Daylight
A/N: Welcome to the final chapter of 'Daylight'. Thank you for reading this far. Thank you for your lovely reviews.
This final chapter aims to show snapshots of the Uchiha family life - it is heavily based upon the Boruto anime and official Sasuke novels. If you are unfamiliar with them, then I still hope this flows well. May you start reading, and allow the words to drift you away... enjoy!
The sky transcended through days and nights as easily as the world transitioned through seasons, leaving no soul behind and ensuring every being was captured within its glow. Feet pitter-pattered across hallways like the rain settling on leaves and the ground, nourishing everything it touched. And just like the rain, his wife and daughter's presence would slide through every slightest crack, nourishing the heart of a man whose harshest winters was well behind him as he enjoined in the festivities that spring brought. No matter the season, Spring was everywhere. Spring was the blooming of the flowers his wife would buy him when he came home from a mission. Spring was the sun breaking out as his daughter called him, "Papa!" with a wide grin. Spring was the chattering of birds as a family of three shared stories through dinner. Spring was the previous day's rain that faded into memory as moments were forever ingrained into hearts as minds as pink and two blacks laughed, smiled and huffed in amusement. Spring was carried by both cherry-pink and scarlet, wherever they wafted, serenity would follow.
But a part of that spring was almost lost, fading away, closing its eyes to summer and welcoming the dreary windows to autumn when his scarlet spring returned from a mission unconscious. Nights were spent holding his daughter's hands as he looked upon his wife tiring herself out from doing whatever she could to ensure both Sarada and Boruto did not have long-lasting effects from their battle. He stays with them, and pulls over a hospital blanket on his wife when she eventually tires herself out. When sleep has fully overcome her, he takes her home and places her into their bed. He undresses her and dresses her again in her nightgown, he brushes her hair and puts aside her headband. He lathers her nightly routine of her cream onto her hands and he ensures she has food to wake up to. With each passing second, dawn bleeds into the sky, signalling the birth of a new day, and just for a few hours, he leaves again. Intent on gathering what information he can on the 'Kara' group that has surfaced, his intel gathering resumes, before he takes himself back to Konoha where he is needed most for the village - and for his family.
It is midday when he visits her in her spacious office as he comes bearing lunch with her, complete with her favourite anmitsu.
"How is she?" he asks her as she scribbles down notes and works her way through her stacks of papers seated on her desk. Her brows are furrowed in concentration and she does not look up as she answers, "I've stabilised her, and she's awake. But there is a possibility her left eye could suffer from long-lasting effects." He notices how she bites down on her lower lip as her pen works erratically along the paper. With every scratch of pen against parchment, Sasuke loses his thoughts back to the time when Sarada suffered from optical issues because of him, for his carelessness and abrupt actions. Sasuke's thoughts spirals and they drown out Sakura's next words of, "But nothing serious showed up on her physical examinations, so that's one less thing to be worried about."
He is convinced that Sarada's current suffering is due to the mistakes that he had made so long ago, and so it is up to him to make that right again. His attention is needed at the Hokage's Office, but he has a few words to depart with before he takes his leave.
"And you? How are you, Sakura?" he asks. At this the sound of pen against paper stops, and a sigh escapes her lips.
"It's... It's been so tough, Sasuke-kun," her voice wavers and her lips tremble as she speaks his name. "My little baby... Sara-chan. To think that if her- if Mitsuki wasn't there, then- I don't know what I would have done." Her head escapes into the gap made between her arms as she sheds her fears. He strokes her hair, hoping she would find some sort of comfort in it. A few moments pass before she lifts her head up and wipes her tears away. "But I need to stay strong. And thanks to you, I've managed to do that." She manages a weak smile that she shares as she looks up at him.
"Ah, we can be strong for each other, Sakura," he says, his voice delicate as the fingers in her hair.
It is then she notices, the pain he has been hiding. She hears it in his voice, sees it in his face. She can always see through his tough exterior and touch his heart until he melts into her. She reaches up for his arm and speaks to him. "I'm sorry, I've been so focused on Sarada, I haven't even asked about you," she whispers, as if, if she allows her words to be louder then more worries will only consume the two parents. Her breath hitches when she realises something. Her grip tightens around his arm and her eyes widen as they plead in desperation.
"Please don't blame yourself, Sasuke-kun..." her voice strains, hoping that he understands.
He looks away and says, "Take care of yourself. I won't be home tonight," and he leaves.
As promised, he makes himself available for his daughter when she needs him. And it is the next day that she approaches, and the day after that. He recognises her struggle as she continuously pushes herself to be stronger than she is, and as much as he understands that struggle, in the end, he is still a father. He does not want her to hurt. Even when she urges him to challenge her, he holds back, afraid she will push herself too far - or that he will be responsible for another ailment she faces. Each time she collapses, it pains him, he fears he will lose her in some form and the thought almost numbs him. Almost. But each time she comes back up, more determined than the last, he remembers one of the reasons why he's helping her: if she can strengthen herself, then she will have more in her arsenal to get back up fighting time and time again, and less time spent in the hospital, recovering from fractured bones and blurred vision. Or at least that's what he hopes.
Sasuke is the one that reminds Sarada that she needs to take breaks, and as they sit together on a rock, a topic which he hoped could be avoided with his daughter was brought up: his mangekyo sharingan. The events that had led up to him awakening the cursed fate of his crimson eyes was one that he would not want to befall upon his beloved daughter - the traumatic pathways of his life and the bloodshed he had to endure, even just relaying the events to her, that would be too much for either of them to bare. He did not think she was ready to bare the burden of knowing his tainted past and his crimes, and he knew that he was not ready to share that part of him with her yet. She was too pure, too innocent: he could not - would not - want to take that from her. So he refrains from giving her an answer, but his lack of an answer works against him, as it is when Sakura appears that Sarada brings up the subject of attaining eyes like her Papa's.
Misunderstandings and disagreements spark between the two females, and the offspring escapes her mother's clutches, wanting space and time as she cannot fathom why her Mama would not understand nor be supportive of the progress she is making. The mother is left in disarray, and so for once it is up to him to pick up the pieces. Console her. Sasuke brings up his defences to the point where he is convinced that even Sakura wouldn't be able to see through, he puts his emotions at bay and reiterates why he is helping their child so soon after she has barely recovered.
