Navarro had told him not to fight his alters, to let them speak when they pushed hard enough. Tobias had been incredulous, but the psychiatrist explained that fighting them would likely damper his progress and cause a strain on his psyche.
"If it's easy to ignore them, do so. If they're really pushing to be heard though, let them and allow yourself to regain control naturally. With a bit of time, you'll find it easier to carry on and they'll find it harder to seize control."
The thought of giving either alter control in the middle of a trial, however, sounded like a disaster.
It was luck that had the judge calling for order and a five-minute recess. With help from Dr. Navarro, Tobias was able to calm down, and 'Charles's' and 'Raphael's' voices quieted. Meanwhile, McConnell raved about Burns' ignorance and 'dirty' tactics before assuring his client that it wasn't over.
The trial dragged on for days.
Despite his anxiety, Tobias never lost control of himself. He trusted McConnell to properly represent him and Dr. Navarro to keep him steady.
A few of the institution's employees testified. Although they expressed annoyance over Tobias's alters, they also admitted that Tobias himself wasn't too bad and that he actually kept his fellow inmate, Benjamin, calmer and under control.
Assistant Chief Rodriguez recounted how docile Tobias was when the Reaper's hiding place was found. She also produced the late Chief Sullivan's notes on him, describing him as a "possible ally to sabotage the Boston Reaper."
Spencer and his friends were eventually put on the stand, too. They each had their own explanation for his disorder, how they've interacted with him, and something to say in his defense. Tobias was surprised by their support, especially when Agent Morgan went up and spoke the truth without bias.
Burns did his best to counter each of their defenses, however, by trying to exploit Morgan's hatred and Ms. Jareau's abduction and torture.
The worst was when Spencer went up.
Whereas McConnell focused on how their unlikely friendship led to their respective healing, Burns emphasized on how they met to begin with. Tobias was sickened when Burns forced Spencer to describe his ordeal and couldn't watch when he produced some clips of 'Charles' torturing the young man.
As McConnell roared his objections and the jury grew upset, Tobias tried to regain his breathing. He barely heard Dr. Navarro trying to talk him through his hysteria and focused on Spencer. Though the young man was pale and holding back anger, he wasn't adding to the scene and was actually looking at him.
Since Tobias feared that opening his mouth meant he'd cry or vomit and never stop—or worse, 'Charles' or 'Raphael' would appear and never leave—he hoped the look he was giving him expressed just how sorry he was. He wanted to take it all back, go back in time and be stronger so that none of Spencer's trauma would never happen.
Somehow, Spencer seemed to understand. He gave him a slight nod and unclenched his fists. When the judge managed to regain order, the profiler continued with the questioning without hesitation and managed to avoid each of Burns' verbal traps.
After that day, Tobias was sure that it was all over and that the jury would decide that he truly was a danger to society and ought to be killed. When he was brought back to the institution, he asked McConnell and Dr. Navarro that if he wrote some letters that they'd keep them safe for him and hand them out when the time came.
That led to a lecture from McConnell who adamantly insisted that he not give up and an extra hour-long session from Dr. Navarro who prompted him to talk about his self-image and worth.
Nevertheless, they sealed his letters to Spencer and Benjamin and promised to keep them safe.
On the final day of the trial, Tobias remained numb to his surroundings. He barely heard Dr. Navarro tell the jury about his progress and bring up statistics of the benefits of psychotherapy. He neutrally answered questions about his treatment and was unaffected when Burns tried to twist his words.
It was only when new witnesses were called to the stand did Tobias begin to feel something.
He was surprised when the kind nurse from the hospital, Brenda, sat at the podium, wearing not scrubs like how he was used to but a lovely white blouse, black pencil skirt, and black heels. He ignored 'Charles' calling her a whore and 'Raphael' whispering the tale of Jezebel when she beamed at him and waved.
She was perfectly at ease as she described having Tobias as a patient, as if she were having coffee with friends rather than standing before a judge and jury. Tobias flushed when she described him as a "kind, gentle man" with "such a beautiful heart."
When Burns attempted to get her to recount any violent encounters with Tobias's alters, she truthfully stated that she never once felt like she was in danger around him, even during the few times she encountered 'Charles' and 'Raphael.'
The surprises continued when the Ruizes went up next. Tobias was genuinely surprised that they kept their word, but wouldn't have blamed them if they hadn't.
Austin and Kimberly each recounted their experience with the Boston Reaper. The man attempted to remain stoic, yet faltered when he recalled the fear he felt for his wife and son. Tobias's heart clenched when Kimberly burst into tears when she described Foyet pointing a gun at them.
