Poppy Pomfrey finished fussing over the students and then turned to where Dora lay on the bed unconscious. She sighed and shook her head, "thought I'd seen the end of this one. Anyone see what she was hit with?"

"It was Bellatrix Lestrange so could have been anything" Mad-Eye growled.

Poppy winced but then silently set to work performing a number of wordless diagnostic spells, frowning intermittently before she stood back and studied the unconscious form. She paused and then turned to face him, Mad-Eye and Kingsley. "She'll have to be transferred to St Mungo's. I don't know what she hit her with but it's nasty, not like anything I've ever seen."

Remus's insides threatened to upturn themselves. In the space of a few hours the shock of seeing her mangled bloodied form on the floor at Grimauld Place, the relief at seeing her alive and well, and now this. And he hadn't even started to process - No. No time for that right now.

"Will she be ok?" Remus asked in barely more than a whisper.

"She's alive and breathing if that's what you mean." Poppy replied in her usual no nonsense tone.

Suddenly the doors were flung open and none other than Albus Dumbledore himself swept into the ward.

"Headmaster!" Poppy yelped in surprise.

"Poppy, I trust all is well?" Dumbledore took in each of the students from their beds in turn before his gaze landed on Tonks.

"Well... yes. The students will be fine. I was just saying that we'll need to get Miss Tonks to St Mungo's though, she's taken something nasty to the head, but she'll live."

She'll live. His heart was pounding in his chest. He wanted to go over to her, stroke a finger down that pale cheek and push that stray strand of hair behind her ear. Take her small cold hand in his and press his lips to it. But instead he turned to Dumbledore who was addressing him now. "Remus, I'm sorry. Truly. But now that the oldest living Black is on the wrong side we can't say how the blood enchantments will react with the infidelius charm."

Remus nodded shakily, "I'll go right away"

"I'll join you" Kingsley stepped forward and the pair looked to Mad-Eye who nodded curtly.

Sparing one last glance at Dora, Remus left the hospital wing with Kingsley. She was in safe hands with her old mentor, safer than she was in his hands he hastened to remind himself.


It was late by the time they had finished clearing out Grimauld Place. Visiting hours at St Mungos were over. It was probably for the best, she'd be ok. He had to keep repeating it to himself over and over. She was strong. She was tough. She'd be ok.

He needed somewhere to stay. He found a room in a muggle inn London that he'd used once before and put down his trunk. He had a separate bag of the things Tonks had left at Grimauld Place, she had an impressive habit of spreading her belongings out over every room of the house. A ring in the library, her favourite mug in the bathroom, her t shirt in his bedroom... Kingsley had taken everything else to hold on to for now. Collapsing on to the bed, head in hands, only now did tears start to fall for his old friend. The last remaining beacon of the life he'd once had. This last year with Sirius was something Remus hadn't thought he'd ever get. It was a gift and a curse for it threw him back into the grief and bereavement he'd spent 13 years coming to terms with. Sirius's final advice to him was to not throw away his relationship with Dora and make himself miserable. Remus's last advice to Sirius was to stay at Grimauld Place, stay safe. Really, they knew each other too well by now to hope that the other would listen. He should have pushed harder. Just another thing to add to the never ending list of things to feel guilty over. Tonks always said he wasn't responsible for Sirius. But how would she feel now that his failure to get through to his oldest friend had resulted in the loss of her cousin?

Sleep didn't come that night, he knew it wouldn't. He couldn't even close his eyes without seeing Sirius's face. Whether it was that final look of triumph before he fell, Sirius looking sullen and depressed as he sipped fire whiskey from the bottle in the Grimauld Place living room, 17-year-old Sirius scowling as he jumped for his bottle of hair product that James was levitating out of his reach. 16-year-old Sirius puffed up with pride at having just succeeded in becoming an animagus. 15-year-old Sirius throwing his head back as he roared with laughter at his own joke. It went on and on but it didn't matter because it was all over now.

And then there was Dora. Was she still unconscious? Had she woken up? Did she know about Sirius?