As Sakura falls to her knees behind him, she pours out her worries and they spill out of her like the wine she drinks at night. She harbours the same fears that he does - that something more sinister could happen to Sarada. "Isn't that all the more reason for us to teach her all the ways she can protect herself?" he says, masking the fact that he has convinced himself with the same line over and over. But Sakura already understands that much - her worries are rooted further deeper. She is afraid of the mangekyo sharingan manifesting in their daughter - that their daughter, like him, would have to suffer an insurmountable amount of pain, and have to deal with the parting of a loved one.
"I can understand your anxiety," he tells her, informing her that he too shares the same concerns. For he has lived the horrors, and knows how the past can creep up to you in flashes of nightmares and creep up on you like a shadow infiltrating your thoughts.
But she brushes him off with, "No, you're not like me. You're strong, Sasuke. So you wouldn't understand this feeling."
"I'm-?" He can't comprehend why she would think that. Too many times has he buried his face in her lap, awaiting her comfort, if anything, she is the one who is strong in all senses of the word.
"There's no doubt, Sarada inherited your strength," she continues. "But she's also my daughter, and I'm the one who used to be such a crybaby. Who knows if she'll be able to endure things the way you can?" He learns of her insecurities that still fester inside of her, consuming her, clouding her vision of their own daughter. Surely she can see that it is what Sarada has inherited from her mother that makes Sasuke feel at ease, he thinks. "Things like intense training and tragedy."
He turns to her then, and speaks his mind. "I don't think you're weak," his words are simple but honest. She has had to endure so much with him - for him. There is no doubt in his mind of her immense strength mentally and emotionally. It seems that she has forgotten her strength, but he will not let her forget. As they trudge home together, he tells her, "If she's anything like you, then you have nothing to worry about." But he is unsure if his words get through to her. Instead she retaliates by further drowning in herself and grumbles incoherent slurs at him, and only apologises when they reach their home.
"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun. I don't know what I'm saying," she says with a forlorn expression.
"It's fine. I'm going to find Sarada now. Will you be okay?" he asks her. He only leaves when she agrees to take a nap to rest her mind, even for a little.
It is the next day that Sakura interrupts their training session again, but only to overtake the training, and insist she test Sarada's resolve by combat. Sasuke is aware that Sakura was out late last night with friends, and whatever they said must have helped where his words faltered. He knows the value of having friends talk you through issues, more than anyone else, and he is proud of his wife for overcoming her fears and taking the reigns of their daughter's training. More than himself, his wife can see through things in ways that his mismatched eyes can't, and as a healer, she can mend things as swiftly as her fists can crush them.
He watches his wife take on her teacher role, and he marvels at the mother she has become. She is direct with her words and even more to the point with the ferocity of her limbs. She uncovers the faults of their daughter's skills and outlines what is needed to ensure she can move forward. She is critical in her examination of her student and leaves nothing out as she unfolds her analysis. He watches as Sakura holds nothing back with each thrust of her arms and legs, their daughter her target. He holds himself back from interfering, afraid his child will get hurt, but it is only when Sarada falls back that he interjects.
"Okay, that is enough," he calls as he approaches his family. But his child is distraught, unable to accept that that is the extent of her abilities. He comforts her with praises and approval. "You did well. There's no need to rush," he tells her. "Give it time and increase the things you're able to do." His wife is in agreement with him, but their daughter is unyielding and is insistent that she can do more; she takes his words to heart and demonstrates her capability. Sarada reflects her training with her father as she challenges her mother: she copies her mother's movements and passes chakra over it, gaining momentum and eventually throwing a punch that is equal in strength to her mother's.
Sasuke is there to catch his daughter when she falls. He is so utterly proud of her as he looks down upon his child and balances her with his arm. He does not conceal the smiles that fester upon his face and settle there, making a home as he takes in his daughter who is the perfect blend of Sakura and himself. He knew he was not wrong when he thought that inheriting anything of Sakura was a blessing, a light, in contrast to his own cursed lineage. He observes fondly as Sakura takes her moment to share her parental feelings of pride with their daughter, and the smile that was on his face only widens, as it always does when he is with his family. He loves them. With all his heart, he loves them.
*...Daylight...*
It is later at night when they check in on Sarada in her bedroom doorway that Sasuke asks Sakura if her words about training so rigorously with Tsunade were true.
"Ha! You think I could make such a thing up? I transformed from a useless liability to the team to someone who Konoha depends upon! That doesn't just happen overnight, you know," Sakura huffed as she crossed her arms.
Sasuke frowns as he tells her, "You're doing it again. You're putting yourself down."
Sakura shakes her head as she smiles at him in pity, whether the look is aimed at him or herself, he cannot say. "I'm just being honest," she disputes. "Besides, you're the one that told me to spend my days training instead of flirting... Am I wrong?" She pushes her tongue to her cheek and raises her brow as she challenges him to question her.
"Maybe I did say that," he admits. "But you were never useless. Not to me, anyway. I was grateful there was someone on the team who had similar smarts." They chuckle in unison at the memory of their genin days. "But now that you no longer need to train, you can..." He averts his gaze and a tint of red spreads across his cheeks as he finds himself unable to finish his sentence.
"I can...?" He feels Sakura's green orbs study him until realisation dawns on her face and she lets out a quiet gasp. A second later he feels her finger poke his chest as she asks him, incredulously, "Are you giving me permission to flirt with you? You are, aren't you?" Sakura giggles as the flush upon Sasuke's face deepens. She edges closer until there are only a few millimetres between them. The finger on his chest becomes a hand and he spies the blush that grows on her face in his peripheral vision in the dim glow of the moonlight that slips in through Sarada's curtains. "Well..." she purrs. "For starters, I really like how you've been spending time with Sarada. She's really grateful, you know. Also, I haven't seen you smile outside like that in a long time. Your face is a work of art. Your lips really are irresist- Hey! Where are you going?!"