Burns' turn to question them only made Kimberly cry harder, and he was swiftly berated for badgering the witness.
Tobias was fearful when Ryan went up and asked McConnell if it was necessary. The lawyer said that it was, but they would've made do if the family hadn't consented.
Both lawyers were gentle with the boy, even Burns. Ryan was initially shy to have so much attention, yet eventually grew more talkative and animated as he grew more comfortable.
When McConnell asked him to point out the person who helped him save his parents, Ryan unflinchingly pointed at Tobias. Then he grinned and shouted an exuberant greeting to 'the warrior man,' who smiled and shyly waved back.
McConnell then had a final surprise up his sleeve: he produced Ben's picture, kept safe in a plastic slip. Tobias's and Ryan's eyes went wide as McConnell showed it to the boy and asked him what it was. Ryan immediately, and quite excitedly, said that it was 'the warrior picture that gave me my warrior powers, can I have it back, please?' The lawyer promised that he would if Ryan could tell him more about where he got it from.
The boy hurriedly replied that 'the warrior man,' gesturing wildly to Tobias, 'gave it to him because it helped him be brave and strong and save mommy and daddy from the bad man and that he'd really like it back now.'
Ryan was pleased as punch when McConnell gave it back, assuring the judge that it had been cleared with the police department. The boy then unexpectedly hopped off the stand to give McConnell a quick hug before darting over to hug Tobias as well.
The courtroom was in a flurry again, and it took several long minutes for everyone to settle down. Since Tobias had his bound hands raised when Ryan embraced him, no one could accuse him of trying to hurt the boy, no matter what Burns tried to say.
When all the witnesses were questioned and McConnell and Burns made their final statements, the judge dismissed them all, stating that they'd reconvene in the morning when the jury reached their decision.
Tobias couldn't sleep that night, and his alters were louder than usual. He suspected that both had taken over at some point during their respective monologues, but figured it must not have been so bad that the guards had to sedate him. What little sleep he had gotten was restless and filled with nightmares of a dark figure standing over him or Ben or Spencer or Ryan or Brenda with a knife and being helpless to stop the ensuing slaughter.
The tension in the courtroom was palpable. From his spot, Tobias could see Spencer's leg rapidly bouncing in place and Ms. Jareau tightly clutching his hand. When they locked gazes, the young man tried to smile in reassurance, but his hazel eyes swirled with dozens of thoughts.
The minutes they had to wait for the courtroom to settle crawled like poured molasses in a batter before the judge asked the jury if they'd reached their verdict.
"On counts of murder in the first degree, we find the defendant, Tobias Hankel, not guilty."
There was a collective breath of relief from Tobias, McConnell, Dr. Navarro, and the BAU team. Though Tobias's shoulder slumped from the release of tension, he knew that it was too early to be happy.
"On counts of capital offense against innocent civilians, including federal agents," That's the one that McConnell said would get me the death penalty, "we find the defendant not guilty."
Relief rushed into him like receiving God for the first time. Tobias vaguely heard him being found guilty for kidnapping and acting as an accomplice to murder, but it didn't matter nearly as much. He knew that he wasn't completely innocent and wasn't surprised that he was sentenced to life at the institution and was to receive mandatory, intensive therapy.
As the judge explained the conditions that he would have to follow in order to remain off death row, Tobias took in several deep breaths and allowed himself to relax for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. When the court was dismissed, Tobias dazedly shook McConnell's hand and accepted Dr. Navarro's hearty claps on the back, feeling overwhelmed yet giddy by their elated grins.
In fact, they weren't the only ones happy for him. The Ruizes, Nurse Brenda, and his former sponsor were all smiles, Brenda and Ryan enthusiastically waving at him. Even Spencer's friends were clasping each other's shoulders and exchanging happy, relieved grins. Spencer was hugging Ms. Jareau and her boyfriend and received a warm smile and friendly hand on his neck from Agent Morgan.
When the two locked gazes for the second time that day, their smiles were wider and more genuine. Tobias mouthed his thanks as he was led away.
Thank you, God. Thank you for freeing me and giving me another chance to make up for my sins.
I promise that I'll try harder and be better. I won't take these blessings you have so generously given me for granted.
Amen.
Yes, I let Tobias and Hayley live. Never thought I'd be doing a fix-it type of fic in my life. No takesies-backsies~
Okay, I SWEAR the next chapter is the epilogue. Since I'm like 90% done with it, I'd like to post it sooner rather than later.
Happy New Year, everyone~!