He sighed and upturned the contents of the bag containing her belongings onto the bed. Her belongings were like her, bright and full of character, a bright orange jumper, a turquoise t shirt, a mug that flashed all manner of colours and sang different songs depending on which drink it was filled with. They all looked thoroughly out of place in this dingy, depressing room above a pub frequented by crooks and outcasts. He didn't want to dwell on it, but he had to admit that if her future with him wasn't the boggart Dora in the Grimauld Place bedroom then it would at the very least be full of rooms like this, places that someone as vibrant and full of life as her had no business being in.

He could hardly bring himself to face her as he made his way to St Mungo's early the next morning. She was still unconscious. Still blissfully unaware. He wished he was unconscious.

He sat with her a while just watching the steady rise and fall of her chest. She looked so small and fragile and barely like Dora at all without her exaggerated facial expressions and wild hand gestures. He reached out to take one of her small hands in his but jumped at the sound of the door opening from behind him. Mad-Eye hobbled into the room closely followed by a middle-aged man with thinning fair hair, his face looked as though it would be friendly under normal circumstances though at present it was etched with worry. His hand rested on the back of a slim woman, with long dark hair and dark eyes and those familiar prominent cheek bones. Dora hadn't been exaggerating, Andromeda Tonks bore an uncanny resemblance to her older sister. It was unnerving to now look into a face that so greatly resembled that of the woman who had put Dora in this hospital bed before murdering his best friend. But despite the likeness, the concern on Andromeda's face as her eyes fell upon her daughter was an expression Remus was sure had never been mimicked in Bellatrix's somehow harsher features.

Remus stood immediately and left the room with a nod to Ted and Andromeda who seemed too focussed on Dora's unconscious form at present to be curious as to what he was doing at their daughter's bedside.

He was too antsy to sit in the waiting room. Instead he took to wondering the streets aimlessly, feeling lost and very much alone. Somehow he ended up at the Raghnall Ravenclaw Magical Library and slipped inside deciding there was hardly a better place to will away the minutes. He browsed the shelves for a good hour, occasionally picking out a book that he knew would normally pique his interest, but unable to focus on the words that seemed to move about the page making his head spin.

Eventually his feet carried him on autopilot to the room he'd spent hours in over the years. It was a quiet corner with no books, just rows of desks which were always well stocked with parchment, quills and ink. He thought he might write an ode to Sirius, perhaps the words he would say at his old friend's funeral were their circumstances such that Sirius could be honoured with the ceremony he deserved. But the truth was there were no words to adequately pay homage to that man and even if there were, Remus wasn't ready to see them written down, to acknowledge that all that was left of Sirius now were words and memories.

Instead, Remus left the library some hours later with a short letter addressed to Albus Dumbledore confirming he was ready to embark on his mission. He didn't truly know what spurred him to write it, perhaps it was the loss of Sirius that left him feeling like he had no place else to go. The last year felt like a hazy sort of dream, routines had been so quickly established between him and Sirius in the dark of Grimauld Place and whilst living it, it had felt like a lifetime, but it had only been fleeting. He wished he'd given more of his time to Sirius, after the shock of having his old friend back it hadn't been long at all before he'd started taking his presence for granted. But Sirius was gone now and Remus was alone once more, accompanied only by the grief and regret that had been his only friend for 13 years.

The letter sat in his pocket, unsent, but like a silent reminder of what he had to do as he made his way back to St Mungo's. Truth be told there was still one person left on this earth who was undeniably precious to him, but something told him she would soon be gone also in one way or another.

Her parents weren't in her room when Remus arrived. Mad-Eye was sat on the chair next to her bed looking grave. Her face was turned away from the door but it was clear that she'd regained consciousness as she whispered to her old mentor. Remus felt relieved, he realised with a twinge of guilt, that he hadn't been the one she'd woken up to, meaning that Mad-Eye would have told her about Sirius already. He was a coward.

Mad-Eye looked over to him and Dora followed her mentor's gaze. "Remus" she practically whispered and Mad-Eye got up with a grunt, gave Tonks a meaningful look and exited the room, giving Remus a nod of acknowledgment as he passed him in the doorway.