"Not here," he grumbles as he shoulders past her, heading to their bedroom. When he does not hear her follow he stops and turns his head slightly. Sakura's face brightens and she follows his lead as he takes her hand and listens to her charms, giving her the smile she loves so much.
*...Daylight...*
The world changes around them in tandem with Sarada's growth, but some things remain a constant, like their love for each other, like their loyalty to each other. Every day was brighter, every cool night felt like a warm morning. Things that seemed black and white before, like bonds and ties in an irreplaceable past, were now golden. The gleam in his child's eye when she would tease him and unravel his secrets with her mother was golden. He remembers fondly how she had deceived him into thinking that he had some of her Mama's lipstick on his lips, only to be told, "I'm kidding. Mama doesn't wear lipstick", and then, "So, Papa, you really care about Mama, huh?" He felt awkward speaking about his feelings about Sakura to anyone, but more so to his daughter, who was the result of their love for each other, and so he had told her, "We'll talk about that next time," hoping 'next time' wouldn't come.
As Sasuke passed through the jungle of trees, he only saw daylight. Daylight was the memory of why he had believed that a stain of Sakura had been left on his lips:
Sasuke knocked on the door that stated 'Medical Director: Dr. Sakura Uchiha', before allowing himself to enter.
"Oh, Sasuke-kun!" the world-renowned doctor greeted. "It's not like you to stop by here so suddenly. Is something wrong?"
"No. I just thought we could share lunch since you won't be home until late," Sasuke said, placing down the home-made food on her desk.
His expressionless mask almost broke as he looked at his wife whose eyes crinkled in joy. "Thank you, darling. That's so thoughtful of you," she said softly. They ate in quiet as he smirked whilst she hummed in delight at her side dish: pickled plum. Soon after, he listened to her tell him of her morning at the hospital, and a surge of pride filled him as he listened to how once again her hands healed the lives of many, from new-borns to the elderly; from seasoned shinobi to inexperienced genin. When she was done she looked at him and asked, "How's Team 7?"
The question caught him off-guard at first, until he realised she meant the current Team 7. "Hn. They've improved. Boruto has gotten over his slump about the scientific-ninja tools, since they became my students after Konohomaru was admitted here. Sarada... she... She's become accustomed to her two-tomoesharingan. Her strength is still so unbelievable. She's just like you." He thanked her wordlessly with a smile causing Sakura to flicker her eyes back and forth as she accepted his compliment.
"Does she still remind you of Itachi-san?" Sakura asked after recovering from her flushed stated.
"Always. Especially whenever she mentions the importance of family," Sasuke said, thinking back to an incident where Sarada had told Sasuke that if he was a criminal she wouldn't rat him out.
"I suppose she got that from you, don't you think, darling?" Sakura asked.
"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked inquisitively, convinced that very trait was inherited from her mother.
"Your unconditional love for us. She inherited that from you, I'm sure," Sakura clarified.
Sasuke edged his face closer towards Sakura's until his breath tickled her skin, leaving tingles all up her spine. "I don't know about that..." he whispered huskily to her. "But what I do know, is that I do love you unconditionally. That much is true." He tried to reflect his words with his actions by enjoining himself with her, allowing the feeling of her lips to whisk him away until he felt as if he was in a garden of paradise. When he pulled away shortly after, he whispered to her, "I'll be away for a while. I'll find Sarada before I leave. Expect a letter before I come back."
"That's a good idea. I'd rather not faint in front of Sarada again," Sakura laughed nervously. "Oh! You should be able to find Sarada on the 3rd floor. Konohamaru is set to be released today, so Team 7 should be visiting him. Plus, Sarada did say she was going to get some daifaku for her sensei, so you'll find her there."
"Ah, thanks."
*...Daylight...*
As Sasuke took in the sights around him, from the tree leaves that hung low to the golden light that echos through each fibre of his body and soul and every creation his mismatched eyes fell upon, Sasuke relished in the fact that everything that he could see, hear and feel were a direct contrast to his perspective of the world over fifteen years ago. Back then, his life was bleak. Dark blacks and blank whites, with hints of red spreading like wildfire through the cracks in his heart after he had learnt about his brother Itachi. But now... life held so much meaning, and he could see it in the flickers of the starlight, hear it in the wind as it brought songs of love and ardour to him, and feel it in the incandescent glow of the morning rays. The joys of life could be seen in his daughter's eyes, heard in his family's laughter, and felt as he embraced his wife after an act of love-making.
Months had passed and letters would be sent and received; the two parties had mutually agreed to keep their letters a secret, as many of them were love letters - something too intimate to be shared with anyone else. He remembers a letter she had written to him only a week prior:
My dear Sasuke-kun,
I hope this reaches you well. I dream of you almost every night, and I feel the chill in my bones due to your absence.
I get lonely when Sarada is on her missions, but it is those nights that I try to take on night shifts to occupy myself.
In my last dream, you and I were all wrinkled with greying hair. You were blind, and I had asked you if you could see one last thing, what would you see? You told me you already see it everywhere. You told me it was cherry-blossoms. And because of the fool that you are, even in my dreams, I woke up crying.
I love you, you idiot.
Come back to us safe.
Always yours,
Sakura.
As usual, the letters from Sakura would ignite him, leaving him feeling light as if he could take on anything - no matter how many weeks he would be away from his family. Daylight was him chuckling at her letters and tracing ever word she wrote with his finger, missing her presence beside him. Daylight was the feeling he got in his chest whenever he heard of another accomplishment by his starlight, Sarada.
But on one particular day, as the day transitioned into night, he felt the coldness of the night sweep over him like an unwanted piece of clothing forced upon him, refusing to let the sun take sovereign over the sky. As he looked upon his wife's face beneath a rubble of stone and bricks, a collision of stars whirled past, and he swore that he could rip through the sky and bring her the sun, moon and all the stars if it meant keeping her alive. Sakura had accompanied him on a mission he had initially set out alone to do in order to gain more information in how to cure Naruto's chakra illness. The thought of losing her - someone he had poured all his heart into - to lose someone precious again - crumbled him. It tore him apart. He had been screaming her name, for no sound to be heard back, his sharingan moving erratically left to right, left to right... until he had caught hold of a small glimpse of his own chakra. It was the chakra encased in the ruby ring he had made for her that had led him to find her battered and bruised body. With tears streaking down his face, he used the ability Sakura had entrusted onto him to bring her back to him. He worked his chakra steadily and poured it into her, aiming to also extinguish the remains of the toxins within her until she stirred within his arm. She was breathing, she was alive. She was with him.
After completing their mission, they returned home. Together. The feel of her fingers holding onto his steered away the feeling of his guts and organs twisting inside him, squeezing until no breath remained inside of him, at the sight of her almost lifeless body laying in front of him. Whenever he could, wherever he could, he would hold his lover close, reminding himself that she was still here with him. She was beside him, and she was breathing. Any distance that he had felt had been created months ago had now been closed once again. As they lay together, skin against skin, his face resting against her heart as he listened to her heartbeat, he felt her hold him close. Arms wrapped around each other.
"You've been really needy lately, Sasuke-kun," Sakura giggled.
"Are you complaining?" Sasuke asked.
"No, no! Of course not! I love it, you know that," Sakura replied without hesitation, hoping he doesn't pull away. "But... I've been worried. It's been a month since Naruto recovered from his illness and you still hold me as if you're concerned about something. Has something happened?"
Sasuke further nuzzled himself into Sakura's breasts. "I don't want to talk about it," he muttered into her, his voice muffled by her plush skin.
He felt her fingers thread into his hair as she cooed, "It might help if you do..." When he didn't reply for another minute or so, she continued with, "Whatever's bothering you, I don't want you to suffer alone. So please, Sasuke-kun..."
Sasuke started to etch the Uchiha crest onto her skin, trying to form his words before giving into her request. When he was ready he stopped his ministrations and shifted his head until he was looking up at her.
"I keep thinking about that day," he confessed. "The day you... The day I almost lost you. Sakura. Don't leave me."
His precious flower moved her arms from his body and settled them onto his face, cradling him. "Darling... I love you. I can only ever see me by your side, and you, you saved me," a breathtaking smile broke across her face the same time a tear slipped out of her gentle green orbs. "Because of you, I'm still here. With you. It's a good thing you asked me to teach you how to heal, hm? I'm here, Sasuke-kun, I'm here." Her thumb wiped over a tear he did not know he had shed.
"Sakura," he said. "I could never lose you. This - us - it could never... it CAN'T end. You and Sarada are all I have left. If I were to lose you both... I'd never walk these streets of Konoha again." Sasuke lifted his body and hovered above her before falling onto his side and altering her position with him. He brought his forehead together with hers and closed his eyes as he felt the pain wash away over him through a droplet that slid over the side of his nose.
"I'm not going anywhere, Sasuke-kun," she consoled him through a whisper. "And I know the both of us will continue to do whatever it takes to keep Sarada safe too. But for us, it's the same. Sarada doesn't say it, but I can see it in her face when you're away. We just want to know you're safe. We'll always be waiting for you here, darling. So don't worry about us, we're fine. I promise."
Sasuke opened his eyes to look into lush green, remembering the lake they stood over, watching as the cosmos smiled down upon them: husband and wife, trading secrets of the hearts under the sky. "Thank you, Sakura," he said. His knuckles brushed over the skin under her eyes before he pulled his hand away and let it rest over hers under the blanket. "I really do want to see you with wrinkles, Sakura."
Sakura let out a soft chuckle as she said, "Seriously? Will you still love me even then?"
"Ah, of course," he answered. "How could I not? Your wrinkles will be the testament of how our love has evolved as we've grown old together."
"Is that what you want, Sasuke? To grow old together?"
"Hn. You already know that."
"I know. I just like hearing you say it," she said, joy framing her words.
"Wife. It's what I dream of," he told her as he allowed sleep to take its course and allow him to sink in as he drowned in the safety and familiarity of her love.
She was alive.
She was breathing.
She was safe.
*...Daylight...*
Sasuke would travel back and forth to Konoha, meetings and light-hearted curses thrown between himself and his old-time friend, Naruto; resuming the training of the basics with his student, and supporting his child with her strengthening of the sharingan. But what he would look forward to the most was sharing the mundane tasks with his family: making and setting dinner, assembling furniture, ironing clothes, and shopping at the market stalls.
"Papa, we can't just have tomatoes for every meal, you know," Sarada exclaimed as she eyed his basket full of tomatoes. "They're not even that nice," she grimaced.
"They're healthy," Sasuke defended himself. "You need to maintain a balanced diet."
Sarada rolled her eyes. "I know that much. Mama is a doctor. Which is why I know that indulging in sweets every now and then isn't the worst decision ever. You need to chill out, Papa. Eat a cookie for once or something."
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "A cookie isn't going to give you the nutrition you need. Go find Sakura if these fruits offend you so much."
"A tomato is a vegetable! Isn't that why you insist on putting them in the salad?" Sarada retorted.
"Salads need tomatoes," Sasuke agreed.
A rustle in the wind caused jet black hair to sway across two faces as sweat slid down the younger human. "Papa... I think it's best if you don't make jokes. It doesn't suit you," Sarada delivered dryly, her eyes reducing to two slits behind her red frames. Sasuke set the basket of grocery down to place his hand on top of her head and ruffle her hair. He shared a small smile with her before agreeing to whatever food she suggested they buy.
*...Daylight...*
Roads could lead to new places, a chance to create new, fresh memories. But roads could also lead to places that bear memories of joyous moments, a picturesque scene can flit your mind to a time where you visited the spot, or similar to it, with your loved ones... or they could lead your mind down a path full of remorse and past mistakes. Sasuke's current mission had taken him to a field that lacked life. No flowers grew there, no plains of grass... But what remained were the remnants of roots that had sucked chakra out of shinobi on the battlefield. It was a war-torn land, a place where four ninja had saved the lives of the world, and had been brought back by the phantom who was known as 'The Sage of the Six Paths'. He remembers clearly what his resolve had been that fateful day... to become a Hokage and coerce the world into a revolution. His mind had been twisted, and he had eventually been beaten out of that warped mentality. Literally. However, it was not that memory that struck him. What repeated in his mind again and again was Sakura's words... how she had pleaded not to delve deeper into the darkness, to not leave again, how she was helpless in rescuing him and how her love for him tormented her. Even now, the memory of her words made him tremble... It shook him to the very core now as it did back then. How she could be so selfless with her love, always putting him first, unable to strike him down. Once again, guilt overtook Sasuke as he recalled the words he had said to her as he had trapped her into a genjutsu. The chains of his past haunted Sasuke even in the present, creeping up on him when he is basking in the sunlight, causing him to feel undeserving of everything he has now.