"How are you?" Remus asked, knowing before the words left his mouth that it was a stupid question.

She didn't answer it but reached for his hand. At first he felt stunned by the contact, he'd thought things would be different between them now. But then he remembered that she hadn't been in his head the last few days to know where his thoughts had drifted to. She didn't even know about the boggart. The last time they were alone together was when he was recovering from the full moon. She'd left for work the next day, planting a kiss on his cheek and announcing cheerfully that she'd see him at the weekend. Everything had changed since then, but she acted as though nothing had.

He just stared at their entwined fingers; he could feel her concerned gaze on him but couldn't meet her eyes. "I'm so sorry about..." she couldn't even say his name. He was glad because he didn't particularly want to hear the name.

He shook his head, "I should have pushed back on him, he was out of practice"

"No." She said sternly, "he wanted to go, for Harry. That was his decision, it wasn't for you or anyone else to stop him"

Remus didn't say anything but just kept staring at where their hands lay on his bed.

"Besides" she continued, "if you're going to take that line then let's blame me as well. I was the one fighting Bellatrix before... before..."

His head snapped up now to catch her eye as she continued.

"They think I must have fallen down the steps and whatever she cursed me with just clipped the side of me somehow" Dora explained.

"Then thank Merlin you did otherwise you'd be dead too"

She shook her head, "I'm an Auror, I'm meant to protect, give my life if necessary"

Remus couldn't bare her speaking like this. "Please stop. He wouldn't have wanted you to die for him, it wouldn't have helped. And as for Bellatrix, her power is second only to Voldemort, none of us could have…"

"I'm going to kill her. Next chance I get." Her face was set, determined, it was impressive really that anyone could look so terrifying and fierce when sat in a hospital bed.

Remus could only squeeze her hand as they sat in silence, both wishing there was something they could do to relieve the other's grief if not their own.

"I was so sure that he would get his life back." she spoke eventually, "live to see this through to the end and make up for all that lost time. I wanted to do a mad drinking spree with him when this was all over. Take him to see my Mum…" her voice faltered at the mention of her mother.

"Do your parents know?" he asked.

"Not yet... they were here when I woke up and then I was just trying to get them out of here asap so I could speak to Mad-Eye. I don't like lying to them, but I didn't know how much I could say. Mad-Eye said I can tell them. I mean about Sirius and that it was... Bellatrix... but I don't know how to face Mum now. How do you tell your mum that her sister murdered her cousin who was actually not a mass murderer by the way, but you never got a chance to find that out whilst he was still..."

Remus winced. The loss of Sirius was made more poignant by the fact that only now in death would he be exonerated for the crimes he didn't comit. He noticed how every time her voice started to shake, she just stopped talking - she'd always despised seeming weak.

"Do you know when you can leave?" he asked trying to change the subject for her benefit.

"Soon! They just want to do a final check up and go over the potions with me."

"That's good" he nodded trying to assure himself, she was ok at least.

Before long, the Healer came in and after a final check over her injuries and detailed instructions around her potions to take for the next week which Remus suspected Dora wasn't paying much attention to, she was cleared to leave but with strict instructions to not be alone for the next 48 hours.

"Remus is staying with me" she told the Healer, clinging to his arm as she did so. This was news to him, but he didn't object.

"Won't your parents want to be with you?" he asked as she all but dragged him out the door, impatient to leave.

She sighed, "I know they're worried, and I need to go see them and explain... it's just... with everything, I really don't think I can face them right now. Is that ok?"

He nodded mutely. She was putting on a good front but her voice was so much smaller than normal and her eyes were so wide and vulnerable that even with the letter that seemed to weigh his pocket down heavily, he knew he couldn't bring himself to be apart from her just now.


A/N: Sorry that everything is starting to go wrong for them but we all knew it had to happen eventually... on the plus side, happier, fluffier times are just around the corner so bear with!

Thank you so much for your continued support with this story!