Sasuke stood in what used to be the battlefield, working through his thoughts with a pained expression on his face. It was a few hours after night had fallen, that Sasuke had decided on what to do. There was no point in continuing his pursuit if he could not fixate on the task at hand, not if he was not completely focused. It was with his rinnengan that he transported back home, to his bedroom, to find his wife sleeping snugly with her back turned to him. He could not tell if she was awake or not, maybe it was for the best if he did check, he mused. He did not want to be interrupted. And so, Sasuke stood in the darkness of the room, and with each word he spoke, he felt lighter:
"Hey, Sakura," he began. "I know it's late. I know I didn't give you any notice that I was coming home tonight. But there have been some things on my mind that I wanted to, had to, tell you. I... I'm not used to speaking like this. I don't know how to... express my feelings. Dammit. And with you turned away from me on the bed right now... I'm not even sure if you're awake. Doesn't matter. If you are awake, don't say anything. And if you aren't, maybe this will all be like, some part of a beautiful dream."
Sasuke decided he wanted to start from the beginning. If he was going to do this, he might as well lay it all out in the open.
"I often dismissed you... But it's because I was afraid of my feelings for you. I couldn't let you get in the way of my quest for revenge - my mission. I was mean to you because I liked you. Look at me and Naruto. The forehead thing... was silly. I love your forehead.
"You're a healer, I'm a destroyer. We balance each other out. In fact, without my sharingan, your genjutsu is much more powerful than mine. I pushed everyone away... but you always gave me all your love. You're not annoying. And I forgive you for what you said about Naruto not having parents.
"When you touch me, I blush. I can't control it. But, I could ignore it. You see... that I wasn't as cold-hearted as I needed to be, and I couldn't have anyone see that. People saw it as... a weakness. I opened up to you about my past, I don't know why. You make my body, just, move on it's own. I'm not always in control around you, you confuse me.
"After our fight with Haku, when I awoke with you holding me. I couldn't let you see me cry, but I couldn't push you away either. You became... my family. And in the end, I had to make you even more. I couldn't understand romantic love before, my mind was clouded. That's... why I had to compliment you - recognise your accomplishments during the chunin exams, because you never would have. It was what I always wanted my father or even my big brother Itachi to say to me. I'm sorry I've treated you the way I have. But I guess, in a way, it's helped you. Fuelled you to work harder, for my attention, for my approval. We're not really that different, you and I. I know exactly how you feel."
Sasuke found himself going through their history together back from when they were genin, spilling out his heart to her so openly, so vulnerably. It was what he wanted. For her to know how deeply sorry he was. For everything. He had always said he was sorry for everything, but he had never had the opportunity to explain what he meant. When he had tried, Sakura had always shut him down, unwilling to listen, insisting that the past was just that: the past. But he needed her to know every inch of him, and so he continued with his sincere apology, hoping that she truly was awake, listening attentively as he delivered his piece.
As he came to the end of his apology where he had outlined in retrospect, his perspective on events that they had trudged through and the darkness that he had succumbed to, up to the start of his journey of redemption, Sasuke began the end of his monologue:
"So, I guess what I'm trying to say, in my own fashion is... I'm sorry. And I love you. I've always loved you. I'll never be easy, I'll never be... good. But I will be yours."
Sasuke wiped his tear-stricken face with the back of his fingerless glove before undressing himself and clothing himself into more suitable attire for the night. As he lifted the duvet to take his place by his wife's side, he noticed her figure trembling, and his breath hitched at the sound of whimpering coming from her. He realised what he was hearing were muffled cries. He sunk into his spot, wondering if she was shackled to the chains of a night terror, but when the cries didn't stop he sat up and looked down at the side of her face that was not concealed by her pillow. Sure enough, her eyes were closed, but in the darkness even he could make out that she was biting down on her lip.
"Sakura...?" he asked in a hushed whisper, still unsure if she was awake or not.
"S-S-Sa-Sas-Sasuke-kun!" came the muffled response.
He slid back down and held her to his chest, resting his chin on her rosy hair. "Did you have a bad dream?" he asked.
He felt her head shift beneath him as she shook a negative. Sasuke closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, and then exhaled as he opened his eyes again. "Were you... awake? All this time?" he asked, straining his voice, hoping it was the case.
Her body began to violently shake even more as tears spilled out and she let out a desperate sound of what could only have been his name. "Sassske-kn!"
"I'm here, Sakura," he told her affectionately. "Will you let me see your face?" A shake of the head and more whimpering noises. She would not relent, and so he kissed the crown of her head. "I want to see you."
"I l-look l-like a m-mess!" came the response.
"Please... Sakura. I hate it when you're distressed. Especially if I'm the cause of it," Sasuke admitted. His face twisted in discomfort at the suspicion that she was crying due to him having her to face the terrible realities of their past. "If I knew it would have pained you so for me to say all that... I wouldn't have said it. I don't want you to cry, Sakura. All I can say now is I'm sorry. I must have brought back a lot of painful memories for you-"
"Idiot!"
Sasuke's eyes widened at her reaction. He watched in stunned silence as Sakura adjusted herself so she was now facing him, cheeks flushed and her eyes slightly tinted red from all the tears shed. Her brows were furrowed and her face was scrunched up in what he could only identify as either anger or just plain annoyance. "I'm not crying because I'm upset with what you said," she protested.
"Then why-"
He watched as the muscles on her face constricted as she struggled to not crumple in front of him. "I- I just... You- Urgh, I can't even speak!"
She scrunched up his collar in her fist as she struggled to communicate her feelings to him. "You just... You just make me so happy, Sasuke-kun. I'm crying because I've loved you for so long... and to hear, that you've had deep, sincere feelings for me for just as long- Sasuke, do you have any idea how that makes me feel?! I... I just wanted to save you... That's all I wanted. I just wanted you to be happy. I didn't ever want you to face any hardship alone, and all that trauma you had faced at so young... It broke me when I found out." Sakura paused to wipe her tears away with the heel of her palm. "S-Sasuke-kun, I'm emotional because you were able to open up to me so freely... To know your true feelings hidden underneath everything you've been through... To know that in some way, in some form, even though we had thought we had lost you, Naruto and I were still able to get through to that stony, cold heart of yours... Sasuke, I... I'm so happy. So so happy, for you. For us." Sasuke watched her as the tears still came running free down her face. He pulled her face into his clothed chest and planted his chin on top of her head.
It was when that he no longer heard her soft cries or the feeling of his top getting more damp that he pulled her away and looked down at her. "Are you sure you're not upset? Because I've tried apologising to you about my past mistakes before but you've always brushed it off," he said, intent on reaching her true feelings about the matter.
"That's because I just didn't want you to relive any trauma. I didn't want you to swamp yourself in the mistakes of your past when I had forgiven you already with your first apology. And I have forgiven you! You don't need to apologise anymore," she begged, shaking her head as she said so. "I hope that now that you've finally said your piece though, that you can be at peace. That you never have to feel constrained by your own self. That you no longer feel a shadow lingering over you. That's all I want, Sasuke-kun."
Sasuke studied the beautiful carve of her face as a single tear left him. Once again, it was her selfless love that he admired the most, what enamoured him, left him clinging onto her as if she was the very thing in existence he needed to stay alive. "You say that... But tell me, Sakura. Is it enough? Do I bring you peace?" The pain was evident in his voice, and he could tell that Sakura was working hard on how to form her answer as her emerald jewels gazed around the room, as if the answer was there somewhere. It was a few more moments before her gaze landed on him again, and she smiled at him. A smile that mended all his broken pieces back together again.
"For so long, all I wanted was for you to be home with Sarada. Do you remember? How I would make wishes to the comets you would make for me, brightening up the sky with a part of you," she touched his face tenderly and her smile grew at the memory. "All I wanted was for Sarada to have her Papa and not feel your absence... and now you've made that dream a reality. Thank you, darling. Because of you, we're happy. Because of you."
She left a soft, sweet kiss on his lips after the departure of her words. But as she moved away from him, giving him his space, his hand roamed around her body, searching for more answers, more confessions, more secrets. Soon she had started to do the same. Their lips met each other again, only freeing the other to gain some air before finding themselves lost in a heated kiss. They saw stars and galaxies swimming around them as eventually they were both clothed in only each other. Embracing their lover as if it was the last time they would ever make love, passionate and electrifying. All his scars and turmoils of the past softened under her touch; as a healer, it was only natural that she could find multiple ways to heal him, even in the most unorthodox of ways: hips thrust together until he swore that she was a mythical thing. How could such an ethereal being exist, he wondered.
"I don't know, how do you exist?" he heard whispered back to him. Apparently he had wondered his thoughts aloud, and before she could continue with her flirtations he had found a way to silence her, causing her to moan his name out in pleasure instead.
When they were done sealing their love, they lay panting side by side, an inevitable smile gracing on both their lips as they both drew erratic breaths, trying to settle themselves back to earth from paradise. Their fingers still interlocked. His thumb brushing along the ruby ring he fixed on her finger that he had found slipping out of her robe's pocket as he had relieved her from its bindings.
As his eyelashes came down, he heard her say, "When I look at you, all I see is daylight." His heart fluttered in response.
Maybe this smile was permanent.
*...Daylight...*
As dawn broke into the sky, the sweet promise that the previous starlit sky brought, it filtered into the room through the curtains and revealed the naked bareness that darkness had consumed. Upon seeing her, a red hue overcame his face - if not for the glimmering sunlight, it would have been clear whether the red passing over him emitted from the sun or from the blood that coursed through his body.
He looked down at where they were joined: their hands that were still interlinked. He shifted himself so he was facing and he proceeded to play with her ring, slipping it on and off her finger, a little habit of his that had surfaced whenever he was sure she was asleep. The red twinkled back at him, flashing him an array of colours that reminded him of beautiful sunsets as he stood with his lover beside him. It reminded him of auroras being awakened into the sky and splitting the dark blues of the blanket above the lands into striking colours that competed with all the colours of the earth. His eyes trailed above her bare form until it found the pastel colours of her hair - a pink that put flowers of her name to shame. He buried his nose in the softness of her strands and he gazed upon her sleeping form, willing her to wake.
Two hours had passed and he was still admiring her beauty as she slept. Although he was tired from his lack of sleep as most of the night was talking through their words and their bodies, he found staring at her brought him more peace than sleep ever could. His hand trailed over the smoothness of her skin, relishing in the serenity it brought him, until he found the skin that covered her heart, and his palm rested there as he felt the beating of her heart reverberate through his own skin.
When she finally arose, she blinked a few times taking in her surroundings until her emeralds that could see into his soul found him. She gifted him a look full of endearment that he couldn't place as anything else other than radiant. Her bewitching tone rang in his ear as smooth as silk as she said, "I didn't think you'd still be here."
"Hmm. But I am... Besides, I was in too deep in a meadow of flowers, I couldn't just leave as my favourite bloomed," he teased with a slight smirk. He observed her as a pretty blush grew on her features.
"Sarada's right," she managed to mumble out. "You shouldn't joke... It doesn't suit you."
He chuckled as he sat himself up. "Do you want breakfast?" he asked.
"No, it's okay," Sakura replied. "When you're not home Sarada usually brings me breakfast when I don't have a morning shift and if she's not on a mission. She has a mission later on, so she'll be waking up soon."
Sakura sat up too and yawned and stretched her arms up high. "I think I'll have a shower first," she announced. "Care to join me?" Sakura winked at him.
Sasuke regained his stoic exterior as he answered her. "If Sarada's home, then no," he replied. A small pout formed on her lips causing him to release some air through his nose. He brought two fingers together and poked her forehead earning him a light blush at the affectionate gesture. Next time.
*...Daylight...*
Husband and wife sat on the living room couch as the 'Konoha Daily News' buzzed in front of them, a white noise to the couple who had dozed off as their heads rested against each other. It was when he heard a clattering sound behind him that Sasuke awoke and turned around to see his daughter all flustered as she struggled to maintain the balance of two mugs and some light breakfast on a tray.
"Papa?!" she exclaimed in surprise.
"Ah, Sarada. I'm home," he greeted his pre-teen daughter who was gawking at her parents as her feet remained rooted to the spot.
"Y-you and M-Mama..." she lost her words as she gestured towards the pair with her chin, seemingly startled at seeing her parents showing affection to each other. Both her parents.
"Hn. Sakura didn't sleep much last night so she's just catching up now," he explained. He beckoned his daughter closer as she walked towards him, tray still in hand. "Here. Sit with Sakura. I'll make my own breakfast." He was about to nudge Sakura off him and stand up when Sarada stopped him by placing down the tray abruptly on the tea table and placing her hands up in protest.
"N-no! It's okay! Uh... You and Mama can rest!" she insisted. "I'll make you breakfast, Papa!" Sarada grinned cheekily as a light blush adorned her cheeks.
Sasuke rose a brow at her retreating form and couldn't help but think he had been granted two adorable girls.
*...Daylight...*
A spark. An undercurrent of feelings swamped over him - once the same volts of chakra had haunted him through his adult life, taunting him as he was tormented by the memories of him using those same sparks to leave trails of blood, marking his victims. Aiming his charge at his beloved. But now it was a symbol of life. On her hands, it was a symbol of hope. He watched as his daughter copied his hand symbols as she gained her momentum by running down a tree, a spark of a chidori in her hand as she practised the jutsu he had handed over to her. He smiled as she rang out a ferocious, "Shannaro!" as she aimed at a tree trunk.
Explosion.
The tree had been cut down as easily as his hair had been snipped by his wife. Wood scattered around the field like fireworks lighting up the sky, and Sarada slumped to the ground, only to land on her Papa's lap. She was exhausted, it had been the third time she had used the chidori and she was flat out of chakra at this point.
"I... can keep... going..." Sarada panted.
"No," Sasuke denied her, his grip on her arm tightening. "That's enough. Don't you have a mission later today?"
Sarada's head fell to her father's shoulder as she gave in to him. "Yes..." she admitted. "But we set out after light! So I can still-"
Sasuke shook his head before adding, "You're still new to the chidori. You need to give your body some time to recover. No more training for you today."
Sarada sighed, "Fine, Papa... but I still need to meet up with Boruto and Mitsuki later before our mission to go through our plans."
"Hn. But nothing else before your mission," Sasuke said, trying his best to remain stern with his adorable pea- daughter.
Sarada slowly got up from her father's lap and steadied herself with her own two feet. When she stumbled, her father grabbed her again, but she insisted she could walk. "It's okay, Papa," she reassured him with a slight pant. "Thank you for supporting me though." She smiled up at him, and father and daughter walked back home just in time for lunch with the matriarch of the family.
*...Daylight...*
It was after lunch that Sasuke went to see Naruto at his office and update him on the status of his current mission.
"It's strange for you to a halt a mission so abruptly," Naruto commented raising an amused brow at his best friend. "Not that I'm complaining. It seems that you got everything under control. And it's good you're spending some time with Sakura-chan and Sarada-chan now. Even Boruto seems more cheery-"
"That battlefield," Sasuke cut in. "I'm thinking of going back and inspecting it more thoroughly with my rinnengan. It's likely some White Zetsu cells remain, or even our own cells."
"You don't need to be in any rush, Sasuke," Naruto responded. "I don't think this 'Kara' group are interested in us, anyhow. Besides, I can get Sai and his ANBU team on it if you can't."
"Don't worry about it. I'll probably depart tomo-" Sasuke's words were interrupted by a high-pitched yell outside.
Both Sasuke and Naruto headed out onto the Seventh Hokage's stone face to see what the commotion was about.
"WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO! IF YOU BECOME A PRO AT CHIDORI THEN WE REALLY WILL BE THE BEST LIGHTNING STYLE TEAM THIS VILLAGE HAS EVER- OW! SARADA!" Boruto yelled as Sarada pulled him by the ear.
"Shut up, you dork!" she seemed to hiss at him by the reading of her lips. "It's just a C-rank mission, so don't get ahead of yourself!"
Sasuke felt an elbow nudge him as he looked down below at their two offsprings.
"They really are like us, huh, Sasuke?" he heard Naruto say.
"Hm. The idiot has an idiot son," Sasuke retorted back.
"HEY!" Naruto yelled back, his eyes becoming round orbs in frustration. "Boruto looks up to you, you know! That isn't a way to speak about your student! Or the Hokage! Dattebayo!"
"But even idiots have their talents," Sasuke said as he shared a small smile with Naruto.
Naruto blinked several times, not used to receiving direct compliments from the Uchiha, before flashing a massive toothy grin.
Sasuke's smile grew slightly wider before his gaze averted to their younger copies again. He was confident that the future was bright and secure with a Hokage as golden as daylight. The man who made dreams come true with his own hands - or his own words.
*...Daylight...*
Wind breezing through his hair as black as coal, as if whispering soothing words to the fine strands that swayed atop his head that glistened with the setting sun raining down on him. As the streaks of pinks, reds, oranges and purples moulded into each other and painted the sky with its artistic touch, dusk hung over them as the light slowly shied away behind the few clouds in the sky. Candy floss hovered over the lands as the same coloured hair tickled the handsome man's jaw. Sakura rested her head against his shoulder as they sat upon the bench where memories were stowed away, locked into an unspoken locket of fate, waiting for it to be unravelled once again by the two who loved each other.
The two proud parents wished farewell to their daughter as she departed for her mission. Sasuke looked at his young family, eyes soft with fondness as he looked at the ageless jade eyes that shone with a strength he admired in her. Her eyes lit up the surrounding area even as nightfall crept up on them with each ticking second. Her eyes reflected the child that they had born fruit to: Sarada's face was slightly flushed as she attempted to brush off her parent's affections. After all, it was rare for her parents to send her off for a mission. But despite her seeming embarrassed, it was clear to even Sasuke that she was grateful to her parents for their attention; their love.
As she said her final goodbyes, the young Uchiha waved with a grin that wormed itself onto her face, unbidden as she walked off with her team before hissing something along the lines of "Stupid Boruto".
He sat with the pink-haired nymph, her head resting on his shoulder as they sat upon their bench, watching the sky alternate its beautiful colours as each colour slowly faded into each other, reflecting the dancing aurora lights into deep greens and bottomless onyx eyes. One moment the aurora lights were a pathway leading to heaven, the next they were scattering in all directions, as if dispersing its beauty and kissing the earth with its grace, shimmering and illuminating every life with hope and neon lights even in the night sky. Within the waterfall of colours that held up the sky with its myriad swirled rainbows, the colours that stood out to him the most were pink, green and golden. Always golden.
And as the moon casts its spell across the lands, concealing its secrets with its comforting darkness, Sasuke nudges her shoulder with his and wills her to face him. He looks into the endless jade orbs of serenity and sees all the best bits of his past, present and future in it. Through it all, he sees her. He sees her with her candy-floss hair dancing in the wind as it sings its lullabies, and he sees her with her care-free melodic laughter and her winning smiles that makes his heart grow wings and escape into the stars. He sees her holding their new-born babe who mirrors his own features, and gives him more light; another reason to live; another thing to love; another reason to protect the beautiful glow of the world. He sees her, and oh he loves what he sees. Perhaps she is known for wearing her heart on her sleeve, but he is sure his is stuck in his throat. His breath is taken by her beauty, by her compassionate grace. He is taken - and words fail him. Words do not flow, and so he can only gift her a smile that is so wide, anyone passing would be unsettled to see the Sasuke Uchiha smiling as affectionately as he does. He is glad the night blankets his face from any onlookers, and is even more grateful that there is no one else around to see them. He only hopes that Sakura - his wife, his lover, the one who holds the key to his heart - can see and understands.
He sees the tint of pink rise on her cheeks and his eyes soften at the sight. He feels her hand clasp over his and tighten.
He leans in close, awaiting her to do the same. However, her lips choose another course of action. She speaks. Her words are beautiful, a reflection of her own soul.
"I know, Sasuke," she says. Her voice a harp to his ears as it plays a melodious song. "I love you too."
You are my world, he almost says. But she knows it. She proves it by joining her lips with his, and it is a confession of love, but oh, so much more. He wants all her sleepless nights and lazy mornings; she wants all his secret smiles and his forehead pokes. So they promise to give what the other wants to receive, and it is with that kiss that hearts are aligned, and peace is forged into the world, forever embedded into the bench that they sit at knowing full well that if anything had happened different in their past, the present would still be the same. They would always have found each other. Because their love knows no bounds, and he has been freed from the darkness by gold dust.
As their lips part, their hands are interlinked in between them and they tell each other of their plans for when tomorrow comes. His mission still stands as he is forever indebted to the golden Hokage for where he is now and who he has now in his life. She understands, and lets him know it's okay, she will wait. As she always has done. Her hand finds his heartbeat and she whispers to him,
"I'll always be your home. No matter where you are. I'll be here to welcome you back."
It is home where he wants to stay.
It is at home tonight that he will demonstrate to her what she means to him.
"Thank you."
I want to be defined by the things that I love.
He holds Sakura close to his chest as she snuggles into him, a smile set on her lips. Eyelashes touching skin, cheeks flushed.
He thinks of his daughter, and hopes she is safe. Confident in her abilities as a ninja, he is sure she is.
Not the things I hate.
Not the things that I'm afraid of... the things that haunt me in the middle of the night- I
His mind flickers to all the turmoil that has befallen him over his years, and he is glad he is no longer living that life full of torment and solitude.
I just think that - you are what you love.
He is the father of Sarada Uchiha, and husband to Sakura Uchiha.
He is Sasuke. And his heart is full of light and beats for them.
And so it goes, even in the darkness, the world is bathed in daylight.
[END]
A/N: Thank you so much for coming to the end! I've really enjoyed exploring the different layers of the complex Sasuke Uchiha, and I hope that so have you!
Initially, I had only started writing this to promote/explain my Sasuke - Daylight AMV which you can watch on YouTube, called: 'Sasuke's Redemption - Daylight AMV'.
This story was only supposed to be a few short chapters showcasing snapshots of Sasuke's life as he enjoys what life brings thanks to his friend from saving him from the darkness. However, as I kept writing, ideas would flood through me and I had found myself wanting to explain unanswered questions left by the anime/manga of the Uchiha family. Such as the story behind Sarada's sharingan, how did Sasuke fall in love with Sakura, how does Sasuke really feel about being absent for so many years from Sarada? Too many times I had thought "only a few more chapters then I'm done", but I just kept on getting more ideas as I fleshed out my story!
Thank you to Kishimoto for his brilliant imagination and creativity in creating our beloved characters with their complicated histories. Thank you to Taylor Swift for her immaculate song writing skills - I'm convinced she's secretly a SasuSaku fan and she's based some of her songs on them.
I would love to hear your comments on this final chapter and my fanfic overall, and I hope to see you on my next one (A modern Sakura-centric SasuSaku AU - I've currently got the beginning and middle planned out in my head!)
I'm really sad to be letting this go and ending it as I have loved to write and explore Sasuke's thoughts and feels, but I am planning to write a continuation of this as more anime episodes are released, so I'll make another 'book' for that sequel. And it's crazy because Sasuke was probably my hated character once upon a time, but now I have 4 AMVs and a whole-ass fanfic dedicated to his character. Lmao. My 13 year old self is quaking.
Also, out of curiosity, how did you find this story? , Tumblr or somewhere else? Let me know!
- RezuuRoar
